Beta'd by kylekatarn77 and Poliamida

51. The Price of Success

Victory is reserved for those who are willing to pay its price

-Sun Tzu

Izuku awoke with a gasp, cold sweat covering his body. He could still see the faces, hanging before him in that red hall, only this time, it had been Mei and his mother's faces there, not those of strangers. With a groan, he lifted himself out of bed, checking his clock. It was 4:03 am. Far too early. And yet, Izuku knew he couldn't go back to sleep.

With a heavy sigh, he sat up, scrubbing his hand through his hair. Restless, he took a long, hot shower, slumped on the floor, letting the water patter over his back. After around twenty minutes, he hauled himself out, drying off. He walked into his room and sat, staring at the wall. After a few minutes, he got his arm, but didn't put it on. Instead, he picked it up and carried it with him. He passed Uraraka in the hall, slipping into her room.

"Hey," he said, trying to smile.

Uraraka froze like a startled rabbit, looking at Izuku with wide eyes.

"S-sorry," Izuku mumbled. "I just thought-"

"I was checking on Katsuki!" Uraraka said quickly. "He's back from the hospital!"

"Oh, is he OK?" Izuku asked, looking towards Bakugo's room. "I mean, other than the injuries…"

"No," Uraraka said softly, shaking her head. "But...but I don't think any of us are OK. I...I had a hard time sleeping."

"Me too," Izuku admitted. "Being with Mei helps."

Uraraka's eyes shifted to Izuku's room. "Is she…?"

"What? No!" Izuku shook his head quickly. "I just mean...talking with her, spending time with her. It helps. I hope...I hope you have someone you can talk to, too."

"Yes. I do," Uraraka said quietly, eyes losing focus. "I think so, anyway." Then she blinked. "Oh, sorry. I just...I'm tired."

Izuku sighed, looking down at the arm he was carrying. "Yeah. I understand that. Good night."

"Good night," Uraraka said quietly, slipping back into her room and closing the door. Izuku heard faint sobs from it, but tried to ignore them. He hoped others did when he cried to himself.

Izuku headed down the stairs, taking them slowly. He glanced at Mei and Hari's room, but they'd been up late last night. She was probably still asleep, and Izuku didn't want to wake her. Instead, he headed out to the gym, hoping he could exhaust himself with exercise then fall back asleep.

As usual, the gym had a few occupants no matter what the hour; with the entire hero course on internships that included night patrols everyone's sleep schedule was off. Izuku headed to the treadmills, where he found Shinso already jogging in place.

"Couldn't sleep?" Shinso asked as Izuku set his arm on a bench and climbed onto the treadmill beside his friend.

"No. Bakugo's back, though," Izuku said. "Uraraka said she checked on him. He isn't doing well."

Shinso grunted. "Big surprise there. Christ. I can still see Chikazoku getting crushed when I close my eyes."

"I'm always just a little too slow to save Bakugo," Izuku admitted as he started to run. It was easier without his prosthetic, as his skin grew irritated and chaffed if he wore it for too long while exercising. Besides, it wasn't like he could make it stronger. That was Mei's job. "I almost wish I could have killed Chikazoku."

"It had to be done. She was just the one who got there first. Even I hesitated for a moment. Next time, we won't let that happen."

They ran in silence for a few minutes, until Izuku thought of something. "Any luck on the electronics?"

"Not yet," Shinso panted, shaking his head as sweat ran down his face. "I'm having to be careful. Everything's password protected, and if I screw this up, we could lose the data. I thought about giving it to a real expert, but I decided...well, this is my fight."

Izuku nodded. He trusted that Shinso would ask for help if he needed it. "You think we really got him? We got Re-Destro and now the MLA will die?"

"Honestly? No, I don't. Well, I mean, I'm pretty sure we got Re-Destro, but the MLA won't just die. There's their drug operations, the propaganda they're putting out, all that stuff. Their online publications were all talking about the 'Brave Martyrs' and said a statement from Re-Destro will be coming soon. I think they have to find a new one. Maybe they'll tear themselves apart if we're lucky, but I don't think that will happen."

