Disclaimer: As ever, no ownership of Inuyasha 'verse at all. Fun times, that's it. Hope it's enjoyable.
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Posted: 1.13.2020
Edited: 12.28.2020
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Paradigm Shift
Chapter Nine: Unsatisfied
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Nuance and delicacy are useful tools when trying to navigate the newness that settles in. Sadly, they tend to be overwhelmed by the work of the ever-present Chaos that continues to push and pull at the pieces of yourself during the process of the Paradigm Shift. People around you that want to be close to you start wanting to be even closer to you and each other, each in their own ways. These times are when the strongest friendships and fiercest enemies are made. Nothing solidifies a bond as well as going through a storm like this one together.
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It was a restless night, waiting for the attack to come. Kagome had woken from her nap a few hours after she had settled in. Blinking away the drowsiness that told her she had most surely not rested for long enough, She tightened her arms around Rin and Shippou. 'I wonder when they snuck in here with me.'
A glance around the room proved them to be alone, and she gently slid out from under the two precious bundles. She tucked them in snugly and peered into the hallway outside of the door. Empty. She crossed to the window and inspected the garden beyond, as well. Also empty. 'Wait. What's that sound?' The rustle of silk had been brief, but it sounded close.
She pushed herself up on the window's edge and braced her pelvis against it, bending outside and trying to squint through the darkness closest to the stretch of the long walls on either side of the house only to be startled by something thumping her on the top of her head.
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Sesshomaru couldn't resist the opportunity that he was presented with. She looked absurd propped out of the opening like that. Her head was perfectly in place below him, and he tapped it with the toe of his shoe. She nearly tumbled out. As it was, her legs waved wildly inside of the house, while her hands saved her from learning just how Inuyasha felt when she was angry.
"Did you sleep well?" Sesshomaru was sure that she hadn't heard the breath of a laugh as it escaped him. Her answer was rather garbled, and he put his chin on his bent knee to look down at her predicament. The foot that had accosted her head was still dangling innocently from the rooftop, barely above her bottom, now, rather than the crown of her head.
"Can't… breathe." She struggled to right herself and look up at Sesshomaru, but couldn't manage it. She braced her pride for a topple into the grass. Try as she might, levering herself back inside wasn't going to happen and she knew it. 'Stupid gravity. Stupid center of balance. Stupid Sesshomaru's foot.'
She let her head fall and hang where gravity dictated, defeated. Her legs stuck out behind her, and she prayed that nobody would come through the door inside.
"Help." She whispered, knowing that he could hear. The ledge was digging into her lower abdomen painfully.
"Sesshomaru." She whined his name and he had to force down another little laugh.
"I know you can hear me!"
He stepped off of the roof and let himself land in a crouch by her, pulling back the curtain of her hair and looking into her face.
"What are you doing?" He asked in a monotone.
"This is your fault." She blew a stream of air into his face. It ruffled his bangs.
"I ought to leave you here for that."
"You wouldn't!"
"Hm." He tugged on her hair and she shifted, threatening to topple to the ground again. She renewed her efforts to keep her arms flexed so that she wouldn't fall.
"Ugh."
"Hm."
"You're such a bully."
He scoffed.
"You are. You just found a different way of picking on us."
"It is not preferable to swordplay and acid whips?"
"Ugh. I'm not sure right now." She was pretty sure that her circulation was being impeded and she was losing feeling in her toes. The discovery that Sesshomaru had a wicked sense of humor had happened somewhere between the time he had begun to travel with them and now. Unfortunately for Kagome, she seemed to be the one he aimed it at most of the time. She supposed it made sense, as he wasn't close to any of the others- but, still. Right now, she almost would have preferred that he really didn't joke or play around like a normal person, the way she had thought he didn't before they began to know each other.
"Can I get up now?" She asked, pained.
"If you like." He released her hair and stood back. She stared helplessly at his knees.
