I Told You That No Matter What I'd Be By Your Side,
But When You Walked Out The Door A Piece of Me Died.
Then They Took You Away, Stole You Out of My Life.
You Just Need To Remember That
I Will Love You Till The End of Time,
I Would Wait A Million Years.
Promise You'll Remember That You're Mine.
She could feel him before she could ever see him, and Aiko meant that literally. He usually crept in during the dead of night, his calloused hands wrapping around her while she was half asleep, or he would brush strands of hair behind her back and inhale her scent in the crook of her neck while she cooked. Little moments such as that, which had at first startled her, had become her most treasured memories. The most alive she had felt in her incredibly mundane life.
He never really said much, but he was always there. Always listening. Seeking solace in the warmth of her embrace, a feeling of contentment when she ran a hand through his hair soothingly, telling her stories of the store. How well it's rebuilding was coming together, and how much she just loved to sit there sometimes and watch him. He didn't even hate it when she woke him from his dreams, memories of that night as a child, and soothed him by caressing his cheek. Saying nothing.
Because she understood, she just knew that talking was unnecessary with him, and unwanted. No words of wisdom or comfort could calm the thirst for revenge, or the storm of hate in the recesses of his mind, nothing ever would. Not even her love. She knew that. And for that, he loved her. But he wouldn't dare to say such things, never out loud.
She never knew exactly when he would visit, but she could always count on at least twice a month, three times if lucky. Though she supposed it depended on how occupied he was with his work, which she preferred to never ask about. In that sense she liked to believe that ignorance was bliss. She found him to be this magnetic hybrid of everything that was dark and beautiful in the world. Every miniscule detail that caused pain and fear, and every little contribution to make natural things such as sunsets to be so mesmerising, had willing flowed into him. She could feel them both in the way he held her, and see it in the way his forehead creased while asleep and the way his lips softly pressed upon her skin as if she were an incredibly fragile sculpture.
To her, something as beautiful as Sasuke Uchiha had no place in this world, but was lucky enough to get a glimpse at him. A fire as bright as him was never intended to last. And it scared her.
Which was why, when the inevitable happened, she was too afraid to even look at him.
"I can't resolve whatever problem is bothering you unless you speak, Aiko."
She looked at him from her spot by her sink, the sleeves of her shirt rolled up as she leaned against it, watching him eat quietly at her pitifully small dinner table. He wasn't even looking at her, and instead his eyes were cast down to the table, barely making a sound as he chewed on his food. He liked her Nigiri the best apparently, though never actually claiming that, it was the only meal he ever really finished eating, and at an alarming speed. So she made loads, filling his plate up with it, and he never uttered a word over it.
She shook her head of her irrelevant thoughts, wrapping her arms around herself, as she stood straighter. Though she always felt so small in comparison to him, and not just physically. His presence made her feel as if hers was barely noticeable.
"I- I … I've been trying to find a way to say something, but I was always so afraid-"
"You don't need to be afraid, I'm here." His words cut through her own, and were cold, yet she knew the meaning behind them. She knew from the start that Sasuke would never be comfortable with words of any sort.
Nevertheless, his interruption had irritated her, and the next time she spoke there was more bite in her tone.
"Like you were back at the store? Stop interrupting me. You asked me to tell you what was wrong, so let me finish speaking."
He stopped eating then, coal eyes finally focusing on her and listening, really listening. He placed his chopsticks on the table, hands resting on either side of his plate. He took in the deep frown on her face, and the creases of worry on her forehead. How she almost couldn't fully look him in the eye, and how she seemed to be shying away from him. She was afraid of him.
"Sasuke, I- …. I'm having our child."
The silence that took over the both of them was so incredibly painful for her to endure, especially seeing no reaction on his face. She hated how unreadable he was, and it scared her more than anything in that moment. She tried to swallow back the lump in her throat, and blink back the tears as he continued to do nothing but stare.
"Please, please tell me that this isn't bad news. I kn- I know you have other priorities, and I understand. But please, please tell me you're happy. I need you to tell me that you want this, that we're going to be-"
She was interrupted with his abrupt standing, the legs of his chair screeching back as he walked briskly towards her in long strides. He placed his hands on the sides of her head, and placed a kiss on her forehead. His lips lingered there for what felt like hours to her, her hands grabbing small fistfuls of his robes.
"The only thing I will ever ask of you Aiko, is to never fear me, and never to fear telling me the truth."
