Warning: some underage drinking a implicit sexual content (there will be more of it from now on, so consider yourselves appropriately warned)

Christmas in Winchester

Over the next couple of days, Claudia began to resent spending time in the Slytherin common room. Emmanuel would not speak to Claudia at all. It was clear that Julius had told him about the breakup before he left for America. And Regulus was so obviously ignoring her that it was almost laughable.

Claudia had always felt sorry for Regulus. For the first three or four years in Hogwarts, he was a quiet and studious kid, whose only desire was for his older, and much more popular, brother to notice him and be his friend. But then, something had changed. As if Regulus started to do everything he could, just to step out from Sirius' shadow. He became the school's star seeker. He started hanging out with Marcus and his gang. The shyness was all gone. Regulus became much more confident, and frankly, annoying.

Sirius' letter was just the last straw. Claudia could not quite believe that it was Regulus' meddling that contributed to her misery over the last year. Sure, Sirius had panicked at the mere thought that his mother might approve of his choices. She knew that he was entirely to blame. But it did not stop Claudia's growing resentment towards Regulus. She sighed. Just why did he have to be such a good seeker. If he was not, she would have thrown him out of the team and be done with it.

And then, there was Severus. There were few times that she caught him looking at her with an evil smirk in his eye. Every time, he looked away the moment their eyes locked. It took all of Claudia's determination not to hex him. But she promised Dumbledore. The Headmaster was right. If there was a case against her father, she would not want to jeopardise it.

She could not wait to get more information out of Dumbledore. He did promise they would have a talk again. She waited for a note from him, but none came.

Instead, one day at breakfast, she got a different sort of letter altogether. One from her mother. Claudia sighed and began to read.

My darling daughter,

Your father and I have to travel overseas this winter. The plans are still moving around, so probably best if you stay in Hogwarts over the holidays. I know it is the right decision but still, I cried about it all night. I was so looking forward to spending time with both of my babies.

Professor Slughorn wrote to us about your accident. You cannot imagine how hard this has hit us. Your father has been especially worried about you. I hope the scars heal soon. It would be so tough for a girl to live her life disfigured like that.

Your loving mother.

PS. If you need anything, write to your Aunt Jutta.

Claudia was disgusted by what she just read. How can her mother continue to pretend like nothing had happened in the summer? Like the last interaction they had was not Claudia finally standing up for herself after years of hurt. Every letter she got from Cassandra since the start of term was like this. The hypocrisy was infuriating!

"Typical. All she cares about is herself." Claudia hissed as she crumbled the letter and threw it across the table. Alice picked it up.

"Did you want to go back?" She asked, as she skimmed the parchment.

"Of course not." Claudia shook her head. "But I don't particularly want to stay here either. Everyone in Slytherin is either trying to kill me, or at the very least wishes I was dead."

"I would stay." Alice sighed. "But it's probably my grandma's last Christmas. I can write to mum and dad, see if you can come too. But it's not going to be a happy trip."

"Don't worry about it." Claudia replied. "Eleanor said I can come to hers, but I need permission from my parents in any case. Permission, which I'm not going to get." Claudia resumed eating her dinner, which was now getting rather cold and tasted even less appealing. "So, I guess I'm stuck here." She sighed.

Claudia could sense that someone dropped to the chair next to her. She looked up and saw Sirius.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop." He began, looking around to make sure no-one was listening to them. "But you cannot stay here by yourself." He added, with a frown.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Claudia mumbled and continued to poke her food about.

"I'll stay…" Sirius said and paused. "If you want me to." He added, uncertainly.

"And miss your first ever Christmas with a family that you actually like?" Claudia asked him, shaking her head. "I could never ask you to do that. I'll be fine."

Sirius looked far from convinced and was about to argue with Claudia, but Alice spoke first.

"Is there really no way for you to get to Winchester? Could Slughorn give you permission? Or Dumbledore?" She asked.

"I doubt it." Claudia sighed. "They aren't going admit that this bloody school isn't safe, are they?"

"Is this from your mother?" Sirius asked and grabbed the crumbled letter, suddenly looking closer to his usual cheerful self. Claudia could not bring herself to speak and merely nodded.

