Historia looked blank with surprise, an understandable reaction. Erwin waited for the queen to find her next words.
"Um. What?"
"Marry me. If we marry, I'll attain the royal rank needed to keep the nobles in line, and more importantly, it will cement a certain role I have to play outside of Paradis."
"As king?"
"Yes."
"Um. Can't I just give you the power you need to do whatever it is you want to do?"
"There's only one way to give me the necessary power. Through marriage." Erwin bowed his head. "I'm sorry."
"Aren't you old?" Historia started as if waking from a daze. Her face flushed. "I didn't mean that, I meant—"
"No, you're right. I'm too old for you." The girl was only seventeen, after all. Little more than a child. "Therefore, I know this is a heavy request."
"There's something else." Historia chewed her lip, screwed up her face, and said, "I don't like men."
"Ah."
She flushed again. "I mean, I like men in that they're my friends. I like lots of men. I just, um—"
"You aren't sexually attracted to men." Best to help her along before she got too flustered. Historia puffed out her cheeks in seeming relief. "I understand."
"The only person I ever…" She sniffed, sinking into a pocket of sadness. "Ymir. But she's gone, and…" Her incredibly wide blue eyes filled with tears. She valiantly blinked them back.
"I want to assure you, I have no intention of consummating the marriage," Erwin said. "In fact, our marriage would save you from unwanted consummation with another man."
Historia frowned. "What do you mean?"
"If you accept Kiyomi's plan, you accept the necessity of bearing as many children as possible. How else are you to conceive all those children?"
"Ah. Right." The thought seemed to depress her further.
"If my plan goes right, Historia—if my story is told as I want to tell it—then Paradis won't need decades to enter the world's stage. We won't need a deterrent like the Rumbling. We won't need a titan of royal blood."
The queen looked very grave as she considered his words. She sat on the edge of the sofa, hands folded neatly. Her light blonde hair was done up, and she wore the dress military uniform she kept to hand for official business. Normally, Historia would want to wear her hair down, dress in a farm maid's clothes, and look after children. She had royal blood, but she was not a monarch. Not in the sense Paradis needed right now. And she knew it.
"We need each other," he said. "I need you to confer on me a certain status I can't attain any other way. You need me to take the burden of governing from you."
"I don't govern much at this point," she said.
"No. But I'll protect you from ever having to face a person like Kiyomi again. I want you to live a long and happy life. If you have children, however you do, I want you to have them because you want them, not because they can be used as pawns of the state." He meant all of that, every word. She believed him.
"So. We wouldn't…consummate?" She looked a bit wary. "Do you promise?"
"I have a woman I'm devoted to already. Besides," he said with a shrug. "Pretty as you are, you're just a child. There is such a thing as too great an age gap, believe it or not."
"My father wouldn't have thought so," Historia grumbled.
"Well. I'm not your father." She still wasn't convinced. "Do you remember when you told me in Orvud District that you had to be the one to deliver the killing blow to your father?"
She lowered her eyes. "Yes."
"You were brilliant. You understood that the people needed a narrative to contextualize the transition of power. Because of your courage that day, the people are devoted to you." It was true. Queen Historia was toasted all over Paradis. They loved her beauty, her gentleness, her motherly concern for orphaned children. Her courage in battle only cemented their adoration.
"So." She narrowed her eyes. Now she looked a bit shrewd. Excellent. "They'll have a queen they love, and a king whose commands they respect."
She really did understand everything so well. He was impressed.
"Exactly. So." He offered his hand again. "Do we have a deal?"
She studied the proffered hand, and studied him. Then, Historia frowned.
"Come in," Hange called. Petra opened the door and found the woman seated at a table, her goggles on her head as usual. She wore a lab coat marked with strange purple stains, residue from the crystal experiments. Hange's new laboratory was spacious, filled with books and papers, all of which were out of order. Four half-drunk glasses of water and three mold-gathering coffee cups were perched on tables or even empty chairs. Levi's worst nightmare. "Hey, Petra!" Hange beamed.
"What're you up to today?" Petra came over, saw a stack of papers and Hange's scratchy writing all over them.
"Mmm. Very interesting. Want to hear?" The scientist's eyes glowed.
"Oh. Ah." Run away, Oruo would have hissed.
"Fantastic!" Hange pressed some ink-smudged fingers to her lips in thought. "I have a theory about the Founding Titan. You know how the life span of a shifter is thirteen years?"
"Mmm hmmm." Petra settled in.
"The Reiss family didn't keep records of the family "tradition." Whether they wanted to cover their tracks or just because it was considered too holy to be recorded, I don't know. But when I started piecing a few things Historia told me together, I realized it didn't add up."
"What do you mean?" Now Petra was confused.
"First: Historia told us that her sister, Frieda, inherited the Founding Titan when she was fifteen, and died three years later when Wall Maria fell." She pointed to a note. "Frieda inherited the Founder in 842. That's when her uncle, Uri, died passing it on."
"Mmm hmmm." Petra resisted the urge to bang her head on the table. She had more pressing matters than this, but listened politely anyway.
"If we go by the standard rule of shifters, Uri would have inherited the Founder in 829. But here's the thing." Hange grinned. "Uri was almost fifty years old when he died. So that means he should have inherited the Founder at thirty-six or seven, then. Right? That's the math. But! This is where Historia's statement becomes important. When she sliced through her father at Orvud and killed him, she inherited a few of his memories. Some Reiss blood power I'd love to study someday. Anyway! She saw that her uncle, Uri, inherited the Founder as a very young man. He couldn't have been more than twenty-two or twenty-three at the time."
Petra frowned. "But then—"
"Yes. If this went the normal way of shifters, Uri would have died still a young man in his mid thirties. But he didn't. He lived well past his 'expiration date', heh. And that's not all!" She yanked over another paper and showed it to Petra. "These are records that show Kenny Ackerman going on the MP's pay roll starting in 819. Kenny was thirty-four at the time. He changed positions in the Military Police in 842, age fifty-seven. The year Frieda inherited the Founder. And Historia heard Rob mention that Uri was the one who brought Kenny in. Like a stray."
The numbers were addling Petra's head, but she tried to piece this together.
"So you think Uri, with the Founding Titan, brought Kenny in and then lived another twenty-three years?" Petra rubbed her eyes. "How do you know Uri had the titan when he met Kenny?"
"Well, I don't know for a fact. But I don't believe Kenny Ackerman would have followed any ordinary man, do you?"
No. Her blood curdled at the man's very name. No, Kenny was the type to only follow power. Shit. But then…
"So…what's this mean?"
"Maybe the thirteen year life span is wrong. Maybe there is no real 'curse of Ymir.' Or maybe a person of royal blood with the Founding Titan doesn't have to live by the same rules as every other shifter." Hange shrugged and shuffled her papers. "Anyway, it's a theory I'm working on."
