Chapter Thirteen: Ever Have

Emma didn't expect Henry to run away. Normally, he was very mature for his age. Her little old man she used to call him with love and he wouldn't repute it. He was proud of his stamp collection, and his old coin collection, and he read books that would even make her adult mind ache. But this was just irrefutable proof he was Regina's son. If the brown hair and the brown eyes weren't proof enough, it was his behavior. Even if Regina hadn't raised him, even if she hadn't been given a chance to, Henry had something of her in him, which meant Regina's strict personality wasn't just something of her mother's creation, but of Regina's own nature. Henry did enjoy some things a child his age should. Like eating sugary cereal, and watching cartoons and playing with toy cars when the mood struck. But he was organized, and meticulous, something Emma didn't have and couldn't teach him.

He liked getting things done, and he was serious for his age. Also a lot smarter than a ten year old had a right to be. Which was why, she regretted telling him anything about who his birth parent was.

"Ma, tell me about dad," Henry asked when she was tucking him into bed in his flannel pjs that normally middle aged men wore. But he had chosen it himself, along with the boringly gray bed sheets. At least he had posters up of Iron man on his walls.

And Emma, who normally remained tight lipped on the mention of Regina other than sharing how much she had loved her with Henry, found herself caving in. Maybe it was the five drinks she'd had, the exhaustion of working a dangerous bounty hunting job, or the fact it was Henry's birthday in two days and Regina should be here to see her son grow up. And maybe, if things had been different, she could have. She could have been here for everyone of Henry's birthdays.

But, things had gotten in the way and that wasn't an option.

Figuring her son was almost ten and could handle this, she began to speak, eyes distant and out the window, watching the dark streets. "Henry...sometimes it happens that a child has parents who are both mommies, or both daddies. That was the case for me. Your daddy is actually a woman. A woman named Regina. She and I knew each other in school. We were both very young and very in love."

If Henry was shocked by this, he didn't show the signs of it. He only listened more intently.

"Then what happened? If she loved you so much, why did she leave you?"

Emma swallowed thickly. "She didn't leave me, I left her. I know she looked for me, for a long time. As did my friends. But I couldn't stay at the school anymore. I was in danger and because I was going to have you, I couldn't stay there or else you might be put in danger. I left her so I could have you, Henry. And I am so very happy to have you." She leaned in and kissed him on the forehead.

"But would you also be happy to have her?" he poised and she sighed.

There was a part of her that would never truly ever get over Regina. Was it because they had left things so uncertainly and the ghosts of Emma's past decisions haunted her until she amended them? Or because Regina had been her mate?

She knew Alphas and Omegas had the ability to become mates, which meant they were destined for each other. Had that been the case for them? If so it would explain never being able to fully let go.

Emma answered Henry softly, "I wouldn't mind having her here. But, I've lived for so long without her, that I don't know if it even really matters." She kissed him on the forehead once more and then bid him a good night.

Emma should have known telling him anything was a bad idea. Over the course of the week, he weaseled out a couple more clues about Regina, and then, two days after his birthday, he ran away, leaving only a note for her not to worry, that he would be back soon. By the time Emma had woken up to see this note, it was five pm. She had slept in from a brutal night out hunting down some guy for arson and hadn't seen it until now. She has no idea how long he could be gone or where he's gone and her heart pounds in her chest.

She immediately calls the cops, putting out a search for her son. And then, she tugs on her coat and runs out. She looks up and down the neighborhood, figuring he can't have gone far. But she checks all his usual haunts- the play castle in the park, the library, the milkshake shop on the corner and the river bank where he likes to skip stones and contemplate life- but he's not there. She's beside her mind with panic. She rushes back into her house, trying to calm down. She slams down a shot of vodka to help with her nerves and tries to think rationally. The same way she would with hunting down a perp.

She goes to Henry's room, rifles through it. She notices his dufflebag is gone and so are some of his clothes. This strikes fear into her heart. Where the hell is he going that he needs a bag?

Sudden realization strikes her. Henry's gone to find Regina.

Why?

Emma curses and kicks the wall in anger, hurting her toe. She barely feels the pain, so upset at Henry she is. She should have never told him anything. Where did he even get the idea of racing off to find Regina? Was it because Emma looked sad? Was it because he wanted to met the woman himself?

Emma grit her teeth in worry. He must have taken money with him. He was too smart not to. Had he been planning this all in secret? How did she not notice? She cursed herself for being too tired to be on his back, but he did normally keep to himself and do the things he had so there was no reason to always be on top of his affairs.

She went to her wallet and found a couple of twenties missing. He hadn't taken her credit card which meant she couldn't track him through that. But, just to be on the safe side-

Before she can log into her account, her phone rings. It's an unknown number but it could lead to Henry. She picks up. "Hello?"

"Hi, ma, it's me, Henry."

