Ty Lee does not sleep well. She smells the smoke even with her window closed and she hears the wails of spirits policing the streets.
"I recruited humans to help out with the curfew patrols," a voice says, making Ty Lee sit up and scream. "You have lost some of your situational awareness; I imagine you didn't hear me coming in because of the spirits outside."
Ty Lee sits up. She sees little but a silhouette and glittering golden eyes. The sight is frightening and intoxicating both.
"You got humans to do it?" Ty Lee whispers, wide-eyed.
Azula nods.
"It was a good offer for them. I have a lot of loyal soldiers, of course, what with three armies behind me, but I asked civilians to police other civilians. At the time, I imagined it would comfort the dissidents. Of course, insurgents never think logically, now do they?" Azula walks to stand in front of the window. The moonlight illuminates her, but it does not make her less scary; it does the opposite.
Ty Lee picks at her lips as she thinks. Azula waits patiently for Ty Lee to speak first, which is not something that has ever happened in their relationship. Does any relationship still exist between them? Yes. Captor and captive.
"It's hard to sleep here. It's really different," Ty Lee softly explains, even though she knows that could go unsaid. "I'm super grateful, of course, because this is way nicer than a jail but—"
"You knew I would keep you here. Do not take me for such a fool," Azula says, sitting down on the windowsill. "You came running to me because you wanted the Dragon Queen's attention and favor. Did it get boring being a nobody hiding in the woods? Did you lack the attention you always have desperately craved?"
Ty Lee feels infinitesimally small. Azula has a knack for doing that to people.
"It's good to be with you and Mai," Ty Lee says. She thinks she might mean it, and so Azula does not lash out over the questionable claim. "Before the Boi-betrayal. Before that awful betrayal, you two were the only people in the world who really mattered to me."
"She just mattered more." Azula pretends not to care, shrugging but not concealing her expression well enough. "So, you can understand that she now matters more to me than you do."
It makes Ty Lee's blood boil for no good reason. She has no reason to feel jealous when she is married to Zuko.
"I…guess I understand," says Ty Lee, toying with her blankets.
"You never visited me before," Azula comments. Ty Lee does not know what she means by it. "I was locked up in that tower with only me and Ryzu and you never stopped by once."
Ty Lee hangs her head. She does feel guilty about that for good reason.
"I'm sorry," Ty Lee says.
"Have a nice night. I hope you sleep well," Azula says offhandedly before exiting the room and locking the door behind her.
Ty Lee sits up and stares at the closed door for a long time.
She wonders why Azula bothered to stop by for just a few moments. There must have been some reason for it, but Ty Lee cannot guess what for the life of her.
###
In the morning, guards take Ty Lee out to the courtyards. It is cold out, but the air is surprising crisp and damp for how smoky the city of Caldera is. Ty Lee walks around and examines how things have changed. Flowers and plants still bloom despite the raging fires. The former Fire Lady bends down to pluck one, but a guard grabs her arm.
"It makes the spirits angry. They're trying to rebuild nature," he says.
Ty Lee nods, although she wonders why the spirits think burning things left and right and killing people will restore nature. Restoring the dragons is one thing; resurrecting flowers is another. The latter seems pettier than the former.
"I wouldn't want to make them angry," Ty Lee says, straightening her back and stretching.
She wanders for a while longer, eyes on her at all times, and then turns around to see Mai sitting at one of the tables with tea in hand. Mai hates the outdoors, so Ty Lee thinks her old friend probably came looking for her. Ty Lee walks across the courtyard and sits down across from Mai.
Ty Lee notices the baby bump now. It is quite distinct in Mai's clothes today, but she still does not look exceptionally far in.
"Are you acclimating?" Mai asks, sounding bored by her own question.
"Sorta," Ty Lee says, nodding more fervently than she should. "I hope I can."
Mai lackadaisically murmurs a favorable response. She raises her voice to an audible volume when she says, "Azula will want to play with you, and I don't mean in a sexual way. You surrendered yourself into a dollhouse."
Ty Lee does know that but she wonders if it is wise to say it out loud.
"I had to. I couldn't run forever and I didn't want to," Ty Lee says. "I thought maybe she had some affection left for me and that I could be okay here, that maybe she wouldn't execute me."
"Oh, she won't. She would never get rid of you so quickly, not until she gets bored of you," Mai says gravely. Ty Lee wonders…
"Do you love Azula?" Ty Lee asks.
"We don't love each other. Azula and I don't love; I don't think we're capable of it. I was—and am—her advisor. I was strictly her advisor but I was too good at what I did. The spirits took interest in me and I became engaged to her over it," Mai explains. Ty Lee believes her. "I guess we're supposed to be some kind of happy family, but I don't do happy and Azula doesn't do family."
Ty Lee closes her eyes.
"Good luck with your… everything with her."
Ty Lee has never felt such jealousy, nor such loathing towards herself.
###
Ty Lee meets Ryzu that day. He towers above her, so different from the baby who bit her.
It hurts much more when the adult does. When she tries to approach the dragon, he lashes out with his claws, as if he has hungered for her blood since that day. She screams at the gash and is stunned at who runs for her.
