The Garden Party
Warning: Scene of sexual nature (nothing explicit, just extremely cringy) and description of domestic violence
The next morning, Claudia knew she could avoid Julius no longer. She scribbled a note for him and sent it by the family owl.
"Don't bother, the party is going to be awful. I can come to see you this afternoon. 30 Montague Road, right?"
She did some reading and after lunch, set off for Richmond where Julius lived. His jaw almost dropped off his face when he saw her standing on the doorstep. It took Claudia a while to understand. After all, he did reply to say it would be nice if she came. Then it struck her… She was so used to the hair now. It was as if she always had it this short.
"What do you think?" She asked cheekily.
"I guess I'll get used to it?" Julius stuttered.
"You better. I'm never growing it long again." Claudia laughed.
Julius recovered from the shock enough to give her a tour of the house, at the end of which, they found themselves in his room. Claudia had seen a hundred of rooms like this in her life. The antique furniture, the Slytherin colours, the heavy curtains. She turned around to make a joke but thought better of it when she saw Julius' face. He was frowning.
"We've been together for six months! Why don't you want me to come to your parent's party?" He asked but did not really give her a chance to respond. "You're ashamed of me, admit it." He added grumpily. Claudia rolled her eyes.
"Don't you get it? I'm ashamed of them. All the pure-blood nonsense they keep spouting." She said impatiently.
"I wouldn't mind." Julius shrugged.
"What do you mean? You wouldn't mind?" Claudia asked, for once, having no clue what was going on.
"I don't like it either. I'm proud of my family and all… But sometimes they do take it too far." Julius replied. He looked at her, as if he was considering confessing to more. He sat down on his bed and looked to the floor.
"You see… It was my grandfather, who wrote the Pure-Blood Directory." Claudia was stumped. The infamous pamphlet on which the pureblood mania was based on. Written by Julius' grandfather? That was seriously disturbing.
She sat down next to him and reached out for his hand. She always thought that Julius did not join her brother's gang just because they were dating. She had no idea he actually agreed with her. It was time to come clean.
"My father is a Death Eater... And Marcus probably too by now." She said, staring at their hands. It felt quite good to finally get it off her chest.
"My uncle too." She heard Julius whisper. Claudia had no idea what he was going to say in response to her confession, but she was not expecting him to say that! She looked up at him.
"I didn't know." She whispered back. Julius gave her a sad smile.
"You never asked." He said. Claudia felt an inexplicable feeling of warmth towards him. She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed him. For the first time, it felt like a real kiss.
They were alone in the house. If she wanted to do it. Oh, what the hell… Claudia thought to herself. She gave Julius another brief kiss and smiled. Then she looked down at her shirt and started to unbutton it.
"Are you sure about this?" Julius asked. Claudia smiled at him. He looked as if he did not believe what he was seeing. His eyes were flickering nervously between her chest and the door, as if he was expecting his parents to barge in any second.
"I'm sure about this." Claudia whispered and threw her unbuttoned shirt to the floor. In a fraction of a second, Julius' shirt was off too.
They both got up and took off their trousers. And then, they just stood there. Claudia was giggling nervously. She had no idea what to do next. Julius had the presence of mind to get back into his bed. He held up the duvet for Claudia and she slipped in to join him. It was strange, lying next to him, this close, almost completely naked.
"Should we, take off...?" Julius began to ask but could not quite bring himself to finish the sentence. He did not need to. Claudia kissed him, reached down, and took off her underwear. He must have done the same. She did not dare to look.
Julius struggled with Claudia's bra strap. He was taking way too long, Claudia thought. To save him the embarrassment, she turned onto her back and shuffled closer to him. He gave up with the bra and climbed on top of her.
"Do you have the potion? He asked.
"The one to prevent unintended consequences? Yes." Claudia said and kissed him.
"Are you really sure about this?" Julius asked again.
"Do you want me to change my mind now?" Claudia laughed. He did not. She felt tiny bit of discomfort, but that was it. Contrary to what the old wives' tales would lead her to believe, it was neither painful nor particularly special. It was just bit awkward. And the more they moved, the weirder it felt. Maybe if I move a bit more, or a bit less, or I put my leg here, or there... Claudia was wrecking her brain throughout the whole thing. This could not have been it. So much fuss. And what for?!
At some point, Julius stopped moving and dropped back down next to her. Claudia turned to him.
"Did it hurt? Are you ok?" He asked, brushing his hand against her arm.
"No. I'm ok." Claudia replied. Julius reached out for her hand and squeezed it.
"I love you." He whispered.
