Chapter 2: Building Burned Bridges
What made Skyrim breathtaking was the ability to go from one extreme to the other. From fierce blizzards, to tranquil meadows.
Serana smiled when the fire mage broke off the occasional stalk of sweet grass and chewed on it while they traversed across the moonlit meadow. The breeze that ruffled through her clothes and brushed her hair was welcome. Serana soaked in the sights and sounds, guided to a nearby creek when she heard water trickling over stones and roots. The earth sank from mud and dew when she knelt and washed her face. Her gaze snapped to the reflection in the water, and she looked behind her to see Ashes right there. Too close to the Elder Scroll for comfort. Serana rose and kept distance between them.
"I was thinking we set up camp and take shelter in the nearby forest overnight." Ashes said.
She knelt by the water and cupped water in her good hand to wash her face, then drank. She wiped her mouth with a content sigh and stood, pointing in the direction they travelled in.
"After we cross this meadow, we'll be knee-deep in the swamps of Morthal's region." Ashes continued. "I'd rather not travel through there right now, so let's wait until dawn breaks and recuperate our strength. Too many creatures of the night is a recipe for a dangerous journey."
Serana frowned. She wondered if she was lumped in with those creatures, but kept it to herself and nodded.
"Alright. Lead the way."
They traversed through the long grass seeded with wildflowers, until they entered a narrow path with tall trees laden with leaves hemming the clearing. The sounds of small critters scampering through the grass brought a smile to Serana's face, and when Ashes broke off another stalk of grass to chew on, so did she. The fire mage looked over with interest, the long thread of grass bouncing in the corner of her lips.
"A vampire eating vegetation? Interesting choice." Ashes teased.
Serana smiled and didn't give the satisfaction of an answer. She found a wild strawberry and popped that into her mouth whether it was ripe or not. The fire mage laughed.
"Are you having an identity crisis, Serana?"
"Careful, you're the only one around that could help me solve that," she teased back.
Her smile grew when the fruity laughter skipped in the air until it tempered off into silence. She studied the fire mage's bare back, both not surprised that there weren't many garments worn, and curious as to how Ashes appeared so comfortable with it. Besides modesty, how could she jump into the frontlines of battle without protection? The pauldrons on her shoulders were useless for a sword lunging for her torso. Serana didn't look forward to getting that answer any time soon. That the woman was unscathed except for her hand had to of meant something in a cave that smelled starkly of vampire blood and charred flesh.
She was caught off guard when Ashes twisted and held something out in her hand. Serana chuckled when it was another stalk of sweet grass. She smirked and took it.
"Thanks." She tucked the stalk in the corner of her lips and chewed on it.
They entered the forest, and Serana was ignited by the sensations that burst to life.
Lizards scrabbled on the tree branches, insects churred, and dead leaves crunched under their feet. The smell of pine delighted her and she ran her palms against the scratchy bark. She caught a small bundle of sticky sap by accident, and was mindful not to have that hand anywhere near her face when twigs snagged her hair and scratched her face.
Since leaving the crypt, these excursions were more adventurous than all the ones she had in Castle Volkihar's sewers.
Spider web strands brushed her skin when they broke through into a clearing, pushing aside hanging moss to reveal a nice little nook they could use to set up camp.
Except they had no gear.
Ashes had gone ahead and started to assemble broken off branches and twigs in the middle. She kicked at the grass and ripped it out so that there was a circle of dirt surrounding what was about to be a firepit. Serana kept her distance when the bonfire went up. When Ashes started plucking leaves off branches, Serana pitched in and went into the forest to find more branches. She dragged it back and smirked when the fire mage already made herself comfortable on her pile of leaves dangerously close to the fire. Serana wasn't excited to sleep the same way, not that she needed to sleep anyway. She left the branches by Ashes and went to go sit against a tree, wondering if the fire mage really was asleep in the presence of a vampire.
Blood became a temptation again. Serana made the mistake of stealing one too many looks at the bandages, where the strips of her cloak looked stained and darker than before. She approached with deliberate noise, but the mage seemed to be fast asleep by how dreamlike she looked, drooling on her leaves.
Serana sighed. She sat cross-legged in front of the mage and hovered her hand over the bandages to cast a sustained chill over it, careful not to instigate frostbite.
