"Pull up your socks, boys and girl, because we're robbing a bank," said Lisa.
"Whoa whoa whoa," Taylor said while she kept her eyes fixed on the television screen, game controller in her hands. Playing Mario Kart. In first place. Refuses to be distracted and let Alec win. Lisa resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her power. "That is not what I agreed to when I joined the Undersiders. I joined so I could be paid two thousand a month to veto jobs."
Alec burst out laughing, almost dropping his controller, and said, "Holy shit, can we do that?"
"No, we can't do that," said Lisa irritated. Coil would shoot her in the face.
"I don't see why not," said Taylor as she crossed the finish line. She stuck out her tongue and smirked at Alec. She finally deigned to pay attention to Lisa and said, "You told me the deal was that we would be paid two thousand dollars a month and that we get to choose to accept jobs that come along. Nowhere during your sales pitch did you say that we have to meet some sort of quota." Alec started up another game and Taylor returned her focus to the screen.
"Look, if we stop doing any work then the Boss will stop paying to have us on retainer," explained Lisa.
"Also, I can't support myself and my sister on two grand a month," chimed in Brian, her only sane teammate.
"Or take care of my dogs," growled Rachel, her less than sane teammate.
Taylor groaned in irritation as Alec passed her and replied, "Look, Lisa has the knowy thing power, right? So, we turn down jobs until the Boss catches on and while we are doing that we just have Lisa invest a portion of our pay into the stock market and have her use her powers to make us money. We could easily make ten grand a month each and nobody would notice since that is chump change."
"You just want me- OH GROSS!" exclaimed Lisa.
"What?" asked Taylor, "I need my hands free to play." She currently had a burger suspended in front of her face by spider string held up by a swarm of flies.
"You could have had your bugs use the controller!" Lisa said trying not to gag as she tried to get her power to shut up about how disgusting that burger was.
"Lisa, then I would get bug germs all over Alec's controllers. That would be gross and rude," said Taylor as if Lisa was being the ridiculous one here. Is fucking with me. No shit, power. No shit.
"Yeah Lisa, be respectful of other people's property," Alec said with a snicker.
Lisa felt a headache starting to grow that had nothing to do with her power. She decided to change the subject back to what they were talking about earlier. "You just want me to do all the work and get paid for doing absolutely nothing yourself."
Taylor let out a dramatic gasp, "Lisa, how could you?! I would never do that!" Is a lying liar that lies.
Lisa gave her a flat look, "You are so full of shit."
Taylor gave a sniffle and whined, "Brian, make Lisa stop being mean to me."
Brian sighed and said, "Look Lisa, Taylor actually has a point. Having you invest and manage our money is frankly safer and would make us more money than robbing a bank ever would." Great, now she lost her last teammate to insanity. What couldn't these people just be reasonable and help her rob a bank?
"Also, a lot less work," added Taylor.
"Look, the Boss really wants us to do this job," said Lisa.
Taylor rolled her eyes and said, "Well I really don't want to do it. Face it Lisa, it's a dumb idea. It would take you so much more effort to plan a bank heist then spend an hour a day managing our money. We could also do some easy jobs to keep our Boss happy if we really need to."
"Since I would be doing all of the work in your plan, why should I bother with you guys at all. I could manage money for myself just fine," said Lisa, annoyance coloring her voice.
"Don't be greedy Lisa," scolded Taylor.
Alec nodded and said, "Lisa, there is no I in team."
"You guys are the worst," groused Lisa. They really are.
Taylor huffed, "Look we would be your bodyguards okay? If anyone tried to fuck with you, we would keep you safe." Thinks that you would never be in any danger and all she would have to do is sit around and play video games. Doesn't know that Coil is a total douche bag.
If Taylor had bothered to look at Lisa she would have seen the ominous vulpine smile appear on her face. Lisa said in a sickeningly sweet voice, "That is great plan, let's do it." If Coil came knocking she would just blame all of this on Taylor. Totally fair.
"So, dork, you thought of a cape name yet?" asked Alec, since the subject was clearly over.
"I was thinking Tailor since I can weave webs and shit. Also, that way I wouldn't have to bother remembering it," replied Taylor, causing Brain to facepalm.
As Lisa watched Alec and Taylor high-five she thought, 'Thank God those two are too lazy to ever breed with each other.'