Beta'd by kylekatarn77 and Poliamida
34. Walk Not Alone
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens:...A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up.
-King Solomon, Ecclesiastes (Traditional attribution)
Working with Mei once more healed wounds in ways Izuku hadn't thought possible, but opened up new ones as well. It was cathartic and soothing to lose himself in the familiar routine of carefully examining systems, then designing and implementing improvements.
The pain came from realizing he couldn't get back what he'd lost so easily. Doing things one handed was tricky and tedious. Izuku had to use several specialized clamps and vices to be able to hold objects steady while he worked on them one handed. Worse, his right hand had been his dominant hand and he had to relearn things in a way that still felt unnatural. With the same bullheaded determination he'd always had though, Izuku pressed forward.
If he ever felt like giving up, he just looked to Mei, who had developed the habit of squinting at things, then frowning, shaking her head, and getting a magnifying glass or jewelers loop to carefully go over her work. She wasn't giving up, and neither was he.
The first order of business was rebuilding the Power Suit. While they could have salvaged their prior efforts, Izuku and Mei both agreed that they needed to rebuild with better, stronger materials from the ground up. A new skeleton made of more durable alloys Mei concocted became the basis for the new Power Suit, and it became larger and bulkier to support more powerful systems and higher grade weapons loadouts. They now knew that what Izuku had been packing before fell far short of what was needed to deal with the most deadly and dangerous foes.
At the same time though, they also realized that the increasing size and complexity of the Power Suit would dramatically add to the time needed to build and complete it, and that with less than two weeks to go until the licensing exam, they didn't have the capability to build it the way they wanted.
So instead, they went back to the very beginning, back to the original Power Suit MK1, which had been slimmer and less bulky than any design they'd created after.
"The Power Suit is great for the outdoors or large scale fights, but I need something that can fit in narrower spaces. Just going through those back alleys caused some damage because I could barely fit," Izuku observed as they catalogued the damage to the suit on the first day.
"What if we created an exoskeletal suit?" Mei suggested. "Maybe something that's weaker than the main power suit, but something you could use indoors or other tight places."
"Yeah, maybe we could make it light enough that it could actually fly too," Izuku suggested.
Mei frowned and shook her head. "If we did that, the jet pack would make it too bulky to fit through doors. I know! We can make it modular too! It could be able to hook up to various gear easily, and you could swap it out based on the mission. So you could mount the jet pack, or take it off."
"We could make the entire Power Suit a module!" Izuku said excitedly, seizing on the idea. "It could fit inside the main Power Suit, and I could jump in and out!"
"Yes, exactly, like the Hulk Buster Armor!" Mei declared.
Izuku glanced at her. "When did you learn about the Hulk Buster Armor? I thought you didn't like Iron Man."
Mei shrugged. "Hospitals are really boring and your mom only had your books to read while we waited for you to wake up. Besides, this isn't going to be Hulk Buster Armor. It will be Masked Buster Armor."
"Perfect," Izuku said with a grin. "The League of Villains won't know what happened to them the next time we fight!"
"Our babies will be so cute they won't even know what to do!" Mei laughed.
In their efforts, Izuku and Mei ended up not working alone. On their second day, Hari came to the workshop, bringing them both lunch.
"You two forget to eat again?" Hari asked, causing Izuku to look up in surprise. He hadn't even realized she was there.
"Um, yeah, sorry," Izuku admitted, blushing. Usually he was the one to remind Mei.
Hari just laughed and set out three lunches. "Looks like Mei's rubbing off on you, Izuku! Next thing you know you'll be humming to yourself and demanding coffee instead of tea."
"I guess we've both changed," Izuku admitted as Mei came over to help him up from the floor where he'd been working. He could have stood on his own, but he wasn't too proud to admit it was far easier to accept a helping hand from Mei.
"Well, Mei's a lot more social than she ever was before she met you," Hari observed as they sat to eat. "Did you know I caught her doing makeup with Jiro and Ashido the other day?"
"I do not understand why they liked it so much but since they thought it was fun I agreed to attempt it," Mei explained.
"Are you wearing any makeup?" Izuku asked, feeling a bit worried that he hadn't noticed.
Mei shook her head. "No, they told me it was so boys would like you better and you already like me so I don't see any point."
"If you say some sappy crap about how she's already beautiful, see if I ever bring you lunch again," Hari warned Izuku, who blushed and looked down, as he'd been about to say something along those lines. "Don't worry about it too much Mei. I only bother with lipstick half the time and the rest of the get up only if I have a hot date. Which hasn't been for a depressingly long time. But nevermind that. Mind if I take a look at your work?"
