Iroh gives a tentative welcome to Azula.
The observation that she looks like a corpse is not a new one, and it is a very true one. Iroh swallows uncomfortably, his throat tight. The shadows of the palace make her look even more eerie, and make the changes to her seem more supernatural and ghastly.
She is not that little girl. Far, far from it.
"It is wonderful to see you," he says kindly, but Azula does not believe him.
She can feel the ice cold chill from everyone around her. It is not quite hatred, as Azula feels for them, but they are disturbed by her. Perhaps her condition, perhaps her existence, perhaps the fact that they have to live with her and even acknowledge that she is, indeed, a person.
Or maybe that they have to acknowledge that she is far less of a person than she used to be. And that is not just because she is somehow not only alive, to the stunned whispers of the healers, but has something potentially alive within her, and because she is still crazy and if she breathes a word of why she knows she clawed herself out of that grave like she just fell firebending and scraped her knees they will have her locked up again.
Even after all they have seen, she knows. They probably are already debating when the appropriate time will be to send her back, and Azula feels more and more like the healers expected her to as days go by. Spirits are cruel and deserved what they got, whether they want her to be the hero of their war or not.
"... I took the liberty of making tea," Iroh says as Azula tunes back into the conversation.
"Of course you did," Azula whispers, and she looks up.
She glances around the room and tries to catch the gaze of the people who now have her fate in their hands. Ty Lee is still pretending that her hands and the ceiling are incredibly interesting, Zuko is looking very gravely in front of him, and Mai averts her eyes when caught staring. Iroh, however, either tactlessly or politely meets Azula's gaze.
Tea time, Azula supposes.
###
Zuko does not waste much time before listing all of the delightful rules and restrictions. Azula just stares into her tea and tries to keep from falling asleep and drowning in it.
Azula has barely sat down at the table in the sunny room with too many windows, when he already begins asserting his law. She does not care about it, not anymore, but the onlookers seem entertained.
"I want you to have a psychological exam, a physical one, uh, one about, uh, you know, that," Zuko says, counting on just one finger as if he has forgotten he is supposed to use multiple ones. "And you need to obviously be escorted everywhere by soldiers, at least one trusted member of the family or friend of the family. The Avatar will be here by tomorrow afternoon to help decide what we should do."
"Mmmhm." Azula still stares into the teacup.
He clearly expected more resistance.
"You have the appointments tomorrow. I don't have anything of intense importance, so I will take you personally." He rubs his neck. Zuko heard this so fiercely in his head, in the way he had to learn how to speak, thanks to father deciding that one kid learning was good enough. But she trips him up. "And then Aang, right?"
"I want to talk to Uncle alone," Azula says crisply and Zuko takes a deep breath through his dry mouth. "I have no idea why that concerns you. It isn't a very demanding request. I'll do your ridiculous appointments."
It concerns him because there is no reason for Azula to know about the Sun Warriors and the last dragons. While Iroh can fend for himself, and while Zuko trusts him, the Fire Lord is more than reluctant to take his eyes off of her. He did not trust Azula in the first place, but he trusts this resurrected version of her even less.
"Zuko, please," Iroh says and the Fire Lord rubs his eyes.
"Okay. Five minutes." That he says with conviction, not that his sister seems to care.
The others, who had been silently watching, slowly drift out of the room as Azula tries to remain as patient as possible. Azula looks away from her tea and licks her metallic flavored chapped lips. Iroh waits with his fingers clasped and set on the table.
"I have a headache and no time for pleasantries," Azula states and Iroh does not protest; he just continues to look at her. "I need to talk to you about Ran and Shaw, and something called a kuzet."
"You know what none of those things are," Iroh says placidly, with no derision or anger.
"You're smarter than Zuko," Azula says softly as she rolls her sore shoulders. "He told me about the last dragons when he fell for a trick most people can spot by age seven. But, no, I have no idea why I am supposed to talk to you about this."
"Yes, you do."
"Stop pretending to be a mind reader. No one is amused or impressed."
"I am not being a mind reader. I am saying the things that you do not want to say aloud so that you can express them to me and make this conversation take place in five minutes."
Azula clenches her jaw. "I had some Spirit World journey, and they put me on trial and I went to a place and learned things and fought things and was told about dragons and some spirit disagreement and then I was told to ask you about those things and I woke up dragging myself out of a mass grave in a town that had been attacked by spirits."
