Chapter Two

"Please don't leave," insists Zuko and Ty Lee jumps and flinches in fright. His voice came from the shadows, startling the girl quietly tiptoeing through the shadow streaked halls of the Fire Nation Royal Palace.

The sun is not even up yet, and she is trying to sneak out as quietly as she can. It reminds her of certain times she has snuck out of the palace before sunrise, which only makes her stomach twist further and more furiously.

"I already stayed longer than I should have," Ty Lee says quietly, her voice hoarse. She does not know why she opted to stay behind anyway; it is not as if any progress was really going to be made.

"Have some tea... stay for a few more hours. Please. There aren't even any ships leaving until well after sunrise," Zuko says and Ty Lee examines him. It strikes her only then that he does not want to be alone, and his friends are long gone.

"I'll have some tea," Ty Lee agrees without hesitation. She always liked Zuko, ever since she was a kid. There isn't anyone Ty Lee dislikes, actually, even those who have hurt her. But there is no doubt in her mind she likes Zuko enough to at least have tea with him before escaping.

"Thank you," Zuko says honestly as he stands and walks towards the kitchens with Ty Lee.

They are expansive, spotlessly clean and currently deserted. Ty Lee wonders how lonely the palace must get when Zuko is not occupied with the multitude of issues that have arisen since the end of the One Hundred Year War. Ty Lee fights her urge to pity him, and watches him start making a pot of tea.

He is evidently making chamomile. Ty Lee thinks it will probably serve calming her nerves and stomach fairly well, so long as it does not make her fall asleep. She was, in her days at the circus, notorious for drinking sleepy time tea in the morning, which she credited to helping loosen her limbs and improve her performance.

"Why are you running?" Zuko asks uncomfortably, having the sudden revelation that he has never really talked to Ty Lee. He has written her off for a long time in his life as Azula's lackey, but clearly she is not just that. Clearly she was never just that.

"Why would I stay?" Ty Lee replies quietly as Zuko starts pouring the tea he made. It went fast; she wonders if Iroh taught him how to do it so efficiently. "There's nothing keeping me here at all. My family isn't worth sticking around for, and, oh... I..."

"It's fine," Zuko says, waving his hand as she exhales guiltily.

"I didn't mean to make it sound like you weren't worth..." Ty Lee grimaces and looks at her tea.

The cup is gorgeous, streaked with intricate gold designs against the warm white porcelain. Inside, the steaming tea is a very light yellow, with perhaps a touch of green ─ or maybe that is just the light ─ and it smells strongly of panicked nights, sore throats and days gone by.

Days long gone by.

She thinks about her childhood, and how she thought she would have come so much further from where she is right now. About the people she loves that she decided it would be more convenient for her to abandon. It hurts a bit to think about. More than a bit, actually.

"I know what you meant," Zuko says and Ty Lee just continues staring at her tea.

She does not remember why, or how, or when or where she exactly lost her way.

###

Azula wakes up coughing, her entire slim body convulsing from the force of her own lungs. Either blood or thick saliva combined with dark mud comes out and drips onto the back of her hand. She suddenly realizes she is no longer in the Spirit World; or at least it seems, and at least she hopes.

She suddenly recognizes where she is. This is the road leading towards the mountains in which there are a variety of resorts. She and Mai went to one together with... Ty Lee...

Azula shakes away that thought, knowing she cannot let herself slip up. The trial was terrifying, and, strangely enough, amongst the insane hallucinations was where Azula had her moment of clarity. There is more to life than letting herself waste away in an asylum or letting herself be turned into her brother's pet or charity case.

The princess is not sure what exactly, but she is going to find out. She did not live through that nightmare for nothing. And so she slowly stands up, struggling to figure out her limbs again. Her body still feels strange and sore, as if she has just been locked in an inescapable box for hours.

She might as well have been locked in an inescapable box for hours, Azula supposes. As soon as she can manage, Azula starts walking, crossing the muddy, slippery roads with gravel crunching beneath her feet. Her skin is already glistening with sweat, but she cannot bring herself to care.

Something inside of her is propelling her to keep going, to make it to those mountains if it is the last thing she does. And it might be the last thing she does with her strong nausea and the unshakable, irremovable taste of blood in her aching mouth.

All she does is keep walking.

And keep walking.

Keep walking.

Walking.

###

Azula hits the ground somewhere in the middle of nowhere long into her journey.