"I don't," Izuku said, glancing at Mei.
"I have always tried to get you to look at my babies, Hari. You always said you were too busy before but now I don't think you are," Mei scolded. "You could actually be helpful, unlike the brats!"
"Yeah, but I miss the little buggers," Hari sighed. She set her lunch down and walked over to examine the Power Suit A, as Mei and Izuku had taken to calling it. She looked over the various electrical systems and power supply, letting out a low whistle and shaking her head. "I'm gonna be honest, Mei, this stuff is way over my head. I'm just a mechanic, not a JAXA engineer."
"But you are very smart! You're good at fixing all kinds of things and building things," Mei said, hurrying over by her sister. "See, this is a modified duel reaction power plant, and these motorized assists aren't that different from some of the construction equipment I've seen you work on!"
"Maybe," Hari agreed. "But honestly I haven't a clue where to start with this. Looks like you modified a standard Mitsubishi YT-3 series they use for their smaller bikes."
"Yes! See, you've worked on those before! We could use your help welding the parts here, you know how to weld because you taught me how!"
"Well, maybe," Hari admitted. "I suppose I wouldn't mind getting my hands a bit dirty, it's sorta boring sitting around waiting for you kids and a girl can only tune her baby's engine so often…"
"Your car always works just fine. Here, let me show you how we're doing it. You have to be careful though, Izuku's electrical system is very good but you don't want to accidentally break it."
Soon, the two sisters were working together, Mei leading and Hari following her directions, at first a bit hesitant, but soon with the confidence of someone who was familiar and skilled at their craft. Izuku went back to wiring the more delicate parts, slowly and carefully, testing each connection and part to make sure it was perfect. After that, Hari joined Izuku and Mei nearly every day for long hours, mostly performing the assembling and machining of parts once Mei had created a design she was content with.
While most of his day was consumed with working on the Power Suit, Izuku made sure to continue his physical therapy, especially focusing on learning to use his new prosthetic. Alongside that, he resumed his training with The Hero workout program. To that end, Kirishima and Shinso were happy to help him, coming up with adjustments for him now that he could no longer fully complete several aspects.
"Damn dude, one handed push-ups! Hard core!" Kirishima laughed when Izuku started to resume his routine with them early in the morning at the gym. They were far from the only ones there even though the sun was barely up; all of Class 1A and 1B as well as the other Hero Courses from the other years had some sort of intense fitness routine.
"We'll have to step up our games if we want to keep up with him," Shinso chuckled. "Maybe do 50 on each hand."
"Laugh all you want," Izuku grunted. He collapsed after only 20, but after a short rest made himself keep going. "This is harder than it looks."
"I believe it. I'm still weak myself," Kirishima admitted. "That hit from One for All beat the hell out of me. Ended up with three broken bones from that fight. Thank God for Recovery Girl or I'd still be messed up."
Shinso grunted from where he was doing sit ups. "Considering the rest of us would just have been red mist, that's still impressive."
"Will you nerds shut up! It's too damn early to be talking this much!" Bakugo snapped at them from the weight bench as he strained to complete his reps.
"Oh relax Bakugo, you need to be more of a morning person if you're going to be a hero!" Ururaka lectured, her eyes on the weight bar. She had insisted that she spot for Bakugo, who had grudgingly agreed after he'd nearly hurt himself the week before. He too had felt the effects of recovering his wounds during the battle, especially since some of his wounds had been serious. "What if the bad guys attack in the morning instead of at night?"
Bakugo snarled, baring his teeth in a grimace as he strained. "Then I can kick their ass! Which is more than I can do to the nerds!"
"Oh, what's the matter Bakugo, afraid we'd waste your sorry ass?" Shinso taunted.
Bakugo slammed the weight back into place, jerking upright to glare at Shinso. "You know who'd win if you and I faced off, and-"
Suddenly, Bakugo stopped, then slowly stood. "...I...wo….ld...l...oo...se.." he mumbled. He suddenly jerked back to reality, his eyes going wide in fury. "You son of a bitch! You used your quirk on me, I-!"
Bakugo cut off as Uraraka snorted loudly. She tried to stop, but squealed and snorted again, sounding much like a pig. That made Izuku accidentally guffaw, though he quickly covered his mouth in embarrassment.
"It's not funny!" Bakugo snapped, glaring around at several people in the gym.