"Yeah. That makes sense." Izuku thought for a few moments, keeping a steady pace. Shinso slowed, slowly coming to a stop and catching his breath. "You think we did the right thing?"

That made Shinso sigh, sitting down on the bench and looking down at Izuku's arm next to him. "I don't know. I wish I did. I mean, it felt right, at the time. But...maybe we went about it wrong. We could have quietly scooped Chikazoku up, or had more police, or ambulances there, or...something. But now it's too late, and 178 people are dead. More still might from their injuries. Sure, a lot of them, hell most of them, were MLA bastards, but a lot of them were innocents caught in the crossfire. I just don't know."

"We didn't save everyone," Izuku said, shaking his head as sweat poured down his face. He wiped at his eyes, but knew the sting was more from tears than sweat.

"Nobody ever saves everyone. We just screwed up. But, we did get the data. I'm going back to work on it," Shinso said. "Maybe then it will be worth it."

Izuku finished his workout, then headed back to the dorms. Mei was still sleeping, so he put his arm on and went about making some breakfast. He looked up a recipe on his phone, trying to lose himself in the busywork of cooking.

"Good morning Izuku!" Mei said, smiling as she entered into the kitchen. He smiled back, feeling a bit of the weight lift from his shoulders. "Wow, you made a lot of food, are you really hungry?"

Izuku looked down, realizing he'd cooked nearly enough food for half a dozen people. "Um, maybe someone else is hungry?"

"I'm always hungry!" a chipper voice declared, and for once Izuku nearly jumped out of his skin as Togata popped out of the wall.

"Ha! Got you!" the upperclassman laughed. "Just thought I'd check in on you guys today! Sorry I haven't visited in a while, I've been really busy, tracking down the League of Villains and whatnot!"

"Oh, um, good morning, Togata," Izuku managed. He glanced down at the rice, eggs, and sausage he had prepared. "Um, would you like some breakfast?"

"It's more like dinner for me, but sure! Good morning, Hari!"

"Hey," Hari mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. She looked like she'd been up late herself. "What are you doing here, Togata? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Just thought I'd come visit my favorite bunch of 1st Years and their big sister!" Togata said, scooping up four plates. "Come on, let's eat!"

Izuku sat down with the others, Mei eagerly digging in. He picked at his food, not feeling all that hungry.

"It's hard," Togata said, not having touched his own food. He was looking down at his plate, a melancholy expression on his normally cheery face. "The first time you really see a disaster unfold."

Slowly, Izuku set down his chopsticks, looking up nervously at Togata. "You...You know what happened? Sorry, that's a dumb question, everyone knows. It's been on the news constantly for days."

"I know," Togata said quietly. He sighed, then tried to force a smile. "It's not something they tell you when you first sign up. Well, I mean, Aizawa tries, I think, to let you know. But...you're not ready. Not really."

"We weren't," Izuku agreed, tears coming to his eyes again. "So many people died."

"But you saved so many people!" Mei protested. "Don't think about the ones you didn't save, Izuku! Think about everyone you did help!"

"She's right," Togata said, giving Mei one of his usual bright smiles. "It's like the starfish."

"Starfish?" Hari asked, looking at her own food as though she wanted to sick up on it.

"Yeah, starfish," Togata agreed, smiling. "Midoriya knows, don't you?"

Izuku nodded. "All Might said something about it in one of his interviews a while back. It's about saving the ones you can, but...You tell it, Togata. You know it better than I do."

"Ok." Togata took a deep breath, then smiled confidently. "A man was walking along the beach after a storm. Hundreds, no, thousands of starfish had washed up on the sand. In the light of day, they were slowly drying out, dying. The man felt bad, but knew there was nothing he could do to save all of the starfish, so he just continued his walk."

"A short time later, he came upon a boy running up and down the beach. He was picking up starfish, and hurling them back out into the waves. Curious, the man walked up to the boy. 'Why are you doing this,' he asked. 'You can't save all of them. What you're doing won't matter in the grand scheme of things.'"

