Chapter 9: Guess My Name
Warmth seeped into pores and sent tingles across Serana's scalp, making her hair stand. She groaned when she rolled on her side, squinting at the calm campfire, and held her hand above her brow to shield her eyes from the light. Earthy fungus flooded her nostrils and she realized she had passed out without the bedroll.
"Good eve," came the playful whisper.
Serana looked up at the source of the voice. She was met with a smile when Ashes pushed herself into sitting on the bedroll that should have been occupied by the vampire.
"How are you feeling?" Ashes asked. "I hope you don't mind, but I took a closer look at you and you've suffered some injuries."
"I did?" Serana sat up and checked herself, but found nothing. An occasional rip in her shirt and trousers that were of little concern. "I must have healed already, then."
"Handy trick," the fire mage scoffed lightheartedly.
Upon closer inspection, Ashes showed she wasn't so lucky. She had leaves stuck over her limbs that had dried blood crusted outside the vicinity of the leaves. Serana rose and steeled herself from the revolting warmth that would slither over her when she came close to Ashes, who was unbearably close to the campfire. The vampire knelt and took it upon herself to peel away the leaves. A hand slapped over her wrist and the stench of fear had overridden the fungus glued inside her nose. She didn't need to look, but she had, and the amber orbs were hard to see with how dilated Ashes' pupils were.
"I'm not going to do anything to you," Serana murmured gently.
"Then what are you doing?"
Ashes sounded and looked suspicious. Her eyes narrowed, her muscles quivered the slightest bit. Serana sighed and rocked back on her heels so that she stopped towering over the shorter Nord. At least a flame hadn't exploded in the fire mage's palm as a warning.
"I would hope you've already figured out that I won't hurt you, Ashes. If I wanted to, I've had plenty of chances."
"That's not comforting," Ashes grumbled. Her gaze and hand fell. "I know you won't."
"Then...?"
Ashes averted her eyes to the flames, pupils shrinking in the light. The hues of browns, caramel and chocolate and near-coal, swam together and ignited in a fierce gold from the firelight. She sighed and rolled back, then onto her other side for room to stand up, or room to wedge in between them. The fire mage coaxed a hand through her dishevelled hair and gave a lame shrug. She said nothing and peeled the leaves off her wounds with a hiss.
"Don't-" Serana started.
She was too late and grimaced, turning around to shield her eyes from the furiously white-hot bursts of fiery light when the fire mage cauterized her wounds. Ashes suppressed her pain and the most that broke from her were grunts. She was left breathless and gasping quick quiet gulps by the time she finished. Twigs crunched beneath her feet when she left beyond the barrier of light and disappeared in the shadows of dark tree trunks.
Serana sighed and looked up, studying the patchy sky and stars glimpsed through tree breaks. Her keen hearing and ability to see in the night helped her watch the figure that thought she was safe from such scrutiny. The vampire frowned when she smelled salt and heard a stifled sob, before a harsh suck of breath and a muttered pep talk. Why Ashes felt the foolish need to mask or belittle agony was beyond Serana's comprehension, but it was not a comforting thought that Nords, to this day, were still so bloody stubborn and persistent to portray an image of resilience, even when it was understandable to fall apart during moments like these.
Ashes lumbered back with a tough and proud posture, and a warm grin that betrayed what Serana heard a few seconds ago. She didn't say anything and smiled back.
"Are you hungry? If you are, I'll hunt for us, otherwise I'd like to pack up our gear and get moving."
Gear. She said that as if she had agreed to accepting supplies.
"In the night?" Serana asked curiously. "That's... Are you sure?"
Ashes shrugged. "I'm fine with it. Luck have it, most creatures of the night hate fire." She smirked, little flame dancing in her palm. "And I happen to know a thing or two about it."
Serana chuckled. She went to roll up her bedroll, and was relieved when the campfire extinguished. Ashes had been a smartass about it, gently blowing and pretending that was all it took to douse it. The vampire rolled her eyes but refused to take the bait. Her cheeks hurt from stopping herself from smiling when Ashes continued to be coy with her damn grin.
"Quite the talent you have there," Serana teased dryly. "Being smart with your face."
"Not all this face can do," Ashes shot back.
Serana felt a jolt of heat flush her cheeks for just a second, and frost magic instinctively flared to keep cool. Vampiric impulses took that statement down a terribly wrong path and she forced herself back onto the right one, just like every other impulse she had to control. She crossed her arms and smirked at the cocky fire mage.
"I'll say. Getting punched in the face sounds like a real skill."
Fruity laughter sounded as crisp as how the cool air felt against Serana's cheeks. She smiled and directed her attention to the moon that shone through the lattice of leaves. Her appreciation was cut short when twigs broke and dry detritus was disturbed, with a stark spike in the smell of fear. She didn't need to glance to know that Ashes was trying to approach her. Serana combed her fingers through her hair, finding the braids had unravelled, and made a mental note to fix them later. There was something she needed to fix right now.