"Why?" After all, weapons and weapon parts were scattered about the room, as well as shards of glowing crystal. That was way more important right now. Hange slipped her goggles back on.
"Well. Erwin's only got a decade or so left," she said quietly.
Petra understood then. She cast down her eyes, ashamed of her impatience. Of course Hange didn't want to lose one of her best friends.
"Maybe I can unlock Ymir's secret." Hange sighed, then immediately brightened up. It wasn't like her to brood. "Anyway! What can I do for you?"
"Um." Petra flushed as she pulled a vial of hormones out of her bag. She placed it on the table. Hange immediately snatched it up, eyes wide at a new secret to uncover. "I swiped that from a doctor in Marley. It's supposed to be some kind of hormonal treatment to help women conceive."
"I don't think you have that problem. Do you?" Hange looked puzzled.
"It's for my sister," she said quietly.
"Oh. Ah. Sorry. Hmm." She carefully unscrewed the cap and opened the bottle. Hange took out a glass test tube, a dropper, and squeezed a little out of the vial. She squirted it onto the tube. Petra wasn't sure what that was going to do, but Hange definitely knew more about science than she did. "What are you looking for exactly?" Hange went to the other side of the room, and rummaged through a drawer until she came up with a blue bottle. She went back and squeezed a few drops of the blue liquid into the test tube as well, and mixed them. They started to froth.
"I don't know." Petra felt so helpless. "I just don't want to start dosing my sister with this and then find out it's poison or something. Or that it makes her sick."
"Well, I can run some tests to determine exactly what's in this, but you should really talk to someone who knows about dosages. I'd only be able to guess, and you may not want that." Hange pushed up her goggles again; she wore them so much, two red marks had appeared on the sides of her nose. "Also, maybe you could bring in your sister for a blood test. I have no idea what I'm doing, but there might be a way to see how her blood reacts to the hormone before we jab it in her."
"Okay." Petra all but bounced. Brigitta was a step closer to her baby. She'd have what she wanted. "I can write to Kiyomi and see if she can give me some information. She can talk to a doctor about dosage."
"Sounds good! Thanks, Petra. I like a new challenge." Hange clicked her tongue. "Erwin's got me working on those crystals, which I'd love normally. But he wants newer weapons, and I'm just not sure how safe some of them are."
"It's odd to hear you talk about safety." Petra grinned.
"Hey! I risk my own life for science, nobody else's. Besides." She shuddered. "The one time I almost got Oruo killed chasing that titan, Levi nearly took my head off. Learned my lesson."
Petra smiled, but the mention of Oruo was a small shaft to the heart. Years later, and she still found she missed him fiercely. She wished he could have met Kuchel. She wished he could have had a wife and children of his own.
"Thank you. I'll bring my sister the day after tomorrow, if that's okay."
"Sure! Hopefully I'll have some answers by then." Hange cleared her throat as Petra started to exit the lab. "Er. So. Erwin, huh?"
"Yes." Petra sighed. Poor Marie. Erwin had told Petra, Levi, and Hange last night, privately. He'd wanted them to know before anyone about his impending marriage. "He's not going to…well. He wouldn't actually sleep with Historia, would he?"
"Erwin's a good man. He wouldn't take advantage like that." Hange spoke with the most ironclad trust. Petra wasn't as sure, but she was pretty sure. "But I wish I knew what he was planning."
"Don't we all." Petra said goodbye and left, walking out of the barracks and back onto the street. She almost turned right and headed for home, until she remembered she'd promised to bring a stack of papers by Erwin's house. Floch was stationed up north, overseeing new recruits. The little shithead.
Petra couldn't help her fierce dislike of the man. She went back to Erwin's office, got the forms, and then walked across the street and made a left. Erwin's house was a bit larger than hers and Levi's, and certainly fancier inside. That was down to Marie. The woman had an incredible eye and good taste. When Levi and Petra had gone over there for dinner, they'd sat in open-mouthed astonishment as Marie showed the blend of autumnal colors in the dining room, how she'd made sure the contrast with the peaceful green of the parlor didn't clash too heavily. Petra had thought she knew how to make a house pretty. She'd been dead wrong.
'Why aren't you like that?' Levi'd teased on the walk home. She'd casually stepped on his foot.
Petra knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again, shrugged, then stood on her toes and fumbled for the spare key behind the lamp. Erwin told her to leave the papers on the kitchen table if he wasn't there. Probably taking a meeting with Pixis today. He always liked spending time with the former Garrison Commander.
Petra unlocked the door and let herself in. She made a left, went through the parlor and into the dining room, then off to the kitchen. She placed the papers down, then turned to go.
She heard Marie screaming. It came from upstairs, a scream so shrill and furious it nearly rattled the walls. Petra paled. Shit. She hurried out of the kitchen, went through the dining room, but stopped dead in the entrance to the parlor as Erwin came down the stairs. His face was stony. Marie's screaming grew louder, and Petra winced as something came hurtling down the stairs to crash against the wall a mere foot from Erwin's head. It was a small clock; the gears exploded, scattering across the wooden floor. Erwin turned around, faced Marie with a pained, grim expression. They still hadn't seen Petra.
And she was absolutely trapped.
"It's not going to be like that," he said quietly. Petra tried to think which would be worse, running past him right now, or hearing whatever came next.
"You…fucking…" Marie huffed, still halfway up the stairs, and then let out another sharp scream. Erwin ducked as other objects hurtled down at him, including a vial of perfume that shattered on the ground. Instantly, the smell of lavender became so strong that Petra's eyes watered. "You bastard! You disgusting, child-fucking bastard!"
Okay. Petra had to leave right now, even if she shocked Erwin and Marie. She shouldn't listen to this. She began to creep into the parlor, but flinched and shied back when Marie rushed down the stairs and flung herself at Erwin. He grunted, catching her raised fists. He held her gently, refusing to hurt her, while she kicked his shin again and again. Erwin grunted, almost falling off the last two steps when she spat in his face. The man and woman got off the staircase and staggered into the parlor. Erwin kept holding Marie, and she kicked him again and again until she got him right in the knee. That hurt him, and he grunted, letting go of her wrists.
"For the last time, I am not going to sleep with her! Ever!" Erwin had used up his stoicism, and he glared at Marie. Meanwhile, she rushed over to her easel and art station, took up a jar of brushes, and flung them at him. Erwin batted aside the jar, which broke, its jagged pieces mingling with the rest of the detritus. The paintbrushes scattered. Petra needed to say something right now. Right now. Oh fuck.