The Dragon Queen's crown tips and falls as she stares down at Ty Lee. She examines the gash, her chest heaving, before Ty Lee blacks out from the pain.
###
Ty Lee wakes up to the sensation of drifting aimlessly. Her head feels fuzzy and she registers slight discomfort at her midsection. She tries to sit up when she remembers that Ryzu attacked her, but the pain returns her to her back. Ty Lee squeezes her eyes shut until the pain recedes again.
She looks up and sees the Dragon Queen.
"Oh, good, you're up," says Azula. Ty Lee struggles to comprehend her words.
"Whaddidayougiveme…?" Ty Lee slurs.
"A dragon scratch hurts a little more than a cat scratch. If you would like me to stop giving you the pain herbs, I certainly can," purrs Azula, sounding slightly offended. Ty Lee does not know why. Maybe she would be able to read Azula if she did not feel so wonky.
"Ilike 'em," slurs Ty Lee, uncertain where her ability to speak went.
She looks up towards Dragon Queen Azula and first sees a figure radiating sunlight. The room has a golden tint from the time of day and Azula looks like the Empress of the Sun, not the Mother of Dragons. Azula walks to Ty Lee and transforms from an embodiment of the sun into an ordinary person.
Ty Lee thinks for a moment why her feelings for Azula and feelings for sunshine are quite different. Azula might as well be the sun, but she is the sun in a scorching desert, cruel, relentless, pleased to have such power. Sunshine is equated with happiness in places not as arid and dangerous as those haunted by the strong sun.
Azula used to make her happy, but… she always was afraid of Azula. Mai apparently was not, but Ty Lee is not Mai. Ty Lee then notices how much she wishes she were Mai, with her baby and her potential family with Azula. If that were to belong to anyone, it should belong to Ty Lee.
"Mai hurts you, doesn't she?" asks Azula and Ty Lee's eyes widen. "What; you look like you just saw a ghost?"
Ty Lee shakes her head. "I juss thaw for a minuhju could read minds."
"Oh, but I can," Azula says, smirking as she sits on the foot of the bed, twisting her body to face the pained, bedridden girl of her long-lost dreams. "Still, it is not different from you and Zuko. I also know that you are still loyal to him, and he probably is the one who sent you here."
Ty Lee's eyes are wide, her mouth agape, her fingers suddenly clutching the blankets. Azula remains poised and statuesque as Ty Lee panics.
"How didju know?" Ty Lee asks, trying to sit up again.
Azula touches her shoulder and gently pushes her back down. "Stop; you will hurt yourself. Now, I knew from the moment you walked into Caldera that you were on some secret mission. That aside, I could tell you what I am going to do with you, but I don't want to. It would be so boring that way, don't you think?"
Ty Lee does not think she has ever been this scared before. She decides to make a desperate grab for the preservation of her life.
"I-I had more, more, uh, more…" Ty Lee hopes Azula understands that. The Dragon Queen says nothing, so maybe Ty Lee has a chance. "I did wanna seeoo."
"Unsurprising." Azula does not look as shocked as Ty Lee hoped she would.
"I'm sorry I didn't visit." Ty Lee must force every word out, but she manages to articulate. She wants to be able to say it properly.
Azula takes a slow breath, gazing at Ty Lee with pity.
"I believe the phrase would be 'too little, too late,'" says the Dragon Queen, rolling her shoulders. "Oh, don't look so wounded. You put yourself in this position."
Azula stands up and leaves Ty Lee scared and alone.
###
Ember Island, years before the Dragon Queen conquered the world.
Ty Lee reaches across the salt and sand. The setting sun frames Azula with a darkness and color that mirrors her aura. Feeling so funny, she takes Azula's hand in hers. Azula allows it, which is the most exciting thing Ty Lee has ever felt.
She is on a beautiful beach, she is young, she is alive, and she is in love. That is all a person can ever ask to be. That is the best thing to be.
"You look really pretty in sunrise, but you look just as pretty in sunset," Ty Lee says, wanting to stroke Azula's wrist but too afraid to do it. So much for that confidence she attempted to teach Azula last night. Maybe she is good at flirting, but she is good at it because she has nothing to lose with the stream of potential lovers she does not accept.
"I always look pretty," Azula says. Ty Lee vigorously nods.
"Yes. I have something I really want to say but I don't know any of the words to say it," Ty Lee says, her body feeling like she is walking a tightrope. This is more jarring, dangerous and frightening than acrobatics ever could be.
"Go ahead." Azula does not seem to care, which hurts Ty Lee.
"I'd—uh—well—I'd—you see—I'd rather you kill me than not love me," Ty Lee blurts out. She wants to dig a deep hole in the sand and curl up in it to die.
"I get that a lot," says Azula, shrugging.
Ty Lee cannot tell if she is lying—joking—or not. She just knows that people want Azula to love them. Zuko and Mai are probably the only people immune to that.
"But—but—uh—but—I mean that in a romantic way," Ty Lee whispers. Yes, dying buried in the sand sounds very pleasant right now.
Azula does look surprised at last. She stares at Ty Lee and starts to lean towards her before pulling back. At first, she does not release Ty Lee's hand, but the moment her palms begin to sweat she slips away.
