Disclaimer: I don't own Young Justice or anything referenced in this story. I only own Kenna and any other character I add to this story!

I'm reckless and selfish, i'm feeling defenseless.

Even at my best i'm still feeling like a mess,

I'm not proud of who I've been, I know I gotta grow.

I live with a temper that never gets better.

It's ripping me to shreds, It's still burning in my head.

I'm not proud of who I've been, I know I gotta grow.

-Bound to Break-

This Wild Life

Have you ever hit that point when you no longer can pretend that everything is okay? That fake smile you put on everyday that now crumbles like everything else in life. Kenna had hit that point, and this was something she may not be able to bounce back from. What was she supposed to do when everything collapses around you? She was broken, knowing that none of her facades could hide the crushing emotions that consumed her. The gleam in her eye no longer existed, leaving behind the compromised and emotionless shell.

Kenna had not spoken a words since the incident, voluntarily falling mute. The only solace she found was when she could ignore the world, headphones in with the volume cranked so up so loud that it was a miracle that her ears hadn't begun to bleed. It had been a week since the failed exercise and like her, the rest of the team had yet to bounce back. The team was physically present but there minds were somewhere lost in a world of despair. No one acted as they normally would, even Connor who rarely should more than anger or a stoic expressions seemed to be distraught. He had that look in his eyes that said his emotions were eating him alive. Kenna's eyes shifted around the room to glance at her teammates. M'gann stood in the kitchen, a mixing bowl in her grasp as she stirred the contents at snail pace. Artemis and Wally were perched on one of the couches, an entire couch cushion between them. Superboy stood behind them, leaning his back against the wall and like the clone, Kaldur leaned against the counter. Both males stared at the floor, their gazes lifeless. Robin sat in the arms chair that Kenna normally perched in, his body slumped back. Like the other's Robin's expression reeked of melancholy. Taking a deep breath, the boy wonder moved his gaze to the side. His cloaked eyes fell on the small blonde who had huddled on the floor.

Kenna had distanced herself from the others, opting to retreat back into herself. She sat as far away from the group as she possibly could without them realizing that she putting space between them. Although that seemed like a moot point considering that no one was really considering each other presents at the moment. Her knees were pulled to her chest, short arms wrapping around them to cocoon herself. Her chin came to rest upon her knees, eyes glazed over as she stared at the carpet.

"Connor?" At the sound of the familiar, the teens turned their direction towards the newcomer. Dinah spoke the words, gesturing for the clone to follow her. That's right, Batman had sent the blonde in to give individual therapy sessions with each member of the team. Kenna's eyes caught Dinah's worried glance as she watched the clone follow her mentor out of the kitchen, the pair disappearing around the corner. Shifting again, her eyes came to find the same spot on the carpet. She was dreading this whole situation. She knew sooner or later that she would be forced to talk about what she experienced but she didn't want to talk about it. Okay maybe that was a lie. Kenna wanted to voice her thoughts, her feelings but if they were spoke that means she couldn't take them back. She would be burdening some one else with her problems and Kenna didn't know if she could do that. The other problem was even if she could express herself, she didn't know how to do it. Kenna was the person who suffered in silence; who lived life as if it were a war. A war that you fight until you win or you die trying. So there she sat on the floor, drowning in her thoughts and feelings. It was evident that she wasn't okay, far from it in fact.

"Hurting? Try traumatized. I finally become leader, and wind up sending all of my friends to their deaths." Robin said, lacing his fingers together as his arms leaned on his knees. The teen avoided eye contact as he tried to formulate his words. There was so much to say yet he didn't seem to know how to say it. Between his leadership, his friends death and the situation that had occurred with Kenna, Robin didn't know where to start. Taking a deep breath, Robin glanced up from his laced fingers and looked at the older woman. She gazed at him with stoic expression but her could see the empathy in her eyes.

"I-I know I did what I had to, but I hated it. When we started this team, I was desperate to be in charge, but not anymore. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I lead them knowing I may have to send the people I care about to their deaths. Each one's death weighed down on my shoulders, especially Kenna's." Dinah raised an eyebrow, leaning forward in her chair.

"Why Kenna's death more than the others?" She found herself inquiring. Robin turned his head to the side to gaze at the small waterfall that was present in the room, taking in a shaky breath before speaking.