"Sesshomaru!"
"Hm."
"Help me up!"
When she felt his hip against her ribcage and his arm wrapping around her middle, her relief only lasted until his hand landed on her breast. She balked.
"Stop helping!" He released her quickly.
"My apologies. It was quite unintentional."
Kagome tried to nod, but it made her head hurt.
"What do you suggest?"
"Grow another arm."
"That will take a considerable amount of time, I assure you."
"I feel like my face is falling off."
She felt his fingers brush her back and a tugging. He'd grabbed a fistful of the white yukata she still wore and was lifting her by it. As she came up off of the wood, her arms and hands flailed at her chest and waist, trying to keep the fabric from sliding off of her. Her legs dragged along the window as she was pulled through it. 'Great, now I'm dangling in the air instead of dangling out the window.'
"Bully."
"I could drop you."
"Bully!" Her hand pushed against his chest. She swung back and forth a little.
He lowered her to the ground slowly, and she made sure her feet and hands were under her. When he let the back of her yukata go, she climbed to her feet and adjusted it around herself self-consciously.
"You should be more aware of your surroundings, Kagome." He said absently, looking in the window at Rin and Shippou.
"I heard you! I just couldn't find you… and I didn't know it was you…" She rubbed her stomach. "Ow."
"Where is everyone? I didn't want to leave the kids alone." She asked.
"Sulking, I believe." The humor was unintentional, this time. He had well and truly meant the words- everyone seemed to be struggling with something or the other right now and he was no exception. Brooding. Maybe that would have been a better word. Taiyoukai don't sulk.
His words made her laugh. She rested her palm against his armor for a moment before pointing into the sky.
"It's really dark now."
"Yes. If the human is correct, the attack should come presently." Kagome nodded.
"The girl, Aki, left your clothing in the hall. Rin has already been dressed."
Kagome looked him over, noticing that his own attire was also free of the layers of mud that they had all trekked through.
"It's nice to feel clean, again."
"It is indeed. You should dress. That yukata is not the best choice for battle wear. Not that your typical choice of battle wear is sensible."
Kagome glared at him and flung a leg back inside the room. She straddled the ledge and tried shimmy through without too much discomfort.
"Do you require assistance again?"
"Don't you dare!" She pointed at him and finally got into the room, hop-skipping on one leg for a few steps before finding her balance. She gathered her clothing from the hall and stepped behind a tri-fold dressing screen to change. When she came out with the yukata folded, Sesshomaru reached his arm into the room, picked her shoes up from where they rested below the window and offered them to her.
"Thanks."
The door slammed open, startling Rin and Shippou awake, and Inuyasha filled the frame.
"Inuyasha!" She scolded.
"Come on. Everyone is getting together outside to wait."
He barely spared any of them a glance as he walked away.
Kagome gathered her bow and quiver, slinging them over a shoulder, and herded the smallest of their company out through the door. Sure enough, all of the rest had congregated near the gates of the compound. She jogged to the group and heard Sesshomaru directing Aki and Chiyo to keep Rin and Shippou on the steps of the main house with them.
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"Perhaps it would be wise to meet the attacker outside?" Sesshomaru gestured at the buildings and occupants that surrounded them. They all felt rather sheepish as he leaped over the wall without waiting for them.
"That's probably a good idea, actually." Sango agreed. She started up the ladder of the tower where Kuranosuke and the gate guards waited.
"Heh! It's not like we haven't waited for them to come to us before!"
"That is true, Inuyasha." Miroku smiled. Inuyasha looked smug and tucked his arms into his sleeves. "However, many villages have been damaged because of it." Miroku backed up a few steps and shouted up the ladder where Sango had disappeared. "Have them open the gates for us?"
"They're already working on it!" Came her reply.
Miroku didn't lower his head back down as she descended the ladder. He did walk quickly out of reach of her Hiraikotsu once she noticed, though.
