Pawnshops and Carousels

AvalonReeseFanFics

A/N: Well this here is a really late update. Sorry about that, I've been busy preparing for a trip. Just a small one to go check on my friend in a different city. Took me a while to get around to editing this chapter. Anyway, we got some more cute coupley stuff. So don't forget to review and I'll see you guys next week.

Chapter 12

When Sabrina used to live with me, we'd start every morning with coffee. She'd be in her pjs and I'd be in my boxers, the morning news would be on the TV in our room, and we'd sit in the bed and drink our coffee together. Usually she'd be in my lap and one of my arms would be around her, holding her there. Sometimes we'd talk about the state of the world, other times we didn't talk at all. But it was a ritual of mine, so ingrained in me that it wasn't until I didn't have someone to do it with anymore that I noticed how much it was a part of my daily life.

So, when I wake up this morning and Sabrina is above me, coffee mug in hand, wearing my shirt like an off-one-shoulder dress, my heart sings. I sit up, pull her down into my lap and then we sit in silence drinking our coffee and watching the news.

I still keep waiting to wake up. This can't be real. It's some strange fever dream. Or I'm in a coma. Or I've died and gone to heaven. I press a kiss to her shoulder again and she lets out an airy giggle. My grip on her tightens. Dear god, if this is a dream, or I'm in a coma, please don't ever let me wake up.

My mug has been left on the nightstand by the bed, both my arms hold her, because I'm afraid to let go. Afraid that I might shatter the spell between us.

"Did I make your coffee wrong?" she asks and I shake my head.

"No, it's perfect," I whisper. Everything about this is perfect. I had missed this so much. I had missed her so much.

"You've barely touched it."

I brush a tendril of her hair behind her ear and she half turns to smile at me, the redness of her face already fading into what will eventually be a very dark purple. My stomach clenches as I look at it. I need to stop being weird, she's going to notice. I need to man up before she realizes what's going on with me.

I clear my throat carefully before asking: "So… uh… what happened to not fucking on our first date?"

What the actual fuck is my problem? Why the hell did I just say that? Fuck on our first date? Firstly, we didn't fuck, we made love, secondly, I'm trying to not show her how weird I am, or scare her away. I've done both now.

I'm lucky because she just chuckles at me and narrows her eyes in a way that I know for certain is playful. "It wasn't really our first date."

Mmmm that was true. "Alright. Fair."

"What time do you work?" she asks hesitantly. She's probably worried about making me late but I couldn't give a shit about that right now.

"I don't. And neither do you… until Monday. I made sure."

"You can't fix my schedule like that Seth, the girls will get jealous."

"Let 'em get jealous. I call dibs on you all weekend."

"And if I had plans?"

"Do you have plans?" I ask.

"Well no…" "Then what's the problem?" "Nothing."

Ha, I won that one! Wonderful. She was all mine now, for the whole weekend. And Monday cause I fully plan on taking her to work with me. How soon could I ask her to move in with me without it being weird? I don't want to chase her away by moving too fast but seriously, if I thought I could propose to her right this second and she'd say yes, I'd do so in a heartbeat.

It hits me again. It's hit me several times since she had opened the door in a sweater I thought was as lost to me as she had been. But this is happening. I've got her back, she's in my arms. I have a chance to get everything I want, starting with getting Sabrina back. I suddenly grip her tightly, my forehead drops to her shoulder, I might break into happy tears and I'm shaking to hold them back.

"What's the matter?"

Oh god… she's noticed. Fuck me. "Nothing."

"Well something's going on, tell me."

God why couldn't she just believe my lies? Why? Was she the only one who could tell when I was lying? Why? I try to burry my face into her shoulder again but she won't let me. She gets up quickly, drops her mug of coffee beside mine and then she's straddling me to the bed.

Well this was a bad move. Now I wasn't going to let her ask me anymore questions. I move to kiss her, to start up what got me in her bed in the first place but she stops me.

"Use your words Seth."

I don't want to do this. I don't want to be weak and pathetic in front of her. But I also told myself that if I ever got her back I'd do everything I was supposed to do the first time and then some. Besides it was just me, her and Escobar, her black cat, so you know… maybe it's safe.

I look up into those beautiful green eyes and bare my heart to her. "I never thought I'd be here again. I never thought I'd… I thought you were lost to me… forever…"

Sabrina kisses me, light and sensually and I take her and pin her to the bed, ready to go right back to what got us here in the first place.

"I never thought I'd be here either," she whispers to me. "I never thought I'd get over it… but I very stupidly missed you."

"God Sabrina…"

"Sooner or later we'll have to talk about what happened," she whispers to me and my heart stops. "Sooner or later you have to tell me why you… why you cheated on me. For real. Not just blaming me."

