AN: The moment has finally arrived! Beth's attack in the last chapter is pretty eye opening for Rick. I hope you all enjoy his inner turmoil. :) This is shifting for a slow burn to a slow smoulder.
Warnings: Underage romance!
Chapter Seven
Rick didn't think he had ever been this angry before. He wanted to smash Ben's twerp face in with his fist. And then when Allen tried to defend his son's actions, Rick knew that if he didn't get Allen and his son out of his sight he would slaughter them. Violently. With his axe. His strong, vicious reaction startled him, it let his mind clear enough to kick them out of the group and restrain himself from any physical reaction. Thank god Morgan and Sasha supported his decision, because Rick didn't know how long he could have held back his violent urge to use his hands to break Ben.
Rick took a deep breath and watched Tyreese escort Allen and his family back up the stairs and Morgan following them. Duane and Sasha were kneeling next to Beth asking her questions, Beth having a concussion was a real possibility as Rick could clearly see blood on the concrete wall where Beth's head made impact. Rick also felt angry with himself. He was supposed to protect Beth. He swore to himself the day he met those two men from Philadelphia and saw how they looked at Beth that as long as he was alive and breathing, he would never let anything happen to her. Rick could still remember the sick look of lust on the fat one Tony's face while Beth looked on fearfully. And now here Rick was looking down at Beth while Sasha probed the tender flesh of Beth's cheek, he could tell that her skin was preparing to bloom into an ugly bruise.
"We should carry her up to one of the bedrooms so she can get some rest," Sasha said as she looked up at Rick.
Rick nodded and bent down next to Beth to pick her up. Beth clung to him and Rick's heart ached at the sight of her dizzy with pain. He followed Duane and Sasha up the stairs and then again up the second floor. There were three bedrooms, Sasha led them to the master bedroom and ripped off the dusty comforter so Beth could lie on the relatively clean sheets. Rick retreated from the room after he set her down.
He went back down the main floor and stood watching Morgan and Tyreese see off Allen. Tyreese had given Allen keys to the small Chevy Blazer they had picked up not long after they joined the group. Rick didn't care about the supplies that Allen was taking, he just wanted them gone. His hands were still now, no longer shaking in anger, and Rick was wary of his own awful thoughts that he had towards the banished man. He felt a bit guilty, sending them off into the unknown with hardly any protection but at the same time Beth was his priority. She didn't have family like the others did, she had no one looking out for her best interest except Rick. Rick wanted to keep everyone in the group safe, but he felt more protective over Morgan, Duane and most of all Beth than he did the others. And Rick was very afraid of what he might have done if Allen and his son had been allowed to stay. The animalistic urge to beat Ben bloody had been so strong, so severe, and Rick was a bit afraid of what he was becoming.
Morgan and Tyreese came back into the house, Tyreese looked upset and sad while Morgan only looked satisfied, like he had taken out the trash.
"Thanks," Rick nodded.
"How's Beth?" Morgan asked.
"Sasha thinks she might have a concussion. We moved her up to one of the bedrooms."
"I'm sorry Rick, I never had any idea that Ben was capable of doing something like this," Tyreese said remorsefully. Despite Tyreese's intimidating size and looks he was really a big teddy bear.
Rick clapped Tyreese on the shoulder, "none of us did. I'm sorry I had to kick them out. But it's tough enough to keep the group safe from walkers I can't worry about what members of our own group will do too."
Tyreese nodded, "You don't have to worry about Sasha and me."
"I know," Rick let out a stiff smile.
They split up then, to make sure the house was still secure and to prepare to bunk down for the night. They might need to stay longer if Beth was too dizzy or disoriented. Rick also went looking for drugs, he was pretty sure they had ibuprofen. After he located the bottle he grabbed a bottle of water and then headed back up the stairs.
Sasha was waiting for him just outside the bedroom. She was glaring and as soon as Rick was beside her she hissed, "This is all your fault."
Rick blinked in surprise. Of course he blamed himself because Beth was his responsibility, but he was surprised by Sasha's vehemence so he only said, "What?"
"Beth is blaming herself, of course, but the fact is that none of this would have happened if you would just pull your head out of your ass."
Now Rick was really confused by Sasha. "What do you mean?"
"It's been six months since the world's gone to shit, your wife if probably dead, or moved on, and it's very unlikely we're ever going to find her, so stop jerking around Beth and commit to her."
Rick felt a flash of anger run through him at Sasha's comments about his wife, but his main emotion was still confusion. "Sasha, I really don't know what you're implying, but I'm not 'jerking around Beth'." Rick said firmly. Sure, he had his fair share of inappropriate thoughts about the young blonde, and they were becoming more frequent, but Beth was barely a woman.
Sasha studied him for a moment before speaking again, "You mean you really don't know?"
"Don't know what?" Rick asked impatiently.
"Beth's infatuation with you, I know I noticed it right away after we joined the group, and Morgan said she's been mooning over you since not long after you guys took her in." Rick felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut.
