AN: Prepare for a getting unlike any other, with unexpected and far-reaching consequences.
Rabbit karma Chapter six.
Stuart Hopps was a happy rabbit. It was the weekend, the weather was sunny and nothing was amiss. All he was doing was taking a little walk across the farm, enjoying the sights of his home and his children playing. All was well in his world.
"Growl!" *Crash! *
Sighing internally, the farmer lengthened his stride towards the barn the commotion originated from. He should have known better, with so many kits around the peace never lasted for long.
"Not too shabby, but instead of saying growl, it might be more realistic if you actually growled, brother mine."
Even more confused about what was going on, Stu opened the barn door wide, exposing a dozen of his kits in the low-to-mid teen range. Only two were girls, of the more tomboyish type, while the rest were boys. Ten of them were standing in a rough semi-circle, watching one male gnawing on a floored straw-dummy. The last one, whom Stu identified as sixteen-year-old Malcolm and the previous speaker, was using one of the family's film cameras on the gnawer.
"What in tarnation is going on here?" His words made up for their lack of anger with a hefty dose of bewilderment.
The sound of his voice immediately gained him the attention of everyone present. As Malcolm spun around, his face lit up with an honest smile. This soothed the nerves of the father of many, whatever his children were up to his son was at least convinced that it´s not something Stu would disagree with.
"Hi dad! It's good you're here, if you help out, it'll look much more believable!"
The farmer blinked. Twice. "Maybe if you tell me what you're up to, I might?"
Fourteen-year-old Marie pumped her paws in the air and all but yelled the explanation. "We're helping Judy pull a practical joke on some ah dem city slickers!"
Stuart Hopps was now surprised, pleased and relieved. Surprised, because his most fearless kit had never been one for pranks before. Pleased, because this meant that she was lightening up and had friends to pull a prank on. And relieved, because Judy was a sensible doe and would not take things too far.
"I'm pretty sure that if it's something Judy thought up, I can help you out with a clear conscience. So, what has she gotten you up to, then?"
Malcolm smiled widely and shared a giggle with his siblings, as he gestured for his father to follow him to a small folding table with a laptop, set up against the wall. "I think you´ll get the gist of it if you read this, it´s something Judy set up already. It´s the craziest, most devious thing I´ve ever seen!"
Intrigued, the older buck sat down in front of the computer and put on his reading galsses.
'Very well, let´s see what all the hulabaloo is about… hmm, wikipawdia, huh… some article about… "Hugbears?..." uhh, wait, what?"
Reading through the article, the elder buck felt his disbelief skyrocket, until he got to the end. Turning to Malcolm, all he could do was give his offspring a wide-eyed look and gesturing with both paws towards the laptop with spread-out fingers. Luckily, his boy understood the gesture, and answered with a mischievous look. "You see, dad, Wikipawdia is like a public encyclopaedia, meaning anyone can add to it if they have knowledge about a certain subject, and then others will critique it, adding their own knowledge or flat-out claim its false. This makes it more-or-less self-correcting, and gives you access to pretty much all knowledge of mammal-kind in one place. Of course, it's not flawless, and new articles may float around for some time before they´re either corrected or removed if they are wrong. Did you notice the name of the author, by the way?"
Stu blinked several times, again, while he took in and processed what he´d just been told. Then he turned back to the laptop, scanning the end of the article for the author: 'Judas Therion Doodson.'
'Judas…? What does that have to do with…? Wait, Judas, Jude, Jude the d… oh. Oh!' Turning back to his son, Stu now matched his kits devious looks with one of his own. "So, Judy asked you to make a video that makes this seem more likely, did she?"
His teenage son was absolutely giddy by now. "Yup, she called about an hour ago to tell me about this and asked if we could fake a sort of training montage. In hindsight, it should of course be something that the elder generation taught to their children, you know, so we learn the… proper ways."
Feeling himself be caught up in his offspring's mood, Stu took off his glasses and stood up with a grin from ear to ear. This was going to be great! He hadn´t had a chance to practice his acting skills since he was in high school!
(Little did Judy know that she came by her penchant for overacting honestly, if from an unexpected source.)
"Okay kits, gather around and let your old buck show you how it´s supposed to be done!"
Cheering ensued and much fun was had.
-RK-
An hour and a half earlier, Wilde Times, Zootopia.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAA!"
