AN: Well, this has garnered more attention than I initially thought it would. Considering I'm basically creating my own series of events, your patience with me is appreciated in this endeavor.
Next note is the Pairing status... we definitely have Naru/Kushi, as that's more than obvious, but who'd have guessed a shot at Madara/Retsu? Yeah, nuts, right? But it flowed so well, and I've been getting good reviews on that pair.
Now, I need a shout out to my pal, Dreaming of the Moon. Good to have you back up, man.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Bleach, or High School DxD.
Chapter 03: Say What Now?
It was late morning, and Kushina was hanging up the Namikaze's house phone. With a heavy sigh, she sat down despondently on a nearby chair, her head falling into her hands. She had just finished calling the last person who might take Sasuke off her hands, and as she expected from the start, only Haruno Sakura was interested.
In fact, the other girl was interested enough to make a counter offer, instead of trading people, she'd give up two unused Pawn Pieces, one of which was a two-times Mutated Piece. That was more than what Kushina had used in the first place! Sasuke, for all his self-importance, had only been worth the use of two normal Pawns. Kushina could hardly turn down the offer, but she did have something in the way of a conscience, so she ended up explaining to the Haruno the exact series of events that lead to this circumstance.
To Kushina's surprise, Sakura didn't mind in the least. Kushina wasn't certain if Sakura had fully understood just what was being explained, but she'd take the deal anyway. Now all that was left was to wait for the Haruno's arrival.
Kushina did make a small mental note to make better judgments on Peerage additions in the future.
She felt a hand land on her shoulder gently, and looked up into the concerned gaze of her new fiance. For some reason the sight of Naruto's worried cerulean blue eyes made her feel much better about what was going on. She gave him a small, but grateful smile, glad he was with her.
It was strange, she'd only known him for the past day or so, but already his presence was a balm to her tortured nerves. If Kushina didn't know better, she'd almost think he was using some kind of high-level charm spell on her. But even with only the few hours of being acquainted, she knew he wasn't the type to do such a thing, and that made her feel incredibly lucky.
Though she did briefly wonder if he ever had a lover... it wasn't unusual for devils to have multiple wives since the end of the Great War. With their numbers depleted so drastically, it was seen as inevitable, and as a method to try and help bring their numbers back up. Granted, Ajuka Beelzebub-sama's Evil Piece System went a long way to assisting in that endeavor, there were many who felt it was giving up the true identity of devils to "inferior" beings. Kushina wasn't part of that particular crowd, however, and realized that multiple partners was a way to restoring the number of devils.
But any woman who wanted to get in on Naruto would have to go through her first!
"You doing okay, Kushina-chan?" His softly spoken question ripped her from her decidedly naughty thoughts.
"A-ah, y-yes, thank you, Naruto-kun," she stuttered slightly, and almost cursed herself for it. This was not the time to be having those naughty thoughts! Especially about a boy she had just met. He'd think she was some kind of pervert!
He took a seat beside her, in a convenient second chair, hand still on her shoulder. "Really? You're really okay? I'm right here if you want to talk," he said sympathetically. He'd never had one of his Pieces do something like this, but his mother had, not long after Naruto's birth oddly enough. The difference was, Kana had chosen to publicly execute the man, whereas Kushina was trading her trouble away.
Taking a deep breath, Kushina shoved her perverted thoughts aside for the time being. "The Haruno accepted, but instead of a person, I'll be receiving two unused Pawn pieces, one of which is said to be Mutated. Twice the standard value," she revealed, "which is half-again what I used to make him my servant in the first place."
"That's great news, Kushina-chan!" Naruto said enthusiastically, pulling her into a hug and making her blush as her face found itself in contact with his chest. It was a fairly uneven trade in her favor. Sasuke had nothing but breeding potential, so his value as a Pawn had actually dropped to near zero.
Then he remembered something, something he had forgotten in the ensuing trouble. The Haruno had no specific magic, or feature, to stand out. If they bred the Sharingan into the family, it could prove to be invaluable to them. It could even be the impetus to keeping their standing among the Pillar Families, which they were on the verge of losing. Especially if the children couldn't possess the father's clan name, then they would be easily claimed into the Haruno family!