"That can't be true," Rick shook his head, "Jimmy was with us for weeks before he died. And… I'm twice her age. She's not… no." Rick couldn't wrap his head around Sasha's words. Beth liking him? No. Sure, she was grateful for everything he did for her, and they were close because they were the only two in the group without family. Rick couldn't believe that Beth actually desired him, she was seventeen and he was over twice that. "You're mistaken." Rick finished resolutely.
Sasha was looking at him in disbelief when he finally looked up at her again. "Wow. You really are clueless." Sash let out a small snort. "Here I was thinking you were stringing her along by being affectionate one minute and aloof the next."
"Hey, I've never let any… feelings for her control my actions. Until today."
"But you do have feelings for her." Sasha probed.
"I know they're inappropriate and I will never act on them." Rick said firmly.
Sasha shook her head. "Rick, she might be only seventeen but she's been through hell and had to grow up fast. She lost her entire family, she can kill walkers and she looks out for all of us like a mama hen. She's perfectly capable of consenting to a relationship with whomever she wants. And she wants you." Rick shook his head again. Beth could have anyone left in the world, no way she'd want a damaged guy like him. "Rick, I know she wants you because we talk about it. All the time. It may have started as a crush but she really, genuinely loves you."
And with that Sasha patted Rick's shoulder sympathetically and walked away, Rick watched her head down the stairs still at a loss. He shook his head again, trying to clear Sasha's words and pushed open the cracked door. Beth way lying on her side with her eyes closed and Duane was sitting in a chair that he must have pulled up next to the bed.
"Why don't you go get something to eat, I'll sit with Beth." Duane nodded and headed out. Rick collapsed into the chair and stared numbly at the bottle of pills and water in his hands.
He thought Beth was asleep and was startled when Beth spoke, "I'm sorry Rick."
"Beth! Here, I got some pills for your head. And water." Beth slowly eased into a sitting position against the pillows so she could take the pills. Rick watched her swallow them carefully. "Beth… you have nothing to be sorry about."
"Yes I do, you should have to make them leave because of me. Ben wasn't lying, it was my fault—"
"Beth, this wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was. I kissed Ben. I've been… I … I thought…" Beth struggled for the right words. "I didn't think I could ever have what I wanted so I thought I'd settle for Ben. But… it just felt wrong. It was just one kiss and when I tried to tell Ben I was sorry he just got angry and tried to force me."
"Just because you kissed him doesn't excuse his actions. And I wasn't letting that kid stay after that," Rick told her resolutely.
Rick could see the tears shining in Beth's wide, blue eyes and Rick wanted nothing more than to pull Beth into his arms to comfort her. But Sasha's words were running through his mind. She said that Beth loved him. That it wasn't a crush. Rick had to think about this. He'd been so ashamed of his desire for Beth because it was so inappropriate, but apparently both Sasha and Morgan knew and didn't care. And had Beth really been coming after him and he was oblivious? Rick sat and watched Beth slowly fall asleep. He thought about Lori. Their relationship had been deteriorating for years, they were both unhappy together, Lori was always looking to pick a fight with him and Rick had done his best to avoid her. He still cared about Lori, he wanted her safe and unharmed. He wondered how things would be if he had found them after he woke up from his coma. He wondered if their relationship would have improved or if they would have stuck together out of obligation and desire to keep Carl safe. He didn't know if he still loved Lori, they had been happy once upon a time, but Rick could barely remember how that felt.
And what did he feel about Beth? He desired her, yes, because she was beautiful inside and out. She was a bright, shining star in a desolate world. He lived for her smile. He felt protective of her and, as he learned today, would go to great lengths to keep her safe. He didn't doubt that he would kill for her, and not just strangers like Tony and Dave. Her presence soothed the deep ache he felt when he thought of Carl and his unknown fate. But he spent months now trying not to have feeling for Beth that it was too much now to face what he felt. So Rick sat and watched Beth rest and wondered what the hell he was going to do.
The week after Rick had kicked Ben and his family out of the group passed quickly and Beth still felt guilty. No one seemed to blame her, Rick and Sasha were adamant that it wasn't her fault. Even Tyreese, who missed his friends, took her aside and said it wasn't her fault. Duane was happy to be spending so much time with her again with Ben gone. And things were going so much smoother now that Allen's family wasn't there. The group fell back into their old routines with Sasha and Tyreese just making everything easier. It then made Beth feel even more guilty, because they were doing so well without them.
To distract herself from the incredible guilt Beth felt over the Ben Incident, she threw herself into her duties. Beth was pleased to be spending so much time with Rick again. He barely let her out of her sight now, and while Beth probably should have felt smothered by his constant presence she relished it instead. Rick was constantly watching her now with a speculative look on his face. Like he had figured something out and was wondering what to do about it. That made Beth a little nervous, she knew that Sasha and Rick had talked about something that night but her head had been too woozy and she hadn't been able to concentrate of what they were arguing about. But if Rick had figured out her feelings for him he didn't seem to be disgusted. So Beth didn't stop her affectionate nature with him. Now that they were constantly together she was frequently touching him for his attention, brushing up against him when she was following him, and tried her best to always have a smile for him.