"I'll take this." Sirius added, shoved the letter in his pocket and squeezed Claudia's shoulder. "It's going to be fine. I have an idea." Claudia gave him a brief smile, just before he run off.

"What's that about?" Alice asked, as they both watch him leave the Great Hall.

"My ticket out of here." Claudia said dreamily, remembering Sirius' talent for forgery. Her eyes followed him until he vanished from view.

"What happened with you two in the hospital wing?" Alice interrupted her train of thoughts.

"Fancy a walk?" Claudia sighed. There was no point keeping it to herself anymore. She needed all the advice she could get.

"What's up?" Alice asked as they reached the courtyard. Claudia could not bring herself to say anything, so instead, she handed over Sirius' letter. She had been carrying it around since the day she got it.

"I know what you're going to say." Claudia sighed when Alice looked up at her after finishing the letter.

"No, you don't…" Alice whispered.

"What were you going to say, then?" Claudia asked, somewhat defensively.

"What I was going to say was..." Alice began. "About bloody time."

"Really?" Claudia gasped. She could not quite believe the words coming out of her best friend's mouth. Alice had never been a big fan of Sirius and Claudia was certainly expecting her friend to try and talk her out of doing anything stupid.

"You two practically are in a relationship already. Admitting it would do both of you good." Alice chuckled. Seeing a rather sceptical look on her best friend's face, she continued. "If you don't believe me, then answer me this. Who is your favourite person to study with?"

"That doesn't mean anything." Claudia began to protest. "The Alchemy thing was not my doing... And I know you don't believe me, but he's just so clever. It's nice not having to explain anything."

"Who is the first person you go to when you have a problem?" Alice asked another question, smirking and looking rather pleased with herself.

"He's really resourceful." Claudia replied. "Always got something up his sleeve. There is nothing more to it."

"Last question." Alice said, and her smile briefly disappeared from her face. "Who knows most of your secrets?" She added in a somewhat disappointed tone. Clearly, their argument was forgiven but not quite forgotten.

"He never judges me." Claudia whispered, staring firmly at her shoes. "Never expects me to be someone I'm not."

"I really thought it was just some dumb crush." Alice began to say and put her arm around Claudia's shoulders. "But you clearly love him." Alice paused. "And he loves you." She added, as she slowly passed Sirius' letter back to Claudia.

"It's just a letter…" Claudia laughed nervously. Hearing these words coming out of Alice's mouth suddenly made her feel very self-conscious. "And he couldn't have written it without the potion." She added.

"You haven't seen him in the hospital wing. He was sitting by your bed for two days, making sure you were still breathing." Alice paused, as if she was weighing up whether to say more. "He was in tears…"

"He wasn't." Claudia just about managed to utter. She could not even imagine what it would be like to see Sirius cry.

"Yes, he was. He clearly loves you." Alice whispered. "You are both just torturing yourselves staying apart like this."

"It's just…" Claudia stuttered. There was a rare moment of emotional lucidity. "I'm scared. I don't think I'd survive a repeat of last Christmas."

"It's good to be scared, I think." Alice said.

"How could it be good?" Claudia smirked.

"Because it shows you love him." Alice said patiently. When she saw that Claudia was not convinced, she continued. "How would you feel if you and Julius broke up?"

"Oh. We did. Sort of…" Claudia mumbled.

"When was this?" Alice asked.

"Few days ago. Just before he left." Claudia shrugged. Alice was shaking her head and, despite this being by far the most serious conversation they ever had, looked like she was about to burst out laughing.

"What?" Claudia growled, expecting a more sympathetic reaction from her best friend.

"I just don't understand how you don't get it." Alice chuckled. "You dated this poor guy for six months. You slept with him, I presume?" Claudia shrugged, leaving Alice under no illusion that she was right. "And you don't seem at all rattled that you broke up? Not a single tear?" Alice added.

Claudia shrugged again. She did not know what else to do. So, Alice continued.

"You kissed Sirius once and went into homicidal rage for six months when he said that you should go back to being friends." She said.

"Are you saying I should date him because he drives me up the wall?" Claudia sneered.