Finnick ´s large ears twitched, recognising the laughter as originating from his best friend. He found that strange; while Nick always smiled and seemed as happy as a clam twenty-four/seven, Finnick knew that it was mostly a mask, part of that "don´t let them see that they get to you" he had going on, and the red todd almost never let himself show how he truly felt. But now he was suddenly married, to a bunny of all things, and even if they claimed that it´s just a marriage of convenience Nick has now let off an honest-to-goodness belly laugh twice in the same day! And it wasn´t even lunch yet! Normally, the fox only let himself go like that when he had overindulged somewhat.
Letting his ears lead him, the fennec set out for the larger fox; they needed to talk anyway, finding out what was so funny was just a bonus. Soon spotting him, Finnick was just in time to overhear the last words shared over a phone call: " …call to my little brother Malcolm, this is just up his alley! Then I´ll go shopping for something suitable for dinner tonight, I´ll make sure to sell it to her. Oh, don´t forget to get Finnick in on it too!"
Nick seemed awfully happy, his tail sweeping back and forth and a wide grin on his muzzle. "Sure thing, Sarge! Don´t you worry, I will handle things on my end! You sure you´re not really just a very unusual vixen? You´re sure living up to the Wilde name!"
"Nope, sorry, just your everyday police-bunny, I´m afraid! Talk to you later, Nick!"
"Yes, because rabbit officers are a dime a dozen, right? See you later, Sarge."
Watching his old friend hang up with a happy grin, Finnick felt his curiosity skyrocket. Those two were up to something, all right. Time for some good ol´ third degree!
Walking up to the taller mammal, he got straight to the point. "Yo, Nick! Was´ this about lettin´ me in on what?"
"Hey, big guy! Those head-sails of yours serve you well, I see. Yes, we have planned for a getting, well earned and epic in scope, one for which your assistance will be of utmost importance!" As usual, the red fox was not easily flustered, but got right into it himself.
While the answer was unexpected, the fennec hoped he knew the target. "A gettin´, eh? Does that mean you heard a certn´ sandwich peddler we know was late t´day, again, for tha third time in two weeks!" Finnick had to take a breath and calm himself. "The guy don´t have a mean bone in i´s body an´ he´s great with tha costumers, but i´tda be sweet if bunny cop could scare im straight, ya know."
Nick seemed a bit surprised at first, to then scowl slightly and lower his face to rub his lower jaw in a thoughtful pose. "No… no, I didn´t know that, but…" A mischievous smile bloomed on his features. "…I do think you have the right of it." He produced his phone again and spent a moment to rattle off a text.
Finnick observed this with a deadpan stare and a feeling of slight disbelief. "So, who were ya gonna get if not our lazy-ass sandwich-seller? An´ what ya mean, I 'got the right of it'? Ya really think bunny-cop is gonna help ya with somethin´ like that?"
*Pling!*
Instead of answering, Nick checked his phone, smiled, and held it out to be read:
-Sure Nick, I´ll be by as soon as I´m done with shopping. 😉-
Finnick blinked. "Well… I guess she will?" He really didn´t know what more to say.
Looking far too pleased with himself, the larger todd put away his phone. "Indeed she will, and as for the first getting, weeeell, please tell me my house rules if you would." At the end, he seemed rather more serious.
Even if the seeming non sequitur surprised him, Finnick mentally shrugged and decided to roll with it. "Not much too em´, do your bit a´ de cookin´ an´ cleanin´, your room is yours and no one else´s an´ that goes for ev´ryone, ya clean up your own mess, try not ta be to much of a douche when others need sleepin´ an´ keep tha heavy duty stuff in tha basement an´ not cluttering up the rest of the house. Ain´t gunna hear me complainin bout none of it, since followin´ em is all ya charge for rent." He was very happy about the arrangement, truth be told, since Nick took his part of the utility bills from his pay at Wilde times it was all wonderfully hassle free. Not only did he get a nice, big house to live in with his closest friends, but he had a place to look after his pride and joy; his van. It was a sweet setup, the garage was pretty much his domain while the rest of the cellar was taken up by Honeys workshop and storage for all the junk she used to build her inventions. 'As long as she too remembers the rules, of course. Ya´d think she had ´nugh room for her crap.' He inwardly scowled at the thought before another hit him. "An´ since ya havn´t said otherwise, ah guess 'no collars in the house, or else' is gonna be on the list, yeah?" That was the kind of rule he could get behind.