"Oh. Of course." Marie gulped air, her face red with fury, cheeks wet with tears. "I forgot. Of course you'd never want to fuck your beautiful teenaged bride." She screamed again, picked up a vase and flung it. Petra was afraid she'd go for the kitchen and get all the plates. "Of course you'd never want royal children when you're the fucking king. Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"No. Unstable, maybe," he snapped. Petra understood he was freaked out, but she shut her eyes. Erwin. You moron.
Marie screamed again, picking up jagged pieces of glass and porcelain and throwing them. Petra wondered if she could climb out a window without being seen.
"I told her I was committed to you!" Erwin got his arms around Marie, held her against him, her back to his chest. Once in his embrace, she slumped forward, sobbing bitterly. "I told her that I love you. I want you. Not her. And even if I did, she doesn't want me."
"Bullshit." Marie sobbed.
"For fuck's sake, she doesn't desire men. Do you understand? I wouldn't force myself on her, and she'll never want me anyway. Do you hear me?" Erwin pressed her tight against his chest. Marie's sobs went from furious to miserable. She began to relax in his arms. "This is a strategy to save Paradis. I don't want to do this. I wouldn't if I had any other choice."
Marie only shook her head, and kept sobbing. Petra didn't think she could move her body. Ever again.
"I love you. I always have." He closed his eyes, put an arm across her chest. Marie leaned against him. "I'm not going to abandon you. Ever."
Marie seemed to be calming down. Petra was going to get horrified looks whenever she revealed herself, but this might be the opportune moment. She began to step forward—
"We can't live together anymore. Can we?" Marie's voice was hoarse with pain. Petra froze again. Erwin sighed.
"We can still be together. I can visit the house—"
"Visit?" She turned in his arms and slapped his face, sobbing violently again. Erwin, to his credit, took her blows with his eyes shut. "And we can't be seen together in public, can we?"
"Marie, I can't marry the queen and then flaunt my mistress. It'll be seen as insulting Historia. We need public opinion to—"
"Fuck public opinion. Fuck you." She finally got him in the balls. Erwin's eyes bulged. He fell to his knee as Marie broke out of his embrace and charged up the stairs. She wept as she slammed a door, and her cries grew muffled. Erwin knelt on the floor amidst all the glass and porcelain carnage. His breathing was ragged, his face tight with pain.
Petra carefully stepped into the room. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Erwin looked up at her. She saw shock and then fury on his face.
"How long were you there?" he growled.
"I, I brought the papers. Let myself in. I'm sorry. I…I didn't know what to do. I thought no one was home!"
Erwin sighed, then looked away from her. Petra crept nearer. He remained on the floor.
"Erwin? I'm so sorry—"
"Will you shut the fuck up and get out of here?" he roared. His eyes were furious. He got up and turned away from her. "Leave. Get out!"
She sprinted out of the room and out the door, locking it behind her. With shaking hands she hid the key and then raced down the block for home. He'd never spoken like that to her. She'd never heard him speak like that to anyone. Then again, she'd never seen him so miserable.
Petra got home and slammed the front door behind her.
"Petra?" Levi called. He was in the parlor with Kuchel, who was crying. She was teething now; it was not a good time to be a baby. "You okay?"
She walked into the parlor to find her husband on the sofa, their daughter perched on his knee. Kuchel's sobs were muffled by a teething ring. She chewed, cried, and chewed again. Levi spent two mornings a week with the baby while Petra oversaw things in the barracks, then they traded off. When her husband saw her, he frowned and stood up. He placed Kuchel on the sofa, where she continued to cry and teethe. The sobbing baby wasn't helping Petra's blood pressure. "Petra. What happened?"
"I…" She shook her head, then wrapped her arms around him. Levi grunted in surprise. "I had to take some papers to Erwin's house." She sighed. "Marie knows. She's not happy."
"Ah, fuck."
"I was trapped there. I heard everything. Erwin saw me, he…got pretty angry."
Levi sighed. "He do anything to you?"
"He shouted. I can't blame him." She kissed his cheek. "I'm only a little rattled, but you should go see him later on. He's going to need you right now."
"Ah, fuck." His vocabulary was not extensive. He held her. "Sure. After I'm done training the brats today, I'll go next door. You sure he didn't say anything too shitty?" He frowned. Petra kissed his nose.
"I'm tougher than I look."
"Damn straight." He rubbed his eyes as Petra picked up Kuchel. Her little girl was red in the face from sobbing.
"I know, baby. I know it hurts." Petra rocked Kuchel and made shushing noises. Kuchel whimpered, but stopped screaming quite as much. She chewed on her ring, then cried again.
"How long's this supposed to last?" Levi growled. He looked haggard, more so than spending a few hours in this chaos would suggest. He was the most patient, calm man alive, but when it came to his daughter crying he became worn out immediately. He couldn't stand the sound.
"She's a late teether." Petra sighed. "I think most of them are in by now. In a day or two she should be fine."
Levi grunted, then kissed her and left. He was happy now for time spent in the barracks running laps and overseeing weapons training among the newly accepted recruits. Petra smiled. He loved the happy times with Kuchel, but couldn't abide the bad ones.
"Mumma," Kuchel whimpered, then gave a scream-sob again. It rattled Petra's vision, but she only shushed and rocked. Pretty soon, Kuchel quieted. She teethed some more, only sniffling now.
"Mama's here. Shhhh." She kissed her daughter's head. She smelled of soap—Levi's trademark. Petra cuddled the girl, and closed her eyes. Life was so simple when you were a child. When people talked about wanting to be young again, it wasn't so much that they wanted to have plump skin or the ability to drink all night. They wanted simplicity.
Poor Erwin. Poor Marie.
"When you grow up," she whispered to Kuchel, "make sure you always do what you think is right. Don't do what other people tell you." If Marie and Erwin had done that, they might have married young and spared everyone this heartache.
Kuchel grunted.
Levi knocked on the door as twilight crept over the city. The door flung open immediately; Erwin had probably been perched in the hall waiting for the sound.
"Ma—" When he saw Levi, his face fell in disappointment.
"Sorry I'm not as good looking." Levi entered without being asked. Erwin shut the door.
"Not at all. I'm…tired." Erwin's normally pristine hair was rumbled. The top button of his shirt was undone, and he smelled like whiskey. Seeing his friend like this made Levi sick to this stomach; it was like walking into a church and finding one of the goddesses sprawled out on the altar, a half-drunk beer dangling from her hand.
"Gonna brew you some tea."
"I'm not drinking tea tonight," Erwin grumbled.
"Tough shit. You'll take what I give you." Levi went to the kitchen and put on the kettle to boil. Once the water was done, he warmed the pot, scooped in the leaves, and poured. Nothing soothed him like making tea, not even making love to his wife. It was a series of clean, simple movements. You saw results right away. There was an order to things. In a life of chaos, Levi craved the simple, easy moments. He brought the pot, a strainer, and two cups to the parlor, where Erwin sat with his head in his hands. Levi poured the tea, slid the commander—and future king—a cup. After a minute, Erwin picked it up and sipped some. He grunted.