Iroh did not expect her to be so honest, or to say so much so quickly. And so he is blunt and honest as well. "I believe you."
"Figures." Azula shrugs. "Not that you've done much to help the spirits. I haven't either, to be honest."
He looks at her knowingly and she wants to burn his face off.
But before she can satiate that desire, her time is up far too quickly.
###
The psychological exam goes as well as expected. Azula is cold, detached and certainly does not have the best results, but it is enough to keep Zuko abetted for a little while longer. And Princess Azula needs only a little while longer.
"You participated in that," Zuko suggests and Azula turns away. "It was good. Thank you."
She gives him nothing.
###
It is the physical exam that interests Azula.
Zuko has the best of the best to look her over, and she pays careful attention to every motion. The healer's eyes often widen, his neck tenses frequently, and he altogether seems even more alarmed than the inexperienced healers.
"You are..." The healer licks his lower lip nervously. "You are mostly healthy. Of course, you need to regain some strength and the bruises on your skin are a little abnormal. The... pregnancy would not be abnormal if not for the circumstances."
That much is evident.
The circumstances are about as abnormal as it gets.
He tells she and Zuko a few things about her health, a few herbal concoctions that Azula does not care about. She looks at the bruises on her skin, touches the small bump near her hips that she tries to ignore. The answers are not here in Caldera, in this cold healer's office. They are wherever Ran and Shaw and kuzet are.
And Azula is going to get there if it kills her.
###
"You just looked at me," Azula says in mock surprise.
Ty Lee briefly glares. "I have been looking at you as much as I look at anybody else."
"Mhm. So are you bothered by the fact that I'm alive? Or are you scared of my body like most people? Scared of my head? Concerned that it's a bad idea to leave me unshackled?"
"Anyone would have those..."
"Or are you scared I'm going to wreck your darling marriage?"
Ty Lee looks away, and does not look at Azula again.
###
Azula wakes up suffocating.
She can smell blood and rot and ashes. She can feel things against her skin that she does not want to look at. She can tell that she is in more trouble than she was in the Spirit World.
Her first instinct is to punch upwards. Oh, that is human skin. That is a human arm. That is more than one human corpse. But she does not stop forcing her way upwards, lighting her hands and forcing herself not to gag over the smell of burning flesh.
She reaches the surface, which does not smell much better. At least she can breathe now. She makes one last push with her meager strength and ends up atop ashes.
It was a mass grave. It is a mass grave. She turns and gazes at it while breathing raggedly. If she was in there, she probably is not in the best of situations.
Her body screams at her that it does not want to move, but she does not have another choice. Azula makes herself stand and walk towards the dirt road. She is in a leveled village, but that doesn't matter to her.
She feels and looks like a zombie.
Some stupid peasant village doesn't matter.
###
Azula snaps back to reality when she hears her uncle.
"I want to help you," says Iroh.
"Everyone does," Azula bitterly replies.
She is lying down in a sun room. It's very serene and alive. Her head always echoes with what it felt like to claw her way out of a mass grave. That was certainly the least pleasant part of an unpleasant journey. Now she just tries to cope with the aftermath, as usual.
And her brother being married to her old girlfriend.
The one she still kind of likes.
And being knocked up with something that might not even be human.
The only evidence of her transcendental two-year trip.
"No. I want to break you out of this custody and take you to where I think the spirits want you to go," Iroh says and Azula's jaw drops.
She does not think her mouth has ever done that, but the last thing she would ever expect is an offer of aid from her uncle. Particularly assistance that goes against Zuko's wishes. Then again, she has no idea what she was asking for in their previous conversation; it could be something that gives him hope that it can turn her "good" or whatever else he calls being a weakling.
"Okay, so last dragons and the word you refuse to define? Let's get going." Azula forces herself to stand up even though it hurts.
Turns out 'should have be dead' means 'will be in excruciating pain for an indefinite period of time' as Azula has learned the hard way. She learns everything the hard way.
"You should pack. We will be traveling through jungle after a lengthy ride. There is not another way to the ruins."
"Ruins? Why are we going to ruins?" Azula demands.
"You said you wanted to pursue the prompts that the spirits gave you. I am offering you only one chance."
"You're worse than my father sometimes. The jolly and grandfatherly exterior doesn't change that about you."
"Very observant." He doesn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing him bothered. He also knows that she is going to make helping her extremely difficult for him.
