Author's note: Thanks to everyone who was patient in my absence. From time to time, I get the opportunity to write for pay, and when that happens, I have to take a break from these things I'm writing only for love. I still love this story, and I'm so glad to be adding to it again. I hope that I won't need to take another break in writing, but if that does happen, always know that I will come back and finish it. I tell the story, you listen to the story, I finish the story. That's the deal. ~Beth

Michelle Renfield, the real estate agent that Jasper had recommended, was indeed friendly and helpful. Short and plump, she looked somewhere in between middle and old age, but spoke and move with a decisive energy that Bella envied.

"You can go about this one of two ways," she said to Bella, standing with her in Charlie's kitchen after Bella had walked her through the house and yard. "You can make some improvements, and probably push up your selling price by about fifteen thousand. Or you can sell it as is and take less for it. It just depends on how much work you're willing to do yourself, and how much money you need from the sale."

Bella appreciated the woman's candor.

"As is," Bella said. "I'm not very handy, and I want to get back home sooner rather than later."

"No problem," Michelle said, scribbling on a notepad. "There really aren't any major repairs that would hold up inspection that I can see, but it would be a good idea to take care of the gutters, and maybe trim the trees, clean up some of the brush around the property?"

"Sure," Bella said, mentally making a note to ask Sue if any of the guys on the rez might want to pick up some work.

"How about painting?" Michelle asked. "Some fresh interior paint, you know, white or beige, something light and neutral, would help the place show better. I noticed there's a little bit of a cigarette odor in here, too, and the paint would probably take care of that."

Bella looked around at the walls of the kitchen, the same faded sunny yellow that Reneé had painted them more than twenty years ago.

"I don't know if I can do that," she said. "I know, I probably should, but…"

"It's okay," Michelle said, putting a hand on Bella's shoulder. "Don't worry about it. We'll air the place out, spray some Febreeze. It'll be fine. We're pricing it appropriately for a property needing some improvements. It's not necessarily a bad thing. The kind of people who buy fixer-uppers seem to like a house that looks like it needs them a little."

"Thanks; that's good to know," Bella said. "I'm sorry if I'm being difficult. It just feels really strange changing things. This still doesn't really feel like my house."

"I can understand that. Chief Swan lived here a long time. You were only up here with him a couple of years, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I mean, I lived here when I was a little kid, when he and my mom were still married, but I don't remember it very well. I came back and lived here when I was in high school, my last two years."

"That's rather fortunate, don't you think?" Michelle said. "You probably got to know your dad in a way you wouldn't have if you hadn't spent that time here."

"For sure," Bella said. "I sure didn't like it at the time, though. Poor Charlie. I was kind of a monster to him back then."

"I don't think he minded that much," Michelle said. "I knew Charlie a little bit. He helped me out when there were problems with my properties, vandals, that sort of thing. He talked about you all the time, Bella. And when you came back here to stay with him, well, he was just over the moon."

Bella smiled.

"Thanks, for telling me that," she said. "And thanks for helping me with the house."

"Not at all, on both counts," Michelle said. "I'll get the listing up today. The housing market isn't exactly jumping, but since you're okay with pricing it a little lower, we should see some movement soon. There have been more investors interested in this area lately. We might catch a break if one of them thinks this place would make a good rental income property."

"Mmm hmm," Bella said.

She imagined Charlie's home, with its crooked wallpaper and drippy faucets, remade with the same beige paint on all the walls, the same beige carpets on all the floors, the rattling door handles and window latches switched out with modern replacements. She imagined the place all functional and uniform with no identity other than what the renters brought along with them. And the thought of someone renting Charlie's house, of the place changing hands every year or two… It gave her a surprising twinge of distress.

"It's funny," she said. "I hadn't thought about the place becoming a rental property. I always figured another family would buy it."

"That could happen," Michelle said. "But a lot of families are having a harder time buying these days. We see a lot more investors buying up houses, and more families are renting, and moving more than they used to."

"That's a shame," Bella said. Michelle nodded in agreement.

After Bella had signed the papers giving Michelle permission to list the property, the real estate agent left, promising to call if there were any interested buyers.

The house was quiet then. Since Bella had sent Edward away a week, ago, she'd found that the quiet of the empty house had grown somehow deeper, and she couldn't abide it. Almost as soon as the door closed behind Michelle Renfield, Bella went to the record player and took out Joni Mitchell's For the Roses. The house filled with Joni's clear, rich voice as the musician sang about eating her fill at a table laden high, and about a deeper hunger for she-didn't-know-what. This album was one of Bella's favorites; she understood Joni's longing all too well.