When Naruto thought of it in those terms, a mere two Pawn pieces, even if one was Mutated, were a small price to pay. The ability to save their family from losing prestige would be priceless to the Haruno, to any devil family. That alone slanted the deal greatly in favor to the Haruno.
Well played Haruno Clan, well played indeed.
"You know, Kushina-chan, I'm surprised no one else took you up on the offer," Naruto said, causing the girl in his arms to stir slightly and look up at him.
Kushina didn't want to move, she was feeling very comfortable where she was. Her new fiance exuded a warmth she hadn't felt in years, and she was quite certain it wasn't just his body heat. But his words had roused her curiosity, what was he talking about? Didn't Sasuke only have value for breeding now?
"I'm surprised, Kushina-chan, that you can't figure it out as well," he teased. Then he went on to explain his thoughts, and Kushina, realizing he was right, hid her face in his chest again, but this time in embarrassment.
She should have been able to see it for herself, but she was still so upset about what happened, about what could have happened, that she wasn't thinking clearly, and now it was too late. She'd struck the deal with Haruno Sakura, Sasuke for one Pawn and one Mutated Pawn, and she'd have to live up to her bargain. To do otherwise would tarnish not only Kushina's name, but that of her Clan, and that would simply drop her to the same level as Sasuke.
"I'm such an idiot," her voice was muffled by his shirt, "I should have seen it. The first ones I called were the Yamanaka, their current heiress, Ino, was said to have a similar desire for the dark type, but it seems that she has decided to go after the soulless type, and is engaged to the heir of the Shimura family. After that everything just spiraled out of control, and I found myself desperate to close a deal, and the Haruno came back with this counter offer..."
"Shh, it's okay, Kushina-chan," Naruto crooned into her hair. He knew the problem, even without her continuing.
The Yamanaka specialized in what was termed as "Mind Magic", which included things such as telepathy, even certain forms of teleportation, and they were on good terms with the Haruno family. Mostly due to the friendship between the current heiresses. Calling them first allowed Ino, who was a notorious gossip, to spread the word quickly. There were families that Kushina couldn't even bother to call, simply because they wouldn't take one who's word was tainted like Sasuke's was, which naturally limited the number of possibilities.
Considering Ino's current ties with the Haruno Heiress, and her gossiping ways, she could easily have used what ever little amounts of information she possessed on every other possible candidate to get them to pass on the idea of taking in Sasuke as a breeder, and then inform Sakura of the impending call so she could have a counter offer already in mind.
It was a well orchestrated script and play, allowing Kushina to technically come out on top, and very well done for the short amount of time Ino would have had to put it together.
"Look on the bright side, Kushina-chan," Naruto said with a grin, "you'll have the chance to add someone new to your Peerage, possibly two. If you're lucky they'll easily be able to replace that arrogant prick."
A small snort of mirth echoed up from his shirt, where Kushina still had her face buried. Even after everything that happened, when Sasuke finally came to, he had started saying things about they couldn't do this to him, how he was an elite and should be treated as such. Apparently Sasuke had entered into a form of denial, and was refusing to believe he was in the wrong.
In point of fact, he currently reminded Kushina of the one, and only, time she had met Riser Phenex. A more self-important, narcissistic, playboy of an arrogant jackass she'd never met! The man defined the word "arrogance", and it made her pity her fellow red-head, Rias Gremory, for being forced to marry the asshole.
He'd even made insinuations toward getting Kushina added to his Peerage so he could have his way with the fiery girl... fortunately for Kushina, the Uzumaki Head, her Great Aunt Mito, was within hearing range and immediately decked the blonde jerk, then declared that until Riser learned true humility, they would never set foot in the Phenex household again, and promptly lead Kushina out the doors.
The Phenex family had taken a large hit to both their pride and their reputation that day, and Riser's contract with Rias nearly died right there. Unfortunately it didn't, as Riser claimed he was merely playing around, and apologized to Lord Gremory for his conduct. Apparently the bastard could put on a rather convincing act when he really wanted to.
