I do not own The Simpsons.
Enjoy!
Bart and Lisa enrolled in Cloister Academy much to the goverment man dismay.
The blow was especially worse when Lisa's results came in and she too was found to be a genius.
However Bart knew it would be a lie to say he didn't enjoy riding alongside Springfield yellow bus, in a fancy school bus with WiFi.
They were all settled in by Friday and spent the Saturday as a family.
As a family, they went to the cinema and had a picnic before going cycling together.
It was so nice not having to worry about money and they just could go out and have fun.
However the honeymoon period seemed to have ended by Sunday morning, because everybody was dressed up and not smiling.
It was time to go to church.
They got into the car.
However, all of them did not wear their usual church clothes because now they had far nicer clothes to wear so they chose to wear something a little more authentic to show they weren't from this planet.
There was also the fact that most of the town would be there, that they really wanted to start fresh with everyone.
Homer drove to the church, the same church he had been going to for the past 70 something years.
It looked even worse out of the simulation.
The sign was old and rusty and the gloom coming out the building was no joke.
He drove past it hoping Marge wouldn't notice however she did and gave him a look which forced him to back up and park nearby.
They got out of the car and the shield for the car came on before they began walking down the street and joined the rest of the people who were hardly smiling.
"Welcome" said Pastor Reverend Lovejoy seeing them.
They walked in, only for everybody to turn around and stare at them, not wanting to be deterred, they found seats, only to realise they had forgotten how ridiculously uncomfortable the tough wooden surface was on their behinds.
It was really impossible for them to try and sit down.
So Marge had no choice but to give approval for what Homer did next.
He zapped the bench and it turned into four luxurious chairs.
Everybody was shocked.
The Simpsons sat down, and the new chairs were bliss on their behinds.
The Reverand especially stared but he would give them a pass.
He walked up the stage and said. "Okay first off, I want to thank you all for coming especially our special guests from out of space"
The Simpsons suddenly had everybody and their mother turn to stare at them.
The level of uncomfortableness was through the roof.
"Anyway welcome, I'm sure today ceremony will be an eye opening experience" said the Reverand. "I would like you all to now rise and join me in the hymns"
They all rose, and the lyric sheets were given out.
The Simpsons tried their best to not come across as somebody who had sung this song an illegal amount of times before and tried to get a few words wrong like they would cut the word too short or it would be too long, just not being able to accurantly predict the next note.
It worked well because they were terribly out of sync with the whole building to the painful end, and than they were told to sit down and open their bibles to whatever they were doing today.
Everybody waited as the Simpsons tried to figure out how to use their bibles before the Flanders helped them out.
And than began the reading of the word of god.
People were put on the spot to read and than Homer was asked to read the next passage.
"I really shouldn't" he said.
"We insist" said the Reverand.
Homer noticed everybody looking at him
Well, here goes.
Unfortunately the fact that he didn't want to be here, brought out a completely emotionless tone as he read. "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
When Homer was finished he noticed everybody was staring at him with wide eyes.
What?
"Thank you for reading, Hoover" said Reverand making a mental note to never have anybody from that family read, again.
And than he started preeching to them from what they read.
Marge thought her husband looked strangely attentive to this when he was so against this before.
But than she noticed something faintly blue projected in her husband's pupils.
Wait a minute.
She looked through her husband ear hole to see a familiar glint.
"Hoover, are you seriously watching football right now?" She hissed in her husband's air.
And if Homer was standing, he would have tripped.
He was busted.
"Wait, dad's watching TV?" Said Bart, having heard. "Cool. I want to watch Game of Thrones. It's such a great show that theirs no way it can be ruined in the last season"
"I want to watch the nature channel" said Lisa.
Maggie sucked on a pacifier but wanted to watch her own program as well.
"Nobody is watching TV while the Reverand is talking" said Marge.
And that's when she noticed the room was silent and people were looking at her.
"I mean...I can't help but talk about how inspiring the Reverand talk is" said Marge. "Isn't that right, Family?"
"Ah, Amen" said Homer.
"Brilliant work" said Lisa.