"I'm saying that it's ok to be scared of having your heart broken." Alice rolled her eyes. "It shows your heart is actually in it."

Claudia stared at her best friend for some time. Then, she lowered her eyes and began fiddling with a button on her coat.

"I hate feeling vulnerable." Claudia sighed. "All my life, I needed to be strong. Not to let myself feel too much. This goes against everything I know."

"I know." Alice whispered and squeezed Claudia tighter. "But being strong is about overcoming your fears, not hiding from them."

"I can't do this, Alice." Claudia whispered. Alice smiled at her and gave her a hug.

"You can. You're the strongest person I know." Alice whispered back. Claudia chuckled. She may have not believed Alice, but it was nice to hear anyway.

Few days later, Professor Slughorn told her that he did indeed got a letter from Claudia's 'mother', allowing her to spend Christmas with Eleanor in Winchester. And before she knew it, Claudia found herself on the Hogwarts Express.

As she watched the countryside run past the window of the moving train, she wondered why she was not happier about spending time at Eleanor's. She closed her eyes and saw the Christmas feast in Hogwarts. Sirius was sitting next to her, laughing. Oh, that was why. She would have loved for them to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays together. With Julius out of the picture, and her talk with Alice, Claudia could feel her resolve to keep her feelings in check rapidly disappear.

But she did not have to wait long before her disappointment was replaced by excitement. When they got to Eleanor's house, there were two envelopes on the side table in the hallway. One addressed to Eleanor and one to Claudia, or rather 'Claude'. There was only one person who called her that. Claudia's heart skipped a beat, as she ripped the envelope open. In her hand was an invitation to James Potter's New Year's Eve party.

"Did you know that James lived in Winchester?" Claudia asked Eleanor, as she skimmed the address.

"I thought I've seen him around town. But I thought I was just going crazy." Eleanor giggled and turned the invitation in her hand. "My parents are going to stay with my aunt for New Year's. I thought we might have a small party here."

"Or we could go. Save you the preparations." Claudia said, desperately trying not to sound too eager. "Save us the cleaning."

"That settles it." Eleanor laughed. "Neither of us is seventeen yet and I'm not cleaning up after a party the muggle way."

"Eleanor!" Mrs King shouted from the kitchen. "Show Claudia into the guest room. We'll be eating in ten minutes." Eleanor did as she was told and led Claudia into a small room on the ground floor.

"It's not much." She whispered as she flicked the lights on. "But I thought you'd prefer it to sharing."

"It's perfect." Claudia smiled. "Thank you."

Eleanor left her to unpack, but that was the last thing on Claudia's mind. She picked up her two-way notebook.

"You could have said that you were also in Winchester." She wrote.

"But then, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" A response appeared almost instantly. "Do I need to forge anything else to make sure you can come to the party?" More of Sirius' handwriting appeared. It made Claudia laugh. Her suspicions were right.

"I'll be there." She wrote and moved her hand as if to write more but froze. She had no idea how to do any of this. The flirting, the cute messages, the dating. It was all way above her social skills. "What are your Christmas plans?" She added, cringing about how lame that was.

"We're going skiing in Switzerland but will be back here after Boxing Day." Sirius replied. Claudia remembered something she saw on TV in France in the summer. People hurling themselves down mountains on some wooden sticks. She was sure that what skiing was. It looked stupid and dangerous. She could definitely see James and Sirius enjoying it.

"Provided you survive the skiing..." She wrote and paused again. "Want to hang out at some point? Before the party?" She added, her hand shaking.

"Sure." Sirius replied. "And if I don't survive the skiing, I'll show you around Winchester as a ghost." Claudia chuckled. Sirius' ghost would give even Peeves run for his money.

But Sirius did survive the skiing and they met in town, few days after Boxing Day. They browsed a records store together. They had some tea in a shop full of old ladies who spent the whole time whispering about them, just loud enough that everyone could hear. They would have gone somewhere else, but everything was shut and the whole town was being drowned in torrential rain. So, the gossip went on. Sirius could have been such a handsome young man if his hair were not so overgrown. Claudia was dressed like a street urchin. They both should have better manners.

"This is just like one of my mother's parties." Claudia whispered.