Ah, screw thinking right now, Kushina was comfortable where she was, and momentarily she was asleep, still in the cradle of Naruto's arms. Looking down at the now sleeping girl, Naruto couldn't hold back a small chuckle. Maybe this whole arranged marriage would work out after all, Kushina seemed like a fun girl, and he could already see something between them. Though whether that something grew into love was something he would just have to wait and see.
He could hope, though.
XXXXXXXX- Break -XXXXXXX
Naruto woke Kushina shortly before lunch, and she quickly changed into a comfortable pair of white denim pants, black long-sleeved shirt, and black low-heel sandals. Apparently she liked the "dignified tomboy" look, and Naruto had to agree it suited her well. Well enough that he had to force himself to stop checking her out while she walked, those jeans left little to the imagination the way they hugged her curves.
The Haruno family arrived exactly at noon, and the exchange went fairly well. Sakura was suitably horrified at Sasuke's current condition, and immediately, not to mention loudly, declared that she would see him healed at any cost. Naruto had to wonder about that, since his information said that the Haruno were courting ruin already due to Sakura's obsessions.
Oh well, Sasuke was a Haruno problem now, and Kushina had two new Pawn pieces to her name. Without Sasuke her name was cleared of any taint, and her word was once again to be believed as "good". It was cumbersome, and the taint of the former Uchiha's actions didn't transfer to the Haruno, as they were seen as attempting to "redeem the lost soul"...
Naruto had to fight back a laugh at the thought. To "redeem" Sasuke properly, they would need to kill him, then reincarnate him as a newborn. Naruto wasn't normally a cynical person, but he could see that Sasuke, despite the punishments delivered, held no guilt or remorse for his actions. That kind of person could not be redeemed, and the universe was better off without them.
Sakura didn't stick around any longer than politeness dictated, which included eating lunch. Apparently she was eager to get started on "healing Sasuke's dark and tortured soul"... yet another thing that forced Naruto to hold back a laugh. The girl was either delusional, which was possible, or an incredibly talented actress, and Naruto wasn't willing to bet either way at this point.
It was slightly cathartic, however, seeing Sasuke manhandled and maneuvered against his will into the bright pink carriage that was Sakura's personal transport. Though Naruto would admit he'd rather be dead than ride in that thing, too. And he wasn't the only one to flinch at seeing the pink monstrosity, Kushina couldn't even bring herself to look at it after the first glance, choosing instead to still look emotionally unstable by hiding her face in Naruto's chest.
Naruto wished he could do the reverse, but not only would that be too forward, as one of the "hosts" he actually had to pay attention... and his mother thought that old orange jumpsuit he wore once for a gag was bad! This pink ... "thing" was an eyesore without equal!
He was far beyond "happy" to see it leave.
"Is it gone?" Kushina's voice came from his chest.
"I hope so," Naruto responded with a small shiver, "if I never see that thing again, it will be too soon."
"Agreed," came a quiet voice from behind him. Turning his head, he noticed that his Knight, Tier, was actually attempting to hide behind him. That was more than a little strange for the normally unflappable woman.
Tier Harribel was something of an oddity in Naruto's opinion, but she was among others who were equally odd in their own ways. She was a tall woman, and favored an odd style of sword that looked hollow. Dusky mocha skin, contrasted by medium-length bright blonde hair similar in shade to Naruto's, and deep green eyes. Her body was well toned and possessed proportions that many women would happily kill for: large breasts, slim waist, and wide hips.
Her typical outfit didn't help any man she came across, either. White hakama pants that revealed the sides of her upper thighs, and a long-sleeved white jacket that barely covered her nipples, leaving the underside of her breasts perfectly visible, but a closed, popped collar that hid the bottom half of her face. She completed the look with white tabi socks and black reed sandals. The woman was practically a walking wet dream just on her looks alone. Then if one added in her usually confident air and soft spoken ways, she became what most teen girls aspired to be.
Naruto was fully willing to be honest and admit that if he wasn't arranged to marry Kushina, he'd have fully pursued a relationship with Tier. He might have tried for Retsu, but that woman scared him with her smile. He could even have tried for Yoruichi, but she was too much like the cat she liked to turn into at times... he still wondered if she wasn't actually a kind of Nekomata, but she refused to tell him.