Azula goes to find some of the few belongings that Zuko gave her.
###
"You try to push away those who help you because you are punishing yourself constantly."
"I'm punishing myself by being in an enclosed space with you for so long. Do you ever stop giving unwanted advice?"
"I will stop once you take the unwanted advice."
"That is never happening." The sound of wheels rolling replaces Iroh's lecturing for a few blissful minutes. But then Azula screams, "What was that?"
Her uncle nearly falls out of the carriage from shock. "What was what? My hearing isn't that bad."
"It's inside of me. Something is trying to break through my ribs."
He stops himself from laughing, which is a challenge.
"It's a baby kicking," he says. "You are – you are having a child, you know."
"I'm probably having a monster. The healers said I should have been a corpse. How could I possibly be pregnant?" I also certainly don't remember ever having sex with a man in my life, she thinks after saying it.
"Well, I will love that monster niece or nephew the same as any other," Iroh says and Azula forces herself to not argue. She needs him at least until she gets to these dragons.
The carriage comes to a lurching half at the edge of the forest. At first, Azula thinks she is at her final destination, but then she sees why they really stopped. She pushes open the door and gets out of the carriage as fast as she can move.
"What is that?" Azula demands with wide eyes.
"A spirit." Iroh shuts his carriage door. The driver and ostrich horses are all missing.
"It's in the trees," Azula whispers. She tries to follow the motions with her eyes, but it is too fast and well camouflaged to get a lock.
Iroh lights his hands and Azula does the same.
They might be in some serious trouble. Iroh follows it with his eyes and sees that it is not doing anything but examining the two royals. He narrows his eyes.
"Hit that tree," he orders Azula and she squints at him.
"I'm not angering it. I've heard about the spirit attacks." She was buried in a mass grave from one particularly devastating spirit attack.
"Just test it. Please," Iroh asks and Azula sighs.
She touches two fingers together and singes the bark of a tree near the spirit. It twitches, but does not attack.
"This feels wrong. We should leave," Azula says. This makes her very nervous.
"It may follow us," Iroh whispers, although he seems skeptical. His eyes flit around anxiously, which makes Azula feel nauseous.
"Are we supposed to fight this thing?" she shouts at Uncle and the old man shakes his head.
It just keeps moving, looking like it wants to attack but doing nothing. Azula wonders if running will provoke it, or if running is the best thing she can do. It hasn't retaliated since she attacked it.
"Let's go into the jungle," Iroh says firmly and Azula nods twice.
She follows him as fast as she can.
###
Azula watches a sun bear prowl through the jungle.
It does not even come near her. Much like the spirit she saw. A spirit in the mortal world, which means Zuko does have his hands full and the Avatar is as useless as Azula believed.
"I want to hunt that," Azula says and Iroh raises his eyebrows. "You have lost our bags and our driver. I want to hunt that sun bear."
"It looks…"
"Are you looking to drastically lose some weight? There are probably poison berries somewhere here I can gather for you."
Iroh says nothing about the fact that they just were run into the thick of the jungle by a spirit of all things. She appreciates his restraint, because this is all his fault.
"We're close to where I want to take you, I am sure. Well, I think. I know it's about two days from the road and is near trees."
"Well, we're near trees," Azula snaps, but she is pretty sure they are less than two days from the road. He clearly is just trying to stop her from ripping his throat out. "I can't believe I even trusted you for a minute."
"I didn't think you trusted me. That is very sweet of—" he begins before she reaches out to burn him but he grabs her wrist before she even gets close.
"I am going to hunt that. You make a fire and find somewhere for me to sit down because you have so happily pointed out that I am pregnant. And now fending for my life in the jungle looking for…?"
"Sun Warrior ruins. If you see any, let me know," Iroh says as if this is a picnic in the park.
"Fine." Azula does not even bother asking him about what he wants from Sun Warrior ruins. She is in no mood for riddles. "I will be back."
She does not wind up coming back.
###
Because the ruins are not exactly deserted.
And now she is blindfolded. She fought before realizing that this might be worth investigating. But every second, she is more and more livid at Iroh. Azula is going to figure out this Sun Warrior nonsense, but she is never forgiving him.
Her uncle could have warned her about this, but, of course, he does not trust her. Which nearly has gotten her killed. Maybe Azula should try to be more trustworthy. No. No, that sounds terrible. She never wants to do that.