When there's plenty of food, you can't imagine being hungry. And when your parents are in your face, in your business, telling you what you should do and who you should be, you can't imagine being sorry they're gone. But then, somehow, they are gone, and there's nothing in the world that can fill up that space inside you. A child, a parent – lose either one and something inside of you becomes unanchored. The past lets go of you, and the future lets go of you, and it's just you, in just this moment, trying to figure out how to be.

Bella still didn't really know how to be, but, at least for the moment, she knew what to do. For the last week, she'd pushed forward, albeit joylessly, with the business of clearing the table of the meal that had been Charlie's life. While there was still a good deal left to go, the house had gotten emptier, and her to-do list had gotten shorter. One of the items on that list even involved the last of her anchoring threads, her mother. Bella sat in the kitchen as she made the call.

"Bella? Hi, sweetie!" The sound of Reneé's voice, full of surprise and excitement, was unexpectedly comforting.

"Hi mom."

"How have you been? Are you okay? I haven't talked to you in forever. What's been going on, hon?" Reneé fired the questions rapidly, not waiting for a response.

"I'm fine. I'm actually up in Forks, taking care of dad's place."

"Oh, Bella, you should have let me know. I would have come help you."

"I know, but I needed to do this myself."

"Are you sure? I can still come up. Phil's season is over, so it's no problem."

Phil had stopped playing baseball for his minor league team a few years ago after a shoulder injury. Now he traveled with the team as their pitching coach. Reneé still went with him on the road most of the time, although she'd stayed behind for much of last season so that she could be more available to Bella and Jacob.

"I'm sure, mom. I've actually gotten a lot of it done already."

"Oh, well, okay," Reneé said, unconvinced.

"The reason I'm calling, actually, is about Charlie's estate. I've gotten some of the money from his accounts, and I wanted to pay you back, you know, for the funeral."

"You don't need to do that," Reneé said. "I know your dad didn't have much. You keep whatever there is. I'm sure you need the money, just taking care of the house and all that."

"No, there's actually plenty for that," Bella said. "I was really surprised, but dad had a lot saved. Like, a lot a lot. Paying you and Phil isn't a problem."

"Wow, I can hardly believe that," Reneé said. "I mean, your dad was a good guy, but he was just not good with money. He never had much in the bank."

"I guess he'd changed," Bella said.

"I guess so," Reneé said. "Well, if you're absolutely sure it's not going to put you out, then sure, you can pay us. Phil's been talking about replacing his car, so I guess we could do that sooner rather than later."

"Sure, mom. I just need to know what you ended up spending. I know I was there when it was all happening, but I honestly don't remember."

"That's certainly understandable, hon. You weren't yourself. Well, let me see, with the service and the burial, that was about nine thousand dollars. If that's too much, it's okay, though. Honestly."

"No, that's fine," Bella said, writing down the amount. "I'm going to the bank today, and I'll get a check out to you soon."

"Thanks," Reneé said. "It's sweet of you to do it. But, hey, talk to me about how you're doing. What have you been up to?"

"Not much," Bella said. The personal turn of the conversation made her uneasy. "I've been through most of Charlie's stuff. I'm going to work on the attic tomorrow."

"Wear long pants," Reneé said. "And tuck them into your socks. There's brown recluses around there, you know."

"Ugh, don't tell me that, mom," Bella said.

"Sorry, but I'm still your mom. Better safe than sorry, Bells."

"I know," Bella said. She paused, then went on. "I saw Jacob, and Billy."

"Really?" Reneé said. "Now that really surprises me. Are you doing okay with all that?"

"I… I think I am," Bella said. "I wasn't expecting to talk to him, but I think it's good that I did. I mean, we're not getting back together or anything like that. But I think it's good that we had some sort of… I don't know. Not closure, not really, but somewhere better to leave it than where it was."

"Well, if it's a good thing for you, then I'm glad. But be careful, Bella. I know Jacob is familiar, and I know you're lonely right now, but something just isn't right with him anymore. I don't even know what it is. I just think it would be a really bad idea to get involved with him again."

"It's not gonna happen, mom," Bella said. "Neither of us want that. But… I've really missed having someone to talk to about David. And I think that Jacob has, too. It's hard right now. I still think about David, like, all the time. But I don't feel like people want to hear about him anymore."

There was a pause on the line, and Bella wondered for a moment if Reneé had heard her.

"You can talk to me about him," Reneé said at last.

"I… Lately it doesn't feel like I can," Bella said. "It seems like you're… Like you've moved past that."

"Oh, Bella, no," Reneé said. "I mean, yeah, where I'm at with David has changed. I read this thing somewhere about how, over time grief moves from your skin and settles into your bones. It's like that, different. But I'm not going to forget him. Not me or Phil. He was my only grandbaby, honey. I think about him every day."

