Questions for Readers of AVDHP:
My primary focus of this story initially was the relationship between Merlin and Harry. As the story has evolved:
Harry's major focus is attempting to rebuild his House into a political power and spreading his genes far and wide to prevent his House from being easily destroyed root and branch.
Draco's plans are a major subplot which will lead toward this rebuilding, smoothing some issues while causing others. But Draco has plans within plans and not all are in Harry's best interest.
Hermione has a major discovery coming which will help Harry and rock the wizarding world at the same time.
But, my major roadblock at the moment is how to deal with Voldemort and Dumbledore.
Voldemort is a cartoon bad guy, as written in canon. He has NO redeeming characteristics. (If anyone could dispute this, I would love to hear your examples. Even Hitler, Stalin, and Mao had SOME redeeming characteristics. Not enough to make them good men, but enough to prevent them from being as two dimensional as Snidely Whiplash.) But, Voldy is not central to my plots, so I could leave him as written in canon: Two dimensional, stupid, evil, without redeeming characteristics (Basically he is the proverbial monkey with a gun). Or I could write him as the genius he supposedly is. (Face it, stupid people don't last practicing the dark arts… because the dark arts will eat them… ? ) Voldy could use politics, economics, extortion, assassination, and good deeds; each in its time, to achieve his goals. And he will actually HAVE goals beyond "everyone bow to me or I will kill you."
Dumbledore is also rather cartoonish. JKR wants us to accept him as this legendary wizard fighting for the side of light. But the truth is far simpler. He is either irresponsible in the extreme or he is a sadistic, manipulative bastard who cares for nothing except his plans. Consider the general evidence. He holds THREE major positions, any one of which should take his complete attention to perform properly. There is no way he can responsibly hold all three at once. This is without considering specifics, such as placing HP with the Dursleys and never checking on him. Even if the Dursleys were the stereotypical perfect family and took HP to their hearts as their own, periodic checks should have been performed.
So, I am placing two polls on my profile page dealing with Voldy and Dumbles. I want your opinions on whether they should be fleshed out as real characters with real motives and what those motives should be… or should they remain the cartoon cutouts JKR made them?
Thank you for taking the time to read this and respond.
Sincerely,
Barbed Caress
And a little something to reward you for taking a few moments to read and respond.
I wrote this months ago and then rewrote it and rewrote it again. Each time my beta told me it skirts too close to the M rating which I want to avoid. So I have redacted those portions which would acquire that rating. Those adult enough may fill in with your imagination. As I originally wrote three completely different versions, I am sure yours will be close to the 'original'. All three ending the same way, so as long as yours matches my ending, you should be fine. (If you are wondering, the first was what you are reading, the second was a prank gone wrong, and the third was malicious poaching. All three ended with the same results, which you will see at the end of this chapter.)
How Dudley Got His Magic
-===October 14th, 1979: Potter Manor===-
Lily and Petunia sat in the receiving room at Potter Manor. It was nice; not great, but nice. They looked so much alike that only standing beside each other was it possible to tell who was who. The sisters had been separated by Petunia's jealousy of Lily's magic and being physically separated by distance as Lily went off to boarding school at Hogwarts.
But, somehow, they put forth the effort to rebuild the burnt bridges. After all, they were sisters. A little thing like jealousy could never keep them apart forever.
As Lily held Petunia's hands, she could tell something was wrong; seriously wrong. Petunia's tears were only barely holding back. Her entire body language screamed 'I'm in trouble'.
"Toony, what's wrong?"
"They taught you to do magic at that place, right?"
Petunia waited for the expected head nod.
"And witches are basically like real women, but with magic, right?" Petunia was unaware of her insult, so focused was she on her own problem.
Lily flinched, but let the insult go, so she could help her sister. She nodded again.
"Did they teach you… Did they teach you girls… Did they teach you how to tell if you were … pregnant?"
With that, the tears flowed freely down Petunia's cheeks.
