Answered Prayers

by slingzarrowz

Levi and Petra are in love and together. They are finally, perfectly happy. But as the world around them falls to madness, their love will change not only their own destinies, but the course of history as well. Rivetra.

30. Chapter 30

He hated that he needed help getting up the stairs of his own damn house, but he was still a little too weak to do it on his own. He leaned on the shoulder of the officer who'd driven them home. Home. Fuck, never thought he'd be so glad to have a place to attach to that word.

"Levi?" Petra whispered. She was at his back. Damn angel.

"I'm okay. I just…gotta see her."

Levi climbed. Only a few damn steps, but he was screaming with impatience. Really, he should've just been damn grateful. When they'd found him on that island, he'd been about fifteen minutes from death. He remembered flashes of being loaded onto a stretcher, onto a motorboat, hoisted up onto a cruiser. He remembered IVs and doctors shining lights in his face. Apparently his insides had been inflamed. All of them. They'd done their best to save him, and he'd fought through it. 'Should've died', they said. Yeah? He didn't like doing what people expected.

When the Hizurans were sure he'd pull through, they'd been stunned and pleased. Levi had asked that they make him look a little more presentable. He was a man who liked looking good as possible to make up for the fact nature had given him a short frame and an ugly face.

They'd shaved him, at least, but there wasn't a lot they could do to make him look good. He'd gotten badly sunburned, and he'd lost over ten pounds. When Levi saw himself in the mirror, he saw hollow cheeks and sunken eye sockets. He looked frail; never looked like that before. He'd put the weight back on, but until then he kind of resembled a corpse.

When they unloaded him on Paradis, the doctors weren't wild about him heading home to Trost. They said he should maybe stay at the hospital for a couple days.

No doing. Levi had a very important person to see. Along with Petra and Erwin, the only person in this damn world that mattered more than his own life.

Finally, he got to the top of the stairs. The officer let go, confident in Levi's ability to walk several feet by himself. Ingrid was waiting by Kuchel's closed door, hovering like a gray ghost. His mother in law had tears in her eyes. Maybe she was glad to see him. Fuck, what a weird sight.

"Hey," he said.

"Hello." Ingrid squeezed his arm. She quietly let Levi into the room.

Petra was at his side, and walked in with him. Her cool hand slid into his one moment, then she stepped out of the way. Levi winced as he sat down on the bed. His side still felt bruised all the way through. But he'd live.

His daughter was taking a nap, hugging one of her dolls tight. She was dressed in a little blue smock. Her black hair was all mussed on the pillow. She gave little baby snores.

To think he'd been a few breaths away from never seeing her again. Levi blinked the sting out of his eyes. Then he gently shook her.

"Oi. Kuchel. Wake up."

She gave little tired grunts. He shook her some more until she turned over, rubbing a chubby fist into her eye. She blinked sleepily up at him. She looked up at him with his own blue gray eyes. He gave a rare, genuine smile.

"Hey, brat."

Kuchel screwed up her face and started to cry. Miserable cries. Full-throated sobs. She rolled away from him.

"No! No! I don' like this dream! Stoooop!" She was heading into hysterics. Oh, fuck. He touched her again.

"Kuchel. Oi! It's your Papa. Come on now, stop it."

Maybe he wasn't doing this right. Levi didn't know how to talk all nice and nurturing. Petra came and quickly sat beside him.

"Kuchel, baby, it's not a dream." She petted her daughter's hair. Kuchel kicked.

"Go way! Go way!"

Enough of this shit. He hadn't come back from death for this. Levi hoisted the girl up beneath her armpits and set her to stand on his lap. He made her face him. Kuchel wriggled around, trying not to look at him. Trying to avoid the ghost that haunted her dreams. That gave her false hope.

His heart withered to think of that. He knew those dreams. He knew the pain you felt when you woke and the person was still gone.

"Look. It's your Papa." He was short with her because he was freaked. She sniffled and her chin wobbled. "It's me, okay?" He bounced her a couple of times. "I'm home."

"P-Papa?" She started to look shocked. Started to believe. Good. "Papa? Buh, but they say you went pardice."

Paradise. Right.

"Yeah, well. I got there and they said I couldn't bring you along. So I thought 'a world without Kuchel's boring', and I came back."

He was getting embarrassed now. Petra was sitting next to him, Ingrid was crying in the doorway. The officer was probably still here, watching. Too many people were staring at him. But Kuchel finally, fully believed. With a joyful shriek, she plastered herself against him.

"Papa!" She gave big, heaving sobs again. Sobs of relief. He hugged her tight. He smelled her honeysuckle soap; good, they'd kept using it. Her tears would stain his shirt, but he could always get a new one. He hugged his little girl so tight. His baby. "Papa, don' ever leave me!" she wailed.

Good thing he was faced away from everyone else. They couldn't see the tears he was fighting. His face broke for one awful second, and he almost started bawling. But he fought back the emotion. He was stone again.

"Yeah. Okay," he grunted. Levi cleared his throat. "Oi. Don't keep carrying on. I'm not dead."

"I love you, Papa." Kuchel gave him tons of little baby kisses. He kissed her cheek, held her tight. Kuchel patted his face, then looked at her mother, beaming. "Papa came home! You said he stayed in pardice, but, but he came home!"

"That's right. It's a miracle." Petra stroked their daughter's hair. He studied his wife's face. God, she looked so tired. He'd never seen such deep circles. Her cheeks were pale and gaunt. She must have lost weight. Levi frowned. That couldn't be good for the baby.

But she was still so beautiful. Most beautiful sight in this world, along with his daughter.

"Excuse me?" Ingrid cleared her throat. "I think we should get you set up in bed, Levi. The doctor said—"

"Yeah, yeah." He stood with an oof, Kuchel still clinging to him.

"No go! Papa stay!" She started fussing.

"Why don't you go with Papa, Kuchel? Just remember he needs his rest," Ingrid said. Kuchel brightened at the idea.

"Get Gretel, Mama?"

Petra picked up the doll, grabbed a storybook, and followed Levi as he tromped across the hall and into their bedroom. He almost got damn emotional at the sight of that bed. After nearly a week of lying on rocks and sand, living in constant pain, this was Paradise itself.

And he had his daughter. His wife.

Fuck, he was a lucky man.

Petra pushed back the covers as he placed Kuchel on the bed. She babbled happily as his wife helped him out of his dirty shirt and into a fresh one. She took off his pants so he was in his boxers. She undressed him with those soft, cool hands of hers.

God, hopefully soon she'd take more off of him. He wanted her to undress him all the way. He wanted those soft, cool hands on his body.

Levi put an arm around her waist. He whispered in her ear, her hair tickling his cheek.

"Just wait 'til I'm feeling better," he murmured. "And she's outta the room."

"Yes." Petra didn't look at him. In fact, she felt a little stiff in his embrace. Eh, probably crashing from all the emotional exhaustion. He kissed her cheek. God, she tasted like heaven. She kissed him back, then helped Levi get into bed. Petra covered him with the blanket and Kuchel bounced beside him, making her doll kiss his cheek over and over. Annoying. But he allowed it. His little girl looked at him with the most glowing joy he'd ever seen.

Like a stab to the heart, he remembered finding his own mother dead. He hadn't been much older than Kuchel when it happened. He remembered the agony, the begging for his mother to return to him. Shaking the corpse to wake it. The dreams that she came alive once more. The prayers to some distant god that he would let Levi's Mama come home. His wish hadn't come true.

Kuchel's had.

In the moments before she believed he'd come home, his daughter's eyes had been his, long ago. Those empty, sad eyes. Those pained eyes.

Now, at least, she got to replace that worn sadness with happiness, extreme joy that her wish had come true. Maybe all the damage his 'death' had done to her would reverse. But if he hadn't come home, she would've suffered like he had. Not as much, maybe, what with her mother, grandparents, and a ton of cash. But it would've kept her raw for years.

If he hadn't come home, Kuchel would've started to become just a little more like him. Wary of the world. Cold. Afraid to love in case the worst should happen.

In that moment, Levi made a decision about his future. But that decision could wait.

"Papa, Gretel, um, wants to have a tea party."

"Man. I like how Gretel thinks."

"Okay." Petra smiled. Looked kinda tight. She stood at the foot of their bed, her body language stiff. "I'll run down to the store. We don't have much—"

"Petra." Ingrid shook her head. "I'll go to the market. I'll make the tea. You stay here with your family."

"Thanks, Ingrid," Levi said. Gretel kissed him again.

"Thanks, Mama." Petra sat on the opposite side of the bed. She kept staring at and smiling at Kuchel. But not him.

"Oi. Look at me," he said. She did. There was a distance in her gaze. Remove. It hurt a little to see that. "I almost died, you know. Thought that'd get your attention." He smirked when he saw her relax a little. She blushed. There. That was Petra. He ought to give her a break. She was still suffering all that whiplash. He'd been dead, then he was suddenly alive. Of course she was off kilter.

"You have my full attention." She leaned over and kissed him. He felt some hesitation in her kiss, so he gripped the back of her head and kissed her harder. Her lips were warm on his. He'd been convinced he would never taste these lips again. She relaxed into the embrace. Good. That got his blood fired up.

Levi brushed his nose against hers. He kissed her forehead.

"Almost wish I didn't feel like sh—crap." He looked at Kuchel, talking to Gretel. "Or that she wanted another nap. But time for that later."

"Mmm." Petra cuddled against him as their daughter started flipping the storybook pages, grinning at Levi every few seconds as if to check he was still there. "Later."

She was acting a little weird, but she'd had a hell of a week. It'd take them all a little time to get back to normal.

And once they were at normal, they'd stay there. He kissed Petra, and listened to Kuchel try to read a story.

---

I have to tell him.

I know.

Not now. I'm going to wait until he's healthier. But then I have to tell him what happened.

Do me a favor and let me know when you tell him.

I will.

Erwin sat at the table, his quick conversation with Petra playing on an endless loop in his mind. He was in one of the camp tents, waiting on his 'guest.' His emotions were all in a tangle. He felt shame. He felt despair. He felt, when he imagined what Levi would do to him when he found out, a little bit of fear.

In truth, he feared a shift in their friendship more than he did physical pain. He liked to think that the fact he and Petra had both been certain Levi was dead when they'd had their…encounter…would solve everything. No hard feelings. Levi wasn't possessive of his wife in the sense that he treated her as his property. He wouldn't be mad because Erwin had gone where only Levi could go. Levi acknowledged Petra's autonomy. He valued it. He was a rational man who would understand that Petra had not cheated on him because she'd believed he was gone.