It was ever curious to see what kind of wound it was, and how Ashes was even functioning with it still bleeding. Wasn't she worried about bleeding out? Wasn't she dizzy? If she was, she wasn't in any rush to unveil the symptoms, and Serana understood why.
What she didn't understand was why this mortal was prioritizing their journey over her injury. It appeared serious, and what if function was lost?
Maybe the fire mage wasn't aware of the consequences.
"Ashes?" Serana whispered. She stirred the mage awake with a gentle shake of the shoulder.
Ashes' pupils dilated when they snapped to her, dazed. Then she seemed to jump in her own skin, snapped awake. Her pupils shrunk and her scent changed from earthy warmth to the starch stench of fear. The fire mage scooted back on her bum. She accidentally used her bad hand and she suffocated her cry halfway it clawed out her throat. Her arm buckled on her and she slammed on her back, cradling her hand to her chest as she squeezed her eyes shut before tears leaked out. Her voice broiled deep in her chest, churning with lava and gravel.
"Shor's beard, Serana! I thought you were a wolf!"
A wolf wasn't so bad as being pointed out for what she was.
"I'm sorry," Serana murmured, but she wasn't entirely sorry.
She helped the mage come back up into sitting and tried not to make the temptation plain on her face. The blood was inches away from her nose. Her feast was inches away from her fangs. To stop these predatory thoughts, she looked at the bonfire. Ashes' blood would taste like those flames.
"Why did you wake me up?"
What a grumbly little woman.
"Your hand," Serana reached out, but the bad hand retreated. She frowned. "We should take a look at it and re-bandage it."
"Why are you so interested in my hand?" Ashes cradled it closer to her chest, her suspicious eyes dark as coals in the dead of night.
"If you lose function, or if it gets infected, you'll lose that hand."
Serana stood and looked around, picking stalks of flowers that she couldn't entirely remember if they had regenerative properties or not. It wasn't that important for a vampire to know. Blood became clearer to smell. She glanced over her shoulder quickly, then set back to work with a smile. Ashes was, albeit reluctantly, unwrapping the bandages. Not without voicing her suspicion some more.
"Still haven't mentioned why you're interested," Ashes mumbled.
"If you're waiting for me to confess that it's because I want to taste your blood, you can rest at ease. I'm not stupid."
"Not stupid to tell the truth?"
"Not stupid to think about drinking the blood of a fire mage. I don't feel like turning into tinder for a fire myself."
It seemed to do the trick, apart from, yes, not being stupid to tell the truth. It was a natural yearning for a vampire starved of rich blood rather than scraps from an animal, but that logic helped hammer it down in Serana's head that it was indubitably the most stupid idea to drink the blood of a fire mage. Ashes finally relaxed at that. She even seemed to be proud of the fact. Serana brought her pile of flowers over and found the farthest nook away from the campfire, sitting in such a way that the fire mage's body blocked the sight of flames. The bandages piled aside and Serana did her best to ignore the temptation in front of her by listening to the sounds of the woods. The coyotes called and wolves howled, with some yipping and snarls. The flutter of wings unseen. The rustling of leaves in the breeze.
None of that could take her eyes away from the crusted gaping hole of Ashes' hand. All the sounds faded into nothing and the world turned into a tunnel. She looked up when the fire mage cradled her hand by her wrist, cursing under her breath.
"Look at it," Ashes' whispered, voice quivering.
She looked a lot paler than the moon could take credit for. Her complexion glimmered with beads of sweat in the silvery beams that broke through the trees. The flames behind her lashed nervously, without cause. She was going into shock. Serana acted quickly.
"Lay down, and take slow, deep breaths. We'll wrap your hand up in a second."
She urged the fire mage back on the pile of leaves, then plucked the petals of the flowers she had picked and crushed them in her palm. She sandwiched them in between two of the largest leaves she could find. She carefully took Ashes' wrist, who jerked away when the vampire was about to place the leaves down on the one side of the gaping hole, but waited and watched the fire mage, who's complexion grew brighter by the second.
"Deep breaths, breathe with me," Serana encouraged. "In, and out."
