Beta'd by kylekatarn77 and Poliamida
52. Nose Butter
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Izuku woke from his nap to find Mei drooling on his shoulder, snoring softly. The rest of the others were sleeping as well, including Togata and Hari. It had been a hard couple of days, so Izuku wasn't surprised. He gingerly shifted himself, taking the remote and changing the input from Jiro's phone and the old cartoons. He flipped through the channels, settling on a news program. At first it was normal, everyday things, going over a few human interest stories such as a girl with a quirk that let her talk to her gerbils and how she'd trained them to perform tricks. But then it shifted to more dire matters.
"Crime rates are up 2% in the last month, a shocking rise. Despite the best efforts of the new Pillars of Peace and the pro hero community, criminals are becoming increasingly bold across the country," the female news anchor explained.
"That's right. And today, we've assembled a panel of experts to discuss this phenomena," the male reporter, who Izuku recognized as Miyagi stated. "With me tonight are, Mr. Rikiya Yotsubashi, CEO of Detnerat."
The screen split to show a smiling man with a long, pointed nose, and a receding hairline of red hair. Izuku recognized him, and Mei stirred slightly.
"Izuku?" Mei asked, blinking.
"Shh, it's OK, go back to sleep. I'm just watching the news," Izuku said, reaching around to pat Mei's leg.
She shifted, looking up. "Hey! It's Yotsubashi, the guy who makes all the cute babies! Well, not as cute as ours."
"-Junior Minister Koku Hanabata of the Ministery of Justice-" the screen this time showed a greasy looking man with a slicked back haircut and a ghost of a mustache wearing a cheap suit.
"No, go back to Detnerat!" Mei told the TV. "I want to hear more about their new babies! Did you know I used to want to work for Detnerat! They have lots of money! And they make all kinds of cute babies, we got Komaru's goggles from them until I made better ones."
"No I didn't, but it makes sense. You don't still want to work for a big support company?" Izuku asked.
"No, we are going to have our own company, and make cute babies for you and all of our friends," Mei stated. "I thought you knew that!"
"Well, I mean, we've never really talked about what we plan to do in the future," Izuku admitted. "It was always getting into UA, and then getting into the Hero Course, and now we're just trying to survive."
"Well, obviously you will have a big hero agency like Endeavor, but all of our friends will work there too. And Hari, and Togata, and even my mom and dad!" Mei proclaimed. She frowned, glancing at Izuku. "That is what you want to do, isn't it, Izuku?"
Izuku considered that as the last panelist was announced, a supposed hero expert named Aorio Kuraishisu. Izuku didn't think much of the man, who looked a bit like a demon with two small horns on his forehead and pointed ears on a pale face.
"I mean, that sounds really great. I hope we can all stick together." He glanced over at Ashido, Jiro, Kaminari,and Kirishima, who were splayed out together over a pile of pillows in the middle of the floor. "It would be nice to keep working together. We've gotten really close as a class. But… pro hero teams almost never work out."
"Why not?" Mei asked, sounding confused. "Don't they like to work together?"
"It's mostly because of money," Izuku explained. "Pro's have enormous overhead for insurance. Endeavor's agency is practically shut down right now as they try to deal with all the claims and lawsuits that are coming in from the Battle at Feel Good. You can make more money as one big pro instead of having to split the spotlight. But, well, there's also ego. Some people are too proud to be willing to work together. And people get in fights."
Mei considered this. "But, but we're all good friends, right? We'll stick together?"
"I hope so," Izuku said, sighing and shaking his head. "But, well, we've already had our share of little tifts. And there was how Katsuki has been acting. I'm glad he's not mad at Ochako, I was worried he'd be angry at her."
"They should not fight, they should be nice to one another!" Mei stated firmly. "Ochako saved Bakugo's life! He should be nice to her for that."
"He's nicer than he was," Izuku said, then frowned. What was that they had just said on TV?
"-all I'm saying is that society's faith in the heroes is shaken, and that the incident at Feel Good isn't helping things," Kuraishisu was saying. "Even our Number 1 is struggling to keep the lights on with the numbers of claims he's had to pay out."
"There were certain heroes involved in that incident that I have a hard time trusting myself," Hanabata agreed. "This is what comes of letting quirkless individuals become heroes, and allowing a pack of children run rampant. I opposed such a move in my ministry, but I'm afraid I was in the minority."
"What!?" Mei snarled, jerking upright. "You shut up you-you-you big stupid!"
"Huh?" Kaminari said, jerking upright, one hand raised and sparking with power. "What happened? Where's the fight?"
"Fight?!" Ashido gasped jumping to her feet as well, a ball of acid forming in her hands. "Where? I'm ready!"
"RAARRRR!" Kirishima roared, his quirk activating as he surged to his feet, his clothes ripping in the process.
Jiro was silent, but rose to a crouch, her eyes darting back and forth.