"Oh Toony, what did you do?"
Lily was not fond of Vernon. Thinking back to when she had met him…
-===flashback===-
The few times they had met, Lily thought Vernon a braggart and bully. After meeting him for the first time, James went to their next planned meeting prepared. As Vernon bragged once again of his latest sale of drill bits to a major oil company, James pulled his wallet from his jacket, then pulled two pieces of paper from it. Handing them to Vernon, James said, "You can keep those."
With a confused look, wondering at the relevance given his current topic of his huge commission on his sale, Vernon looked at the papers.
Seconds later, Vernon became red in the face. Shuffling quickly to the second page, his face became darker as he read it; his body visibly shaking as he struggled for control of his tongue. A deep breath and a long exhale later, Vernon stood.
"I have just remembered a meeting I have tomorrow morning. I must get home to prepare for it. I trust you will all have a pleasant evening. Come Pet. Get our coats. I will drive you home before I start my revisions for tomorrow." Vernon said as he held his hand out for Petunia.
After they were gone Lily asked, "What were those two papers?"
James grinned, "Oh, one was a bank statement for one of our smaller vaults. The other was proof I own 20% of Grunnings Drills. More than sufficient to show him his bragging about his commissions is making him look rather silly. Without being able to brag about his money, apparently, he decided he didn't have enough to talk about to stay longer."
Lily giggled before a sobering thought came to her, "I hope he doesn't take his anger out on Toony."
Pulling her close in a hug to comfort her, "If he does, we will handle him. That is what family does."
-===End Flashback===-
Vernon had quit bragging after that, but also became scarce when he knew James would be present.
"Can you just check me? Please. I'm a week late. I am never late, you know that!" Petunia sputtered.
"Yes Toony, I can check," Lily responded, dreading the answer as much as she knew Petunia was.
A murmured incantation and some intricate wand-work later and the results were clear. Petunia was pregnant.
"Toony, I am sure Vernon will do the right thing by you. He makes enough to support you and your son. A word or two from James in the right ears and he will make even more. It will be alright."
"Son?" Petunia asked, "You can tell? I am going to have a son?"
Smiling gently Lily replied softly, "Yes, you are going to have a son and I am going to have a nephew."
This revelation seemed to make Petunia cry even harder, taking the box of tissues without noticing the house elf handing them to her. This was another red flag to Lily. Petunia flinched every time she saw a house elf, thinking them some unholy spawn of hell the first time she saw one and never since able to fully let that concept die in her mind.
Managing to sob out her next question, Petunia asked, "Is sob is he sob can you tell if he will be magic?" Her sobs became even louder as she managed to get it out.
'So, that is the issue. Petunia is afraid her son will be a freak like she thinks I am,' Lily thought to herself, her smile becoming somewhat brittle at the realization.
"Yes, I can check for you," Lily managed to still sound polite, although it was an effort now. "Freak" was the name Petunia had given her while she was at Hogwarts. She had stopped using it before they tried to heal their relationship, but knowing she used to think of Lily that way still hurt.
More muttering and wand-work left Lily staggered. Petunia was a squib!
Shaking herself, Lily chose another spell. The spell for testing for a magical child in a muggle was simpler than the one for a magical child in a squib.
Muttering another incantation and several wand passes over Petunia's lower abdomen confirmed Petunia's son would be magical, and probably a wizard instead of a squib.
"Okay, this is all I can tell you. You will have to see a magical, a healer, to learn more. You are pregnant, about three weeks along, and your son is probably going to be a wizard. It is too early in your pregnancy to get a good reading on your son's magical strength. He might be a high-magic squib instead. That would still give him a longer life than," Lily paused before saying it, "normal people and let him see magic that most normal people can't see."
Looking Petunia in the eyes, Lily asked softly, "How long have you known you were a squib?"
Petunia closed her eyes tight, forcing more tears down her face, "After your Hogwarts letter, before you left. July, I think. I wrote to your headmaster and begged him to take me with you. I didn't want to be separated from you!" Petunia broke down sobbing again.
