Petra gasped as she lay pinned beneath him, running her fingers up and down the sweaty line of his back. She felt boneless now, and could have shut her eyes and gone right to sleep. They hadn't had sex three times in a row in ages. It was paradise.

"Oh, fuck," Levi whispered.

"Yes, we did." She giggled when he groaned at the bad joke.

"Think I got you pregnant?" He cupped her breast and kissed her. The early afternoon light came in softly through the window. The farmhouse got such beautiful light in springtime.

"You certainly did your best. We'll see." Petra sighed as he propped himself onto his elbows to look down at her. She traced some sweaty locks of black hair from his eyes. She loved the way he looked at her just after sex. In everyday life, his eyes were narrowed and flat. When it was just them, naked and vulnerable together, he looked free. Easy. So young. "I just wish we could try more consistently."

"Yeah. Me too."

Six months had passed, and still she wasn't pregnant. They weren't afraid there was anything wrong with her, it was just that Erwin's wars of expansion kept taking him away from home for days, sometimes weeks at a time. Fortunately, they'd now taken almost all of Aeropa. Levi had a two week leave this time, the most he'd had in ages. It was the second to last day of his leave, and the grandparents had taken Kuchel so that the two of them could have some alone time.

Baby making time.

"But this time, I'm sure it'll work." She kissed him. The sweat was already cooling on her skin.

"Let's have a bath." He sounded as erotically thrilled at the idea of bathing as he had getting her naked.

"Well. We have spent most of the day in bed." He'd woken her near dawn, and they'd had sex. Then she'd fallen back asleep, and when they woke up they had sex again. Then she managed to make some tea and bring it to bed before they had sex three more times. The tea was now cold on the nightstand. Oh well. "We should probably eat at some point."

"Bath first."

"You know if you sit in hot water on an empty stomach you can pass out."

"I hate science. I need to get clean."

"You make it sound like I'm so dirty."

"You're the only dirty thing I like."

She grinned. "What about Kuchel when she rolls around in the mud?"

Their daughter had gotten to do her best pig imitation the day before yesterday. Levi had almost started crying; she'd seen him fight the horrified tears.

"I like her a little less when she does that."

"Liar." She kissed his nose. "Okay. Start the bath. I'll go downstairs and make us some sandwiches. We do have to eat."

Levi got up and opened the door to the bathroom. Ugh, watching that man walk around naked was like drooling at a living statue. His back and ass could have been chiseled from marble. Petra stretched when she heard the hot water running, put on a robe, and went downstairs.

Yes, when the wars were finally won and they'd both retired from the military, they'd make the northern Wall Rose farm their permanent family home. There was enough room for multiple kids, plenty of fresh air, and lots of idyllic countryside. Petra opened up the icebox in the kitchen—another nice thing about Paradis taking its place in the world; iceboxes and automobiles. She picked out some ham, cut slices of bread, grabbed lettuce and tomatoes as well. She cut up some sandwiches and found a jar of mustard. As she made lunch, she glanced out the window. The fields were green now, the trees in full fragrant bloom. She opened the window and felt the spring wind tease her hair. It smelled floral, that wind. She shut her eyes.

Petra made a decision. She took out a wicker basket from the cupboard, loaded the sandwiches into it. There was a bottle of wine still unopened; she packed it, and a couple of glasses. She grabbed a tiny seed cake and packed it as well. Maybe there'd be wild strawberries growing. They could pick some.

"Levi?" She went up to the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the tub, trailing his hand through the water to test it. He looked up. "After the bath, why don't we go for a picnic? The day's perfect."

He frowned. "Kinda thought after the bath and lunch we'd fuck some more."

The most romantic man on earth. She stifled a giggle.

"Did you know there's no law against fucking outside on your own property?"

He looked astonished at the idea.

"But…there are bugs."

"They don't mind."

"Tch. Crazy girl. What if they get all over the food? Or us?"

"Honey, what kind of bugs do you think we have on the farm? They're not going to devour us the minute we take our underwear off."

"Look, eating outside's bad enough." Honestly, he could be such a priss. It was another thing she loved about him: the badass alpha world beater who loved laundry and baths and hated insects.

"Well, let's just go for the picnic. At worst, it'll take an hour and then we'll come right back here."

He narrowed his eyes. "This'd make you happy?"

"Yes." She loved picnics. "Plus, we haven't had a chance to ride together for a while."

They both loved horseback riding. It was one of the passions that bound them together.

"Yeah. Okay. But first, take off your robe."