"Me too." Claudia replied almost automatically. She never understood what the big deal was with these three words. It was just something people said to make each other feel better. They continued to look at each other for few more minutes.
"I should go. Your parents will be home any time now." Claudia said finally. She sat up, slid her legs down the bed and began to put her clothes back on.
She turned to look at Julius, who was still lying in the bed propping himself up on his elbow. She had never seen him smile quite this much.
"You should come to the party. For moral support against the pure-blood brigade." Claudia said.
"Are you asking me to come as your boyfriend?" Julius asked. Claudia smiled at him.
"Yes, as my boyfriend." Claudia could not help but smile for the rest of the day. She was even beginning to look forward to the bloody garden party that her mother was planning. Maybe Julius would finally grow a spine and stand up for himself, and what he believed in. Maybe, they would have a chance after all.
The following day, Claudia was about to sneak out to Hampstead Heath with a sandwich, but her mother caught her.
"Let's have lunch dear. Just us girls." Cassandra said with a fake smile. She was up to something. Claudia reluctantly sat down at the table, just as Sky brought out the starters.
"I wanted to talk to you about something..." Cassandra said.
"Yes?" Claudia asked wearily. She was dreading whatever was coming.
"You are growing into a young woman..." Cassandra began to say.
"Mother, please." Claudia growled.
"You are growing into a young woman." Cassandra repeated. "And there are certain expectations that come with it." She added. Claudia frowned. She did not like expectations. They were almost always bullshit. And the complete opposite of what she wanted to do.
"I was hoping that you will come to understand these expectations yourself... But the hair." Cassandra continued. She was on a verge of tears. Claudia rolled her eyes.
"Is my hair really the most important thing to you?!" Claudia could not help but to feel little amused. If her mother knew what Claudia got up to when she went to see Julius, she would have a breakdown. She could practically hear her. You gave away your greatest treasure! No one is going to want to marry you now! It took all of Claudia's strength not to burst out laughing.
"I just worry what people will think." Cassandra continued.
"What do you mean? What should they think?" Claudia was becoming quite annoyed now.
"That there is something wrong with you, or course! Short hair, strange clothes, all the Quidditch." Cassandra complained. "At least you have a boyfriend now... But if it wasn't for Marcus, we wouldn't even know..." She added, with a slight frown.
"At least I have a boyfriend? What's that supposed to mean?" Claudia barked. Her temper was definitely rising now.
"People expect you to have a boyfriend at your age. I was getting worried and so were my friends… Anyway, is he coming to the party next week?" Cassandra asked cheerfully.
"Yes." Said Claudia through gritted teeth, regretting already she had ever invited him. Cassandra's eyes had lit up.
"Is he? With his parents? We need to prepare. Get you something to wear. What does he like to eat? We should ask the house-elf to prepare something special for him." She went on and on. As usual, there was no need to answer any of these questions.
"He'll be fine. He's not royalty." Claudia hissed. She was beginning to regret that her father and Marcus were out at work most days. It would have been easier to have lunch with a couple of murderers. Anything would have been easier than this. Cassandra frowned.
"I hope you don't speak this way to him. Remember, you need to be nice to him. He's your boyfriend." Cassandra paused. "He should be royalty to you." She added with a beaming smile. Claudia could not believe her ears. She had never heard such nonsense before.
But before she had a chance to respond and complain, Cassandra called for the house-elf. Sky ran into the room.
"Yes, mistress?" She asked, still panting.
"Claudia will find out what her boyfriend likes to eat. You will take extra care in making it for the party." Cassandra barked at Sky. Claudia was screaming on the inside. There was no way she was going to do that. Ever! She was about to protest out loud, when Sky spoke again.
"Yes, mistress… I'm also about to go to the Ministry to drop off the bonnet that Master had forgotten." Claudia recovered her bearings.
"I can take it." She jumped in. She was desperate to get into the Ministry after what she learned in the Daily Prophet's offices. This was as good chance of a as she was going to get. Cassandra looked at her suspiciously. Claudia volunteering to help out her parents was not exactly usual.
"I can stop by in Diagon Alley to look at some new robes for the party." Claudia added hopefully.
"Fine." Cassandra agreed. She was so easy to fool! At least this stupid lunch was good for something, Claudia thought as she run out of the house before her mother changed her mind.
Claudia knew full well where her father's office was at the Ministry. But she pretended to get lost and found herself peeking into the various rooms on the floor that housed the Auror's Office. Finally, she saw something interesting. There was a big board in the middle of the room. Claudia scanned it. There was a map of Hogsmeade. Some documents that were too far to read. And a picture of a man with straggly ginger hair and a stubble. 'Wanted - MF' was written in big letter across the top of the picture. That must be him! The person that journalist said the aurors were looking for! The one who saw the corpse. Claudia took few tentative steps towards the board…
"Claudia? Is that you? What are you doing here?" Claudia jumped. It was Mr Adler.