She means later, of course. She means to have me tell her later, some later date but I want this out in the open, I wanted her to know what my stupidity had done. To both of us.

I brace myself over her and begin to tell her the real reason why.

"You want honesty? Fine. I was stupid. We had a stupid argument about the ring again. You said you didn't want to date me anymore, I said I was going to take back the proposal. You threw your promise ring at my face, I threw both our rings out in the garbage. And I was just so fucking mad at you… and I thought we were done… so I found the closest girl to me… and I mean in the vicinity and I picked her up, I brought her home, and I had the worst revenge sex of my life. I was stupid, and angry and just… god Reenie, I didn't even want her. I spent the whole time thinking of you, wanting her out of my place, wanting you to be there instead of her. And then you showed up and I just… God. I still dream about it you know, the look in your eyes when you realized what I had done."

Her fingers are tracing patterns into my collarbones, and she's focusing on that motion instead of looking at me.

"Why didn't you just say that to me?"

"Because you were mad, and I was ashamed. I blamed you for putting us in that position, but it was my fault. It was my fault, there were so many things I should have told you, things that might have changed everything. But then we were properly broken up and I was so angry and hurt that I…"

"Fucked every whore in Detroit."

"Essentially. But… I did try talking to you. And you… I just couldn't look at you when you were looking at me like that. It hurt. And then you just… I unno, you vanished and I was so upset about everything… my dad says I was inconsolable for a whole year, Ashley will confirm that I was miserable to deal with. And… honestly I have been for a very long time. It was like when you left my heart went with you and I've been a cold unfeeling bastard ever since."

She seems to think that over. "And say I trust you… to… I unno start something up again…"

"You'd want to? I mean… I didn't get to take you out, last night… I mean, don't get me wrong that was great but that was nothing compared to what I had planned."

"The fact that you came over with all my favourites just to cheer me up made it perfect," she says and I sigh. Damn Sabrina and her low expectations.

"The point is, Seth, what I need to know is if you'd do… it… again?"

"What? Cheat on you?"

"Mhmm"

"Of course not. You think I'm gonna fuck things up again? Reenie, I didn't think I was gonna get this far. I didn't think I'd ever see you again and when I did I was certain you were gonna be married. The fact that I'm here right now is a fucking miracle, it's an opportunity I'm not going to waste. You think I'm gonna let you go now you have another thing coming."

She giggles at me. "Funny… I was just thinking the same thing."

I swoop in to kiss her before my heart can swell up like a balloon and burst. I don't think I've ever been happier.

Seth: Love is a tricky thing. Love can follow you through a lifetime. It can bind you up and never let you go. You can fall in and out of it. You can pretend it's not there but it has this uncanny ability to sneak up on you. It can make you the fool. But when you're in love. When they love you back. Being the fool doesn't matter anymore, because you'd do anything for them. And there isn't a single fucking thing I won't do for Sabrina, and it's clear as day that I'm as in love with Sabrina now as I was with her when I was young and foolish. And maybe that makes me twice the fool, but I'm in love and I don't care.

I'm on the sales floor when Seth walks in with Sabrina right beside him. Well considering he left on Friday early and never came back and now he's over an hour late, I'm willing to bet that… something… happened.

Seth is smirking at me, regardless of the fact that he knows I'm going to lecture him about being late.

"How nice of you to join us," I say. Sabrina blushes to the very roots of her hair and Seth's smirk leaves his face.

"I'm sorry… I'll just go…"

"Yeah, you go, I'll be there in a minute," he says, his hand on her lower back urging her towards the back. He smiles at her as she goes, she shoots not one, not two, but three coy glances over her shoulder at Seth before she disappears.

I know for sure that something's happened. And I think it's about to change our lives.

"What's got you so happy?" I ask him. "Dad's livid."

"I'll deal with dad."

"Can't help but notice you came in with Sabrina, is this her walk of shame or yours?"

Seth is scowling. "No shame. No walk. I simply drove her to work today."

"Okay, cut the crap. What's going on."

"It's none of your business," he says folding his arms over his chest.

"Seth!" "No." "We're going to find out eventually." "Fine. Fine. I got back together with Sabrina on Friday, we've been together all weekend. Now will you let me go to my office?"

He walks past me and while he says he's going to his office I know he's heading back to see Sabrina. I smile at his back. I'm happy that he got back together with Sabrina, it's been a long time coming.

"Did I hear him say that he got back together with Sabrina?" Rich asks coming to stand beside me. I nod and he frowns and shakes his head. "God, they're going to get sickeningly cute again aren't they."

Oh god I had forgotten about that. I had forgotten how disgustingly cute the two of them were, especially when they had first started out. Well shit. I didn't want to live that all over again but what was I going to do? Break them up again? Course not, it was worse when they weren't together. God what had we gotten ourselves into.