But Erwin had slept with the woman when she was still grieving and burnt out. It wasn't honorable, what he had done. Levi would kill him for that.

And that was without Hybernia. When he found out about that…

Another break. Another loss. Erwin wished that he could sleep with Petra again, but he wished that he and Levi could be as they were before Shiganshina even more.

How could two people he loved so deeply be slipping through his hands? He'd already lost Petra. He'd lost any respect she had for him. Any affection.

I'm going to lose him, too.

"Majesty?" A soldier was outside the tent, escorting his 'guest.'

"Send him in." Erwin forced himself to focus on the moment as Zeke Jaeger entered and sat at the table. The man's face was lobster red—the sun on the island must have been unforgiving. His face was also…shiny.

"Aloe lotion. It helps the burn." Zeke gestured.

"Ah. Well. First I'd like to thank you on behalf of all Paradis for saving Levi's life. I know he would have died without you and Pieck Finger. You've done our nation a great service, and you've given a little girl her father back. For that alone, I thank you."

"You're welcome." Zeke polished his glasses. "What's second?"

"Second. You and Miss Finger will remain here at the southern port until Marley sends a boat to collect you. The Hizurans have gone straight back home; understandable. You'll be made comfortable, not to worry. If you would like anything, only ask and it's yours. Money, food, drink. We owe you a debt."

"So. No seeing my little brother, I take it?"

"We're grateful, Zeke. Truly grateful. But we aren't stupid."

"Is it the royal 'we' now?" Zeke put his glasses back on. "Majesty, I think perhaps Pieck and I should remain on your fair island indefinitely."

Erwin had expected something like this. He just wondered how Zeke was going to pitch it.

"And why is that?" he asked.

Zeke narrowed his sleepy eyes. He gave a cat-with-the-cream grin.

"The Hybernian battleship kept firing for the cruiser's hull. They completely avoided taking out our guns or soldiers in favor of blasting through the ship itself."

"In order to sink it."

"Mmm. But sinking isn't exactly instantaneous. It's a long process. Even if you can cripple us, why not remove our defenses? Why not take out the gunners while you can?" Zeke pointed a finger skyward. "Unless you believe that within mere seconds, those gunners can be made ineffective. Made ineffective when the ship itself explodes like a powder keg. I wonder, have you thought of this already?"

Erwin wouldn't play these games.

"Sabotage," he said.

"Betrayal. The Hybernians fired on that hull and nothing else, Majesty, because they knew beyond any doubt it was loaded with thousands of barrels of powdered crystal. Enough to kill every soul on that ship in two seconds. But only a select few know of your new weapons deal made with Kiyomi Azumabito. You, the other members of the Triple Alliance, and a group of allies like myself. Someone betrayed you, your Majesty. Someone told the Hybernians to aim for the hull." Zeke frowned. "You haven't considered this yet?"

Erwin said nothing. Zeke grinned, apelike.

"Yes, you did. And what else?" Zeke leaned forward, like this was a good game of chess.

Erwin inhaled. "The treachery came from Marley."

"Good. How do you deduce that?"

"The Triple Alliance was spared because Kiyomi had a back up plane. The saboteurs dismantled the plane we arrived in, but didn't consider the Grasshopper. A Hizuran onboard that ship or in a position of power would have known Kiyomi's habits. And the woman herself wouldn't set up such a situation. First, because all the leaders escaped in the Grasshopper, making such sabotage useless. Second, because Kiyomi is many things, but she is patriotic and loyal to her family. She would never sink a ship filled with her own soldiers. In addition, we have Mikasa, her family's heir. Blood means a great deal to Kiyomi. She'd never put the girl in danger."

Zeke looked delighted. "My thoughts exactly."

"Willy Tybur, then?"

"Well, blowing himself up to ensure he got rid of you and Kiyomi would in fact fit his psychological profile." Zeke steepled his fingers. "It could be him. Or it's someone near to him. An advisor. An aide. Whoever it is, they have it out for you and me as well. Maybe I was intended more as collateral damage, but someone high up in Marley's hierarchy doesn't mind if I die before passing on the Beast. Maybe they suspect you'll find a way to snatch Pieck and myself before the end of our terms and pass us to Paradisians."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well. Am I wrong?"

Erwin wasn't in the habit of directly lying. He preferred to lie by omission. So he said nothing.

"So they thought to take the possibility of using us off your hands. I'd much rather stay here, in the Eldian stronghold, than go back to Marley. Things are better for Eldians worldwide, but old resentments run deep. Paradis is, in fact, Paradise for our kind. And since I saved your hero, I think that requesting sanctuary isn't beyond the pale."

Erwin thought. He thought hard.

"Do you believe that, if you return to Marley, you're in danger of being forced to pass on your titan before your "term" is up?" he asked.

"Yes. Simply put, Pieck and I are in danger if we return. Someone got sloppy. They'll want to finish their work."

Erwin couldn't lose Zeke especially. A titan of royal blood was necessary to use the Founder. If he went now, before Hange could attempt to synthesize his royal blood and use it in place of an actual royal titan, Erwin would be forced to enact plan B.

Historia would not thank him for that.

"Understand. You'll be taken to a heavily fortified place. Guards will be around you at all times. If you try to contact Eren without our approval, we'll feed either you or him to our soldiers."

Zeke paled a little at that. Hmm. He did truly care for his little brother.

"I understand."

"Then I think we can come to an arrangement."

What Erwin was going to do with Willy Tybur, he had no idea.

One step at a time. These days, enemies were allies, and allies, enemies.

---

"Can I ride you?" Hange asked. Pieck's eyebrows shot up.

"Wha?" She couldn't talk with that tongue depressor in her mouth.

"Sorry." Hange took it out. "I'd love to see what riding a titan is like. How the biomechanics work. If there are shifts in body temperature, too. Your titan would be perfect for such an experiment. It's so rideable!"

"Gross. No. What?" Pieck looked affronted. "Why would you ask something like that?"

Hange blushed.

"Ah. Well. S-Sorry, that came out wrong."

"It did. But. It's okay." Pieck smiled a little. They were in the medical tent, seeing to her slight dehydration. The girl was hooked up to an IV while Hange inspected the rest of her. "You were the one who figured out where we were. Isn't that right?"

"How'd you know?"

"It was just a guess. You seem like the type to think outside the box."

"Well. Good guess." Hange grinned a bit sheepishly as Pieck stood, holding on to the IV stand for support in place of her crutch. She still had a tendency to crawl around in human form. Little weird. But Hange liked weird. She herself was weird. "So. It looks like you and Zeke are staying around for a while."

"Yes. Zeke's heading to Wall Sina, but we're going to Shiganshina? Why?"

"Because you still need more recovery time." Pieck had to know that was bullshit. They were really going to Shiganshina because Pieck didn't need as much observation as Zeke, and Shiganshina had most of Hange's lab equipment. The girl only nodded.

"Well. Thank you for saving us."

"Thanks for staying alive to be saved. I'm relieved." Hange's face burned. "That you brought back Levi. He's my best friend. And his wife and daughter—"

"Aren't you happy I came back, too?" Pieck asked. She looked a little hurt.

"Of course!" Hange barked. Fuck. Her face got hotter. "I, er, was really relieved when you were alive."

"Because you wanted to ride my titan?"

"Because…I think you're very nice."

Very nice. What a line.

"Well. I think the same about you," Pieck said.

The girl smiled sleepily…then got on her toes and kissed Hange. A good kiss. On the lips.

Hange felt her heart stutter, maybe stop. Pieck smiled shyly, then took her IV stand and rolled out the medical tent. The world tilted at a funny angle. Hange tasted something citrus-y in her mouth; why? She had to sit down. Her heart was pounding. She'd never reacted to a kiss like this before. Maybe this was how Levi felt with Petra. If so, he was a lucky son of a bitch.

The girl was cute, she was smart, she was weird, and sometimes she was a titan. It was a perfect match.

Isn't she a little young for you? Then again, Levi and Petra…

It was almost the same age gap.

She and Pieck were going to be in Shiganshina together while Hange did work—as a private citizen, of course—for the military. She wasn't coming back, not after Hybernia. This was purely temporary. Just until they decided what to do about Marley and the shifters. Besides, Hange had to be practical. There was no reason not to make a little money for a job only she could do. Then she could start her life over properly.

And as previously stated, she and Pieck were going to be alone. Together. Doing science.

Hange had never been so excited to do science. And she loved science, so that was a lot of excitement.

---

She watched the king walk with his entourage to the convoy. Zeke walked beside His Majesty, chatting about something. The man was red-faced. His glasses glinted in the sun. He was smiling; he was happy.

She'd been digging a trench to lay new pipe for new infrastructure. She stopped and watched them go. Sweat dripped into her eyes. Her hands tightened upon the shovel's handle.

Zeke. Jaeger.

"Hey." Her supervisor stopped in front of her, blocking her view of that bastard. "It's not your break yet. Keep going."

She stuck in her shovel and dug. Sweat poured down her face in the noon sun. Winning the "lottery" to go to Paradis had been good in some ways, shit in others. In order to truly earn her right to be a citizen, she needed to do one year of service. She had to do the jobs no one else wanted to do. Installing a new sewage system; mining; waste disposal. Clever of that king to set up such a system. He ended up with hundreds if not thousands of people working for no wages at all.

But she kept stopping her work and staring at him. Zeke blithely got into a car, and it drove away in a cloud of dust.

He was chatting with the king. Friends in high places.

Why couldn't she be allowed to have her gun on her at all times? She bared her teeth.

"Where do you think they're going?" she asked the man working next to her. He wiped sweat from his brow.

"Overheard the king talking when I was on my break. All I know's they're headed to Mitras."

The capital.

"Hey!" The supervisor got right in her face this time. "Schulz! You want to get your ass deported?"

"It's Strauss, sir. Inga Strauss."

"I don't care if it's Queen of Eldia, dig or you're done." He walked on, overseeing everyone else with that whistle swinging from his neck. Inga stuck her shovel in deeper.

She'd work hard. She'd be a model worker. And tonight after lights out she'd leave her uniform and badge behind, the orange badge that marked her as a refugee. She'd steal an attendant's clothes—she knew where they were kept. She'd take some cash and leave here. It was only half a mile to the train station. She'd catch that train to Mitras.

And she'd bring her gun.

---

"This's the only part that scared me," Levi said. He was gazing down at Kuchel as she slept between her parents. He stroked his daughter's fine black hair. "Not getting to see her like this ever again. Or you."

"Yes," Petra whispered. It was night. The lamp glowed on their bedside table. Her husband was sitting up in bed, talking to her. What an amazing sight.

It hurt so badly.