She nodded silently, no longer trying to hold back the tears that had been beginning to be released, and closed her eyes when his lips kissed the tears streaming down her cheeks. Whispering soft and sweet things to her, things she had never thought he would have uttered from his lips, but was sharing with her at such an intimate and fragile moment.
And he did what she never thought he would have, he uttered the words she had yet to hear from him in their year together.
"The woman I love is bringing our child into this world. You will not be afraid, not anymore."
When Aiko had finally accepted that Sasuke was gone, it had been four months after that evening. He'd only returned twice after, barely even present for her Morning Sickness, which she believed should have been renamed to All-Hours-of-the-Day Sickness. But he had attempted to be there, and despite not knowing just what Sasuke did in his time away from her, she guessed that she had pretty much been a secret from his other life.
She ran through those times in her mind, trying to find an irregularity in his behaviour, trying to find the moments where he may have been pulling away. Her paranoid and emotional mind had been insistent on it, because he wouldn't just leave. He wouldn't do that to her.
Yet here she was, sat on her bathroom floor as she sobbed, admitting to herself that he wasn't returning. That she'd lost him. One hand caressed her slowly growing stomach, the other covered her mouth to stifle the loud sobs as if there was anyone around to hear her. The worst scenarios of how he could have died swept through her mind, what his last thoughts could have been, and if they were about her.
She knew the risks, she knew what she was getting herself into the moment she chose to love a man like himself. She knew she'd probably have to eventually live a life without him. The vendetta he held against his brother, or the criminal life he lived, those were paths she could never follow him down, and she knew he'd die from one of them eventually. She just hoped he'd get to hold their child at least once. That she could have that image of the three of them together in her mind at least.
She'd made the mistake of loving a man who couldn't be loved, because he didn't want to be, not right now at least.
"I'm sorry," she whispered quietly, through her sobs as she bowed her head towards her stomach, the tears streaming uncontrollably, "I'm so, so sorry."
The high-pitched wailing could be heard throughout the entire street, and at such an early hour in the morning Aiko momentarily wondered how no one had complained about the noise to her yet. Though, she supposed, there was no way to silence a screaming new born, much less one suffering from Colic. Tears streamed down her face as she held onto her son, the bundle in her arms hadn't stopped for over five hours.
As it breached dawn, Aiko had collapsed to the floor, still attempting to soothe her little boy. She had gone past the point of exhaustion, and stress, and as her own silent crying increased, she wondered if her life could possible get any worse.
Colic was not a term she had been familiar with until she took Takeshi to the Doctor, his screaming and insistent crying had been abnormal from the start. At first she feared there may have been something severely wrong with him, some pain that she couldn't relieve him of, or some illness that had no other telling other than his constant screaming. There was no cure for Colic, since it wasn't necessarily an illness either. At best, all she could do was attempt to soothe him back to sleep, which took hours.
She looked down to her son, small face red due to his wails, chubby cheeks soaked in tears. Even then, however, despite it being so early on, she couldn't help but choke back a sob in pain due to his uncanny resemblance to his father. His raven hair had just begun to grow, but the rare times his eyes were open it revealed dark obsidian pits that made Aiko feel like he too was staring into her soul.
She attempted another strategy, and returned Takeshi back to his crib as she attempted to rock it gently. Only the screaming seemed to intensify, at least to Aiko, ears ringing and head throbbing from the severe lack of sleep from the moment he had been born.
"I don't know what to do! I don't know how to help you, just please stop crying!" She sobbed out, though her voice was barely audible through his screams.
She collapsed beside the crib, still using one hand to gently rock it as she cried uncontrollably. Both mother and son, unable to keep their tears at bay in the dead of night.
A knock at the door momentarily startled her from her crying, and she sat there staring into the hallway confusedly, certain that she had only just imagined it. Yet another few taps at the door convinced her otherwise, and almost dazedly she stood, picking Takeshi up once again and holding him closely to her. His screaming paused for a moment too, but Aiko knew better than to release a sigh of a relief, because as soon as he settled into her chest his wailing returned quickly.
She dragged her feet towards the door, her sore body crying in protest but the curiosity to who could be at the door pulled on her.
It was her neighbour, Chimi, a frail old woman who had lived on her own and owned Aiko's small apartment. Aiko had prepared herself for this moment, had her apology and plead for forgiveness ready for when Chimi would knock on her door and state that the noise was unacceptable. Instead, to Aiko's surprise, the woman looked at her in sadness. Her wrinkled face taking in Aiko's tired and red one, noticing the tremble in Aiko's lips and the redness in her eyes.