"W-when I made the calls that I did, I knew that I could be sending them to their deaths. But there was still that small bit of hope that they could come back alive. But Kenna…" He paused, his words momentarily getting caught in his throat. Biting his lip, Robin turned back to look at the older woman.

"Kenna… I knew she wouldn't be coming back. There was no hope that she would survive. I knew exactly what she was doing and didn't stop her. I let my best friend practically commit suicide and did nothing about it." Dinah took a deep breath, letting the information wash over her. So she had practically taken her own life. Her protege; the girl she acknowledged as her daughter had been so traumatized by the deaths of her friends that she had taken her life into her own hands.

"A-and that's not even the worst of it." Blinking rapidly, Dinah glanced back up. She hadn't realized that Robin had begun speaking again. She gave him a nod to indicate for him to continue.

"You can't tell Batman." Robin stated, his voice slightly cracking. He looked at her in desperation, hoping that this could remain a secret between them.

"Nothing leaves this room." She reassured in a soft voice. Robin nodded, putting his head back down to stare at the dark fabric of his jeans.

"I always wanted, expected t-to grow up a-and become him. A-And the hero bit? I'm still all in. But that thing inside of him? The thing t-that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of his mission. That's not me." He spoke, his resolve beginning to crack.

"I-I don't want to be the Batman anymore."

It was finally her turn, something that she had not been looking forward to. How could she be? In a minute, Dinah would try to get her face her fears, to voice her thoughts and feelings. Her body fidgeted in the chair, a sense of deja vu rushing over her senses. She was uncomfortable in this environment and it reminded her of the first night in the cave, the night she spent in the med bay talking to Dinah after the boys had saved her from Cadmus. Her head was bowed, arms wrapped around the knees that she had pulled to her chest in a weak attempt to close herself off. Her hair fell around her face in a curtain and she used it to hide even more. Her fingers griped the hem of each of the sleeves to her crewneck sweatshirt. She said words but she could feel the holes that Dinah was staring into her skull.

"McKenna, sweetheart we are going to have to talk about this soon or later. I need to know how you are feeling so I can help you." Dinah spoke, looking at her in worry. Something changed inside, like a switch had been flipped which released all her emotions at once.

"How I feel?" She bitterly laughed, raising her head to look at her mentor. Her eyebrows scrunched together and her eyes began to burn, a frown etched on her lips.

"I feel alone, like I can't let people in. I'll only get hurt. I feel scared, not only people and places, but of myself too. What if I lose control? I feel guilty that it's all my fault that i'm like this. I just can't seem to change myself." She croaked, glancing back down to look at the small balls of lint that were attached to her leggings.

"But I always wonder how it is possible that I have all these feelings, and still feel nothing?" She asked to know one in particular. Dinah's furrowed her brow in confusion, her mouth slightly open.

"Kenna, where is this all coming from?" She asked, searching the girl's face for any indication. Kenna honestly didn't know. Maybe it was the exercise, or maybe it was the spill over from her feelings towards her friends or maybe it stemmed from her bottomless pit of self loathing. Maybe it was all of them combined in a molotov cocktail of shitty emotions.

"You asked me how felt." She spoke, her lavender orbs finally meeting Dinah's sky blue ones.

"Everyday I get up, and pretend I'm okay and that nothing's wrong. I do this so I don't "seek attention", so no one knows how I really feel. I've always been to scared to say it, so I hide behind a smile. It's my mask, and now I can't even keep that up anymore." Kenna fought back her tears, her expression hardening. Dinah looked at her, slightly shaking her head in denial. It was like Kenna wasn't even the same person anymore, replaced by a darker being. This wasn't the girl she knew.

"Kenna this isn't you. You normally don't close yourself off this much. The absolute silence, ignoring everyone around you, the music, Kenna your hurt and depressed!" Dinah chastised, leaning forward and placing a hand on Kenna's bent knees.

"I'm not depressed. I'm just a sad kid, who puts all of my hope in the fact that putting headphones in makes me feel like i'm not alone." She spoke in a monotone voice as she shrugged her shoulders and glanced away from the older woman to watch the running water of the waterfall. Sighing in defeat, Dinah leaned back and released her knee. It seemed as if she would not be getting the answers she wanted from her protege.

