Toshinori pretended he was sick the next morning. He might've actually been since the thermometer read a fever, but he didn't find any harm in exaggerating his stomach ache.
Dad moved sluggishly and groaned about his headache during breakfast. He had gotten a cup of coffee, which wasn't normal for him, and ate cereal with Toshinori. Neither of them said a word through all of breakfast. Toshinori couldn't fight the reminder of Mom leaving and felt like if he tried to speak, he might cry. If he cried, then Dad would know she left, so he stayed silent.
This was his fault. If he hadn't tried to help Mom after their fight, she wouldn't have left. If he hadn't gone to the doctor, been quirkless, then Mom wouldn't have left. If he was anyone else but himself, then Mom wouldn't have left. Toshinori fought the tears that pricked at the back of his eyes, scooping another spoonful of cereal into his mouth to keep quiet. He couldn't cry if he was eating.
Dad groaned and set his cup down, rubbing at his eyes and head. He sighed out and took another drink before getting up and walking to the bathroom. Toshinori wanted him return with a bottle of medicine -the same he had just given Toshinori for his fever- and he sat back down. Peeking over the top of the cereal box, he watched Dad count out six pills and take all of them at once. His face contorted in a grimace, but went back to the same, tired expression he wore all morning within a few seconds.
Toshinori sunk back down into his chair and swallowed. He went to take another bite, but hesitated. His stomach started to twist and he covered his mouth with one hand. He took several deep breaths through his nose until the nausea left. He uncovered his mouth and let out a long breath. That was close. If he started vomiting, he might get in trouble. Last time he got sick, Mom made him clean it up and didn't let him lay down until he finished.
The thought of getting in trouble made the tears start running. He would get in trouble no matter what he did. Mom left because of him, so Dad was going to get mad. Chills ran up his arms and made him cold. He covered his mouth again, biting into the skin on his fist to keep quiet. He sunk further into his seat, trying to hide from Dad's view.
What if Dad started saying mean things like Mom did? What if Dad grabbed him because he made Mom leave? What if Dad left too? The sobbs got louder and he bit harder into his hand to stay quiet, but all his efforts eventually fell short when his nose started to run. When he felt a large, warm hand on his pack, he let go of his hand and openly cried.
"I-I'm sorry...I didn't-didn't mean to!" He hid his face in his hands. Mom always said he was ugly anyway.
"Toshi." Dad whispered, his tone a strange mixture tired and surprised. "What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry!" HIs entire body shook with every sob. If he admitted to making Mom leave, then he'd get punished. "I'm sorry. I...I don't want...please." He gasped and choked on his words.
"Hey, hey. It's alright, Toshi. It's alright." Those warm hands circled around him, lifting him up from his chair and walked him to the living room. They sat down together on the couch, Toshinori curled up in Dad's lap. Dad's warm voice hushed him softly. "Do you want your song?"
Toshinori slowly nodded. His throat was starting to hurt from crying and he just wanted to stop. His chest pulled and he gasped softly, trying to lessen the pressure.
Dad changed his voice and began singing. It was like listening to a recording, but better. The sound was clear and new. Toshinori could feel the vibrations and let them lull him out of his panic. The song repeated in a hum, a warm hand stroking through his hair. Dad still smelled like his morning coffee but he didn't mind it so much anymore. After the second repeat, the singing stopped and Dad's voice returned, low but soothing. "I'm sorry, my boy. I shouldn't have left you two alone last night. I shouldn't have...I should've been stronger." His voice trailed away and his words confused Toshinori. Dad was the strongest man alive, decide Mudman -but Mudman wasn't necessarily alive.
Dad drew in a shaky breath, the stuttered vibrations humming on Toshinori's back. "I'm sorry she hurt you, Toshi." A warm hand brushed over the sharp marks on his arm, where Mom's nails bruised him. "She just...I'm sorry she doesn't love you like I do. I don't know why, but...maybe if we hadn't…" He paused and shook his head. "Nevermind. I love you, Toshi. Okay?"
Toshinori nodded as he spoke, his voice cracking with nearly every word. "I love you too."
…
Neither of them admitted that Mom had left, but they knew. It showed in the silence filling the house, though it was much preferred over the yelling. It showed in the way Dad worked, slaving over piles of paperwork every single day. It showed in the way Toshinori became dependent. He started walking to the bus stop alone by the age of nine and even went grocery shopping for Dad every Saturday.