He looked at her hungrily as Petra slipped the robe from her shoulders and stepped into the tub. After some sloshing, they arranged themselves. She lay against his chest. They rested in the bath, the steam relaxing them further. She traced her fingers along his arm.

"I want life to be like this all the time," she said.

"It will be."

Yes, when the wars were over. Erwin had said a year. But Erwin said a lot of things. One relief Petra had was that Erwin always went into battle with his troops. It was good that the king fought alongside his people, and secretly, it was a relief not to have to be around Erwin without Levi there. The king had never done anything to her, and always been respectful. But she could feel the hunger in his gaze when she wasn't looking his way. He and Marie lived separate lives now, and Petra knew he craved closeness.

But she didn't tell Levi that. There was nothing to tell.

She soaped a washcloth in the clean, white soap he loved so much. Levi didn't smell of whiskey or tobacco like other men; he smelled of leather harness, soap, and powder. She loved his particular scent, the same way he loved her lilac and lavender. She started to wash him, which always made him so happy. She felt his erection developing rapidly.

"Why do you always get hard when I get the soap out?" She laughed and kissed him.

"You're sexiest when you're cleaning."

He rinsed off, then washed her down. After that, she straddled him in the tub, and five minutes later they finished at the same time.

"I really am getting light headed now," she gasped.

"Least we don't have to clean up." He kissed her shoulder. "Let's go."

They drained the tub, got dressed, and went downstairs. Petra took the picnic basket and they walked to the barn. Their horses were stabled alongside each other. Levi's horse nickered with glee when she saw him. He stroked her muzzle and brought her out. Petra loved the musk and hay smell of a stable, the clop of a horse's hooves on the floor.

"Maybe we could turn this place into a horse farm when we leave the military," she said.

"Think I'd like that." Levi seemed pleased with the idea. "Isabel always loved animals. She'd have loved that."

Petra always gave him a moment when he discussed Isabel. He'd clear his throat when he was ready to talk again.

They saddled up and rode out. Petra whooped with glee as they charged across the field and towards the forest. The green scent of the earth was most potent in spring. The wind whipped through her hair. Levi and his horse rode alongside her. Petra took the reins in one hand, cupped the other around her mouth, and shouted.

"Race you to the river."

"Oi! Crazy brat," he shouted when she sped up. Petra laughed as he chased her, but she knew he enjoyed it. Her horse blustered as they cut across another field and headed along the edge of the forest, skirting around until they found the dirt path that led to the river. They slowed a bit, cantering along the path until she heard the rush of water. She groaned as Levi appeared up ahead, just stopping his horse near the riverbank. He'd found another shortcut. The jerk. "Tch. When're you gonna stop acting like a damn kid?" he grumbled, hiding his smile. She jumped off the horse.

"When will you stop being such a grouchy old man?" She stuck out her tongue as they tied up their horses and let them graze. She took out the blanket she'd brought and spread it near the riverbank. Dappled sunlight shimmered on the ground. She set down the basket and placed the sandwiches and wine.

"There was a time when you were real polite to me." He lay out on his side. Petra uncorked the wine and poured.

"Yes, back when you were intimidating."

"I'm still intimidating."

"Yes, but not to me." She smiled to see how he sulked at that. "Do you want me to be intimidated by my own husband?"

"Well."

"I still admire you. You still amaze me." She handed him a glass. "Isn't that better?"

"Eh." But he'd perked up considerably. Petra took a bite of her sandwich. "Think I was always intimidated by you, actually," he said.

Her mouth nearly fell open. She chewed instead. "Hmm?"

"You were always so fucking gorgeous and confident. I was afraid what you'd think of me. Being a crass, shitty old man and all." He sounded flippant as he said it, but she could see the tips of his ears turn pink. She kissed his cheek.

"I always thought you were the bravest man I'd ever met."

"Hmmph." He ate quietly. After a minute, he said, "That's why I fell in love with you."

"Huh?" She'd told Levi how she fell in love with him, but he'd never told her when and why he had with her.

"It was your third mission or something. Not the one you pissed your pants on. Ugh. Disgusting." She pursed her lips. "No, the one when that friend of yours from training, Kristoph?"

"Yeah." She drooped a bit, as she always did when recalling a dead friend.

"You cut down the titan that crushed his back. Never seen anything so fierce in my life. You had real fire in your eyes. That was your first solo kill, wasn't it?" She nodded. "But then later, when he was dying in the tent, I came in and saw you holding his hand. You were crying."

"I've always had a hard time keeping my feelings to myself," she muttered.