No one has even come by; not a single cart or rider or even stray pedestrian. She imagines it is because the isolation of this location. The farmland is distant, the small towns in the opposite direction. All there is around here is a long stretch of dirt roads and patches of trees leading to volcanic spas and other resorts for the wealthy.

She does not know why she thought she would find someone to help her. Or why anyone would want to help her. Or for that matter, why the Universe even cares about doing anything except making her life as utterly miserable and impossible as it can manage.

So, when she falls, she just lets herself fall. She coughs again, for the thousandth time, this time only saliva voiding from her mouth, and not the same blood and dirt she has been wiping all over her clothes. It sticks to her chin and she does not have the energy to wipe it away as her chest heaves and she stares at the setting sun.

Honestly, it seems kind of like the world is conspiring to kill her at this point. She survives an insane hallucination. . . or perhaps a deadly and terrifying reality, in the Spirit World, makes it out, and then finds herself dying in the wilderness for the second time.

While there seem to be no second chances for Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, there seems to be an incessant string of punches to the gut. Born lucky. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Azula turns to look over her shoulder, wondering if she should give up now or not. She cannot see anything nearby, not a single sign of the civilization she is trying to reach. This is such a joke. She passes their dumb test and then she wakes and is going to die and. . .

And Azula does not want to die anymore.

She wants out of this. She wants to survive this if she has to claw, cling and drag herself up this mountain with only her fingernails and bloody, chafed knees.

"I don't even..." she mutters to herself, looking around and then sighing and giving up. "I don't know..."

And then Azula sees another dragon. Agni, she wishes her subconscious was slightly more inventive. Dragons, so boring. She would take literally anything over these ridiculous dragon hallucinations. . .

This one does not fade, even when Azula wills it to. But when has she had control over her head since she relinquished it so long ago?

It is bluish, but not at the same time. Eerie, and out of place, not as vivid as Azula's usual set of repetitive unwanted fantasies. This one is fully grown and does not seem to be attempting attack, and Azula can see how the marigold light of the sunset seems to make it shimmer, and to go through it.

And then she realizes that it is the same dragon that flew at her and she saw dying. Save, now it is in her world.

"What do you want?" Azula asks as the eerie spirit dragon just stares at her expectantly. "What?"

Azula lies there as it stares her down. And then she is hit by images definitely not of her own making, or so she thinks.

A dragon is talking to her through images of burning villages and this forest and. . .

Avatar Roku?

Fang gave Azula one image that stuck in her mind, as if it was supposed to be remembered or acted quickly upon. And Azula took note of it, as she made her way to the cave he showed her. Not that it would be remarkably easy to pick out a single cave in this gigantic waste of trees and hot springs.

But she climbs. And climbs. The spirit of a dragon stays with her, not leaving her side, and prompting her to continue with images of her past, of her pain, like fire beneath her feet to keep her moving. She feels tortured by her journey, but she does not stop for long.

And that pays off in the end, despite Azula's ragged and injured state.

Azula is at last at the cave. She has to pull herself up with her fingers bleeding from the small rocks that have dug into her skin. But she ignores the pain as she finally walks inside, feeling the cool, damp air pressing against her dry, hot skin. It feels like relief in more ways than one, and she feels refreshed after entering.

She turns back, searching for Fang, but he has left her yet again. That does not matter to Princess Azula, however, because she knows that no one is on her side anymore. Trusting anyone was a mistake altogether.

Clearing her throat and cracking her knuckles, Azula moves further into the cave. She has to light a fire in her palm once the sunlight pouring in through the entrance fades away, and Azula is left in the darkness. But the darkness is Azula's only friend; she likes it. She likes how it can consume her, yet, how she has the power to light it up, and expose the shadows for what they really are.

There aren't many scary things in the dark when you are the monster, after all.

Azula hears someone and ricochets to a stop, nearly falling over, down into the black shadows beneath her feet.

"Hello?" the princess rasps out, hoping it is not a hallucination. She truly wishes that she knew what was real or not in this world. Perhaps, the nagging thought remains, she is still trapped somewhere, waiting for real judgment and not that of cloaked spirits.

She waves the light around her, trying to get a decent look at the person. And her gaze rests on a formless shadow. More shadows; Azula is beginning to hate them.

"Are you sentient?" Azula asks as she pursues the shadow.

There is silence, in response. The shadow is in front of a crevice, one that is guarded by a stream of water that Azula can feel the heat radiating from. It is not the kind of river that even she would jump into.