"Actually, that was pretty funny," Kirishima said, his quirk activating as he smiled, giving his grin a rather monstrous appearance. "You got a problem with that?"
Bakugo glared at Shinso for a moment, then paused. "Wait, did I talk?"
"I heard it from your own lips. You would lose," Shinso said, folding his arms over his chest. "And I think that just proves my point."
Bakugo stalked forward, pops and snaps coming from his fingers as they twitched, his face only inches from Shinso's, who didn't flinch back. After a moment, Bakugo held up his right arm, palm forward. "You can make people talk now. Guess you're not as weak as I thought."
Shinso smiled and gave Bakugo a solid high five, only to yelp in pain as the sudden contact made the sweat Bakugo had built up explode. Shinso swore and hopped about the room, blowing on his hand which was slightly singed. Bakugo began to laugh uproariously, as did Kirishima while Urarka had another snorting fit.
"Now it's funny!" Bakugo declared.
That made Shinso pause to glare at Bakugo, then he too started to laugh. "Yeah, ok, that was actually pretty funny. I'll get you next time though."
For once, Bakugo was smart enough not to say anything, which just made everyone else, even Izuku, laugh all the harder.
Later, Izuku found Bakugo alone in the kitchen, preparing himself a meal. Hesitantly, Izuku moved next to the other boy, who glanced at him, but didn't say anything.
"Thank you," Izuku said quietly.
"I'm not giving you any, make your own," Bakugo told him.
Izuku shook his head. "Not that. For...for helping rescue Mei. You've changed. You don't...you don't hate me, anymore, for being weak."
"That's bullshit," Bakugo told Izuku, not looking at him as he stirred his cooking food. "If you were weak, I'd still hate you."
"If you hadn't noticed, I am down an arm, and Mei is quirkless now. But you don't hate us," Izuku said. "You tried to save us. And...and you were the first person to volunteer to help rescue Mei, even though you knew it would cost you."
Bakugo just grunted in reply, his eyes on his cooking.
"I just...I wanted to say I forgive you," Izuku told him. "And...and I hope we can be friends again." Izuku turned to walk away, but Bakugo stirred and spoke.
"We were never friends," Bakugo said, still not looking up. "That...that was my fault." He finally met Izuku's eyes. "I'm not a good person. You are. So I don't know why you would ever want to be my friend."
Izuku hesitated, then turned back to face Bakugo. "Once, it was because you were strong, and I wanted to be like you."
Bakugo snorted, turning off the heat from the stove and dumping his meal onto a plate. "I've got a strong quirk, sure. But you're stronger than I am. You beat me in the Sports Festival, remember?"
"That wasn't because I was strong," Izuku told Bakugo. "That was because of Mei. Because I was willing to admit I am weak, that I need other people's help. We all do, Bakugo."
"Hmph." Bakugo replied. "I still hate weaklings. Problem is, I am one." He walked away, heading towards his room, where he typically ate alone.
"Hey, Bakugo! We were just going to eat," Uraraka's voice called from the dining room. "Sit down and join us!"
Bakugo hesitated, glancing at Uraraka, who was sitting with Iida and Tokoyami as they shared a meal from the cafetiera. For a moment, Izuku thought Bakugo would ignore her, walk back to his room in solitude. Instead, he silently walked to the table, sitting beside the others and quietly beginning to eat. The others laughed and chatted, even talking to Bakugo, who occasionally gave short answers, but never joined in.
For his part, Izuku watched for a moment, then headed out to the workshop. Perhaps he and Bakugo would never be friends again. But they weren't enemies at least.
In what little free time Izuku had, he devoted himself to his own personal project: Making a new set of eyes for Mei. It was a slow, tedious process, as Izuku insisted on assembling and modifying the goggles himself alone. He included a digital zoom, as well as inferred, ultraviolet, and low light modes for the goggles. He added a holographic projector that Mei could use to overlay on 3D objects and manipulate with a special gauntlet he made. He also added the ability to make and receive video calls or act as a miniature computer screen. The design alone took him a week, and it would likely take months to fully finish, but Izuku was proud of his work.
As for his prosthetic arm, Mei continued to add improvements. Izuku's manual dexterity with the arm improved daily, though he was still a far cry from being able to use it for any delicate fine motor tasks. Still, it was wonderful to have, and Izuku was confident in time he could learn to use it as well as his flesh and blood arm, though the lack of touch or pain still left it rather lacking in some regards.