"Praise Jesus" said Bart.
"I'm glad that your enjoying yourself but here on earth, people talk when it's clear nobody else is talking" said Reverand. "However you are free to talk to me after the service"
"Sorry" said Marge.
And than the man continued.
Marge saw Homer secretly watching Football again, she turned to see her kids had completely switched off and were secretly watching their own TV.
It was in that moment, Marge just gave up.
Not tied by American expectation, nobody in the family had any actual interest in paying attention to this and she herself would rather by at a clothing store than here right now.
So she used secret TV too.
The volume was low enough for the outside world to barely invade so that they could react on time, everybody else seemed to have thought of this as well.
When they expected to nodd, they did so, when they expected to shout 'praise Jesus' they did.
It's amazing how two hours can go by when your doing something you enjoy.
But the issue was, they looked too attentive.
They looked to be hanging onto the Reverend every word and taken it in, like it was the most important piece of information in the world.
Nobody could fault a person for thinking they were ready to take Jesus Christ into their heart on the spot.
So this why this happened.
"So what did you think of the service?" said Reverand Lovejoy as everybody either began to leave or stare at the alien family.
Marge gave her a husband a look.
"Wow...it was really amazing" said Homer. "I and my family havs never been through such a powerful sermon. I think I speak for everybody in my family that your words really spoke to our soul. Praise Jesus!"
"Yes, praise Jesus" said Bart and Lisa mumbling.
"That's wonderful" said Reverand Lovejoy. "I couldn't help but notice how attentive you all where. Would you like to know more? I and my wife would love to invite you over and discuss the word of god in more depth with you"
The words 'And get you ready to give your life to christ' was suddenly in the air despite nobody actually saying anything like that.
Marge spoke up and said. "That's an amazing offer but none of us has ever consumed some solid human food. We don't know what that would do to us."
In the corner of her eye, she could see her former sisters eyes go wide, as they realised this was genuinely her face now.
"Oh, excuse me than" said the Reverand. "I don't want to be the cause of souls going up to heaven too early." All of them laughed awkardly. "Well, than why dont we schedual a prayer meeting at the house after lunch? I can give you the address"
Silence.
"Reverand that would be amazing" said Homer. "But Christianity really isn't for my family and-" but then he shouted. "RUN! FAMILY! RUN BACK TO THE CAR!"
And Everybody didn't have to be told twice, even Marge felt like she had no choice but obey, they shoved past everybody and ran their way to their hovering car before getting in.
Homer sped off.
"Oh, god. How am I supposed to face the Flanders now?" Said Marge.
"Mom, you have nothing to feel guilty about." Said Lisa. "They clearly wanted to put their faith onto us. I used to attend church because I had to and it was a good learning experience to another religion."
"And now your religion is to serve a god who masscured a dozen people not that long ago" said Bart chuckling darkly. "Thank you, Master for the blood and guts you created to get us here. May you living long in a blaze of blood and gore. Amen"
"Bart!" Said Marge.
"What? I'm just praying like we were told to" said Bart. "You guys need to do your-SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER! STOP!"
Homer due to the sudden volume change, screech the car to a halt.
Everybody turned and saw an ugly dog coming out of trash can, it was covered in garbage, he was really thin and clearly had been living on the streets for the past 6 months.
He looked absolutely horrible.
Bart rushed out and said "Boy!"
The dog turned, it recognised Bart and was about to bark when it got a whiff of him.
It growled and suddenly showed it teeth.
Bart was shocked.
"Alberto! New body, new scent!" Said Lisa. "He most think your an imposter!"
"Buddy, it's me" said Bart.
However the dog lunged and Lisa manged to pull him back in, Homer stepped on it.
"Oh, my god. He could have mauled!" said Marge. "Who knows what kind of diasease and germs our dog picked up from being on the street"
"Mom, take me back" said Bart. "I know I can reason with him."
"If you go back. You'll die" said Homer. "Or you might end up killing it. I never liked the dog anyway."
And Bart wanted to say something, he wanted to scream, he wanted to jump out the car and run back.
Even if it was an illusion, that dog had been his companion for 31 years.
