Chapter Four:
Weeks passed. Dean awoke each morning and worked the farm. He hunted at night, killing all monsters that strayed across his path. He drank himself to sleep.
Through it all, he was numb.
So when the Queen's only kin – her brother and Prince of Heaven himself – arrived at the Winchester farmhouse, Dean could not have cared less.
John and Dean stood at the doorway as Prince Chuck rode towards them, followed by his Royal entourage.
When the Prince laid eyes on Dean, he smiled and dismounted from his horse. He was a pompous little fellow. "The rumors are true, I see. There have been tales of a hunter as handsome as he is strong, as righteous and true as any mortal can be. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Dean."
Dean shook Prince Chuck's hand and had to hide his disgust at how sweaty it was. "And yours," said Dean.
"I suppose you're wondering why I've come to call."
"Not really," said Dean shortly, and the Prince grimaced slightly. He was used to being worshiped, not brushed off. Still, he pressed on as though he hadn't heard the hunter.
"You may have heard that my sister – Queen Amara – has taken ill. It is unfortunately true, and I fear the worst. Though I'd much prefer her return to health, I have to face the possibility that I will soon inherit the kingdom. And I have come to the conclusion that to instill the proper respect and admiration of the people, and to ensure my own happiness and safety, it is time that I married."
Dean felt his frustration growing. "No disrespect, your Highness, but I still don't know why you're here."
"I want to marry a mortal to further progress the relations between my kind and yours. You, Dean, are the very best of them. A righteous man, a skilled hunter, and from looking at you, probably a pretty good lay."
John Winchester coughed uncomfortably, but Prince Chuck paid him no notice. "Will you make me the happiest of cosmic beings and be my partner and husband?"
Dean looked Prince Chuck over. He was not much, but Dean supposed he could do worse. His heart was not in it, of course. John whispered to his son. "It is up to you, Dean, but it may be...unwise...to refuse him. Godly creatures are not above petty revenge."
Dean sighed. He would not risk the safety of his only family, and since his own happiness was already out of range, he felt apathetically resigned. He met Prince Chuck's gaze. "I can be your husband, Prince Chuck, but you must be aware that I can never love you."
Chuck shrugged. "Not to worry, love is the last thing I need."
And so in just a few days, Dean had moved into Heaven's castle and prepared to become royalty.
What with one thing and another, three years passed. Prince Chuck arranged the details for a grand wedding, though Dean spent very little time with the man that was to be his groom. He was less likely to get on his nerves that way, although occasionally Dean still found his behavior grating. Especially when he forced Dean to read the stories he wrote, and Dean didn't have the energy to tell him that they sucked.
Dean's only joy now was riding alone through the countryside on Baby, whom the Prince had allowed him to bring to the Royal Stables.
One morning, while Dean was riding along, he ran into two men along his path. He dismounted to greet them.
"Hello," he said.
"Hello, boy," replied one of them, with an accent Dean couldn't place. "I'm Crowley, and my friend here is Benny. We've been trying to settle a bet, do you think you could help?"
"I guess so," he said.
"If a hunter falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does his body make a sound?" And then Crowley's eyes flashed black.
Dean was lightning fast in pulling out his Demon blade, and he easily could have fended off the two scoundrels, had it not been for the third he never saw coming.
A giant fist swung towards his face and made contact. It was a powerful punch that damn near spun his head around. He stumbled back, vision blurred, and he heard hooves galloping away. Baby had been frightened into running.
And then a second punch connected and the world went black and empty.
Dean awoke with a pounding headache, his hands tied behind his back with rope. He was on a boat, in the middle of a smooth sea, with his three captors. Now the one that had taken him by surprise was sitting right in front of him, staring.
He was indeed a giant of a man, legs and arms that went on for ages. He had luxuriously long hair and kind eyes, oddly enough. "Sorry about punching you, man. But you know, that's the job."
Dean sighed. "That's comforting."
Dean looked around. The one called Crowley was staring out at the sea and paying him no mind. Benny was cleaning his teeth, which protruded very sharply from his mouth. So a demon, a vampire, a giant and a human board a boat. It sounded like the start of a bad joke.
"So, which one of you idiots is in charge here?" Dean asked.
Benny let out a booming laugh. He jerked a thumb in Crowley's direction. "That's him."
Crowley looked over at Dean with a scowl. "You'd do well to mind your tongue, if you don't want me to rip it out of you."
Dean was far too used to demon showboating to be intimidated. "I just want you to know that, in the unlikely event that I don't break free and kill you all, Prince Chuck will find you and do it anyway. He may be a little self-centered, but he is a powerful being who won't take too kindly to the kidnapping of his future husband."
Crowley smirked. "We shall see about that."
Several miles away, back on land, Prince Chuck was indeed in a rage. Baby had returned to the castle, alone and frightened. Hanging loose on her saddle was a patch of fabric that appeared to have been ripped during a struggle. "Do you see this?" Prince Chuck said loudly to his entourage. "This cloth is sewn in Hell's fabric and smells of sulfur. It seems that the Kingdom of Hell has abducted my groom."
The Count, The Prince's right-hand man, said, "We must set off at once to rescue him."
Prince Chuck nodded in agreement. "If Dean is at all harmed, there will be Hell to pay. No pun intended."
But of course it was.