Chapter 5 - Mahal Knows
Eryn's exit didn't go exactly as she had pictured in her mind, she wanted a good comeback, a witty quip or a biting comment toward the mean things said about her, but that just wasn't who she was. Eryn was the type of person to think of a good comeback three weeks later in the shower while she re-lived the entire scenario, because something reminded her of whatever the circumstance was. She wasn't lazy, she wasn't a burden, she wasn't incompetent. These were all things she had heard before and at one time she used to believe them, but now she had no choice but to face the facts that she wasn't the sum of words spoken, even her own, she would be defined by action taken. Besides, they didn't know her and she didn't know them, the assumption seemed a bit unfair.
She walked up the stairs that lead above the veranda of the patio, the view was breathtaking, waterfalls, trees, rivers, incredible gardens, Eryn was so overwhelmed with the sight that she slowed her ascent. She looked down at the veranda, the flicker of fire was still dancing on the floor and laughter could be heard again.
She noticed a dark figure on the patio approach the railing and lean on it wearily, she could see that it was Thorin. His hair had fallen around his face masking most of it from view, he seemed to be pinching the bridge of his nose, clearly distressed. He opened his eyes and looked up the stairs after her, their eyes met for only a moment before Eryn broke away, embarrassed and hurried up the stairs.
As she approached the first turn of the stairs, she noticed someone standing there, overlooking the waterfalls. "Bilbo!" Eryn called out, scaring him.
"Oh, hello again." he paused to look behind her as a holler of laughter bellowed from below. "Miss Fey, am I correct?" he smiled at her.
"Yes, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." Eryn offered her own warm smile in return.
"What are you doing about so late?" He inquired.
"I've been a bit busy today and I haven't had a chance to eat until now." She walked closer to him and leaned on the railing that overlooked the most breathtaking sight she'd ever seen, Eryn sighed.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" Bilbo said awfully. He sighed as well, he also seemed like he had a lot on his mind.
"It's absolutely incredible." She paused to take in the splendor of the evening air, the crisp breeze and the smell of campfire mixed with something that smelled like jasmine. "Why are you up here and not with the others?" she asked Bilbo, although she could guess why.
"They won't be missing me." He said, rocking on his heels as he did when he was nervous or uneasy. "In fact, I know that none of them particularly like me."
"I certainly know the feeling." Eryn sighed. "Give it time, they'll warm up to you." She smiled down at him again, he shifted his eyes towards her unsure of what to make of the unknown woman standing next to him.
"I'm certain not. I don't even know why I came." He admitted, looking down. "I'm no help, I miss home, I'm not even a burglar."
"You are far more capable than you think, Bilbo." Eryn placed a hand on his small shoulder and gave it a pat.
"You sound like Gandalf." He chuckled.
"Well, Gandalf is a wise wizard, and I'm a wise…." she paused trying to think of a word to describe herself. "Lady." Eryn poorly settled. "Think of it this way, if more than one person said so, it must be true, right?" She chuckled.
"Maybe so." He gave her a halfhearted smile.
"I know so! All you need is a little encouragement and…" Eryn trailed off; Gandalf's words came to mind right before he left her, leaving her to the wolves. "...The right motivation." That was it, she could try and blunt-force her way into the company with snide remarks and being a 'know it all' or she could just be herself and encourage with motivation. She was kicking herself internally because of how easy it really was.
"What did you mean? You know the feeling?" Bilbo asked, breaking her train of thought. "Surely they don't dislike you." His cheeks grew a bit rosy and Eryn smiled at the endearment of his statement.
"Well, I'm not exactly a crowd favorite." Eryn admitted "But, I look forward to getting to know them, if they'll let me join them anyway. Some of them want to like me, but Thorin is a bit hard to convince." She placed her head in her hands as she leaned on the stone railing. "I'm obviously an outsider, but I want to help so desperately."
"Why is that? You're not even from Middle Earth. Your cares, I assume, would be elsewhere." He responded and then pursed his lips in confusion. Eryn raised her head and looked at the Hobbit, who was staring at her intently.
"Well… to put it blatantly, with no disrespect to Hobbits, I love Dwarves. Their passion and dedicated nature always amazed me, they can endure things that most can't and shouldn't. I want to help them take back their home and go home in the process. Everyone deserves to have a home." She looked down at the pools below and sighed once more. Rivendell was breathtaking, fare more than she could have ever imagined, even her own distant reflection in the water looked different than she remembered, it's like this place simply was beauty and everything in it responded in kind.
