Chapter 5

- Los Angeles, 2007 -

The training hall was empty, which was not that big surprise. It was quite late and training had been over for some hours. Everyone was in his or her rooms or busy doing something.

Amelia stood beside the punching ball and kicked it softly from time to time. Grayson watched her and asked, "Do you still think this is a good idea?"

"I think we don't have that many options," Amelia answered. "So, yes. This is probably the best idea I can offer at this time."

Grayson sighed. "And why are we in the training hall?"

Amelia went to the bench and sat down, leaning her back against the wall. "Because she said, she needed an empty room, where we can talk without being interrupted."

Just as Grayson wanted to say something, the air inside the room began to flicker. He turned his head and saw a portal open up right behind him. Only a few seconds later Clary Fray and Jace Herondale were standing in the room. The portal closed and Clary looked first at Grayson, then to Amelia. "Hi. I think we just spoke to each other on the phone."

Amelia stood up and nodded. "I'm Amy."

"Clary." She smiled. "But you already know that."

Amelia smiled too and pointed at Grayson. "This is Grayson, my brother."

Clary nodded toward him and he asked, "Did you make that portal? Like, on your own?"

Jace stepped forward, his hands on his hips and said casually, "Clary is the master of portals. Haven't you heard about that?"

Grayson shook his head. "No. But now I am impressed."

Amelia cleared her throat. "I don't mean to be rude, but we should focus on why we're here."

Clary looked at her. "You said this was about Mark Blackthorn?"

Amelia and Grayson exchanged one quick gaze, before Amelia answered, "We - meaning myself, Grayson, Julian Blackthorn and Emma Carstairs - are not willing to accept that the Clave has decided not to look for Mark."

Clary crossed her arms in front of her chest and listened carefully while Amelia was telling her everything. After she had finished, Clary remained silent for a while, before she asked, "What exactly is your plan? And how do you want us to help?"

"If we help you," remarked Jace and Amelia shrugged. "The truth is we don't have a plan yet. We don't even know if we have a chance of succeeding. But we do know that we will try everything we can to at least get in contact with him." Her voice dropped. "We want him to know that we're not giving up on him."

"Which is exactly why you are here," Grayson said. "You have seen Mark in Faerie. You know where we can find him. Or where we can look for him."

"We don't know where he is," Jace said quickly. "We kind of ran into him by chance. And we did that at a place I'm not keen on returning to."

"But Mark doesn't have a choice." Amelia looked at Jace. He was daunting, but that would not stop her. "I'm sure, he is not keen on staying there, either. And we do not want you to return there, we want you to tell us how to get there."

Clary frowned. "Why do you think we can do that?"

"Or that we would do that?" Jace added. His refusal was written all over his face.

Amelia hesitated for some seconds before she said, "Because I believe that you two know how it feels when the world has given up on you." Her gaze wandered to Clary. "You know how it feels when you don't have a choice, but to break the rules and to look for the one you -" She fell silent, lowering her head.

Clary nodded. "But we also know how dangerous it can be. And we know that it usually has a prize."

"I don't care about that." Amelia lifted her head, looking at Jace. "You must understand how Mark feels. You know how it feels to be left alone, not knowing if you will see the ones you love ever again. Do you really want to leave him in this insecurity?"

Jace and Clary exchanged looks.

Please, let them help us, Amelia thought desperately, we cannot do it without them.

Finally, Clary looked at her. "You know that we cannot bring him back, don't you? That would mean his death."

"I know. We know." Amelia shrugged again. "We - I just want to see him. I just want to make sure that he is okay. And I want to tell him that we miss him and that we will never give up on him."

Clary turned to Jace and said, "I could open a portal to Faerie. Or to the tunnel, where we found him."

"And then what?" Jace narrowed his eyes. "Do you really think he is still there? That he is waiting there for us?"

"Can you tell that he isn't?" Clary countered. "Nobody knows what's going on in the land under the hill. No one knows where the Wild Hunt is roaming around. But we have to start somewhere."

Jace grimaced and turned to Amelia and Grayson. "You have no idea what you're getting yourselves into!"

"We don't care," Amelia said. "And even if we knew - it would not change anything. I've made up my mind."

"Love can make you blind for rationality", Clary said carefully. "It can lead to dangerous decisions."

Amelia shook her head. "I would also do it if I weren't in love with him. Because it is the right thing to do. Because you don't leave your friends behind."

Clary wanted to say something, but Jace beat her to it. "You're wrong. Love changes everything. I know you might think that it will be enough just to see Mark. That you'll be fine, once you know that he is okay. But you're wrong. It won't be enough."

Amelia looked at him silently and he continued, "We have seen him. And we know that he is not okay. He's alive, but he's not okay. They have tortured him and told him that everyone he loved was dead - over and over again. Until he was broken. He begged us to take him away from there, because he rather wanted to die than to stay there."