"It's good."
"Only Petra makes it better." They both drank. Levi let the warmth sit in his gut. "You know I trust your judgment."
Erwin gave a heavy sigh. He knew what was up. "Yes."
"So I'm only going to ask this once. But think about it." He put his cup down. "Are you sure you need to do this? You sure there's no other way."
Erwin rubbed his eyes. "A story. I need to tell them a story."
"What story?"
Erwin leaned back against the couch. He was not a man to slump, or ever be sloppy, but right now he looked like any ordinary man weary after a day working in a vegetable stall. Though probably Erwin was more handsome than the average guy. The fire was out of him.
"The Supreme Commander assuming total control is a dictatorship; the man who becomes king and restores order is a hero. It's the same action, but the symbols are different."
"You need total control?"
"Yes." He was damn certain of that.
"After you do this, become king, what then? When does this all pay off?"
Erwin thought a minute. "That will depend on Willy Tybur. How well he heeds my advice. I'll make sure he does." He regained some of that composure. "Then I'll make my final move. A year, I think. Yes, a year should do it."
"And in the meantime, you whip Paradis into top shape." Levi nodded. "When you do this, your final move…what then?"
"Then your daughter can move freely in this world, as she deserves. Then those unfortunates around the world are released from captivity. I'll save them all, Levi. But I need to be king to do it."
He saw then that there was no bigass arrogance here. Erwin truly wasn't on a power trip. He believed that Paradis and all Eldians would live if he did this thing. Levi's gut settled.
"Okay," he said. "I'll trust you on this."
"Thank you." Erwin frowned. "I think I screamed at Petra today. I'm sorry."
"She said she understood. She didn't mean to hear you two."
"I know. But apologize for me, please."
"Eh, apologize yourself. I'm not your errand boy." Levi drank his tea, and Erwin laughed.
"The pair of you are the greatest help I could have." He looked kind of wistful then, or maybe even remorseful. "I realize now what danger I put you both in during our trip. I'm sorry. In future, I'll go alone."
"You will not. I'll go with you. Just say Petra's at home barefoot and pregnant or something." Levi sipped more tea. Damn it, why did this asshole have to take saving the whole damn world on his own shoulders?
Because it's what I asked him to do when I brought him back.
The tea soured in his mouth. He tried to remind himself that a dead Erwin could never have become king, or been with Marie, or saved Kuchel. Yes. For that last one, Levi would gladly restore Erwin Smith again and again.
"I should have found a better way to tell her," Erwin muttered. He rubbed his face. "I'm so tired."
"There's no way that was gonna go easy. Look. You were never gonna be able to get married anyway. Plus, this marriage isn't gonna be real in, y'know. That way."
"But it's the end of our open life together." Erwin seemed to deflate as he spoke. "She won't be my lover anymore, but my mistress. She'll be kept to the back, hidden away in the shadows."
"Look. She made her choice last year. She wanted you instead of Nile, and she got it. She made that choice knowing it'd blow up her kids' lives." Much as he liked seeing Nile Dok humiliated, Levi also understood what Petra had meant about the children being heartbroken. He imagined how Kuchel would feel if Petra left tomorrow and didn't come back. The idea shook him. "Not saying she deserves to feel like shit, but she had to know what she was getting herself into. You're not abandoning her. She'll either accept it or she'll move on."
"I don't want her to move on." Erwin rubbed his eyes. "I do love her."
"Get the feeling a 'but' is making its way into the conversation." Fuck it, guess they were doing this talking about their feelings bullshit. Levi got cozy and drank some tea."
"But," Erwin whispered. "She makes it so difficult sometimes. Not her reaction to the marriage; I deserved all of it. But she feels everything so deeply, and so expressively. It's the most beautiful and exhausting thing in my life. Sometimes I think about the days of you, me, Mike, and Hange, drinking or planning. Talking into the night. Those were clean days. Romance muddies everything."
Levi shrugged. "Guess it can."
"It doesn't with you and Petra." Erwin maybe sounded a little sullen.
"Eh, we have our moments. She gets pissy with how much I need to clean." That'd been a fight that hurt. He'd started scrubbing the hallway floor after she walked in from outside because she tracked in a little bit of dirt. Petra had gotten red-faced, telling him how stupid and slovenly he made her feel just for existing. She got mad that he kept remaking the bed because her hospital corners weren't crisp enough. He'd told her she needed to keep shit clean, and she'd told him that he'd make Kuchel grow up with a complex. Then she'd slammed out the door for an hour to cool off. When she came back, she apologized. He told her he couldn't handle the sight of dirt, but he'd ease off complaining about how neatly the beds got made and the towels got folded.
"You ever feel exhausted?" Erwin seemed genuinely curious, almost imploring. "Have you ever wished for the old days?"
"Eh." Levi gave it some real thought. "No. I don't. Maybe there are moments here and there where the baby's screaming and Petra doesn't clean something right and I kind of want to be back in my office all alone. But I don't want life before her. It was lots of pain, little payoff."
Erwin's lips twitched in a melancholic smile.
"I think they were the best days of my life," he said quietly.
Fuck.
"I don't mean…shit, Erwin, you know how shit I am with talking. My life's only what it is because of you." This was hitting too close to a point where they might hug it out or, god forbid, cry. Levi retreated into himself, and they sat in silence.
"I miss the thrill of not knowing. I miss wanting an answer so badly I could tear something apart to get at it. I don't miss the titans, or the deaths. I miss the desire." He sighed. "I miss being young."
"Yeah. Me too."
"You still are." Erwin gave a rueful smile.
"Thirty-six. I'm nearly dead."
"You don't know. Wait until forty." Erwin sat back. "But you have your daughter to keep you young."
"Sure you and Historia will never…" Levi didn't know how to put it except to say 'fuck each other.' "I mean, she'll grow up. She's cute. Maybe she doesn't like men, but she could like you. Eventually. Or at least she could want a kid of her own. An heir."
"I…" Erwin stared at his hands.
"I know you think about this shit a lot. I'm not dumb."
"Is it worthwhile? Fatherhood?"
He knew this answer. It was simple. "Yeah. I didn't know what it'd be, but now I do? Yeah."
"You seemed like the least likely of all of us to have a child." It wasn't meant to be bitter. It was almost pleased.
"Never would've. I would've made her get rid of the first one if I could." Hell, maybe the stress he'd put her under had killed their first baby. Even though the miscarriage was the reason they'd tried again and had Kuchel, the simple idea that a child of his had been lost would always sit heavy on his chest. "She was smarter than me. She is smarter."
"I can't," Erwin said. "I have just under eleven years left. I can't leave a young child fatherless like that, there one day, gone the next."