"I got lost looking for my father's office." She replied quickly.
"Wrong floor, my dear. Roberts here will show you." Mr Adler gestured towards a young man.
"Follow me." Roberts said with a wink. Claudia narrowed her eyes. He looked vaguely familiar. He must have noticed that she did not recognise him.
"We played Quidditch against each other. I was in Ravenclaw. Graduated last year." He quipped. No wonder she did not really recognise him. She barely paid attention to who her Quidditch opponents were. Well, except that Leanne girl. Claudia bit her lip. That was embarrassing...
"I remember you now." She lied. She was about to ask him a lot of questions and did not want to seem rude. They set off together down the corridor.
"Are you working on the Hogsmeade murder?" She asked, as innocently as she could. Roberts nodded.
"Lot of us are. The Minister is pushing us really hard to find the culprit. Lots of parents are worried about sending kids back to school." He explained.
"I am thinking about applying to be an auror when I graduate..." Claudia said.
"Are you, really? Do you have any questions about it?" Roberts asked enthusiastically. They arrived at the lifts. Roberts pressed the button.
"What does it involve? Working on a murder... Hunting suspects…" Claudia said. She was fishing for information about 'MF'. But before the young auror could respond, the lift door opened. And there was Marcus, scowling at them
"What are you doing here?" He snapped as he got out of the lift.
"Dropping this off for our dear father…" She replied.
"I'll take it." Marcus said as he snatched the bag from her. She did not care, she got what she came for. They continued to stare at each other, arms folded.
"Do I need to call security, or are you going to get out of here?" Marcus finally asked.
"I'll walk you out". Roberts piped up. "We haven't quite finished talking about…" He continued but Claudia would not let him finish that sentence.
"Yes, Quidditch." She interrupted, before turning to Marcus.
"You must remember Roberts. He was on the Ravenclaw team. He would have played against you, before… You know." Claudia smirked. Marcus growled and walked away.
"What was that about?" Asked Roberts.
"He's still recovering from the fact I took his spot on the Quidditch team. Just the usual sibling rivalry." Claudia replied. She had to play it cool. If she told him that the person the aurors had been looking for was her brother, he would laugh. Or escort her right into St Mungo's.
"Anyway, if you need help with your application, let me know." Roberts said as they got out of the lifts into the atrium.
"Thanks." Said Claudia. She would not normally accept help but could make an exception on this one. This one was important.
Few weeks passed and the day of the dreaded garden party had finally arrived. Claudia went to pick up Julius from the front door and led him tentatively into the garden where her parents were already mingling with an array of relatives and acquaintances. Frederick shook Julius' hand.
"I know your uncle well… From the Ministry." He said. Claudia nearly burst out laughing. Right, from the Ministry.
"Good, pure-blood family." Frederick added.
"Like that matters…" Claudia muttered towards Julius. However, he ignored her.
"Thank you, Sir." He said to Frederick instead. Claudia did not understand. It was as if she imagined the whole conversation in his bedroom.
But having to watch Julius growl in front of her father was still not the worst thing about this stupid party. Not by a long shot. Cassandra was completely beside herself. She was dragging them around all the relatives.
"This is my daughter's boyfriend, Julius... Yes, the Nott boy... They are in Slytherin together... Don't they make a lovely couple..." The chatter was endless. Claudia was not entirely sure how much longer she would last before tearing someone's head off.
"What do you think about the hair?" Cassandra asked Julius as they moved across the lawn. Julius mumbles something incomprehensible.
"See? Even your boyfriend can't bring himself to say he likes it." Cassandra smirked, just as they reached the next cluster of acquaintances, and began to introduce them enthusiastically.
"If this goes on for much longer, I will have to break up with you." Claudia whispered to Julius. She was only half joking.
"Oh, come on. She's just happy for you." Julius replied.
"She's happy that she can show us off. She does not care how I feel… Can we please get out of here?" Claudia said.
They found an empty bench and sat down. Claudia pulled her legs close to her chest and scowled at Julius.
"Thank you, Sir… Why did you not say anything?" She asked.
"What would be the point? There is nothing I can actually do and I don't like upsetting people..." Julius shrugged. Claudia shook her head. She used to be like that, but not anymore. She did not get a chance to complain any further. She noticed Regulus walking up to them. He was beaming.
"Speaking of upsetting people." Claudia muttered. She had no patience for him lately. Especially not since the incident with Marcus.
