"Chel! Come back, Chel!" Connie barreled after Kuchel through a pile of autumn leaves. Kuchel toddled along merrily, giggling as she waved an orange and a gold leaf in each hand like celebratory flags. Connie slipped when he tried to grab the baby and landed on the ground with an oof. Sasha came up behind him.
"Fer cryin' out loud, Connie! Captain'll skin us if she gets hurt!" Sasha tried grabbing Kuchel, but the little girl managed to wriggle away and gallop along the lawn, still shrieking with glee.
Petra sat on the porch step, a mug of hot tea in her hands, and tried not to laugh. The two soldiers fussed and shrieked as they tried to catch Kuchel. Finally, Petra put her tea down and stood.
"Kuchel! Be a good girl."
The child stopped at once, still waving her leaves and giggling. Connie and Sasha were going too fast to stop. They swept past the kid, both reaching down for her, and their heads collided hard. They staggered about before toppling to the ground once more. Petra sighed as she went and picked up her daughter.
"Thanks for watching her." Petra smiled.
"N-No problem, lieutenant," Sasha croaked, rubbing her head. "Owww."
Petra shushed Kuchel, bouncing her on her hip as they walked along. They were outside of Oaken Manor, the Ackerman family property up in northern Wall Rose. Levi had come along to oversee its transformation into a convalescent home for impoverished single mothers and prostitutes who wanted a chance at a better life. The estate home itself was a veritable mansion with three hundred rooms, perfect for women and their children. That didn't count the twenty-room guest house, or the servants' cottages, or the farmhouse. The Ackermans had been staying in the farmhouse while plans went into effect half a mile away at the main residence. Petra much preferred the farmhouse to the mansion. It was rustic and cozy here, close to the apple orchard and the cows. Kuchel loved the crisp air and golden fields. Her daughter seemed more at home in the country than the city.
Maybe we should think about moving up here permanently, once Erwin's plans are finished.
Erwin had been king of Paradis for a month now. It was mid November, and the trees were losing the bright October color and deepening into a richer bronze and ochre.
Levi, Petra, and Kuchel had come, along with Mikasa, Eren, Sasha and Connie. Queen Historia was visiting, too, while her husband remained down south. Jean and Floch were still down in Trost as personal assistants to the king. Petra set her daughter down and smiled as Kuchel toddled off to find some new adventure. Brigitta had knitted the child a bright crimson sweater, turning her into a brilliant little dab of color against the autumn background.
Petra chewed her lip as she thought, gazing out across the deepening afternoon fields. The mansion gleamed white far away.
This was how Levi wanted to spend his inheritance. He'd already given Historia the Ackerman lands in Sina to use for more orphanages and hospitals. At Petra's request, he'd kept the house in Mitras and the palace apartment. He knew his wife loved the capital, and didn't mind giving her something beautiful there. Other than that, Petra stood behind him entirely in his philanthropy.
Mikasa had refused land, though Levi forced her to take a yearly allowance. He was giving away as much of his gold as he could, but even with five estates turned into charitable institutions he still had almost half of his annual income leftover. Turned out it was difficult to spend two hundred thousand pieces of gold a year. Even when you added in the servants' wages (Levi had only maintained basic ownership of the properties to ensure no one got fired or their wages cut), he still had over eighty-five thousand for himself. The average family on Paradis lived between two and three thousand a year.
When Ingrid found out Petra had married into the upper echelon of nobility by accident, she began to view her son in law in a whole different light.
'You're Lady Ackerman?' Mama had gaped when Petra explained, almost embarrassed by the fuss. 'A real lady.' Ingrid had appeared blissfully shocked. After a lifetime spent reading the society pages and dreaming of the rich and titled, she found herself suddenly enmeshed in that world. Ingrid thought it was a dream come true.
And Levi looked upon all the money as a millstone around his neck.
"Mumma! Ahh! Mumma!" Kuchel bounded back to Petra, then tripped and fell. She started to cry, more out of surprise than pain. Petra picked up the child and kissed her cheek as Connie and Sasha raced over.
"We didn't do it!" Connie shrieked.