"The boy paused, eyeing a starfish in his hand. It was a beautiful creature, deep purple with orange dots along it. He hefted the starfish, then threw it back into the ocean. 'It mattered to that one,' he said."

Izuku nodded, closing his eyes and resting his head in his hands, sniffling. Mei put her arms around Izuku, rubbing his back and humming softly. He clutched at her, letting her soothe his worries for a moment.

"That was really sweet," Hari said, smiling at Togata. "Thanks. You should tell all the kids that story."

"Why? It's stupid." Bakugo slumped into a chair at the table with a plate of the breakfast Izuku had made, looking nearly as battered as he had after the Sports Festival.

"Well, maybe next time I'll just leave you on the beach then," Uraraka said, smiling and putting her own plate down. "Um, I hope you don't mind, but there was some extra and we sort of helped ourselves."

"No, no, it's fine," Izuku assured them. "Please, eat. And, um, it's good to see you again, Kaachan."

Bakugo looked like he was about to explode, until Uraraka put her hand on his in an oddly intimate gesture. He glanced at her, then took a deep breath. "Please. Don't call me that. Katsuki...that's fine. But I'm not a little kid anymore. And neither are you, Izuku. Unless you want me to go back to calling you a worthless Deku."

Izuku considered that. "I feel like a Deku, after what happened."

"Well you're not, dumbass," Bakugo growled. "You fought hard, saved a lot of people. Saved my ass too."

"But I didn't save you!" Izuku said, feeling his heart lurch.

"That's my job," Uraraka said primly, calmly eating her food. "Someone's got to keep this idiot under control."

"Yeah, yeah," Bakugo muttered. He eyed Togata, who was quietly eating now. "I guess your story wasn't completely stupid, seeing as I was one of those dumb fish myself. Coulda used you there, in case you were wondering."

"Maybe," Togata said with a half hearted shrug. "But I was in the mountains. I fought, well, a pretty scary villain."

"Was that the earthquakes we had a few days ago?" Mei asked eagerly. "I thought they were different!"

Togata hesitated, then nodded. "It might have been. I...fought Gigantomachia."

"You fought against the Walking Disaster Zone?!" Izuku gasped. "I thought he was dead! Did you capture him?"

"Yes," Togata said with a sigh. "He's in Tartarus now, with All For One and Stain. It was...well, it was a brutal fight."

"You don't look hurt at all for it being such a big battle," Hari said, looking Togata over. "What happened?"

"I...we…" Togata suddenly rested his head in his hands, and started weeping.

"Togata!" Izuku gasped, standing. Mei stood as well, looking confused, while Bakugo and Uraraka froze, their mouths full of food.

Hari seemed to know just what to do, however, sliding out of her chair and putting her arms around Togata. "Shhh. It's OK. What's the matter?"

"He's dead," Togata wept. "I wasn't fast enough! I wasn't strong enough! He's dead!"

"Whose dead?" Izuku asked, feeling panicked. "Not All Might?"

"No," Togata whispered, shaking his head. "Gran Torino. Gigantomachia ambushed us. I tried to stop him, but I was too slow…"

"Gran Torino?" Bakugo said, looking puzzled. Uraraka frowned at him, and Bakugo coughed. "Um, that's rough, buddy."

"Was he a friend of yours?" Hari asked, gently rubbing Togata's back much the same way Mei had done to Izuku a moment ago.

"He was one of my mentors. He...he's who...," Togata hiccuped and shook his head. "Nevermind. He was a friend of All Might's, and taught me a lot about what it means to be a hero. He was helping me track down Kurogiri, the teleporter for the League of Villains. We found Kurogiri, but...but Gigantomachia was there. Gran Torino…I wasn't strong enough. I thought I had Gigantomachia, but then, he hit me. I should have dodged it, should have phased through, but I got careless, cocky, and...and then I was lying there, and his hand was coming down on me, and I thought I was going to die. Gran Torino got me out of the way, but..."