"Did I say it was a bad thing? No, first I saw you brave and fiery. Then I saw you soft and tender. And when I realized you were both of those things, I don't know. You were everything I'd ever wanted." He drained the rest of his wine, perhaps to avoid speaking further. Petra sniffed, and wiped her eyes. "Fuck. You crying already?"

"Yes, but only because I'm happy."

"I make you happy, brat? Still?" He said it nonchalantly, but she heard the hesitation. His soft little underbelly, which came out for a select few, was close. She put the wine to the side and scooted across the blanket to him. Petra kissed his lips, and tasted the wine.

"I didn't think anyone could be this happy for this long. I love you all the time. I love you when you're stone cold and fighting; I love you when you're telling Kuchel a bedtime story. I love you when you're angry and when you're sweet. There's nothing you could do that could make me not love you."

"Hmm." He grunted, his eyes cold and closed off. She knew it was to avoid showing how much he felt. "C'mere."

Levi did not express his love with words very much. But he did with his actions. His body. He held her and kissed her tenderly. It wasn't the kiss of lust—not right away. He kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, the tip of her nose. He kissed her forehead, her chin, her lips. He framed her face in his hands and kissed her like she was the most precious thing on earth. He was the most dutiful man she'd ever known. He loved his people; he loved his king; he loved his child; and he loved her. What he loved, he loved completely.

"Sometimes," he muttered, her tight in his arms, his lips on the top of her head, "sometimes I feel bad."

"Bad?"

"I think of all the people I knew underground. Better than me. Furlan. He was kinder, way kinder. But he died and never got to have something like this. Eld died, left his girl all alone. Why do I get this when they don't?"

"Are you regretting things? For them, I mean."

"Tch. No. No regrets. But it just reminds me how fucking random and shitty life usually is."

He always thought hardship was around the corner, and loss. Life had been giving Levi more than it had been taking recently. Her husband grew nervous when he received good things. They could disappear.

Petra sighed. She thought. "Some people never get what Eld had with Katrina, though. Some people never get saved like Isabel when you found her. I think you just take what you can when you can have it and enjoy it. After all, some of those people in the underground had parents who raised them. Mothers who didn't die; uncles who weren't…Kenny. You didn't get that. No one gets everything."

"Yeah. But I wish they would, if they deserve it." It was the closest to his own philosophy he'd ever come. She kissed him again.

"You know what I love most? I know something most other people never will. I know you're the sweetest, kindest man who's probably ever lived."

"Eh, that's bullshit."

"No, it isn't. You're the best father I've ever seen. That's why I can't wait to have more children with you. The world needs more people like you."

"Tch. Shut up," he grouched, but his pale face was turning red. She kissed him again.

"I've only ever loved you. I'll only ever love you. Nothing can change that."

"You don't know."

"I do." She kissed him deeply. His tongue stroked hers. She straddled him, peppered kisses all over his face as he pressed his cheek to her breast. He sighed as he listened to her heartbeat. Petra smiled as he hitched up her short skirt, as he slipped his hand between her legs. It took very little work to remove her underwear and to unbuckle him. Levi gasped as she slid down around him slowly. She rode him gently at first. There was something so wonderful about making love out in the open, with the burble of the river the only sound. "I'll never get enough of you."

"Pet." His eyes shut. He made soft, astonished noises as she fucked him. She cupped the back of his head, laced her fingers together. She tilted her head to the sky, inhaled the spring air. She breathed in the scent of the earth. She began to flush with excitement as she rode faster. "If I ever lost this, I'd fucking die," he rasped.

"You'll never lose me."

He held her close, kissed and licked her chest as he unbuttoned her. He kissed the hollow of her throat.

"I want you to get pregnant with my baby," he whispered. She felt him stiffen in her. "I want to see a piece of me swell inside you again."

"I want it too. Oh," she moaned as she came. She sighed as he finished, as she felt him fill the lonely space inside her. She rubbed his back. "I love how you talk when we have sex," she said dreamily. "You say you don't have good words, but you're wrong. You could make me come just by talking."

"Yeah. But that's not as much fun as actually fucking you."

They got dressed again and lay on the blanket staring up at the canopy of trees. Levi grunted as he looked around.

"No bugs. So far, so good." She laughed.

"I love seeing you so relaxed."

"Yeah." He exhaled deeply. Like he was deflating. "Glad Erwin gave me this much time off. It's been…kind of rough."

They didn't talk about the wars unless he broached the subject.

"It's harder than titans?"