"I don't wanna die!" Sasha wailed, clutching her head.
"See how naughty you are? You make your auntie and uncle cry," Petra whispered, nuzzling Kuchel. The girl stopped crying, and hiccupped adorably. Petra gave Kuchel to Sasha, who breathed easier when the baby laughed…and then winced when Kuchel gave her ponytail a sharp tug. Kuchel was not prone to being gloomy, or to keeping her hands to herself.
Connie and Sasha walked away, fussing over the child. Petra looked around, and thought again about retiring here. They could raise Kuchel in the country.
Maybe another little brother or sister as well.
Kuchel was a year and a half old now, and Petra was already starting to miss the baby days. Another little one would be good for her daughter. Children really should have siblings if at all possible.
But…
I'm not going to miss the last big push due to pregnancy again.
A year. Erwin said that was how long it would take. Petra could wait. She tugged up her scarf as a chill wind rippled across the field, and headed towards the barn. Levi and Mikasa would be out there. He was stepping up her training, since only she could work at his level. The two would likely never be friends, but Kuchel had softened Mikasa, and she was also grateful for and confused about the money Levi gave her.
Petra walked up to the barn's entrance, enjoying the musky smell of horses and hay. She heard the animals blustering inside; she'd have to feed them soon. Didn't matter if she was now a lady, she hated sitting idle. She liked for her hands to be doing things. That was one of the reasons she and Levi got on so well. They were both doers.
Mikasa and Levi weren't there, but Petra could hear the echo of their voices coming from the back of the barn. She headed around the side, and stopped.
Historia was seated upon a bale of hay. She was dressed in her customary farmer's clothes—a queen Petra could relate to. Historia worried her lip as she watched Eren, who knelt before her.
His head was bowed, his eyes closed. He had her hands cupped in his. At any other time, this would have looked like a romantic scene, but Petra knew that when Eren's Coordinate interacted with royal blood, he could see fragments of memory. PATHS. It spooked Petra; what did that mean for an afterlife? Was PATHS heaven? Or hell?
Is Oruo there?
The thought almost made her cry. She shook her head, and gently approached the young man and woman.
"Hello. Sorry," Petra said when Eren gave a start and released Historia's hands. They both looked up at her. Historia's wide blue eyes seemed concerned but relatively untroubled.
Eren's green eyes somehow looked both dead and feverishly energized. Petra really didn't spend enough time with him. He'd confided in her once. But she found he scared her a little; she didn't want his confidence.
That wasn't kind if he was hurting.
"Captain and Mikasa are around back," Eren said. He got up and trudged down the hill while Historia hemmed and hawed a bit. Petra bowed to the queen, then went after Eren.
"Hey!" The wind whipped her hair, blowing it into her eyes. She combed it out of the face with both hands. Eren kept his back to her, but he'd stopped. What should she say to him? Just be direct. "What were you, uh, looking at?"
"The information's still scattered." His voice was lifeless. "I can't see anything fully yet."
That's a lie.
"Eren. If you ever want to talk…" He turned and faced her, his brow furrowed. "I want to know how I can help you."
His face grew more troubled. He seemed to waver on the verge of saying something…but then shut down again.
"I'll talk to you about it one day." He shook his head. "That's all I can say for now."
"Eren!"
But he walked away, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched. That boy. A rare combination of anger and kindness. It troubled Petra, but she decided again not to tell Levi. Not until she had concrete proof that something was truly wrong, that this wasn't simply an adolescent phase.
Though Eren was almost eighteen. The teenage rebellion couldn't last much longer.
Petra walked back around the barn, and this time saw her husband and Mikasa. They both moved like shadows, their practiced combat so swift and smooth it had a balletic grace. Levi was teaching her the finer points of his bladework with the two swords, one turned around. It wasn't as useful now they didn't have to fight titans, but with the Ackerman speed and strength it was still a formidable attack.
"Good," Levi said gruffly as Mikasa whirled through the air. "Keep the right arm down. Let the left guide you into the turn. It's gotta feel like you're the sword, not the one wielding it."