"You know, I've always wanted to see this place." Eryn spoke again after a few moments of silence. "When I was a little girl, I would cry because I would never get to see Rivendell, the Shire or Erebor, those places were only in a book for me, my imagination has done it a great disservice." she laughed under her breath.
"You've always wanted to see the Shire, why?" Bilbo questioned with astonishment.
"Because there is something so special about Hobbits as well. Your knack for making a hole in the ground into a home is amazing, plus I hear you're cracking good cooks." She laughed at the blush spreading over his cheeks. "To you it seems the small things don't go unnoticed."
"And Erebor?" He asked looking back out over the trees.
"Well, it's a sight to behold from what I've read, and the history is really incredible." Eryn's mind was beginning to flood with the unnecessary amount of information she learned over years of obsessive reading and study. "Did you know that long ago Aulë fashioned the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves in secret under the mountains of Middle Earth? Before the awakening of Elves or man." Bilbo looked astonished.
"I've never heard anything about Dwarves, or where they came from." he said narrowing his eyes, mulling over the information given to him.
"Aulë is the Master Smith, master of all types of craft and skills, he loves to make things and even fashioned the mountains of Middle Earth. He also loves to teach these crafts, which is why he made the Dwarves, so they could learn his craft."
"Ilúvatar, The Creator, didn't like that Aulë had made them in secret, so Ilúvatar forbade the coming of the Dwarves before his Firstborn Children, the Elves. To restore peace, Aulë put the Dwarf Fathers to sleep under the mountain until Ilúvatar awakened the Elves." Eryn stopped again to catch her breath, she loved sharing information and sometimes spoke faster than her lungs could keep up, Bilbo leaned in closer, intent on the story being told.
"The Dwarves know him as Mahal, the 'Maker', they consider him their father and teacher rather than Ilúvatar. When Ilúvatar challenged Aulë's right to make the Dwarves, Aulë took up his hammer, ready to destroy his creation. But Iluvatar stopped him as soon as he saw the Dwarf Lords recoil in fear, Ilúvatar saw that they were creatures with life of their own."
Bilbo still didn't say anything, he seemed to be a good listener, as he only nodded his head in understanding, and pressed his lips into a hard line, he was so expressive it made Eryn smile.
"One of the Seven Dwarf Lords, was Durin the Deathless, Thorin is a descendant of the line of Durin. So are Balin, Dwalin, as well as Oin and Gloin if I remember correctly, though I've yet to meet them." Eryn smiled at Bilbo widely, and he could see the excitement on her face.
Bilbo leaned back from the railing, stretching the tension from his back. "How do you know so much about Dwarf history, Miss Fey?"
"I just read. A lot. Dwarf history is told in my world, just differently." She didn't know how Bilbo would take being told he was just a story where she was from.
"How do you mean, different?" He inquired.
Eryn opened her mouth to speak, but a voice caught both her and Bilbo's attention.
"Of course, I was going to tell you, I was waiting for this very chance, and really I think you can trust that I know what I am doing." Gandalf's voice came from somewhere on the grounds, Eryn and Bilbo both searched to find his location.
"Do you?" Lord Elrond's voice replied. "That Dragon has slept for sixty years, what will happen if your plan should fail? If you wake that beast?"
Eryn looked down towards the ponds and saw Gandalf walking across a bridge below with Lord Elrond. Both her and Bilbo leaned forward, exchanging the look of two children eavesdropping on their mother and father. Knowing full well they shouldn't, but they were absolutely going to.
"What if we succeed?" Gandalf countered. "If the Dwarves take back the mountain, our defenses in the East will be strengthened. With Miss Fey's knowledge, the chances of success are hardly hindered. If anything this should help us a great deal."
"It is a dangerous move, Gandalf. Even with Miss Fey's help, you cannot promise no harm will come from this." Elrond shot back, he seemed to be more bothered than he was letting on.
"It is also dangerous to do nothing." Gandalf defended. "Oh, come. The throne of Erebor is Thorin's birthright, what is it you fear?"
Bilbo and Eryn exchanged another look, the conversation was becoming quite personal, Bilbo shifted backwards first, turning. Eryn followed his gaze, only to find Thorin himself leaning on the stair rail behind them, his arms crossed in front of his body, this was the most thoughtful Eryn had seen him all day. He was looking pensively past the two standing before him, listening to the accusations that were to be presented about him.