"Absolutely, one-hundred percent." Nick looked very pleased to agree, too. "And since our favourite officer only asked for a place to stay as payment for all her help yesterday, I offered her the guestroom for as long as she kept to the same house rules as the rest of us. I mean, it´s not like anyone ever used it, and she seemed like pleasant enough company. But do you remember how you found us this morning?"
Finnick felt his ears practically snap back against his skull. "Not like ah´m ever gonna forget that! But… wait, hol´ on there…" His left paw came up to pinch the bridge of his nose as an annoying suspicion crept up in his mind. He had closed his eyes, but as he could all but feel Nick opening his mouth to speak he raised his other paw in a STOP sign. "Don´t tell me, ah can see it in mah´ head; ya opened tha door ta show bunny-cop her new digs, an´ it was filled to tha rafters with Honeys crap, yeah? An´ then you felt bad abou´ not holdin´ up your part of tha deal an´ offered her ya own bed, an´ her perantly knowin´ too damn much bout foxes refused ta take it from ya so you two somehow ended up charin´. Sound about right?" He dropped his paw from his muzzle and gave his friend a half-lidded stare.
The larger fox seemed duly impressed. "Very astute of you, my dear Wattshound. Now, do you agree that a getting is deserved? You live in the same house too, you get a say in this." Nick lifted an inquiring eyebrow.
Finnick waved it off with a paw. "Well an´ truly deserved, ain´t the first time she gone an´ pulled this shit. Jus´ tell me what Mrs Wilde have planned, ah wanna know if da bunny can live up to bein´ a vixen or not."
Nick grinned and told him.
"BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"
-RK-
Having finished her shopping, dropped of the groceries at home and collected a change of civilian clothes, Judy once more parked her cruiser outside the building that housed Wilde Times. As she slammed the door shut and locked it, she sniggered to herself as her shopping trip came to mind. Apparently, some of her items were not standard fare for rabbits and got her some rather peculiar looks from fellow shoppers and the cashier. 'Oh well, none of their beeswax.'
As she threw her bag of clothes across her back, she turned just in time to see Nick coming round the corner of the building.
She was pretty sure that no thought whatsoever was involved in what happened next. One moment she was standing next to her car, the next she had somehow crossed the space between them and had her fox in a tight hug, her nose in the ruff of his neck.
Feeling slightly chagrined at her own reaction, she looked up at her husband with a shy smile. "Hi, Nick."
-RK-
Having clued in Finnick on the plan for Honey to the fennec's great amusement, Nick spent the next hour just walking around his life's work, simply basking in the visitor's joy. When he had started up his amusement park, all he really had planned was to make a killing on the guaranteed attraction for predators to be free of their collars for a while, but the longer he kept it up the more important his guests joy became. It was almost like he could feel his very soul grow lighter day by day.
At the beginning, he had been prepared to take his savings and make a run for it if he had been discovered, but now he was ready to fight for what he had created. It was important.
*Beep beep beep*
Startled out of his deep thoughts by the alarm he had set on his phone, the fox made his way for a hidden service exit as he turned off the noise. It was time to meet up with Sarge for the planned intervention.
A sigh escaped him at the thought of the irascible bunny; the sudden spikes of emotion concerning her had started to even out. That was good. Possibly less good was how his feelings for her had evened out on a rather higher-than-comfortable level and showed no signs of weakening.
*Sigh.*
At least, his walk around Wilde Times had given him some time to think. The first thing he had done was decide that while he was far from a grizzled old grey-muzzle, neither was he a blushing teenager; he would examine his own feelings and thoughts honestly and leave denial a river on a far-off continent.
That said, his reaction at the first sight of her was puzzling to the fox. Sure, after he had gotten to know her better he might have come to at least like her, as she had proven in just a day to be kind, helpful and brave but no matter all she had done for him in very short order since, it did not explain his immediate attraction. Considering he had not ever felt so much as a twinge of desire for any mammal that wasn't a vixen, least of all a prey-mammal, the whole thing baffled him.
