Bella spent the night wrapped in Edward's arms. When she'd become too tired to sit up any longer, he'd laid her down and stretched out beside her. He gathered her close, making her forget her pain as sleep claimed her. The night nurse had raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips when she'd found Dr. Cullen's strange son in bed with her patient, but she'd said nothing, just worked around Edward as she'd cared for Bella. Being the doctor's son did have some privileges.
Bella was unconcerned with the nurse's disapproval. Her need for Edward was simple, and it was not open to debate. Perhaps she'd be able to release him for an entire night's sleep at some point in the future, once she'd better gotten her fill of his body against hers. And perhaps he'd be able to let go of her when she was stronger, less fragile. Maybe in a few years, when the feel of her skin and the scent of her hair seemed less of a miracle.
Maybe.
Bella expected that Carlisle would react with smugness when he learned of her decision to join with Edward. She was surprised then, when he looked distressed, almost pained, to find them together. He drew in a breath and waited silently for the nurse to finish her morning business with Bella and leave the room. Edward gently untangled his limbs from Bella's and helped her sit up in the bed. She smiled at him from under a curtain of unruly dark hair. It always dried this way when she slept on it wet.
Edward helped her smooth back her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. His fingertips lingered at her neck for a moment, sending delicious goosebumps running across her flesh.
Carlisle looked hard at Edward, a question in his eyes.
"Whoa, wait. Stop that," Bella said, holding up her hand.
"Stop what?" Carlisle asked, confused.
"Out loud, please," she explained. "I'm in the room, and it's rude to exclude me from the conversation." Her confidence faltered for a moment when she met Carlisle's ancient eyes, but she held fast. "I'm afraid I must insist."
Edward cleared his throat, not quite covering a laugh. Carlisle just stared at her.
"Yes, this is what you've got ahead of you for the rest of your existence," Edward said. "Be careful what you wish for, father."
Carlisle's eyes shot back to Edward. Joy flashed briefly on his face and was quickly hidden behind a mask of caution.
"Does she understand? Does she mean it?" Carlisle asked. He turned to Bella without waiting for an answer. "Bella, child, you must know. Vampires don't have… girlfriends. We don't date. When one decides upon a mate-"
"Carlisle, I get it." Bella said. He looked surprised again, and she realized that Carlisle Cullen wasn't used to being interrupted while speaking. She filed the information away and went on. "I'm not going to pretend that I fully understand what's going on, or why I feel this way so soon… But I do. And- and I'm not a child. I've been a wife. I've been a mother. And I thought I'd been in love before. This… It's different. I know it's different." She shook her head. She wasn't saying it right. How could she make them understand the way she clicked into place in the universe when Edward touched her?
It was the unknowable becoming known. It was being proven wrong in the best way. After a lifetime of grasping after longshots, it was a sure thing. How do you tell someone that so they'll believe you?
Carlisle grabbed a stool and pulled it close to the bed. He took her left hand in his. She shivered at the chill of his skin, so like Edwards, yet so different. His expression softened as he moved closer to her, and she realized that he was afraid.
"Bella, please don't mistake my caution for unwelcome. I want this as much as Edward does. More, if such a thing were possible. It's peace for my son, and for my family. But I'm afraid for him, too. Losing you… Can you understand what that would do to him?"
"Yes." Of course she knew that, because it was just the same for her. "It would destroy him."
Just the same.
"He told you this," Carlisle said, nodding in grave approval.
"No, Carlisle. He didn't have to."
Carlisle exchanged a look with Edward. There was hope in that look, and a question.
Edward's smile faltered.
"No, and it doesn't matter," Edward said.
"It will," Carlisle said.
"Uh-uh. Stop it," Bella said. "I mean it, guys. Super powers are no excuse for rudeness."
Edward didn't try to disguise his laugh this time. Carlisle shook his head, but the corner of his mouth twitched. The fear was still there, but it had grown small.
"In six months, I'm going to be asking myself why exactly we spent so much time searching for you, aren't I, girl?" he asked. His voice was still hard, but he was smiling, and something about his voice made Bella remind herself to ask Edward later if Vampires could cry.
Edward laid a hand on his father's shoulder.
