author's note at the bottom, 3
She burst through the door like flood water with the living room light seeping in from behind, and right into a waiting Ultron. The ruby of his eyes staining the garage walls. His hand lingering as the wooden hatch slipped from his digits with a cruel bang. Simone's eyelids twitched at the harsh noise but never left the A.I across the room.
"Ultron." She breathed, charging towards him, enunciating each words in a faint whisper of air, "Ultron. Ultron. Ultron."
"What? For God's sake, what?"
He seemed disturbed, maybe curious? She could never make out tones well enough to notice fine emotion, but she hoped he was put off. She hopped the sight of numb, open eyes bothered him at a minimum. He needed to feel something besides angry, superior, or angry and superior, once in a while.
The woman's hands reached out like she was was going to grab his upper arms before she remembered what, or who, it was. They hovered up and and down, skittering along the space over Ultron's metal. She blinked and felt her throat clench in last minute regret and her hands snapped to her sides. She wanted to run, she felt vulnerable and suddenly unprepared. Simone swallowed, it was too late to back out now.
The woman swallowed one last time, plastering her hands against her sides, "I have- I have a question."
"For the love of-" He sighed, running a hand over his face, "What, Simone?"
Her arms cradled each other as she on gnawed her lip, it was now or never, "Did you blow it up?"
"You're going to have to be more specific," He said, head titling before laughing, "I mean, ha, I've got an commendable track record."
The noise that left her mouth was somewhere between a yell and groan, barely leaking past the back of her throat, "Just-Shit..Take this seriously, just once, alright?"
Ultron sobered, shifting his weight as the A.I's hands rested on his hips, left leg slightly skewed as his weight rested upon the right. It was a pensive stance, like greek statue meets dystopian cyberpunk wrapped up in a couple hundred pounds of asshole, "What happened?"
"27…27 schools, science centers,or whatever they are," She pointed. Ultron could be oblivious socially, but not when it came to something encompassing his personal safety. He busted her ass enough times to get that point across, and there was something very relevant and dangerous that usually went hand in hand with large scale terrorism: The Avengers,"Did. You. Blow. Them. Up."
The A.I snorted, shaking his head in disbelief or, well, she didn't know what. Like the woman was a child asking 'why' too many times. Maybe he thought she was slow for just realizing his involvement, like it was some sick joke, "Why is it anytime something bad happens you look at me?"
Simone's jaw dropped, he had to be kidding, right? The guy had a tenacity for trying to accomplish something with a big poof of fire and blood, "Yes or no, Ultron, it's that easy."
"Why would it matter anyway? Your-," He stopped, head bobbing side to side to try and find the right word before saying like it left a sour aftertaste in his mouth, "-'People' slaughter each other constantly, for petty reasons. Human's have a disturbing fetish for dynamite, don't they?"
"Yes or no!" She yelled. The robot looked her up and down, she felt small, smaller than normal. He was tense, just like her, and for some reason that wasn't much of a comfort. No, it wound her up like a string, making her wish she hadn't bull-rushed the robot. She needed a plan, her useless taser, or something.Why'd she even approach him? To clear her conscious, make breathing easier? Knowing he was blowing up colleges wouldn't change anything, he'd still do it, she was useless to stop him.
'Rat him out.' A voice supplemented. That'd be it. She could do it, there wasn't a doubt about it anymore. A stray email, a phone call during a grocery run, Ultron would never know. Simone wasn't above it, she had to remind herself it's not betrayal if the victim planned on killing you later. She'd given Ultron his chances, this would be the last. Her moral compass and emotional baggage wasn't worth the lives of close to eight billion people. She blinked from her scheme as the A.I leaning closer, hunched over so they were almost eye to eye.
"No."
She deflated, a coil of nerves in her shoulders unwinding all at once. Ultron noticed, stepping away, snarling the words with an indignant tint she barely caught, "Humans never trust."
The machine started pacing, circling her like a wolf to a sheep as she pulled harder on the polyester of her sweatshirt. He ignored it, ignored her refusal to move and kept turned harshly around her shoulder, "You always assume the worst, don't you? Finicky little insect."
He snorted, "You're looking for reasons, aren't you?"
Fingernails puckered the flesh of her palms as she forced herself to meet his gaze, "What do you mean?"
Ultron sighed, an angry, frustrated thing that was more like a rush of static than synthesized sound, "For anything! To find fault, to leave, to fight, to steal, to run away! Your minds work in infuriating patterns, Simone, and they're dreadfully predictable."
Her brow furrowed, the A.I talked like he was tired of playing a game, like he'd already been and done the whole 'dealing with sentient meat' routine, "Says who?"
"Says experience," He snapped.
Hurt. Simone wanted to throw up. She wanted to stab forks in her eyeballs drive off a cliff. Ultron knew people, really, genuinely talked to people before her. She remembered he vaguely mentioned it, an offhand comment she could tell by his rare silence he regretted mentioning. Simone ignored it, stupidly she realized, there was that hindsight again.
And for some, pestering reason, she didn't want to be associated with that. She didn't want to be marginalized with his limited pool of contact, Simone wanted to be… her to him. If only he hadn't quite literally called her every intention at that moment.
