I do not own The Simpsons.
Enjoy!
"So, you want to request a day off to celebrate a holiday at your home planet, eh?" Said Mr Burns.
"I don't know how I'll say it in Earth language but it a very big holiday" said Homer, before telling the man what he wants to hear. "People are most likely going to go nuts over there, lots of property damage, people getting seriously hurt, lots of death. Kids beating each other up. Explosions. It's going to be a glorious mass"
"Good lord" said Smithers.
"Will there be animals dying?" said Mr Burns.
"Oh, yeah. Lots of animals dying" said Homer. "Our planet is ruled by a murderous tyrant that kills people. When there's a holiday, you can expect our planets population to naturally drop"
"Sounds wonderful" said Mr Burns, before he said to Smithers. "Smithers, approval this man's holiday time. Let him and his family have some fun." Before he said. "Oh, and schedual a dinner with this man when he gets back. I would love to hear all about the death and destruction he caused, if he makes it out alive."
"Yes, sir" said Smithers.
"Have fun" said Mr Burns.
"Thank you, sir" said Homer before he walked out of the room.
"Oh, I love that man" said Mr Burns.
Hearing that Smithers wasn't exactly pleased to hear that.
Homer went home and greeted his family with the good news.
"I just got approval for the vacation" he said.
"That's wonderful, Homer" said Marge giving him a kiss.
"The school already knows about the holiday" said Lisa. "So it won't be strange if we don't show up, in two days time."
Just than the news appeared on TV.
"This just in, Springfield local alien family is going back to their home planet to celebrate a holiday" said Kent Brockman.
"What the hell man, how does he know, already?" Said Bart.
"It doesn't matter." Said Legion voice. "Prepare to blast off"
"Wait, what?" Said Homer.
And that's when all of them suddenly felt very sleepy, even the dog flopped down and fainted.
The house was suddenly encased in a ball, like it was before and than it got lifted up like the first time they got here.
Those lucky enough to witness it, posted a video on the internet since the lift off was pretty slow.
When the Simpsons woke up, they woke up to sunshine breathing down all of their necks and threatening to cook them alive.
"Ah, what happened?" Said Lisa, getting up.
They all had a splitting headache.
"I need water" said Bart stumbling over to the kitchen sink, he splashed some water on his face before looked up.
Magically the headache was gone as he shouted. "HOLY COW!"
Everybody came to look.
What they saw, was essentially Springfield 30 years later in that simulation but everybody was still young and weren't complete failures in life.
Suddenly they heard the doorbell ring.
The barrier was down.
"I'll get it" said Homer.
And than he walked to the door and opened it, his eyes saw the love robots that Selma and Patty had in that simulation about the future.
"Hi, big brother" said the male.
Homer mouth understandably hung open.
Big brother?
"Hoover, who's at the door?" Said Marge.
"Can you let us in? We have all the meats, medium rare, rare and well done" said the female.
"Come in, family!" Said Homer loudly.
And both of them came in and this time it was everybody else but the dogs turn to be shocked and surprised.
"Wait, aren't you two Patty and Selma love robots who ran off together?" Said Marge
Both of them blinked at her before they burst out laughing.
"Sorry, but we'll never be love robots" said the man. "If I was made to love anybody other than my wife than I would have jumped off a cliff"
"And if I married somebody other than him, I would be fat and refuse to leave the house" said the woman, with open clevage, skimpy clothes and blue high heels that went to her thigh.
You could tell she was indeed Patty ideal design for a lover.
"And who is Patty and Selma?" Said the man. "Are those your new human friends that you made on Earth?"
Everybody was surprised.
"Yeah...something like that" said Marge.
"Anyway, we couldn't help but notice you were back, just in time for sa andwakab, tommorow" he said. "So we decided to drop by." Before he said. "We brought food"
"And presents" said his wife. "Lots and lots of presents"
The presents appeared in the room and the table was suddenly filled with home cooked food.
Homer dissappeared before all their eyes once the smell reached him.
"You better not be eating!" Said Marge.
"...Of course not Marge." came Homer off tone.
The kids found presents addressed to their new names and were very quick to open them.
Lisa squeeled when she saw it was the newest book from her favourite female author.
Bart gasped to see he had been given a cool alien blaster.
"Cool" he said, holding it up.
Marge was horrified when she saw it.
"No" said Marge taking it away from him. "No blasters in the house"
Marge spotted Maggie playing with a stuffed elephant that turned into a portal knife.
Marge was horrified and took that off her.
She than saw her husband with a blaster of his own and took that off him as well.
"No dangerous weapons in the house!" She said.
"But Carlieen" said Homer. "Were from a dangerous and voilent race. We're supposed to try and kill each other"
"He is right" said the woman.
"No, weapons in the house" said Marge firmly, before she eyed the other suspiciously.
Both of them felt uncomfortable before proceeding to take out the weapons in their pockets and handing it over to her.
Marge ignored the awe on both Bart and Homer faces seeing the giant cool weapons both of them got out.
She than proceeded to lock them up in a cabinet.
Thats when the doorbell rang again.
"I'll get it's" said the woman.
She opened the door and in stepped two fine lady's with blue hair and in great shape, they didn't smell of smoke but amazing perfume.
"Hi, Magie. Where our little sister, Carlieen?" said one of them.
They saw Marge and went up to hug her.
She was uncomfortable but they let go.
"Tell us all about your trip to Earth. We want to hear everything." Said the woman on the right before she saw the kids. "And look at the kids, my haven't you grown? Did you miss your Aunt Nicholi? Who wants some crushy fresh unhealthy candy?"
"Me!" All three of them said.
And than all of them were given the most delicious candy they had ever tasted, not at all old people's candy.