They fell into a rhythm together. Ashes licked her lips, and turned her head away to the campfire. She nodded slowly.
Her scream echoed when the leaves were placed down.
"I'm sorry," Serana chanted as she worked to make the next bundle of hopefully regenerative flowers.
She placed them on the other side of the gaping hole and squeezed tightly when the fire mage's jerky movements had ripped off the fragile crusty scabs. Fresh blood flowed freely. Serana used her fangs to untie the laces of one of her leather wrist-gauntlets.
"I know it hurts, but you have to hold the leaves for a minute and keep squeezing to help it clot. If you lose any more blood, you're going to lose your hand. Here."
Serana shoved the one gauntlet up against Ashes' mouth, who complied without thought and bit down on it. She muffled her growls in the leather and squeezed her eyes shut. She turned her head away, but Serana still smelled the salty tears that leaked out. Her heart sank. She couldn't afford to slow down though. She untied her second gauntlet and unsheathed her dagger, sawing it in half. She hovered the piece over and wrapped it over top while Ashes' pinned the leaves to her hand. Her heels dug their own little trenches in the earth.
The second half overlapped the first piece to make sure each hole had adequate coverage, and the leaves were well-pressed against the wounds. Hopefully the flowers would help clotting and healing a little faster.
Soon Ashes' sounds were the ones that faded into nothing, and the tunnel opened up to the world. Serana fell on her rear and raked her hair out of her face, finding it glued to the sides of her cheeks. She wiped a hand across her forehead and collected a thin layer of sweat. Her stomach roiled with nausea, and instinct turned her palms over. They were singed. The fire mage's body temperature alone had burned her through leaves and leather.
"Ysmir's beard," Ashes croaked. She lazily pushed up on her elbow and blinked at Serana's hands. "Did I do that do you?"
"Call us even," Serana murmured with a thin smile.
She summoned frost magic to soothe and numb the intense burning throbbing that kicked in as soon as adrenaline settled down. She hadn't even known she had gotten a shot of adrenaline. She crossed her legs and stared at her hands in her focus to cool them down. Another hand came into view. Bandages. The campfire suddenly extinguished and Serana's head shot up in confusion. Her eyes adjusted to the new wave of darkness within a second, and Ashes seemed to be staring in the general direction of her.
"Sorry," the fire mage whispered. "For what it's worth, I didn't mean to do that to you."
"I know." Serana held out her palms. It didn't seem Ashes could really see them. "My hands are fine now."
Serana wished she couldn't really see either, see the frown that crossed the fire mage's face.
"Because vampires regenerate during the night, right?"
Nords as a whole were honest and blunt to a fault from the time Serana remembered, and that culture seemed to continue to whatever era she had found herself in now. Ashes was so ridiculously easy to see through, even when she appeared to attempt to curb her obvious loathing for vampires, that it was almost a little amusing.
Ashes sighed, and she laid down on her pile of leaves, her back towards Serana. Her grumble made the vampire smile with hope.
"Handy trick."
Falling leaves kissed Serana's face. She slowly stirred and wiped them off with a long and heavy breath, blinking the bright world into view. The trees shielded her from the full brunt of the sunlight. The sun may have been a vampire's natural nemesis, but Serana had come to love what the sun did to the world around her. Birds sung and animals rooted in the underbrush. Insects hummed, and the offensive odour that slammed her belonged to a skunk somewhere. The sun brought the world to life.
Ashes was up and about like the beasts of nature, infected by the sun's vigour. She had collected a couple generous piles of berries, mushrooms and nuts.
"When did you pick all of those?" Serana asked.
"At dawn." The fire mage gestured to the berries and nuts. "Can vampires eat food or does it make you sick?"
"I survived as a herbivore eating grass yesterday so I think I'll be fine," Serana smirked.
Ashes chuckled. She stood and left the piles, disappearing in the forest to forage more.
The vampire pushed herself up into sitting and raked a hand through her hair, grimacing. Her intricate braids have fallen apart. She probably looked like a fool with leaves in her hair. When had she even fallen asleep? She remembered not being enthused by sleeping on dirt. It had been a long day though, and at least the fire mage was kind enough to not ignite another campfire. Curious, Serana head over to the piles of food and popped a few wild berries in her mouth. The strong tang flooded her palate and she grimaced. Twigs snapped to her side and alerted her to the fire mage's presence, who laughed.