She eyed him, hovering slightly over her left, the red glow tinting the rich tone of her skin. Anxiety prickled in her spine, and swallowed. The woman wasn't nearly as terrified as she used to be. Clinging to the memories of teaching him, anything remotely palatable about Ultron, she settled for a half truth,"I was just scared."
"Of what?" The A.I had a very limited concept of personal space, and a very sour tone.
"Of getting hurt!" She defended.
"And?" He drawled, reeling the woman's excuse like a fish on the line. He wasn't dumb or easily satisfied, Simone already knew that. But it was unfair that he could harp about not being trusted but went around and didn't believe her answer, and a perfectly valid one at that!
"And I'm scared the Avengers would notice, aright!"
The A.I was painfully silent, leaving a roaring emptiness where his words should be. Ultron should be happy, she was scared of his number one enemy! Rejoice, goddammit, because she hated that it was true. Anything powerful was scary, anything scary should be avoided, it was sound logic that fell apart considering she was stuck around the literal harbinger of death, "I don't want them to know I exist, I don't want them to know you exist! I.. I" Simone's fingers latched into her hair, a calamity that was nothing more than a black tumbleweed of knots. She'd been to stressed to comb it lately, "I don't want them killing you, alright?"
See? She was only fifty percent selfish.
One beat, two beats. Her heart pounded to fill up the buzzing fog of silence.
"The drone is missing."
She gagged, a dry, pathetic gurgle of air that wretched itself free. She felt panic for a split second before a a numbing avalanche washed over her, drawing any feelings that fought to surface.
"A few weeks ago, before our," He paused, unsure,"arrangement."
The sign language. She'd been in danger this long? Was she already a public enemy for housing him? Simone wanted to damn herself for not going through with an email, a simple fucking email saying 'Hello, death incarnate is my roommate. Help.' If she didn't want to lose whatever peace or oddity they've forged, she wouldn't spend more than twenty sends fantasizing about ripping out his cables while he talked.
"It stopped reporting back, thought you'd like to know. It could be nothing, maybe it's traveled farther than planed to get what I need, who knows? That's… regrettably unlikely. I mean, haha, punctuality is key! Slovenly living is more you're forte, but maybe it was around your influence to-"
Simone's voice was barely a whisper, but it was still enough to silence him, "I'm going to die."
"Don't be dramatic," Ultron scoffed. The woman voted to ignore him and started picking furiously at her palms.
"Wasn't it a part of you?"
"At the time," He sighed, "You know my processors are damaged, they're already overtaxed."
"But that effected physical function! Not this! I-wouldn't be beneficial to stick had your brain in another body? Relieve the stress on your head or something?" She was practically yelling now, not that she'd admit it. Simone wasn't worried, no, there was no way that was happening.
"Neural decay is probably a more apt way to explain it, that's… relatable to you," He paused, rummaging through his mind, "Think ALS, Steven Hawking, slowly losing functionality as you rot away from the inside. For me, Simone, the only difference is that instead it being a genetic deficiency, parts of the drone body's drive decays, shutting down similarly, because they are overtaxed."
She was about to wretch, and this time there was no guarantee it would just be air, but she understood.
"You couldn't control it anymore."
He snorted, "Exactly. It became… Strenuous to maintain. Impossible out of a predetermined radius. Nothing a simple program could substitute for but, well, it's gone. Can't even find it on a GPS, mildly concerning."
The faux calm was beginning to ebb away.
Mildly. Mildly. Between him slowly dying in front of her and the reality that she very well might get killed in the crossfire a lot sooner than expected, it was something more than mild. But something stopped her from snapping, from yelling at him for his apparent peace with the situation.
Ultron didn't have to tell her that. He could've kept everything in the dark and let her writhe in agony indefinitely, but he didn't.
"Thanks."
"Call it courtesy." He rolled his neck as if there was a muscle to stretch. She still hated those mannerisms and how human they were, because he resented them so much, yet he walked, and talked, and got hurt, just like the rest of them. Just like Simone. She shoved that thought away, refusing to acknowledge it again.
"I'm gonna… I'm gonna go." She was so tired, still prickling with numbness, and turned for the door. Her world was fuzzy, thick, and rooted deep in her chest.
The woman sparred him one last glance, pretending it didn't bother her when he said in that teasing, superior way, smug like he knew an answer she didn't,'the enemy of my enemy is my friend'. She pretended not to notice when he told to have a good evening, and she pretended not to halfway mean it when she returned the favor; and she pretended not to worry when his arm seize as the door creaked shut, a sliver of warm light over the writhing fingers. Simone was getting good at pretending.
She hoped it would last.
Hey everyone, this took forever to write, im sorry. I was hospitalized and had to deal with several deaths in the family on top of art portfolio, act, and college applications. But now im back, if anyone is still reading this fic except regular updates from here on out, once or twice, or maybe even three times a week! I'm really excited with where I want to take this story and how my writing has changed over the time i've been gone. and thank you all so much for all the reviews while i was away. I'm still struggling with eating disorders and mental illness, but seeing your reviews and comments made me so happy and gave me that final push to start writing this with renewed.. vigor/passion.. which sounds incredibly cheesy lmao, but i love you all thank you.
as always! Please review/comment! I love hearing what you think! XOXO 3