Chapter Seventeen

Desires

Kaoru's POV

Kaoru stared blankly at the mangled corpse that lay a few feet away from the house. She stood in the threshold of the hut transfix by the gruesome sight. It was staggering to know that Kenshin was capable of something so horrendous. She simply couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that disfigured human body was the handiwork of the Battousai. The way the soldier's neck and limbs were twisted and disfigured grotesquely was alarming, but it was the head injury that had been the final cause of death. It was nothing but a gaping hole that started at the top of his skull, and end at the underside of his jaw. Kaoru's stomach lurched painfully. It was a terrible way to die. Adverting her eyes away from the maimed body, she stared at the wilted grass around the edge of the door frame. Kenshin was an incredibly powerful swordsman, and that was undeniable. Objectively he shouldn't have been able to make such a clean cut through something as hard as bone. It should have been a lot messier than what it was. That head wound told Kaoru that he had immense control and strength that she could only vaguely comprehend. Somewhere deep inside the realization that he was just as dangerous as the rumors had said caused a spiraling chill to course down her spine. Kaoru shivered in the warmth of the sunlight that had filtered through the forest canopy. To say that the aftermath of this battle didn't unsettle her would be a bold lie. This had given her a slightly different outlook on the man she had come to know, but at the same time Kaoru was willing to bet that what she was looking at now was only a taste of the true damage he could do with a katana. Especially when his inner slayer took over. It was that thought that frightened her a little.

So far Kaoru had only ever had a small glimpse into the darkness that laid deep within Kenshin. She was unsure was truly lurked underneath the surface of those molten golden eyes, but Kaoru had this strange feeling that something monstrous was simply biding its time, awaiting the moment that it would be unleashed. Likewise, she had always felt that Kenshin was constantly struggling with some sort of internal conflict. From a doctor's point of view Kaoru suspected that Kenshin was possibly suffering from some kind of mental or emotional trauma. However, there wasn't a lot of advances made with the side effect of war in soldiers. Additionally, psychology was an underfunded field of medicine. Very few studies had been made about the fragile nature of the human mind, and in a time of war such as now, any budding studies were put on hold. Even so, there were many times when they were alone that she had thought that he would tell her about that conflict, that he might let her into that darkness that threatened to consume him. However, every time Kaoru would get to close he would erect an impenetrable wall. What she didn't understand was whether that wall between them was built to protect him, or to protect her.

Kaoru's gaze wondered back to the corpse. It would be untrue if she said that this more brutal side of Kenshin didn't at least concern her, but she could not condemn him. He was a warrior and the battlefield was a place where unimaginably terrible things took place. Kenshin was Katsura's top assassin. Kaoru had heard the men talk about the Battousai's duty to the Choshu Clan. He essentially lived in the shadows of the war, going to great lengths to make sure that everything would run smoothly. With that in mind he was typically assigned to the more malicious missions. It had to have an effect on him—all these years he had lived a life filled with death and bloodshed. So how could she condemn him? The life he lived in was scary and the thought of becoming a part of that world did scare her, but Kaoru loved Kenshin. And a love like she held in her heart for him knew no bounds. If he would only allow her into that dark world of his she would simply accept it despite the fact that she would be scared. To truly love another person one must learn how to love everything about that person, and that darkness in him was a part of Kenshin.

Sensing the heavy gaze upon her shoulders, Kaoru turned around to meet the intensity of Kenshin's stare.

Kenshin's POV

Kenshin watched her from across the room. Apprehension had disabled his ability to move and he was rooted to where he stood next to the hearth. Kenshin pressed his lips together in a thin flat line as he prepared himself for her reaction. He never meant for her to see that ugly side of him—the one that so brutally and mercilessly took lives. Somewhere inside of him he began to resign to the thought of her leaving. At this moment, it seemed to be inevitable. After seeing something a repugnant as the grisly way he had killed that man. She had to be revolted by the way he had mangled that corpse. Any sensible woman would flee after seeing something like that. Kenshin was a dangerous man with a steadily growing affliction for a darken soul. He wouldn't stop her if she now decided to go back to Tokyo. If he were being truthful with himself, Kenshin had been aware that this would one day be a possibility. This sweet little fantasy he had been living in with Kaoru was bound to come to an end someday. He would let her go if she wished to do so. He had no right to try and make her stay. For what seemed to be an eternity he waited for her to deliver the verdict.