Emma sags against the wall, breathing in relief. She hadn't known just how much she needed to hear his voice. He takes her lull in silence and continues talking. "I found her. I found mom. Come find us at this address." He rattles it off excitedly, like this is some grand adventure, and Emma closes her eyes, memorizes it. When she opens them, the relief in her veins has turned to anger.

"Henry, how could you do this? Do you know how dangerous-"

"I know Ma," he cuts off, solemn. "Regina already yelled at me for it too." In a lower and much more delighted tone of voice, he adds, "she's already acting like my mom."

Emma exhales, figuring she will save the lecture for later. "Stay there, Henry, and call me if anything. I'll be by as soon as I can." She clicks the phone off and then googles up the address.

It's in Storybrooke of all places and Emma's heart twists as she looks at the address. The place holds so many memories for her. Good and bad. She swallows thickly and decides it doesn't matter what was in her past. She needs to get her son back, because she doubts Regina will bring him back for her.

Regina...she thinks, longing running through her. A longing she had tried to bury deep where the sun could not mind it. Emma can't help but wonder, how is Regina. Where does she work? Is she happy? Did she grow taller? Did she have a family? And most of all, is her mother still there?

Emma's shoulders tense as she gets into the car, turning it out of the drive. The night is dark but it will only get darker until she gets to Regina's house. The whole ride over she can't help but think of what's going to happen. Of the thousand's of scenario's running through her head nothing can actually prepare her for the moment she does meet Regina.

Emma pulls her Bug up to a mansion. Emma snorts. Naturally, Regina lives in a mansion. This means Regina has money. What job did she choose? And how was college? Emma had never gone. Never actually had the chance to. It was just another one of the ways she let Regina down.

Her hands are clammy as she gets out, going to the door. Her chest is tight and her stomach clenches. What can she even say? What if Regina doesn't recognize her? It has been ten years, after all. Steeling her nerves, she rings the doorbell.

There's the sound of footsteps. She doesn't know whose and she tenses all the same. The door is flung open. Her eyes land on Henry first. Her boy, safe. But he doesn't run into her arms. He jerks his hand back and indicates to the woman trailing behind him.

"Ma, I found her. I found her!" he exclaims loudly. He joins her now, hanging onto her as she feels the world drop out from underneath her.

It's Regina. And she looks better than ever before. Her hair is still in that trademark bob. And she's wearing formal clothing. A shirt open three buttons low and black pressed slacks. She looks amazing and Emma's mouth goes dry. She doesn't know what to say. Shock is similarly written on Regina's face, the two of them just staring across the void of ten years. Emma wants to reach out to her, wants to cry. She wants so much and yet-

"Next time keep a closer eye on your kid. He might not be so lucky to come across someone charitable."

Regina's words cut right into Emma's heart, leaving her breathless.

"I-" Emma sputters, aghast at Regina's tone.

"Good night," Regina says coldly and slams the door shut.

It's too late to drive back home. And Emma's not in the mood for it. Her mind is a mess, her heart hurts and she just needs a nice bottle to soothe the hurt. Or maybe some sleep. Yes, she thinks, she'll sleep for a whole week just so she doesn't have to deal with this.

Henry sits pensive in the back seat. It seems the reunion didn't go at all as planned. Emma knows she should scold him for running away but she's not in the mood now. They pull up to Granny's diner. Emma knows she runs the motel close by. Emma hasn't been here in a long time and the diner has not changed one bit. When she steps in, the door bell jingles over head. The smell of fries and grease soaks the air. And a familiar figure is standing behind the counter.

It's Ruby. She's grown into a pretty omega. She's tall, and she wears her hair loose and curled, lips painted red. She makes the diner outfit look good. She's counting up some change as Emma strides up to her. She'd been hoping to avoid confronting another ghost of the past but she can't seem to avoid them anymore.

"Hey," she says, sheepish, Henry by her side.

Ruby looks up, pops her gum lazily, and then her eyes jerk wide awake.

Ruby looked like she was seeing a ghost because in a way she was.

She nearly chokes on her gum. "Emma Swan," she breathes out. "You're alive."

Emma gives a sheepish grin, tucks her hands into her back pockets as she rocks on her heels. She hopes this reunion goes a lot better.

"The one and only."

When no one says anything, Henry pipes up and stretches out his hand. "Hi, I'm Henry. I'm her son."

Ruby shakes his hand before sending a cutting glare through Emma. "You have so much to fucking explain."

Emma places hands over her kid's ears. "Language. He's still young."

And Ruby laughs.

It's three in the morning by the time Emma finishes telling Ruby everything over a bottle of tequila.

"Fuck, that's all so fucked up," Ruby grunts, shaking her head. The diner is closed by now and both of them should be in bed, but the recounting of the past keeps them awake. Henry's asleep in the room upstairs that Ruby gave them.

"I know," Emma sighs. "But I was young, and I didn't know any better. Couldn't even do anything."

"You should tell Regina."