Tier though, Tier would tell him anything he asked about, so long as she had an answer. Anything, from her three sizes, to what the weather was like that day, or where anyone else could be found. Not that he wouldn't get answers from the rest of his Peerage if he asked them something, however, most of those answers would either be unhelpful or attempted dodging. It was simply that with Tier, if he wanted to know, and she had an answer, she would tell him, and if she didn't have an answer, she invariably did enough research to give him one.
A very open woman, his first Knight was. His second Knight... not so much. In fact, if it wasn't for Yoruichi joining him as a Rook, he was quite certain that his second Knight, Soifon, would have told him to go fuck himself when he offered her a position. Soifon was a small woman, with a lithe musculature, and a diehard lesbian. She followed his commands only because he had proven two things: First, that her "beloved mistress", Shihoin Yoruichi, obeyed him; and Second, that he was technically stronger than her in battle.
That second point was rather difficult to prove, as she was a definite speed-based fighter even before she became his Knight, and Naruto was more of a well-rounded type that preferred sword combat. However they both liked precision fighting, and so instead of a head-on battle, they chose to find out who was more accurate... he beat her out by a millimeter. A narrow win, but it was a win, and she acknowledged it.
Actually, come to think of it, that was the kind of thing he'd had to go through for most of his Peerage. He'd had to beat Retsu at chess, which was not an easy task as it took him thirty-eight attempts. If he didn't know the woman better, he might have accused her of cheating.
Starrk hadn't cared and joined without a problem. He only wanted to sleep, and went through great pains to make certain he wasn't bothered. If a fight occurred, Starrk was most likely to finish it quickly, just so he could go back to sleeping. Naruto still had to wonder how such a lazy man, who was found sleeping outside the mansion gates, had grown to be such a powerhouse.
Ichigo wanted protection for his human family, not exactly easy but it was manageable. Apparently the orange-haired teen hadn't seen anything wrong with trying to get a little more out of the deal, never mind that even being offered a place in the Peerage was at the request of his father. It certainly made the serious boy an interesting acquisition.
Yoruichi was... annoying, he'd had to out-drink her. He still wasn't certain how he'd done it, but his mother wasn't happy with either of them when he came back home stinking of alcohol, and a drunk woman leaning on his shoulder. That was the night that Naruto swore off alcohol for the rest of his nearly-immortal life.
Byakuya, Grimmjow, and Zaraki all needed to have the crap beaten out of them before they joined Naruto's Peerage. Byakuya didn't want to serve under a weak King, while the other two were fight junkies. Naruto regularly let Grimmjow and Zaraki fight each other, just to get them to shut up for a bit.
Ulquiorra was interesting in that he hadn't required a fight of any kind, but rather an assurance of duty and a renewed sense of hope. The man wanted to do something with his life, but he hadn't had anything for a long time. He was filled with despair, and chose to follow someone he felt could lead him back to happiness... odd duck, but Naruto wasn't complaining.
Toushiro was another strange acquisition, in that he merely wanted help in learning to control his rampant powers. Whenever his emotions were unstable, ice and frost would accumulate in his vicinity. This caused Toushiro no end of grief when his grandmother passed away from exposure. So Naruto promised to get him the help he needed, even if it meant begging another house. It hadn't quite come to begging, but he wound up owing Sirzechs Lucifer a hefty debt for the lessons the Maou's Queen had imparted to the white-haired young man.
Naruto still lay awake some nights wondering just what the man would ask for in return.
Tier, though, Tier was different in every aspect from the others. She sought Naruto out to enter his service. She outright stated that her purpose was to find her true strength, and that she felt it could only be found in protecting someone else. That was exactly how it happened, and Naruto still couldn't believe his good fortune, but he certainly wasn't going to argue against it.
What Naruto didn't know, however, was that he was the twenty-third person she offered her services to. He was simply the first to believe that she had no other, ulterior motives. And for his belief in her, Tier had sworn to herself that she would follow him even into death, to the point that she would gladly commit suicide if he died before her. She refused to serve someone else, as no one else was worth following in her eyes.