In addition to everything else, Izuku and Mei, along with the rest of Class 1A and Hari, now had weekly appointments with the school Counselor, Ryo Inui. Most of the students were attending their sessions alone, but Izuku and Mei had requested they be allowed to come together, and Mr. Inui had readily granted the request.
He was an odd looking man, mostly because he looked like nothing so much as his Hero Name, Hound Dog, resembling a bi-pedal hound with a long, shaggy mane of hair. He was prone to barking, growling, and making other dog-like noises when he became emotional, though most of the time he sounded perfectly normal. Thankfully, he didn't wear his hero costume, which consisted of a muzzle and vest that made him look rather intimidating, instead opting for a business casual look.
"Do we have to be here?" Mei complained when they first arrived at Mr. Inui's office. "They told me when I came to UA I didn't have to go to social groups or anything anymore."
"That's not what this is about, Hatsume," Inui told Mei as he gestured her and Izuku over to a rather patched couch. It had scorch marks on it, and for some reason the room smelled faintly of burned hair and brimstone under the incense that Mr. Inui was burning on his desk.
Mei frowned, but sat down with Izuku. "Oh, well then why are Izuku and I here? We could be working on our baby, we only have another 12 days to get it ready!"
"I understand, but there's something you two are going to need to learn about being heroes. It's the darker side of the profession, so to speak. From what your sister tells me, Mei, you're already experiencing it, and I'd be shocked if you weren't, Izuku. Night terrors, afraid to ever be alone, and you've been calculating the area and volume of objects more often," Mr. Inui said as he seated himself in an equally battered wooden chair across from them.
Izuku twitched slightly. He had been having a hard time sleeping, and more than once he'd woken up in the middle of the night nearly unable to breath. Though he couldn't say he'd ever felt the need to calculate the volume of a random object.
"Hari told you that?" Mei asked, frowning. "Why?"
"Because she's had to see me too, and she's worried about you both. This is counseling for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome," Mr. Inui explained gently. "You've both had a severely traumatic event in your lives. The other students in Class 1A attended therapy with me for a few weeks back when the USJ attacks happened. Mentally, being a hero is very taxing, like being a police officer or in the military. You have incredible violence done to you, and on occasion, do violence as well. Some people handle it better than others, but no one should handle it alone."
"Well I'm not handling it alone, I have Izuku and Hari and all my friends in class," Mei stated. She smiled suddenly. "I have lots of friends now! Last year, I only had Izuku, and before that, I didn't have any! It makes things a lot easier, but…"
Mei trailed off, going silent. She suddenly squeezed her eyes shut. "Izuku, how high is the ceiling?" she asked after a long moment.
Izuku looked up, then looked to Mr. Inui.
"It's 2.1 meters high, Hatsume," Mr. Inui supplied.
"This room is 713.7 cubic meters," Mei said, then suddenly buried her face into Izuku's chest. "I need a hug."
Izuku obliged, squeezing Mei as tightly as he could. He knew she preferred bone crushing hugs, especially when she was feeling this poorly. "I, um, I've been...having a hard time sleeping too."
"That's normal. Especially for new heroes, and even more so for someone who suffered a major injury like you have," Mr. Inui said. "We can get you something to help you sleep if it becomes a problem."
"Hari has a medicine she takes at night, did you give it to her?" Mei asked, her voice muffled as she was still pressed tightly to Izuku.
"I can't discuss that with you, if you have questions about your sister's sessions you can talk to her about them, or perhaps join her if that would help both of you. I've found that having a loved one along can help some people, but for others it slows the healing process. For the two of you, Hari suggested that it would be best if I saw you together, though I would like to speak with each of you alone as well."
"So, um, what do we do?" Izuku asked. "I-I don't really want any pills. I just...I wake up, and I can just...feel my arm. But I look, and it's gone, and then I feel like I can't breath for a few minutes…"
"The healing process is going to take a while. Some wounds never really heal, both mentally and physically. But we can learn how to deal with them. Let's start with just talking about how this is making you feel. Who would like to go first?"
Authors Note:
One thing that's always irritated me personally is the common trope that there are No Therapists in Fictionland. Look, these kids just went through hell. Izuku lost an arm. Mei lost her quirk, and was frightened and brutalized. Even someone like Iida who got out with minor surface wounds is going to suffer deep trauma from that. Some will weather it better than others, but a competent school/hero system will have therapists to guide heroes so that they can continue to be heroic and not break down from psychological pressure.