"Mmm." Mikasa landed and tried again, whirling like a dervish this time. Petra had to gape at her. The biological reality most women faced wasn't a rule for this girl. Unlike Petra, Mikasa could go toe to toe with a six foot wall of muscle and finish him with one punch.
Sometimes Petra was a little jealous. If she had power like that, the Fischers of this world couldn't threaten her.
Though you still killed him.
She pushed the thought away and smiled. "Hey! What do you say we head back to the house? The sun's going down, and I have to keep Sasha away from the stew." It'd been slow cooking all day. Sasha had sat on the countertop for a while just gazing into the pot. Petra had feared she'd stick her hand in.
"Oi. Don't forget to stretch and cool down," Levi said as Mikasa picked up their practice gear. The cousins looked dispassionately at one another, but Petra heard the faintest trace of pride in his voice. "You're getting to not be shit."
What a compliment.
"Thank you." Mikasa gave Petra a smile and walked away, the wooden swords over her shoulders. Now that they were alone, Levi would be more receptive to affection. He pulled her into his arms, and their kiss lasted long enough to make her toes curl. He tasted cool, and fresh as the autumn wind.
"How's Kuchel?"
"Connie and Sasha have her."
"Oh fuck."
"Relax. They're taking good care of her." They walked back, arms around each other. "I think Connie especially likes babysitting."
"Mmm. Good."
He'd never say it aloud, but Levi always tried to keep an eye on Connie. The kid had lost his whole family—his titanized mother might never be human again. Sometimes, around the holidays, Petra would see the normally gregarious boy brood. Levi always tried to ask Connie to tea at their house when that happened. He complimented Connie's progress more. He wasn't the type to talk about the problem unless there was no other way, but he'd fix whatever he could. She kissed his cheek as they walked.
"What's that for?" he asked slyly.
"I think I might love you."
"You poor crazy girl."
Sasha stood on the farmhouse porch and rang the brass bell over and over. "Stew's ready! Come get it now or it's mine!"
That wasn't a joke.
"Think we should hurry?" Petra asked.
"Tch. I don't run for any brats." He paused. "You can save me a bowl, though."
Petra rolled her eyes and laughed as she trotted off to wrangle Sasha and supper.
"You're making that story up, Connie!" Sasha cried, indignation and fear mixing in her voice as they sat around the fire that night.
"Nope. It's all real. Dangling from the carriage's handle…was a hook! My third grade teacher's nephew told me that it happened to his cousin's friend."
"Oh man." Sasha paled. "Then it definitely happened! Think a hooked madman'll attack us tonight?"
"If I'm fucking lucky," Levi muttered under his breath. Petra kicked him gently under the table, and batted her lashes when he glared.
It was after supper and washing up. Levi and Petra sat at the table with cups of tea, while the teens played with Kuchel in front of the fire. They roasted chestnuts (Connie screamed when one was too hot, but Sasha ate it anyway) and told ridiculous ghost stories.
Connie and Sasha did most of the talking. Eren, Mikasa, and Historia all remained a bit withdrawn, though Historia at least laughed along with Connie's antics. It was good to see her smile like that. She was a queen and a wife, but she was also a seventeen year old girl.
As for Eren and Mikasa…whenever Petra saw them together, she felt as if there was a hole in the fabric of reality where Armin should have been. The boy was long dead, buried with honors, yet thought of him pained her. Even though Erwin had been the logical choice…
Levi had said that he knew in his gut he'd made the wrong decision.
You're just being silly.
Mikasa toyed with her scarf. Eren continued to stare at the floor, though he smiled when Kuchel crawled into his lap.
"Es dough hooma?" she said. Or something like that. When Eren reached for her, she rolled away. "No! No bath." 'No' was Kuchel's new favorite word. 'No bath' was her favorite phrase, to Levi's eternal chagrin. Kuchel continued playing, giggling as she ran up to Eren, then giggling as she ran away when he tried to grab her. The boy's eyes came alive fully. He didn't get to play or enjoy himself very often. Maybe ever.
Poor kid.