Wracking his memory for an explanation had yielded exactly nada, so he had instead tried to think it through logically which had awarded him a possible answer: Judy was by any standard physically strong, lean and fast; she was also knowledgeable, intelligent and clever. On top of that, she was fearless and had the sheer chutzpah to have both Honey and Finnick, two of the toughest and most contrary mammals he had ever met, pretty much standing at attention in terror.( The mental image still made him snicker internally.)
Had she been a vixen, that would have made her all but irresistible, so Nick figured his instincts had picked up on that and gotten his wires crossed straight across the species divide.
As theories goes, it felt rather flimsy to the fox, but short of some supernatural hijinks or some very sudden new predilection of his it was the best he could come up with. At the very least it could give him a reason as to why her presence in his den didn't trigger any of his normal fox instincts about intruders, it was all just so damn sudden.
There was also Judy herself to consider, did she have any romantic feelings for him? Or was her physical affections simply how any rabbit would behave if Mother nature passed them by when she was doling out a sense of fear? (As much as a fearless rabbit seemed like an oxymoron.)
... Which led him to the only logical conclusion; he didn't have enough information. But since the current situation was, if not strictly under control than at least not really bad, he would simply roll with it. When and if things changed, he would take it from there, hoping that he would know more at the time.
Feeling much more sanguine about life after that decision, he opened the door and stepped outside. 'Perfect timing, I see.' And indeed, the doe of his thoughts had just parked and locked her car, turning to catch sight of him...
'Oooff!'
...and then he must have blinked, because she suddenly had her arms around him in a tight hug, her face pressed against his neck.
So surprised was he, that he just kind of stood there, looking down on the bunny with wide-open eyes. At least until she looked up to meet his gaze, looking rather shy and embarrassed, far from her usual fearless go-getter self. "Hi, Nick."
Her quiet voice and the rosy hue around her eyes broke him out of his stupor, as his paws came up, one to hug her closer and the other to stroke down her long ears. With a chuckle, he marvelled at her abrupt change. "So, is this a thing now? This is how it´s going to be, sudden attacks of bunny-hugs, eh?"
She took half a step back, making him instantly miss the physical connection, but still leaving her paws gripping his shirt. "A ha ha, yeah I don´t know quite what came over me, I just saw you and then I was hugging you, I guess we´re still in the honey-moon phase, huh?" Her obvious embarrassment made it clear that, yes, she was equally surprised by her own actions.
Letting his arms fall to take her paws in his, the todd glanced around the large, empty lot. This was probably as much privacy as they were going to get. 'Suppose I might as well put all that soul-searching to good use, no time like the present.' The fox gathered his courage for his next words.
"Our honey-moon, yes, about that, is your current behaviour indicative of some tender feelings, or is it just how a rabbit without fear acts? Bunnies are supposedly gregarious mammals, and you proved that you have no fear of preds last night when you slept like a babe on my arm."
The bunny made a slight snort of disdain. "Like a babe? Most certainly not. In my experience, that means sleeping fitfully and waking up screaming in the wee hours of the night because you pooped yourself."
*Snort!* "Hehehehe…" Her deadpan delivery made it extra funny. The fox quickly gathered himself. "Okey, point! But! Don´t try to change the subject. Now tell me, Sarge, why is it that a beautiful and successful doe in her prime like you, is so eager to sacrifice so much to stay with a mammal, a fox, like me?"
She squeezed his paws, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked straight into his eyes and spoke with sincerity. "Thank you for the compliment, Nick, but I think you´ll find that my beauty and success is mostly seen as such from the perspective of a predator like you. No!" She held up her paw to silence him just as he opened his muzzle to protest. "I´m serious! Just let me explain, this might take a while, okay?" He still wished to raise his disagreement, but in the end he just nodded.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Okay, so, I decided that I was going to be a cop when I was just nine years old, and I have worked my whole life since to make it happen. The most basic requirement for that is physical, can´t be an officer if you can´t catch the bad guys, right? So I´ve spent a lot of time and effort into moulding my body and make it as strong and fast as possible." She gave a wry smile. "I think I made a pretty decent job of it, but unfortunately my slim build is pretty much the opposite of what most bucks want; they want a doe with far more curves that can give them a lot of kits, so as a bunny that is strike one against me."
The fox was flabbergasted. 'So what makes her so physically attractive to a fox like me is the same attributes that make her undesirable to a buck? Well well, you live and you learn.'