"Looks like I've helped you solve your identity crisis after all. I don't think you'll survive another day as a herbivore, with that face."
"It's taste just... Caught me off guard."
"I'll say. That's what you get for eating the ones that aren't ripe yet. Here, I've a few here that should be a lot sweeter than that. Try these."
Ashes strolled over with a makeshift sack of berries inside the pocket she made by grabbing the end of her sash. She didn't seem at all bothered by the juices that stained the fabric, nor her haggard and wild appearance. She had loose leaves and bits of moss that stuck out like a sore thumb in her raven hair, and she didn't seem aware of it. It was going to stay that way. Entertaining.
Serana tried a couple other berries that were offered to her, and the sweet taste enveloped her tongue. She hummed, pleased, and nodded to the fire mage with a smile.
"Tastes good. I've never had fresh wild berries before."
For whatever reason, Ashes stared at her as if she had two heads. Then the fire mage grinned. It was bright and energetic and warm and maybe that blatant hint of mischief could qualify as a red flag, but Serana was swept in by the excitement of her own thought that maybe, just maybe, there was a friend in this one, someone she could say she trusted. To a degree.
"It's settled." Ashes scrambled a pile of clean leaves together and dumped the berries on top. She ran off to root in the brushes for more.
"What's settled?" Serana asked.
She wandered over to watch and learn what to pick, experimentally plucking some. She held out her palm to the fire mage, who took it from her with eagerness and dumped it on her sash. Ashes' mischief was as obvious as it could be, where her amber eyes ignited with all it's hues of browns and hazel-greens, casting an almost golden tint that made her look more like a beast than a human. Her wild dishevelled hair flicked over her shoulder when she turned sharply, berries and nuts hoarded amusingly in her stained sash.
"Your identity crisis! You're going to be the first herbivorous vampire in Skyrim."
Ashes came awkwardly close, lifting her sash as high as it could before the berries rolled into her stomach. Her bandaged hand seemed not to bother her with how much more she used it. Maybe the mix of products sandwiched against her wounds were helping. She looked serious and sold on her idea.
Serana kept her true thoughts to herself and entertained the fire mage by eating the nuts and berries. Hopefully they would still come across game, but the vampire had a sinking feeling that she would have to sneak off on her own and catch a rabbit or a squirrel to drain it of all it's blood. She didn't like the idea of hiding what she was. She hoped it wouldn't come to that.
"Could you actually survive as a herbivore?" Ashes asked with what sounded like earnest naiveté.
Serana smirked and wiped the corners of her mouth before the juice stained and became sticky. She knew how to make her point.
"Could you? And would you want to?"
Ashes stared up in space. The sash slowly dropped, and the bundle of berries turned to mush when they collided on the ground, splashing on their boots. The fire mage turned around without an answer and worked to scatter the piles of leaves they had used as bedding, then kicked dirt over the ash and soot of last night's campfire. She had this concentrated look on her face that often conflicted and moulded into a deep and intense frown. Finally, she turned with an answer and eyes honed with precision and suspicion.
"I could. I wouldn't want to. But I don't need to carry the burden of wondering, like you."
Serana's head cocked in confusion. "Burden of wondering?"
"You're obviously not like all other vampires. You're burdened by wondering of the necessities that come with being one."
That was her opinion.
Serana shrugged. "I wouldn't call it a burden. Not all vampires are monsters."
"I didn't say they're monsters. That's come from you, so you know of the ones who are. And if you know of any more that don't attack on sight like feral animals, I'd like to meet them. Until then." Ashes held up her hand in front of her face and it ignited in flames. "I'm burning every single one that doesn't prove to be like you."
The vampire crossed her arms. "And what do they need to do to prove they're like me?"
"Keep your fangs sheathed."
Heat was building in Ashes' voice, and with it, tension boiled between them.
Serana narrowed her eyes. "Keep your flames extinguished."
"I'm not the one you have to worry about. I'm not a wild beast out of control."
"Neither are all vampires."
