TRIGGER WARNING - Mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts and abuse. Please read with caution.

but who prays for Satan?

who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner who need it most?

The two heavy doors swung open abruptly, but Soul's eyes remained never left Maka's. Sid came striding in and he stopped in between the two patients. He opened his mouth to say something, but then his eyes landed on Maka. He looked expression morphed between anger and curiosity.

"You guys caused quite a lot of havoc," he said gruffly as he cast a disapproving look to Soul. "Especially you. You knew what today was."

Soul met Sid's glare with a level stare of his own. "And you knew I wouldn't turn up."

Sid looked at him silently before he sighed. He ran a hand through his hair in irritation.

"That may be true," he admitted slowly. "But I didn't know you'd drag Maka along with you. You know she's still fairly new Soul, and that puts you in big trou-"

"He didn't drag me along with him," Maka interrupted, not even casting a look at Soul's surprise. "I followed him. I was curious. He snapped at me to leave me alone but it's fun to piss him off."

She saw Soul swallow thickly in the corner of her eye but thankfully, he didn't disagree. Sid looked at the blonde in alarm, though he seemed to accept the story.

"Is that right?" he asked, tilting his head at her before looking back to Soul. "Your parents are here, kid."

Soul scoffed and buried his hands in his pockets. "You know what I think about that, Sid. I don't want to see them. Tell them it will affect my recovery or something."

"That excuse seems to work less and less after using it over and over for seven years!" Sid said in exasperation before freezing, casting a wide-eyed look in Maka's direction. Soul rumbled a laugh and shook his head when Sid started splutter clumsily.

"It's alright, she knows," he assured Sid. "But you do that in front of anyone else I'll punch you in the throat."

Sid didn't regard the threat and instead stared incredulously between Soul and Maka. "Wait, you told her how long you've been here? Have you told her why you're h-"

"Yeah," Soul interrupted, his shoulders lifting in a shrug. "She knows everything."

Sid raised his brows before looking to Maka and she frowned under his gaze. She shuffled awkwardly and Sid seemed to notice her discomfort since he finally dragged his eyes away. He shook his head before looking back over to Soul.

"Look kid, I really think you should try with yer' parents. C'mon, it's been what? Half a year since you last saw them in person. A year?"

Soul frowned at him; his dark eyes flashing with annoyance. "So? I don't want to see them, Sid. I know it won't help me, and I know what will happen if I do."

Sid narrowed his eyes. He cast a swift glance at Maka.

"Oni will give you hell?" he sighed.

"Yeah," Soul replied sharply. "My parents are the last people I would ever want to see me have an episode and Oni is very aware of that. So, until I get this under control, I won't see them, Sid. I can't."

Sid held his gaze for a while longer before finally sighing and looking away. He nodded his head slowly.

"Alright, kid. I got it." He responded in a tired voice, obviously seeing no point in arguing. "It's free time now and I've got to go sort this out. Go back to the home room or something, don't stay here."

Sid cast Maka another look, this time his eyes remained on her.

"Marie is worried sick. She's got everyone looking around for you, so I suggest you get going now. Get going."

He said the last sentence half-heartedly. Maka realised that he knew that they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, and yet he was leaving them alone anyway...

The doors swung shut behind Sid's retreating form and Soul's eyes met Maka's again. There was a long silence before the blonde looked away, a blush furiously darkening her cheeks.

"So… You and he seem close." Soul looked at her before nodding slowly, his eyes falling back to the door.

"Yeah," he agreed, he ran a hair through his dishevelled hair - Maka's stomach jumped when she remembered that she was the one who made it look like that. "Sid's the only person who could get through to me when I first arrived here."

"You wouldn't talk to anyone?" Soul shook his head.

"No one. All the therapists were so… stern. Professional. It made me feel like I was being studied or somethin'. Sid isn't even a therapist, he's just staff, but he didn't talk to me like everyone else."

"Really? What did he talk to you like?" Soul smirked.

"Like I was normal," he breathed. "If I had a tantrum or something and tried to hurt someone, he'd just yell at me. It made me laugh. All the others wouldn't talk to me but about me. They'd just yell "Evans's having another one, get Stein, we need sedation" or some shit like that."

"And what would Sid say?"

Soul laughed.

"'Oh, for fucks sake kid, can't you just relax? Nothing's even happening! Calm the fuck down.'" Soul laughed again. "It'd just snap me out of it. 'Cause he was right! Nothing was happening. I was just angry for absolutely no reason and I'd just… lash out. So, Stein assigned Sid to me."

"But how can he analyse if he doesn't have the training?"

"He used to write things down and give it back to Marie or Stein to read over. But he doesn't really need to do that now, he's learnt from me and them."

Maka nodded slowly and Soul sighed.

"So, are you done stalling?"

