Chapter Three: I Cannot

"You don't look so good," Emma comments in worry, as she watches the brunette in front of her. Regina's cheeks are flushed and her eyes droop downwards as if they were weighted. On Emma's words they flick upwards, disapproval in them.

"You're rude."

Of course this would be Regina's reaction. Always so prickly on everything Emma says or has to say. "I didn't mean it that way," Emma explains, twirling her pen on her fingers, the chemistry in front of her forgotten in favor of a different type of chemistry. "You always look good, even now. You just...you look like you're sick." And then before Regina can stop her, Emma bursts out of her seat and touches Regina's forehead.

Regina reels back and slaps Emma's intrusive hand away.

"You're burning up," Emma states, settling back down, none the least phased by Regina's sharp response to her touch. "I think you might have a fever. Did you spend the whole day with it?"

"It's just a fever. I'll be fine," Regina says resolutely.

"Jesus, Regina. No, you won't be fine. You need to get medicine. Go visit the nurse so she can give you something!" Emma is appalled by Regina's lack of concern for her own health!

"I'm fine," Regina stresses. "I don't need you butting in. Besides, I have too many things to do still. I can't go home yet."

How hard headed can Regina be? Emma thought she was bad, but Regina was worse. Emma cared about Regina's health but she couldn't continue upon this trend without Regina growing suspicious about how much Emma cared. "Whatever, be like that," Emma mumbles out, flicking her pen cap off.

"Stay out of my private business," Regina retorts, but even her insults are lacking their usual strength because she's too sick.

So, it's no surprise when Emma finds Regina leaning against the wall heavily in the girl's bathroom about an hour later when school is in the after school sessions. Regina looks barely awake and Emma can't take it. Regina can hate her later all she likes, but Emma cares for her and won't let her do this to herself.

She swoops in and sweeps Regina into a bridal carry position before the brunette can even register what is happening.

Regina lets out an indignant shriek. "Unhand me right now!" she shrills, already knowing it's Emma despite being out of it for the most part.

"No," Emma says as Regina weakly struggles but then gives up, dissolving into a coughing fit. "I'm taking you to the nurse. You can berate me all you want later but not now." And Emma carries Regina out of the bathroom like she weighs nothing. Thankfully the halls are empty since everyone is either in a classroom or outside and they arrive unimpeded at the nurse's office.

The nurse's eyes bulge out when they see Regina and Emma.

"What happened?" the nurse got out of her seat, confused and worried.

"She's got a fever and was feeling weak," Emma states, putting Regina down on the bed the nurse pointed to. "But she refused to come here so I had to bring her because she got worse."

The nurse tsked at Regina in reprimand. "You foolish girl. Don't you know how dangerous to work yourself hard on a fever is?"

Regina said nothing to this, remaining tight lipped as the nurse went about to get some fever medication, water, and a wet towel. Emma stayed nearby, watching Regina with concern in her eyes. The nurse did her magic and soon Regina was medicated and tucked under the covers. When the nurse retreated and pulled the curtain around them to give Regina some privacy and quiet, Emma stayed.

"Going to make fun of me?" Regina asked, drowsy from the illness and from being medicated. Her cheeks looked paler and her eyes less shiny.

"No, I'm not," Emma stated, crossing her arms across her chest. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you caught me being imperfect," was the subdued answer.

"Regina...no," Emma assured softly, sitting down in the chair next to Regina's bed. Emma knew she was missing out on practice but hopefully coach would understand. "Not everyone's out to get you, not everyone cares about that. Humans make mistakes. Humans get sick. I won't tell anyone you got sick if it makes you feel better."

"It would," Regina concludes on and Emma can't help but wonder what sort of parents Regina has that demand this of her.

"Do your parents demand perfection of you? Do they make you...act the way you do?" Emma questions, curious.

Regina must be really out of it, because there's candor in her voice as she snuggles deeper into the pillows. "My mother is like that. She's really strict and demanding. And punishing if I get something wrong. My dad...he's kind but he never stands up to my mother and just caves into doing whatever it is she wants. And yet, neither of them are ever home. And sometimes...sometimes I think if I just do a little better, work a little harder...then they'll come back to see me and be happy for me."

Emma could feel her heart fall a bit. That sounded rough. Who knew the perfect princess of Storybrooke High had an unpleasant home life?

"I'm...my parents are never home either," Emma confessed, feeling like since Regina had shared, so should Emma. "But that's no shock. They adopted me out of the system and I'm just grateful to have a home. They're pretty chill, don't demand much from me. But it would be nice for them to actually be around." Emma's too used to being alone. It shouldn't hurt but it does. She craves that human contact.

"Hm," Regina grunts, her eyes already closed. Within seconds her chest is rising up and down gently. Emma smiles, seeing how cute Regina looks asleep like this. She gets up and goes back to practice, happy in knowing Regina is feeling better.

Regina wakes up disoriented. She's on a bed that's not hers, in a place that is not her room. She panics and flails under the white sheets before her memories flood back. Emma, carrying her here. Emma, making sure she's okay. And Emma's strong arms wrapped around her, her body soft and warm and smelling so sweet. Emma had carried Regina protectively.