"I'm sorry," Hari said quietly. She sighed. "I know you're older than these kids and all, but sheesh. You're still in highschool. Are you even 18 yet?"

"Well, yes," Togata admitted. "I am an adult, I should be able to handle this. I'm All Might's heir! But I couldn't even save my own friend. That's why I told Amajiki and Hado they couldn't come with me. All Might was right. This burden will take my life."

"What burden are you babbling about?" Bakugo snapped. "Look, we were there at Kamino too. You think you're All Might? That is some bullshit."

Togata's head snapped up, and both Hari and Uraraka glared at Bakugo, but he ignored them. "You know what killed All Might? I'm not talking about Mr. Yagi, I'm talking about All Might, the hero, but it damn well will kill Yagi too. It was the fact that the whole damn country, hell, most of the damn world, put all their faith in him. And it damn well broke him. Symbol of Peace? Ha! More like target practice! Every little mincing villain with delusions of grandeur, every pro who had dreams of being number one, they all tried to tear him down. You know it's true!"

"Haven't you figured it out yet? That's why they wanted twenty two of us, instead of it just being you. Oh, sure, you might be as strong as All Might, but I freaking doubt it. They figured out the problem: if your Symbol of Peace is just one man, when he goes down everything goes to hell in a handbasket straight away."

"So this time they tried something else: Spread it around a little. Yeah, sure, one or two of us might turn out to be screwups, I mean, those dumbasses picked me after all but they mostly have good people like Ochako, Izuku, and even you, you fat headed moron. So they figure, 'hey, one or two of these kids dies or gets seriously crippled, no big deal.'"

"So don't try to be All Might. Or you'll end up a crippled old man, dead before you're 50. Next time, you ass, come and tell us, or your friends, or whoever else, and bring us with you, you muscle brained moron! You can't expect one person to prop up a whole damn country! But if we want to survive, if Izuku and Mei are ever going to have a baby they didn't make with a model kit, then we damn well have to stick together! Or did you not get the message about me almost buying it last week?!"

By the end, Bakugo was screaming, tears running down his face as he stood on the table, his arms flung wide. Togata was looking up at him with his mouth open, while Izuku and Mei clung to one another. But Uraraka was nodding, her expression determined. She reached up, grabbing Bakugo and hauling him down. "And that goes double for you, Mr. Asshole. So no more suicide missions without at least me with you, got it!"

"I can't ask you guys to make the same sacrifice I did," Togata said quietly, looking down at his hands. "I walked into this with open eyes. I knew what would happen, what could happen, when All Might made me his heir."

"And when the hell did he do that while we weren't looking?" Bakugo demanded. "In case you didn't notice, we ALL signed on. Hell, I knew I could die the first time I followed Izuku into hell to get Mei back, but I did it willingly. So did Ochako. Shit, so did Hari. Everyone here signed up for the duration. Did anyone run away after Kamino? Did anyone say 'screw this, I'm out' after Feel Good? No. We're heroes. So screw you, shut up and let us help you."

Togata studied Bakugo, his brow furrowing. "So if I were to give you unimaginable power, and tell you the future of Japan was in soley your hands…?"

Bakugo pointed to Ochako. "Then I'd have to damn well share it with her, and the rest of these idiots who let me hang out with them. Because in case you hadn't noticed, I already have unimaginable power!" Bakugo clapped his hands, a sharp explosion sending plates and bowls rattling.

"There are easier ways to swat flies, dumbass!" Jiro's voice shouted from the hallway. "Keep your voice down! And tell Togata to stop being a bitch! Some of us are trying to sleep! GOD!"

"Sorry!" Togata called, then winced and covered his mouth. "Oops. Guess it's still kinda early, huh?"

"Hell if I know," Bakugo said with a shrug. "I can't hardly sleep these days anyway."

For some reason, that comment made Uraraka blush deeply, and that made Hari's eyes narrow. She stood up from Togata, looking between Bakugo and Uraraka. Bakugo gave her a blank look back, but Uraraka went beat red and started shoveling food in her mouth again.