"I dunno. Maybe Hange could crack that curse of Ymir thing. Maybe you could get a permanent extension."
"Even if she could, I wouldn't want her to." Erwin was dead serious. "Part of the reason Paradis isn't concerned with my…rapid rise…is because of the time limit. Knowing I have less than eleven years to live makes me envision the future differently, and my role in it. It's less self-interested this way."
"Fair enough." But it hurt to think of saying goodbye to Erwin when Kuchel was twelve. When Levi'd brought him back, he'd thought it would be a full life term. Instead, it was an extension to execution. "You know, that's one reason you're lucky with Marie. Lots of women'd have a hard time accepting you'll be gone in ten years. Not her."
"No." His gaze softened. "She accepts everything about me. She always has."
"She loves you. When you love someone, you put up with a lot of bullshit." Petra, after all, still adored him despite the constant cleaning and nagging.
"Yes. She's the most…" Erwin sighed and sipped his cold tea. "I was forty years old before I had a real, committed relationship. I'm a fumbling novice. She supports me anyway. She loves me. She deserves to be loved the same way she—"
There was a soft noise, a woman's voice. Levi startled. Marie stood in the parlor entranceway, staring at her lover. Tears stood out in her eyes. Erwin got up, breathed her name.
That was his cue. Levi died a little inside to leave the tea things dirty, but that was Erwin's problem. He got up and left, quick and dark as a shadow. When he pulled open the front door, he heard Marie crying. But it sounded like her tears were muffled against Erwin's chest. That'd do for now.
He walked the street back to his house, let himself in. There was still a light on upstairs in Kuchel's bedroom. He went up and found Petra singing a bedtime lullaby to the baby. Kuchel was washed and in a crisp nightgown—Levi insisted on bleaching the shit out of all her nightgowns. The girl was yawning already, the trauma of teething already behind her for the day. When Levi poked his head in, Kuchel gurgled and waved her arms.
"Puh PAH!"
He went and picked her up, bounced her a little as Petra gave him a loving, exhausted look.
"I just about had her ready to sleep."
"Why don't you go wash up? I can finish here." He kissed his wife, and walked his daughter back and forth across the room as she babbled and also started to drool. He wiped her chin. Damn new teeth. "Oi. You gonna be a good girl and go to sleep?"
"Abu oo dah," she said. Or something like that. Kuchel giggled.
"You're a happy little shit, aren't you?" he said fondly. "Don't know where you got that from. Well. Maybe your great-uncle."
Hopefully that was all of Kenny that Kuchel would take. Kenny had enjoyed his life, for the most part. Both Levi and his mother had been quiet people. Shadow people. He wanted Kuchel II to blast through life, happy all the way.
Levi stopped in front of the full length mirror Petra had placed in a corner of the room. He saw himself holding his little girl, who was already yawning and ready for sleep. All pink and cream and smiles.
He remembered himself almost two decades ago, standing over some asshole his then-gang had run down. Levi'd taken some pliers to the guy's thumbnail, asked a question. When he didn't get an answer, he tore out the nail. Didn't get the answer even then, and he knew the guy likely wouldn't talk now if he wouldn't blab after one nail. But Levi yanked out the rest of the nails 'cause he had nothing better to do.
He remembered finding the two guys who'd cut off Isabel's pigtail just because they could. He remembered stabbing them both to death in an alleyway, the fury overtaking all his senses, all his respect for life—what little he had for it back then. They'd hurt his little girl; they should die, even if it was too heavy a price for the crime committed.
And he had once been a baby that looked just like Kuchel. Sleepy and innocent.
Levi feared for her in a way that only someone who came from nothing could fear. He knew what the world could do to his loving little girl. He held her tight, maybe too tight. Kuchel squirmed and started to cry.
"Sorry. Sorry. Shhh." Levi laid her into her crib, and she stopped fussing. He looked down on her as he covered her in the blanket and gave her the two dolls she loved most. Kuchel loved sleeping with all her toys; she was going to be a clutterbug. Levi was going to have to find a way to live with the toy hoarding. "Oi. Want a lullaby?"
Kuchel grinned toothily at him. To his little girl, he could do no wrong.
I want you to always feel that way.
"Okay." He cleared his throat. Softly, he sang. "Chairs so close, a room so small. You and I talk all the night long."
Isabel grinned up at him, her wild red hair getting in her eyes. He ruffled her hair.
"Meager this space that serves us so well. We comrades have stories to tell."
Kuchel's eyelids grew heavy. Before he was done, she was asleep. He kissed her cheek, then blew out the candle and slipped out of the room. He went across the hall to his own bedroom, feeling suddenly weary. Erwin felt his best days were behind him; Levi feared every minute of the future, terrified something would hurt his child. Once you hit a certain age, life was just anxiety, titans or no.
He wanted to go right to sleep. He felt tired. Levi opened the bedroom door.
"Hello, Captain."
Petra had draped herself across the bed, wearing one of the gauziest negligees Kiyomi had given her. It was sheer pink, with satin shoulder straps and nothing left to the imagination. She'd lit several candles around the bed, and had set a basin of warm, soapy water on the table so that he could wash up. She knew him well. Petra gave him the most come-hither gaze he'd yet seen.
"Orders, sir?" she whispered.
He would go to sleep right after he had sex with her eight times. But only eight. He felt tired, after all.
"I'm sorry we didn't get to throw you a bachelor party like we did for Levi," Hange said, looking sad as she and the two men hung out in the waiting area before the ceremony. Levi could already hear the loud murmuring of over two hundred voices as people filed in. Thank fuck Erwin and Historia were doing a ceremony in 'the old way', so Erwin didn't need best men. Levi hated the thought of standing out there looking stiff and awkward in front of all those damn people.
"I, er, think my liver appreciates that you didn't," Erwin said. He was dressed in the white robes of the old Eldian Empire, with a belted sash at the waist and sandals on his feet.
"Oi, Hange. Think you're getting married anytime soon?" Levi drawled.
Hange blew a raspberry. "Nope! Not crying about it, either. I have way too many experiments to run." She got that manic light in her eye that scared Levi a little. "One day, maybe I'll find someone to carry my microscope."
Was that a euphemism? Did he want to know? No.
Levi and Hange stood back and just looked at Erwin in his last moments as an ordinary citizen.
When we met, he was some smug asshole in the Survey Corps. Now he's king.
Only Erwin Smith could've managed such a leap. The large blond bastard looked at Levi, smiled a bit quizzically.
"What is it?" he asked.
"Eh. Just thinking about the old days."
Erwin nodded. Hange sighed.
"Well. We'd better get to our seats." Hange nudged Levi, wished Erwin luck, and left. The two men stared at one another a moment longer.
"It's not a real wedding," Erwin said.
"Well. It's real enough." Levi held out his hand. "Good luck, Smith."