"He said I have enough magic to be a squib, but not enough to attend Hogwarts. Not enough to be a witch, like you!" Petunia bawled into a fresh tissue.
After a few minutes, she looked up at Lily, "I have just enough magic to be a freak, but not enough to make it worth having." Breaking down again, she continued to cry.
Lily had a horrible idea cross her mind. If Petunia's son was a wizard, then the father probably was too.
"Toony, is Vernon the father?" Lily asked hesitantly.
"I DON'T KNOW," Petunia yelled into her hands.
"Who else have you… been with?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Petunia wailed to the ceiling.
Trying to stay calm, Lily asked, "Toony, how can you 'not know'?" Thinking to herself, Lily suddenly asked, "Did something happen at the Mabon festival?"
"YEEESSSSS!" Petunia shrieked.
Getting tired of the hysterics and needing to finish the conversation before James came home, Lily cast a calming charm on her sister and then another, waiting for Petunia to get herself under control.
With the sobbing reduced to the occasional sniffle, Lily asked, "Toony, you need to tell me what happened."
"I don't remember," Petunia's voice trembled even under two calming charms. "I went to your party, remember? May-Bone or whatever. Some harvest festival. I was so embarrassed when I realized we had worn the same color dresses. Only the black lace on mine kept me from going home immediately."
Lily nodded, remembering the dress, but not realizing it had affected Petunia so strongly.
"I was nineteen", Petunia managed a weak smile, "and was not used to drinking much. Our parents didn't like it in the house. I had a few drinks with Vernon on dates, but he never let me have more than one. When I got to the party, there was food and drink everywhere. And the outfits… it was more like a fancy-dress party! Half the men wore masks made of corn husks. There was even a woman with a dress made of corn husks. Remember her?"
Lily nodded, "Yes I remember her. That was Pandora Lovegood. Her husband was dressed as a scarecrow."
Petunia furrowed her eyebrows, "That was a person? I thought it was a scarecrow, a REAL scarecrow and had been magic'd to move like that."
Lily smiled at the memory, "The Lovegoods are a bit eccentric, but they are good people."
Petunia didn't argue, "Anyway, I saw all the people with the little corn dolls on their dresses and lapels and such. I asked you where I could get one so I would not stand out so much. Remember?"
Lily nodded. 'This will take forever, but I can't rush her. Any missed detail might be important."
Petunia continued, "And then you gave me the one from your dress. I thought you had another you would go get, but I noticed later you did not have one. You gave me your doll so I wouldn't feel such a stranger."
Looking Lily in the face, "Thank you."
Petunia continued, "The night went by in a blur. I was asked to dance several times. After the first three times, I started accepting. It was the most fun I have had in my adult life."
"We're nineteen. That is not saying much," Lily said with a grin.
"Too right," Petunia replied.
"So, I was dancing and got hungry and thirsty. My partner sat with me and we ate a bit and I had a glass of wine, then another gentleman asked me to dance. After three dances with him, he brought me another glass of wine before leaving me to his friend who wanted to dance. I don't know how many times I danced or how many glasses of wine I drank. But I started to get dizzy and decided to find somewhere to rest for a few minutes."
Lily nodded to keep Petunia talking.
"I found one of those fainting couches in what I think was a receiving room."
Looking around, Petunia's eyes popped open wide. "I think it may have been this room!"
Lily frowned, "Are you sure it was this room?"
"Lily, I am not 'sure' of anything from that night. If it was not this room, it was one very much like it. The lighting was very low. It was perfect for me to rest my eyes until the room would hold still."
Lily nodded again, motioning with her hand to continue.
"I don't know how long I was there. I might have dozed off. But I didn't throw up. I would have been mortified if my first party invitation to your husband's house saw me sick on his floor!"