He leaned over and kissed Petra. She smiled against his lips, even as the kiss stabbed her in the heart. She could have kissed him for hours. For the rest of her life. He deepened the kiss, but she gently pushed away.

"You still need rest. And…" She looked down at their daughter, who was hugging Gretel tight. Getting the child to sleep had been a chore. She was terrified that if she fell asleep, Papa would be gone when she awoke.

"Tomorrow. I'll be rested then." He kissed her neck. Her eyes fluttered shut. God, just the touch of his lips…

Where Erwin's had been.

Petra flinched and pulled away. Shit. Tears were filling her eyes.

"Oi. Baby, it's okay."

She looked back at him. She'd never seen his face so tan—burned, actually. The skin was peeling on his cheeks and the tip of his nose. His face was slight, no cheekbones to speak of, but now they stood out a little from where hunger had loosened his skin. But he was here again. He was going to live. It was more than she could have prayed for.

If she'd only held out one more night, she'd be in his arms now without a care in the world. But she'd been so weak. So stupid.

And now she had to wait at least a few days for him to heal enough so that she could tell him. She had to look into his loving eyes, feel the desire in his kiss, and not be able to fully submit the way she wanted. She couldn't do that before he knew.

She tried to stop crying. Levi's rough hand cupped the back of her neck.

"Petra. It wasn't your fault."

It was.

"I'm just so sorry…" She told at least part of the truth. "I should've forced them to go back. I wanted to, but then…I gave up on you. I should've searched everywhere."

"You would've been an idiot to do that." He stroked her cheek. He could be so coarse, so vulgar, but when he was gentle with her there was no man more tender on the planet. "Only a maniac like Hange could've figured it out. And she only got there at the last minute."

Petra sniffed. "I love you so much," she whispered. She let herself lean over and kiss him. His lips were perfect, his face was still perfect. Even after days sick on an island, he smelled of soap. It was part of him. He was clean, and good. "Levi, I've never loved anyone but you. Please know that."

I never loved Erwin. I could never love him. But I fucked him.

Would Levi be able to tell the difference between loving and fucking?

"Tch. Crazy brat." He kissed her harder, unable to fully take her in his arms with Kuchel wedged between them. "You kept me alive," he rasped. His lips traced her cheek. "I made my damn heart keep beating so I could see you again. Don't you know you're the fucking world to me?"

She started to cry.

"Baby, shhh." He kissed the top of her head.

He was the most wonderful man in the world, and she was going to lose him. She had him for a few more days, and then she'd tell him and she'd lose him.

At that moment, Kuchel stirred and started to whimper.

"Hmm? Mmm, no no, umm. Papa!"

The little girl bolted upright, sobbing in a panic. Levi hushed Kuchel, hugged her.

"It's okay, Kuchel. I'm here. Your Papa's here."

The child cried and hugged him. He hugged her back. Petra saw the faint shine of tears in his eyes. He blinked them away, but they'd been there.

"I'm stayin' right here, kid. I'm never leaving again."

"Papa," Kuchel whimpered. She crawled on his lap and leaned her cheek against his chest, listened to his heart. "Papa, read me a story?"

"Kuchel, Papa needs his sleep," Petra said, but Levi picked up the storybook.

"Sure, kid. But just one. Then sleep. You got it?" He tried to sound gruff, but when it came to his daughter he was a marshmallow. A gruff marshmallow. He flipped open the book. "Tch. Ugly Duckling? Dumb story. Oh well."

He read while Kuchel sucked her thumb and stared up at him with big, adoring eyes. Petra looked at her family. This bliss was everything she could ever want.

In a few days, she might never have it again.

---

"I fail to see why it's so necessary to keep me isolated like this." Zeke frowned as he felt the needle slide out of his back. This was the third 'spinal tap' in as many days. Hange had come up from Shiganshina to collect a few samples from him before heading back down to Pieck. She seemed eager to return to the girl. Hmm. How lovely.

Romance was revolting, but if people liked it they were free to.

"We're just keeping you safe from the Marleyans. And Eren." Hange stoppered the vial containing another bit of his "juice." Zeke sat up, his head feeling a bit light. He saw the six glass vials already laid out upon the table. Hange pulled off her rubber gloves and turned away from him.

Zeke had seen containers of his spinal fluid before. A darkish purple.

"Yes. I understand you're all very nervous about a family reunion. I suppose even after saving the life of your Greatest Eldian, I'm still considered untrustworthy. Shiganshina. Ragako. Never forgive, never forget."

Levi Ackerman, Greatest Eldian. Zeke had asked for papers and seen the write up of Erwin's moving speech. He'd also learned of the Hybernian devastation. Erwin truly was a devil. A fascinating man. In another life, they could have been friends.

Zeke watched Hange carefully. She was searching through a leather bag for something.

He had one chance.

"We know how smart you are, Zeke. We just want to be careful." Hange picked up another syringe, studied it.

Zeke slipped his hand into his pants. He'd stolen a glass vial yesterday, swiped when she wasn't looking. He'd requested grape juice last night, and played with it, watering it down until it looked exactly the same color as his spinal fluid. Then he'd filled the vial, stoppered it, and slipped it into his pants.

He pulled out the vial and traded it for another on the table. He slid the real spinal fluid into his pants, finishing seconds before she turned back around.

"Well. I can respect care," he said. He rolled his eyes as Hange made him open wide and used a tongue depressor on him.

"Think of it this way. If I can isolate what separates shifters from untitanized Eldians, maybe I can figure out how to keep you alive past your "term."" Hange grinned.

"I'm surprised you'd want the butcher of Ragako and Shiganshina to stay alive," he drawled. He shifted his hips slightly. The vial lay snug against his body. Good.

"Er. Well. You've done a lot for us." She was a bad liar. She wanted a cure for Erwin Smith, God King of Paradis. Erwin they would keep alive. Not Zeke. She only wanted Zeke's royal blood and spinal fluid to create a substitute for a titan of royal blood. When they did that, he'd be expendable.

"How's Pieck?" he asked.

"Er. Ah ha. She's great. Very great." The woman was blushing hard now. Adorable. Pathetic.

"How nice." Zeke held out his arm, ready for the tourniquet. "Shall we?"

Two hours later, he was back in his room. Erwin had given him rooms at the Tower, a fortress/palace on the edges of Mitras. It had been built hundreds of years back, when Paradis had been a summer home for the king and his elites. Before they needed to reappropriate the island as a permanent home for all Eldians. The tower was where enemies of the crown were kept, but also members of the royal family who openly rebelled. As such, some quarters were downright luxurious. Zeke had an entire suite to himself. The bedding was plush, much better than his paltry rooms in Marley or lying on the ground of that desert island. The deep, claw-footed bathtub gave him a glorious soak. He could have as many books as he liked, and a radio. And he could order anything from the kitchens.

That evening, he selected a cream of lobster soup, followed by a shank of lamb with rosemary salt, buttered potatoes, and a raspberry trifle for dessert. Rich, to be sure, but Zeke had never indulged himself before. He was a royal—the true heir to all Eldia, in fact. Historia was a bastard, and Erwin had no royal lineage. Zeke was the true king. Deposed.

Perhaps when he and Eren completed their plan, perhaps when Eldians were allowed to drift mercifully into twilight, he would take over as king and guide them all to live in peace for the rest of their days. He would be a good king.

He also ordered a bottle of excellent wine. They'd imported it from Marley; apparently, some Marleyan down in Shiganshina served it in his restaurants. Quite a treat.

Zeke uncorked the bottle, then poured the vial of his spinal fluid into it. He swirled it around for a bit while gazing out the window. There were stall keepers outside the Tower walls. He saw a few children playing a game. There were also some panhandlers, looking for a coin. Even in Paradis, there were poor. Sad.

He noticed one panhandler staring straight up at the Tower. The figure was hooded, so he couldn't tell if it was a man or woman. Ah well.

Zeke had also ordered a tray of glasses. He poured a little wine into each. Eight in total. Then he opened the door.

"Hello." He smiled. "Daz? Boyd?"

"Hello, sir." The soldiers kept watch on him day and night, but they'd been instructed to be courteous. Unless he tried anything, of course. Zeke brought out the tray, offered them wine.

"I wanted to thank you both, and the others on my personal guard. You've been truly good to me while I've been here. Join me in a drink?"

"Oh. Uh. We're not supposed to. On duty." Daz, a truly ugly looking boy, gazed longingly at the wine.

"I promise you. It'll be our secret. It's only a gesture, really. Barely a mouthful each. Plus…" He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "It's a Marleyan vintage I myself was never able to try. Now that I'm free of wretched Marley, I want to celebrate freedom. A toast to the king. He saved me, after all."

"Saved all of us," Boyd said. He rubbed his lips. "Eh. Why not. Just one, though." He picked up a glass, and Daz joined him.

"Be sure to get the others over here." Zeke whistled, and the other guards on his corridor crept over. Everyone liked wine. They took their glasses, and Zeke took his. He raised in a toast. "To better days. And Erwin Smith."

"Better days. The king."

They all drank. There were smacked lips, sighs of delight.

It was truly a rare vintage.

"Delicious. Thank you, gentlemen."

Zeke closed the door and sat down to his meal. He sipped more of his wine, and smacked his lips.

He'd always known he had good taste.

---

She gazed up at the Tower. There was an iron-spiked fence around the whole building, but she imagined she could see him.

Inga sat down against the wall with the other panhandlers. She'd laid out a handkerchief and accepted coins as people tossed them. Hopefully she'd have enough to buy a bun later, and keep her vigil.

It didn't matter how long it took. Sooner or later, Zeke Jaeger had to come down.

---

Erwin. I have to talk to you.

Erwin. There's no way around it.

I've made a decision.

Levi walked through the streets of Trost, Kuchel's hand in his. It was four days since he'd come home. He'd spent much of the time in bed getting pampered by Petra and Ingrid. They were both good nurses. His recovery'd been miraculous. The doctors were amazed. Levi wasn't. Zeke had been right about one thing: the Ackermans were built to be hardy.

The 104th kids had come by as well, all except Eren and Connie. They had to be down south for obvious reasons. Mikasa had actually hugged him when she saw him. Sasha had bawled. Jean had blustered and wiped his eyes.

Nice to know the kids liked him.

But now that he was feeling better, he was restless. He'd said he was going to stretch his legs. Right now, he was taking Kuchel to the market to look at some pears or something. They wouldn't be there long. Really, it was an excuse to gently walk the kid in the direction of her aunt's house. He'd leave Kuchel there for a few hours while he went home and made frantic love to his wife. He'd had four days of her playing nursemaid and not kissing him too passionately for fear he'd get overexcited; four days of wanting to feel her naked body underneath his. Finally, he was healthy enough to fuck her.