Once people start making it possible to trust them, she will make it possible for people to trust her.
That is only fair.
###
Azula stares at her bonds and looks around at ruins that are not quite deserted. Chatter is about spirit attacks, as with most places. They seem to think that she is not listening.
She doubts that the Sun Warriors will let her go. Or at least the remaining ones. She knew they were extinct, but…
"There aren't enough of you to sustain even a village," Azula says as she glances around the ruins. "You've lost people to spirit attacks."
One of the four guards examines her. "We have. And you will help us by speaking to Ran and Shaw."
"Is that dangerous?" Azula asks, her fingers moving to break free of her bonds. There are so few of them, it would take a tiny bit of lightning to get out of here.
But, no, Ran and Shaw. Important. This is the closest she has gotten to answers.
The apparent Sun Warrior says, "We are looking for the Sun Priestess. If you are not the Sun Priestess, they will kill you."
"And if I am this Sun Priestess thing…?" Azula dares to ask. She receives only bitter stares. Maybe Sun Priestess is not a good person to be. It sounds good, but Azula no longer trusts anything in the world. Trusting people, things or spirits never seems to work out for her. "That's not a good thing, is it?"
"Then they will not kill you."
"Oh."
Azula would kill them first.
###
"So, as far as I know I'm just a princess, not a priestess. Anyone want to tell me what that entails?"
"No."
###
"I'm having a baby. You can't possibly sacrifice me. Don't you have hearts?"
"No."
###
"There's this useless old man in the jungle somewhere, probably making tea… Do you think he might be the Sun Priestess? I mean—"
"No."
###
"Who are we even waiting for?"
"No."
"That isn't a valid answer!"
###
"I will kill—" Azula begins, but another guy enters. They all look the same.
"We're ready now," he announces.
"What, were your precious heroes sleeping?" she exasperatedly demands.
"Yes."
###
"That's my uncle. You captured my uncle?" Azula asks in disbelief. She has been sitting uncomfortably in the awful heat while he was making tea for these savages.
"I am sorry I didn't get you earlier," Iroh says and she clenches her fists. "They had to make preparations. I am certain you will be fine."
"You want to kill me," Azula says.
He waves his hands as if that revokes what he put her through today. "No, of course I don't."
"You want to kill me. These people want to sacrifice me!"
Iroh chortles. Azula is about to lose it. "You are overreacting. The spirits chose you, right? You are alive after two years comatose, you knew to ask those things. You... don't know what the kuzet part is yet. Oh, I was going to tell you once we got off of the carriage but there was that spirit and, well..." He laughs. He laughs.
"That might have been useful information," she hisses.
"You look like your brother when you're irrationally angry," Iroh coos and Azula takes a deep breath.
"This is not irrational," she viciously snarls.
"Well, I don't know." He sighs and adopts a serious expression. "Kuzet is a dragon blood. Or, well, a person with dragon blood. It's only carried on through women in our family, which there hasn't been in some time."
Azula sighs and burns off her bonds. She dares the Sun Warriors to try to tie her up again. "Nobody told me this. Ever."
"Nobody really believed in it anymore." Iroh turns his palms up while his niece's eyes narrow on him. "I didn't until my journey through the spirit world."
"You still didn't tell me."
Iroh frowns. "I felt it was best you didn't know about any infinite powers you had."
"That's fair enough," Azula has to admit. "Selfish, but I understand."
"Right. I don't know about Sun Priestesses, but believe me when I say that this is an important part of your spiritual journey to stop spirits from killing people."
"Fine." Azula looks at the tense warriors. "Take me to this sacrifice. Dying is better than living under Zuko's rules."
###
Azula begins to become nervous. She knows she should not be, but there is that same twisting and pounding in her that babies cannot possibly do. It's going to break her ribs, probably protesting the chance that Uncle is completely senile and she is going to die a horrible death.
She stands and allows herself to be set up for this.
So help her, she cannot believe she is doing this. Maybe it's another terrible dream. Maybe she never made it out of that grave.
The silence aches.
But then her vision flashes and she slips away in a snapping second.
The punching sensation inside of her is more powerful than the rumbling sensation outside of her.
Azula is in utter agony at first; the rending of herself and the creation of another makes her twist and writhe in searing pain, but when she wakes up the world is on fire... and it is so beautiful.