"I started feeling better, but still a bit woozy, when this man came in. I think he was one of my dancing partners from earlier. He told me how beautiful I was and how he just had to kiss me. And… I let him. He was strong and gentle at the same time. He nibbled my ear, kissed my neck, then asked if I would like a foot rub. My feet were so sore from dancing, I said yes, although it may have come out a bit slurred."
"He moved to the end of the couch and took my shoes off. I don't know what kind of magic he did, but my feet started feeling better immediately. Soon they felt wonderful, sending little tingles up my legs to… you know."
Petunia looked at Lily, begging her with her eyes to understand so she didn't have to spell it out. When Lily nodded she continued.
"I don't know what magic he used. I never saw his wand," Petunia blushed furiously at the double-entendre. "But it felt even better and I noticed my hose was gone. Now he was rubbing from my heels to the back of my knees, making little squeezing motions as he went. It was amazing. I never felt anything like it!"
"Then he moved back to my face and started kissing me again. It was more passionate than anything in those trashy novels I used to read."
"Used to?" Lily interrupted with a smile.
"Moving on," Petunia countered, "It was feeling wonderful and then he started to untie my bodice. So, I slapped his hand. I told him it had taken me hours to get that lacing just perfect to make everything sit just right. He laughed at me and said the party was nearly over, so it would be okay. Then he told me he loved me. I told him he was drunk, which he admitted. 'Yes, I am drunk and you are beautiful. Tomorrow I will be sober and you will be even more beautiful.' And I admit it. I melted. I didn't resist when he loosened my bodice. I didn't protest anything. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensations from his hands and lips
*****Redacted*****
"My eyes flew open and he was smiling at me. His eyes behind that corn mask were beautiful and promised me love. Then I saw the little corn doll he was wearing. It looked just like the one I was wearing. It even had the same color silk ribbon. So, I decided this was meant to be. I closed my eyes and tried to experience it, to remember it. I had planned to wait for my wedding night, but that didn't happen. And you only get one 'first time'."
"I don't know how long it lasted. But all the time he whispered in my ear, "I love you" over and over again. Everything felt perfect. Then he kissed me again, gently. He said I was his and he was mine for all of time. Then he left."
"I haven't seen him since," Petunia murmured.
"And then?" Lily choked out.
"After he did not return, I felt used, broken. He seduced me, used me, and walked away as though I were a common whore." Petunia's tears began flowing again before Lily refreshed the calming charm.
"I went home and the next night I gave in to Vernon's attempts to bed me. I know the first time is supposed to be painful, but special. Mine was. But Vernon… there is no magic there, of either type. When we got to his bed, he kissed me a few times, took off my clothes, then his. *****REDACTED***** Less than five minutes later, he said, "I love you" and then rolled over and went to sleep. And you know the worst part?"
Lily shook her head perfunctorily.
"I didn't believe him. I don't believe Vernon loves me. I think someone told him he was supposed to say that when he was… 'done'. When I was sure he was asleep, I just lay there and cried silently for the rest of the night."
"Every time since has been identical."
"He is in a much better mood these days, but I can't help wishing for a wizard lover who can make me feel like that again." Petunia sniffled
"Toony, I might be able to help, but I need your permission."
"What do you want to do?"
"There is magic that can let me see your memories. Maybe I can figure out who he is."
Petunia considered this before nodding, "What do you need me to do?"
"Just look into my eyes and let me in, Toony. Let me see the night of the party. Let me see everything," Lily said in an almost hypnotic tone. Looking into Petunia's eyes, she did it.
"Legilimens"
-===Hours Later===-
Petunia woke slowly on the same couch from her memories. She was certain of it now.
Petunia saw Lily pacing around the large room. From the nearly perfect turns at every corner, she assumed this was something Lily did often.
Sitting up, "I don't remember falling asleep. What happened? Did you figure out who it was?"
Lily's voice was soft, but with an edge as she responded, "Yes, I know who it was. You fell asleep because what I did is very tiring to … you."