He needed to feel that close to her again. He needed to feel her heart beating against his. He wanted to take away all the awkwardness she'd been feeling, all the guilt she'd had about leaving him behind. He wanted to listen to her gasp in his ear as she wrapped her legs around his waist and erupted in—

"Papa?" Kuchel tugged at his hand. She kissed it a few times. The girl always kept her hand glued in his when they walked. She held his hand, or sat on his lap, or clung to his leg. He could hardly take a shit without Kuchel banging on the bathroom door and yelling for him to come out.

The doctor said she'd stop being so clingy in time. She'd been through a trauma. Leaving the kid at Aunt Brigitta's for a few hours was going to be a small first step. He wanted Kuchel to feel safe…but he didn't want her to grow up weak and scared. It'd do her no favors.

"Yeah, kid?" He picked her up and carried her. His daughter hugged his head and kissed his cheek again and again. Levi's heart melted a little as he walked through the market stalls. Tch. His little angel. Wondered if her new sibling would be a boy or girl. Petra was all for a boy, but maybe another little girl'd be nice…

"You not goin' away again, huh?" She pouted.

"Nope. I'm stayin' here with you and Mama."

Erwin, I need to tell you something…

"Well, well. Hello."

A car slowed down alongside them in the street. The window rolled down. Zackley leaned his head out, smiling smugly as he was chauffeured around or some shit. Fucking asshole.

"Yeah. Hey," Levi said. Didn't have to be on buddy terms with the old cunt. "Say hi, Kuchel."

"Hiya." She waved.

"Mmm. Precious child." Zackley quickly ignored the girl. Bitch. "Do you need a ride somewhere?"

"We're walking. It's fine." I shattered several bones in my body, but I'd rather crawl than ride with a prick like you. See? Hadn't said it. He was getting more diplomatic in his old age.

"It's a real miracle you're alive, Levi." Zackley kept the car at a steady crawl beside him. People were honking in the street. Levi sighed, and stopped. He let Zackley's car pull over to the curb and get out of everyone's way. "The king was relieved."

"I knew Erwin and Hange would figure it out."

"Of course you did. Though I'm sure you couldn't have imagined the eulogy the king would give you. It was broadcast in cinemas around the world. Rousing stuff. Finding you alive after all that pomp and circumstance is almost anticlimactic."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"If anything, it's a real disappointment to Hybernia. Now all of those deaths are a little meaningless." Zackley tsked. "Though I'm certain we'd have dropped the bombs even if you'd been found that day."

Levi blinked. "What? Bombs?"

Zackley pretended surprise. "Surely you've heard. Have they been keeping you under a rock?"

"Do me a favor and quit the shitty acting." Kuchel tutted; she knew not to swear. Fuck. Well, right now she was gonna have to pretend not to listen. He shifted his daughter to his other arm. "What are you saying to me?"

"The king dropped smaller versions of the hyperfusion bomb on two Hybernian cities after the cruiser went down. Roughly one point five million people died within mere minutes. I know the king did it to make a point to the world and keep Paradis safe, though I wonder if he'd have been so trigger happy if you hadn't—"

"No."

Levi almost dropped Kuchel. He couldn't feel his feet. One point five…million…

Dead. Cities. Women and children. The sick. Animals, babies, grandmothers and…

Gone. Just gone. On Erwin's command?

"I'm afraid yes." Zackley saw the pained question in Levi's eyes. He grinned. "Oh dear, I hope this hasn't come as too much of a shock for—"

Zackley barked when Levi grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him halfway out the window. Kuchel started to scream and fuss as Levi bared his teeth in the old goat's face.

"You tricked Erwin into doing that. He'd never—"

"The king contacted me. He asked me to sit on the council the day of the decision. He wanted me to help sway the councilors. He knew what he was going to do." Zackley sneered, though he sweated in Levi's grip. "How does it feel, Levi, to have the blood of hundreds of thousands of children on your hands? Well. Not that there's any blood left. No bones. No tissue. Only ash. It's as if they never even existed now."

Levi let go of Zackley and stepped back. The old man hung half out the window, coughing and unable to either push himself out or pull himself back up. The chauffeur got out, looking panicked, and shouted at Levi as he strode away with Kuchel in his arms. His daughter was crying and fussing, and while he knew he should comfort her he could only shush her harshly.

A million. Over a million.

Dead. On his account?

On Erwin's orders.

"Papa, was wrong?" Kuchel sniffed. Absently, he kissed her cheek.

"Papa's okay. He's just gotta…" He didn't know how to finish that.

He skipped the market and took her straight to Brigitta's. He barely remembered seeing Pieter, or getting a hug, or greeting Ingrid. He hugged Kuchel goodbye, and the next thing he knew he was right outside his house again. He needed help. He needed comfort.

He needed Petra. In the midst of death, he felt the need to feel gloriously alive.

He opened the door, slammed it shut. She came into the hallway from the kitchen.

"Levi. What—"

Fuck her hesitation, her nervousness. He picked her up in his arms. There was a slight twinge in his ribs, and he winced. But he ignored her cries of concern.

"I want to fuck you now," he said hoarsely. He carried her up the stairs, kicked open their bedroom door. He threw her onto the bed, got on top and straddled her. Petra looked nervous, but he didn't care. He was no invalid. He needed her badly.

He needed to lose himself inside of her.

He tore open her shirt, letting the buttons fall away. They could be sewn back later. Levi groaned at the sight of her breasts. They were pert, rose and cream. He remembered the first time he'd seen them. Years later, and they were still perfect. He took them in his hands, squeezed them. Petra gasped and moaned as he kneaded them, her growing arousal getting him harder with every passing second.

He needed to bury himself inside of her body, come in her, fill her. He saw by her flushed cheeks how badly she wanted this. She gasped and cooed as he pulled his shirt over his head and fell down on top of her. Fuck, their naked bodies were connecting. The touch of her skin created a fever in him. He started to hike up her skirt. He wanted to make her come with his fingers, then his tongue, then his cock, over and over until he stopped feeling—

"No. Levi, stop. Please," she whispered.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to explode. Instead, he stopped and let her sit up. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and clutched her shirt together to hide her breasts. He was so hard he didn't think he had any blood left for his brain.

"I'm not sick. I'm not an invalid," he rasped. Her shoulders hunched. "Petra, I want to fuck. I need to feel you. I just heard—"

"What did you hear?" She whipped around, looked panicked.

"Hybernia. Is it true?"

To his shock, she relaxed. Even looked disappointed.

"Yes. I'm sorry. It is," she whispered.

"Wait. What'd you think I meant?"

"I…"

Then her eyes filled with tears. She bowed her head and hugged her arms, started to cry.

"Baby. What the—?"

"Levi. I have to tell you something. I want to…" She got herself under control. Wouldn't look at him. "I want to fuck you so badly. I want it more than anything. But I can't until I tell you…"

"Petra, you're freaking me out. What?"

She looked at him in the face. Her sweet lips quivered. Then she grabbed him around the neck and kissed him hard. Fuck, her lips were silk, her tongue was velvet. He moaned, ready to pull her down onto the bed. But she broke away.

"I wanted one last kiss. I'm sorry," she whispered.

Now he was fucking scared.

"What? Pet, are you sick? What?"

"No. But…" She stopped crying. She pulled in on herself. She was more self-contained in that moment than he'd ever seen her. "I need to tell you what happened on the night before we found you."

What the fuck?

"Okay. Tell me."

She hemmed and hawed. Then she started to speak. Her face got redder the more she spoke. He asked her to slow down so he could understand. She talked about the fourth night of his "death."

She said Erwin's name.

She said…

He frowned. Her. And Erwin. Had done…what?

He asked her to repeat. Sure he'd misunderstood.

But she spoke even slower. And she repeated what he'd thought he misunderstood.

The image grew clearer in his mind. Her. And Erwin. In…

They'd been…

He saw an image of the large man writhing on top of her, Petra screaming as—

His wife was crying again. She reached out to touch his face, saying they were sure Levi had died, and so—

He pulled away from her. He got off the bed. Petra began to grow more flushed. Her voice pitched higher in fright. She begged him to…do something. Forgive her? Kiss her? Understand her?

No. No, no, no. The images kept washing over him. He saw them with such grueling clarity, even though he hadn't been there. Her body. Erwin's body.

Levi wanted to throw up. He wanted to tear down the walls of this house. He wanted to walk out and walk and never stop walking.

He said something to her. He didn't know what he said, but it seemed to stun her. Then he was going down the stairs. He picked up his jacket. There was a knife in the pocket. Good.

He walked out the door while she kept screaming his name, but she didn't follow him.

Levi didn't realize he'd walked two miles until his ribs started to hurt. Fuck, the doctor would kill him for this shit. But it was okay, he'd gotten to the train station. Where he needed to be. He cursed when he realized he only had change in his pockets. By some miracle, the change was enough for a ticket. He barely made it onto the next train bound for Mitras.

He rode and stared out the window. He saw nothing except Erwin and Petra. Together.

He'd been lying broken on an island, and at that exact moment Erwin had…

With his wife.

He didn't hear anyone. He didn't talk to anyone. He got off at Mitras and would've gotten a cab but he had no fucking money left.

He walked another half mile to the palace. By this point, the pain in his ribs was getting knife-like. Fuck.

But he walked. No one stopped him when he got to the palace's entrance. In fact, they'd been expecting him.

"The king is in the pine grove. He asked you be brought to him."

Oh, how nice of the fucking king.

They took Levi all the way across the palace to the south end, onto the royal park and hunting grounds. Levi didn't say thank you. He just walked. They told him the king had asked to see Levi alone.

Up ahead, Levi saw the white figure of the king. Erwin paced, hands behind his back. When Levi got there, the king looked sick and relieved. His face was loose with sorrow. Levi had never seen such regret in any human being before.

You told me never to regret, you lying son of a bitch.

"Levi. Petra called an hour ago." Erwin sighed. "She thought you might come here."

Levi said nothing. He just stared at the man. Erwin bent over. Such a bigass man bent like a reed in the wind. He was broken.

"It's completely my fault. I was out of my mind," Erwin whispered. He winced. "We both were. Please, what do—"

Levi backhanded him across the face. Teeth shot out of Erwin's mouth—half a mouthful at least. He spat blood and teeth as he collapsed to the ground. Levi had felt nothing up until this moment. Now he felt something, something good.

The desire to inflict pain.

It'd been so long.

