Fujimura Taiga was certain something strange was going on.
She didn't know why she thought it but recently some things seemed to feel... a bit off.
But she wasn't going to let that stop her from getting her morning meal off Shirou… Sakura would probably also be there like she usually was.
Sure it was Sunday but it wasn't like they'd turn her away, honestly they'd be even more shocked if she didn't turn up.
And so she barged into the house and prepared herself to yell the name of her little brother figure…
Before she found herself stopping and staring.
She blinked at the sight before her, rubbed her eyes and blinked again.
"…"
WHY THE HELL WERE MATOU SHINJI AND A BLONDE STRANGER STANDING AROUND IN FRENCH MAID UNIFORMS?!
She couldn't do anything more than stare in disbelief at the sight before her.
And so she decided to do what any normal person would do… and ignore the two males dressed in those scandalous maid outfits and went to see if Shirou had made breakfast yet.
He wasn't there.
She began to wonder if this was a strange dream, Shirou was always awake before her, so was Sakura for that matter, so clearly they should be in the kitchen or dining room right about now…
No, there was no way she would dream of Sakura and Shirou being anywhere but the kitchen.
So she pinched herself to make sure… ow…. Yes this was not a dream…
She began to feel a certain level of trepidation as she headed towards the room of her young charge, knowing that something seriously wrong must be happening if he wasn't up by now… and she was still concerned about the two she had seen upon entering the house and how they seemed to want to ignore her as much as possible.
Ah, there it was, the door to Shirou's bedroom, she would just open it and…
Her mind froze upon opening the door.
That was not Shirou.
Neither was that…
Or that…
Or that…
Oh, there he was, currently laying under the dark haired girl with a deformed arm… with Tohsaka Rin attached to one arm, Sakura attached to another, his sister resting his head on her cleavage, the blonde girl that had introduced herself as an acquaintance of Kiritsugu attached to a leg, a beautiful woman with light bluish hair and pointy ears gripping his other leg and lastly a woman with a blindfold and long purple hair resting Sakura's head in her cleavage…
What really caught her attention however was that not one of them was wearing a single piece of clothing.
Her brain began to struggle between two possible options, the first option was to shut down upon seeing her 'little brother' in such a compromising position… however it was the second option that won this time around.
"SHIROU!"
XXX XXX XXX
Well… that morning was definitely awkward.
To think, he'd had sex with seven women in one night and had been caught in the aftermath by Fuji-nee.
He didn't regret it though.
"Shi-rou…" she definitely seemed angry at him, especially now that Ilya and Sakura had decided to… help him eat.
Well… at least now he finally understood why Lancer kept laughing at him.
Though now he was pretty sure the Irishman was laughing at the fact he had finally figured out why.
To think, he'd never even considered the possibility that a girl could like him like that.
"Nii-san," Sakura promptly said, causing Shinji to walk over with a pained expression on his face… maybe putting him under a geass that forced him to be completely subservient to Sakura had been a tad cruel, "we're low on supplies… please go to the shops and buy some more."
Shirou knew that excuse was a complete lie, he could simply create more food if he ever wanted… which meant she just wanted to send him out in that outfit.
"C-can I at least change first?" he sounded truly distraught over that order.
"Nope," the girl that had helped out around his house for over a year said with a bright smile.
"Sakura… why is your brother wearing… that?" Fuji-nee asked, he knew exactly why… it was vengeance for raping her… not that they'd let Fuji-nee know that.
Besides, given the way she was currently glaring at everyone… Shirou decided it was probably best to deal with her properly right now.
"Caster… can you please deal with Fuji-nee?" he asked, earning a grin off the hooded woman.
"Of course master," she said before pointing her hand at the hyperactive teacher.
"Master?" were her last words before falling back in a dead faint.
"There, when she wakes up, she shouldn't recognise any problem with having found us together… or with the slaves wearing maid outfits," Medea said with a smile.
"Damn you… I am a king, not a slave!" the blonde King of Kings stated with anger clear in his tone.
"Then why don't you try to defy your masters orders?" her smirk said it all.
With the amount of prana he put into that command seal, the effect was far more powerful than even three full command seals could be, despite the general command that was given.
The red eyed servant would not be defying him any time soon, that was for certain.