"Well, who was it? When he finds out I am pregnant, maybe he will marry me. We can at least get him to pay child support."
"No. He is married. The only reason he lay with you is that he thought you were me." Lily was obviously not happy about this.
Petunia even less so as she exclaimed, "You mean the only decent sex I am ever likely to get in my entire life is because they saw me and thought I was you?"
"They thought you were me." Lily didn't want to reinforce the 'sex will always be awful' comment.
"But why? If James found out someone other than him had lain with you, he would kill them. You said he has money. This house proves that! You said James has friends who would do 'anything for him'. Your words.
"Remember, you and I were wearing very similar dresses. The differences were small enough men would not notice especially in a darkened room. You were also wearing my corn doll. We look a lot alike. So, darkened room, similar dress, corn doll, nearly the same features."
"But we have different hairstyles! What idiot could confuse that?" Petunia shrieked.
"Almost any man. They are oblivious of such things."
"But mine is almost three inches shorter… THREE INCHES! How oblivious can they be?"
"You dear sister, have just described the male of the species. They are all idiots. Sometimes I think they are nothing more than a life support system for their gonads." Lily snarled.
"Well, I don't like it! If I am to be bedded, I would rather have Vernon. At least he knows it's me!"
"You want me to use magic to change the way you look?" Lily inquired.
"Can you?"
"Yes."
"Then yes, make it so I am never confused with you again!" Petunia begged.
Lily had to crush the rage at her betrayal lest she do something she 'might' regret someday. After all, making her bald would keep people from confusing them. So, would scarring her face. Or even killing her. She was unlikely to be confused with a corpse.
'No!' Lily thought to herself. 'This is not Toony's fault. It was not anyone's fault. I will not harm my sister.'
Looking back at Petunia, the angel on Lily's shoulder didn't fight the devil's suggestion, 'But she wants to look different from you. You can do that.'
"Alright Petunia. I can make you look different, but it will have to be gradual or everyone will notice. Within a few weeks, you should look enough different people will stop confusing us. Within months, no one will confuse us with each other. I am not sure what the results will be but I will aim for 'average looking'. Is that what you want?"
"Vernon is already complaining about how many men look at me in public. I think average will work just fine."
"Are you wanting to marry Vernon?"
"I am damaged goods now. At least he thinks he is was my first."
"But, do you want him to marry you? Many women don't wait for their wedding night any longer. Most, in fact. You could do better. Trust me on that!"
"No, if I can't have Magic Man, then I will settle for what I have."
Petunia frowned, "But what if he doesn't like my new face? What if he doesn't want me because of how I will look?"
"I can take care of that. A little magic and he will always think you are the perfect wife for him."
"You can do that?" Petunia's hope lit anew. "And no one will confuse you and I again?"
"Never," Lily promised.
The devil on Lily's shoulder smiled, while the angel on the other shoulder held her hands over her eyes.
-===Halloween Evening 1979===-
Lily had prepared the evening carefully.
Getting James away from the other Marauders was easy. Just a few suggestions for a 'private' celebration and a few bats of her eyelashes had James practically throwing them out the front door while Sirius was sing-songing "Someone's gonna get lucky" over and over and over.
Lily would be pregnant by the dawn. She understood how it happened, even if it was some sort of cosmic joke. She could even forgive the circumstances, barely. But there was no way her husband's only child would be Petunia's.
AN: I am going with Petunia and Lily being twins. Although canon says Petunia is the oldest, All I could find was Petunia was born in 1960 and Lily was born January 30th, 1960. So, the only way I see to make those fit is if they are twins and Petunia was born first. If I am mistaken, I look forward to the (inevitable) corrections. For the purposes of this story, it will not matter. They just need to look close enough to each other than in similar dresses, in a darkened room, with Mabon masks, they look alike to an inebriated man. I think that is a pretty low standard to hit.
AN: If this STILL makes this M rated, please respond with the portions you think should be redacted and I will remove them if enough people agree.