It wasn't hard to travel around Tokyo alone. There were plenty of signs and people to help him find his way around the tall buildings and wide streets. Sometimes, Dad would give Toshinori a little extra money to get himself a treat, but it was typically only enough for a small candy bar. Toshinori didn't mind, though. A treat was a treat and as rare as it happened, he enjoyed it. The shopping lists weren't typically long, just a few cans of soup, some rice and maybe some veggies. There wasn't much variety in afternoon meals but after Toshinori started learning to use the oven and how to read a recipe, he started making his own grocery lists.
When the arrangement started, the parents that rode the bus with him looked at him the way the store cashier did. At first, they had looked around the bus for a parent or guardian, but after a week or so, they stopped. Toshinori didn't find it sad or concerning. He just wanted to help Dad out and if that meant going to the store every Saturday, then he'd do it.
Toshinori remembered one particular Saturday. He had been nearly 12 then. Dad was working on a big project and needed Toshinori to spend a bit more time out of the house to not distract him, so he got a bit of extra money to go to the arcade down the street. On that Saturday, there had been a big prison break. Almost thirty villains were on the loose, reeking havoc however they wanted. Toshinori missed the news report about it as he walked out the front door.
The bus ride was uneventful as ever but the extra money in his pocket felt like a new secret. Like he'd been given a birthday gift, something special. Just for him. It hadn't been a shy amount either. Sure, it wouldn't grant him access to all the arcade had to offer, but he could manage about an hour of games.
On his way to the store, Toshinori passed a new store: Heroes In General. He couldn't help but stop and stare. It was a comic book store. Those were getting more rare with the new laws for real heroes getting passed. If there were real heroes parading around the streets, then why would anyone want to read about the fake ones? Toshinori hated the idea that the people who ran around their streets called themselves heroes. They were just villains who were paid by the government. They didn't save lives, they just hurt those who could've potentially put others in danger. Toshinori had heard about heroes accidentally killing villains and even civilians with their quirks. There was a recent case about a hero arresting someone with a spike mutation quirk and they were locked up simply because they "looked threatening."
Toshinori pushed the glass door open and looked around the isles. There were a few others in the shop, but not many. He let his fingers trace the many comics books and magazines before coming across anything he hadn't read before. He owned only a few of them, but the local library provided a good selection. He stopped and looked at the book front and back. It was wrapped in plastic to avoid getting read in the shop and decreasing its value.
It was one of the last volumes of Mudman ever published. He had been one of Toshinori's very favorite heroes, but with the new political stances, that too fell out of business. He remembered reading it on Dad's computer and how he cried. Toshinori checked the spare change he had again, debating whether it would be worth getting or not. The library would likely get rid of all their copies soon, since most of them were so old and misused they were practically shreds. Maybe having a brand new coy would be nice.
"Hey, kid. If you even think about taking that, I'll bash your head in." Toshinori jumped at the voice and nearly ripped the magazine in half.
"No! No, I was just looking!" He shook his head, holding the comic close. Great. He was already attached to it.
The short man gave him a disapproving huff before walking away. Toshinori slowly turned away and put the comic back. It wasn't worth wasting Dad's money. He let out a long breath and continued to look around the isles. Not long after, he found a game section but nothing was really within his price range. There were a few action figures and pins, but nothing too interesting. The comic came into mind again. Technically, a comic book would last longer than a trip to the arcade. Besides, Dad always liked to see him reading, so wouldn't it be better for both of them?
Toshinori picked up the comic again and headed for the front desk. It wasn't being dishonest. Dad wanted him out of the house for a few hours and he could just spend the time reading. The park should be five blocks or so away. The plan was perfect. Well, except for one detail. The man already at the counter had a gun out and was shouting at everyone to get down or he'd shoot.
Toshinori could hear knees hitting the floor from the three other customers. He saw them kneel before he had even finished his sentence. The man kept yelling things at the cashier, asking for him to fill the bag with money and quickly.
There was a phone near the front entrance of the store, just above a woman's head. There was also a call button on the side of the counter. Every store had one, Toshinori knew that. Making eye contact with the woman below the phone, he hissed and gestured to the phone. She looked up at it but shook her head, somehow curling further into herself.