"You don't talk about him anymore when I call," Bella said, feeling tears gather behind her eyes. "We used to talk about him together, and we don't anymore."

"I… God, I'm sorry. I didn't know if that was what you wanted anymore," Reneé said. "Bella, I'm not good at this. I know I'm not. But I really do want to be here for you. I didn't know if… I just don't always know the right thing to do. I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing."

"I know, mom. I know. I get that."

"Please, if I'm doing this wrong – and I'm gonna do this wrong – you have to let me know. I don't want to make any of this harder for you."

"I know, mom," Bella said, wiping her eyes on a corner of her shirt. "It's okay. It is."

There was another long pause. Finally, Reneé spoke again.

"It's almost his birthday," she said.

"I know," Bella said. "I can't even believe it. Can you imagine? He would be saying his first words, learning to walk."

"Getting into everything," Reneé said with a laugh that was thick with tears. "If you and Jacob as kids are any indication, he would have been a handful. Have you thought about what you're going to do, on the day?"

"I don't know," Bella said. "I mean, I'll cry a lot, I'm sure. Look at his pictures, go to his monument."

"Have you been by there? How does it look?"

"It's beautiful, mom. The people from La Push keep it up. But, it's still so… not enough. You know? I'm glad that there's something there with his name on it, something that makes it real that he was here, that he was alive… But it's just not him."

"Yeah, I know, baby," Reneé said. "Sometimes, when I pray, I feel like he's close to me. Do you pray, Bella?"

"No, not anymore," Bella said. "I haven't had great results with it. I do talk to him sometimes, though. To David, I mean. I do that a lot, actually."

"Do you feel like he can hear you?"

"No, not really, but, I still need to do it. You know, like…" Bella paused, trying to describe the thing that kept her talking to her baby as she drove, showered, cleaned house. "It's like I need to… just in case. I don't think that he can hear me, but if I'm wrong about that and he can, he just needs to know that I didn't forget him."

"Oh, he knows. You're his mama. Of course he knows," Reneé said. "And you just remember that we didn't forget him, either, okay? Never, ever, ever."

"Okay, mom. I will."

Bella drove to the bank intending to deposit the checks Jasper had given her and get a cashier's check to mail to Reneé. When she got there, though, she learned that, because of the amount of her deposit and the previous low balance of her account, she would have to wait a few days before they would issue her a check. She couldn't really blame them. After more than five years of an account balance that struggled to stay above zero, a deposit of hundreds of thousands of dollars looked more than a little odd.

As she drove back to Charlie's house, Bella's mind wandered to the question Reneé had asked about David's birthday. Bella knew she wanted to do something to remember her son, but she wasn't sure what. It was looking increasingly certain that she would still be in Forks on that day. While she'd made a lot of progress with the house, there was still some work to be done to get it ready to show. She needed to deal with Charlie's cars, too. She guessed that, with a little luck, she might manage to go back to Seattle in about two weeks.

Thinking about Charlie's cars reminded her of Jasper's offer to have Rosalie come by to look at the cars. Since parting ways with Edward, the thought of contacting the Cullens again unnerved her. She wasn't sure what he'd told them about the situation, and she wasn't sure how she could spend time around them without coming into contact with Edward, something she definitely wanted to avoid. She would have to see them, or at least Jasper, eventually, though. Jasper had warned her that there would be more papers to sign in the coming weeks.

One thing at a time, she thought.

Bella parked the car in Charlie's driveway and hurried to the door. The temperature had dropped in the last few days, and the wind cut through her heavy jacket almost as if it weren't there. She wouldn't be surprised if they saw snow before Thanksgiving. That wasn't typical for this part of Washington, but it wasn't unheard of either. Just another reason to get out of Charlie's drafty old place and back to her much newer apartment building in the city, where the thermostat, rather than the weather report, determined how chilly she was indoors.

As she turned the key in the lock, she felt a sudden tap on her shoulder and gave a little yelp of surprise. She turned and saw Alice Cullen standing just behind her.

"Oh my god, Alice," Bella said, catching her breath. "You almost scared me to death. Where did you come from?"

"Sorry," Alice said. "You must not have heard me coming up."

"I definitely did not." Bella looked around. "Where's your car?"

"I wanted to walk a bit. Jasper's waiting for me in town."

"In this weather?" Bella said. "And where's your coat? You're going to freeze to death."

Alice was wearing a black, short-sleeved shirtdress with red knee-high boots and bunches of silver bracelets on both wrists, but no coat. She shrugged.

"I guess I forgot it. I'm okay. Exercise keeps you warm, right?"

Bella looked at her hard. The wind blew a sudden gust, making their hair and clothes whip wildly against them. To Bella, something in the moment felt unreal, as if she might be dreaming it.