"I—oh—I—oh—well—I…" Azula is tongue-tied. "That's a thing you said, I guess."
It is pretty far from her most eloquent, but Ty Lee is relieved.
The nervous, socially inept person sitting beside her is better than the cold, disinterested dream girl sitting within lips' reach.
###
"Will you take me outside?" Ty Lee asks one of the healers taking care of her. "It's such a beautiful day and I've been in this bed forever."
Ty Lee bats her eyelashes and smiles. It works, as it always does.
With the healer's help, she is able to get out again. The courtyard is a bit close to Ryzu, and she does not want to get half-eaten again, but she wants to see it. Whatever the spirits have done with the place she is deeply attracted to.
She has never seen such lush foliage in her life.
Ty Lee looks up and sees a familiar tree. She wonders if the branch she dangled upside down from over and over is still there. It probably is not, just like everything else she fondly recalls from childhood.
As she, with the assistance of crutches, explores, she finds a stream that did not exist before. It flows in a way that calms even a girl from the Fire Nation. Up ahead is a small waterfall, and Ty Lee wonders where it stems from. It does not seem to be manmade.
How strange.
"Do you see why they have the right idea?" Azula says.
Ty Lee jumps, so startled that she barely catches herself and her crutches. She hops around to look at the Dragon Queen.
"The spirits, you mean?" Ty Lee asks curiously and Azula nods.
"They just wanted to fix what my ancestors did to the world. They needed someone to truly heal things. Of course, I think I am supposed to be working together with the Avatar. Unfortunately, no one seems to be able to find him and I think he might object to my highly effective methods," says Azula, walking closer to Ty Lee.
Ty Lee smiles at her.
"I was telling the truth about wanting to see you. But, no, I'm not here for any reasons you want," Ty Lee says.
Azula shrugs. "I expected it. You never were the girl I thought you to be."
"What does that mean?" Ty Lee asks, now afraid Azula will strike her down without a second thought. She might feed Ty Lee to Ryzu, which sounds like an unpleasant way to die.
"It means that I imagined you were much more desirable than you are. I thought you were loyal and worth my attention," Azula coolly says, eyeing Ty Lee with pure disdain. It hurts the former Fire Lady. "I was young, I suppose."
"We both were," Ty Lee replies quietly, giving in to the animosity. Well, pretending to succumb to loathing, when she really never could hate Azula if she tried.
Azula says no more. She goes to return to whatever it is she was doing.
Ty Lee knows she is not supposed to be out, even if Azula never explicitly stated it. But Azula did nothing. Azula is… too lenient with her prisoner, and that scares Ty Lee.
She must have something truly awful in mind.
It is the only explanation.
###
"I am not overjoyed to be visiting you," Mai says, sitting at Ty Lee's bedside. "Yet, I am doing it of my own volition. Why?"
"Because we're best friends," Ty Lee replies, grinning from ear to ear. Mai looks at her as if she is insane. "What? What is it?"
"I just didn't think you'd consider us to be friends after this whole Dragon Queen thing," Mai says, a very slight hint of curiosity in her tone. She barely ever gives away emotion in words, but Ty Lee can tell that Mai really is stunned by the fact that they will be friends forever.
Ty Lee reaches out and holds one of Mai's hands. That seems to confuse her further.
"We're best friends forever and ever, no matter what. Whether you're marrying my true love or helping her destroy the world or not!" Ty Lee chirps, trying to hug Mai. She stops herself when she feels the pain.
"I haven't ever seen Ryzu attack someone without Azula telling him to," Mai curiously comments, eyeing the bandages wrapped around Ty Lee's ribcage. "He must hate you for some reason. Or maybe you just smell too perfumey. You always smell like perfume and I have no idea how you do while here."
Ty Lee shrugs. "I really only can smell smoke anymore. It's probably like really bad for me."
"Really bad for anyone." Mai shifts her gaze as if she has said something horrible. Ty Lee narrows her eyes. "But it's not a problem. The world is like a phoenix, or whatever Azula says during her speeches."
Ty Lee powers through the pain and sits up, leaning closer to Mai. She can feel the heat of her best friend and romantic rival as she whispers into her ear, "Are you scared of Azula?"
Mai takes a long time to reply, leaving Ty Lee nervous as could be.
"No," says Mai. "I am afraid of something infinitely her greater and infinitely more vengeful."
Mai rises and vacates the room. She must have known that Ty Lee was going to ask more questions, and was too afraid to answer them.
Ty Lee has never known Mai to be scared like that.
She thinks about the panicked orders to not pick flowers. And she thinks about the way that everyone seems on edge.
It takes a while longer than it should for Ty Lee to piece it together, thinking through every minute aspect of Mai and the soldiers and Dragon Queen Azula herself, but, when she does, she is revolted. It is the scariest revelation she has had since the fact that Azula and her dragons and spirits and armies had conquered the world more cruelly and swiftly than Sozin ever could.
This is worse, so much worse.
She thought Azula was commanding the spirits.
But she now knows she was wrong.
The spirits are commanding Azula.