"As for my successful career, the majority of rabbits are happy to live up to, or down to as the case may be, any and all stereotypes about bunnies. Since I simply do not, I was considered a weirdo for most of my life. Rabbits are not police-officers, simple as that. So that's strike two against me."
To Nick, that sounded rather awful. All foxes knew how they were seen as untrustworthy thieves, so if one of them managed something better, none of them would hold it against him. Or her. On the other paw, you didn´t necessarily throw a fellow fox under the bus if he was forced to resort to underhanded methods to feed himself and his family; being stereotyped as an untrustworthy thief made it so darned hard to find a proper job, after all.
All that meant that most foxes only adhered to their stereotype for the sake of survival; most of them would never follow it if they had the choice, and anyone who did, well, they were just weird.
And Judy claimed that a majority of bunnies actively sought to follow their stereotypes. Unthinkable.
Unaware of Nicks thoughts, Judy continued her explanation, even as it more and more turned into a rant. "So, since I was a bony wierdo, most of my classmates considered me un-dateable. My parents and siblings noticed this and just had to help me get over this terrible hurdle; after all, finding a mate and have lots of kits is the most important thing to any real bunny! That meant that from when I was fifteen and a half, or there about, they somehow managed to set me up with a new date on average two or three times a month, for the next two and a half YEARS!"
Her near shout at the end had the poor fox almost jumping out of his skin. At least he had a good idea about how to handle the situation; pull the panting doe into a tight hug, wait until she reciprocated, then stroke her ears gently and mumble a few soothing words into them. He was uncertain exactly how he knew that, but he had her calmed down again in just a few minutes.
"Better now?" Hugging his bunny came more and more natural to him; she fitted in perfectly just under his chin if he just lowered his head a bit; like two pieces of a puzzle.
"Much better, thank you." And wasn´t that just the damndest thing, that despite all the physical affection she seemed more than ready to heap upon him, it was the little thank you that got to him most? Foxes tended to go without those smallest of courtesies between mammals, like please and thank you, so her offering it without a second thought hit him right in the feels.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, the fox scrambled for a new piece of conversation. "So, you went on an awful lot of dates in your teens, right? And you´re telling me that with all of those, you didn´t find a single good one?"
A slightly dark chuckle preceded her answer. "Not a single one. Told you I was considered un-dateable, so that filtered out a lot of the potentially good ones from the start. Then came the fact that my mother and sisters apparently think it inconceivable that what makes them happy with a buck is not the same things that make me happy, no matter how I tried to explain it. After a few months, I think they just set me up with anyone they could get their paws on, figuring that if they kept throwing bucks my way they had to find one that stuck. I guess they tried to mitigate their lack of matchmaking-skills with sheer bloody-mindedness." *Scoff.* "Didn´t work. Only three of those bucks ever even managed well enough that I chanced more than one date."
Keeping up the stroking of her ears, he let her rub her face into the scruff of his neck; he felt rather mellow too by now and wanted to learn more about his weird bunny. "Oho? Want to tell me about those repeat offenders?"
"The first one just wanted into my pants, he was one of the earliest dates. He fooled me a bit by burning all his manners on the first date, thinking he could demand a cash-in on the second."
"Why do I get the sense that he miscalculated?"
*Chuckles.* "Let's just say that he is lucky that we rabbits grow our front teeth our whole lives. The second one was a reeeeal smooth talker. So smooth, in fact, that halfway through our second date, he left with another doe on his arm." She lifted her head from his neck to look up at him, giving him a wry grin. "She was one of my sisters, a year older than me. She had no idea about the situation, so she was understandably distraught when she found out. She made sure that guy never had a chance with another doe in Bunnyburrow, spreading the word about what an ass he was."
"Ohhh, is that really acceptable language from a civic servant such as you?" The teasing grin came with a slow back and forth sweep of his tail. "So that's one slimy sleazeball and one smooth sleazeball. What kind was the third? Rough, pretty, rich, self-absorbed, all of the above?" His grin grew just a little wider. "Lemon-lime?"