Regina's chest clenches with an emotion she hasn't felt in a long time. Tenderness.

Damn Emma Swan for making her feel it. And damn Emma for caring. Regina was fine. She could handle a little fever. But now, she had spilled some of her worst insecurities to Emma. She had made herself vulnerable, less than perfect, and all to that one infuriating blonde.

She couldn't let that stand! She had to find the blonde and explain away that she had been drowsy. That none of it was true. She pulled the covers off, finding herself feeling much better than before.

The nurse heard her and came to check up on her. She had an electric thermometer in her hand and she scanned Regina's forehead with it. "Much better. Make sure you get some more rest when you go home."

"I will, thank you," Regina said though there would be no rest. She had college applications to look at and to finish. The deadlines were fast approaching and she had about a week to complete them all. Not to say she hadn't already but she was editing them.

Afterschool is ending soon, Regina having taken a long one hour nap. She is on a mission to find Emma, ready to give the woman a piece of her mind. She finds the blonde exiting the locker rooms and they almost collide into one another if Emma's hand on Regina's stomach didn't steady her.

"Oh, Regina!" Emma is all smiles, happy to see her. Her hair is damp from the showers and she smells vaguely of vanilla. She shoulders the duffel bag up higher. "Glad to see you up and on your feet."

Regina backs away, Emma's hand slipping away from her. "Yes. Thank you, I suppose for meddling in my personal affairs."

Emma's smile doesn't waver. Regina clears her throat, nervous to breech the next topic. "I also want you to know, what I said under the duress of illness is not true. I'm very happy at home."

Now Emma's smile does waver. "Regina, it's okay to not always have this perfect image-"

"I said I'm happy. I don't have any issues," Regina cuts in coldly. Her eyes are flinty now as her heart pounds in her chest. She watches as Emma's shoulders droop, the woman fighting an inside battle. "Okay, sure," Emma settles on at last, not entirely sure of her words.

"Good," Regina nods her head stiffly. And then walks away.

A new distance arises between Emma and Regina. It's as if because Regina had opened up to Emma about something too private that now Regina had to compensate by being extra nasty. And it irked Emma, because she thought there had been progress. Apparently she was wrong.

"So just fuck out your frustrations with Merida," Ruby suggests as they're in the school gym on a wintery school afternoon. It's cold outdoors but it's hot here, Emma working up a good sweat as she keeps her body in peak form. The soccer season may be ending soon, but that doesn't mean Emma gets any time off from the gym.

Emma scowls at Ruby, careful to keep her voice low because Merida is on the other side of the gym. She's always here now whenever Emma is around. It's kind of flattering but also annoying at the same time. "I'm not interested in her like that."

"You don't have to be. You both can just be sex buddies."

Emma grunts as she lifts a weight and then puts it down. She gives Ruby a glare. "Then I'll feel like I'm using her."

"But you are. For good sex. Unless it was bad?" Ruby inquires.

Emma shrugs. "It was...alright."

"Really?" Ruby shrills a bit. "I heard red heads were crazy in bed! And she's so boisterous on the field!"

"Boisterous?" Emma gives Ruby a curious look now, because that is not language Ruby would ordinarily use. "You been hanging around Belle?"

Ruby flushes, but tries to brush this off as nothing. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Emma grins widely. Oh, she's got Ruby now. "You know she's straight, right?" Belle's the local nerd at their school. Smart, demure, and with a subdued beauty. She doesn't show off her talents and mainly keeps to herself and to the library.

"Supposedly. And so is Regina," Ruby counters, avoiding Emma's eyes.

"Supposedly," Emma mirrors and smiles. Ruby always makes fun of Emma's crushes. It's nice to do the same to Ruby once in a while. "Let's talk about you and Belle."

"No, we're supposed to be talking about you and Regina and Merida," Ruby states.

"Don't deflect. I know you've been hanging out with her. I've heard the rumors. But I never knew it was because you liked her!"

Ruby flushes even more red, eyes going wide. "Emma, shut up!" Ruby warns and Emma only laughs.

Emma knows Regina can't avoid her forever and so she decides to give Regina some time. She waves to her in the hallway, talks to her during their tutoring sessions. And eventually, Regina loosens up. "What are you doing for Christmas," Emma asks Regina.

The brunette pauses, deliberating how much she can tell Emma. "My parents are coming back for New Years, so I'll probably go over to Mal's house for the holiday."

"My parents are coming back for the week we have off. But..." at this Emma got a random idea. "If you want a family Christmas, we'd be more than happy to welcome you." This offer turns out to be a bad idea because Regina's face shuts down.

"No, thank you."

"Right," Emma can't help but feel a bit hurt. Regina had so many walls up, it was hard to tell when Emma might hit one. Dejectedly she turns back to her work.

Tomorrow is the last day of class and Emma thinks she may just give herself an early Christmas present and go home instead of class. She keeps to that plan, Ruby arriving at her house later instead of going to class either and the two of them drink some beers Ruby's college friend got her and smoke in the backyard.