"Speaking of which." Sirius chuckled, produced a small package, and handed it to Claudia. "Merry Christmas."

A badge fell into Claudia's hand.

"Blood-traitor and proud?" She read out the tiny writing on the badge. "Did you make this?" She laughed.

"I did indeed." Sirius chuckled some more. "Everyone thinks I'm being childish, but I thought you'd appreciate them." He took the badge out of Claudia's hand and pinned it on her jumper. Their faces were basically touching.

Claudia saw in his eyes that he wanted desperately to kiss her. She did know what that felt like. But instead, Sirius slowly pulled away. He promised to give her time and was sticking to it. Claudia was never more annoyed at anyone for keeping to their word. But not quite as annoyed as she was at herself was being such a coward and not kissing him herself.

"Erhm. Erhm." The owner cleared her throat. She was standing right by their table. "We're closing now." She said and dropped the bill in between them. Claudia looked at her watch. It was late and she promised she would be back at the Kings' house for dinner. They paid for the tea and run towards the bus stop as fast as they could. It was late, cold, and raining. Claudia just about managed to jump on the last bus that was going in the direction of Eleanor's house.

"I'll see you at the party." She shouted at Sirius through the closing door. He waved and smiled at her. She watched him standing there, being drenched in rain.

"This is so stupid." Claudia whispered under her breath. She made a promise to herself. Next time she saw him, she was going to kiss him.

With that promise in mind, Claudia barely managed to get through the next few days. Finally, it was New Year's Eve. Eleanor's Hufflepuff friends descended on the Kings' house just after lunch. They all went up to Eleanor's room at about three o'clock to start getting ready for the party. Claudia thought that was ridiculous, as they were not due to leave for another four hours. So instead, she set off for town.

She found a bookshop that was still open. Normally, she would have loved looking at muggle books but today, something – or rather someone – else was on her mind. All she could manage was to aimlessly browse through the history section. Claudia stumbled upon a familiar volume. It was the book on French Resistance that Eleanor lent her in the summer. The book that shook her to the core. The book that made her realise that she wanted Sirius on her side more than she wanted to be mad at him. Claudia picked up the book and made her way to the tills.

"Is it a present, dear? Do you want it wrapped?" The shopkeeper asked, as Claudia handed her some muggle money.

"Please." She whispered.

Claudia got back to the house just after six, put on some fresh clothes and went to join Eleanor and her friends.

"You aren't going dressed like that." Eleanor chuckled when she saw Claudia enter her room. "It's a party. Not a Quidditch game."

"What?" Claudia protested. "I even put on a blouse. Give me some credit!"

Eleanor laughed and went to rummage through her wardrobe. She picked up a black piece of fabric and threw it in Claudia's direction.

"Is this a belt?" Claudia asked sarcastically, as she unwrapped the fabric and held it in front of her eyes. But before she could say anything else, Eleanor threw a pair of tights at her.

"Just put it on." She giggled.

Few minutes later, Claudia was looking at herself in the mirror. She could barely remember the last time she voluntarily wore a skirt. But even she had to admit it looked alright.

"What's your shoe size?" Eleanor shouted in Claudia's direction as she dived into a box full of high-heeled shoes.

"Absolutely not." Claudia said resolutely and began putting her trusted ankle boots back on. "I'm drawing a line at the skirt." Eleanor rolled her eyes but relented.

Finally, at seven o'clock, all the girls were ready, and it was time to go. Claudia's suggestion that they should walk there was summarily vetoed and not ten minutes later, the girls were all climbing out of a taxi in front of a large, detached house.

They pressed the bell and within seconds, the front door flew open and James Potter's face appeared in the door frame. The girls began to trickle inside.

"Gate-crashing, Avery?" He asked sarcastically when it was just Claudia who was left standing outside. Claudia rolled her eyes, but James continued. "I want to see an invitation. Otherwise, you aren't coming in."

"Fine." Claudia said defiantly and began to rummage through her pockets. But she did not have to. Sirius had appeared behind James.

"Don't be a prat, mate." He said and put his arm around his best friend's shoulders. "I invited her."

"You did what?" James barked. "Why would you do that to me?"