"Gotcha!" Eren scooped Kuchel up to her delight. She wiggled and screamed 'Era!' and then laughed raucously when he tickled her. Mikasa smiled and Historia also got in on the action, pinching Kuchel's cheeks. There was something about a baby that lightened even the weariest load.
"Everyone loves her a lot." Petra sighed.
"Well, they should. She's perfect," Levi said with utmost confidence. He sipped his tea, and placed a hand on her knee under the table so the kids couldn't notice. "She'll get spoiled, all this attention."
"She's spoiled already, but I don't mind."
Petra studied her husband's face in the candlelight. His expression was still the surly one she'd come to know and fear during her early days in the military, but now that she knew him better there was also the softness that had been just as obvious if you knew where to look. When Levi gazed at those he cared about, there was the smallest flicker of light in his eye. Blink, you'd miss it. But it was there.
But when Levi frowned, as he did now, it could freeze the blood in your veins.
"Oi. Eren." He got up from the table. "What're you doing?"
Eren and Historia had stopped moving. They were both still touching Kuchel, who was unharmed but growing cranky with not being tickled. Eren stared at the baby with wide eyes, an almost horrified look. Petra got up and instantly scooped Kuchel out of Eren's grasp. When his hands left the child, Eren's face lost its fear. He rubbed his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he muttered. Mikasa was at his side instantly.
"Eren?" she asked.
"What's wrong?" Levi stood over Eren as Petra bounced Kuchel, who'd gone back to happily babbling and yanking her mother's hair. Made it hard to listen.
"Just…got lost in thought." Eren looked up, a sheepish expression on his face. Levi was the one person Eren never got broody with. "Sorry, Captain."
Sasha, Connie, and Historia watched in utter silence. A log snapped in the fireplace.
"Tch. I get it. It's a phase." Levi always said that about anything Eren did that was odd. Levi must have had a lot of phases as an adolescent. "Maybe you're tired from cleaning out the mansion." Levi had set his squad to dusting the hundreds of rooms. At some point, Connie had fallen asleep with a feather duster clutched tight in his grip. "All you brats, get to bed." He lifted a brow. "You can do whatever you want, your Majesty."
Historia only smiled. She got up and walked with Eren up the stairs, talking quietly. Mikasa was in hot pursuit, almost breathing down the queen's neck. Petra didn't even want to think about the oddity of that particular triangle, though Erwin had said men weren't Historia's type.
"Mumma?" Kuchel patted her cheek. "No bath!"
"Yes bath. Bath right now," Levi said, taking the baby and walking away.
An hour later, Petra and Levi lay together snug in their own bed. The farmhouse had three bedrooms, and theirs was the largest. The walls were rustic wood paneling, the blanket flannel. Petra laid her cheek against his chest, luxuriating in the furnace-like heat of his body. Outside, a naked tree branch tapped against the window. Idly, she remembered Connie's story about the hook-handed madman and got irritated with herself for feeling a little nervous.
"Kuchel loves it up here," she murmured. Somewhere on the opposite side of the wall, Connie and Sasha were arguing over pillows. Kuchel, Historia, and Mikasa bunked together in one room, leaving the other three the one right next to the master bedroom. Petra felt no concern at all about letting Sasha sleep with the two boys. She only feared the girl might get hungry in the night and try gnawing on someone's leg.
That was only sort of a joke.
Levi pounded on the wall. "I hear another word, someone's ass is sleeping in the barn."
Dead silence from then on.
"I always knew you'd be a wonderful father." Petra grinned as he held her tighter. "You love those kids."
"Tch. They're hardened soldiers. Besides, I've had squads before." A squad. Petra's heart sank to recall it.
"You took us on when we were almost twenty. You've had these kids since they were fifteen. It's different." She kissed his chest. Levi grunted in appreciation. "They adore you."
"Tch. They're scared of me." But he couldn't hide the pleased little smile.
"That's the biggest reason I fell in love with you." She kissed his lips. "You care so much."
"Puh. Not that much." His hand grabbed her ass, and he squeezed. "Wondering how quiet we can fuck," he muttered.
