Falco stood shoulder to shoulder with Gabi, nervously waiting to board the airships. They had been in the Liberian army for a year now, deployed mostly to fighting in the Mid-East and off the coast of Hizuru. But this was the big push. It was the direct attack on Paradis.
Gabi had never looked so excited. She seemed to be a kid again, her eyes glowing with fevered light.
Falco looked away, feeling his heart beat a little too fast. He sighed. He'd still never found the time or the courage to tell her how he felt.
"I'm going to take down Erwin Smith himself," Gabi said. She lifted her chin as their line began to march, heading into the bowels of the airship. They'd stand there, waiting for the moment the doors opened and they launched themselves into the air, parachuting into the capital.
Their battalions were supposed to descend once Mikasa Ackerman had given the signal that the missile program had been stalled. There would be attacks on the coastal fronts, but the main bulk would go to Mitras.
"The king will probably be in his palace," Falco said. "We're going to be fighting the Guard."
"You'll see." That was Gabi all over. 'You'll see.' 'I'll do it.' He'd never met anyone as determined. It wearied him as much as it excited him.
Why couldn't she just want a happy life with him? Maybe because he couldn't excite her in the same way…
"What's wrong? You look sad," Gabi said. She frowned at him. Falco shouldered his rifle as they began to march.
"Just ready for the fight," Falco said, resigned.
Mikasa awoke to the sound of gentle snoring. She opened her eyes, finding Jean's face on the pillow beside hers. Sometime in the night they'd moved out of their positions, him spooning her, and now she was draped over his body, Jean's hand soft on her lower back. She froze, unsure what to do. Wake him? Kiss him? Neither?
Mikasa wasn't the type to enjoy making a fuss, and she blushed to remember the previous night. They'd had sex one more time, this time with her on top. That had felt even better. He'd said hushed, ecstatic words to her, and she'd spoken some back.
They'd been passionate. She was so embarrassed.
Gently, she slid out of the bed. Jean grumbled once, but slept on. Naked, Mikasa hurried for her clothes. She halted.
Sasha's clothes were gone. Mikasa's warrior uniform was cleaned and draped over the back of the chair. Someone had been in this room and seen them.
Mikasa winced as she pulled on her uniform. She should have anticipated the deep ache between her thighs. She'd have to find some pain medication before they left. It was funny to think how lovemaking had injured her more than battle thus far.
If that was the only time she ever had sex, it had been enjoyable. That was more than she'd hoped for. Mikasa cast a last glance back at Jean naked in the bed. He was a handsome man. He'd grown muscled, and his face had filled out, alleviating the bony horseishness of his adolescence. While she had no one to compare him to, she thought he'd introduced her to sex pretty damn well.
Eren…
There would always be sadness that her first time hadn't been with him. She couldn't imagine the ecstasy she would have felt.
But pleasure was good enough.
Mikasa went to wash up and prepare for the long journey ahead.
In the courtyard, people loaded artillery and other weapons onto the trucks. They were using camouflage to enter Mitras. Jean would be able to get his convoy through the gates, and then when they arrived at the Tower the attack would begin. They'd overthrow the missile system and signal to Marley.
Hopefully there wouldn't be too many casualties.
"Heyyyyy." Sasha approached Mikasa, wearing a sly expression. She smirked. "How was your night?"
Mikasa sighed. "You saw."
"I couldn't find you to give you the uniform. I took a guess and went to Jean's room." Sasha waggled her eyebrows. "Heh. You both looked cozy."
"Mmhmm." Mikasa was a private person, and turned her face away.
"Aw c'mon, Mikasa. I'm just teasin'."
"It was just the one time," she said. After all, her life wasn't here. Not anymore. Sasha sighed.
"Well. If that's what you want."
She left before Mikasa could argue. She went through the motions of preparing her troops, getting the warriors into formation, and while she did all that and oiled her ODM and prepped her blades and guns, Mikasa felt strange, hot tears at the corners of her eyes. Why? She'd wanted to sleep with Jean. Nothing had been dirty or bad about it.
Or maybe it was the sly look on Sasha's face. The anticipation that Mikasa would make a home and a family with Jean if this war ended well, that she'd put Eren in the past and—
It made her so angry she wanted to break something.
"Hey," Jean said behind her. Mikasa hid her face.
"Good morning." She didn't turn around. He was silent a moment.
"Can we talk?"
"Can it wait?"
He sighed. "I guess it'll have to."
She heard him trudge off. Mikasa felt a guilty pang.
"Wait." She went to him. "Sorry. Sasha kind of put me in a mood."
"It's fine." He guided her over to the side of the building, where there was some privacy. "So. Last night."