The blonde blinked at him, trying to seem unfazed, even though her heart pounded at his comment. "What do you mean?"

"I mean you haven't even commented on the fact I just kissed you and I'm sure you, of all people, would have something to say."

Soul was looking down on her through narrowed but amused dark-red orbs. His mouth, which was usually turned up in a cocky half smirk was in a tight, thin line as he looked down at her face. Maka's brow furrowed in confusion at his expression. She had to fight the urge to look away from him - He could be quite intimidating when he wanted to be, she realised suddenly.

"Maka," he began gruffly, though Maka cut him off before he could go on.

"Don't, Soul," She sighed as she took a step back. "I get it, okay?"

Soul frowned and turned his head in confusion. "Get what?"

"That is was a mistake."

Soul's eyes narrowed scarily; he took a small step towards the blonde.

"Really?" he drawled lowly, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. Maka tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach as the sound resonated through her.

"Really," She agreed, but her voice was small. She fell a step back as he moved towards her, his eyes narrowed and his face firm.

"So," he went on. "You think I'd kiss you, like that," he growled, and Maka shivered. "And not mean it? You think I'm that cruel? That stupid I don't think before I act. Sure, I'm mean but I'm not that mean, am I?"

So, she had touched a nerve. Maka frowned and tilted her chin up. "I didn't say that."

"Because Maka," he went on as if she hadn't even spoken, still moving slowly towards her. Maka continued to move away from him as he stalked closer. "I don't do things I don't want to do. I do what I want. Now, you think I would've done that if I didn't want to?"

Maka swallowed audibly. She gasped as her back hit a wall. "N-no,"

Soul smirked darkly and tilted his head.

"No," he agreed. "I wouldn't. So, you still think it was a mistake?"

Maka blinked up at him as he finally closed in, his chest brushing hers as he towered over her. He looked down on her form with eyes mixed with anger, annoyance, amusement, and something else she couldn't make out.

The blonde looked away before shaking her head. "No. It – It wasn't a mistake. Not for me."

"And not for me." Soul said quietly. He tilted her chin up so that her eyes met his. The breath caught in her throat.

"You – You're something else, Maka." He told her slowly, his eyes hesitant.

"I seriously don't know what it is." He admitted, he sounded frustrated. "But there's somethin'. I don't talk to people, especially about myself. I'm rude, blunt, and angry and that didn't scare you off. You're just so damn stubborn."

He muttered as he trailed his finger under her chin while his other hand moved behind to her rest on the wall.

"I don't know how you feel about me," he told her. "But I'm not blind, I know that there's something. But I would never kiss you if it meant nothing to me. And you wouldn't kiss me if I meant nothin' to you either."

Maka gulped and hung onto each word. Her hand moved forward to lace her fingers with his. She squeezed his hand gently and grasped hers back. He frowned for a second before releasing a long breath. He pulledhis hand from her own before muttering: "Fuck it." And then he pressed his lips to Maka's once more.

It was passionate as the previous kiss, no more than a few minutes ago. His hands grasped her hips and pressed them to his own, a low growl rumbling in his chest. The sound sent a thrill through her and Maka gasped into the kiss. Her hands drew up to trail over his shoulders before snaking over them so she could grasp the back of his neck.

He groaned before pushing the blonde more firmly to the wall, dragging her bottom lip between his sinfully sharp teeth when they broke for air, barely giving her a second before he smashed his lips back to hers. Maka's lips moved with his, every thought on where she was and why she was there left her mind until the only thing she could think about was him.

The stupid man who pissed her off from day one, and she him. The man she had a strange but apparent connection with. She was drawn to him. And now he had her pressed up against the wall in the piano room, her leg wrapped around his waist and his lips pressed wonderfully against her own.

Soul was the one to finally break the kiss. He panted lightly, not opening his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, his breath ghosting over her lips. Maka looked at his face, his closed eyes before running her hand gently through his hair causing him to give a small smile as he leaned into the touch.

"I – I don't know what this means to you," he said quietly, his voice lower than usual. "But you mean something to me. But – But I need to think about a few things, and I bet you do too. But this wasn't a mistake, Maka. You hear me?"

Maka nodded, not trusting herself to form words yet. Soul looked at her intensely before suddenly leaning forward and pressing his lips back onto her own. This time it wasn't desperate, or rough. It was slow. Their lips moved together for a few short moments before Soul pulled away again. He nodded at her sharply before turning without another word and exiting the dark piano room.

It's safe to say that Marie was not impressed with Maka when she finally ran into her.

"Maka Albarn," Marie strode towards the smaller blonde just before she could make it into her room. The younger blonde didn't even bother to hide her groan as she threw her head back. She was so sure that she had avoided this.

"Now, none of that," Marie said when she stopped in front of Maka, her hands firmly resting on her hips as she looked down furiously at Maka's form.