Erwin clasped hands. "Thanks, Ackerman."
Levi felt that when he let go, he'd be letting go of the man as he'd known him. Erwin was a shifter, the Supreme Commander, but king? That was something mythic. That was larger than life.
"I'll need you," Erwin said. He was serious. "When the ceremony is over, for the rest of my life. I'll need you."
"Like I said, Erwin. I'm not going anywhere."
Levi let go, and went to find his seat.
Petra was filing into the room alongside the rest of the guests. Levi and Hange had gone back to see Erwin before the big moment, leaving her a chance to look around. They were in a ceremonial hall, a section of the palace she'd never seen before. It was old, almost ancient, filled with carved wooden figures of past kings. Though they had crystal lighting now, the room was lit only with candles. There were no windows here. It had some of the gravity of a tomb, even with a marriage altar at the other side of the chamber.
Petra shuddered. Why should she think that?
Someone caught her eye just before she entered. Petra turned her head and gasped.
"Nile? I mean, Commander…I mean, Mr. Dok." She didn't know how to address the man now.
She knew one thing: Nile Dok looked like he needed a hug. Badly.
The tall, thin man staggered out of the flow of the crowd. He headed down the echoing hallway, and Petra slipped after him. Why, she couldn't say. Maybe because she didn't need to watch a sham wedding ceremony. Maybe because he'd been kind to her once when she badly needed kindness.
"Nile?" She came up next to him. The man stopped walking and slumped against the wall. He unscrewed the cap to a flask, and took a few deep swallows of what smelled like whiskey. He was dressed in his military uniform, but his bolo tie was askew. His hair was rumbled, his eyes bloodshot. "Are…are you all right?"
"Oh. Hi." He offered her the flask. "Would you like some? Pixis gave it t'me."
She took it, but screwed the cap back on and put the flask down on the floor. He snorted, and ran a hand through his unkempt black hair.
"How are you?" She touched his shoulder. He startled at her touch, but didn't pull away.
"Amazing. Incredible. Wonderful." He sounded like he wanted to die. Petra guided him to an alcove, where they sat. The ceremonial doors boomed shut; she was going to miss the wedding. Well, Erwin was gaining the world today; she could sit with the man who'd lost everything to him.
"Maybe we should find you some coffee," she said gently. Nile blinked, and looked right at her. It was like he only now had noticed her.
"Ral. That is, Mrs. Ackerman." He hiccupped. She patted his back. "Forgive me. This is…forgive me."
He now seemed mortified, and sloppily tried straightening his bolo tie. Petra helped. She recalled disliking this man fiercely for the longest time. He'd been a prick, a Military Police asshole. But she'd also seen that he was a man who loved deeply. Who chose to do right by those he loved. A man who thought a happy family was crucial.
"Tell me," he croaked. His eyes wandered the hall. "Is she… Is Marie…?"
"She's not here." Marie had finally been peaceful about the false marriage, but she couldn't bear to watch the ceremony. Petra didn't blame her. "I think she's somewhere in the palace, though." Historia had given Erwin's mistress her own apartments. Erwin would spend his wedding night with Marie, trying to make all this up to her.
"I left Senta with the little ones." Nile sniffed, his shoulders sloping with exhaustion. Or maybe sadness. "She's almost sixteen. She should be having fun; instead she's practically their mother." Nile's face twisted up. "That woman just left them."
"I don't think you want to be angry right now," Petra said gently. She was afraid that'd make him pissy, but he slumped further.
"No. You're right." Nile shut his eyes. She wondered if he was about to go to sleep. "How is she?" he whispered. "Tell me the truth."
"Um." How to answer? Did he want to hear good or bad things? Petra opted for the truth, delicately put. "She's mostly happy. But this marriage is a little hard."
"Makes me a little glad to know she can never be his wife now." Nile muttered that more to himself than to her. "Suppose that makes me a bad man."
Petra sighed. "No. It just makes you human." Nile didn't seem to want to get up, so she continued to sit with him. "Can I ask…no, sorry. That's not my place."
"Please. I'm just glad anyone wants to talk about it at all." He seemed to deflate further. "Can't deny the Supreme Commander—sorry, the king anything he wants. Makes you seem like a traitor."
Petra shut her eyes. She'd always been forthright, and so she asked what she meant to ask.
"Did you always know she loved him?"
Nile worked his jaw, screwed up his mouth. Flashes of various emotions showed on his face.
"Yes," he whispered at last. "They thought I was too dumb to catch on, but I saw it. I saw how they always looked at each other." He sniffed, put his face in his hands. "And I knew they were…he was more right for her than I was. They liked the same things. He was as handsome as she was beautiful. Any other man would've accepted he'd always be second best. Any other man would've had too much pride. But not me!" He gave a bitter laugh. "All I ever wanted was her."
"Why?" Petra asked gently. "Because she was beautiful?"
"Well. Yeah." Nile sniffed. "But more than that. She had this way of looking at things that you felt was special. She made the world feel special. I felt…I felt that if I had someone special like that all to myself…she'd make me special, too."
Petra pursed her lips. She saw now Nile's true, miserable mistake. He had loved Marie for what he thought she could give to him, not because she blended with him. He wasn't the first to do that, but as far as Petra saw it, such marriages tended not to be happy.
"But…" He swallowed. "I, I also wanted to keep her safe. She was all alone, living in that shitty apartment, trying to make a living selling paintings. I wanted to shield her from the worst parts of the world."
Petra sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I believe that."
"I knew, you understand? I always knew she didn't love me. When she said yes, I knew Erwin must have rejected her." His face twisted up, and she saw to her horror that he was fighting back tears. "But I thought with time she'd forget him. I could make her happy. When we had our girls…she loves our girls." His voice hitched, and Petra instinctively hugged him. Nile grunted in surprise, but leaned into it. Petra felt how desperate he was for comfort. "I saw her happy over the years. Marie will tell you she was never happy, probably, but I swore she was. Midwinter presents for the girls. Family picnics when I was home…I wasn't home a lot, but when I was. She didn't…" He sniffed. "I don't think she hated making love with me. She must be a pretty damn good actress if she did." Now he sounded wretched with humiliation. "What did I do wrong?" He looked at Petra now, his face red. He seemed to want an honest answer. "What did I do?"
"You…" She shook her head. "It wasn't your fault."
"No. You were going to say something. Please, say it."
"Nile, you…" She shut her eyes. "You knew she didn't love you, and you married her anyway. You should marry someone who loves you the way you love them. It's the only chance for happiness."
She and Levi were happy because they both wanted and loved each other with equal passion. They stayed happy through affectionate gestures, improved communication, and other things, but the love had been there from the start. She'd seen marriages like hers…and marriages like her parents'. The latter could be happy enough after a while, but there was always a desperate, melancholic tinge to that happiness. Always a question, 'what if?' It was a regretful life.