A very dedicated woman, was his Tier. In fact she had been with him long enough that he had given the nickname of "Tia". Since she didn't object, he figured she liked it.
All these thoughts, and more, flitted through Naruto's mind as he led Kushina back into the mansion. Her Great Aunt would be leaving soon as well, and he was sure his new fiance would want to spend more time with her. Apparently, Kushina would be remaining in his house, to get to know him better before the wedding.
Yet another thing Naruto hadn't been told of. Now he had to be avenged twice over! Let the pranking begin...
XXXXXXXX- Break -XXXXXXXX
"Well, this is goodbye for now, Kushina-chan," Mito said as she gave the younger redhead a firm hug. "I'll be sure to send you everything you didn't have time to pack, it should be here in the next couple of days."
"Thank you, Aunt Mito," Kushina said as she returned the hug with equal vigor. She had managed to pack a fair amount of things for this forced stay, on the off chance that the match up would work out, but hadn't done everything. "But you should watch out, I think Naruto-kun has a prank waiting for you," she whispered.
"Oh, I know he does, I just don't know what it is, or when he'll spring it," Mito whispered back. If she were to be honest, she was looking forward to what the young rascal had in mind for retribution for both the minor prank she'd played the day before, and the contract in general. She had actually managed to slip a few more clauses into the contract that she was sure no one had noticed yet, and at least one of them was to Naruto's benefit.
"Well, he'll probably spring it soon. After all, once you're gone, it would be difficult to prank you, right?" The younger redhead asked. It made sense, as it was definitely a hard thing to enjoy pranking someone if they weren't nearby.
"We'll see," Mito said with a small wink, then she turned to Naruto, "well young man, it was a pleasure to meet you. You take good care of Kushina, you hear me?"
Naruto nodded, a soft smile on his face, "yes, Ma'am."
"Very good," the woman said with a firm nod, before turning and entering her carriage, shortly followed by Hashirama. As the carriage rolled away, an evil grin appeared on Naruto's face. The set up had been difficult, to be sure, but if it went like he planned, it would be well worth the trouble.
"I know that grin, Naruto-kun. Just what do you have planned for Aunt Mito?" Kushina asked pointedly, coming to stand right in front of her intended. Her eyes boring into his, the expression telling him without words that she would not be denied.
Naruto adopted an innocent expression, somehow looking like a kicked fox kit. "What makes you think it was for Mito-sama?"
The girl held her ground, barely. How the hell did he have a technique nearly as devastating as her own "Puppy Dog Eyes"? It wasn't fair! It was so... cute! Finally she couldn't hold against it anymore, and squealed while hugging his head to her developing chest.
"KAWAII!"
She stopped instantly, looking down only to find his disbelieving stare looking up at her. Kushina couldn't help her embarrassment at the decidedly girlish squeal. It went against everything she tried to show, that she wasn't just a girl, but a tough one! Unfortunately for Kushina, she couldn't keep an atomic blush from her face, red enough to outmatch her hair.
Naruto cleared his throat, "I didn't hear it, if you let go."
Nodding frantically, Kushina swiftly released Naruto's head from her hold, and buried her face in her hands. Damn, but that was embarrassing! And she still didn't know what Naruto had up his sleeve for Great Aunt Mito!
The blonde chuckled nervously, and rubbed the back of his head, "ah, about the prank on Mito-sama, don't worry. I made certain to keep it tame."
Her fingers opened enough to allow her to peek through at him, "tame? Tame, how?"
"Just a little something on the seats of her carriage," he replied innocently, "nothing harmful... physically."
"Uh-huh," Kushina said skeptically.
"Okay, I might have made a short visit to the Familiar Forest last night after the trouble with Duck-butt," Naruto said evasively, trying not to make eye contact.
"Naruto-kun..." the girl said with a warning tone.
"It's perfectly harmless!" He was starting to sound desperate. He didn't want to reveal his hand just yet.
"Tell me. Please?" Kushina busted out her cutest look, the Puppy-dog Eyes.