Emma shakes her head no. "What does it matter. It's too late. She hates me."

"You hurt her badly when you left like that. She spent so much time looking for you. We both did."

"I didn't want to be found," Emma stresses, feeling guilty for hurting them both like that. It had eaten her up at moments, knowing she'd hurt them. Sometimes it was easier to pretend they didn't care for her. Because then she could sleep at night. "I didn't want the two of you to get in trouble."

"I still can't believe this happened to you. You were a good one, Swan. You could have been a soccer star. You and Regina could have been happy and married by now."

Emma shook her head. "It's no good dwelling on the past."

"Does Regina even know she has a kid?"

"Well, she didn't know until today. Henry found her."

Ruby sucks in a breath. "Shit, and how did that go?"

Emma swirls the remains of her drink. She can't taste it anymore, eyes heavy with drink. "Not well," she admits at last.

Ruby sucks on her teeth, leans back into the booth. "You want her to be involved in the kids life?"

"I was fine with her not knowing. But Henry wants to get to know her better. And if he wants that then I'll try to do my best to reconcile them."

"I can't imagine raising a kid by myself, all alone too."

"I wasn't alone-"

Ruby puts up a hand. "I know. But, without her, without your mate."

Emma swallows down a lump in her throat at this. "Do you really think she's my mate?"

"Emma, it sounds to me like you still care for her. And I definitely know she cares for you, even if she's going to act like she doesn't. Even if the two of you can't get back together, you should at least try to talk about whatever happened between the two of you and make sure you're on amicable terms. It's the least you can do. And her mother's not here," Ruby tacks on at the end. "So the batty bitch won't get in the way."

Emma relaxes at the information of that. She despised Regina's mother. She didn't think it was possible to hate a person this much, but she does. And probably forever will.

"Enough talk about me," Emma deflects. "What's up with you?"

Ruby shrugs, chugs down the rest of her drink. "Not much. I graduated school. Went to a community college just an hour outside of Storybrooke. Finished school, and then took over the diner from Granny because she wasn't doing so well."

"Is she okay?"

Ruby nods her head. "She's fine. Still chugging along. But she's not as spry as she used to be. Sometimes she comes in and still helps me out."

"Did you dream of running this diner?" Emma asks.

Ruby shrugs. "Not entirely. I wanted to be an actress, you know."

"I know," Emma sighs sadly, "Seems for none of us did our dreams work out."

"I'll drink to that," Ruby says, refilling their shot glasses.

The next day, as Emma's having lunch with Henry, who should drop by but Regina. She looks stunning, as always. But the conversation is unpleasant. Too much hurt lies between them and Emma doesn't know what to do. She's never been in a position like this before. She used to be good with emotions. Used to be open and happy. And then she'd lost everything, forced to be on the run. She'd bottled her feelings up so that she could forget about the love she'd left behind. Forget about the people who had cared for her. She tried to shield her emotions and she knows Regina is doing the same. But she doesn't blame the brunette. She doesn't at all.

Emma is the party in the wrong here and she needs to make amends, but how even can she? Will Regina even accept them?

The conversation is brisk and then over before Emma even knows it, Regina leaving in a cloud of perfume. Emma can't help but inhale it. It smells of lost memories, of moments they should have shared. Not for once does she wish things had been different. Then maybe Emma's life would have been better.

Henry notices Emma's dejected state and slides into the booth where Regina had sat before. He's got a cup of hot cocoa that Ruby has given him graciously. He's grown found of them quickly, much like Emma had when she was younger. But he'll have to grow out of the taste soon, because she wants to leave this place. She can't be this close to Regina because her past guilt's her. And, maybe she needs some time before amends can be made.

Emma knows she's being a coward, but hadn't she been one ever since she ran from all her problems all those years ago? Perhaps she's never stopped being one, only tricked herself into thinking she was brave with her dangerous job.

"I wanted to make you happy, Ma. You said you ran away because you were in danger, but the danger has to have gone away. So I figured I could bring Regina back to you and we could be a happy family," Henry said, looking down at the table.

"Henry," Emma sighs heavily. For all of Henry's maturity, he is still naively hopeful. "It's been years. A lot of things have changed between us. Things won't just go back to normal."

"Then we should make them go back to normal."

Emma shakes her head no. "Kid, she probably doesn't like me because I broke her heart by leaving-"

"Then fix it by staying," he interjects, brown eyes wide on her. "I want to get to know her. If she's my other mom, then surely she has to care about getting to know me too."

Emma thins her lips, not having the heart to tell him, that that's not always the case. Sometimes parents don't want their kids. Just like her parents didn't want her. Henry had been close to being given up for adoption too, but Emma had decided even though she was young that she would keep him, because she didn't want him to grow up unloved, and in a foster home.

"Let's go explore the town, kiddo," she ruffles his hair and they leave the diner for one more look of Emma's old home before they head back.