"Hello? Some spirit dragon told me to come here," Azula says loudly to the shadow, and it does not stir. Until Azula shakes her head in frustration and turns to leave, then, it seems to change its mind.

"You must be the girl they talked about. The lost princess."

"I'm not lost. I've just been locked up a few times," Azula snaps before realizing she will probably regret rudeness. But given her current physical and mental state, she is in no mood for anything other than a night's rest and some decent tea.

"Does my form disturb you?" asks the shadow and Azula shrugs. Yes. "Is this better?" And her shape is gone, replaced by Azula's mother.

That nearly sends the princess tumbling into the broiling hot geothermic river. "Not better! Of course not better!"

"This, then?" Father.

"No."

The shadow hesitates and transforms into an unknown person. An attractive woman, yes, but not one that Azula has ever met. The princess's heart does stop pounding.

"You're the girl they told me about. The one who I am supposed to train. The one who is supposed to be able to solve our problem." The young steps across the water, her feet landing with perfect timing on the stones that Azula did not even see through the steam.

She or it, or whatever creature Azula is dealing with, must have lived in this cave for a very long time. Azula, in her youth, would be very doubtful of this entire situation. But after what she saw in the quest for her mother, she is willing to believe in things she once would have called impossible.

"Who are you?" Azula asks as the woman waves for her to follow deeper into the cave.

"I've actually forgotten." The woman laughs too loudly and for too long. Then she coughs. "Regardless of who I am, it's what I have that's important."

Azula is about to ask what she has when her questioned is answered by a room opening up in front of her. At first it looks like just another stone box, but then she begins to realize that it is an eerie palace of sorts. If she is hallucinating this, someone ought to just lobotomize her and get this nonsense over with.

"What does this have to do with dragons?" Azula asks bluntly as she allows herself to be led up a spiraling staircase and to an elaborate bedroom that takes up the entire top floor. The bed is so tempting, as is everything here.

"I will tell you as soon as you bathe and sleep. You smell awful," says the unfamiliar woman and Azula shrugs. "The hot springs make for quite pleasant baths, so long as you avoid any eruptions."

She winks, with her strange, black eyes, and Azula starts to undress regardless of being stared at. The bath does feel magnificent. It reddens her skin as she sinks deeper into it, and can feel the fire flowing through her veins. She is one with the volcano.

Some people say that the volcanoes began firebending. Most people say that it was the dragons. Or perhaps the sun; the sun is the most commonly agreed upon interpretation, once dragons were proven to be able to be defeated.

Azula's mind naturally wanders as she fumbles through the assortment of handmade soaps. She has visions of the dragons of old and how they could destroy cities. How they seemed impervious to everyone. And how Sozin decided that they should all be killed.

She manages to remove herself from the water, even though she could stay for a thousand years. They tried to make her comfortable in the asylum; Zuko clearly asked them to treat her like royalty. But that just made it more patronizing, more sickening and undignified. He knows nothing of honor.

In fact, Fire Lord Zuko knows nothing.

Azula wraps herself in the robe left out for her on the bed, and falls asleep as soon as her head and back hit the soft, inviting mattress and pillows.

She wakes to something licking her leg. That makes her eyes widen in fear and shock, as she moves to whip it off of her, but she finds herself trapped. Sleep paralysis. Azula has lived through it a thousand times before, and she either imagined demons or her father. Which was worse, Azula still has no idea.

But what rises from her legs is a woman Azula knows in her heart that she never wants to see again. Never wants to see again, but there she is, half dressed and stunning, with her nimble fingers sliding up the hem of Azula's robe, stroking the inside of her thigh.

Azula cannot move, nor does she want to move. The progression is beautiful, enough to make Azula forget the acidic taste of betrayal, and how it is the only thing she can palate when she thinks about Ty Lee anymore. Then Azula is woken in shock when Ty Lee rises, looking up at Azula's melodic moans, and her eyes are pitch black.

Not real. Of course she was not real.

Azula wakes with her legs wrapped around one of the pillows, and she removes herself from her bed in shame. At least she feels rested for the first time in years...

"Fire Princess, are you ready to see your destiny?" asks the shadow, and Azula looks up to see that she is no longer the innocent stranger who she took the form of. She is Mai.

At least not Ty Lee. At least not Ty Lee after that dream...

Or, Azula realizes in horror, maybe, given the black eyes, it was not a dream at all.