"Are you okay, dear? Do you need help?" Her voice was low, as if she had been awoken from her own sleep.
The guilt consumed Aiko, but the relief overtook it and flowed through her uncontrollably. Her shoulders sagged and her sobbing returned, and all she could was nod vigorously at Chimi's question as she stepped aside to allow her in. Barely able to vocally express her gratitude as Chimi took Takeshi from her arms, encasing him in her small, frail ones expertly. As if she had done this her entire life, softly patting Aiko's shoulder as she turned her back on her, and slowly walking towards the bedroom.
"Rest, dear." Her voice drifted from the down the hall way, "God knows how much you need it."
She barely managed to make it to her small couch, collapsing onto it face first. Yet she couldn't find it in her to sleep, she could still make out Takeshi's screaming, and the guilt of sleeping without him having any rest kept her wide awake. So, instead, she just lay there in her exhaustion. No matter how tired she may have felt, she undoubtedly knew that her son was twice as tired, and it made her heart hurt.
Just like every other day, she sat there and wished for the impossible. She wished for the one thing she knew couldn't have. She wished he was there, with her.
"Ehhh, Sasuke, this place is a dead end. Why would you bring me here?"
Naruto grumbled, bright blonde hair glistening in sweat due to the heat. It was the middle of summer, and despite the season being a time for everyone wanting to be outside, the village was still just as Sasuke remembered. Quite.
He ignored Naruto's comment, walking past the restaurant he was so familiar with, yet now it seemed so foreign. The layout had slightly changed, but the clientele and staff hadn't. The small space of it all had allowed him to see completely inside, and his stomach dropped slightly at the realisation. She wasn't here.
"We stopping to eat? I'm starving! Do they do Ramen?"
Sasuke continued on, casting his head down as he followed the familiar path towards Aiko's apartment. He heard Naruto mutter once more under his breath, only by this point, after everything they had endured together in the past year, fighting was no longer a commonality. Sasuke had agreed for Naruto to join him on his travels, yes, but under the condition that he didn't nag him for conversation. His left hand was tucked into his pocket, in the six months since he and Naruto had left Konoha it had almost healed.
He'd never admit it, but he was actually almost nervous. It wasn't that he was afraid of the reaction that Aiko may have, but more so that he was aware of the cruelty of what he had done to her. However, he reasoned, it wasn't as simple as him and Aiko living happily together and beginning a family. When she had told him, he had still had so much left to do, so much unfinished business. He couldn't drag his lover and child around for years while he searched for his brother.
Aiko's news had more or less kicked him into gear, had awoken him from a slumber he didn't know he was even in. He had to kill Orochimaru, and then his brother, and finally he would be free to live out his life as he pleased. With Aiko.
Only he should have known things wouldn't have been that easy, that killing Itachi would unravel far more secrets that he wouldn't be aware of. That he couldn't truly leave Konoha behind him, or Team Seven. Especially Naruto. He had to sort his affairs into order, and it had taken far longer than he anticipated. Two years longer to be exact. His chest ached, though an emotion like that was difficult for him to acknowledge. He had spent so long pushing out emotional pain, that upon Aiko entering his life he was almost afraid to admit it existed. The thought of losing her was too much to bear, so he was obligated to leave her out of this. To take care of everything else, and then return to her. So that she could remain safe, and happy.
He wondered if she'd even accept his return, if she would welcome him with open arms or turn him away. He had planned to have returned before their child was born, except now he had missed out in almost a year of their child's life. Was it a boy? Or a girl? He always thought that he'd want a boy first, to begin the Uchiha Clan with the correct heir. Only now he found himself not caring, it all seemed so inconsequential now. He simply wanted at home once again, with Aiko and with their child. Hopefully, Naruto could be part of that too.
And now, with Kakashi pardoning him, he was free to return to Konoha. He didn't plan on doing that without her.
"Where are we going you bastard?! And I swear, if you give me the silent treatment again I'll-"
"Just shut up and follow me, idiot. There's someone I want you to meet."
Luckily for Aiko, her day off from work had actually been just that. With Chimi taking Takeshi for the afternoon, and with most of the apartment already clean from the night before, all she had left was to clear Takeshi's toys away and she could actually get some sleep.