"Why are you so happy?" Claudia snapped.
"Didn't you hear?" Regulus smirked.
"Hear what?" Asked Julius. Clearly, he had no idea what Regulus was talking about either.
"My brother's run away. Nobody knows where he is... He might be dead, for all we know." Regulus quipped. Claudia's stomach took a turn. He could not have. He had to be fine.
"Is he dropping out of school?" Claudia asked, as casually as she could. Regulus shrugged.
"Who cares? I think he did something really stupid and got expelled. Surprise, surprise…" He could barely contain his glee. Claudia could not bring herself to ask any more questions. She knew that Sirius was a tetchy subject with both of them and her head was too busy for an argument. But she could not stop thinking about Regulus' news for the rest of the party. Everything else just seemed so pointless in comparison.
"Not really surprising about Black, is it?" Asked Julius, as she was walking him out of the house.
"Ehm?" Claudia said mindlessly… "I guess not." She added, once she realised what it was that Julius had asked her.
"You used to be friends. Didn't you?" Julius asked. He tried to sound casual, but he was clearly anything but.
"Not really." Claudia shook her head. She did not really want to lie to Julius anymore. They were finally getting on! But if she admitted they used to be friends, she would have to say why they were not friends anymore… And she just could not do that.
"Good riddance, I say." Julius mumbled.
"Yeah." Claudia gave him a brief kiss and unceremoniously shut the door behind him.
She felt desperately anxious. Back at the end of term, she convinced herself that she wanted Sirius to be fine because he was her safety net. But of course, that was not the whole story. She told Sirius many times that she wanted him out of her life. She told herself the same. But now, that it was truly possible that she would never see him again, she felt differently. She was worried about him.
She agonised for hours whether she should write to him or not. Finally, she could not take it anymore and decided that she simply must find out what happened. She found the notebook that she got from Sirius at the bottom of the wardrobe and opened it. Her eyes rested on the old messages from Christmas.
"Claude, please. Don't be mad."
"Hope we can still be friends."
All it did was to remind her of what Sirius did. The notebook was back at the bottom of the wardrobe before you could say 'broken heart'. She could not believe she was yet again crying over him.
The night has done absolutely nothing to relieve Claudia's anxiety. She could barely eat anything for breakfast and struggled to keep her mind of Sirius for more than thirty seconds. Packing, reading, even going for a run. Nothing helped. She still needed to go to Diagon Alley to buy the last bits and bobs for school. If that did not help, nothing would. Claudia threw on some clothes and run down the stairs.
"Where are you going dressed like that? What even are these?" She heard her mother's voice coming from the sitting room. Claudia sighed and turned around.
"These are shorts, mother." She replied defiantly.
"Short they are. Go back and put a dress on. You are not a boy or a muggle…" Cassandra barked. Last year, Claudia would have gone up. She would throw on a dress over what she was wearing and left. But not anymore. She was done hiding from them who she was.
"No." She said, resolutely.
"What do you mean, no? What will people think?" Cassandra screamed.
"I really don't care." Claudia said as calmly as she could, run towards the door and slammed it behind her. She knew there would be hell to pay when she got back home. But who cared anymore? Her parent's house was hell to her even when she did try to behave.
She was just so sick and tired of her mother trying to turn her into the daughter she wanted. The pretty dresses, the jewellery, the pointless socialising. It was all awful. Why could they just not accept her for who she was? Claudia. The person who liked potions, Quidditch and being left alone. She hated being pigeonholed as some stupid girl. Hated it.
Claudia was still seething when she arrived in Diagon Alley. At least, it took her mind of worrying about Sirius for a while… Just as she thought about him again, she spotted James Potter standing in the street. He looked back to his usual self and was checking out a group of girls in front of the ice cream parlour. Claudia could not hold her anxiety in any longer. She needed to know whether Sirius was ok. If anyone knew, it would be James.
"Potter!" She shouted across the street and set off towards him. James turned around and looked at her sceptically.
"What on Earth do you want from me?!" He asked. Arrogant idiot, Claudia thought but let it go. She looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear.
"Is he OK?" She whispered. It took James a moment to realise what Claudia was talking about.
"That's always been difficult to judge… In what way is he meant to be OK?" James smirked. Claudia rolled her eyes.
"Do you know where he is? Is he alive?" She asked pointedly.
"Why don't you ask him yourself?" James replied, looking over her shoulder. Claudia turned her head to see where he was looking and saw Sirius walking towards them.
"What are you two talking about? Don't tell me. Some stupid Quidditch feud…" Sirius said, as he got near them. Claudia could tell that his heart was not really in the joke. He seemed almost haunted and was looking at her nervously.