He refused to leave this alone.
He-
Suddenly Barts piples delluted and he was silent.
"Bart?" Said Marge.
"Yes, Mother" said Bart in an emotionless tone.
"Ooh...that doesn't sound good" said Homer.
They drove him home and put him on the chair, when they heard.
"Hello, my citizens" said Legion through the speakers. "Well, it looks like you have a crisis on your hands"
"Master, you know what this is?" Said Lisa.
"Of course I do" said Legion. "It's a failsafe to stop you from getting too emotional. Without it, your bodies would go on attack mode and kill everything in sight, and than you'll either explode or corrode away." Before he said. "Its been a long time since I, myself got emotional, woke up to find that I had masscured some unsuspecting planet. Good times"
This was the person they were supposed to pray too?
"Well, Master how long is Bart going to be like this?" Said Marge.
"He'll, stay like this until whats causing him distress is resolved or he forgets the problem" said Legion.
"That could take years because it's that dog" said Lisa.
"Is this really concerning? He can still function" said Legion.
"Master...humans are scared of those who are different" said Marge. "He already proven that he can show emotions, what do you think would happen if hes suddenly like this? Nobody would want to be friends with him and the next thing you know, hes in counciling and the counciler is writing down things that aren't there for a quick paycheck"
It was every good parents worse nightmare.
Bart can not go back to school like this.
"Well, in that case even though the human race continues to baffle me. Find a solution to his problem than" said Legion.
It's been so long and he had seen so many crazy things that what was abnormal was normal to him.
And than his voice dissappeared.
"So the boy wants the dog, eh?" Said Homer. "I know what would get a starving dog on your side immediantly"
Everybody looked at him only to see him stick his hand in something blue.
"What are you eating?" Said Marge.
"I don't know but it's delicious" he said.
# Scene Change#
The dog named Santa's little helper felt like he was going to collapse, it hadn't really eaten in months and the wounds it sustained were acting up again.
He missed them.
He missed his family.
He missed the large portion sizes that would fall from the table, he missed the warm air from being indoors, he missed the hugs and belly rubs.
They just upped and suddenly dissappeared from the house one day.
Where did they go?
Suddenly he smelt it.
The smell of rotten flesh and blood.
He growled, when he saw the people who had his families faces.
If they were going to take him, he was going to take as many as he could with him.
However, something nice and warm wrapped him.
Huh?
Suddenly he felt something nice brush his fur and warm air gently brushed against his fur like he was indoors.
Huh?
"Do you like that boy? I got something else"
And than something declious smelling was put before his eyes.
A prime steak.
The person backed away slowly as he sniffed for any poisonous scent, before using his teeth to eat it.
It was delicious, the best thing he had had in months.
Warm and fed, he started to relax, the person walked towards him slowly and than began to give him that familiar belly rub, rubbing all his weak spots with expertise since the person had done this a hundred times before and even scratching the one place behind his ear that only his family know about because nobody else really touched him.
Than it clicked.
They were his family.
He barked.
"Do you recognise me, now boy?" Said Bart.
But why did he smell like a corpse?
Did he die?
"Do you want to come back with us? You can eat as many stakes as you like and get as many belly rubs as you want" said Bart before he, got out something and sprayed over it over himself.
The terrible smell was gone and Bart smelled fresh.
That was all he needed, he lept onto Bart and licked him.
"Slow down boy" said Bart, his emotions were back, he clipped a new collar on his dog and took him inside the car.
The collar changed his appearence, now he to was blue, furrier, less long in the horse and fuller, he suddenly had three eyes and a purple tongue with two green antinera on his head.
They did this because looking like the Simpsons and owning that skinny Ugly dog was one concidence too many for people.
This way they can have him and not be found out.
Bart fed meatballs to the happy dog and stroked him.
"How did you know that would work?" Marge said to Homer.
"I know it would work because it would have worked on me" said Homer.
Sometimes being able to be as simple as an animal had its advantages.
Unfortunately nobody bothered to read the manual for the collar and within hours, their dog would make them realise that was a huge mistake.
And scene!