"It's just Quidditch…" Sirius began to say, but Claudia interrupted him.

"Do you two think I could come in? It's bit chilly here." She said through gritted teeth.

James muttered something under his breath and disappeared. Claudia could finally step inside the house. She reached into her pocket and handed the wrapped book over to Sirius.

"Merry Christmas." She muttered.

Sirius torn open the packaging and looked at the cover somewhat bewildered. Muggle history probably was not his first choice of literature.

"Read it and you'll get it." Claudia smiled at him.

"Sirius!" Someone shouted from across the hallway. It was his other friend Remus. "James's asking whether you can go and get the beer from the cellar." When Sirius did not move, Remus continued. "It sounded rather urgent."

"James's such a child when it comes to Quidditch." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'll catch you later."

"He hates me, doesn't he?" Claudia quipped.

"He hates the Slytherin Quidditch captain." Sirius replied. "It has very little to do with you."

"You better go, then." Claudia laughed. "Before he explodes with jealousy."

"See you around." Sirius chuckled. "And thanks for the book." He added uncertainly.

Claudia took off her coat and made her way towards the sitting room. It certainly looked like half of Hogwarts were there. There was butterbeer, dancing and lot of loud conversations.

The whole thing was awkward. Every time Sirius managed to find her in the crowd, someone dragged him away on an urgent errand.

One by one, all of Eleanor's friends left, until it was only Claudia and Eleanor left. Suddenly, Claudia felt a weak tap on her shoulder. It was Eleanor with a huge grin on her face.

"I know the others have already gone and we were supposed to walk home together." She said, pausing to giggle. "But Ian wants to walk me home. Are you going to be ok?" She asked, hopefully. Claudia nodded and leaned over to Eleanor.

"Of course." She whispered. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Eleanor laughed and disappeared back into the crowd.

Claudia was left there alone. She looked around. Sirius was playing the piano now. His friends were singing. Claudia sat down in an armchair and watched him from a distance. He kept glancing at her, but the crowd kept him busy. Every time he looked like he wanted to finish playing and come talk to her, a different girl begged him to play another song. Claudia hated how obvious these girls were. She hated how easy it was for them, just to walk up to him, flirt with him, touch him. Why could she not be like that too? It was infuriating.

Grumpy and tired, Claudia decided to make her way home. There was no point staying. There were just so many people and she was never going to get a chance to talk to Sirius. Let alone kiss him like she had hoped.

Claudia went to the hall to look for her coat. As she was trying to find it in the pile, she heard footsteps behind her. She turned around and saw Sirius leaning casually against the wall.

"Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?" He asked with a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"You looked busy." Claudia said, just little too sharply, unable to hide her jealousy. That seemed to have cheered Sirius up.

"Want to dance?" Sirius asked and outstretched his hand. Claudia was still annoyed but took it.

"Not really." She said, grumpily. She could barely remember the last time she danced and was in no mood to embarrass herself.

"Beer?" Sirius tried something else.

"Hate it. It's way too sweet." Claudia replied. Still frowning, but ever so slightly less.

"I've got muggle beer. You'll like it." Sirius smiled at her.

"Are you an authority on what I like?" Claudia smirked.

"Come with me." Sirius said and dragged her into the kitchen. It was full of people. Sirius got two bottles from the very back of the fridge and opened them.

Claudia took a sip. The muggle beer was cold, bitter, and just lovely. She broke into a smile.

"Ha!" Sirius laughed. "I knew you'd like it."

They sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. Sirius was chattering in Claudia's ear, but her mind was elsewhere. She was painfully aware that she could feel their knees touching, their hips, their shoulders.

"Did you really mean it?" She whispered, peeling the label of her beer bottle. "What you said in the letter?"

"Almost everything." Sirius whispered back.

"What do you mean almost?!" Claudia sat up straight and moved away. Her heart was practically in her throat.

"I can't stand being just your friend." Sirius whispered with a wry smile. "It's killing me."

"Why are you like this?" Claudia exhaled and closer her eyes. Her heart slowly descending to its rightful place. Her pulse returning to normal.

Sirius shuffled closer to her.

"I think you like me because I am this way." He whispered in her ear. She could feel his hair tickling her neck. His breath on her cheek.