"Enough questions, Carlisle. She understands. She's made her choice."
Carlisle drew a deep breath and nodded. He glanced at Edward, who paused, and nodded. Carlisle reached into the pocket of his jacket and took out a small black box. Bella's curiosity made her forget to chide them for their silent communication.
"Are you going to propose to me, Carlisle?" She laughed nervously.
"Don't be absurd," he said. "Marriage is a human device. It doesn't translate well for vampires. Family, on the other hand…"
He opened the box, revealing a signet ring. A design was worked into the metal. Twining leaves, or perhaps thorns. They suggested the shape of a "C."
Bella's eyes widened, and she looked at Edward.
"Bella, this has belonged to you since you were seventeen," Edward said. "We've only been waiting until you were ready to accept it from us. When you wear this ring, all who know of our kind will know that you walk under our protection. They will know that you have our love."
Carlisle began to reach for Bella's paralyzed right hand where it lay limp on the bedsheets beside her. He stopped and instead took her left hand in his. After a moment of hesitation, he slid the ring onto her middle finger. It fit perfectly.
"Bella, I welcome you with love to our family. My name, my goods, my strength - they now belong to you, as they do to all my children and to my mate." His words held the weight of a vow.
She lifted her hand and held it up before her.
He wanted her to be one of them, but she wasn't one of them. She was mortal. She was crippled. She was weak and slow and uncertain. She was nothing like them. Her first impulse was to apologize for how little she had to bring them, but she silenced the urge. It was an echo, meaningless and distant, a scrap of a life she was no longer living. Nonetheless, she needed to know-
"Why do you want me, Carlisle? Is it only so Edward won't be alone?"
The calm smile he wore gave way to something sadder. Pity, or perhaps regret.
"Oh, child, no. I wish I could tell you so that you'd understand… Perhaps in a decade..." He stopped and started again, speaking as though he were teaching a lesson to a child. "Bella, for all the good things this life gives us, there are things we nonetheless miss. Companionship is by far our greatest lack. It's so difficult to trust those of our kind enough to truly know them, let alone care for them. When we do find a friend, we rejoice. And when we find family, someone whom we can love…" He paused, searching for words. "My dear girl, we've watched you for a decade, knowing- hoping you'd join us one day. And, even before we knew who you were, we knew that our family was missing one of its own." He leaned forward and cupped her cheek in his hand. "Bella, why I want you is very simple: I want my family to be whole. I want my daughter to come home."
Her eye welled with tears, and she struggled to blink them back. She wanted to sob, to scream, to come apart, but she couldn't allow it, not now, when he was regarding her so seriously. Her hands shook as she wiped her eyes. Carlisle waited, unbothered, as she regained composure. She drew a deep breath and met his eyes.
"Okay," she said. "I'm in. And… thank you."
Carlisle laid his right hand over her left, and she saw that he wore a ring. It didn't shine like hers; the crest was barely recognizable. But she knew it was the same.
"You'll never know the gratitude I have for you," he said. "You've given me back more than my son. You've given me back my own faith. There's yet mercy in this world. I see that now."
His praise made her uneasy. She coughed and glanced away. "I'm glad, Carlisle. I really am. But, hey. I mean it about the telepathy. I'll make you put money in a jar until you break the habit if I need to."
Carlisle chuckled. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Very well, Bella. I accept your terms."
He rose and stepped back so that Edward could move closer. Edward's smile was exultant as he pulled her in for a kiss.
When he'd released her, she reached for his hands. She found that Edward wore no rings.
"Don't you get one?" she asked.
"It's in my pocket. I didn't want to bruise your hand when I was holding it." He reached into his jeans and took out a ring, identical to hers except for the color of the metal. The silver of his had darkened considerably with age, and the detail of the design on his had worn smooth in a few places.
She looked at his ring beside hers, and something surged within her chest. Edward saw her face and gave her a quizzical look.
"It's nothing," she said, shaking her head. "I'm just… proud, I guess."
"I know the feeling exactly," Edward said.
Carlisle smiled at them and cleared his throat.
"I'm afraid there's something else we need to discuss, Edward. The wolves are asking for permission to visit her."
Edward's head snapped around.
"Absolutely not."
"What?" Bella said. "Of course they can visit me."