"Carlieen, we decided to drop by while our kids were at school and our husbands won't be back until tonight." said, Zena, the one on the left
"Wait, you two have families?" Said Marge.
"Of course we do" said Zena. "What do you take us for? Some sad middle aged pair of twins who critice others while also wondering why no decent man wanted to be in the same room as them?"
That was too on the nose for Marge's liking.
"By the way, what skin cream did you use on Earth? I love it" said Nicholi.
"Really?" Said Marge.
"You look 20 eons younger" said Zena.
Marge smiled even though she didn't know how age worked her, she knew it was a compliment and she had never been complimented so fast.
And than the door bell rang again and in came two sets of old people, but they weren't hunched over, they weren't in old people clothes that showed how they stopped caring about looks years ago and they didn't have that 'Im slowly losing my mind' look.
They were straight, walking normally, wore stylish mature clothes and their hair was white.
Every one of them had aged gracefully like fine wine.
"Boys!" Said an particlar old woman pulling both Homer and his new brother Loover, into a hug and given them both a kiss on the cheeks that wasn't sloppy at all and didn't reek of old person.
It was a very welcome surprise for Homer.
"Mom, I'm 622 eons" said the guy.
"Doesn't matter, your still my baby boys" she said. "Now, who wants some chocolate cake?"
"We do!" Said Homer and the kids.
"There she goes again" said the old woman's husband to the other old husband. "Before you know it, shes going to take over the whole house"
The other laughed, a very attractive and light laugh.
"So how is everything going Charlieen? " said what Marge assumed was her new mother. "I see that your still happily married and smiling. You still have three very beautiful kids"
Marge blinked owlishly, did somebody just compliment her and her entire family?
"Come on, rush me" said her husband.
"Really?" Said Bart.
"I still got a few eons left" said the guy and than Bart did.
Just as he was about to smack into him, he was lifted up and turned upside down, the old man went after Lisa who yelled as he picked her up as well and than both of them got juggled.
The fear both of them felt turned into fun.
When was the last time, they were both carried and not have to worry about an adult being out of breath because they were too fat?
"Hey, you want to be carried?" Said the old man to Maggie. "Here we go" he lifted Maggie up and was now juggling three laughing children.
When he finally stopped, all three kids were fun out and Maggie claimed onto his head and went to sleep in his soft white nice smelling hair.
The old man put both Bart and Lisa down.
"By the way, I'm your Grandfather Ismael" said the old man. "I'm the one who would let you crash a car into a lake"
"Cool" said Bart.
"What the heck is that?" Said somebody seeing Santa Little Helper.
"Oh, that's santa's little helper. We picked him up from Earth." said Homer stuffing his face with new mothers cookies.
"I have never met such a weird animal" said the wife. "It looks like one our own but doesn't smell like he bathes in blood every morning"
The dog was cowering in the corner, because of the overpowering smell of death coming from the new arrivals.
"There not going to hurt you" said Bart, walking to the dog.
"If we wanted to hurt the dog, we would have done so already" said Loover, before he said. "Now, am I the only one who wants to sit down on the coach and watch 'Death Samerai Sword fighting' with a nice cold beer?"
A beer appeared in Homer hand, and read 'Galaxy Super Duff Beer'.
Homer actually started crying and said. "Where have you been all my life, Brother? " he wrapped his arm around Loover in a bro hug and than they sat down and turned on the TV to find, it was now picking up on this planets shows.
"Welcome to Death Samerai sword fighting!" Yelled a large man through the screen.
And than two people showed up dressed in ridiculous costumes.
One was thin Hamburger while the other was a chubby squid.
Bart sat down and even Lisa and the dog sat down.
"Don't knock it till you try it, little sister" said Zena. "Loosen up a little bit"
Marge seeing everybody enjoying themselves, decided to enjoy herself too and pressed a bottom to extend the couch and the TV so that they could all see well.
She was just in time for the person dressed as a Chubby Squid to get his head chop off and the body slumped down, blood was everywhere.
There was no way Earth would show this kind of volience without a viewer warning.
But oddly enough all of them weren't horrified.
Prehap's it was because each one of them had their tree house of horror moment so everybody had had their share of killing people, real or not.
There was only gasps from them before silence as they watched and than when the winner was crowned, those who had been killed went on stage and did the dance of shame, each move was chosen by the audience before hand with music to match.
Everybody burst out laughing, even Marge found herself laughing even though she knew she shouldn't.
"God that was awful" said the large shouty man after the dance number was done. "See you next week, where we will have new people willing to cut and slice each other for cash" before he said. "And if you think you have what it takes to be on this show. Don't grab the phone, well call you"
And than a crime show began to play, but it was with animals who acted like people and even spoke words like a human.
You would it would be stupid, but all the animals were amazing and oozed character.
"My god, how is this not a thing on earth? This is amazing." Said Bart.
"It's because these animals are actually smart enough to speak" said Grandma Davuey, Homer new mother. "Evolution has divided the animals. Those who can talk have jobs and even have successful careers. My pet dog developed intelligence and now he's working at an accounting firm"
"To think this Planet is so interesting" said Lisa. "Do you have a library?"
"Of course we do. But you need to wear a shield to protect yourself from the beams shot by other people" said the woman, before she said. "You know what? I'll come with you. We can discover a whole new world together"
Lisa was surprised.
Oh, my god. Do I actually have an intellegent Grandmother? Thought Lisa.
Lisa, keep calm and don't fall in love with the murderous alien. She told herself.
But she did fall in love with her new grandmother.
And than the Simpsons all noticed one thing.
They had family over and not a single of them felt uncomfortable, felt insulted or judged.
They actually liked being around their relatives.
However what they were experiencing was the honeymoon period.
Little did Homer know his lie was true.
Even on Earth when people find out theres a sale, it brings out the worst in people.
This planet was no different.
And scene!