"There's something more that unsettles you, something that goes beyond me easing your fear that I'm not like other vampires."
Serana turned to confront the fire mage straight on, and it seemed that Ashes had a similar idea. Her hand was stretched out, and she panicked when the vampire's eyes settled on hers, retracting her hand by pretending to scratch her neck with a gods-awful fake laugh. It died suddenly when an amber eye peeked to see if it was bought. Ashes smiled shyly and gave a meek shrug.
"I apologize if it aggravates you. Truth be told, I studied fire magic for the sole purpose of destroying vampires. I don't think it needs to be said that you've gotten a taste of my..." Ashes rubbed her shoulder. She looked at the ground as she groped for words. "Long story short, the first time I encountered one was not pleasant. Because of that, I've made it my mission to... Well. You know now. It's odd to be friends with a vampire. I don't know what to do, or say, or how to express gratitude."
Serana's brow arched. "Gratitude?"
Ashes shrugged sheepishly again.
The vampire stared, processing the information as much as her feelings towards it all. She didn't deny the bite of anger, but she didn't deny that she had expected something to this degree. She walked right up to the fire mage and ignored the way the stench of fear grew stronger.
"Do it as you would with Éclair, Ashes. You asked yourself if we're friends and affirmed as such. I should hope that remains the same. I'm just like you, just... With sharper teeth."
Ashes' mouth broke out in a smirk, lopsided to thumb at the canine that poked out. "You sure? Being the Dragonborn's given me a set that could rival yours, I bet."
Serana rolled her eyes. "Stop making everything a challenge. The point is... I'm like you. We both have our impulses. We both do our best to control them so innocents remain safe."
"Why would you be willing to become a vampire, then? Even you cannot deny that your very existence as one is a threat to innocents."
That stopped Serana. Her throat tightened, and all she could manage was a small smile she hadn't meant. She couldn't bring herself to answer. She went to get the bedroll instead, and with the carrying strap burned, she tossed it over at Ashes as her burden to carry, especially if she used it. She rose her brow when the fire mage groaned and huffed, but was wise enough to know not to complain out loud about it.
They worked in synchronous silence and embarked to find their way out of the forest. Side by side, Serana felt the stolen glances, and stole some of her own. Ashes smelled nervous more so than afraid now, and she looked every bit uncomfortable as if she was dying to say something, and thus Serana died to hear. She had her guesses, and imagination was never kind to her. Eventually, she caught movement in her peripheral vision, movement she caught earlier. Ashes rose her hand. The vampire took care to keep her gaze forward so that the hand wouldn't dive back into hiding and pretending.
That touch on her shoulder, that gentle squeeze, had meant more to her than many things in the entirety of her life. It brought her mind back and made her crave the familiarity and comfort of her mother's hug, or her father's praise. They were memories so far faded that it made her wonder if she was jaded, conjuring illusions she wished were memories. Her heart teetered to the edge at Ashes' whisper.
"I'm sorry, that was callous and presumptuous of me." These words weren't typical of her. Her nordic accent would sound airy with them too. "And you're right, about us and our impulses. We're both equally dangerous to people if we're not careful, and I apologize for before when I had acted as if you were the only one. I'll do my best to..."
Not be afraid.
"Not be so hostile to you. It's a bit of a habit though, so it'll take time."
Serana wanted to laugh, and bit it back in time. She knew that was the best she was going to get from a proud Nord. That was fine. She knew what the fire mage truly meant, even if she wasn't ready to admit it out loud.
Yet.
Stars decorated the night sky and flowed like the sea. Serana couldn't stop marvelling it's beauty, grateful that it wasn't a cloudy night. The moon was unimpeded and lit their path, reflecting off of the snowy patches along the cobblestone road. She checked often on the fire mage, who hadn't shivered the least bit. Her exposed limbs appeared as though light steam whisked away from her skin, but what bothered Serana most were the crudely cauterized wounds. They looked more as if someone tried to brand the Nord with a sword.
"Beautiful night out," Ashes whispered with a sense of awe that almost sounded weird coming out of her mouth.
But natural. Her appreciation reflected in her eyes, where the stars looked like specks in her irises and made them glow in breathtaking colours.
Serana smiled and playfully elbowed the fire mage. "Care to keep it that way. Find something else to burn."
Ashes chuckled warmly. "I don't do it on purpose." She caught the disbelieving side-look and smirked. "Usually. The fortress was a different story."
"Mm." Serana reached back and grabbed her Elder Scroll to remind herself it was still with her. "I wonder if the soldiers made it out okay?"