"Oi," he rasped. He stomped, breaking Erwin's ankle. The king wailed in agony. Levi stomped again, crushing the knee. Erwin screamed, but didn't get up. Didn't fight back. In fact, he held up a hand, looking somewhere behind Levi.

"Stay back! Return to the palace! That's an order."

The guards, probably. Tch.

"You motherfucker," Levi growled. He kicked Erwin square in the face. He felt the king's nose break, his jaw shatter. Erwin howled and collapsed to the ground. He didn't rise or try to defend himself. He lay there and took it as Levi stomped his ribcage. Let the fast-healing fucker know what it felt like to have crushed ribs, even for a second.

Levi's own ribs were killing him by now. Fuck it. Let him do this thing.

Let him hurt Erwin Smith to within an inch of his life. Let Erwin beg for death.

Levi reached into his pocket and felt the knife. He took it out, opened the blade, then knelt on Erwin's back. The king groaned as Levi cut off his right ear and tossed it aside like it was a cherry pit at a picnic or some other useless, unimportant thing. Erwin howled in pain, but still he didn't fight when Levi took the king's right hand and cut every finger off one at a time.

While Erwin screamed, Levi bared his teeth. It was getting hard to see what he was doing. Blurry.

Shit. Was he crying? Fuck him. Fuck his tears.

"I told you. To take. Care of her," he rasped as he sliced off Erwin's thumb. By this point, the king lay facedown in the earth. He wasn't dead, but he might've passed out. Shit. Levi smacked the back of his head. Erwin moaned. Good. "Get up. Fight me."

"No. I'm taking this punishment," Erwin whispered. "I deserve this."

Levi's face got hot. It got harder to see through the fucking stupid fucking tears. If Erwin had been arrogant, or defensive… But he was almost relieved Levi was doing this to him.

"Fight me!"

"No!"

With a furious wail, Levi chopped Erwin's hand off at the wrist and tossed it away. Blood spurted and steamed onto the grass; the healing process began, but it would take time to regrow what he'd lost. Levi got off Erwin, and the king rolled onto his side.

"Levi…"

Levi collapsed before Erwin, his chest heaving. He stared through his tears at the man he'd loved as much as he'd loved anyone. As much as he'd loved his wife.

"She needed you. She needed help. And you fucked her." Levi's teeth chattered; why was he cold? Was this shock? Was it shock when you cut off your best friend's ear, and his hand?

The blood on Levi's hands was already dissipating. Soon it would be like nothing had happened at all.

"I'm so sorry." Erwin's voice sounded syrupy now due to all the lost teeth. He spat onto the grass to clear his mouth. "I…I was insane."

"Did you go to her?"

"She…she came to me. She said she needed to feel something else or something bad would happen to her." As he spoke the words, Erwin winced. He could hear what that sounded like. "Looking back now, I see what a horrible decision I made. But I was too raw."

"Don't act like a fucking victim. This didn't just happen out of nowhere. You've wanted to fuck her for years."

"I…yes. Yes, I did." Erwin lowered his head; he couldn't look at Levi now. "But it wasn't only about lust. Much as I wanted her, it wasn't only about her. Being with her was the closest thing I had to bringing you back to life."

Levi roared. He couldn't understand where that noise had come from; the way he was acting and the way he was feeling weren't connected any longer. He took up the knife and jammed it into Erwin's eye. The king rolled away, wailing in pain as he pulled the blade out. He'd be blind for a few minutes. He deserved to be blind longer.

"It's not that you fucked her," Levi said hoarsely. "It's that you fucked her when she was so low. You took advantage of my wife, you piece of shit."

"Yes." Blood oozed down Erwin's cheek like tears. "I'm a monster."

"If I weren't kicking your damn ass for what you did to her," Levi huffed, "I'd be doing it for Hybernia." His voice broke then. He couldn't see through the tears. Why was he crying? Why couldn't he feel the sadness? It was like he'd split into two different people. His ribs hurt. "Did you really…?"

"I will burn in hell for that if nothing else," Erwin rasped. He clutched a fistful of grass.

Once Levi had followed at this man's back, watched the Wings of Freedom on Erwin Smith's cloak and felt himself begin to fly. They had been saving humanity. So many had died, but Levi had carried them proudly in death. He'd felt them at his back as he showed them the new world their sacrifice had created.

Now Levi's comrades' could see that their deaths had led to the slaughter of over one million innocent lives.

That's what they'd dedicated their hearts to.

"What did I do?" Levi's ribs hurt too badly. He flopped down, lying in the grass and staring up at the sky. "Who are you? Why did I give you the serum? What'd I do?"

"You're not responsible for what I've done, Levi."

"Someone has to be!" Levi rarely shouted; his throat hurt. He sat up and stood and kicked at the broken king again and again. He only knew peace when he hurt people. The man who had gotten married and been a tender husband, who carried his daughter around in gentle arms, that man didn't exist. He was an illusion. This violent shell was the true Levi Ackerman. Always would be. "I chose you instead of Armin. I chose you to save…my kid."

"And I have." Erwin choked, coughed up blood. Finally, he pushed himself to a kneeling position. He sounded better; the teeth were growing back. "If I hadn't bombed Hybernia, the world would have known it was safe to attack us. No one will hurt us now."

"You killed over a million people. You killed kids. You can't justify this shit." Levi coughed again; his ribs hurt like a bitch.

"Hange said the same." Erwin gave the saddest smile Levi'd ever seen.

Levi stared at the man's broken face. Once, he'd looked at this face in awe. Not just because of Erwin's handsomeness; Levi had seen nobility and greatness in every line. That a thug piece of shit like him should be allowed to serve such a man…

Even more. That he'd been friends with such a man. Equals, in their own rough way.

You saved my life, Erwin.

You got my friends killed.

You gave me the love of my life.

You fucked her.

"Oh, fuck. Oh fuck me." Levi got to his knees. He'd knelt before Erwin Smith once in Shiganshina, when they had been younger men and when the world had been so much easier. Inside, Levi felt the most incredible numbness. Outside, his cheeks were wet from tears. He had not cried in front of anyone in over a decade.

Last person who'd seen him cry was Erwin Smith. Guess it made sense Erwin would see his tears now. Levi fumbled for a handkerchief, but his hands were trembling too badly to use it.

"Levi. What can I say to you?"

"Nothing. It's what you did. You killed them. You fucked her. Nothing changes that shit." Levi wiped his eyes with his hand—any other time he'd have been mortified at such behavior. He didn't feel present. He felt like his body was somewhere else. "Tell me something. Tell me the truth."

"Anything."

"Are you in love with her?"

He saw the conflict in Erwin's remaining good eye.

"I…" The king shook his head. "I love her. I love you. I need the two of you."

"I loved you." Now Levi felt it. Now he felt the pain, not just in the ribs but in the chest. He leaned onto his hands and stared at the earth. He swallowed the tears, but felt the pain bloom and invade every part of his body. "I think I loved you more than her. Know why?" He snarled. "Because you were the best of us. And now when I look at you, I see the same dirty, ugly faces I saw in the underground. You look like shit. Like them. Even you could look like that. I…"

Levi went limp. He stared at his hands, the blood now fully evaporated. He took up his knife, which was clean. He put it in his coat pocket and staggered to his feet. He winced as he did; the ribs were throbbing now.

"I'm resigning from the military. Effective immediately," he croaked. He wheezed. Shit, maybe he overdid it just now.

"Yes," Erwin whispered.

"We're not friends." The words took out bloody pieces of his soul, but he said them. "You have nothing to do with my family from now on."

He saw a shudder pass through Erwin's body. For a second, he almost felt bad for the guy.

"Yes."

"And if you're going to hell, I'll join you. I brought you back for a shitty, selfish reason. It's on my head."

At least they'd be together in the end, then. Erwin gingerly got up. His eye was back, though his hand wasn't.

"Yes," Erwin said lifelessly. Then, "I'll have someone take you home. I'd like a doctor to look at you first; your ribs—"

"I'll just take the ride. Fuck your doctors. Fuck you."

Yet Levi could not leave the man. He couldn't leave the man he'd known, the one who had brought them into battle and led them towards a distant victory; the man who had grieved the loss of every soldier, even if he'd deny it. The man who had given Levi love and purpose…had that man even existed?

Yes. Erwin Smith had existed. And Levi had killed him when he brought him back to life.

For that, he ought to ask for Erwin's forgiveness.

"Forgive me, Levi."

Tears dripped out of Erwin's eye now instead of blood.

"I want the same, Erwin. The same."

The guards returned. Erwin gave strict orders to see Levi safely home; no action was to be taken against him. Levi was clammy by the time they got him back to the front of the palace and into a car for the long ride home; the ribs really did hurt like a son of a bitch.

But nothing hurt like the memory of Erwin crumpled and bloody at his feet.

Nothing hurt like imagining Erwin's naked body on top of Petra's.

Levi thought of her naked breasts beneath his hands mere hours ago. He thought of Erwin kissing those breasts. Of his cock sliding into the place where only Levi's should have gone.

Levi was disgusting, a middle class moralizing prick. He didn't own Petra's body.

But the thought of Erwin touching her made Levi want to go back there and finish the bastard off.

The ride lasted forever and also was over way too soon. The driver stopped. Levi got out of the car and faced his front door. Maybe Petra would've gone to her sister's. She often fled there when things got bad.

But he entered and found her seated at the kitchen table. She must've been waiting a while; a cup of tea had gone ice cold. She looked up at him with a swollen face, but no more tears.

"Hello," she said quietly. She started to rise, but he held up a hand to stop her. She sat. Levi couldn't look at her. He saw her lips and thought of Erwin kissing them. He had no urge to hurt her in any way like he had Erwin. He wasn't that much of a monster.

But he wanted tea.

"Let me…"

"I got it," he said. He winced; his side ached still, though it was better now than it had been. He filled the kettle and turned on the stove. He stood by the sink and gazed out the kitchen window, onto the neighboring house's brick wall. Petra did not cry. She waited for him to speak. "Thought you'd be sobbing by now."

"I'm trying to change my habits," she said.

"Mmm." He gripped the edges of the sink. No other way around it. Time to talk. He hated talking, but it had to be done. "It's not that you fucked him. You thought I was dead. You weren't cheating on me. At least, you didn't know you were." He breathed out. Slowly. "He told me he took advantage of you."

"I asked him to—"

"He said you said something bad would happen to you if you didn't fuck."

Petra sniffed. Just once. "I…I had bad dreams. Those four days were the worst of my life. I…thought I'd hurt myself if I didn't get relief. It was the wrong kind of relief, but…I was afraid I'd do something more permanent."

His heart weakened. His angel, the damn light of his life had been hurting so fucking bad. He should be holding her, comforting her. She'd hurt because she loved him; she'd fucked Erwin because she loved Levi. It was some help.