"So… does anyone know where the grail is kept?" he decided to ask, causing Ilya to smile viciously.
"Oh, of course I know where it is," she said with a grin, "do you want to go?"
"Ah, well… Assassin wants to destroy it and Saber wants a wish granted so…" he muttered quietly, earning several sighs off the rest who just knew this was probably going to the second biggest problem of the war.
The biggest had always been getting through Shirou's thick skull.
They still had to find a way to make him believe he wasn't using projection.
"Alright then... should we go now or do something about Fujimura-sensei?" Rin asked with a bland expression.
"Uh..." well, it looks like they just had that decision taking out of their hands, "what happened?"
Fuji-nee was groggy as she got up, shaking her head clear before looking at them all and then quietly dismissing the closeness between him and the others... before she started to clutch her head and grimace.
"Wha?... urgh..." the noises she was making were much more pained than usual and Shirou found himself growing truly worried out her health.
"Caster? What's going on?" he asked as calmly as he could, knowing that a panic would only cause more issues.
"We've been messing with her mind too much in too short a time, her brain is rejecting the latest batch of hypnosis," she stated bluntly, causing him to freeze in terror... if Fuji-nee couldn't be hypnotised anymore then...
"SHIROU! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" the yell was just as he expected from the Tiger and he prayed things wouldn't get too out of hand.
XXX XXX XXX
He had to admit, having members of the Tohsaka, Matou and Einzbern families there made explaining everything to Fuji-nee so much easier.
They had explained everything to the woman and informed her that if she told anyone about it she would be hunted down and killed by the mages association.
While it was certainly not pleasant to see the woman that was like a little sister to him (he had always been the mature one of the two despite her being older), it appeared to have gotten the woman to quiet down a little.
What she said next however really caught him off guard.
"Wait... so you mean my grandfather wasn't joking about Kiritsugu being a magical assassin?" pretty much everyone did a spit take at that question.
"WHAT?!" he couldn't believe it... the thought that Fujimura Raiga knowing that his father was a magus was just wrong, there was no way...
But then again, Raiga had apparently knowing him from before he retired so it was possible the man had managed to learn of Kiritsugu's status at some point.
"Yeah, he kept telling me that Kiritsugu was a magical assassin and that I must not tell anyone," the woman with light brown hair said with a surprised expression on her face, "I always thought he was making fun of me."
All this time... all this time and all those memory alterations and they hadn't needed to do a single one?
Shirou felt like banging his head against the table.
"Though it doesn't excuse you sleeping with seven women!" and he quickly found himself on the receiving end of her fury again, "how did you even get them to agree to such a thing?!"
"To be fair," Lancer said while downing a bottle of beer, "they're the ones that jumped him, hell, even sticking their tongues down his throat couldn't get it through that thick skull of his."
Silence reigned at that before...
"What?"
Taiga sounded far less angry and far more deadly now.
"Are you telling me that they forced my little brother?" oh... crap, now she was close to trying to kill them.
"It wasn't exactly forced... just really... really unexpected," he decided to point out, once he had finally managed to realise just what was happening... well, he was more than happy to cooperate.
"SHIROU!"
XXX XXX XXX
Shirou had to admit, calming the angry tiger was not an easy task but they had eventually managed to succeed... albeit temporarily, by putting her to sleep and having Caster return her to her home.
According to the servant of the spell, Raiga had been surprised at her sudden appearance but understood exactly what was going on.
And even explained that he knew all about the existence of magecraft due to having people tail Kiritsugu every now and then.
Apparently they had witnessed and recorded some of the Fourth Grail War first hand.
So he knew not to push a servant.
But now, they were finally on their way towards the true location of the Holy Grail... and Saber and Assassin were getting some seriously strange looks.
Then again, given how they had not been bought any casual clothes yet, it really wasn't that surprising.
"I will not let you destroy it," Saber stated seriously, causing Assassin to glare at her.
"I will prove my faith," it was the only response of the girl that had altered her body to better use all the techniques of the previous Hassan.
"As an important Christian artefact I cannot allow you to destroy it, no matter what you may desire," the petite blond stated bluntly, causing a certain level of killing intent to flood the street and make several people freeze in their tracks or hurry away from their location.