Amelia felt her body shivering. Suddenly she felt cold. Jace's words were terrible. Something inside her had known that Mark was suffering, but hearing that it was the truth seemed to be too much. A part of her did not want to hear it, but Jace did not care.

"Believe me, I wanted to take him with me. I wanted it so badly it almost hurt. But I knew that I couldn't. I knew that it would kill him. And that is why I had to disappoint him. I had to look him in the eyes and tell him that he had to stay there. The question is - can you do that too?"

"Jace," Clary tried to interrupt him but he ignored her. His eyes were fixed on Amelia. "If we find Mark, will you be able to look him in the eyes and tell him that he cannot return home? Even if he's begging and crying? Will you be able to do that?"

"That's enough!" Grayson stepped forward, shielding his sister with his body. As always, he tried to protect her and Amelia loved him for that. But she had been the one to start all of this and there was no way she would hide behind her brother. Softly she laid her hand on his arm and stepped beside him. Grayson looked down at her and she nodded, before she looked at Jace. "I don't know if I can do that. You're right about that. Supposedly, I won't be able to. And that is exactly the reason why I'm asking you to come with me. You will be able to think straight, when I can't anymore. That's why I need you."

Jace studied her face and she said hauntingly, "I know that I will never make it on my own. That's why I need your help. So, are you going to help me?"

Both Jace and Clary remained silent and Amelia dug her fingers deeper into Grayson's arm. So much depended on those two teenagers. But no matter what their decision might be, whether they took her to Faerie or not - Amelia would go either way. She would find a way to help Mark.

After what seemed to be hours, Jace looked at her. "We're in."

Amelia felt as if a weight had been lifted from her soul. She wanted to fling her arms around Jace's neck, but she did not.

"Thank you. Both of you. Thank you so much."

Jace sighed. "I think you're right. We do not leave the ones we love behind. Less than ever when he is scared and needs our help."

"Thanks," Amelia repeated and he raised his eyebrows. "I am pretty aware of the fact that you might be crazy enough to try it on your own." He looked over to Clary. "I know the crazy things women do for love."

Clary smiled and for a moment, Amelia could almost feel the love between them. She cleared her throat and said, "When do we go? And where do we start?"

Clary shrugged. "The tunnel could be a start."

"I don't think he's still there," Jace countered quickly. "The tunnel's sealed by now and the Hunt usually doesn't stay at the same place for that long. And since the latest decision of the Clave regarding the faeries, they might not really be that pleased to find us there."

Grayson frowned. "But that's all we have. We know Mark's in Faerie, so probably we should visit the Seelie Court."

"The Wild Hunt doesn't belong to the Seelie Court," Jace objected. "They belong to no one. How do we get in contact with them?"

Amelia lifted her hand to rub her eyes. "We know so little about them. We need more information. Which means, we are loosing time on research."

Clary grimaced. "Well, we should not loose too much time."

Everyone turned his head to her and she explained, "Time runs different in Faerie. What is just a week to us can seem like years to Mark. When we met him, he was convinced that he had already been there for a long time, when in fact it only had been some days. And he looked as if he had been there way longer."

Grayson shook his head. "Do you mean he is years older now?"

"I don't think so," Jace answered silently. "It's not about his body that much. It's more about his mind. He thinks he has been there for years. He thinks he has been left there for years. That no one cared about him for a long time." He sighed deeply. "He could forget."

Amelia felt as if she had been slapped. "Mark would never forget his family. He would never forget who he is and where he truly belongs."

"I forgot that too." Jace's voice sounded hoarse, as if the memory was painful for him. "Not because I wanted to. Because it was easier. When every thought reminds you of the things you have lost, when the memory is too painful - then forgetting is the better alternative. You try to protect yourself by forgetting. That's what happened to me. And I think it could happen to Mark as well."

Amelia kept silent for some seconds. Then she looked at Jace and whispered, "Do you think Mark could want to be a Hunter? If he really should forget that there are people here who love him and want him back?"

"I don't know," Jace had to admit and Grayson quickly said, "We should not fear the worst. We have to have a little bit of faith. At least we should have faith in Mark. For if we don't do - then what the hell are we doing it for?"

Amelia looked at her older brother, embraced him and whispered so silently that only he would understand, "Thanks for always finding the right words."

He squeezed her gently, before he turned his face to Jace. "So, we don't want to lose any more time. But we don't want this to be a suicide mission, either. We do need some time to get prepared. None of us has been to Seelie Court before, none of us knows enough about the Wild Hunt. We have to collect some information."

Clary put her hands on her hips. "I don't believe we even can get prepared for negotiating with the Seelie Court."

"Besides that I don't believe that Mark's situation is negotiable," Jace said quietly and Amelia freed herself from Grayson's hugging. "Maybe we can find some kind of a loop hole, something the faeries didn't pay attention to. Something that could help Mark."