The light slap to his shoulder came without a moment's hesitation. "Ha ha, fox, very funny. But I guess Andy, Andy Skippson, really was a pretty-boy. The only one I went on a third date with. I really couldn´t understand at first why he wanted to go on a date with me, we moved in completely different circles and I felt he wasn´t anything like what I wanted in a boyfriend. But on the other hand, he was easy on the eyes, easy to get along with, and he could actually carry a conversation for more than five minutes. He was such a pleasant break from my usual dating routine that I was happy to keep seeing him, if only to avoid the regular fare." Her face turned rather wry, again. "And then halfway through the third date, he started tearing up and confessed he only went out with me because he needed a beard, turns out he was too scared to tell his parents about his boyfriend."
Nick´s tail stopped mid-swing, his eyes popping wide open. "Whoa, plot-twist! Was there much drama?"
The doe shook her head slightly. "Nah, I never had any romantic aspirations towards him to begin with and he apologized so profusely; I basically gave him a big hug and told him I felt he was a great friend but a poor choice for a boyfriend; then wished him the best of luck with his paramour and offered to keep up the facade until he got things settled. Surprisingly, he told me he had been inspired by my drive and courage, so he had already made plans for coming out to his folks." She smirked. "Then there was indeed some drama, but last I heard, it had all come out all right in the end."
Still holding the bunny in a lose hug, Nick contemplated her story for a bit. It was surely interesting, but it led to more questions. "I can´t help but wonder why such a, uhm, self-reliant doe like you put up with all those dates for so long? Surely your family would have understood if you explained just how awful they were?"
*Sigh.* "Yeah, probably. But my going along with it was pure calculation on my part. I figured that if they thought I might settle down any day, they wouldn´t try to hinder my plans in any other way. Guess it kind of worked in the end, shortly after Andy I skipped off to higher education, and out of reach of the family for several years. Then I trained at the ZPA and joined the force right after, so no more dates for me."
His grip on her tightened a tad. "Are you okay with your folks? Any hard feelings?" He wasn´t even going to pretend that he was less than protective of her by now.
She looked up at him with a sweet smile. "Nope, I guess with me gone we have drifted apart somewhat, but there were never any harsh words and a big falling out. I suppose a certain estrangement is only natural, considering how different I am from the average bunny, but I still talk to my family on a regular basis." Then she surprised him by rising up on her toes and rubbing her nose against his. "Thank you for worrying."
The poor vulpine felt like his nose had gotten hit with a fox-tazer, his heart thundering as he went cross-eyed. Hug, nose-rub and another thank you. Triple whammy straight to the heart. His voice was somewhat hoarse and not entirely steady when the bunny backed off slightly. "So that´s why your single, I get it. But still, why me?"
He got a half-lidded stare in response. "You´re handsome and have a long, fluffy tail?" At his bewildered look, she looked him straight in the eyes and spoke with certainty. "Nicholas Piberius Wilde, you have your own company where you pretty much sell happiness, you share your home with your friends for the price of their share of the chores, and you were fully intending to give up your own bed just to keep your word to me." Her grasp around him suddenly tightened considerably. "I fully intend to hold on to you, because the odds that there is someone better for me out there are so astronomical that it´s not even funny." Suddenly, her courage seemed to escape her as she lowered her eyes and spoke much quieter. "If… if that´s okay? You… haven´t said anything about how you feel about this…"
The fox was… speechless. His mind churned with disparate thoughts, because this rabbit made no sense what-so-ever. Find a hangar full of uncollared preds? Just waltz right in.
Deciding to get a job that is impossible for your species? 'What is this… impossible you speak of?'
Finding loopholes in the law and screw over society as a whole just so you can do what you feel is right? Which time?
SHARING A BED WITH YOUR SPECIES ANCIENT PREDATOR? Snore fest. Literally.
But the possibility of his displeasure with her makes her go all timid and quiet? Really? Nick felt that the correlation between these things somehow flew above his head.
It was all just too much, he had received emotional shocks one after the other, to the point that all his usual barriers were in ruins and tatters. Nick Wilde decided then and there that this time, he would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; it´s not like his current mental state allowed for anything else, anyway. He reached out and gently cupped her chin in his paw, lifting her head until their eyes met.
