III
Reflection

Maybe there is hunger in my blood,
screaming out loud for what I want.
See me running full speed at it
...now it's do or die.

+.+.+.+.+.+

- Minami -

He made her so furious!

She could feel his eyes on her again, as they almost always seemed to be. It was like he was always watching. Always waiting.

Did he know? There were times she was convinced she had him fooled and then there were times when she wasn't so sure. He was frustratingly hard to read.

But those eyes. They were so cold and calculating, so distant and ruthless.

If only they weren't. If only he always looked as he had up on the Ferris wheel after kissing her. Then maybe he could see. Maybe he could understand.

Maybe he could stand aside and let her live the life she wanted most.

People like him were the reason she couldn't live a normal life.

Even if he stands aside though… anger and want stirred in her chest as her ghoulish appetite spoke. Him being here at all ruins everything!

Because when he was close, when he was watching, she could hardly contain herself.

He was so incredible, that she just had to have him and pretending that she didn't was so frustrating and difficult.

She couldn't wait to take him on. To feel the pleasure of consuming the life from him. To take him in as part of herself.

It was such a risk…she could end up dead…but it was worth it! There was just no way she could ignore his intensity!

Especially not now. Now that she'd had a taste of him.

Her heart thundered savagely in her chest as she thought of the moment. The moment she could sink her teeth beneath his skin and his taste flowed into her mouth until there was nothing left of him but what had become part of her.

She sighed softly, fighting to keep her expression from betraying her and she turned her head to meet his eyes, feeling the flush of desire on her face.

She resented him for doing this to her, but she also loved that he had.

Her most human side whispered things too…sweet, beautiful things. Whispers she desperately wished were stronger. Things Arima also managed to call to.

She liked that she had brought life into his eyes. She liked watching him experience new things. The wonder it brought him. She liked the way he spoke and the things he spoke of. That attentive, inquisitive way he sometimes stared at her.

She enjoyed her time with him and Fura-kun. She liked pretending they were all human.

She wanted to bring the life to him, she wanted to destroy him, and she wanted to make him part of her.

She hated him, craved him, and adored him.

And the fact that she couldn't possibly satisfy all three of those desires made her angry.

She wanted all of it. A simple, normal life, Arima to be part of it, and also for him to pay for being so willing to take it all from her.

Fura-kun whistled when they walked up to him, shaking his head.

"Whoa! You two must be miserable."

At least this boy was more straightforward. He was vengeful and she understood that. Her feelings for him were simple. He was endearing, but also expendable.

If she had to, she was willing to put his life on the line to get to Arima. She had a feeling she was going to have to.

And then her misery would end. Arima would be part of her, hidden away where he could no longer torment her.

Never to look at me or speak to me again, she thought as her chest constricted sadly, contradicting her venomous anger.

"Not entirely miserable," Arima said from beside her. "It was an experience."

She looked up and his eyes met hers briefly before his attention was on Fura-kun again.

She flushed and her fist clenched as she held it over her chest, where her heart had ridiculously begun to pound harder.

What her appetite wanted was easier to handle, but what her humanity felt was its own kind of torture.

And it disappointed her how little say it had. The thing she wanted most…to live a human life, was something Arima reminded her she couldn't really have.

That she was only playing.

He called to every side, and the ghoul — the creature she truly was — would win.

And it will be glorious! It shouted, bringing a hidden smirk to her face. He'll be caged inside of you forever.

"Well cool!" Fura motioned to the ride behind them. "You guys still up to this?" He ducked his head, trying to see Minami's face. "You feeling any better?"

She looked up quickly, eyes darting up at Arima then back again, before she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Mhm! Yes…much better."

"Great!" Fura grinned before turning and motioning a hand. "Come on then. I'm about to leave you both in the dust!"

Minami's eyes closed affectionately as she smiled. What a strange person he was!

"Is that so?" Arima quirked a challenging brow. "So confident."

"It's my greatest trait."

"I see."

"I'm picking up on a judgy tone there, Kishou."

"That's strange."

Fura-kun laughed and threw an arm around Arima as Minami shivered when a strong gust of wind swept past.

She walked beside them, yet felt so separate. They were part of another world. They were so damn lucky.

"Brrr," Fura-kun shuddered. "That wind sure stings, huh? Wish our jackets weren't soaked."

The rain was dying down now, the downpour turning soft. Minami hung her head a little, watching the ripples in the puddles they walked through.

She began to lose herself in watching the reflections too, the distorted lights from above, when she suddenly slammed right into Fura from behind, spilling her coffee over herself and the back of his jacket. He turned to steady her, reaching both hands out to her shoulders. They were really warm.

"Oh!" Her hands flew up over her mouth, eyes wide. "I'm so sorry, Fura-kun!"

"Hey, no biggie!" He shrugged. "At least it wasn't still hot."

She only nodded, feeling the warmth of embarrassment rise up her neck.

"Are you alright?" Arima asked from Fura's other side.

"Yes," she muttered.

Don't look at me like I'm helpless!

"Tough day for you," Fura moved his hands, his warmth, away.

Minami sighed. "A little."

"We should probably call it a night after this ride, huh?"

"…maybe. I'm really cold."

Arima nodded, "it's probably for the best."

"Yeah," Fura-kun agreed. "We can't be getting sick."

He then turned and led them around the side of the track to where the line was and Minami began rubbing her arms as they came to a stand still. Moving was definitely nicer than this.

"Regrets?"

Minami's brows creased and she glanced up at Arima quickly as he stepped over to stand near her. As always, his proximity stirred the raving hunger inside.

"Huh?"

His arm faintly brushed hers as he placed his hands in his pockets. It sent a fresh jolt beneath her skin.

"The Ferris wheel. Do you regret the decision to go on in the rain?"

"Oh…" she glanced down at her feet, watching his reflection in the water. "Do you?"

"No. Not at all, actually."

She raised her head and looked to him, seeing his soft expression as his eyes narrowed in an uncommonly fond way.

Something was different about the way he was looking at her. She wasn't sure what it was exactly and it was so subtle that it nearly wasn't there at all.

She thought again of the way his eyes had looked on the ride, the vivid energy, and she smiled.

Her humanity didn't regret it.

Then she thought of the taste of him and sighed softly.

The ghoul didn't either.

The only part of her that did was the very primitive, cold and uncomfortable part.

But that part didn't matter so much.

"…that's good, Arima-kun. I don't either."

As he continued to stare, she got the impression that he was trying to communicate something. It confused her.

What was he trying to say?

Does it matter? Her angry, ravenous voice asked.

The gently whispered response to that was lost in the roar of her more dominant urges and she tilted her head at Arima.

And I also won't regret what's coming next, although… she fought to keep herself in control as her mind sang. You might!

What a plot twist that the damsel would turn around and destroy the knight who'd saved her!

+.+.+.+.+.+

Retrace my lips, erase your touch.
It's all too much for me, blow away like smoke in air.
How can you die carelessly?
Our love is six feet under.
I can't help but wonder if our grave was watered by the rain...
And all of these clouds crying us back to life,
but you're cold as a knife.