"Uh. Not that quiet." On the other side of the wall, Connie sounded afraid.
"Shut up and go to sleep!" Levi barked, face red. Petra buried her face in a pillow and giggled. They lay there another fifteen minutes, until they heard Sasha's snore.
"Do you think Erwin's plan is going to work?" she whispered.
"Probably. It's Erwin."
"How is he going to turn the world around in a single year?"
"I have to trust in him. He's the only man who could do it." He glanced at the wall, where Eren slept on the opposite side. "Whenever I feel bad about Armin, I remember how far we've come."
Yes. It had been the right choice, if painful. He stroked her hair with his rough hand. His hands were the only part of him that looked his age, maybe older. His palm and the pads of his fingers were white with calluses, and the skin on his knuckles appeared cracked. Veins were prominent on the backs of his hands and wrists. Petra kissed his fingers.
"If it works, and he somehow manages to save us all, then what? Could we move to the country? Maybe here, and work on a farm or oversee the convalescent home?"
"Or open a tea shop," he said.
"I want to raise Kuchel in the fresh air. I was a city kid."
"So was I," Levi said. "There're good things about being one, I guess, but…" He was clearly mulling it over. "I can't quit the Guard, though. Not even if Erwin gets us our peace. The situation'll be too fragile."
Yes. That made sense. Reluctantly, Petra hugged him. Then, whispering in his ear that he had to make absolutely no noise on pain of death, she kissed down his stomach and slid his underwear off.
True to his word, Levi didn't make a sound when he came, but she felt the bed vibrate. He gripped fistfuls of the sheets. Petra wiped her mouth and lay beside him, pleased with how spent he looked.
"Think you'll sleep well tonight?" she whispered.
"Yeah. After this." He slid along her body, kissing a line down her stomach while wearing a smirk. "Your turn."
Petra also managed to be quiet. Just.
When she woke up, it was still pitch black outside. She sat up, heart pounding as she wrenched herself from the dream. She'd dreamed of a titan staring in at the window where she sat with Kuchel, unable to move. The titan tapped on the glass, looking to get in.
Tap. Tap.
She nearly screamed until she remembered the branch outside. Ugh. Well, at least now she knew where the dream had come from. Remarkably, Levi slept on. Normally he'd be the one to start awake with nightmares, but she'd knocked him out admirably. Grinning, Petra slipped out of bed and put on her robe. She wasn't going to sleep anytime soon, so she might as well light a lamp and head downstairs. She could read for a while.
She crept into the hallway, lit her lamp, and closed the door without a sound. But she noticed at once that something was off.
Someone had already lit a lamp downstairs.
And they were crying. Shit. Petra quickly went down to find Eren sitting on the sofa. He cradled a sleeping Kuchel in his arms.
He was sobbing. He was doing his best not to make noise, but the tears raced down his cheeks. He bent over her, a vein in the center of his forehead throbbing.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry," he whispered. Petra burst into the room.
"What the fuck is going on?" she growled. If he hadn't been holding her child, she might've been kinder, but this creepy shit was not going to involve Kuchel.
Eren gaped at her. Petra hastily took Kuchel from him, and the baby began to fuss as she woke. Petra bounced and shushed her, furious. If they woke the whole house…
"What were you doing to her?" Petra snapped.
"Nothing. I haven't done anything."
Something about the way he said it—I haven't done anything—caught her ear. It sounded like the word 'yet' should be at the end of that sentence.
"Why did you take her?"
"I just…" Eren put his face in his hands, dug his fingers through his hair. "Oh god. Oh god."
"Eren." Now that her daughter was secure, Petra's compassion returned. She sat beside him on the couch. "You have to talk to me about what's going on."
He was still a moment. Finally, he looked up at her.
"When Zeke gets to the island, please bring me to him."
"Why?"
"I…I can't tell you. Oh god." He started rocking back and forth, his face in his hands. "He fucked it up so bad. If I can't fix it…"
"Who fucked what up? Talk to me!" she hissed. But Eren only remained motionless. She sighed. "I'm putting her back to bed. You'd better still be here when I return."