Hari let out a squeal of indignation, as Togata jumped on top of her, his eyes shifting back and forth. "Where is it, what happened?"
"That dummy says Izuku can't be a hero!" Mei ranted, pointing at the TV.
Everyone else blinked. "What?" Jiro managed.
They turned to the TV just as Yotsubashi started to speak, "While I agree it was a mistake to allow a quirkless boy into the ranks of the heroes, I think the real issue is that we have heroes pushing a personal, political agenda. It's tragic that so many lost their lives in a reckless attack on civilians. Chikazoku was a personal friend of mind, and while I must say that it does seem he responded poorly to Endeavor's intrusion, can he really be blamed? He must have thought that he and his employees were in danger, and he was right. We have 189 dead now, all because of reckless action by the heroes. Someone needs to rein them in."
"Oh, it's the TV?" Ashido said. She looked down at her acid covered hand, frowning. "Great, now I have to do something about this."
Kirishima went bright red, his quirk deactivating. He grabbed a pillow, trying to hide behind it. While his modesty was mostly preserved, you could see his undergarments now, his pants and shirt having been reduced to rags. Kaminari snickered, while Jiro went red herself and looked away. Ashido, on the other hand, grinned and looked appraising, elbowing her friend.
"Togata," Hari said, her voice muffled. "As sweet as this is, could you maybe get off of me?"
"Oh!" Togata jumped off, rubbing the back of his head and going beat red himself. "Sorry! I just, well, I thought maybe it was a villain attack or something horrible."
"It is horrible!" Mei snarled, now on her feet, her hands clenched into fists. "Those jerks are saying Izuku shouldn't be a hero! They're saying bad things about all of you!"
"Yeah, um, that's too bad, and I uh- bye." Kirishima waddled off, still looking mortified.
"Ha! Who's the stupid one now?!" Kaminari chuckled.
"Them!" Mei declared, her eyes seeming to burn with fury as she glared at the TV.
"Mei, it's OK, I can change the channel," Izuku said, fumbling for the remote.
"No, wait," Togata said, turning and frowning at the TV. "Let's hear what they have to say. It's important to know how the public perceives us."
"I'd like to think that we still live in a civilized society, one where the ideals of the Meta Liberation Army are seen as the idiotic and dangerous rehetoric that they are," Kuraishisu said, going up several notches in Izuku's estimation. "But nevertheless, the old system is failing. Hanabata, what is the government's plan to deal with this crisis?"
"Honestly, we're simply trying to recruit more heroes at this point," Hanabata said with a sigh. "The higher ups in the ministry don't think it's a good idea to change tactics. They think simply having more heroes in the street will solve the crisis through sheer force of numbers."
"Well, rest assured, Detnerat will do it's part," Yotsubashi said, smiling. "We're releasing a new line of Support Gear soon, for heroes, and for civilians who need to protect themselves."
"Is that quite legal?" Miyaga asked. "Civilians aren't allowed to use Support Equipment."
"We're working with the government to see if we can get new laws passed," Yotsubashi explained with a friendly smile. "After all, we saw what happened when everything rested on the shoulders of All Might. He was a great man, the greatest hero the world has ever seen, and perhaps the person we all admire most. But even All Might couldn't actually be All Might. Eventually, he proved to be just as human as the rest of us. Aren't we doing the same thing now by putting our faith in a group of children, some of which unfortunately don't even have strong quirks to help them? Perhaps we could be stronger if we all stood together."
"That sounds like the same crap the MLA spews," Jiro said, folding her arms over her chest and scowling.
Togata nodded, looking worried. "If this is really what people think…"
"I can assure you, there are those of us in the Ministry of Justice that will do everything in our power to ensure that our population stays safe, including doing away with old, antiquated ideas about self-defense," Hanabata stated.
"I've got you, you son of a bitch!"
Everyone turned to see Shinso, his eerie tombstone grin spread over his face as he typed on a laptop held in one hand "THAT'S who Trumpet is! I'm in!"
"What do you mean?" Togata asked, looking confused.
Shinso spun the computer around, showing everyone the screen. "Chikazoku wasn't Re-Destro. That's someone else. He was high up in the MLA though, one of the top lieutenants. His password hint was 'trumpet.' Well, we've got that asshole on TV trumpeting the MLA's lines."
"So his password was Hanabata? That seems stupid," Jiro said, frownng.
"No, his password was [boogers], in english," Shinso said eagerly.
"Um, is it just me, or are you guys not following this either?" Kaminari asked, sounding confused.
Shinso shook his head. "My family visited Hawaii a few times, my uncle lives there. He told me to wipe my hanabatas, which meant boogers. So Chikazoku's password was [boogers]!"
"This seems like an insane leap in logic," Ashido said, sounding concerned.