Better never to marry than to live your life with regret.
She expected Nile to snap at her, but he said nothing. When she looked at him, she saw now that the tears had broken through. He was hunched over, biting his lip to keep from making sound as tears slid down his cheeks. Petra felt like she'd been punched in the gut.
"No, I'm sorry. Ignore me, I, I'm all wrong about it," she said.
"No. You're right." He turned from her and wiped his cheeks. After a minute, he looked back with a composed expression. "But even though it's true, because of her I still have my girls."
He loved his children. She saw it, plain as anything. She saw the pain he carried over his betrayal and humiliation, but she also saw all the love in him.
"If it makes you feel any better…" Petra hesitated, then went all in. "I think she made a mistake leaving you. And not just because now Erwin is marrying someone else."
Nile looked quite surprised. Probably no one had ever before told him that he was a better choice than Erwin Smith in any way.
"You gave up your dreams to make her happy." Petra shrugged. "Erwin would never do that."
"He's the savior of the nation."
"But he would never give up everything for her. You would. Maybe she loves him more, but she made a mistake. I really think that."
Nile sat there, looking blank. Eventually, she saw his shoulders ease back. He seemed lighter now.
"You're the first person I've spoken to since it happened that felt that way. Pixis said she was ungrateful, but he didn't say she was wrong."
Petra remembered Levi's smugness, saying that Marie had wasted enough of her life on Nile. Probably everyone thought the same. Not only was Nile a cuckold, he had people feel embarrassed for him, not angry on his behalf. He'd been told by everyone what a lesser being he was than Erwin Smith. He'd had to keep himself together for his girls.
"Do you think you'd ever take her back?"
"No." He said it swiftly, a spark of anger in his eyes. "No, she made her choice. Let her live with the consequences."
But Petra saw the way Nile's eyes still scanned the corridor, looking for traces of her. Even if he meant what he said, he'd spend the rest of his life searching for Marie.
Nile finally looked at Petra. Really looked at her.
"Why would you be so kind to me? I tried getting your husband hanged at the gallows a couple of times."
True. She did resent that. But Petra shrugged.
"You were kind to me when I needed someone to be. When I…the miscarriage." She cleared her throat, determined not to cry. "You were happy to find out I was pregnant when no one else was."
"Children are wonderful," he said lifelessly. She patted his arm.
"I think the world needs good men as much as great ones."
"Thank you. But Marie never saw it that way." Sorrow closed in around him again. Nile got up. "You should go find your seat if the ceremony hasn't already started."
"Are you coming?" She stood.
"I think I'll find some coffee, like you suggested." He looked at her, and smiled a little. "Thank you, Petra." She nodded, turned to go. "If you ever need anything, let me know."
"Hmm?" She turned around. Nile appeared serious.
"You were kind when no one else was. So. If you ever need a favor, let me know."
It was, frankly, a bizarre thing to say. But as Nile walked away, staggering a little from the drink, she held his words in her mind, made sure to remember them. Why, she could not say.
Where the hell was Petra? Levi glared at the empty seat beside him. Hange jabbed his ribs, seated on his other side.
"Hey! It's starting!"
He almost jabbed her back, but instead turned his attention to the altar. A priest in old robes the color of parchment appeared. The priest shuffled over to light incense thuribles, then swung one around and around as he walked about the altar three times. The air filled with sickly-sweet smoke. Levi winced, tried not to cough. He hated smells like this.
The priest then put down the thurible and lifted his hands. He began to speak-sing in words that sounded like Eldian, but with something weird. The vowels were different, the rhythms of the language off. It was the speech of Old Eldia, from the empire's dawn.
Slowly, Historia and Erwin walked to stand before the priest, each coming from an opposite side of the room. Historia, like Erwin, wore plain white robes and sandals. They stood side by side before the priest, who sang-chanted at them a minute. Then, the king and queen knelt. The old man came back with a bowl of water; he sprinkled some on each of them with what looked like a pine branch. Then he came back with a jar of oil, some of which he smeared on Erwin and then Historia's foreheads. Finally, he took a dagger, came over, and cut the king and queen's palms. Levi saw Historia wince. The priest bound the bleeding hands together, and then took a bolt of white cloth and wrapped it around the hands. He chanted some more, bowed three times, then unwrapped the cloth. He gestured for them to stand, and threw out his arms. Though Levi couldn't understand the language, he knew what this meant: they were married.
The audience applauded, and then Historia looked behind her. A servant came out, bearing a crown upon a velvet pillow. Erwin knelt before his queen—his wife—and bowed his head as she spoke words over him.
She spoke haltingly in the same strange language that the priest had used, though she stumbled on a few words. She seemed nervous, and then relieved when she was done and could rest the crown upon Erwin's bowed head. Levi understood: Historia had the royal blood, not Erwin. Only she could gift royalty to another person.
When the crown touched Erwin's head, he looked up. Instead of kissing his new wife on the lips, he kissed her hand.
Then, still holding her hand, he stood and faced the assembly.
The priest shouted some nonsense words, and then:
"King Erwin, Queen Historia!"
The assembly rose to their feet as one, Levi and Hange lagging a bit. He wasn't sure why they all knew to do that. Maybe it came natural.
"The king! The queen!"
Shouts went up all around the room. Levi didn't shout or cheer. He only watched.
King Erwin Smith descended with his queen in hand. Head erect, the crown comfortable on his brow, he walked Historia down the aisle and back out the door. The crowd followed in their wake, still cheering. Levi and Hange were among the last to go.
"Well." Levi glanced at his friend. "Guess that's that."
"Yeah." She seemed less enthused than he thought she'd be. "Guess it is."
Was she mourning the lost days of their status as equals? Or did Hange feel the way Levi did; that something was just off.
Either way, no use worrying about it now. The past was past. Time to focus on the future.
"Come on." Levi nudged her. "Let's get some tea."
The reception was at the other end of the palace courtyard. Erwin and Historia had both changed from their ancient get ups to more traditional wedding attire. Historia wore a white wedding gown, Erwin a nicely cut white suit. Levi didn't go to the newlyweds immediately; they were surrounded by congratulating admirers, and anyway he caught sight of Petra hanging out on the edges of the room. Levi went to her.
"The fuck were you?" he whispered, more relieved than upset.
"Sorry. I caught sight of Nile and…" She shrugged. "He needed someone to talk to."
Damn angel. Only Petra was enough of a sweetheart to give a shit about a loser like Nile Dok. Levi gave her a quick kiss; he hated public affection.
"You missed a weird show. I was sure they were gonna sacrifice a goat or a titan or some shit."
She laughed, but still looked distant. Nile'd probably made her sad or something. He could be a real whiner. Fuck him.
