I do not the Simpsons.
Enjoy!
Have you ever woken up in the morning expecting your boring life but feeling like something changed?
Homer felt something had changed when he woke up, got dressed for the day and took the dog out for a walk around the neighbourhood.
However it seemed the dog finally figured out how to use his powers and wasn't destroying property with each step.
Homer walked along his usual route and was convinced it was going to be a normal boring day.
It was not.
A woman in a suit came up to him and said. "Hi, are you Hoover?"
"Ur, yes?" He said.
"Hi, I'm Tracy and I'm with Smile yes, modelling Agency" she said, giving him her card.
He was stunned, was he still back on the other planet?
A planet where he was actually the attractive one over his brother?
"What? You want me to model?" He said.
But what she said next, slapped him back to Earth.
"What? Sorry" she said. "I want you to give my business card to your very attractive brother and maybe wife. You are his brother right?"
Homer deflated and said. "Yeah"
"Thank you, please give it to him" she said before walking away.
And Homer soon learned, she wasn't the only one who would come up to him and offer something unbelievable in the bid to get to his brother.
When he was back home, he was depressed.
"Good morning, Homer" said Legion. "Why do you look so sad?"
"Master. On Earth, I'm the ugly brother!" He said, crying while the dog rolled his eyes in the background.
"Well, Homer. There are many things you can change with an axe to somebody throat" said Legion. "But you can not change a planets already established standards of beauty, unless you create the planet yourself" before he said. "But you have to admit, it must have felt great being seen next to a attractive guy and yet its the hot and young girls that hit on you"
"Yeah, that was pretty great, Master" said Homer and than he poured food for the dog.
Marge came down with the kids, 20 minutes later.
"Hoover, what's with the flyers?" Said Marger.
"Their all for Loover" said Homer.
"What?" Said Marge.
"Good morning family" said Legion.
They all said together in a monotone. "Good morning, Master"
"My phone is blowing up with people wanting to know more about the people I'm hanging out with in the pictures" said Lisa. "I've never been so popular"
On her social media account we're picutes taken from an invisible floating camera, it showed her hanging out with the friends she made at the library and hanging with her cousins.
She had both genders.
"At least, you don't have messages from guys trying to get with your female cousin" said Bart, making a face.
"Well, its the price of beauty" said Marge as she finished cooking.
They had food and everybody was packed and sent on their way.
However, when they joined the rest of society, all they heard was how good looking their relatives we're from their workers, follow pupils and people on the street.
They had gone from the aliens who came to live with humanity to the people who were related to criminally attractive people.
They didn't know if this was better.
When Friday came, they all had things to do.
Bart hopped out of the car and walked to the Van Houten house and knocked on the door.
The door opened to show a very surprised Kirk Van Houten.
Bart decided to mess with this man and said in a monotone robotic voice. "Hi. My name is Alberto. Your neighbourhood alien child. Your son invited me to a sleepover. May I come in?"
The man was stunned before stuttering. "M-Milhouse, your alien friend is here"
"He is?" Said Milhouse and than the guy appeared beside his father seconds later.
"Come in" said the kid.
Bart walked in and noticed that Luann Van Houten was in the doorway to the kitchen and staring.
He gave Milhouse a wink before saying to the guy mother in a montone. "You must be Milhouse's female parental unit. I am Alberto. Nice to meet you"
The woman face changed.
Milhouse who had heard him talk normally, almost couldn't keep it together.
"Milhouse. Please take me to the box I will be sleeping into" said Bart.
"Okay, than" said Milhouse and than they went upstairs, but they didn't go all the way up and ease dropped.
"Kirk...theres an alien in our house!" Said Luann. "You didn't discuss this with me!"
"Well, Milhouse never said it was the alien boy. It's a bit too late now." said Kirk, before saying "And did you see his clothes? Top quality. His parents must be wealthy. Do you think he'll lend me some dollars?"
"If you ask him that, you'll have to find somewhere else to sleep tonight" she said. "Asking money from a child is low but asking money from a child who probably doesn't know it isnt normal for an adult to ask that, is another level entirely"
Milhouse said to him. "Sorry about my parents. Things have gotten rough. I don't know if you'll understand"
"Actually. I've seen way worse" said Bart before they headed to Milhouse room.
Now that he thought about it, ever since his parents became aliens, the yelling from the room had stopped and he would often find them cuddling in bed together.
He never realized how much of a blessing that was until now.
# Lisa#
Lisa jumped out of the car and made sure her makeup was on right before walking to the door and ringing the door bell.
She waited and the door opened to reveal one of the girls from Springfield.
"Angel. Come in. Your the last one here" said the girl.
"I know" she said, before walking in and seeing some of the most shallow and 'Yes' girls in the whole school.
She should have turned around and not given these girls a breath.
But maybe it was the years of never fitting in with these girls and the fact she was actually popular that caused her to sit down.
"Oh, Angel is here." Said one girl.
"She so cool" said another.
"Love what your wearing" said another.
"So what are we doing tonight?" She said. "Apparently your supposed to do stuff at one of these"
"Well, we're going to do our hair and put on some beauty masks while talking about boys we think are cute, we met tells stories and talk about our favourite shop and celebrities" said a popular girl.
How old you again? Thought Lisa.
"Oh if it celebrities than let's talk about Alaska Nebraska" said Lisa.
