Nana's Imouto
Disclaimer: I do not own the awesomeness of KHR, if I did Tsuna might be taller. I also suck at writing fight scenes. This might be the only one.
Ch. 2: Quip-Fu
"Didn't you say it was polite to introduce yourself after one has introduced themselves?" asked the tiny person once we have gotten our food.
"Yes, yes I did. My friends and family called me Ann." I said, trying to get used to chopsticks. Been a while since I had to use them.
"Ann?" Nana said, "Is that a nickname?"
"Yes it is, my mother when she was with me always had a short temper and constantly argued with my father about the name. They couldn't decide on one so one of their crazy friends pops in with a huge book of random baby names, told them to pick a letter of the alphabet, then pick three numbers. One for the page of said letter, then column and then the third number they picked would be my name. It didn't turn out pretty and so they just called me Ann." I replied.
"What's the name?" asked Reborn.
"If a rose had any other name, would it smell just as sweet?" I asked back.
"H-h-how did y-y-you run into m-m-my m-m-m-mother?" Asked Tsuna.
Ahh, he has a stuttering problem. How cute.
"Well, you see. It all started like this…..
Shooting my eyes open, I glanced around and start hacking up a storm. Why was I hacking up a storm? Nothing around me was familiar. I smelled fresh air, fresh cut grass and a smell I associated with my former roommate-cherry blossoms, and dirt. Wet dirt.
Not the edible cherries, like for cherry pie with a dollop of whip cream. The other kind, the flowering sakura trees you find, like, everywhere. You know, the nice smelling, tiny cute flowers that have an excellent scene in Mulan? Those.
Trying not to panic I did a mental and physical check on my person. Nothing was broken that I know of, I can breathe fine and take nice deep breaths. So ribs weren't bruise-Ow!
I lied. I have bruised ribs. And now I'm feeling those other bruises, ooowwww.
Struggling to sit up, I take a closer inspection around me. I'm in a park. Why does this seem familiar? And why am I covered in wet dirt?
Well, better find a police station or a pizza place to find out where I am, I used the tree that I was under as support and hobbled my way down this huge hill.
I may or may not have stumbled on the last few steps.
Ouch, that hurt my poor ribs. Wincing, I noticed a crowd of people heading past me. Well, when in Rome, looking like a mess like myself, follow the crowd of people.
So I did.
Finally I found what I guess what was a pizza joint, wait no. I lied-it's a café of some sort; looks way too pink for my liking.
"Hello," I said once I entered in. The wet dirt has dried by now and leaving faint dust impressions around me. The young teenager just stared at me, like I was a zombie of some sort. "Could I have a glass of water?"
I always wanted to say that.
"Iie, iie eigo." The teenager said.
"Un, mizu?" I asked, pointing to the glass. My head is hurting. Can't form full sentences. "Arigato." Once I got the glass.
"Where am I?" I asked in Japanese once I wetted my throat.
"Namimori."
Shhiii-eet.
I thought that the town was fictional! Glancing around I got a real good look. It's that one girly cake café where Kyoko and Haru go for their Appreciation day. And look, they were, eating like it was the most glorious thing ever! As I was not so subtle looking (actually gawking) at them when I saw Nana pass by with a smile on her face and cheer sprouting out of every available surface.
You know, the show calms down her flower cheeriness and happiness. I think I saw a unicorn in that background. Which disappears when there's a bad guy tailing her. How can I tell? Well the black ski mask doesn't help at all, nor the poor imitation of Kronk's theme song.
I quickly ran out (ignoring my bruises and my ribs screaming bloody murder at me) to follow. And ignoring that teenager, screw you teenager, I got a single mom to save!
She turns the corner right as I step out and loose sight of her, but the Kronk wannabe doesn't get out of my sight. Suddenly I hear screaming and pleading.
Hurrying over to the sound, only saying excuse me in a brief as I slam into people, including an angry looking teenager who looked like he needed some stress relieved off of him.
"Gimme your money and your ring lady!" The baddy said. Holding a crow bar and cornering poor Nana into, well a corner.