"Okay, okay," he muttered dejectedly. He should have known he'd fold quickly, he never could refuse a woman. "I may have coated the seats of her carriage with the secretions of a Forest Slime."
Kushina blinked. Then she blinked again. After a third time, Naruto was begining to get worried.
"Isn't that a creature that dissolves women's clothing?" She asked neutrally, her face blank.
"Um... yes?"
"Oh."
A moment later and Kushina was giggling, laughing hard enough she found it difficult to breathe. Assuming Naruto had done exactly what he said, the image of the upright and proper-looking Uzumaki Mito showing her now-bare butt to anyone that passed her was just too funny.
XXXXXXXX- Break - Mito's Carriage -XXXXXXXX
Uzumaki Mito, Matriarch and Head of the Uzumaki Clan of the 72 Pillar Families, was currently a very busy woman. She sat straddling the lap of her husband of many years, Senju Hashirama, in a fierce liplock, completely naked. Eventually breaking the passionate kiss, she held her forehead to Hashirama's and panted for breath.
"You know, we should probably send that little rascal a 'Thank You'," the man said teasingly, "I haven't seen this side of you in years."
"Mm, I know," she hummed contently, albeit with an incredibly naughty smile. "We'll thank him at the wedding, but right now, there's something else I want."
Hashirama chuckled, "and as your loving husband, I shall endeavor to grant your every needy desire, Love."
Soon the two were once again too busy for words, and their driver was seriously wishing the damned carriage was soundproof. He was too old for this shit, and he hadn't wanted to know that Lady Mito was a screamer!
Eight hundred years of service in the employ of the Uzumaki Clan, and for the first time, he was contemplating retirement.
XXXXXXXX- Break - Naruto and Kushina -XXXXXXXX
A few hours later, Naruto and Kushina were enjoying a moment together in the garden again, when a loud voice rang out, "you know, I keep telling Haruo that his security sucks. This is the fourth time I've practically waltzed in... if I knew how to dance, I might have tried it."
Looking over the two teens saw a tall man with dark hair and eyes, dressed in black jeans, sneakers, white shirt, and black jacket. He had a self-satisfied smirk plastered on his face, and Naruto's eyes lit up in recognition.
"Uncle Kugo? What are you doing here?" The blonde asked, excitement in his tone. He rarely saw his uncle, so rarely that the last time was at his mother's funeral.
"Your father managed to send me a message. Congrats on your engagement, kid, looks like your old man managed to get you a good match." The man's smile held for a few more moments before it dropped from his face. "We need to talk, Naruto. Alone, Ginjo to Ginjo."
XXXXXXXX- Ending Notes -XXXXXXXX
I figure I'll try to keep an updated set of Peerages, including Naruto's, even if it isn't likely to change... it's also to remind me of the current status of the Peerages.
Next up, the man who issued the challenge for this story has found issues with a few things. I hope to fix some of that in the coming chapters. However, should he have any further issue with the way I'm telling this story... well, I guess we'll have a problem. Patience is the key here, and mine is in very short supply. I suppose, should he and I continue to have issue, I'll simply have to change many of the characters, as the basic storyline is still my own. The only bright sight would be that it's still early enough that a rewrite would not be too large a task.
KING: Namikaze Naruto
QUEEN: Unohana Retsu
BISHOP: Ulquiorra Cifer, Coyote Starrk
KNIGHT: Tier Harribel. Soifon (actual spelling is Suì-Fēng, but that's just too much work)
ROOK: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Shihoin Yoruichi
PAWN: Zaraki Kenpachi, Kuchiki Byakuya, Hitsugaya Toushiro, Kurosaki Ichigo
KING: Kushina
QUEEN: Uchiha Madara
BISHOP: Sarutobi Hiruzen, Hatake Kakashi
KNIGHT: Uchiha Mikoto, Momochi Zabuza
ROOK: Senju Tsunade, Inuzuka Tsume
PAWN: Maito Gai, Konan, Mitarashi Anko, (two unused Pieces)
Now, for the open spot, I've got a poll up on my profile with the most popular choices so far, so please, help me pick one.