"Hey! Togata! Long time no see man! How's it goin'?" Kirishima asked, striding into the kitchen and giving a big thumbs up. "Yo! Kyoka! I'm stealing some of your cereal again!"

"God dammit Eijiro if you eat the last of it so help me I will rain hell upon you!"

"I'm stealing some too!" Ashido said, sliding into the kitchen. "Guess it's time to get up! Day's a wastin'!"

"And some of us would like to waste it, IN BED!" Jiro snarled, stalking into the kitchen in her pajamas. She snatched the box of cereal out of Kirishima's hands, shaking it. "Hmph. This one's mostly full. Fine. Take some, you vultures."

"There's more in the pantry," Hari called. She stood up from kneeling by Togeta, walking over to Uraraka and whispering something in the other girl's ear. Uraraka went beet red, shaking her head at first, then nodding reluctantly.

"I'm watching you," Hari muttered to Bakugo before retaking her seat.

Bakugo grimaced, then for reasons Izuku didn't understand, blushed and looked away.

"Ugh, why is everyone so loud?" Kaminari complained, yawning as he stumbled into the kitchen. He brightened when he saw the bowls of cereal. "Oh hey, that's my favorite! Sweet, can I have some?"

"Everyone else is," Jiro muttered, waving her hand. "Fine, but you jerks have to buy some next."

"Ah, don't worry about it Kyoka," Ashido laughed as the others took their place at the table. "We're all millionaires now!"

"Well I won't be if you jerks keep eating my cereal!" Jiro grumbled around a mouthful.

Kaminari took a bite, then, slowly, a wide grin spread over his face, and he elbowed Izuku. "Hey, hey Izuku, you know what kind of cereal this is?"

"Um, Honey Os?" Izuku said, glancing at the bowl.

"They're Jir-Os!" Kamaria said, grinning widely.

Togata burst out laughing, while everyone else groaned loudly, save Mei, who mostly looked confused.

"Get it? Mei?" Kaminari prompted. "They're shaped like an O, and they're Jiro's so, they're Jir-Os!"

"Ha! Yes, that is very funny Denki!" Mei agreed, now laughing as hard as Togata, which made the older boy laugh even louder.

"You are such a dork," Jiro muttered, trying to hide her flushed face in her bowl of cereal. "I am so not giving you any more." Then she turned her baleful gaze on another target. "Thanks for waking me up last night, Bakugo. What the hell were you doing when you got back, crunches? You look beat to hell, just go to bed, your room's right above mine!"

Uraraka gasped, choking on her rice. Bakugo glanced at her, then pounded her back until she coughed and started to breath again, fanning her face.

"Yeah. Sorry. I'll try and keep it down next time," Bakugo said, his face perfectly straight as Uraraka guzzled water, his hand still on her back.

"Yeah well screw you- wait, did you just apologize?" Jiro asked, looking confused. She looked to Ashido. "Ok, I know I'm the one who's supposed to have good hearing and all, but I did hear that, right?"

"Mmph?" Ashido grunted, a bit of milk leaking out of her lips as her cheeks bulged with cereal.

"Well, sounds like maybe you finally learned some manners and started to become a real man after all!" Kirishima laughed. "Guess Uraraka's rubbing off on you finally!"

"I need to go now," Uraraka said, quickly standing. "Thank you for breakfast, Izuku!"

"Screw you too, dumbass," Bakugo grumbled, standing and going after Uraraka.

"What's eating those two?" Jiro said, sounding confused.

Hari sighed, standing and pushing her chair in. Mei grabbed her sister's half eaten plate and shoved it onto her own, happily chowing down. "I'll just see to that. Togata, you're welcome to stay as long as you want. Talk to the others, they might understand too. And, if you need a shoulder to cry on, well, I guess I'm everyone's big sister now. Until I get my idiot self fired."

Izuku started to eat his own breakfast, despite the fact that it was cold.