"Have you forgotten?" Lord Elrond asked. "A strain of madness runs deep in that family." Thorin's demeanor changed at those words, his brow set deep in disapproval. "His grandfather lost his mind, his father succumbed to the same sickness, can you swear Thorin Oakensheild will not also fall?" At those words, Thorin looked away, wounded, Eryn could tell that those words hurt him greatly.
"Gandalf, these decisions do not rest with us alone. It is not up to you or to me to redraw the map of Middle Earth." Lord Elrond said but this time his words were sterner, almost as if he was correcting a child.
"With, or without our help, these Dwarves will march on the mountain. They are determined to reclaim their homeland. I do not believe that Thorin Oakenshield feels that he is answerable to anyone, nor for that matter, am I." Gandalf's voice was barely audible by this point and Eryn couldn't hear well beyond the roar of the waterfall
Eryn turned to face Thorin and Bilbo, his brow set deeper than before. "Go." He commanded, both Eryn and Bilbo made to leave but he held out his hand to stop them. "Only you Master Baggins. I would like to speak with Miss Fey." Bilbo gave Eryn an apologetic look, then darted off back down the stairs.
"So, tell me." He began, leaning once again on the stair railing, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. "How is it that you know so much about my people? About Mahal no less." His voice was threatening in the gentlest way possible, perhaps it was the deep tone of his voice that made it sound so welcoming, it was smooth and warm.
"How much of our conversations did you hear?" She asked, slightly confused, does he keep missing the times she explained it? More importantly, did he hear the 'I love dwarves' speech? If so, Eryn wanted to crawl under a rock.
"Enough." He said, a small smirk played at the corner of his mouth, she was sure he heard. Eryn wished that whoever this Mahal guy was would strike her dead with his hammer instead. This was the first time Eryn had seen him do anything that resembled a smile, and it made her even more nervous.
"You've heard me explain myself on multiple occasions." Eryn started, but paused to find the right way to word her question. "You heard most of Lord Elrond and Gandalf inquiries, why do you keep asking a question you already know the answer to?" She stopped and looked down uncomfortably, she didn't mean to word her question so strongly.
"Because I do not trust you." He said flatly. "How does a woman from another world walk through a door to ours? Nothing in any of my readings has told of this." He pursed his lips. "More importantly, no woman such as yourself would want to aid in our quest. You must want something in return. If it's gold you're after, you can-" He started, but Eryn was too beyond disbelief to let him finish.
"I thought you said you heard enough of our conversation?" Eryn charged. "I don't want your gold! I want to help you because I can, and I couldn't live with myself if I let you attempt this kind of quest without it. I know you don't trust me and that's fine, I want to earn your trust, if I can. But don't think for a second that I want to help you for profit, there is nothing that you have that I want." Eryn crossed her arms tightly across her chest as well. "As for how a woman 'such as myself' walk through a door to Middle-Earth, well, I guess only Mahal knows." she shrugged as a gust of wind blew by, causing her to shudder.
"Mahal." Thorin said under his breath, raking his hand over his face down to his beard. "The wizard insists you can help us. What say you?"
"I would like to try." She nodded, looking down at her black Converse shoes, tapping her heels. "Besides, it's only to Mirkwood. You can just dump me at the entrance and go about your merry way. Wait. When did you speak to Gandalf?" Eryns mind was lacking in any current awareness of time.
"While you dined, I found the Wizard, sipping a glass of wine no less, and inquired as to why he insists upon you coming with us." He huffed, seemingly displeased.
"What did he say?" Eryns eyes narrowed, what could the wizard have told him to make this immovable rock budge?
Thorin raised himself from his relaxed position and stepped closer to her, she noticed that they were similar in height, she could look him square in the eye, but was perhaps slightly taller by half an inch or so. She bit the inside of her cheek, anticipating him to reject her, but he remained silent for a moment, his eyes held hers, seemed to be looking for something though Eryn couldn't say what; he examined her for what felt like an eternity before finally answering.
"I will warn you, do not expect to be coddled, you carry your own weight." He stood tall and distinguished before her. "I am not responsible for you reaching Mirkwood, alive or otherwise. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Eryn said in a soft voice, though that didn't answer her question. Thorin simply bowed his head diagonally towards her, not once breaking eye contact. He then turned quickly and descended the stairs.
"Now, pack your things quickly, we're leaving."