"When I saw you in my office yesterday, my very first thought was 'Beautiful'! And wasn´t that a shocker? I can honestly say I have never thought of another species quite like that ever before. I was rather wary of you at first, I didn´t see how dealing with a ZPD-officer, a bunny, could end well for me. But then, you just… did your thing? All my worries about you? Unfounded! All my fears for my business? POFF, gone! And never coming back!" He paused for a moment to take a deep breath, before he continued in a lower voice. "You have done so much to make my life better in the last day that it boggles the mind, and you have asked so very little in return. I, who is used to receive scorn and hatred from all quarters, suddenly find myself craving this unexpected care and kindness you heap on me. You ask how I feel? I feel like I want to know how much better your continued presence can make my life. Stay with me?" So saying, he softly pressed his nose against the wide-eyed bunny´s.
A gasp. A pair of tears. A single, half-choked "Yes!".
At some point, they had both closed their eyes, and just stood like that for some time, nose to nose in each other's arms. Lost in their own little world.
'Should I have tried for a kiss? No no, don´t be greedy, fox! This is perfect as it is. For now.' Well, nothing lasts forever.
And so, with mutual regret, they finally separated, no matter how much their paws lingered together.
The fox was sporting a bit of a thousand-yard stare, though. The bunny took notice. "Nick? What's up?"
His expression did not change. "It´s just, did we just agree to give this weird marriage of ours a serious chance? Just like that?"
Her head tilted slightly in confusion. "Yeees? We communicated our feelings and wishes and agreed that we both wanted the same thing. Is that a problem? It is something intelligent adults does sometimes."
The vulpine snorted. "Not in my experience, they don´t! Especially not when it´s something this emotionally charged. Not that I necessarily want it, but where is the turmoil, the yelling and screaming, where´s all the drama?" He was serious; for some reason he could not understand himself, he had the feeling that no couple should get together in this painless a manner.
His wife did not seem impressed, giving him an even stare with her arms crossed. "That kind of emo waffling is for teenagers, just be glad we are too mature for that sort of behaviour. Nick, I grew up with more than a hundred sisters; drama for the sake of drama gets really old, really fast! Trust me on this one."
The absolute certainty in her voice calmed the fox right down. He took several deep breaths and ran his paws over his head and down over his ears. "Right, right, you´re totally right, don´t know why I freaked out like that. But still, even if you and I are fine with this, aren´t you worried about, I don´t know…" He made an all-encompassing circular wave with his paw. "…friends, family, colleges and the rest of the world? I don´t think many are going to be as accepting of our relationship, you know."
If he expected worry or doubt, he was sorely disappointed. She did not so much as blink as she held out a paw, fingers outstretched. "Okay, in order then: I´m a bit short on friends at the moment, so no worries there." She folded one finger down. "As for my family, they have proven beyond every shadow of doubt that their ability to identify a potential good mate is beyond abysmal. As such, they will accept my choice in the matter, and BE HAPPY about it, or there will be a… reckoning."
That last word made the vulpine freeze in a good approximation of a fox statue, his neck-fur standing at rigid attention. He had never known that such existential dread could be expressed in only three syllables.
Another finger went down. "I am pretty much a pariah at work already, through no fault of my own, so my esteemed co-workers can find a short pier and take their opinions for a long walk for all I care." A third finger, leaving only her index finger in the air. "As for the rest of the world…" She swept her paw to the side, as if she was swatting away a pesky housefly. "…meh."
The fox was astounded. The whole wide world, dismissed just like that? "Meh?"
Assured nod. "Meh."
Blink. Blink. Head-tilt. Shrug. "Meh."
Blinding smile… aaand a repeat of the bunny´s blink-and-you´ll-miss-it rib-bruising hug-attack.
The fox let out a shocked laugh, letting his arms come up around the bunny again. Then he let his gaze roam around the overgrown, mostly empty lot they were standing in; he needed to remember this moment. Finding nothing noteworthy, he instead looked up. Up, into a deep blue sky, not obscured by a single cloud.
Nick closed his eyes with a smile from ear to ear.
'Meh.'
-RK-
AN: Hoo boi, this was a long time coming. Some of it is Corona´s fault, in an ass-backwards secondhand way giving me lots of work and not letting me stay at home and write like some people. But mostly just because RL robbed me of my zeal for writing after I started so strongly.
Anyway, this chapter was supposed to end at the end of the day in story, but when I got this far I realised I was just about halfway and I was already at over 6000 words. Well, fuck that, this was a good endpoint, the rest of the day gets its own chapter.