"Veteran Legionnaires never waste a second chance, we're all trained to learn from our first mistake so that it'll be our last."
"Waiting to see when you'll learn to stop setting everything on fire."
Ashes grinned at her. "Ever since I said we're friends, you've stopped rolling your eyes at me."
Did she? Serana remembered quite a few instances at the fortress.
"But that's because you've also stopped holding things back."
Hm. There was reasonable cause and correlation there.
"What are friends for?" Serana teased dryly.
She filched a sideways look, wondering how far the blood of their friendship ran. Blood. That needed to be eradicated from the vampire's vocabulary before her impulses brainstormed ideas. She was caught in her next glance, but didn't shy away the way the fire mage did. It didn't suit her, and at the same time did. These pockets of moments where she wasn't brash and brazen, but quiet and sheepish. Humility. It was an odd thing coming from such a proud Nord. Maybe that was just a front. Maybe there was a chance for another front to be broken.
"When will I find out what your real name is?" Serana inquired aloud while she looked at the stars, pretending to muse out loud. "Does it come with strings attached?"
Eyes burned holes in her. She crashed into the fire mage who jumped out in front of her and grunted on impact. Serana rose her eyebrow and scowled a little.
"You can find out any time," Ashes beamed.
For some reason, somehow, that irked the vampire instead. She wasn't sure if it was the mischief hiding behind the smugness of the smile, or if it was the positivity radiating from words that bounced, or if it was the way the amber orbs danced and proved Ashes thought she was being so witty and clever. The fire mage had a spring in her step that added fuel to the fire.
"And the only string that comes attached is..."
Ashes bounced back and knelt, ripping grass out until she had a sizable dirt patch. She drew something in it, where it looked like what could have been a man hanging from a tree. She grinned devilishly at Serana.
"The noose around his neck. Each guess you get wrong, I draw a limb on stickman. Get all limbs and you lose your guessing privileges for the day, and you can try again tomorrow." She erased the body and kept the string off the tree. "Go on now, what's my name?"
"That's not how this works!" Serana blurted, flustered.
Her nails bit her biceps and she stewed silently in her frustration, while her brain worked overtime as to what might have been Ashes' name.
"Do I get a hint at least?"
"Your only hint is what Éclair started to say, back in Morthal."
"What if I didn't hear or pay attention?"
It wasn't true. Serana remembered very well that Éclair had started to say 'Am', but she needed to buy herself time to brainstorm ideas.
Ashes shrugged. "That's your own fault then. As they taught in basic training camp: always pay attention to your surroundings and eavesdrop on your companions."
Serana's face fell flat. "You just made that up."
The fire mage's grin brightened the night with her teeth. She tapped the noose engraved in the dirt.
"Scared?"
This bait would not work. It would take a lot more than that to provoke Serana. It would not work. It-
"This will be easy," Serana huffed.
"Ooh! Your confidence is fun to watch, but your arrogance is on a whole other level." Ashes teased with a laugh.
"Amelia."
A head was drawn. Oblivion take this woman, she was serious about her stupid game.
"Ameneca."
The torso.
"Amnia."
An arm.
Serana slowed down. She hugged herself tighter and idly grabbed her chin in thought, pacing subtly by shifting her weight from leg to leg. She did her best to ignore the grin that grew on Ashes' face with every wrong guess. Her brows raised in exaggerated curiosity, then bounced playfully. The woman's talent for getting punched in the face would show soon enough, if she continued to taunt and mock with it too.
"Amara."
Another arm. Serana bit the tip of her thumb to withhold her curse.
"Amaryllis."
Ashes burst out laughing. "Do I look or act like a flower?! I'm going to go out on a limb here-" she tapped her stick figure to decorate her terrible joke. "And say that was a tease."
"Of course," the vampire forced the tease she did not mean in her voice. "Ambriel."
The fire mage's face flickered. Finally. Serana had this one!
A leg.
"What?!"
"Last guess," Ashes smirked. "Choose wisely."
The vampire suffocated her groan. She refused to give that pleasure to the cocky woman.
"Just one hint?" Serana asked.
It was to buy time again. She knew she was getting warmer, that second Ashes' face changed. Or maybe it was a wince. Serana wouldn't want to be called Ambriel.
"That hint will cost you your last leg," Ashes shrugged. "And I'll give it. But if you lose tomorrow's game, you'll never find out my name. Are you willing to take that risk?"
Confident, Serana nodded. The fire mage, whom she predicted would explode with excitement like an energetic flame, was curiously subdued with her reaction. She had that shy smile again, one that exuded comfort, and Serana didn't want it to leave. It did not flaunt it's strength, but it demanded respect. It was beautiful, and had potential. The low buttery voice that followed fit it perfectly, lacking mischief and mockery. It was, in it's truest essence, warmth that did not burn Serana, and commanded her to gravitate towards it instead.