Then Ilya leaned over to the blonde servant and whispered something into her ear for roughly ten seconds.
"Are you serious?" the servant of the sword asked with shock clear in her tone, earning a nod off the white haired girl, "I see..."
"I will destroy... the grail," once more Assassin stated her caused, earning a sigh off the blonde knight.
"In the face of your faith... my will to deny you withers... I shall not attempt to stop you," Shirou began to wonder why the girl was now standing down... though Assassin seemed to take it for face value.
"Ilya... what did you tell Saber?" he asked quietly, hoping Assassin couldn't hear him.
And then his 'sister' leaned into his ear and said three words that made him snort.
"It's a fake."
XXX XXX XXX
It took about an hour, but they eventually managed to clear Mount Enzou of everyone that was currently there and set up a bounded field capable of hiding the summoning of the Grail.
"So... all we have to do is pour enough prana into this circle and the Grail should be summoned?" Shirou asked, earning a nod off Ilya.
"Yes, normally it would take the souls of the servants entering to summon it... but with the amount of prana you can produce, you should be capable of bypassing that restriction," she stated seriously.
"Alright then, let's summon this," and with that statement, he pushed some prana into the circle that would summon the Grail... if he was right then he was probably putting about one hundred servants worth of power into it and sure enough, the results began to show themselves.
It was massive, a tower of black and red with matching mud running down it.
"Seriously?" an unfamiliar voice called out, causing him to look towards the owner of the voice.
He was surprised to see a young man with spiky black hair, tanned skin with tattoos covering every inch of his flesh and wearing a red cloak wrapped around his waist and a red headband.
"You go about stealing servants because you don't want to kill anyone and then you go ahead and summon me anyway?" the voice of the person definitely sounded wrong, "are you ignorant or just plain stupid?"
"Uh... who are you?" it was all he could do, he had no idea who this person was after all.
"Who am I? I am the voice inside your... wait, no... that's not quite right..." the stranger muttered, "you don't have any dark impulses... at all."
"What do you mean?" he really didn't understand what this person was going on about.
"I am Servant Avenger," wait, another servant? Just how many are there? "also called Angra Mainyu, all the worlds evils!"
"I wouldn't have expected all the worlds evils to look so... human," Rin stated with an unimpressed expression adorning her face.
Only for the stranger to suddenly turn into a shadow like being.
"Would you rather speak to me like this?" it asked.
"Point taken," and with that the final servant took on the image it used when they first met it.
"You know, I really should thank you," it said with a grin, "with the amount of prana you've given me I was able to create a new body for myself and will be more than capable of destroying every last human on this planet... maybe even as fast as the spider or dog."
Then a knife touched his throat and a cheery voice cut through the cavern.
"Rule Breaker," and with that Shirou found himself feeling yet another contract forming with him.
"Oh... that is so not fair," and with that, the red head decided it was probably best to give Avenger the same command he gave Gilgamesh.
With the power of about ten thousand servants he gave the order.
"Avenger, I command you to obey me," and with that he gained possession of all the worlds evils.
"I hate you," was the only thing to leave Avengers mouth upon receiving his first order.
He was going to join Gilgamesh and Shinji as a maid and was forbidden from harming anyone.
And with that, he was made to leave
"Alright," he said upon taking note of the Grail that was still present and filled with prana, "so, Assassin, are you going to destroy it now?"
He had to blink a couple of times upon seeing her sitting crossed legged with a frown on her face.
"It is... a bit bigger than I thought it would be," she was definitely deep in thought before she eventually rose from her seated position and then pulled out a knife and started to stab at the massive structure...
This was going to take awhile.
XXX XXX XXX
Eventually the servant of stealth managed to figure out one thing, the Grail was a living thing made of flesh and as soon as she had, she simply touched it... and it promptly exploded.
Really... to think it had been so simple to destroy.
Afterwards he decided it was finally time to go home... though first he would have to buy his servants some casual clothes... then he froze and nearly facepalmed... why should he buy them clothes when he could just make them?
And with that thought in mind he returned home, ready to face a furious Tiger once more.
At least he would have good nights for the rest of his life if last night was any indication of what was to come... which would probably be everyone.