The gates cracked open, and they made their way out to meet whatever had been terrorizing these people. The dark silhouette rose from the trees with a mighty roar and charged toward the gates. Miroku observed as the thing barreled toward them, and reached a hand inside his robes.
"This is no ordinary youkai." He said. "See how it moves through the trees?"
Sango sprinted forward and swung her weapon hard, using its inertia to aid her jump into the air. She twisted abruptly and launched the sharpened, curved bone at the bear's head. It struck hard, and the beast stumbled sideways.
"He's right." Kagome said hastily. "Look. Not one tree was disturbed."
"We have to-
"It doesn't matter. Hiriahotsu landed on it. It can obviously be fought." Sango's voice trampled over Miroku as she reached into the air for her weapon's return. The others moved away from her as it came close. She caught the strap and bent her knees as the force pushed her back a step.
Sesshomaru was far ahead of them all, nearer to the line of the trees and the bear youkai. He made no move to attack it or defend himself as it lunged at him. A swift jump and he landed closer to them.
Miroku pulled a sutra from the folds of his robes. It had cleared the trees and was only seconds from them, now. Inuyasha gave a great cry and ran at it, the transformed Tetsusaiga trailing along beside him. He shot into the air above its neck and brought the sword down hard, nearly cleaving its head from its shoulders. It fell.
"Well, that wasn't too hard. It was pretty weak." Inuyasha walked toward them casually.
"You don't understand!" Miroku yelled in agitation. "Inuyasha! Move!" A giant paw smashed into the hanyou, throwing him to the right, and he bounced across the ground hard.
Whisps of what looked like shadow or black smoke had woven the bear's head together as if nothing had happened. They flared around it as it rose back onto its feet slowly, snarling loudly enough to remind Kagome of a train car.
Sesshomaru's hand pushed at Kagome's back. "Shoot it."
"Huh? Oh! Alright."
Miroku took two wide steps away from the others, coming to Kagome's side. She nocked an arrow and pulled the bow taut. The beast took one mighty, menacing step forward. Its shoulders rolled as it did, blotting out the moonlight that fell on them. Then another step and Kagome could see Miroku reaching out to her.
"Wait." He smoothed his sutra on the shaft of her ready arrow. "It never hurts to double your advantage." He retrieved another sutra and she took aim. A spark of pink lit at the tip of her arrow and blue energy seeped from the sutra and trailed along the shaft..
A line of light streaked through the air, across their line of sight, from the right. It exploded and consumed the bear on impact, licking around the massive figure and reducing it to nothing in seconds. In the fading illumination of the arrow, they saw Kikyo at Inuyasha's side. His head was held in one hand, the other gripping the still transformed sword on his other side. The sight of Kikyo there, confident and sure of her place by Inuyasha's side- able and ready to defend him as an equal without needing prompting and without hesitation, it forced all of Kagome's insecurities to the forefront of her mind.
One arrow. Kikyo had dispatched the thing with a single arrow while Kagome had stood there like a gaping fish. The worst part of it all was that they looked nearly the same. It was like looking into a mirror, seeing everything that you wish you could be, and knowing that you could never live up to your own expectations.
She felt it in her heart that she'd never be able to be like Kikyo. Sure, she was moody and a little crazy… but she was strong and sure of herself and what she wanted. Even though she had her crazy stupid grudge against Inuyasha, she was still sure about her place as the most important woman in Inuyasha's life and she acted the part. Acted like he belonged to her. Wielded her holy powers easily and competently and without the fumbling that always accompanied Kagome's attempts to use her powers.
How could she ever hope to compete?
Watching as Inuyasha stood and turned his back to her so that he could meet Kikyo's eyes seemed so much like a visual statement of everything that hovered around the three of them that it shattered Kagome's feeling of detached contemplation. She spun on her heel with her heart aching from the emotions caused by the sight and ran back through the gates, hair fanning behind her, coming to a stop at the base of the guard tower. Her bowstring was still taut, the arrow pointed at the dirt near her foot. She leaned heavily on a support post of the tower.