"Bella, be reasonable," Edward said.
"Why wouldn't they be allowed to visit me? Do you guys own the hospital or something?"
"No, Forks Community is neutral territory," Carlisle said, ignoring her sarcasm. "But they understand the sensitive nature of our situation. Attacking a vampire's mate is an act of war."
"He didn't attack me, though. It was an accident."
"Yes, and I'm unwilling to risk another," Edward said. "Truly, we've been quite generous to them. I'm not going to kill Jacob Black, but I'll be damned if I ever allow him near you again."
"Edward-"
Carlisle held up his hands. "A moment, please. The elders understand our reluctance to admit the wolves, so they've offered a compromise. They want to send Sue Clearwater and Malina Hudson. They're not wolf warriors. But we must guarantee their safety if we allow them to come."
There was a long moment of tense silence as Edward considered Carlisle's proposal.
"We can't put them off forever, Edward," Carlisle said. "They've sent three missives already."
Bella just stared at the men.
"You are not seriously asking Edward's permission for my friends to visit me."
"Bella-" Carlisle began.
"No," she said. "This is not acceptable. Of course they're allowed to visit me." She paused. "Is this why they haven't come before now? Because you wouldn't let them?"
Carlisle looked at Edward and didn't answer. Edward had released Bella's hands, and his fists were clenched in his lap. He forced them to relax, spreading his fingers against his knees, as he spoke.
"Bella, I nearly lost you. I nearly lost you."
Despite herself, Bella felt her anger dissipate. She sighed as she reached for his hand.
"You didn't. You didn't lose me."
His eyes begged for her understanding.
"Edward… You've got to understand. They're my family, too."
Carlisle and Edward exchanged a look. Carlisle raised an eyebrow. The silence dragged on, and Bella cleared her throat pointedly.
"All right," Edward said. "They can come. Just the women, no wolves." Bella started to protest, but he went on. "Not yet, okay? We can discuss this further, but not just yet. Not when you're still-" His eyes traveled over her body. "Please, Bella."
She sighed.
"Okay." She turned to Carlisle. "When?"
"I'll call Sam in a few minutes. I imagine they won't waste much time getting over here once that happens. They've been quite… insistent."
She frowned.
"All right," she said.
Carlisle wasn't wrong. Bella barely managed to visit the bathroom and brush her teeth and hair before Sue knocked on the door to the room.
"Come in," Bella said. Edward stood stiffly beside the bed.
Sue opened the door. Her careful smile disappeared when she saw Bella. Malina was just behind her. She looked upset, too, but covered it quickly.
"Hey, lady," Malina said, moving past Sue and entering the room. She was carrying flowers. She looked around for a space to set them down, but most of the room's surfaces were already crowded with bouquets and arrangements from the Cullens. "Looks like some folks beat me to it." Her laugh was tight. She didn't look at Edward.
"Yeah," Bella said. "Here, just put them on the counter."
Sue shook off enough of her shock to come into the room. She bent to embrace Bella, barely touching her.
"I- I don't want to hurt you," Sue said. "They wouldn't give me any information about how you were doing, or how bad it was-"
Edward spoke then, his voice hard.
"She needed two hundred and seventy-six stitches to close the wounds. She suffered a concussion. Her spleen was ruptured, and she nearly bled to death. She needed surgery. She was transfused with five units of blood. The human body contains about ten units, you know. For a small person like Bella, rather less. She lost more than half of her blood. And her arm-"
"Edward!" Bella hissed, glaring at him.
Malina stood in the corner of the room, tears streaming down her cheeks. The color had drained from Sue's face. She dragged her eyes from Edward to Bella, focusing on Bella's unmoving right arm.
"What about her arm, Edward?"
Edward pressed his lips together and didn't answer. He glanced at Bella.
"Sue," she began. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to-"
"Bella, just tell me," Sue said, her voice quivering. "Why do you think I'm here? I need to know. We all need to know how bad it was."
There was a long moment of silence in the room before Bella answered.
"There… was nerve damage. It doesn't work anymore." She looked away from them, her gaze fixed on the sea of flowers covering her window ledge. She tried to make her voice bright. "But, you know, I'm getting with good therapists. And there's this thing that they're going to put in my car so I can drive again and-"
"He's gonna lose it," Malina said, sinking into a chair near the window. "He's gonna absolutely lose it."