Mei, however, dashed over and examined the screen. "You did it, Shinso! You're in!"
"There's still some files I can't get access to, these folders are password protected too, but…" Shinso spun the computer around, clicking a few times. "Ah-ha! And here's proof. Koku Hanabata: listed as Trumpet. If he's not Re-Destro, he's close. He's the man that I think Chikazoku reported too, but we'll have to do more digging."
"Wow, nice work Shinso," Hari said, coming over and patting him on the shoulder. "Looks like you really will take down the MLA."
"Finally," Shinso growled. He looked up at Togata and smiled. "What about it, big guy? You wanna help smash some bad guys?"
Togata nodded, making a fist with his right hand. "Sir Nighteye and I have hit a dead end with the League of Villains. A team-up against the MLA sounds perfect."
"Are we going to tell Endeavor about this?" Jiro asked, folding her arms over her chest. "Or just go grab the bastard ourselves? I mean, we know where he is." She gestured to the TV, where the now revealed MLA leader was still spouting his organization's propaganda. This time, the picture of Izuku threatening the reporters was on the screen, making him feel sick when he saw it.
For some reason, Izuku and the others looked to Hari, who blinked at them. "What? Just because I'm the adult in the room, um, no offense Togata, doesn't mean I know crap about heroing. The only time I tried it, I got arrested, remember?"
"Yeah I think we probably should tell Endeavor," Izuku said, rubbing his chin. He looked around, frowning. "Where's my arm?"
It turned out to be buried under the couch cushions, though how that had happened no one seemed to know. Izuku put it on while Shinso sent a text to Shoto, telling him what they had found. Meanwhile, Kirishima ran through the dorms banging on doors, while Ashido sent text messages to those who weren't in the building. Izuku and Mei ran to the workshop, quickly preping the Power Armor from the repairs they'd needed to do over the past few days.
Within two hours, everyone was back at Endeavor's hero agency, while Shinso presented the information discovered on Chikazoku's laptop.
"-so in short, we've got Hanabata cold with this evidence, while we've also got a lot of information on the MLA members at Feel Good Inc. Most of them we've already captured though, and I think we should just leave that to the police," Shinso explained.
"Do you now?" Endeavor said, frowning. "Well, I suppose the small fry we can leave for the police, we got most of them anyway. Did you find anything on the drugs? The fact that we found
nothing at all was troubling."
Shinso shook his head. "No, there's nothing about drugs or production of them on the computer, aside from a few references to Geten and Hanabata being involved with them."
"Interesting," Endeavor drummed his fingers on the table, his flames flickering low as he considered the new information. "So Chikazoku wasn't involved, but Hanabata was? This is troubling. He's one of the top officials in the Ministry of Justice. If he's really the one calling the shots, that would make him Re-Destro."
"So? We still take his ass down," Bakugo said, leaning back in his chair. "If he's Re-Destro, or Trumpet, or whatever, he's one of their bigwigs. We get rid of him, we win."
Endeavor frowned, his flames flickering low. "Perhaps. The Battle at Feel Good Inc was a disaster. I had no idea there would be so many MLA members there. A few certainly, but the hundreds we encountered? It was madness. It looks like nearly half the employees were MLA members. And it's cost us dearly financially."
Shinso looked up. "What do you mean? Surely they're not going to charge us for the damage, it was the MLA that caused most of it."
"The MLA isn't an official group. They don't have large coffers to get money from when you have hospital bills to pay or greedy lawyers looking for an easy pay out," Endeavor stated, his flames flaring up to betray his anger despite his calm tone. "Most of the claims will be thrown out, but the legal fees alone are going to put me deeply in the red, especially since this incident has caused both my and your popularity to take a serious hit, resulting in less sales."
"Well...can we fix that by taking down Hanabata?" Izuku asked hopefully.
Endeavor nodded grimly. "We'll have to, and we need to do it quickly. However, we can't risk another incident, that would cause far more harm than help."
"The obvious solution is to not capture him while he's in a place of relative strength for himself," Aizawa stated. "Take him while he's alone, isolated. With minimum civilians around who could get caught in the crossfire."
"Perhaps," Endeavor allowed. "I don't want the students caught up in another fiasco. Whatever happens, you will stay behind."
"What!?" Izuku found himself exclaiming, along with similar sentiments from the others.
Endeavor raised a hand to forestall them. "Right now, the majority of the blame for Feel Good is falling to me, and the majority of credit to you. This is as intended. If you accompany me and another disaster befalls us, you'll be caught up in the blame. Best not to further besmirch your good names."
"But I'm the one who found out about this!" Shinso said, his face going red.
"Hey, relax kid," Burnin said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It ain't cause the boss wants to steal your thunder. He's tryin' to protect ya."
"And what about me?" Togata demanded. "I came to help take down the MLA. They're a threat to society, just like the League of Villains."