"I know what happened in the simulation. I know how you died." Dinah watched as Kenna's form tensed but she did not turn her attention away from the falling water.

"Kenna, why would you do something like that? What made you think that that was the only way out?" Kenna flinched at the words, closing her eyes in disgust. She knew she had taken the coward's way out, she was weak, couldn't handle the pressure and cracked.

"I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep watching them die. The people I cared about, the family I had made on my own just gone up in flames and all because of my stupidity." Kenna spoke softly, tightening her hold on her legs. Now they were getting to the root of the problem. Dinah had be careful while treading these waters. She had managed to get Kenna to open up a little bit more than she normally would but there was always the chance that it could backfire and destroy all the progress they had made.

"What do you mean because of you?" She tentatively asked, choosing her words carefully. Letting out a sigh, Kenna turned her attention back to Dinah. Her eyes drooped as she spoke. She was tired, well not tired like she need to sleep but emotionally exhausted.

"It was my fault that things went the way it did. Artemis died because me. If I had been paying attention, it wouldn't have happened. Artemis would have survived and M'gann would have warped the reality and made us forget. I did what I did to attone my faults. I figure if I could make sure that Robin and Wally got out safely then I could redeem myself for both Artemis and Kaldur's death." Dinah looked at her appalled. She blamed herself for what happened? How could she? The simulation was doomed from the start, nothing was her fault.

"Kenna how could you possibly blame yourself for occurred? It wasn't your faul.." Dinah stopped in her words when she Kenna's glare.

"It is my fault! None of this wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been there. Artemis wouldn't have jumped in front of me and died. I caused the chain reaction. Even if she hadn't jumped in front of me, I would have died and M'gann would have done the same thing. This started and ended with me. Dinah this was my fault and I couldn't live with the mistakes that I made." Kenna didn't mean to snap but she had to get this across. Dinah had to understand her, understand her reasonings. She knew what she did wasn't right but it had happened and now it was gone, but the feelings still lingered.

"McKenna, I want you to listen to me. We make mistakes, that what makes us human. It is what separate us from animals. We make mistakes and we attone and move on. Kenna when something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you." Kenna scrunched her eyebrows in thought as she mulled over her mentor's words.

"So which is it? Are you going to let it destroy you or strengthen you?"

Destroy her or strengthen her? That was the question that had been floating around in her head. After her therapy time which she felt did nothing to help her, Kenna fled to her room. Music played softly in the background and she had dimmed the lights. Her confessions of her feelings had done very little to relieve the pressure from within. She still felt like she was being consumed, pieces breaking off and fading into nothing. She stood in front of her full body mirror, staring intently at the person reflecting back at her. There was a girl in the mirror, someone she didn't recognize. Kenna sometimes thought she knew her and sometimes she wish she did. There was a story in the girl's eyes, hellos and goodbyes. But there was one thing for certain that she knew, as the girl looked back at her, Kenna knew she was hurting.

What was she supposed to do when she had been sad for so long that when something bad happened, she wouldn't cry? She would just sit there and feel numb. Kenna sighed and closed her eyes before leaning her forehead against the glass, her hand come up to rest beside her head. She was and utter mess, clueless on how to feel about anything anymore. Opening her eyes, she could see the lifeless gleam staring back at her. She was standing on the line between giving up and seeing how much more she could take. And Kenna knew know one was coming to save her, she would have to save herself. But at the moment, that didn't seem possible.

Author's Note: Hey guy's, I'm so sorry this chapter is short. There just isn't a lot to this episode in general, I mean the majority of it is spent following Connor around. I really hope you aren't that disappointed with how short this was but I feel like I covered what I could that involved Kenna. Okay anyway, this chapter's song is absolutely perfect at describing Kenna as a person and what her insecurities are. I totally recommend listening to it if you want to fully go in depth on how Kenna is feeling. The song is acoustic which gives it a sad but pretty sound. Oh my god, I'm super excited for the next couple of chapters specifically the next two chapters. I know you guy's are probably tired of depressing Kenna but I hate to tell you it hasn't even hit it's peak. I will say next chapter she actually tells someone her feelings about what is happening between her and the team so that's a positive I guess. I still think you guys are going to hate me after the next two chapters. Hahah bring it on;). Okay enough rambling, I promise the next chapter will be SO much better. So review, favorite, follow. Love you guys :)