"Out of all the ones I have ever met, you are the only one that's been friendly. And believe me." Ashes flicked her hand and the fire died on her fingers, fizzling out with silent smoke. "I've met a lot of them. Each one that was unfortunate enough to cross my path has turned into the name you've given me."
"How quaint. I'm sure you did your best to foster a friendly relationship."
Her sarcasm earned a swift and fiery backlash. Ashes' eyes flashed, and she stepped forward like she was about to march to Serana and wrangle her neck. What was worse was when she stopped in a spot where a thin beam of sunlight broke through the leaves, setting her eyes ablaze with a searing reflection that hurt to look at.
"Yes, let me stop the vampire that's slaughtered a whole village, feeding on children, and ask them to join me for tea. I'm sure I just misunderstood them."
Serana looked away. It burned her eyes trying to keep the fire mage's gaze. There was a disgusting pull for blood that made saliva pool in her mouth. She never would and partook in many a meditative training to discipline herself with her cravings, but she knew of many vampires that boasted how rich and delicious a young laddie and lassie's blood was. There was always a predatory instinct she had to suffocate whenever something smaller than her crossed her path.
"That's what I thought," Ashes grumbled. She whipped around and marched out to find the path that lead out of the forest.
Serana sighed and followed in silence. She of course still felt the need to defend, but could feel heat radiating from the fire mage's body from back a couple meters away, and could understand the hostility. The vampire would be a liar if she said most vampires weren't like the ones Ashes seemed to be well-acquainted with. Not all of them were though. They really weren't. It was wiser to leave this be and let the boiling pot cool now that it was taken off the fire, though. She was grateful Ashes' temper hadn't manifested in more flames. Serana wasn't going to take a chance prodding more until there was an explosion.
The vampire grabbed at twigs, grass, and practised her eye on ripe berries. She picked at them every now and then to study their colours and firmness before she popped it in her mouth to learn from her mistakes. She caught the fire mage looking over her shoulder. Ashes slowed and turned around, and her posture still screamed that she was ready for a fight. She waved at Serana to come closer. There was a stark spike in the smell of fear when the vampire came close to brushing shoulders, but Ashes focused on the food that Serana couldn't truly find it in her heart to care for. It was just a way to build a bridge between them.
"Look at these, this bush has a lot of ripe berries. We should stop picking them for now so that the birds have something to eat though. Let's practice in the next forest we travel through and maybe there will be different types of them for us to try. I'll teach you how to spot the kinds that are toxic."
Ashes darted off awkwardly after that. Serana wondered if the bridge that had started to be built was already burned from them butting heads over vampires. They cleared the forest and returned to the rolling meadow, where the world lit up in light from the hot sun. It made a shiver roll down Serana and she didn't have her cloak to pull up a hood. It beat mercilessly on her face and she gravitated to any scrap of shadow in their path. She loosened her leather armour and took it off a few minutes later, holding it above her head for shade. Her fingers burned instead, exposed at the edges from holding her armour.
The fire mage glanced back at her. "Oh." Ashes slowed and turned around. She loosened the buckles on her belt that pinned her sash in between the slabs of metal.
"I'll be fine," Serana started.
"I'm making you travel in this, this is the least I can do to help. Here, use my sash as a head wrap."
The fire mage came over and made sure the berry stains were on the outside when she wrapped it around Serana's neck. That stink of fear came back from their proximity. Serana lowered her armour to the ground and tolerated the sun for as long as she could to help wrap it around herself faster. As soon as her head was covered, Ashes took her leather armour and skittered away quickly, where the stench of fear went away with time.
Serana sighed. This was going to be a long trip. She angled her head down and fixed the way the sash sat, pulling it up to her nose. She jerked back when a stalk of grass was shoved in her face, and laughed when Ashes tried to thread it underneath the sash, poking Serana's chin. Then the mage ran off again.
It was kind of hopeful. That Ashes kept coming back, even when she was afraid and suspicious. Maybe the bridge hadn't burned. But maybe this piece of grass was still Ashes trying to deny the vampirism, or maybe paving the foundation of trying to convince Serana of a cure. That wouldn't happen. Not after everything she had been through. She looked up and caught the fire mage select a piece of grass for herself, chewing in silence. Ashes stole many a shy glance every now and then.
Serana nibbled, smiling as they travelled.