"Just take the money please! The ring is the only thing I have of my husband! Please here is all of the money I have!" She said, digging into a gigantic bag and handing the dude the money. Some plastic bags where by her feet filled with groceries.
"I said, gimme your money and the ring!"
I spy with my little eye; a couple of metal heavy-duty garbage cans lids. Whoo-cha baby! I always wanted to box someone's ears. No time like the present. Slowly I walk over to those awesome lids. Lifting them up slowly to not make a sound.
Nana notices me and tries to shoo me away. Hello? I'm saving you here! I shook my head and kind of, sort of held a finger to my lips to signal quiet. One of the lids got in the way so it looked like I had a shield of some sort to protect the lower half of my face.
"Now hold up bad dude. From the looks of this situation, it looks like you're trying to rob this poor innocent woman of her currency and obliviously something very precious to here. I wouldn't do that, well, you could do that, but then I will have to hit you in the head with these lids and gut you like a fish and precede to make awesome plaster that's really hard to get out of with the kind lady's groceries. Well, I could box your ears instead and ram one of the lids into your torso grab the lady and kick you where the sun don't shine.
Well, I could scream bloody murder and have someone call the police and they could arrest your ass. Or I could use this awesome device that I jacked from you to call the police and have them find your ass all up in the air tied up with your clothing. It's really your choice." I said to the dude.
He just looked at me all angry like. "You!" he shrieked, waving around the crowbar.
Yes, he did shriek. And hurt my poor ears while at it.
"Yes me." I stated.
"You!"
"Me."
"You!"
"I think we have established that I am one of the main topics here."
"You ruined my hit!" He shrieked once again and came rushing at me. Crowbar high in the air.
"Here's Johnny!" I said, boxing his ears with the lids, slammed one of the lids into his stomach, forcing him to crouch down and dropping the crow bar. The other lid hit him upside the head. I kneed him in the gut, close to his garden and punch him in the head again. He grabbed my fist and swept my legs out from underneath me.
Ouch! Bruised ribs man!
Straddling me he punched me in the face a couple of times, I got my legs around him and let gravity take action and started to punch him in the face. Got a few good punches in before he used his upper body strength to toss me.
Right into those cans, ouch! Man, that baddie is going for a beat down!
I lurched forward to aim for the ankles, and made his body stumble. Quickly, I got on his back, grabbed his ski mask and used it to make his head meet the ground. He stared to claw and squiggle like a worm and I bit back. Eventually he threw me off again and- hello cans! We meet again and hello crow bar!
Using what little strength I had, I got his attention. And wa-bam! Hit him in the face with his weapon and he was down for the count!
Stepping over the downed-garbage ridden body, I went to go comfort Nana, (leaving the crowbar behind), who has unfortunately slid down the wall covering her mouth and crying. "Shhh, it'll all be ok. Let's call the police ok?" I said to her, kneeling down to her level. Wouldn't be good to be looming over her, now would it?
She just shrieked at pointed behind me. "Bitch, since you insist on getting in the way of my hit, I'll just take you out as well." The baddie said, in a wheezy voice, pointing a gun at me.
"Take me out where? Oooh, can we go to a ball? I've always wanted to go to the ball, but I need to dress up for the occasion see? Can't go to a fancy shin dig in this." I gestured to my outfit, while covering Nana from his sight.
If it's Quip-fu he wants, then Quip-fu he gets! THE WAR IS ON!
"I'm not taking you to a ball!" he shouted.
"Then to the beach? Always wanted to have a nice romantic walk along the beach. It's so nice and sandy, perfect to having a slow motion running scene with dramatic waves behind us and we end up drawing a heart with our initials in it. What are your initials, because it better be awesome! I don't want to have a suckie sand heart-"
"Not taking you to the beach, woman!"
"Oh! The amusement park then! Can we go on the scary ride, so I have a reason to hold your manly hands and we finish up the date by going on the Ferris wheel. And we get stuck up on the very top and we have a romantic make out session?"
"Bitch! There is no amusement park here!"