His first Birthday was only a month away, and to no surprise of hers – considering who his father had been – he had already began learning how to walk. It hurt her to admit, but she was already beginning to see glimpses of his personality resemble that of Sasuke. He didn't throw tantrums, or cry a lot – after those first three months with Colic he actually began to calm down in demeanor.
Now, whenever he felt he wasn't getting his way, he simply glared at his mother silently. Instead of it being threatening or infuriating, however, it only made him more endearing. Since the baby fat was only just beginning to slip away from his cheeks, but his dark eyes always seemed to hold a boredom with his Aiko whenever she refused him something he wanted.
And whenever he didn't want to eat whatever meal she had made, he'd simply turn his head away in defiance, thin lips pursed. It actually astounded her how quickly he had accumulated a personality such as that, but with a talented ninja for a father, she guessed she shouldn't have been entirely surprised.
Her chest still ached at the thought of him, and at night she still sometimes quietly wept. He'd left a gaping hole that she knew would never entirely heal, not with his carbon copy walking around that she loved so dearly.
A soft knock on the door pulled her from her musings, and she picked up the last of Takeshi's toys before she made her way to the front door. One hand free as the rest carried all his teddy bears and plastic horses. She blinked away tears that she hadn't realised had begun pooling at the corner of her eyes, and readied a smile on her face for whoever was waiting on the other side. Chimi, most likely, she may have forgotten one of Takeshi's binky's.
She opened it, ready to force a laugh at whatever she had to say, only when her eyes locked onto dark ones her hands dropped the entire contents of Takeshi's toy box onto the cold floorboards. Her breath remained hitched in her throat for a moment too long, unable to understand whether she was hallucinating, or if she was actually seeing the man on the other side of the door. She shook her head in disbelief, taking a step back and almost stumbling.
He didn't smile, or show any visible emotion, not that she would have expected anything less under usual circumstances. His eyes, however, were different. Not both obsidian like she had originally thought, one was different pattern, a completely different colour. Dark grey and in several ringlets. Yet despite that, despite looking into those eyes, he didn't even flinch. Instead, he just breathed out her name, as if it had been the first time in a long time that he had said her name.
She said nothing for several moments, not even registering the blue eyed blonde behind him, who had slowly begun to realise exactly who this girl was to Sasuke. Naruto's mouth seemed to widen with every second in mere shock at the thought that Sasuke would have been romantically involved with someone. Involved enough to want to come and find her.
Sasuke took in with mild distaste the new frown lines that appeared on her face, along with the bags under her eyes. She looked worn out, almost broken, and his stomach dropped in guilt at knowing it was because of him.
He didn't know what he had been expecting, but a harsh slap across his pale skinned cheek was definitely at the bottom of the list of reactions he expected from Aiko. His face barely moved, as he was used to far more damaging blows than that, but the shock still remained, the only telling of that was the slight widen of his eyes. Naruto, however, wasn't as subtle, verbally voicing his shock in a mild shriek as he looked from Aiko to Sasuke.
She slapped him again, on the opposite cheek, and this time with more conviction. He watched as the anger began to seep out of her, as her eyes began to well up, and let her repeatedly hit him. He owed her that much. Her slapping soon turned into thrashing on his chest, both of her incredibly small fists beating down on his chest as he looked down to her slowly soaking face, towering over her. Yet for the first time she didn't appear to be intimidated by his height. No, just angry.
"I thought you were dead!" She said repeatedly, between every blow.
"You let me think you were dead! You left me on my own, with- without even a goodby-bye! And you let me think I had lost you!" She cried through her tears, her blows becoming half-hearted as she let the heartbreak take over, and Sasuke did nothing but silently take it, knowing the damage he had inflicted.
Apologies, especially in front of company, were not his area of expertise. He waited until her blows became pitifully weak, and just before her knees buckled he took hold of her, supporting her weight as she fought against his chest and cried. His heart dropping to his stomach, and the foreign feeling of it startled him. Was this was guilt, or sadness, felt like? Would he consistently feel this way until he had repaired her own heart? If so, he was willing to try. Because only know did the gravity of the situation settle in. He had broken her.
Heeeeeey guys, I'm back! So I know I said this would originally be a two-shot, but that didn't actually go to plan. I think it might just end up being a short story of about 3 or 4 chapters. I think it'll just end up being three though. But I hope I've still got you guys engaged in terms of characterisation, I've attempted to keep Sasuke as in character as possible, but if I haven't please let me know! I was surprised with how well responses for this were, so I hope I haven't lost that from you guys!