Sue didn't answer, but a tear leaked down her cheek. She sat down on the stool Carlisle had left vacant.
"Please don't do that," Bella said. Her expression turned hard. "It is what it is, okay? It's fucked up. But so was Jacob getting cursed with this wolf thing in the first place. And so was David's heart growing wrong. And so was Charlie dying. So I'm just gonna have to deal, and Jacob will, too."
"Oh, Bella," Sue whispered. "I'm so sorry. We are all so, so sorry."
"I'm not mad," Bella said. "I mean, not at you. And not at Jacob. I wish… But I'm not mad at anyone. What good would that do?" She brushed away a tear.
Sue reached for Bella's hand. As she did, she noticed Bella's ring. Sue's hand stilled and drew back. She raised her eyes to Edward.
"May we speak with her alone, blood drinker?"
"His name is Edward," Bella said, but, of course, Sue knew that. The older woman ignored her.
Edward paused, listening. He nodded. As he moved toward the door, he first met Malina's eyes, then Sue's. In his stare, Bella saw his true age clearly for the first time.
"If you try to remove her from this place against her will, I will end your life," he said. His voice was quiet, precise. "She is free to go and always will be. But if you take her away from me by force…" He gave a little shrug and left the sentence unfinished as he shut the door behind him.
The silence in the room was thick with fear.
"Nice fella you got there, Bells," Malina said at last.
"Be careful," Sue said in a whisper. "He probably didn't go far. They have really good hearing. He can probably still hear you."
If only you knew, Bella thought, wondering about physical range of Edward's telepathy. Could he hear their thoughts from the hallway? The parking lot? The next state over? She reminded herself to ask him about it later.
"It's okay," Bella said. "Really. He's not going to hurt you. He's just freaked out since my accident. Everyone's being careful."
"You're so sure you know him," Sue said. "And already, you're wearing their crest. Do you even understand what that means?"
"I think I do, yes."
"You've only known them for a couple of weeks."
"I love him. I just… I love him. I've never felt this way before, Sue. Not ever."
"Shit, Bella," Malina said. "That's not love, that's Percocet."
Sue shook her head. "Bella, I know that you've been lonely. But, these creatures-"
"Sue, honestly, I get that you're worried. And I get why. But don't insult me, and don't insult them. I didn't choose him out of loneliness. I wouldn't join a family just because I'm sad."
"I didn't mean any insult. But I am worried for you. How much do you know about them? Their history? The things they've done?"
Bella hesitated. "I… I know that Edward will tell me, if I ask him. I haven't yet."
"But will the answer matter to you?" Malina asked. There was an edge to her voice that surprised Bella. "I don't know everything about those, those things, but my understanding is that accepting a mate is a permanent situation for their kind. You're bound to him now, Bella." She ran a hand through her hair and looked away. "I mean, god. Do you even care how many people he's killed?"
"They don't drink human blood," Bella said, but Carlisle's words echoed in her mind – It's not mine to tell.
"Ask him," Malina said. "Then ask yourself if this is still what you want."
Bella tried to ignore the terror she felt at the idea of something, anything stealing the wholeness she'd found in choosing Edward. Her deepest self curled protectively around her belief in the rightness of her love for him. She needed it; didn't they realize that? Anger quickly followed fear.
"Jacob could have killed me. Would you two still have loved him if he had?"
"You know that's not the same thing," Sue said. "Jacob didn't choose to do this to you. And he suffers for it, Bella. I can't even tell you how he suffers."
"Edward's never hurt me. Never. And… and if he has done bad things, maybe he suffers for them, too. And maybe it's hard for me to hear warnings about the danger of vampires a week after a wolf tore me apart."
Sue winced at Bella's words.
"We only love you, Bella."
"Then respect my choice," she shot back. "You don't need to understand it. Believe me, I know all about not getting to understand stuff. You can hate it, but you still have to deal with it. You don't always get a choice, Sue."
Sue was quiet for a moment before she answered.