Just not enough.

"You both could've kept quiet about this shit. I wouldn't have known."

"That's not what a marriage is. I had to tell you."

"I know. I hate it, but I know."

The tea boiled. He took the kettle off, poured hot water into the teapot. The ritual of making tea soothed him. And it gave him something to focus on; he couldn't look at her just yet.

"Levi," she whispered. "I love you so much. I wanted to die rather than live without you. The only thing that stopped me was Ku…" She started crying then. He felt himself bowing under the weight of her sadness. "After that night with Erwin, I knew what a horrible thing I'd done. I knew I had to change. I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me." He meant it. He finally sat at the table with her. She looked at him with those wide, sad eyes. Those amber eyes. Once, he'd had feverish dreams of those eyes. He'd touched himself desperately, alone in his barracks room, imagining the impossible. That this angel could love him. Love him for what he was, when he couldn't love himself.

The impossible had come true. She loved him more than he could've ever expected. She loved all of him.

Levi took her hands. Petra squeezed.

"You were the one who was hurting. I know that. You felt like shit and you needed help. It's not your fault, Petra."

She gasped, tears dropping down her cheeks. She leaned over to kiss him.

He pulled away.

"I know you thought I was dead. I know you were hurting. But…" He bared his teeth, felt the demon take over him. "You couldn't even go a week without fucking someone else."

"I told you it's because I was hurting so much." She gave a few broken sobs. "Not because I was…moving on from you."

"I know. I know. But now I also know what it'd be like if I'd died for real. How soon you'd be in someone else's bed. Even if it was just to feel better. And…fuck." He turned his face away, full of self-loathing. "I'm a real piece of shit for this, but I think of him fucking you and I can't even look at you."

Petra didn't cry then. She just became very quiet. She wrapped her arms around herself. There was no sound in the kitchen.

"Do you think you can get over it in time?" she whispered.

"I want to. Look, I don't want to make you suffer. I sure as shit won't leave you. For Kuchel, and the baby. And I love you. Always. But…I don't know if we can go back. I'm a petty, awful bitch, and I hate that about myself. But you didn't lie to me, so I won't lie to you. I don't think it can be what it was between us now."

Petra inhaled deeply. She held that breath a long time, then practically deflated.

"All right."

She got up and poured him a cup of tea. She set it before him. They sat at the table together for another hour. He still burned to touch her, but every time he looked at those sweet eyes, those delicate lips, he thought of Erwin covering her with his body and Levi wanted to walk out that door once again.

You're punishing her and you shouldn't be. She loves you, not him. She slept with him to keep herself from doing something worse. She thought you were dead. This isn't her fault.

Yeah. I know. But I can't help the way I feel. I'm not gonna put on a show to make either of us happy. It won't, anyway. Lying won't do us any good.

"Kuchel should be getting back soon. Mama's dropping her off." Petra stood, and wiped her cheeks. "I'll get dinner started."

"I can help."

"You need to rest." She unloaded some pots and opened the cupboard doors. She stopped, her face hidden from him. Her voice was rough when she spoke. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"When I beat the shit out of him? A little. He's not coming around here anymore."

"I know. This will sound bad, but…it wasn't his fault either."

"He fucked you when you were strung out."

"Yes. He did. But I asked him to. I wanted him to."

"Well, I'm not hitting you if that's what you're after. I'd never do that."

"I know. But Kuchel loves him. He loves her, and I think he needs—"

"I don't give a fuck what he needs."

That wasn't strictly true, but at least it made them both stop talking.

Kuchel came home. Levi could at least devote himself to listening to her babble happily about ponies and Aunt Brigitta and babies and…knives? The kid was weird. Just like him.

He kissed the girl's plump cheek.

"I love you, Papa." She snuggled against him.

"I love you more than anything," he whispered against the top of her head. Even after years of being a father, saying words like that felt weird. Always would. But Kuchel had made him a father, and he couldn't go back to who he was before that.

Petra didn't get in the way. She made dinner, but had to endure Levi taking care of the dishes. He didn't like being pampered. Not when she was so miserable, at least, and when her misery was his fault.

This was the first night they managed to get Kuchel into her own bed. He had to stay there a damn half hour until she fell asleep, though. Well, one step at a time. Petra sang near every song she knew; he read Kuchel two boring faerie tales. His daughter kept hugging his hand; when he tried to move, she jerked awake. When the kid finally went to sleep, Levi and Petra snuck out of the room. Petra sighed in exhaustion. She looked meaningfully at him, and headed for their bedroom. But Levi stopped.

"I'm gonna make up a bed on the couch," he said.

Petra stopped. Her shoulders slumped. Took her a minute to answer.

"I'll sleep there. You need to be in bed," she said. "For your ribs."

"Fuck no. You take the bed, I got the couch."

She fought him for several minutes, but he won. He was stubborn. It was the weirdest, saddest thing he'd ever done, finding the spare blanket and an extra pillow, Petra making up the bed as comfortable as she could. Both of them being extremely polite around each other, her begging him once more to let her take the couch, him insisting she go upstairs and get a good sleep. She made the couch look extremely cozy, fluffed pillows and smoothed blankets over and over, trying to keep the moment going. Finally, there was nothing more to say.

It had been years since they'd slept apart when they didn't have to. Petra wavered at the foot of the stairs, her eyes pleading with him to relent.

God, he wanted to. He wanted to take her upstairs and wrap himself in her arms. She gave him comfort like no one else could.

She was his sanctuary.

And he just…couldn't bear it.

"Good night, Petra."

"Good night. I love you." She clutched the banister.

"Love you."

He would always mean it. He just couldn't stand the pain of it.

She went upstairs. He got clean, then stripped down to his boxers and turned off the lamp. He lay in his lonely bed and stared at the ceiling, imagined her getting under the blankets. He could be there with her. All he had to do was climb some stairs.

But he thought of her riding Erwin, and the thought made his blood freeze in his veins.

Levi wasn't even sure why he was in this bed. He wasn't going to sleep tonight either way.

But lying here felt like spite. He was telling her that he wasn't going to be hers. That he'd take any bed than hers.

He was a bad man. But then again, he'd always been one. She'd convinced him for a few short years he wasn't a piece of shit. But he was. He was.

Levi lay there and stared into the darkness.

---

She buried her face in the pillow and cried.

The other side of the bed had never been so cold and empty. Not even when she thought he was dead.

If you'd stayed in your own bed for one more night, he'd be with you right now. He'd be making love to you. Now he may never touch you again. It's your fault.

Petra got up once and went to the bedroom door. She leaned her forehead against it, and swore she could feel him pressed up against the other side. The way he had that first night in Marley, when they'd had to pretend not to be in love. She'd felt him waiting for her to open the door and enter his arms.

She could feel him now, waiting on the other side. She gasped.

"Levi."

Petra flung open the door.

No one was there.

She could hear him breathing downstairs. He'd had no desire to come up here.

He was happy to leave her alone.

Petra shut the door, returned to her bed, and lay awake the rest of the night.

---

"Kiss!"

Kuchel sounded cross. Petra was carrying her out the door on their way to visit Brigitta. The woman was due any day now, and looked like an overripe pumpkin. Poor thing.

"Okay, sweetheart." Petra kissed Kuchel's cheek, but the girl fussed.

"No. Kiss Papa!"

Kuchel waved her arm behind them. Levi was watching from back in the hall.

"Kuchel. Your mother and I aren't trained damn monkeys," he grumbled, but Petra walked back to him.

"Oh, a little kiss wouldn't hurt." Secretly, her heart was beating so fast. These last three days, she and Levi had been polite and kind, but there had been no heat. He'd kissed her cheek, but not her lips. She was so desperate for his touch, but wouldn't force it. He glared at Kuchel as Petra approached, as if silently reprimanding his daughter.

"Kiss Mama, Papa." Kuchel pouted.

"Eh." But he let Petra lean in and kiss his lips. Just once. It was a sweet kiss. Tender. There was no cruelty.

But he stopped after one. No desire for more. It was like a spear going into her heart, but she didn't cry. She couldn't. One day, he might be able to come back to her, at least a little bit. He might come back to their bed. Petra had never been as cold in her life as she had these last three nights without him. She would've gone downstairs and gotten on top of him on the sofa if she'd believed in even the smallest way he wanted her.

But he didn't. He'd always love her, but she may have killed his lust.

Sometimes she wanted to burst into tears and scream at him. Why was he punishing her like this? Didn't he know how much pain she'd been in? If she'd loved him less, she'd never have made such an atrocious mistake.

But she couldn't cry, or scream. She could only endure.

"Okay. See, Kuchel? Now let's go to Auntie Brigitta's." Petra turned away, fighting down a lump in her throat.

"Oi." Levi stepped up behind her. "Um. Say hi for me. Be safe. You need me to go with you?"

"No one's going to jump us. Unless you'd like to come?" Her every cell vibrated with hope.

"Nah. See you later."

With that, he went into the kitchen, probably for some tea. Petra took Kuchel out the door, and into the streets. She set the child on the ground and Kuchel walked along, her hand in Petra's.

"Do you still love Papa?" Kuchel sounded unnerved.

"More than anything."

"Does he love you?"

"Yes." That answer was less certain.

"Then why he sleep downstairs?"

"His…his doctors said he needs to sleep down there for a while. For his ribs."

"Oh. Okay." Kuchel hummed a little song.

Petra wanted to die.

They got to Brigitta's. Her parents were already there, and took Kuchel while Petra went upstairs and sat with her heavily pregnant sister. Summer was in the air, and Brigitta was always covered in a light layer of sweat. Petra wet a cloth and sat beside her sister, wiping her face.

"Thanks, Pet." Brigitta sighed and rubbed her protruding belly. "Ugh, this little one can't come out fast enough."

"So. Boy or girl? What do you think?" Petra felt a million miles removed from this conversation, but she tried to focus. She could use the distraction.

"Hmm. I'm thinking girl? But Edvard is sure it's a boy. We're calling it Oswald if that's the case. If it's a girl…" She grinned. "Petra. Since her aunt helped make all this possible."

I hope it's a girl for poor Oswald's sake. But she said nothing.

"Hope you're enjoying the last chances you have to sleep for a while." She forced a smile.

"Hey. Is everything okay?" Brigitta took her hand. "With you and Levi?"

Petra had told Brigitta about her…indiscretion. Her sister had been shocked and sympathetic. She hadn't been mad at Petra, or at Levi for his feelings. Brigitta just saw it as a bad, sad situation.