Everybody looked at each other.
Lisa had actually found out she existed some time back.
"Of course..." Said Terri.
"You know its not making you any less cool if you don't know who she is" said Lisa. "She's a singer popular with the Waverly Hills kids, here on Earth. She's the coolest singer in the world right now. I even have her CD that we can listen to and after that, I have a DVD where all the guys are shirt." before she said. "With subtitles. Want in?"
The reaction she got was a positive one.
# Marge#
Homer dropped off Marge and the baby at a fancy restaurant, she took Maggie with her because she didn't trust a baby sitter and both of them entered the place luxuriously together.
They saw the neighbourhood girls at a table, before a staff ould approach them.
"Carlieen!" Said Mrs Wiggum.
"I'm with them" she told the staff member coming up to her, she walked past him and sat down at a seat.
Marge was suddenly aware that everybody in the restaurant was staring at her because of her hair, but than she skillfully diverted it to the massive ring on her finger.
"Holy moly, look at the size of that ring." Said Bernice Hibbert, pointing it.
"Oh, this?" she said. "Well, Hoover brought me this ring when we were back on our home planet. He saw how husbands give rings to their wives on this planet as a show of love"
"Well, that is a ring of love" said one woman. "How much did that thing cost?"
"Well, last I checked it was in the 5 figure range" she said, as all the women were impressed.
"Now that's a ring, you get when a man wants to keep you for life" said Mrs Wiggum.
Just than a waiter came and said. "Would you ladies and baby like anything?"
"Sorry, I'm not eating and have food for the baby" she said, surprising all of them and than she took out a bottle and Maggie began to suck.
"Are you sure you don't want anything?" Said the waiter. "Not even a glass of water?"
"I'm fine" she said.
And than the man took all their orders.
"It's nice to see you watching your weight, Carliedn" said Mrs Wiggum.
"What are you talking about?" She said. "I'm not eating because I don't know what normal human food would do to me. I might take a bite of an egg and it might actually kill me and I can't do that to my family"
And all the woman were stunned, apparently they never questioned why she never took food from them and thought she was watching her figure.
Now the thought of blowing up from just drinking some juice was quiet terrifying.
Being an alien wasn't all benefits after all.
# Scene Change#
Homer took the dog to the gates of the scariest house in all of Springfield.
Charles Montgomery "Monty" Burns mansion.
Santa little helper coward, he could feel the evil in the air.
He rang the door bell.
"Hello?" Said Smithers voice on the other end.
"Hi, its me Hoover. I'm supposed to have a meal with Mr Burns?" said Homer.
And they waited and than the door opened.
The dog didn't want to go in, but Homer forced him to and together they walked to the steps and met the most evilest man with his surprisingly nice assistant.
"Ah, Hoover. It's nice to see you" said Mr Burns, before he noticed the dog and said. "Who is this?"
"Oh, this my family dog." he said. "He's not allowed to be home alone"
The dog growled, he lit on fire and acid dropped from his mouth.
No longer did it look cute but a hellhound.
"Oh, my lord" said Smithers.
"Oh, what an interesting pet" said Mr Burns in a good mood. "Come in"
And they did, they followed him to the large and ominous dinning room.
Mr Burns looks like the devil as he sat down at his seat and Homer sat down at the other end.
"Move up, Hoover. I won't bite" said the man.
He did so and the dog sat at far, yet close as possible from the man.
"Can I get you anything?" Said Mr Burns.
"The dog would like a stake and I would like some gold" he said.
"Smithers. Get this man what he wants" said Mr Burns.
The man looked shocked before doing so.
"So Hoover...how was your holiday?" Said Mr Burns.
"Oh, it was wonderful" said Homer. "On the first day, I was reunited with all my murderous relatives. But my wife took all the weapons away because she didn't want us damaging the house"
"Oh, that's too bad" said Mr burns.
"But lucky, the following day was the holiday, " said Homer. "Pretty much the whole house woke up to the sound of explosions and we were greeted with my brother Loover when he opened the door, he went from neat and tidy to looking like a murderous psychopath in a single day"
"So there was blood?" Said Mr Burns.
"Blood was everywhere on him" said Homer. "And he just wanted directions. He was insane and hoped back into his car and drove off with his wife who too had blood splashed on her. It was terrifying"
"I can imagine lots of heads must have rolled under them" said Mr Burns.
"Yeah but that was nothing compared to my family" he said. "What time of the year arrives, all morals go out of the window. And my family was no different. We all hopped into the car after getting weapons and went on a killing spree to find my wife a wedding ring. People were being shot left and right, my son took pictures of him standing next to a pile of corpses. We have many horrific pictures. Would you like to see?"
"I would love to see" said Mr Burns.
And than Homer got out his phone and showed Mr Burns the pictures and in that very moment Smithers came back and saw his boss looking at graphically horrifying pictures.
What was more scary was that they were going through them like a family photo album.
Mr Burns was smiling because at last, he found a person who he could share his twisted photos with.
When Homer was finished, Mr Burns showed his photos and both of them looked at the horror together.
Smithers and the dog, comforted each other by staying away from the scary pair.
When Homer finally left, he was shocked to realise Mr Burns had given him a raise.
To think being a terrible person with Mr Burns had such great rewards for him and his family?
And scene!