"I never hate you, Bella. Please remember that. No matter what. Not even if…" Her voice shifted from tender to fierce. "And if you ever need help, if you ever want to leave, you call me, okay? You call me. They can try to do anything they want to me, but I will get you out. Understand?"
Bella sighed. "It's really not like that."
"Just tell me you understand. Tell me you'll call if you need help."
"Okay, Sue. I understand. And if I need you, I'll call."
Sue nodded.
"So, hey," Sue said, forcing some brightness into her tone. "What's the plan from here? Renée gonna drag you down to Florida? Where is she, anyways? Back at the hotel?"
"I, um…"
Sue's flimsy smile fell apart. "Bella, tell me that you called her."
"I'm just not ready for that, Sue. You know she'll come here, and then what? Everything's happened so fast. I… I hardly know what's going on, let alone what to tell my mother about it."
"She's your mother. She should have been called! What if you'd-"
"I didn't, okay? And, hey, it's worth mentioning that I probably would have if Carlisle Cullen hadn't taken care of me."
"Yes," Sue said. "And he knows that he has the tribe's gratitude, even if he did do it for his own ends."
"What does that mean?"
"Bella, if anyone in the tribe understands Carlisle Cullen, it's me. Remember, I'm the mother of an imprinted wolf. I would have done anything to help Leah when she was in that state. He knew there'd be no coming back for Edward if you didn't survive."
"But that's not all that Malina is to you, is she?" Bella asked.
"Of course not," Sue said. "She's like my daughter now. She knows that." She exchanged a smile with Malina from across the room before turning back Bella.
"You always have a home with me," Sue said. "You know that, don't you? I know that you have a mom of your own, but you're honestly like a daughter to me, Bella. Charlie would have wanted me to take care of you, and I'd like to. I really would."
"We mean it, Bella," Malina added. "That's actually what we came here to talk to you about before-" She broke off and started again. "I know it's a little crowded and a little crazy in the house with me and Leah and Seth – you know, when he's home from school – but we do all right. You'd be so welcome. I think it'd actually be pretty fun, all the misfit Forks girls under one roof." She laughed. "Plus, you know. You could take some time, have some space to decide about the rest of it. Without so much pressure."
Bella smiled sadly. "It does sound like it would be fun. But I don't think it would work. I just… I need-" She stopped. "And, well, I don't even know when I'm being released. Carlisle said it could be a while."
The door to the room opened suddenly.
"Knock knock!" It was the day shift nurse, an older woman with frosted blonde hair that was perpetually held back in a tight French braid. She had an accent from someplace in the South, but Bella had never cared to ask her where. She was easily Bella's least favorite nurse on the ward, always cheerful but rarely nice. She had an annoying habit of barging into the room without knocking, and she called Edward 'young man.'
She looked around the room now, surprised to find Bella with visitors other than Edward.
"Well, hello there," she said, glancing at Sue and Malina. She turned back to Bella, moving her blankets and lifting her gown to check her stitches without asking permission. "How's your pain this morning, honey? Scale of one to ten?" She pressed her gloved fingers lightly against Bella's abdomen, making her wince.
"Um, five, maybe six?" Bella said, catching her breath. She saw Malina out of the corner of her eye. Malina was standing now, her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. She'd seen Bella's wounds.
"Alright, that's fine. Want some Percocet then?" The nurse pulled off her gloves and started washing her hands at the sink.
"No, not right now," Bella said. Edward would return soon. It would hurt less then.
"Tylenol?"
"Sure, okay."
The nurse stayed and asked a few more questions, forcing Bella to discuss bodily functions in front of Sue and Malina that she'd just as soon have kept to herself. Bella was relieved when the nurse finally made to leave her alone with the other women.
"Oh, I almost forgot," the nurse said, turning back from the door. "We need to start discharge teaching. Dr. Cullen says you're going to get out of here the day after tomorrow."
"Really? I thought I had another week."
"Yeah, me too, but he said the only holdup was a home care plan, and that you'd gotten that figured out. Is that right? You have someone at home to help look after you while you recover?"
Bella glanced at Sue uneasily as she answered.
"Yeah, I do."
"Well, that's great," the nurse said. "I'll be back in a few with your meds, and we'll start going over the instructions, then. Your care provider should be here for that, too. Is that you, ma'am?" She smiled warmly at Sue.