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"Idiot." Kouga spat at the far off figures.
Inuyasha hadn't even looked back over his shoulder at Kagome, as if she didn't exist at all while he had that aberration in front of him. His nose crinkled in disgust. That thing wasn't human and Inuyasha didn't seem to care. How could he totally miss how much he disrespected both Kagome and Kikyo's memory by consorting with that mockery of whatever Kikyo had been?
Sango turned blazing eyes to him.
"I noticed that you didn't even move to try to help." He shrugged in response, looking over his shoulder to the opening of the gate, mind occupied with his own thoughts and not giving Sango more than a sliver of attention.
"It's pretty stupid to do anything that the mutt does." It was offhand and quiet, but that didn't make the sentiment any less true. He made his way through the opening, leaving Sango to her irritation. She spun to Miroku.
"If you knew that it was a shade, then why didn't you say anything!?"
He was calm as she yelled at him.
"Would you have listened?" He asked simply, his eyes boring into her own. This was exactly what he had been worried about. Sango was precariously close to erupting… or breaking. She needed some sort of outlet- soon. She just carried everything too close to her heart.
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Kouga stood behind Kagome and reached his arms around her. He grasped her wrists in his hands, and gently dragged them together, relaxing her bow. One hand slid down hers to the arrow and took it from her slack fingers.
He was slow and cautious in his movements as he felt the press of her back to his chest with every heaving breath that she drew.
His grasp on her other wrist was steady, and he replaced the arrow in the quiver by his leg. Its strap was hanging her from the crook of her elbow and it swung lightly from its perch there. The now empty hand came back up to join her bloodless knuckles on the bow, gently pushing his fingers under hers and transferring the weapon to his own hand. He dropped it into the dirt behind him.
He brought that hand back again, and pressed his palm to hers, intertwining their fingers as he finally released her other wrist. He squeezed her hand until she had caught her breath, and then released it so that he could turn her into his chest. Her hands came up to wrap around his elbows as a dry sob clawed its way out of her.
He pulled her shoulders closer and put his chin atop her bent head.
"He's an idiot." It only made her begin to shake in his arms.
Kouga slanted his eyes and looked at Miroku standing by them when he felt the hand on his shoulder. Miroku gave him a somber nod, and then completely shattered the humble persona as he removed his hand from Kouga's shoulder, squeezed the air with a grin, and shook a finger at him with an exaggerated frown. Kouga rolled his eyes at him. Miroku's eyes lingered on Kagome in a tender gaze as he strode past them. It wasn't missed by Kouga, though he was beginning to realize both that the monk cared for his companions q great deal more than he let on, and that the monk didn't seem to be aware how obviously his true self was beginning to show from between the cracks of what Kouga suspected was a very carefully crafted mask of nonchalance.
"I knew, you know." Kouga pulled back from Kagome's body a little and looked down, trying to catch her eyes.
"Knew what, Kagome?"
"I knew that she was here. I saw her soul stealers at the bath house." Her forehead hit his chest. If the armor hurt her, she didn't show it.
"He's an idiot."
"I think she's why he's been gone so much."
"He's an idiot."
"He's right, miko. Inuyasha's folly knows no limits."
Sesshomaru placed his hand at the small of Kagome's back and pressed his fingertips into her, coaxing her to turn.
"I will take her now, wolf." Kouga's hands went to Kagome's face and he brushed his lips across her reddened forehead. She hugged his waist. Once. Tightly. Then she turned to Sesshomaru's side and let the hand on her back guide her to the stables and out of sight. It was an altogether unpleasant experience, letting Sesshomaru draw her away from him. He wanted nothing more than to be able to comfort her, be there for her when she was so obviously upset.
But she went easily, and maybe that was even more unpleasant for Kouga.
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