"It's very much closely related to the name you gave me: Ashes."
Serana stared, speechless with the hundreds of more ideas that flooded her brain. It had something to do with fire. Of course it had something to do with fire, if she was a fire mage. What was peculiar was that a Nord family, who, by judging Ashes' penchant for boasts and insults, was the stereotypical Nordic family Serana was accustomed to, and they had named this young woman something fiery when Nords would sooner name their children something frosty if not ancestral, in respect to the land they hailed from.
The last leg was drawn in. Ashes didn't say anything else, and she surprisingly didn't jeer or taunt to rub in the loss. She got up, adjusted how she held the bedroll, and lead on. Serana knelt by the stick figure that hung from the tree. Her guesses led to the loss of this noble man's, or woman's, life. She smirked, wondering if Ashes would get a kick that she was mourning this stick figure.
It would be the only loss. Serana was confident of that, and confident that this was not cockiness. She followed after the fire mage in silence, concentrating on ideas.
It had been a long time since she felt excited about something, like unravelling a mystery. This was one she swore she would get to the bottom of.
Flames. Fire. What were names that pertained to fire and started with 'Am'? Maybe it was Éclair's nickname and not actually Ashes' name. Maybe Serana misheard. She threw it out and brainstormed anything that could possibly be construed as fire, and hoped it was not a new trend of this era that would have never been thought of in her own. That was the major issue, the amount of time in between them that could have completely changed the semantics of Nord culture or politics behind names.
Did Ashes really seem like the product of politics or culture? The opposite of them, if anything.
The next time they made camp, out in the frozen tundra, Serana paid careful attention to everything the fire mage was doing. To the campfire anyways. The vampire had come as close as she could tolerate and knelt by it, accepting a large leaf with slabs of meat that had blood oozing out. She looked up at Ashes with a grateful smile, but the amber orbs shied away from her. There was no spike of fear, for once, but it still lingered a little.
There was an agreeable silence between them. Serana did her best not to disturb it while she sucked the blood out of the raw meat, watching the flames. They were calm and subdued and small, but not weak. It was comforting, almost, even for a vampire. When they finished their meals, Ashes unrolled the bedroll farther away from the campfire.
"Aren't you going to freeze out there?" Serana asked.
"It's not for me, it's for you. I hogged it last time. It's fairer if we take turns."
The vampire blinked. "Ashes, it's alright. I don't expect you to sleep in the snow."
"Nor I you. Besides..." Ashes tossed a warm grin. "It's ill-mannered for this peasant to treat royalty so poorly. I'd like to keep my head when we return to your home, please."
Serana barked a short laugh. "I'm not royalty, and you're not a peasant. Just take the bedroll. I'm not tired anyways, and it'd be wise if one of us guarded throughout the night. There's a lot more wildlife here, the farther out we travel away from populated areas."
"Mm... Alright, you make a fair point. Thanks, Serana."
"Don't mention it."
Ashes nodded in gratitude with that meek smile of hers. She set up the bedroll closer to her campfire, then stuck her hand in it to adjust the logs. It was a wonder how she had done it, manipulating fire to the degree it wouldn't burn her unless she needed it to. The cauterized wounds looked ghastly. Serana tried not to look at them and centred her attention on the campfire again. It wasn't long before the flames suddenly dwindled, sucked out of it's magicka with the one responsible fast asleep. It became more comforting and less antagonizing to watch. Serana dared come a little closer and laid on her side, letting her mind drift.
The log crumbled, covered in soot. It was beautiful to watch it's grey ashy exterior and bright orange interior shining through the cracks of what still could burn. It wouldn't be enough to sustain Ashes overnight with what paltry warmth even the vampire could feel though. Just because Ashes was a Nord didn't mean she was completely invulnerable to the cold as Serana was.
She got up to fetch a couple more logs and braced herself when she returned to the campfire, strategizing where to place her logs. Dumping it in the ashes was tempting, but she knew it would be useless. Even the embers scared her though, and-
Amber eyes. Fire. Ashes. Embers.
Serana dropped the logs. She needed to get it out. She marched quickly to the fire mage and roughly shook her awake, ignoring the stench of fear when the amber orbs snapped open, and Ashes gasped, trying to escape by crawling back.
"Shor's bones, Serana! Why did you wa-"
"Embers. Your name is Embers."
Ashes' jaw hung comically, silenced. Then she grinned mischievously. Serana was sure she had it now.
A head was drawn in the snow.
Author's Note
Shout out to ArielApostolos for all the guesses on Ashes' potential name in your ch.4 review, a nod to you in this chapter for them ;P Thanks to SeraphimicDestiny for always taking the time to review my story too, and thanks to all loyal readers and new followers. See you next chapter! What do you think Ashes' name is ;)?