Levi was ready to take her aside and get her a drink when a servant showed up.
"Captain Ackerman? His Majesty requests your presence."
His Majesty. What the fuck was this world?
"Sure." He kissed Petra's cheek, then went to Erwin. The man stood beside Historia on a raised velvet dais, receiving homage and congratulations alike. Levi pushed through the fawning crowd and strode right up to them. "Majesties. So. Erwin. What do you want?"
His bluntness with royalty made a few of the nearby nobles clutch their pearls, or at least their diamonds. Levi noted a few of the men who'd been angry with Erwin at the last meeting in Mitras were now desperate to get close to him. Heh. Jerks.
"Levi." Erwin smiled, a genuine smile.
"Captain Levi." Historia smiled as well, and he bowed and kissed her hand. The kid was a real queen, and he respected that. Plus, she'd punched him once; he admired her for that, even if it was a weakass punch.
"I wanted a moment of your time," Erwin said. "Walk with me."
And just like that, the king descended among the people and walked away, Levi in tow. There were surprised murmurs and exclamations around them; Historia looked confused. Shit. Erwin was already getting used to being a king and having everyone follow his whims. That'd taken all of five minutes.
"Where're we going?" Levi asked. They headed out of the ballroom, receiving salutes from royal guards as they went. No one suggested the king needed an escort; Levi Ackerman was all the protection anyone would ever need.
"I want to show you something. A surprise." Erwin was wearing that creepy-excited grin again. Shit.
They went to the eastern wing of the palace, and Erwin stopped them before a large, ornate door. It was festooned with gold leaf vines and all that fancy shit.
"What's this?"
"This was the palace chamber of the Heiden family. Lord Heiden was one of the few high lords given his own rooms at court. Come." Erwin opened the door, and Levi followed. The place was sumptuously decorated, with gilt-edged mirrors hanging from walls and silk couches situated on plush, ornamental rugs. The ceiling was fifteen feet high at least, and from what Levi could tell the apartment was huge, vast corridors running in either direction off the main sitting room. Erwin led Levi over to the fireplace, an impressively huge piece of stone masonry. Levi could have slept comfortably inside the grate. "Lord Heiden was one of the lords deposed in the Uprising. His quarters, along with all his estate, have been in control of the crown since."
"Well, sucks to be him."
"Look." Erwin pointed to a wooden carving over the mantel, a shield with two lions flanking it and a green and blue star painted in the center of the shield. "The Heiden crest. Oddly enough for such a powerful family, the Heiden line became ennobled little over a hundred years ago."
"Interesting." It wasn't. Levi frowned when Erwin carefully took up the shield and lifted it away from its hanging. "What're you doing?"
"Look."
Beneath the wooden crest, Levi found one carved out of stone. It was also a shield, only a pair of unicorns flanked this one. On the shield, though faded with age, an axe and sword had been painted, crossed together.
Words in an ancient language had been carved beneath the unicorns' hooves. Erwin translated.
"'Duty Is Freedom.'" He glanced at Levi. "The motto of the Ackermans."
"Huh?" Levi blinked, screwed up his face. "What?"
"This apartment was taken from the Ackerman family when they defied the crown over a century ago. The more research I have done into the secret history of Eldia, the more I have learned about your family, Levi. They were a warrior clan that served the kings and queens of Eldia. They were the kings' right hand men and women for centuries. They were the second most illustrious house in all the Eldian Empire, besides the Fritz family. They were nobility." He nodded, a gleam in his eyes. "Heiden's apartments at court, his houses and his estates were all spoils of war taken from the Ackermans after their fall from grace. They're your birthright, Levi. This place, a house in Mitras, lands in all three of the walls, eight estates in total, five hundred servants and ten thousand acres—"
"Wait." Levi was getting dizzy.
"—and, also, two hundred thousand gold coins per annum. They're yours. All yours."
"Not all mine." He wanted to lash out at Erwin. Levi'd grown up with only the clothes on his back and dirt under his fingernails. You couldn't tell him he was heir to a noble family and now some rich asshole after almost forty years of the life he'd led. "Mikasa's an Ackerman, too."
"Yes. But in our research, we discovered that you stem from the main Ackerman family. Kuchel and Kenny are marked as the great grandchildren of the head Ackerman. Mikasa's an Ackerman with all their abilities, true, but her father came from a cadet family. A branch of the main Ackerman tree. You can give her as much money and land as you'd like, but that choice belongs in only one person's hands: yours."
"I'm a bastard. My mother was an Ackerman, not my father." He wanted to run out of here. Flee. This wasn't real. It was bullshit.
"The head of the Ackerman clan could be male or female at any given time. All they needed was the name, and the blood. You will likely never know your father's name; you're an Ackerman, then."
"Erwin, don't give me all this. I'll just give it right back." He imagined Petra's face when he told her he'd given away a fortune, but he didn't want any fancy lord crap. He hated the nobles; he didn't want to be one of them. "Take the estates and the money and put them into training the new recruits and feeding the miners. Give the houses and shit to someone else."
"You can do anything you want with your property, Levi." Erwin spoke calmly. "I didn't bring you here just to tell you you're rich. The Ackermans were the king's right hand. His shield. Until they rebelled against him, they were the highest-ranking nobles in all Eldia. They sat on the king's council. They protected him. They were his most trusted advisors, precisely because the Founding Titan could not control them. The king always knew that the Ackermans would speak their minds. Levi Ackerman." Erwin grinned, almost mischievous. "Or should I say Lord Levi Ackerman?"
"Do it and I'll cut you off at the knees."
Erwin laughed. "Then, Levi Ackerman, I invite you to become the king's shield once again. Be my second."
"Your second what?"
"My strong right hand. My advisor. I sit on the throne, and you stand beside me. Your bluntness and your inherent decency are my true north star. Protect me and help me protect Eldia and Paradis. Be the second most powerful man on this island. Take up your family's mantle once again. Restore the Ackermans to their rightful place. For Mikasa. For Kuchel."
"You want me to stand next to you?" He felt stupefied.
"I want you to rule at my side. I want you to help oversee my military, my people. I want you to become the man you were born to be." Erwin's smile faded. He was all seriousness now. "Serve the king, and rule alongside him. Save our home. Save our people across the sea." Erwin held out his hand. "Be Eldia's shield."
Levi didn't know what to do with fancy houses and hundreds of thousands of gold pieces. He didn't know what to do with servants and sycophants. But this? This came natural.
This part was in his blood.
Levi knelt at his king's feet, and when Erwin gave his hand Levi kissed it.
"Your Majesty," he said. If the Ackermans shared blood and fighting abilities, they also shared a desire to protect something greater than themselves. And nothing was greater than this man.
"Arise, Lord Ackerman." Erwin grinned again, the mirth restored. "And don't go for my knees."