They talk shit, throw snow at each other, and then order a shit ton of pizza and watch movies. Ruby leaves at three in the morning and Emma cleans up the house because her parents will be coming tomorrow morning.

She hasn't seen them in a while and she misses them, despite them not being her real parents. She got them some small gifts and hopes they like them. It's going to be Emma's first holiday with family and she doesn't want to be too hopeful because she knows foster kids like her don't normally get nice holidays or nice things.

Her parents also explicitly told her they don't celebrate this holiday but that they want to do a family dinner, watch goofy films, and then exchange presents, so Emma's hoping it all goes well tomorrow. She tries to put out of her mind how she failed at asking Regina to come over. The two of them may be on talking terms now but they don't ever hang out unless it's homework related. Unless...Emma comes up with some nerdy thing that Regina might like. Like a museum or something. Belle might have some ideas.

Emma will talk to her later.

"Regina, darling, it's so nice to see you," Mal's mother opens the door and gives air kisses to Regina as the brunette stands on the door step, bearing gifts for the family. Expensive gifts. Nothing less is acceptable as mother says, appearance are important even if they have to be faked.

"Good to see you too, Ms. Drake," Regina smiles, ever cordial. She steps inside, the butler taking her coat and shoes and Regina then following Mal's mother into the dinning room. The table is already set but no one is eating yet, all of them waiting for her.

"Good evening," she greets and they chorus back to her. Mal slides out Regina's seat for her after Regina leaves her presents by the massive tree. This is a custom now, Regina practically part of the family. She's known Mal for years now namely because of Cora and Mal's mom being friends. At first Regina and Mal had only pretended to get along on playdates when their mother's would convene. But soon, they realized they could actually get along and be of use to each other. Because both their mothers believed that friendships were only to be had if they served a purpose. Such as having benefits of getting then further in the world.

Mal and Regina didn't entirely ascribe to such ideology, but they played the part in front of their families in order to keep up the illusion.

"Regina dear, how are your studies going?" Mal's mother asked and Regina put aside the fork she had been eating with so she could speak properly. She would not be caught having terrible table manners. Mal's mother would take this chance to deride Regina later to Cora, in an effort to show off how much more superior Mal was. Regina would never understand her mother's relationships with her friends, because they were all so hostile.

"All A's as always," Regina says, treading a careful line between being humble and proud. Couldn't be too much of each or else she would be talked about badly. Regina did enjoy spending time with her friend on the holidays but she had to often slog through all the unpleasantness first. Regina only wished she could go away to a ski lounge of some sort if only to avoid all this. Maybe next year she and her friends could go. They certainly had enough money for it. It would just be a matter of convincing their parents.

"And your college process?" is the follow up question. "Mal has already received letters from her early acceptance schools." Which is a lie since Mal didn't mention anything yet but Regina knows better than to call out this bluff.

Regina wonders, why had Emma tried to invite her for the holidays? Was it out of pity? If so, Regina didn't need any pity. She was more than capable of spending Christmas alone. She had done so a handful of times when the Drake's weren't around.

Conversation flows in this manner, with Regina fielding questions left and right and eventually passing the interrogation because she and Mal are allowed to go upstairs after dinner to hang out.

Mal knows to no longer apologize by her mother's words, because it's habit for this happen and both of them have gotten used to it. "What do you want to watch?" Mal asks, flicking on her wall screen TV.

Regina shrugs. "What do you recommend?" Regina doesn't have time to typically watch TV. It's all work, work and no play. If she's not doing work then she's expected to clean the house, handle household affairs or work on her hobbies and skills. Such as playing violin, cello and piano, plus her mastery of two other foreign languages. Regina knows English, French and Latin. She knows Spanish too because her dad taught her some even though Cora was very strict about not having any of that language in her house.

But it was Regina's heritage and she wanted to keep it. She was proud of it though she could never admit it to her mother.

"There's this new show about blind dating. I watch it with William. He's surprisingly into reality trash shows and he got me hooked on it."

Regina plopped down on the sheets of the comforter. "What do your parents think of him?"

Mal scowls, that one expression already conveying so much. "They say he's alright as long as he doesn't become a distraction. But clearly, they're hoping I don't stay with him. He may have talent and good money but he's not the brightest tool in the shed."

"Ah, of course. Not perfect enough. But when you go to college, what can they do. They can't control you there," Regina says which is wishful thinking because Cora's in another country and she still manages to micro manage Regina's future.

"I don't know," Mal sighs, flopping down on the covers as the show plays. "I really like him. I don't want to have to break up with him."

"Then pretend you do, but don't," Regina points out, tugging down the collar of her shirt. She's been feeling incredibly warm all evening long. Is she falling ill? She doesn't feel it. She pushes the thought aside as she and Mal mindlessly watch the show playing, laughing at how vapid some of the people on the show are, making dumb decisions.

At nine they open up presents and Regina smiles and is thankful for her gifts. Afterwards, she goes home and goes straight to bed because she is also strangely exhausted.

A/N: Hmmmm, what could possibly happen next? Will Regina present first, or will it be Emma?