"How about the zoo?"
"No!"
"A petting zoo? Always wanted to pet a llama."
"I'm not taking you out!"
"But you just said you were." I stated, while opening the bag of flour behind my bag and reaching for some sort of liquid. Sorry Nana! I'll pay you back…. some how.
"I'm taking you out, not taking you out!" He shouted at me, waving the gun around.
"Well, I don't see the difference." I know I saw some eggs.
My plaster bomb is almost complete. Just need a dash of awesomeness and it'll be complete.
"I'm going to gut you like a fish-"
I interrupted him. "The Grinch! The Jim Carrey version where he's shouting in his cave!" I shouted at him in triumph.
"What?" He looked perplexed, well as perplexed as a hit man could get with a hideous ski mask on.
"That line, it was from How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Based off the Dr. Seuss book, How The Grinch Stole Christmas? The live action film with Jim Carrey as Grinch?" I trailed off.
"You're dead."
"Actually no, I'm still alive, but you're going to be knocked out and plastered to that wall over there." I stated, pointing to the wall beside him.
"And how are you going to do that? I have you at gun point, finger on the trigger and you don't have the equipment to do so." He stated.
Man, must every bad guy point out the obvious and be not cool at Quip-fu?
"Like this, dumb ass!" I said, threw my awesome plaster bomb in one hand, once that bag hit him in the face, the force of the bag made him stumble into the wall. I slammed some eggs into his face and pushed him further into the wall. "Told ya."
He growled at him when a frying pan suddenly came out of nowhere and konked him the face. Score to frying pan!
"Huh, frying pan. Who knew that they could be useful?" I questioned, looking back at Nana, tears trickling out with an angry expression on her face.
"You!" she screamed. I nodded, bit fearful of what she would do with the frying pan and me. "You saved me! Thank you so much! I must treat you to dinner and you can rest at my place!"
"Uh, okay. Just let me look at this baddie's face." I said.
"Why would you want to do that?"
"I want to see if the guy I was using Quip-fu at is cute." I lied. Really, I just want to see the bad dude's face and maybe see what family he's from.
"Okay!" she said, sparkles coming out of nowhere!
There's that freaking unicorn!
Ripping off the mask I see an average Joe with sandy blonde hair, hazel eyes, hawk like nose and a huge mole on his left cheek.
"Ew. Not cute." I said.
"And that's how it happened." I stated, eating the awesome food before me.
Everyone just kind of stared at me with the weirded out faces on. Expect for Reborn, nothing ever fazes that BAMF, and Nana who is passing me some awesome dessert.
Awww, popsicles; how I have missed you.
"Hiiieeee! That couldn't have happened!" Shrieked the little fluffy guy. Pointing at me and letting his rice bowl fall to the floor.
Well almost, I caught it and placed it back on the table, still eating the ice cream.
"Careful Kiddo, don't waste food, you never know when it's going to be your last meal." I said seriously. Then ruffling his hair. "Plus it's really awesome cooking. I wouldn't want to share it."
Reborn was giving me this weird calculated look, like I was one of his summer minions.
His eye narrowed, like he knew what I was thinking.
Duh, he is The World's Greatest Hitman. Yes, all the capitals are required.
He looked away. …I think.
Sweet.
Wonder where I am in the timeline? Guess I'll find out, huh?
"Sorry to say Kiddo, but it did. I can show you the bruises and cut I got from it."
"Hiieee!" and fell to the ground.
Oh yeah….he's sensitive to that sort of thing, isn't he?
"You will clean up the mess you made right, Ann-san?" Reborn said in his slightly squeaky voice.
Huh, manlier than what I thought it would be. There are no words to describe his manly squeak.
"Are you referring to the kitchen, bathroom or the fact that Kiddo is on the floor?" I asked.
"Tsuna, Maman has already taken care of the kitchen, and I know that you cleaned up in the bathroom." He said.
Huh, Nana has already taken care of it? I looked around, it's all sparkly and shiny and there's that Unicorn again! The only dish that is around is my ice cream dish.
Cool.