He was. Eren had calmed down a lot. His face wasn't panicked any longer, but determined. Petra gave him her full attention.
"Who fucked what up?"
"I really can't tell you. I just need you to trust me."
"How can I?"
"Because I'm trying my best to save everyone!" He whisper-shouted at her, the panic back. Fuck, this scared her. Maybe it'd been a mistake not telling Levi about the boy's episodes. "For your daughter's sake, bring me to Zeke when he arrives on the island."
"Why?" She thought it through. Eren's Coordinate powers could only be activated by touching a titan of royal blood. He wanted to do something. But what?
A cold idea crept over her.
"Eren," she whispered. "If you're thinking about activating that rumbling thing—"
"Fuck the rumbling, this is bigger than that." He rose up, furiously leering at her. The gentle boy was gone; the monster Levi had spoken of from time to time replaced him.
"What are you talking about?"
"I. Can't. Tell you. If I tell you, it's not going to work. Oh god won't anybody please believe in me? Just once? Please!"
He crumpled again, sat on the floor and started to cry again. His emotions were erratic, flitting about like paper caught in a high wind. Petra got on the floor next to him and touched his shoulder.
"I believe in you. So do Levi and Erwin. Hange. We all believe in you." She gripped his arm. "But you have to believe in us, too. You have to trust us."
"You don't understand." He sounded lifeless now. Defeated. "It's not your fault."
"Tomorrow morning, I want us to talk to Levi. He can help you sort whatever this is out."
He yanked away from her and stood.
"If you get Levi involved, I can't protect Kuchel," he said.
"What?" She reared up again, all softness departing whenever her child was in the slightest way threatened. "What the fuck did you just say?" Eren was silent. "You know, maybe we ought to wake Levi now. He'll want to hear this." She started for the staircase.
"Before you killed Fischer in his office, he said he was going to ask the Marleyan government to let him have you for his experiments. He said his two test subjects were getting stale."
Petra's entire body froze.
"What the…?"
"Mrs. Tybur was drunk that night. She cried when you put her to bed. She said that if she hadn't found you in "Kenny's" room, they would have suspected you of setting Fischer's house on fire."
"Who told you? Zeke?" That bastard ape. But…
No. Zeke hadn't been there for her conversation with Fischer. She was sure of it. And he certainly hadn't been there with Giulia. She hadn't told Levi those details.
How… Who…
"If you get Levi involved, I can't help any longer." Eren approached her, steely determination in his eyes. He was at this moment more of an adult than she. Impossibly old. "If you want to save Kuchel, Armin, and all the rest, you have to stay quiet and take me to Zeke when the time comes."
Petra swallowed. "A-Armin? But he's dead."
She began to shake. Eren's expression was unreadable.
"Armin is your son," he said.
She shut down completely then. Her son? What? How? How did Eren…? What?
Eren walked past a numb Petra, headed for the stairs. "Make your choice. But know that if you tell Levi, I can't save them." He stared at her. "We're in this together now, Petra. You started it. You have to stop it."
"I…"
"One other thing. From now on, no more questions. It's too dangerous for both of us."
She had no words.
He left her standing in the living room, the lamp casting enormous shadows on the wall.
Soon after, Petra staggered up to bed. She blew out the lamp and slipped in beside her husband. Her chin shook. She wanted to cry, or scream. What had just happened?
Was he crazy? But how could he know those things? How could he know? Maybe Inga had told Zeke about Fischer, but why word for word? And absolutely no one had seen her with Giulia.
If Eren wasn't crazy, then he was…something else. No, he had to be crazy. He had to be…
"Hmmph?" Levi roused beside her. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Wha? What're you doing up?"
"I had a nightmare," she said quietly. "It really shook me, so I went downstairs to try reading."
"Hmm." He lay down, pulled her into his embrace. "Want to talk about it?"
Petra thought. She thought of Zeke's threats and Eren's promise.
To save Kuchel and Armin… Her son…
If you tell Levi, I can't save them.
"Oi. Petra?" She heard the frown in his voice. "Want to talk?"
"No," Petra whispered. "There's nothing to talk about."