"Where on earth have you been?" the woman almost shrieked. "I've been looking everywhere for you, and so have the staff! Do you have any idea how worried we were? This isn't some holiday home Maka - There are rules! Set rules that you must follow. And one of the plainest rules of all is that you must ask permission before you…"

Maka zoned out as Marie went on, her eyes narrowed into slits as she glared at the floor to avoid Marie's eyes. This wasn't entirely necessary, was it? She was gone for about twenty minutes, tops.

" - so, you can realise how careless and stupid it is to just up and disappear! You need to start thinking – "

"Okay, Marie," Maka interrupted the older woman. "It won't happen again, I get it. I was just wandering around. I didn't realise it would start such a huge commotion."

Marie glared furiously at the younger woman. "Well, it did. Now, you're very lucky I don't put you in isolation."

"Why don't you?" Maka challenged, even though the thought of being locked in a room all on her own sent a wave of fear through her.

Marie went quiet.

"Because you didn't cause too much harm." She said softly and Maka's eyebrows shot up. Had Sid already spoken to her?

"Anyways," Marie interrupted Maka's thoughts. "We know where you are now. Please, in future, inform us if you want to go somewhere. There are certain places that are out of bounds."

Maka was nodding even before the older woman had finished.

"Of course," Anything to shut you up, she added silently.

"Good, now go to your room. Classes are still off."

"Is something still going on at the adult's floor?" Maka asked, Marie gave her a sharp look.

"We're just sorting some things out," she said, almost frantically. Maka took a step back.

"What's going on up there?" Maka meant the question to be rhetorical, but Marie shunned her anyway.

"Never you mind, missy! It's bad enough that I have to deal with the children on this ward running around willy-nilly, but I need to keep an eye on the child up there as well!"

"Wait, what?" Maka's eyes flashed. "There's a child on the adult's ward? Why? Who?"

Marie had her hand pressed against her forehead; she realised a long sigh before pressing her fingertips to her temples.

"That is really none of your business, Maka." She said in a very tired, precise voice. Something clicked in Maka's mind.

"…Chrona?" Maka said slowly, her eyes trained on Marie's face in order to access her reaction.

But she received none. Marie only frowned at her; her head tilted slightly to the side before she simply turned her back without another word.

Maka was in a foul mood when she returned to her room. Her mind fell heavily into that deep, hazy blue that took her hours to pull herself from. She fell into a heap on the bed and pulled the covers over her head. She tried desperately to fall asleep just then and there.

The blue, the black, the white. Maka didn't really know what colour she fell into when she felt like this. Why did she have to feel like this? Wasn't this place meant to make her better, make her feel better?

The blonde felt almost angry. Couldn't they just fix her already? That's what's this place for, wasn't it? And yet, Maka still felt so horrible, even when good things (right?) happened. She still craved the feeling of pressing that blade to her wrist until beads of blood formed from the wound. She craved the death she had attempted, that brought her here. But… that's not right, is it? She had also never been this happy. She'd never felt so safe, so… cared for.

So, why? Why was she so miserable when this was the brightest, she had ever felt? Why did the highs come with these unbearable lows? Why was she drowning in blue… in grey?

It was her mind. Her dumb, stupid mind. She was just so fucked up that no matter how happy people made her it would never matter. Her brain wouldn't allow such a thing. She was incapable of happiness.

There was no other explanation. Maka had no reason to feel this way, especially right now. It was poison. Toxic. It seeped into her blood, into her brain, and changed her. No – It had formed her.

The blonde screamed into her pillow. It was just so frustrating! Her mood changed so suddenly that she couldn't keep up with them anymore. It was painful. She needed to keep it together, but she couldn't.

There was something about the feeling of being completely powerless in controlling your own emotions, the feeling of not even knowing who the real you is. Is it the positive, somewhat happy teenage girl or is it the sad, unbalanced, dangerous individual with a nasty tendency of clawing herself open and praying for death?

But Maka didn't want to die. She didn't want to hurt herself anymore. She didn't want to hurt anyone else, not now people cared about her. Now that she knew she had these disorders, all she wanted was to get better. She just wanted to feel better. Be normal.

Was that so much to ask? Not to be dragged in by the ugly, blue-grey cloud that made her choke bitterly on her own existence. She didn't want to hate herself.

But she did. Maka so, desperately did. She despised herself with every element of her body.

More than her Mama, she realised in horror. The woman who allowed her to be left alone with Papa, because she was too dumb to know what was happening. Or maybe she just didn't care.

More than her abusive, neglectful Papa that she was too terrified to even breathe around.

She lay awake almost the entire night, pondering all of this. Why her, why not someone else? She knew she would never know; she could only hope that the people here could just fix her. Even though were taking the sweet time about it.