"Not physically. But even knowing titans were people…at least they weren't themselves anymore, y'know? In a lot of ways, killing them was putting them out of their misery. Didn't feel good, but at least I could tell myself I was helping them somehow. Now, though, so many people… I killed before, of course. I'm happy to be a fucking lunatic if it means giving us all some goddamn peace. But sometimes when the battles are all over…"

"What?" She felt him tense.

"I have to go after our own troops. Erwin's gotten me out of getting fucking court martialed more than once."

"Why?"

"The troops…mostly the Marleyans, but sometimes the Paradisians, too. They think they got a right to the prisoners. Y'know. Fucking them up. Or just…fucking them." He gripped her; she felt the slightest tremor in his hands. "Had to save more than a few girls. Last time I nearly killed a guy. A Marleyan. Erwin almost couldn't save me after that."

"Levi." She sat up and looked down on her husband in horror. In his stoic gaze, she saw flickers of misery. "I didn't know. How long has this been happening?"

"Since we started conquering. Erwin'd call it 'liberating the Eldians' but I know what it is. And I get it. If we want to save our people, the only way to do it is to bring the world to heel. There's no other way. Fuck it, I wish there were. But…" He shut his eyes then. She waited for several minutes. "I keep telling myself it'll end someday. But when does someday fucking get here?"

Petra fought tears and kissed his forehead.

"You're a good, just man who's saved innocent people."

"But not all," he said darkly. His brow furrowed. "You know well as I do there've been family men who've had their teeth knocked out, or worse. Civilian girls who…" He couldn't say it. "Erwin's good about it, I mean. Any looting or raping or murdering, he puts them in jail. Hangs them. He won't stand for it."

"I know he won't."

"But he also told me some of it's going to happen no matter what we do. He looks as sick as I feel. Hange, too. But we can't…" He clenched his jaw. "Petra. When the fuck does this end?"

"Soon, baby. Soon." She kissed his cheek, held him close.

"Erwin stops it, hangs them…but sometimes…" He winced. "Floch. That fucker. I came in one time and found him with two girls who…" He made a wounded animal noise. "I broke the bitch's teeth. They grew back, and I broke 'em again. I dragged him to Erwin, told him we needed to find someone to 'inherit' the Jaws right now. And Erwin said he'd punish Floch, but we needed him. He's loyal. Fuck, is he ever loyal to Erwin. At least after a few days in the brig, he swore he'd never do that again. But I watch him and I know. I know. I know when I'm not around…"

Petra was crying now. He cursed and kissed her.

"Look at me. I'm such an asshole. Baby, I'm sorry. I'm ruining your damn picnic."

"I'd rather you tell me everything that hurts you," she whispered. "A picnic isn't more important than you."

"Yeah. But you're more important than me," he muttered. They kissed and he held her close. They didn't talk for over an hour. Levi liked the silence, and she was happy just to be with him. She lay against his chest, listening to his heart, until the shadows started to lengthen.

"Let's head back before it gets dark," she said. They packed up the picnic things, climbed into the saddle, and rode through the deepening twilight. By the time they'd arrived home, rubbed down the horses and put away the remains of the picnic, it was almost night. "I'm not hungry for dinner yet," Petra said. "We had a late lunch."

"Yeah." He wrapped his arms around her from behind, swayed with her as he kissed her cheek.

"I had a thought." She turned and put her arms around him. "No one's around."

"You wanna dance?"

She wrinkled her nose. "You know I love dancing with you. But if you're not up to it—"

"Let's go." He took her by the hand and led her to the living room. This was the side of Levi no one would believe until they'd seen it. He was the gruffest, surliest man on the surface, but if she wanted anything he'd lay it at her feet. He cared about her happiness more than his own; she felt the same for him. Levi didn't see the point of dancing, but she loved it, and so he'd do it. Same way she didn't need to take so many baths, but it was his favorite thing. She was happy to please him.

Their living room was neater than a pin. Yesterday, Levi had set them on a morning cleaning spree. Again, she was happy to make him happy. He'd finally gotten to wax the floors, which delighted him. At least now they had clean, shiny floors for dancing.

They had a phonograph now, and a few records. She chose one from a Marleyan big band, the Aldo Morelli group. A slow song issued from the phonograph. Morelli began to croon as Levi put his arms around her. They swayed together, his cheek pressed to hers.

"Thank you for always making me happy," she whispered.

"Hey. Fair's fair. Gotta return the favor." He kissed her as they danced. "I got to tell you something."

"What?"

"I think we're close to the end." He sounded serious. "End of the whole damn war."