"Move faster! I'll blow your head off if the heroes show up!"
It made Toshinori mad. How could someone be too scared to take a clear call for help? How could someone with a gun quirk control others so easily. Even the cashier was too scared to reach for the small button. It wouldn't make a sound. The villain wouldn't even know, but he didn't even try.
Toshinori rose to his feet, messenger bag sagging against his side and money jiggling in his pocket. He gripped the comic book tighter in his hand. He sucked in a long breath before running toward the villain. As he ran, he grabbed one of the large display cases and used his momentum to smash in into the villain's back. The case shattered, sending shards of glass and action figures everywhere. The villain screamed, arching his back and falling to the floor.
It took almost a minute of the villain staying on the floor, shouting about the pain in his back, before the cashier pressed the button. The police were there before the villain could even stand.
Everything else happened quickly. Police strapped the pan with quirk suppression cuffs and walked him out, grimacing at the cuts in his back. Toshinori stood still, a few shards sticking to his hand. One of the officers asked the cashier who had broken the case and when she was directed to Toshinori, her amazed expression fell. In all honesty, he'd expected a lecture. After having to admit to being quirkless, the disappointed expression fell even further.
"You do realize that you won't have been able to help yourself had he gotten up and decided to shoot you."
Toshinori kept his arguments to himself. Anyone else would've been just as defenseless.
"Do you realize how much property you'd destroyed with your fake heroics? You'll be lucky if the owner doesn't sue your parents for letting you out alone."
Dad would hate him if he got sued for something Toshinori did. He wouldn't blame him.
"I'm calling your parents. Do you have a phone number or address to give me?"
Toshinori couldn't ignore her this time. "Ma'am, I'm sorry! You don't need to call anyone! I won't repeat this aga-"
"Officer, I'll handle him." The cashier gave Toshinori a dark look. Suddenly, calling Dad didn't seem so bad.
"Alright. I apologize, sir. Have a good day."
Once the police cars had left, the cashier tore the magazine from his hands. He hadn't even realized he was still holding it. The same magazine came down on his head several times. "You're stupid, kid. I better not see you in here again, little thief. Now get out."
Toshinori nodded slowly before running out. At least he had avoided bothering Dad. Maybe he'd be better off at the arcade anyway.
A new idea bloomed into his mind. If people had someone to count on to feel safe, then maybe villains wouldn't feel too powerful. Like a lucky charm. What if there was someone that could make everyone safe? Like a Symbol of safety and security. A Symbol of Peace.
…
When Toshinori got home with the groceries and half the money he'd been given for games, Dad was on the floor. At first, he looked like he might've fallen asleep working -he liked to stretch out while typing on his computer- but one look around told him that Dad had been drinking. There were a few empty beer cans and not a single sign that he'd been working.
Typically, when Dad drank, it was out of the house and late at night. Toshinori hated seeing it now. Had Dad kicked him out to drink? Of course he did. He didn't want to worry about a stupid child while trying to forget about Mom. Toshinori was probably more of a reminder than distraction. His blonde hair, broad nose and blue eyes. Even his tanned skin came from Mom. How had Dad not left him yet? Toshinori wondered every day.
The drinking became more and more common from that Saturday on. Dad eventually stopped making Toshinori leave when he drank but he was never available during that time. If Dad walked into his room with a can of beer or a bottle of whiskey, he was no longer a parent. Toshinori didn't have the right to count on anyone but himself for those long hours until his hangover wore off.
As Dad started drinking more and more often, they stopped communicating. Sometimes, the only time they'd actually talk was when dinner was ready or on a holiday. By the time Toshinori was 14, Dad drank nearly every day. Sometimes, late at night, he'd use his quirk to pretend Mom was still there and it haunted Toshinori. Hearing her say Dad's name reminded him of yelling and screaming. Curses and slurs all thrown at their useless child. Of course, Dad never said those things. He whispered sweet nothings to himself and that made Toshinori's heart break.
Toshinori had gone a full week without speaking to Dad -a record time- the day he met Nana.
Author's Notes: I didn't mention anything about school in this, but I figured that others just ignored quirkless people instead of straight up abusing them like Izuku. In this time, there were more quirkless people, but it was still rare. Izuku's time is worse for quirkless individuals, though.