Then she turned around in the threshold of the doorway. Her long, black hair rustled at her waist as she lifted her chin to meet with his stoic gaze. She pushed the door closed. Kenshin would not burden her with unnecessary emotion. He wouldn't be responsible for her staying simply because he was too selfish—because she wouldn't want him to be sad. He expected fear. He expected her to look at him with disgust… for her to run away. Instead she only left him in stunned amazement. Kaoru's eyes soften as her gaze met with his. Then she began to take a few steps in his direction. Kenshin inwardly tensed up, suddenly afraid of what she would say to him. He never once tore his eyes away from her as she moved in his direction. A few more steps forward and she had closed the distance between them "Kenshin…" Her tone was barely above a whisper, and it cut into him like a freshly sharpened knife "What's wrong?" She asked "Are you feeling okay." Gently she raised her hand to his forehead, testing the skin with the back of her hand to see how warm it was. She left him puzzled yet again. Had she not seen that man's vulgar corpse? "You do feel a little warm." She murmured mostly to herself "Maybe I should try to find some medicinal herbs today." Kenshin's gaze wondered to past the door frame where the man lay with wide open, haunting black eyes "Does it…" Kaoru let her question trail off as she followed his gaze to the dead man a few feet away from the hut. Something must have clicked together in her mind because she suddenly placed her palm flat against the still tender scar on his cheek, and drew his attention to her "Stop it." She commanded in a serious tone.

"Kaoru…"

Her brows came together fiercely and her eyes narrowed on him "You shouldn't worry about that. I'm not going to worry about the corpse of a man who attacked the man I care deeply for, and who nearly killed my dear younger brother." Her eyes softened once more "Don't you dare condemn yourself for that man's death. This is a war Kenshin. People do die, and sometimes there's nothing that can be done about it."

"The sight of him… does it not scare you to know that I am capable of that?" Kenshin asked with conviction.

Frowning slightly, she bowed her head forward "If I was telling the truth, yes. It does frighten me a little." His stomach painfully twisted itself into tight knots, and it suddenly began to hurt to breathe. It felt like he was inhaling glass. Each breath felt as though his chest was being shredded to pieces. She was afraid of him. This would be it. He had managed to scare her away. Kenshin was sure that today would bring forth the last time he would ever see Kaoru Kamiya, but then she looked up at him with a burning desire gleaming within the depths of those deep blue sapphire pools "Kenshin, I refuse to leave you. You have come to mean a great deal to me. I want to be with you, I want to learn about you—everything there is to know even if some of it is a little scary. When you care about someone you will accept everything about them, even their scary parts." Just when he didn't think that he could ever love her any more than he did, Kaoru turns around and does something like this, something that only deepens his devotion to her. Would she ever cease to amaze him? He cupped her delicate face within both of his palms and pulled her close to him, pressing a meaningful kiss hard against her lips. Almost immediately she responded to him. Her body melded into his. One arm rested against his shoulder while the other hand slipped into his hair. Kaoru's slender fingers entangled themselves into the hair at the base of his skull where she lightly tugged.

A searing fiery sensation flooded his lower stomach and the member hidden away in his hakama twitched just slightly. It had been such a long time since he had felt the heat of arousal. Kenshin's hands slid silkily down the column of her neck, cherishing the feel of her soft, smooth skin against his fingertips. Her body quivered underneath his tender touch. Her response only aroused him more. Brazenly Kenshin hooked his thumbs into the neck of her kimono, and spread the pink cotton fabric open just far enough to expose the creamy flesh of her shoulders. She shuddered against him as the cool morning air touched her bare skin, but she wasn't protesting his actions. This encouraged him to continue. Pulling away from their long kiss Kenshin chuckled softly at the way her supple pink lips pouted in protest. Absently he wondered if she was even aware of the fact that she was pouting. Kenshin leaned down and placed a kiss against the corner of those addictive lips before spreading a trail of quick, hot kisses across her jawline. She released a shaky sigh at his gentle ministrations. Right now, was perhaps one of the most intimate moments they had ever experienced together. Kenshin worked his way over to her ear. Affectionately he nuzzled the shell of her ear with the tip of his nose before giving her lobe a tantalizing lick. This earned him a low gasp. "Did you like that?" He whispered huskily against her ear.