One night when Tyreese was reminiscing how January used to be his favorite month because of football playoffs it gave Beth an idea for how the group could have some relaxing fun. Tyreese used to play for the Falcons in his twenties before a knee injury prevented him from returning to the field. Rick had been thrilled to learn Tyreese's history. Rick was apparently a huge Falcons fan and he had also played football himself in high school. Beth's plan would hopefully make both Rick and Tyreese happy. Tyreese had never been to the Super Bowl, nor the NFC championship, so Beth plotted a way to get a game going between their six group members. They had a football, Beth had collected the ball months ago for Duane. One night when Allen's family had still been with them, Duane had brought it out to toss around with Ben and Tyreese had taught them how to throw a spiral. Beth enlisted Morgan's help in finding a field. Schools were dangerous because more often than not they were converted to Red Cross shelters when the world first starting falling apart and now they were full of trapped walkers.
They were currently in a bigger town than they normally ventured into and on the edge of the town was the middle school. The school hadn't been used as a shelter, most likely a more centrally located school had been used instead. The athletic field was open, the tree line was far from the school grounds so no walkers would be able to sneak up on them, and even then Morgan planned to keep the vehicles close.
Morgan gathered the group for her in the middle of the football field, and they stood in a half circle facing Morgan. "Listen up, everyone, Beth has planned a surprise for everyone."
Beth stepped up to Morgan's side. She pulled out the football that she had stashed in her messenger bag and held it aloft. "I would like to announce the first ever Post-Apocalyptic Super Bowl!" Beth announced. Duane cheered, Tyreese grinned widely and Sasha laughed while she elbowed her brother. And Rick watched her with a small smile and an amused look in his eyes. "The rules are simple: touch tackling only and first team to three touchdowns wins," Beth thought keeping the game short would be best. She wanted the group to have fun but she also didn't want to attract any unwanted attention. "Teams are Tyreese, Duane and me versus Rick, Morgan and Sasha." Everyone shuffled for a moment until the teams were grouped together. Morgan pulled out a quarter from his pocket and handed it to Rick while Beth said, "heads, Rick's team plays the ball first, tails is ours."
Despite Tyreese being handicapped with the two youngest players he destroyed the competition with seven touchdowns before Rick's team finally got one before they ended the game. "C'mon Rick, I thought you used to play," Tyreese taunted when Beth ran her second touchdown past a grinning Rick. By the end they were worn out but full of smiles, despite the lack of sticking to the rules. Sasha at one point jumped on Tyreese's back but he still managed to throw a perfect spiral into Duane's open hands. Rick had even tackled Beth by scooping her up into his arms, both laughing and Beth refusing to yield.
The group happily and slowly trekked back to the vehicles. No walkers had been drawn in by their game but no one wanted to take any chances. Rick stopped Beth with a hand on her shoulder and she turned to face him curiously. "This was great. I think we all needed this." Rick wasn't smiling anymore but his expression was content and he looked at her like... like he wanted her. Beth's heart stopped.
The others were ahead of them, Duane was excitedly talking about the game and the others' attention was on the young teen and not on Rick and Beth lagging behind them. Rick's hand was warm on her arm through her shirt and she took a tiny step closer to Rick. The cold air was doing little to cool her heated skin. Beth's mind flashed back to during the game, when Rick had picked her up in his arms, how he had laughed low in her ear and his lips had brushed over her cheek.
Rick's blue eyes were staring into her intently. Beth felt light headed and she couldn't hear the others anymore, just her heart beating and Rick's breathing. "Beth..." Rick's voice was low again. He didn't say anything further but he leaned down into her space. Beth stopped breathing as Rick's lips, rough and chapped, gently pressed against hers. Beth blindly reached for Rick's shoulders, clutching her fingers into his shirt to steady herself.
But then Rick tensed and ripped away from her. Before Beth could protest, or let devastation wash over her, the world around her filtered back in and she could hear gunshots. They were distant, somewhere further into the town.
"We should help, someone could be in trouble," Tyreese spoke quietly.
Rick pulled Beth into his side as he closed the gap between them and the others. Beth was a jumble of confusing emotions. Rick had just kissed her and she wanted more. She wanted answers. Was that a one-time kiss? It didn't feel like a platonic, thank-you-for-making-us-stop-for-some-much-needed-fun kiss. It felt real. But now Rick was debating quietly with the others on how to best approach this possible threat and Beth couldn't concentrate. Not until Sasha touched her shoulder to grab her attention. Rick's plan won out, they would observe from a distance to see if there was a threat and then they would decide what to do. Rick's intense gaze burned into Beth as she nodded along with the plan. She had to take a deep, steadying breath to steady her nerves before following after the others.
AN: Ack! They kissed! And were interrupted! But by whom? Kudos to anyone who can guess ;)
Review please?