"If I thought that Slytherins had hearts, I'd say she was worried about you, mate." James smirked.
"Go away, James." Sirius said sharply. James rolled his eyes and disappeared down the street.
Claudia had no idea where to look. This was so awkward.
"Regulus said you were expelled." That was all that she eventually managed to get out of her.
"Sorry to disappoint you. Been disappointing a lot of people lately... Just here for my textbooks." Sirius replied. Still looking like he was getting ready to be yelled at again.
"Don't be stupid. I wouldn't want you to get expelled." Claudia said, shaking her head.
"I thought you'd be delighted." Sirius sneered. "Since you said you wished me dead…" He added glumly. Claudia felt little guilty, so looked away.
"You should know better than to take me seriously when I'm angry." She whispered. There was more awkward silence.
Claudia finally summoned enough courage to look at him again. Sirius raised the tiniest of smiles. His eyes were still sad though.
"Where are you off to? I'll come with you… If you want." He said.
"Quality Quidditch Supplies." Claudia smiled back at him. Sirius rolled his eyes. She was starting to get the impression that he did not much like Quidditch. But he set off towards the shop with her anyway.
"Regulus also said that you've run away." Claudia continued. Sirius sighed.
"Yeah. That bit is true. I'm staying with James. I couldn't take it anymore..." He paused and gave Claudia another sad smile. "You know what it's like." He added quietly.
"Yeah, I know." Claudia whispered, looking to the ground. There was no need to say more than that.
"How has it been?" Sirius asked.
"I've been away with Eleanor and her parents for a couple of weeks. That was good." Claudia shrugged.
"Muggle holiday?" Sirius piped up. He looked genuinely jealous. Claudia nodded.
"Mother is regretting it already. Apparently, I look like a muggle boy now." She said, imitating her mother's mannerism and pointing at her head.
"I think the hair suits you. It's very you." Sirius said, just as they got to the door of the shop.
"Are you coming in?" Claudia asked, pushing the door open.
"No chance." Sirius chuckled. It was good to see him even little happy again.
"I'll see you at school then." Claudia said and she was gone before Sirius could reply.
She wondered around the shop aimlessly for good half an hour. She had forgotten completely what it was that she needed, but she did not care. Sirius was fine and that was all that mattered.
Claudia did not want to go home that afternoon. She knew her mother would still be livid, and she wanted to enjoy her good mood for little bit longer. So, she walked. It took her nearly two hours to get to Hampstead from Diagon Alley. But it did not matter. The longer it took, the less time she would have to spend with them before going back to Hogwarts tomorrow. By the time she got back, it was well after dinner. Claudia got half-way up the stairs and thought that she got away with it. But she was wrong.
"Are you going to apologise to me? For what you said? For missing dinner?" Cassandra screeched, as she emerged from behind a corner.
"In your dreams." Claudia smirked. Cassandra took few quick steps towards Claudia, grabbed her by the hair and pulled with all the force she had.
"Used to be easier with the ponytail, didn't it?" Claudia said through gritted teeth, determined not to show just how much pain she was in.
"You insolent little bitch." Cassandra hissed and raise her hand to strike Claudia across the face. But this time, Claudia was quicker. She grabbed her mother's arm and twisted it. Cassandra winced with pain.
"I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore." Claudia hissed in Cassandra's face. Cassandra did not say anything. She looked horrified. "And don't even think about using magic to hurt me. You have no idea how much stronger I've gotten. I'd burn this fucking house down and I don't care if they expel me." Claudia added.
She did not even realise it until now. She was half an inch taller than her mother. And much stronger. She was not going to let Cassandra take out her insecurities and anger on her. Not anymore.
Claudia let go of her mother and slowly backed into her room. Cassandra did nothing. She just stood there. Still processing what just happened. Claudia bolted the door and pushed the dresser against it. It would not hold out for long, if they really tried to get in but it was as good as she could do without using magic. Claudia sat down on her bed, wand in hand, waiting. But no one came. Not after ten minutes or an hour. So, she got up and began to pack for school. She was still shaking. She never stood up to her mother like this before and had no idea why. It was suddenly so easy.
Claudia was nearly done emptying the contents of her wardrobe into her school trunk, when she stumbled upon the notebook she got from Sirius. Instantly, her hands became steadier. If he could stand up to his parents, she could do it too. She run her fingers on the binding and placed the notebook carefully in her trunk. She did not realise just how much she missed him. Not until she thought that he was gone, and she may never see him again. Maybe she could forgive him. Maybe she could be his friend after all.