"Um. Kuchel's starting to notice things are weird." Petra blinked away tears. "I just wish he'd hold me again," she whispered.

"He will. You'll get past this." Brigitta rubbed her hand. "I've never seen two people so in love. I really envy that about you."

"What, you don't love Edvard?" she teased.

"Of course I do. But…" She shook her head. "This'll sound so bad, but I married him because I wanted a baby and he was sweet and kind and wanted one, too. I'm glad I married him, but I could have married lots of other men and been as happy. But I know there's only Levi for you. It's wonderful."

"And scary." Petra felt so emptied out. "My heart's broken without him. I feel even further away from him than I did when I thought he was dead." Her chin quivered. "Why did I have to fuck… What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. You were grieving." Brigitta huffed. "Honestly, Levi's starting to make me angry. He can't hold this against you forever."

"He doesn't. That's the thing. If he were mad at me, that'd be one thing, but he's not. He's really not. He understands what happened. He just…can't help feeling the way he does. He loves me. He's kind to me. But…he doesn't want to touch me anymore."

She had to stop, or she'd break. Brigitta tugged Petra to lie down next to her. They shared the same pillow. Petra sniffled as Brigitta stroked her hair.

"You're the little sister. You're pregnant. I should be doing this for you," Petra grumbled. Brigitta laughed.

"When little Oswald or Petra shows up, you can take lots of care of me."

"Yeah." Petra laid a hand on her own stomach for an instant. Was Oruo in there right now? Would his appearance soften Levi at all? God, she hoped it would. She looked at Brigitta, so pale but so radiant. "Any day now. Are you excited?"

"I'm so happy. Thank you, Petra." Her sister kissed her forehead. "I'd never have this if you hadn't helped. You made my dream come true."

At least I could do that for someone.

Petra sighed and got up. "I should see Mama and find out if there's anything I can—"

"Ahhh!" Brigitta squealed and clutched her stomach. "Oh. Oh my god."

It didn't take a genius to figure it out. Petra pulled back the cover, and found a large wet stain spreading across the mattress. Brigitta's water had broken.

"Oh shit…" Petra snapped to it. "I'd better call the doctor!"

"Yes!" Brigitta laughed, almost giddy as Petra hurried out the door and down the stairs, shouting for her mother. Saying it was time.

This was good. At least this would take her mind off of Levi.

A little bit.

---

"I heard you had a little run in with the good Captain Levi a few nights ago," Zeke drawled. Erwin sat with him in the Tower apartment, taking some afternoon coffee while Zeke continued to lay out everything he'd heard or seen from Willy Tyburn. He wasn't exactly a fount of information. Besides, they weren't even certain Willy was the traitor.

Willy was a brave man, but it took a lot of balls to put yourself in the position of getting blown up aboard a ship. And he hadn't fought Kiyomi at all when they found out about the Grasshopper, though that wasn't proof.

Well. Back to Zeke's intrusive statement.

"Yes. Levi came to resign his place in the military." Erwin tapped the blank page with his pen. "Shall we?"

"He must have been very irate after Hybernia. He's not the sort of man to understand death that isn't purely utilitarian. You know. Kill or be killed. He's not the sort to murder children to prevent more murdered children in the future. Levi's not like us."

"No." Erwin glowered. "He's not."

Thank god he's not.

"Was there any other reason he'd have been so hot under the collar?" Zeke gave a lazy smile. Erwin stiffened. How the hell did he know?

"Has anyone spoken to you?"

"Talk gets around. I was just curious, but I see from your expression something more did happen. You two seem so uncommonly close. Hard to imagine what could come between you. If I had to guess?" Zeke poked his chin. "The wife. Were you a naughty fellow while we were on that island?"

"You're here because I'm allowing it, Zeke. Remember that."

"And because you don't want Marley to keep the power of the Beast Titan. Remember that."

"There are more effective ways of keeping your power to myself." Erwin narrowed his eyes. "It's no trouble to get someone to eat you."

"You'd do the honors yourself?" Zeke sneered. "Or do you plan on eating Eren when the time comes?"

"I'm tired of your games."

"As I'm tired of yours. You can't keep me in this damn tower for the next eighteen months."

"You'd be surprised what I can do. Now give me some information on Willy that I can use, or—"

"There's one person who hates Willy Tybur even more than you or I. One person who would do anything in this world to see him suffer." Zeke pulled his beard. "Can you possibly guess who I mean?"

"Giulia." It was a thought he'd had before.

"We were both there the day her son was selected for the next War Hammer. We both saw the way she went after her husband. She's close to him; she hates him; she has access to information and a way to give said information to our enemies. I'd look at her, if you want my advice."

"I've already considered such a thing." Erwin stood. "Now if you don't mind, I have other meetings this afternoon. I'd suggest you stay comfortable; Marley will be sending a ship for you in a day's time."

"You're kicking me out?"

"I have no further use for you." Erwin hoped Zeke would not call his bluff. He wanted to put the man into a state of mild panic; he'd be easier to manipulate then. "Unless you have something important to tell me?"

Zeke's blue eyes tightened. He scowled.

"I have so many important things to tell you, Majesty. But are you ready to hear them?"

What the fuck did that mean?

Before Erwin could ask, the door burst wide. A soldier entered the room, looking pale and a bit unsteady.

"Majesty." He snapped a salute. "There's…there's been a new development at the southern port."

Erwin looked at Zeke. The man appeared only curious. Maybe it was real; maybe it was an act. Maybe he already knew what this soldier knew, whatever it was.

"Well?" Erwin glared. "What's the news?"

---

Brigitta was in labor. Apparently things were moving fast. Maybe Levi ought to go over there. Maybe he ought to sit with Edvard; the man'd done a lot for him and his family over the years. He was a good guy.

Levi just couldn't bear the thought of sitting beside Petra, waiting with her while new life came into the world. Reminding him of the night Kuchel was born, the happiest night of his life. Well. That and his wedding night. And the night he and Petra first made love.

And every night they'd made love since.

Fuck. He wanted her so bad. He loved her so much.

He couldn't stand the thought of touching her. It was fire under his skin, this wanting, but when he looked at her he saw Erwin's hands all over her body and Levi's blood turned to ice.

Maybe one day he'd get past this. Just not today.

But it'd be a nice thing for him to go over there. He wasn't much of a nice person, but the Rals had been good to him. Levi paid his debts. He took responsibility.

The phone rang as he debated getting his coat. He picked up.

"Yeah?" He waited for Petra's voice with the news. Instead…

"Levi?"

Fuck. Erwin. The sound of the man's voice was electricity through his body. It thrilled and infuriated him in equal measure.

"Fuck off. I'm not interested." Whatever it was, whatever the manipulation, Erwin could sit in hell with it. He started to hang up.

"Eren escaped!" Erwin barked. Levi froze. He put the receiver to his ear again.

"Fuck you mean?"

"We just received word from the southern port. He incapacitated Connie but didn't eat him, thankfully. We don't know where he is now. But we suspect he's headed for Mitras."

For Zeke. Levi's head spun as he sat down.

"What the fuck is going on? Why's Eren doing this?"

"I'm afraid he and Zeke may have some sort of plan for the Founding Titan. The boy's been behaving so strangely for quite some time now."

Yeah. No shit. Eren was in the running for the 'craziest asshole' prize. He might even win. But Levi couldn't get his mind around this. The kid he'd watched over for four years, the yelling, passionate, good-natured, hypervolatile kid was just…what?

Betraying them? Disobeying Erwin? What the fuck was happening?

"What do you want me to do?" he croaked.

"I'm not asking you to rejoin the military. I just need you to come to Mitras and help oversee Zeke's removal. I've gotten you a private train, you could be here in less than an hour. You are the only man I trust to take down Zeke or Eren if it's truly necessary."

Levi shut his eyes. The doctors wouldn't be thrilled at the idea, but he was almost totally healed by now. His Ackerman genes.

"Think Zeke's got some kind of plan?"

"I do. It's my hunch."

Erwin's hunches were rarely wrong. Fuck, that evil monkey thought he could put one over on all of them? Levi bared his teeth.

"Fine. This changes nothing between us. But fine. I'm on my way."

"Thank you, Levi."

Levi hung up, went and got his coat. On his way out the door, he paused. Fuck.

He had to. It wouldn't be right otherwise.

He went to the phone and made another call.

---

"I don't think that's a good idea." Petra gaped, trying to process what he'd told her. Levi's voice was calm, but rough on the other end of the line.

"I can't let Zeke and Eren touch. Whatever they're thinking, they couldn't tell us they're up to. They don't want us to know their plan. I don't trust them, especially not Zeke."

She understood. Truly. But…

"What if you get hurt?" she whispered. Or, god forbid, killed?

"If these two have some kind of insane plan, my life's a small price to pay to stop it."

"Not for Kuchel," she whispered. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of her daughter's agony if Levi…

"This is for Kuchel. And the baby." A pause. "And you. Zeke Jaeger's no friend to Paradis. I'll be careful. But I'm going. I'm on my way now."

"I don't get a say in this?" She felt her blood pressure rising.

"No. You don't."

It was as if he'd shut a door on her. Petra swallowed; she knew there was no way to change his mind.

"Then go. But be careful," she said lifelessly. A tear traced down her cheek.

"I will." Another pause. She heard him breathing.

"I love you," she murmured. "So much."

He sighed heavily.

"Love you, too."

Then he was gone. Petra hung up and pressed her hand to the wall. She wanted to start kicking and screaming—

"Was that Levi?" Ingrid stood beside her. Petra wiped her face.

"Yeah. He, uh, got called away on business and can't come."

"Business? I thought he retired?"

"I can't, Mama. I can't talk about this. I…" She had to get away from well meaning concern. Petra walked away abruptly and climbed the stairs. She stood in the doorway of Brigitta's bedroom. The doctor was at her bedside, as was Edvard. Brigitta was red-faced, inhaling and exhaling in time with the doctor's orders.

Brigitta's eyes lit up when she saw Petra. She waved at her. The doctor let Petra come in. She stood by Brigitta's side and held her hand.

"Contractions are coming along nicely." The doctor took Brigitta's pulse and nodded. "I'm hoping she'll start pushing soon."

"Thank you," Edvard said. He was beaming, looked deliriously happy. He leaned over and kissed Brigitta. She beamed, then frowned and cried out in pain, clutching Petra's hand so hard it was honestly painful. But Petra smiled through the discomfort.

"You're doing so good," she whispered.

"Oof." Brigitta huffed and puffed as Edvard and the doctor stepped out into the hall for a quick discussion. "Almost…there." She beamed.

"You look beautiful. Really." Petra picked up a wet cloth from the basin on the floor and wiped Brigitta's forehead. "You're glowing."