"Sadly, you're right..." Claudia whispered back and reached out for his hand. Their fingers intertwined.

"Let's get out of here." Sirius said, pulled Claudia up and they slipped out of the kitchen.

They made it as far as the hallway when Sirius drew Claudia closer to him. He let go of her hand, run his palms up her arms and over her shoulders, until he reached the back of her neck. Her arms now free, Claudia placed them on his chest.

They kissed. It was just as she remembered from last Christmas. Just as she replayed in her head thousands of times.

Claudia heard someone shout. Their voice was becoming stronger and stronger. Sirius shuffled them both few steps towards the wall, reached behind Claudia's back, and opened a door. They stumbled into a dark room, still kissing.

"Incendio." Sirius muttered between the kisses, and sparks flew out of the end of his wand and lit the fireplace.

"Sorry, it's bit messy here." He muttered.

"You should see my room." Claudia quipped as they both dropped onto Sirius' bed, still in an embrace.

Sirius lowered one of his hands. He brushed Claudia's shoulder, then her waist. He continued until he reached Claudia's thigh. She exhaled with a little moan and slipped her hands under Sirius' t-shirt.

"Are you sure you don't want more time to think about it?" Sirius whispered and run his fingers higher and higher up Claudia's leg and under her skirt. She looked at him and saw his usual devilish grin.

"For once in your life, just shut up…" Claudia whispered, as his fingers reached the edges of her underwear. "And lock the door."

Claudia kissed him again and helped him to get rid of his t-shirt. Sirius found his wand between the covers and waved it in the direction of the door. As Claudia heard the lock click, she started to unbutton her blouse. Sirius grabbed her hands in his and slowly moved them away.

"My job." He uttered in Claudia's ear and undid the first button. She could feel his fingertips moving down her chest. He caressed her bare skin with every button he opened. Once he undid the last one, he slowly and gently slipped the fabric down from Claudia's shoulders, and run his finger across her scars.

Claudia did not mind the scars. Without them, they would not be here. They would both still be sulking and pretending that what they felt for each other was not real.

She looked up at him and, for a fraction of a second, saw a flash of pure hatred in his eyes. She knew he would jinx whoever harmed her in a heartbeat. Or worse.

Almost instantly, however, the hatred was replaced by yearning again. Sirius lifted Claudia's bra strap with his little finger and scooped it off her shoulder. She could feel goosebumps forming all over her body.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one with a goosebump problem." Sirius whispered in her ear and softly kissed her neck. There were lot more goosebumps.

"Is that what it was?" Claudia asked, remembering the tender moment between them in Hogsmeade.

"Obviously." Sirius chuckled and with one flick of his wrist, Claudia's bra flew to the floor. "I was just lucky that you know absolutely nothing about healing."

Claudia lifted herself onto her knees, pressed her now naked torso against Sirius' chest and kissed him.

Sirius closed his arms around her, leaned forward and lowered Claudia on the bed. He kissed her on her lips, on her neck, on her shoulder… Claudia shut her eyes. It was becoming unbearable. She wanted nothing more than to feel him inside of her.

With her eyes still closed, she found Sirius' belt and undid it. Sirius disappeared to the foot of the bed to get rid of his trousers, but he did not come back up. Instead, he took off Claudia's shoes, unzipped her skirt and slowly took it, and everything else she was wearing, down.

They were now both completely naked. Claudia's heart was beating so hard, she thought it might just jump out of her chest.

She could feel Sirius' hands running up her body again. First, her legs and torso. Then her arms. He interlaced his fingers with Claudia's and kissed her again. Any second now, she would just explode from desire. She wrapped her legs around him.

"Oh." Claudia sighed. Finally, she could feel him. She was as close to him as she was ever going to get.

Time had stopped.

Claudia looked deep into Sirius' eyes.

"I love you." She whispered. And she meant it. Suddenly, everything was clear to her. This was love. In its simplest, purest form.

"I love you too." Sirius whispered back and brushed his lips against hers.

Then, their bodies began to move as one, like this was the only place either of them was ever meant to be. It was just the two of them in this moment, and nothing else mattered.