"Hey, Togata, man, we get it, by the way," Kirishima said, setting down his now empty bowl and wiping his chin with the back of his hand. "This hero thing? Yeah, way harder than I thought. But we don't have to do it alone. I got these guys to help me, right Deki?"

"Yeah!" Kaminari agreed, bumping his fist against Kirishima's. "Bro's for life!" Then the energetic boy deflated. "But...yeah. A few days ago sucked. Without these guys, well, I'd be a mess right now."

"Yeah, you're like, our example and stuff!" Ashido said happily, setting aside her own empty bowl. "You can talk to us!"

"I don't know," Togata said, laughing and awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. "I mean, I am the upperclassman, you guys should be coming to me for advice!"

"That is silly, you came to me for underwear," Mei stated matter of factly. "If you need social skills, you should talk to Mina though. She is very good at them."

"Sometimes, we're the starfish too," Izuku said quietly.

Togata glanced at Izuku, hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. I guess even I need saving sometimes."

"Starfish?" Kaminari asked, looking puzzled. "Since when are we starfish?"

"Because you're the most Patrick person I have ever met," Jiro said seriously.

Kaminari blinked, clearly not understanding. "I'm...a what now?"

"'[Duuuh, is this the Krusty Krab]?'" Jiro said in English with an odd, exaggerated accent. "['NO! THIS IS PATRICK]!'" She burst out laughing, leaning back in her chair. Everyone else stared at her with a total lack of understanding. After a moment, Jiro stopped, leaning forward. "What, have you people NEVER seen Spongebob? Come on! 'Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea?'"

"Um, Patrick?" Kaminari guessed.

"No! Patrick lives under a rock!" Jiro vehemently corrected. "Ok, this is like, a serious hole in you people's education. We are so watching Spongebob today. You all have the day off of patrols, right? What about you, Togata?"

"I suppose I could take the day off like Mr. Inui told me to," Togata said with a sigh. "I was just going to go out on patrol. The League is still out there."

"Yeah, or you could do something important! Like watch Spongebob with us!" Jiro argued.

Mei frowned. "Is this in English? I do not like English."

"We'll watch the dubbed version for all you heathens. That way, Fry Brain can appreciate it too. I wouldn't want him to hurt himself trying to read the subtitles," Jiro said sweetly.

"Oh ha ha, I'll have you know I'm pretty good at reading English, Ears!" Kaminari said defiantly.

Kirishima chuckled and set his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Man, you should just let it go. The subtitles would be in Japanese."

"I knew that, I just wanted her to know I'm not dumb, you know?" Kaminari muttered.

"Maybe you should try keeping your big mouth shut for once, that might actually do the trick," Kirishima declared, slapping his friend on the back. "What do you say, Izuku, Mei? Can we drag you two lovebirds out of the workshop for a few hours to have some fun?"

Mei looked at Izuku, and for a moment she looked worried. "Yes," she said, surprising Izuku. "I think Izuku needs to be with friends. He is not happy right now and our babies are not helping very much."

"Then Spongebob it is!" Jiro declared. She walked away, singing a very odd song in english as she went. "[ARE YOU READY KIDS! I CAN'T HEEEEAAAAAARRRR YOUUUU!]"

She returned a short time later, hooking her phone up to the TV, and putting on some old American cartoons, which to Mei's relief were dubbed into Japanese. At first, Izuku really didn't understand the appeal of it. It seemed rather childish to him, with seemingly nonsensical jokes and a bizarre meandering plot. To his surprise though, Mei found the show fascinating, laughing loudly along with Jiro at every weird joke.

Slowly, Izuku began to relax, as Mei snuggled up to him on the couch, giggling at the antics of the animated sea life. Hari returned after a few minutes, sitting down and laughing herself. Even Togata seemed to enjoy himself, though his sense of humor was odd enough that Izuku wasn't sure what that said about the show.

As he sat, Izuku felt his eyes closing, and he dozed off, surrounded by friends and happiness. And instead of nightmares, he dreamed of a world of laughter, and of peace.