"I'm so excited." Tears stood out in the woman's eyes. "I just want him to get here. Oof."

She winced. The contractions could be killer.

"It helps if you just focus on getting through the next five seconds. Count them. Then the five after that. It makes the time more manageable."

"Thanks. I will." Brigitta relaxed against the pillow and shut her eyes. "Is Levi coming?"

"He's…he can't. He got called out of town by the king."

Brigitta opened one eye with concern.

"Is everything all right?"

How much could she tell?

"There's an issue with one of the shifters in Mitras. They just need to move him somewhere else. They only trust Levi to take care of him."

"Is that wise? He's not fully himself yet."

Petra tried to stop the stab of fear. It didn't quite work.

"He's more dangerous at half capacity than most are at their strongest. Trust me. He'll be okay."

She needed to believe that. She couldn't live otherwise.

"Pet?" Brigitta kissed her hand. "He loves you. Don't ever think he doesn't."

"He won't come back to me, though. I can feel it."

Just saying the words almost undid her.

"He will. You two were made for each other."

"Sometimes I wish he'd find…" She blushed. "I wish he'd find some woman he liked for a night and just…"

"Are you serious?" Brigitta laughed. "Ugh, that's such a… I don't know. It's like you're trying to even things out. That's ridiculous."

"I know, I know. But it feels fair."

"What's fair is him realizing how much you love him and—"

Brigitta's expression changed. The smile disappeared. Her eyes bulged.

She sat up and screamed. It was a scream Petra had only heard on the battlefield before, as a titan ripped somebody apart.

Brigitta clutched and crushed Petra's hand. Petra barked in pain, but held onto her sister and shouted for the doctor.

"Hey! Hey, get in here! She needs help!"

The doctor rushed inside, along with Edvard. Petra extricated herself from her sister's grip and gave the doctor space to work. He laid Brigitta back on the pillow, but her sister kept sobbing. She clutched at her stomach.

"It's stabbing me! It hurts!" she screamed. Petra heard her parents' footsteps like thunder on the stairs. The doctor pulled back the bedclothes.

There was blood spreading on the mattress.

Edvard made a gagging sound and collapsed into a chair. Petra stared at the blood. She looked at the doctor.

"Get me some hot water," he said. His voice was hoarse. "And call the hospital for a nurse. Go now!"

She did, galloping out the door and past her parents. Petra was too dizzy and sick to cry or feel as she picked up the phone and rang the hospital.

She had seen the fear in the doctor's eyes.

She had seen…preparation.

He was prepared for death tonight.

---

Zeke smiled as they fixed him with handcuffs. Like these would do any good. They marched him down the corridor and down the stairs. A car would be waiting below to take him to some new, isolated location.

Eren. It's time.

The signal had been given. Eren had escaped.

Soon they'd be together. Soon they'd touch.

Soon all Eldians…and the world…would be saved.

They walked out the front door and down the path. The iron gates opened, letting Zeke and his escort onto the street. A car was indeed waiting. So was King Erwin.

Zeke's smile withered. Levi Ackerman stood there, glowering at him.

"I thought you'd retired," Zeke said. Levi fell into step beside him on the way to the car.

"Can't let you go around unprotected, Beardy," Levi snarled.

This was no good. Hmm. Riling Levi was a dangerous idea, but it was the only thing that might provide a brief opening for Zeke to slip through.

"Nice of you to work for the man who killed over a million Hybernians," Zeke said. Levi's jaw clenched, but he didn't respond. One more push, then. "Tell me. Does your wife prefer Erwin's attentions to yours?" Zeke whispered.

Oh, he'd been right about that. He'd been so right.

Levi turned on him in a flash. The man's eyes held a savage light as he bared his teeth. As he took Zeke by the front of his shirt and hurtled him to the ground. Zeke felt three bones break as he landed. He bit back the pain; they would heal soon enough.

"Levi!"

The king was on top of the soldier in an instant. As they argued, Zeke got to his feet. Damn. He looked at the soldiers who'd escorted him; all the ones who'd guarded him in the hall. Who'd tasted his wine.

Give it a minute. Perhaps he should wait until they were outside the city limits. Yes. Yes, that would be wiser. Easier to get away then; in the countryside, Levi would be less effective on ODM.

Good. Zeke let the soldiers help him up, dust him off. Zeke looked to the right, at the line of dirty hobos and panhandlers who begged for coin.

He saw one of them stand up.

"Let's go." A soldier jerked him forward. Zeke let himself be led away—

"Zeke Jaeger?" the hobo said. Zeke stopped in surprise; he didn't think he was so instantly recognizable. He turned.

"What?" he said.

The figure pushed back its hood. It reached into the band of its pants.

It pulled out a gun and aimed at him.

"Do you remember me?" the woman said.

Her voice was guttural. Her eyes were fire. Half her face was melted away.

The pieces came together quickly. Zeke felt his eyes widen.

"Oh sh—"

She shot him through the throat.

---

"What the fuck?" Levi barked. He turned around just in time to see some homeless woman fire a gun at Zeke. Shit. Shit, she'd hit the monkey. He collapsed to the ground as Levi bolted ahead.

He slammed into the woman, knocking the gun from her hands. He threw her to the ground, not giving a damn if he hurt her. He kneed her in the chest. She coughed as he gripped her throat.

"Who the fuck are you?" he snarled.

Fuck, her face was burned badly. She glowered at him.

Then he heard choking. Fuck. Zeke.

"Arrest her," Levi snapped at a soldier. He got up and went to stand beside Zeke. He looked down at the ape. Zeke clawed at his throat, which had a bullet hole right in the center. Shit. Was he gonna survive this?

Zeke's glasses sat askew on his face. He glared up at Levi.

He opened his mouth wide.

The hairs all along Levi's arms stood rigid. Flashes of insight came to him: Ragako. Shiganshina.

Titans that appeared when he screamed…

"Erwin! Everyone!" Levi shouted. He took out his sword to cut off the bastard's head.

Too late.

Zeke let out a loud, undulating wail.

And all around them, the night lit up with explosions. Six. Seven. Eight.

The burned girl screamed as eight titans rose up around them, taking the spots where moments earlier Paradisian soldiers had stood.

---

It was almost midnight when she got home. She'd left Kuchel at Brigitta's, asleep in Ingrid's arms.

They wouldn't know anything tonight. Petra needed to pack a bag and bring it over. Everyone needed to try to rest.

The baby was…

Right now, I'm focused on saving your sister's life, the doctor had said an hour ago. The nurse just kept carrying bundles of bloody cloth out of Brigitta's room. Petra had never heard screams like those in her life. Stillborn. Dead in the womb.

She'll never be pregnant again.

Petra got to her knees on the living room floor. She wanted to lie down right there. She was so bodily weary.

Brigitta's son had been strangled in the womb.

He'd come into the world wrapped in his mother's uterus.

She would never be able to have another child.

Brigitta didn't know that part yet. She only knew that her son was dead. She had screamed like an animal. Kuchel had sobbed. Ingrid and Petra had kissed the girl, promised her Auntie would be better.

But even if Brigitta lived, she would never be better again.

This will kill her.

Petra hung her head. How much more? How much more pain did they have to go through? When was it enough?

She wanted Levi so badly. She wanted to be in his arms. She wanted him to stroke her hair and tell her it would be all right. It would hurt, but they would survive. They always did.

I have to get up. I have to pack. Brigitta needs me.

Yes. No time for tears. She had to be there for her sister.

Gasping, Petra stood and staggered towards the stairs.

There was a knock at the door.

She stopped. Who the fuck would be at her door now? Levi wouldn't knock. Neither would Ingrid.

Unless…

It's a soldier with bad news. Levi's in trouble. There's been an accident.

Petra dashed for the door and flung it open, bracing herself for a sad, strange face on the doorstep.

Instead, she found a very familiar one.

"Eren?" she gasped.

He escaped the southern port. He's on his way to Mitras. To Zeke.

Except he was here, with her. Petra stepped back as Eren entered and gently shut the door.

"There's an old saying," he told her by way of greeting. "More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones. Your sister found that out tonight."

"Wh-what are you—?"

"I need your help, Petra. If you help me tonight, I can save this world. Your family. Your daughter." He kept moving towards her, and she kept backing away. Her mind was whirling, broken. What was this? What was happening to her? "I can save the baby that's already growing inside you."

"Save us? What?"

"More than that. I can bring your sister's baby back to life," he said. His eyes glowed with the madness of pure sanity. The belief in what he was saying. "I can give your sister her womb back. I can bring all of them back, Petra. Nanaba. Mike. Eld. Gunther. Nifa." He raised a brow. "Oruo? There's nothing I can't do if you help. All you have to do is let me stay here. Let me wait."

"For what?" she growled.

"For whom," he answered.

"Zeke?"

He said nothing. Petra saw the phone on its cradle to her left. She looked at it, at Eren.

"Don't try to call anyone," he said. He looked so alien now. He was tall, over six feet. His long hair hung around his shoulders. His eyes were feral, a wild cat's eyes.

He was not the sweet, wild boy she'd known years ago. He was a man now. A dangerous, frightening man.

"How do you know about my sister?" she whispered.

"You don't want to know."

"I do!" she snapped. Petra lunged to the side, grabbed the phone receiver. She held it up at Eren like a weapon. "What? Will you kill me if I try to call?"

He shook his head. "No. I could never do that."

"Tell me right now. Tell me what's going on. Tell me what you want with Zeke. Tell me how you know so much about my family!"

"It's better if you don't know."

"I'll make that decision!" she howled. She shook as she leaned her back to the wall. She nearly dropped the phone, her hands trembled so badly. "Tell me. Tell me, and I'll sit here quietly and wait for Zeke. If you don't? I'll call. I'll run."

She gasped, wiped her cheeks. She'd started crying. She didn't recall when.

With a heavy sigh, Eren stepped back. He appraised her. Then he slowly nodded.

"All right. You were always good to me, Petra. You deserve that much."

"You'll tell me what's going on?"

"Yes. I swear it." He narrowed his eyes. "You know I don't lie. Not like this."

No. He didn't. Slowly, she replaced the receiver. He gestured to the living room.

"Sit down. I'm not going to hurt you, or stop you from running. But if you want the truth, you need to sit."

Slowly, she entered the living room. Slowly, she sat on the couch. He sat in an armchair opposite and studied her across the coffee table.

"All right." She licked her lips. "Tell me."

"Then let's begin simply." He sat back. "Four years ago, you were supposed to die in the titan forest. You didn't. And as a result, if I can't meet with Zeke tonight, reality itself is going to fall apart."