Endeavor seemed to hesitate, then looked to Aizawa. For his part, Aizawa gave Togata a long, measuring look, then nodded. "Take him with you. But don't let him show himself unless things go well. We can't afford to have his reputation stained."
"I already have one 'Stain' on my reputation, but he's in tartarus!" Togata quipped. It fell flat however, save for Hari, who snorted and tried to hide her giggles behind a hand.
"So you'll let him go? That doesn't seem right," Shota said bitterly.
"Associating Togata with the Number 1 Hero is a part of our long term strategy," Aizawa explained. "Unfortunately, the rest of you would stand out too much. You'll keep doing patrols and street level work for now."
"If this goes well, don't worry. I'll make sure to credit Class 1A, and you in particular, Shinso," Endeavor said. "The excuse as for why you weren't with me is obvious; you're all still recovering from your wounds."
"Yeah, and I could have done that in bed instead of getting dragged here," Sero grumbled. He'd been eager enough to come after a late night patrol, but the realization that they wouldn't be helping to collar Hanabata was souring everyone's mood.
"So how will you go about capturing Hanabata if we're not going to be involved? Are you just going to march into the Ministry of Justice?" Shinso demanded.
Endeavor drummed his fingers on the table. "Yes...I might do exactly that. It wouldn't be unusual for me to make an appointment to meet with one of the junior ministers. I've actually met and talked to Hanabata before, so we have something of a prior relationship." He looked to Togata. "Having you come along wouldn't raise many suspicions either, we can claim that we want to give you some experience working alongside me."
"Well alright, but only if the others are OK with me going along with you," Togata said, looking to Class 1A and smiling. "I wouldn't want to just steal their thunder."
"Oh just go do it," Shinso grumbled. "Be nice for someone to have some fun on this."
With that, they were dismissed, leaving most of them to head back to the dorms.
"Well that was a waste of time," Shinso grumbled as he slumped into his seat on the bus. Hari had helpfully driven most of the class there, but the sense of excited urgency was faded entirely now.
"No, we did still get a lot of good information on the MLA. Trumpet is one of their top leaders. Even if he's not Re-Destro, getting him arrested will deal some serious damage to their organization," Izuku pointed out.
"I guess," Shinso grumbled. "I just wanted to be there when it happened."
Mei nodded seriously. "I understand. It is like when you get to use one of me and Izuku's babies to fight bad guys. I do not get to see how cute they are, but at least I know they are being used!"
Shinso studied Mei. "Yeah. I guess you don't get to really see all your hard work in action. Never really thought about that."
"It is OK!" Mei assured Shinso. "I like that I get to help my friends, and I do not like fighting. It is scary. When Izuku and the rest of my friends fight I do not like it when they get hurt, but I know you would all be sad if you did not get to fight bad guys because you are all heroes who help people."
"Hey, you're my hero," Izuku said, squeezing Mei's hand. "You work hard to keep us safe when we're on missions. Even if you're not there with us in person, you keep us coordinated and send supplies and back up. That's important."
"That is a nice thing to say, but I think it is not the same," Mei said with a shake of her head. "I have seen how sad everyone was after the battle. I do not know everything that happened, but you are all very sad. I also think you are not sleeping, Izuku. Your eyes are starting to look like Shinso's and that is not good."
Izuku blushed and glanced at Shinso, who had perpetual dark shadows under his eyes. Now though, Shino's eyes were also bloodshot, and it was clear he was having trouble sleeping as well.
"She's not wrong. I've been an insomniac for years. Spend too much time online. Before it was just stupid games or posting on message boards, but now it's part of the job." Shinso let out a heavy sigh. "Who knew that my days of writing angry posts on the web would lead to taking down two MLA bigwigs?"
"Maybe we should let Mr. Inui give us something to help us sleep," Izuku said with a sigh. He glanced back at Bakugo, who was snoring next to Uraraka, who had her head on his shoulder while his arm was draped around hers. They actually looked sort of cute, though Izuku knew better than to point it out to his volatile classmate. "I bet we could all use that."
"Hari takes special medicine to help her sleep," Mei said quietly. "She is very scared of the MLA. She does not say anything, but I hear her talk to herself sometimes and she is worried."
"She's another one who got caught up in our mess," Shinso said, shaking his head.
"I think I'm starting to understand what Mr. Aizawa meant," Izuku agreed. "We really didn't know what we were getting into when we went into Kamino Ward."
Mei gave Izuku a worried look, but he smiled and kissed her gently on the forehead. "It was still worth it, Mei. None of us regret what we did."
"At least life isn't boring," Shinso said, leaning back and closing his eyes. "And who knows? Maybe things will start getting easier now."
Authors Note:
The first time I read Hanabata's name I laughed out loud, as it means boogers in pidgin. I don't think this is what was originally intended, but for anyone from Hawaii his name will forever be boogers.