"No, that's me," Edward said from the doorway.
"Is that so?" The nurse pursed her lips. Edward met her gaze and didn't speak. "Are you really prepared to take this on, young man? I find it hard to believe that Dr. Cullen-"
"I'm quite prepared to help her in any way she needs. And if you're concerned, I suggest that you speak to my father yourself…" He glanced at her name tag. "…Vivian."
"Your father," she repeated. Edward nodded. "Alright, then." She turned to Bella. "I'll be back soon. Might want to have some of your guests clear out before it's time to start the teaching. Want to make sure your young man really understands what he's getting into. You know it's not gonna be all fun and games anymore now that your girlfriend's handicapped."
Bella flinched, and Edward fixed the nurse with a killing stare. Sue and Malina saw his face and shrunk back. Sue's lips moved in silent prayer.
Vivian the nurse seemed oblivious to Edward's rage and her own peril as she made a show of stepping past him and out of the room, one eyebrow raised imperiously. He stared after her, not moving, not breathing. He stood still for a long moment before he drew in a long breath and released it.
"I usually have to listen to someone's thoughts in order to dislike them this much," he said. "She actually says most of the awful things she thinks."
Sue shot Malina a look of confused alarm. Bella noticed and grimaced sympathetically.
"Yeah, you should probably know. He can hear your thoughts. Not mine, though, thank god."
"They can all do that?" Sue asked under her breath.
"No, just me," Edward said coolly. He paused, listening. "And I don't know why. And I don't care if you believe me. And it's unfortunate Charlie disliked me. I liked him a great deal." He turned back to the bed. "You look tired, Bella. Would you like to rest now?" He moved closer and helped rearrange her pillows so she could recline more.
"We should probably get going," Malina said, edging toward the door.
Sue nodded reluctantly. She bent to embrace Bella, coming closer to Edward as she did. Her fear showed in her face, but she met his eyes defiantly as she stood.
He laid a hand on Bella's head and began to stroke her hair.
"We'll come visit you again, sweetie," Sue said. "You let me know if I can bring you something from home, or if you need anything else."
"Bella has everything she needs," Edward said.
"Thank you, Sue," Bella said. "Hug Leah for me. And thank her. I owe her my life, too, you know."
Sue smiled tightly and nodded. A flicker of pain passed over her features, and Bella knew she was remembering that night in the clearing, the blood…
"Enough," Edward said under his breath, his eyes closed tightly against whatever he saw in Sue's mind.
"It's okay. I'm okay," Bella said, stroking his cheek. Something new occurred to her, and she called out to Sue. "Hey, wait. You guys can't tell Leah – or any of the wolves – what I look like, okay? My injuries, the stitches and stuff, I mean. If you tell her, then she'll know, and then Jacob…"
"Yeah, then he'll know it too. And that wouldn't be a good thing just now." Sue nodded. "We'll just keep things vague, okay?"
"Thanks," Bella said with relief.
"You're a good girl, Bella," Sue said. "A sweet girl. You deserve good things." She looked hard at Edward. Satisfaction showed on her face when he looked away first.
Her gaze drifted to the flowers on the window ledge, and her expression darkened. "Who sent the lilies, Bella?"
"Um, they're from Alice. Pretty, right?"
"There's a language to flowers. Different kinds mean different things. Did you know that?"
"Yeah, sure." Bella glanced at the large vase of red roses that rested beside the lilies. Those were from Edward.
"Do you know what lilies mean?"
"I don't know… Purity or something?"
"Almost. They mean purity or innocence restored through death. They're funeral flowers, Bella. Can you think of why Mary Alice Cullen would choose those for you?"
A chill shot through Bella. She looked at Edward, but he didn't meet her eyes.
"They're just flowers," she said. The words felt flimsy.
Sue didn't answer. She moved toward the door. "You call me when you get out of here, honey. I'll bring you some meals, take you shopping, whatever you need."
"All right, Sue. Thank you. And thanks for coming to see me."
Edward pulled Bella's blankets over her, and she smiled at him gratefully. Sue watched them from the doorway.
"We're your family, Bella," she said. "We love you. And we'll always come for you."