"Really?" Her heart sped up. It was too much to hope…

"Now that Aeropa's pretty much done, and Hizuru's helped take the rest of Nambia, everyone's starting to see the Triple Alliance as inevitable. They don't want more bloodshed. Erwin's got a date set next month to show off the hyperfusion bomb back in the Lotani islands."

Petra shivered, remembering what she'd seen of that film. If a mere film reel was enough to scare her…

"You mean he'll make the demonstration to the heads of the other nations?"

"He thinks that at this point, showing them in person'll make the rest of the dominoes fall. The war could be over next month. My part in it, at least. After that the brains like Erwin and Hange will take over. Negotiations and shit. But I'll come home for good. Leave the military. We'll move up here."

"Levi." She almost burst into tears and hugged him close. "Oh god, do you really think so?"

"A horse farm, like you wanted. Sound good?"

"Could you really do it? Could you leave the military?" Could he leave Erwin?

"A while back, I'd have said no. But after these campaigns, I'm sick of the blood. I'm sick of wrecking shit. I want something simple and good."

"Yes."

"More kids. A real home. No fancy shit or politics, just us and some fucking greenery and the horses. I just want to be useless to Erwin, you know? I want him to need big brains and political geniuses, not soldiers."

"I want that, too. Though I think you're a genius."

"Crazy girl." He kissed her. Petra had a sudden and exciting thought.

"Levi. This, er, viewing next month in the Lotani islands. Is it right after Kuchel's birthday?"

"Uh. Yeah. I think about then."

"Then let me come with you."

"Hmm?" He seemed genuinely shocked by the suggestion.

"If this is your goodbye to the military, let it be our goodbye. I'm sure I could come."

"Well…yeah. You're active military, I'm sure Erwin wouldn't mind. But Petra, you know this isn't a pleasure cruise."

"I know. It's not just a vacation for me. I want to be there at the very end of our lives as soldiers. And if we want to keep trying for the baby…"

Levi nodded. Being consistent was as important as having lots of sex.

"Besides, I've never been to the Lotani islands," she said.

"Well, we start off in the Kawani islands, then go south, but yeah."

"Yeah?" She grinned as he held her close.

"Yeah. Fuck it, yeah. Come with me. Let's see this whole shitshow end together."

"And then we'll come home for good."

"Then we'll come home for good. We'll raise Kuchel and the new brat. Or brats. We'll raise horses. Maybe I can open a tea shop of my own in town. Maybe a life like that's too good for me after my past, but it's like you said. Take what you can get."

"Me, too," she whispered. She kissed him as the strings shimmered, the brass section boomed. Aldo Morelli sang about the summer wind. "Most people never get to see the end of something."

"Well, we're not most people. I've learned that lesson a few goddamn times."

Petra laughed. She kissed her husband, then shrieked gleefully when he swept her up into his arms.

"Just thinking that Kuchel isn't back until the morning. I got some other moves I want to try," he said. He carried her upstairs as the band played its next song.

They stayed upstairs for the rest of the record. It replayed itself twice before they came downstairs again and shut it off.

"Papa. Why you go?" Kuchel pouted, tugging at Levi's sleeve. He'd come home for a few days for her birthday, and now he and Petra were off. Their daughter was now the perfect picture of a little girl, with black hair that curled slightly at her shoulders, a sky blue ribbon in her hair. She wore a little blue dress (which she loved to get dirty whenever she could.) Leaving Kuchel was harder than ever now, Petra thought. Levi knelt.

"Oi. Brat. What if I told you when I come home, I'm not going anywhere again?"

Kuchel stuck out her lower lip and frowned. She looked so much like Levi when she did that. "You stay?"

"Yeah. I stay. And pretty soon after that, you could have a little brother or sister. That sound good?"

Kuchel's eyes lit up. She bounced gleefully.

"Yes! Ba-by bro-ther. Ba-by bro-ther," she sang.

"Or sister," Levi said.

Probably brother, Petra thought.

"So you be a good girl for Grandma and Grandpa." Aunt Brigitta couldn't watch Kuchel this time: she was eight months pregnant. The baby seemed enormous, and Petra had been over there constantly lifting and carrying things for her sister. But Brigitta looked radiant. "And maybe when I get back, I'll have a present for you."

"Present! Present!" Kuchel cheered and hugged her father. "I love you, Papa."

"Love you too, brat." He kissed her cheek, stood, and ruffled her hair. "Three years old. How the fu—the fun did that happen?" Kuchel beamed.

"Come on. We can't miss the train." Petra took his hand. "I think this trip will get her that baby brother," Petra whispered.

"Or sister." Levi loved to be stubborn.

"I can feel it," she said as they walked away. "This is going to be big."