"Y-Yes." She breathed her voice slightly trembling. Kenshin could feel the heat of her embarrassment against his cheek. A private smile spread across his lips as he imagined his Kaoru blushing a delicate shade of pink. Teasingly he repeated the action with a flick of his tongue against her sensitive earlobe. Earning him a barely audible moan. He had heard it loud and clear. Kenshin wanted—needed to hear it that delicious little sound again. Moving away from her ear, he kissed his way down the length of her neck, pausing as he reached the graceful curvature of her collarbone. He placed warm open kisses across her collarbone and on to her shoulder, then moved to the junction between her shoulder and neck. He nuzzled against that delicate spot, once again erecting a moan from his Kaoru. The length of his member hardened and strained desperately against his hakama, causing Kenshin to release a low groan. His control was beginning to slip.

In a flurry of fabric Kenshin twirled Kaoru in a circle and guided her back against the wall that was previously behind him. He placed one hand against the wooden wall next to Kaoru's shoulder, and the other rested against her pink cheek. He examined her thoroughly. Dear god she was beautiful. He admired the way her lips had parted just slightly, and loved how flushed her skin looked. The swell of her breasts, which were now partial exposed due to her kimono sleeves having slid just a little farther down her arms, was rising and fall rather fast as her breathing accelerated in excitement. A spar few strands of her luscious black hair had fallen over her shoulder. Still it was those eyes of hers that provoked the loss of what little control he had. Kenshin could feel the heat of intense desire pouring from his body as he became entranced by that lustful gaze she was giving him. Those blue sapphires glittered darkly, hungrily. He couldn't resist her. A little more roughly than he intended, Kenshin crashed his lips against hers moving quickly, urgently. Experimentally he slid his tongue along her swollen bottom lip, pleading for access. Kenshin had a sudden primal desperation to taste her. He needed to know what she tasted like against his tongue. As he waited for her response, Kenshin's right hand began to travel down the side of her body, memorizing and tracing her curves through the kimono. At last Kaoru decided to graciously grant him permission in. Hesitantly she parted her lips. It became obvious that she had never kissed anyone in such a way, and so he took his time. Kenshin gently caressed her tongue with his, coaxing her to respond.

Kaoru seemed to be timid and a bit shy about their tongues meeting. So, she simply tested the waters at first, flicking her tongue this way and that to determine which was the best method. Then suddenly she stumbled upon a pleasurable romantic movement that she repeated again and again. Kenshin groaned longingly against her mouth as he retreated. He knew that this would have to end and soon. If he would allow them to continue then he would indefinitely lose control and perhaps hurt her. After all he was no stranger to the ways of women, and had experienced his fill of pleasure that came exclusively from the fairer sex. However, those women had not been virgins. They were also experienced. Kaoru was so very innocent. Kenshin knew that she had never been claimed by a man in such intimate ways. And if they were to ever continue this little endeavor he wished to do so properly. He wanted to be in control of himself so that he could make her first time as pleasurable as possible. That is if she wished to give him that most precious gift. Kenshin wanted Kaoru to have a good experience that she would never forget. When and if that time came that was exactly what he planned to give to her, but right now was not that time. She deserved so much more than this.

He stepped away from her "Kenshin?" She asked tilting her head to the side curiously. Obviously, she was confused about his sudden absence. Kenshin didn't reply to her question, he didn't even dare look at her. He knew if he did he would lose the will to leave. So before he lost his nerve Kenshin turned on his heel and disappeared through the door on the far end of the hut.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you have thoroughly enjoyed this little tease of a chapter. As always please leave any comments you have below.