"Do you want to come in?" Bella asked, hoping her voice didn't give away how much she did not want the other woman to accept the invitation.

Alice shook her head.

"No, I actually need to get back. But I wanted to give you this." She held out a slim, hardcover book. It took a moment for Bella to realize what it was.

"Is this… a yearbook?"

"Yeah, from our senior year," Alice said. "I thought you might like to have it."

Bella opened the cover. When she saw the messages written inside, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Alice, these are addressed to me. This is my yearbook. I thought I lost this, years ago. Where did you get this?"

Instead of answering, Alice asked, "Do you remember when you lost it?"

Bella tried to think. "It was after graduation. I… I think I brought it to a party. Maybe that bonfire we had up at La Push? No, it was at Jessica Stanley's house, I think. I brought it to get signed, and it disappeared. I looked for it for weeks!" She flipped through the pages, looking at the photos and notes inside. Alice leaned over her shoulder and looked with her.

"Isn't it funny, Bella? Some things have changed so much, and some, not at all."

Bella looked at her. That queer, unearthly feeling in her stomach was back.

"Alice, really. How long have you had this?"

"I just found it," she said. "Do you remember anything else about that party?"

"Not really, I mean, it was just normal teenage stuff. We were being stupid, drinking more than we ought to, that sort of thing. Jacob and I had a fight, I think? No, we'd just made up. I remember now, because he was going to drive home, but that was the night my truck broke down for good."

"Mmm hmm," Alice said. "Did you ever find out what was wrong with it?"

"Broken piston," Bella said. "Several, in fact. It was the weirdest thing. Billy and Charlie couldn't figure out how that happened, since we'd gotten to the party just fine in it."

"And you got home just fine, too, right?"

"Yeah. We didn't drive, which, looking back now, was probably a good thing. We crashed at Jessica's, and Charlie came and got us in the morning. He was furious, you know, because Jacob had stayed the night with me." Bella closed the book and turned to Alice, backing up a half step as she did. "What's this all about, Alice? I don't understand."

Alice looked at her seriously.

"There's something you should know about the Cullens, Bella. When we make promises to each other, we take it really seriously. It's absolutely necessary that we can always trust each other."

"You mean, because you all were foster kids?"

"That's part of it, sort of," Alice said. "It's just how our family works, what it needs to work. Anyway, I made a promise to Edward. I told him I would stay out of things with you and him, and, honestly, I've really tried. And he made a promise to me in return, and it's really important, so I can't break mine, not if I want him to keep his. But…" She shook her head, frowning. "Things aren't going the way I thought they would."

Bella sighed. "Alice, I don't know what Edward told you about us—"

"He didn't tell me anything," Alice said. "He didn't have to. I know my brother."

"There's nothing going on," Bella said. "Nothing is going to happen. We spent a little time together, but… it's not going farther than that."

"Because he made it weird, right?" Alice said.

"Well… yeah," Bella said. Sort of like how you're making it weird right now, she added silently.

"Nothing's happening how I thought it would," Alice muttered under her breath.

"Alice, what do you want?" Bella asked. She didn't want to be rude, but this was getting more than a little unsettling.

Alice put a hand on Bella's arm. Bella shivered.

"I want to tell you the things he won't. All of it. Just lay it out for you and let you decide," Alice said. "But I can't do that. I promised. And I only promised that because I thought you were going to remember on your own, but then…" She made a little impatient noise. "I never knew my mother, you know. I think that's why mom stuff always catches me off guard. I just don't see it coming."

"Alice, I don't—"

"Edward isn't what you think," Alice said. "And I think that, on some level, you already know that. The rest of it… You already know that, too. You just haven't realized you do."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bella said, but something in Alice's words pulled at her.

Alice shrugged.

"Maybe not. But I had to try. Your house is going to sell, so much faster than you think, and he's not even going to wait around that long. And this really is his last chance. I don't think I can live with this going wrong, Bella. Not again. And I know that Edward can't. I just hope he understands… I had to try."

Bella felt something akin to vertigo as she backed up another step and said nothing. She wished that Alice would go.

Why am I afraid to tell her to go? Bella wondered.

Alice cocked her head. "I'm not going to hurt you, Bella. I'm sure of that much."

"I know," Bella said in a shaking voice. "I'm fine."

"I'm gonna go now," Alice said. "I won't bother you again. But I hope you'll call me, or come to the house to see me. I hope you'll have some questions to ask me soon. And if you ask, Bella, I will answer you with the truth. Promise or not."

Alice turned and walked through the yard and up the street away from Charlie's house. She didn't look back, and she didn't shiver, not even when slushy pellets of sleet began to fall against her bare arms.