Jace nodded. "Or we could find something the Seelie Queen wants so badly that she is willing to trade him for it."

The way he spoke about Mark, as if he was some sort of good, something that could be traded easily for something else, made Amelia feel a sharp pain in her heart.

"Either way we need more time," Grayson resumed. "At least a week."

"No way!" Amelia was shocked. "That's too long."

Grayson sighed. "I know what you are thinking, but we can't rush into this head over heels. We don't even have a plan worked out yet. How are you going to help Mark by putting yourself in danger? Do you think he would want you to do that?" He grimaced and said, "What are you going to tell him when you find him? That we want to bring him back home but that we have no clue how to do that? And that because of that he has to stay there?"

Amelia remained silent. She knew that her brother was right but the thought of not doing anything was unbearable.

"Imagine it were you. Imagine you were in Faerie, alone and without your family. Wouldn't you want to know that you haven't been forgotten?" Her voice sounded entreating. "Even if I cannot take him with me - at least I want to see him. I cannot stand the thought of him being all alone. I just want him to know that he is missed and loved."

"So you just want to get started without having any kind of a plan?" Grayson asked in disbelief and Amelia nodded. "Yes, that's I'm gonna do. Because I simply cannot do nothing. And if I fail - then that's just the way it is. But at least I've tried."

She paused and thought for a while. "We can split up. I can go and look for Mark and you can stay here and work on a plan. Together with Jules and Emma."

"There's no way I will let you go on your own, Amy!" Grayson said quickly but she nodded gently. "Yes, you will." Her voice was steady and calm. "You will because that's what I want more than anything else. And I need your support in this, Grayson. I need to know that you are here, working on a plan, having my back. I won't be alone - Jace and Clary will go with me. They will take good care of me." She moved a step closer to her brother. "You have to trust me, Grayson. Because I'm going - with you support or without it. But I'd rather go with it."

Grayson just stared at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. Was this really his little sister? He was not so sure about that anymore. He looked at Jace and said, "You will take care of her, do you understand?"

Clary smiled. "We will. Promised. If everything goes according to plan we will not even be putting ourselves in danger." She got serious again. "But we should all be aware of the fact that we might be risking a lot."

"As if we were not used to that." Jace smiled and Clary punched him playfully.

Amelia took a deep breath. "When are we going to start?"

"We have to take care of some things, but we could start tomorrow," Clary answered quickly and she nodded. "That sounds great. I'll be ready."

She watched Clary painting a strange looking Rune on the wall. Again, the air began to flicker and a portal opened. One last time Clary turned around to Amelia. "So tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow." Amelia lifted her hand and watched Clary and Jace disappear through the portal. Then she looked at Grayson who looked as if he was sick. His face was pale and he had his arms crossed in front of his body. Amelia went to him and looked up to him. "Thank you. For understanding."

He shook his head. "I don't. But I know you. You're stubborn; you would've gone either way. I feel better knowing Jace and Clary are at your side." He sighed. "I hate to admit it, but you're right about me staying here. It would be cleverer to split up."

Amelia smiled and he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her body. She felt tiny in his arms, tiny and vulnerable. Grayson closed his eyes and whispered, "No matter what is going to happen - I will always have your back. Don't you ever forget that."

Amelia pressed her face against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat, steady and strong. Once again, she felt protected and loved. For some minutes Grayson just held her tight, before he said, "This could probably turn into the most stupid idea ever. I hope you know that."

Amelia smiled. "I know. But that won't stop me."

Grayson pulled her a little tighter. "Amy, do you remember that day in our house in Idris? When you got that burn?"

For a second she held her breath, before she nodded. He swallowed hard. "When that - that accident happened I knew it was my fault. Even if Mom and Dad didn't blame me, I knew it. And I felt guilty. I wished I could have been able to take the pain away from you. I mean, I was your brother - I was meant to look after you, to protect you." His voice dropped. "When they brought you home, when I saw the burn and heard you crying every night, because it hurt so badly, I swore to myself that I would never let something like this happen to you again."

Amelia lifted her face and looked into her brother's light green eyes. He tried to smile, but it was a sad one. "And here we are. You are about to do something very dangerous and I cannot look after you. Once again I cannot keep my promise."

Amelia shook her head and whispered, "Don't say that. You are the best brother I could ever wish for."

"Promise me that you won't do anything stupid. Promise me that you will be careful."

"I'll try. I'll try to be careful. But whatever happens - I trust Clary and Jace. I just hope we'll find Mark before it's too late."

Grayson bent his head and kissed her forehead. "We will. With that amazing plan of ours we can't go wrong."

Amelia laughed silently and closed her eyes. With all of her heart, she was hoping that Grayson was right.