"Mmm." She didn't want to do this. She was angry now that he'd seen her naked, passionate, free. For the rest of their lives, he'd always have had her. He'd beaten Eren; she knew he had to have thought of that at some point during sex. He knew Mikasa had wanted Eren, but she'd given herself to Jean instead. There was no faerie tale ending. Her ideal of happiness hadn't come true. She didn't get the kind of story that Petra and Levi did, and some part of her resented that.
Jean looked away. "If I took advantage, I'm sorry."
"Huh? I'm the one who asked for it."
"But…" He shrugged helplessly. "Now it's weird between us. I'm sorry for that."
"It'll be all right again." She just needed time.
"Back to the way it was." He nodded once, a hard, accepting expression on his face. "Okay. I'm gonna get my team in order." He strode away.
"Jean." He stopped. Mikasa hated this. She was a loving person, but no good with navigating intricate emotions. She was nothing like Petra, who could feel everything and express all of it. "I enjoyed last night. I'm just…sad."
He gazed down at her. There was nothing upset about his demeanor. "Because I wasn't Eren."
He said it with no resentment or surprise. She stared at the ground and nodded. "The way I feel about him isn't going away."
"I know what you mean." Her cheeks burned.
"I don't…I don't know what I want." That was honesty. She gazed up at him, wanting him to put his arms around her and hating the thought at the same time. "I don't know if I want more of last night." She hesitated. "But maybe I do."
His eyebrows lifted. "Really?"
"Listen. Jean, I don't know what the future will hold if we win this war." Mikasa took his hand, felt its roughness. He stroked her palm with his thumb. His touch sent a small ripple of electricity through her. That was promising. "I don't know if I want to be with you like last night. I can't promise I do. But…" She bit her lip. "I want to be home again. Hizuru wasn't home. Neither was Marley. The Ackermans are family, but they're not home." She looked into his eyes. "You're my home. So is Sasha. And Connie. So is Paradis. I want to come back here."
He swallowed. "Okay. Whatever you want from me, you can have."
"Even if it's just friendship?"
"Mikasa." His eyes grew weary. "Last night proved that there's no one else. There's no Una. There's no Katya, or Rose, or…" He hesitated. Maybe he didn't want to list all his conquests. "There's you. It's always just been you. So long as you're here, that'll be enough for me."
He meant it. There was no entitlement in him. He left everything up to her to choose.
Immediately, she got on her toes and kissed him.
Jean muttered in surprise, then held her and kissed her in return. She shut her eyes, savored it. Thought. She was not the type to want to live her life alone. She wanted a family of her own. Eren and Armin were gone, but she could make one. This time, she'd protect it with all her strength.
Was Jean who she'd make that family with? Or was he already part of her family?
"Let's talk about this more when the fighting's done," she whispered.
"Absolutely."
They kissed one more time, then went their separate ways to prepare for battle.
Kuchel sat beneath a shady tree with her knees hugged to her chest. She watched her brothers playing in the field. Well, Armin was playing tag; Oruo seemed to be playing 'search and destroy.' She smiled weakly, but picked at a scab on her knee.
None of this felt right.
Mama shouldn't be kept in her room like a misbehaving child. Uncle Erwin was at war with her parents because of misunderstandings. Now that she was twelve and knew a little more, Kuchel knew her mother had slept with Uncle Erwin and made Armin. Kuchel understood when that would've happened and why, and she wasn't angry with either of them. Papa wasn't. At least, he wasn't angry with Mama.
Kuchel understood that Armin's birth had made everything go crazy. She remembered the soldiers taking Mama and the baby away. Uncle Erwin had done that. But now that the kids were all older, Kuchel hoped that tempers had cooled.
She knew that Uncle Erwin had done bad things. But still…
The adults thought Kuchel didn't remember much of the week they thought Papa had died, but Kuchel remembered. She still woke up crying all these years later, convinced it had happened. That she was three again, and her Papa was gone forever. She remembered how mad Mama had been, and how sad Grandma had been.
But Uncle Erwin had taken care of her. He'd hugged her and promised he'd always look after her. He loved her; Kuchel knew he did.
A man like that wasn't all bad. He just didn't know how to be calm. And neither did Papa. They were all too angry at each other, which was why Kuchel thought she could come here and make them all sit down and talk.
But now Mama wasn't allowed out? That wasn't right.
Kuchel began to have a sick feeling. Her eyes burned with tears. Aunt Hange had died because Kuchel came here. And now she worried it had been the wrong thing to do.
What if Kuchel had made everything much, much worse?
She pressed her face to her knees and forced herself not to cry. She had to be okay for Armin and Oruo.
"Uh, Kuchel?" Armin trotted over. His eyes were very wide. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She opened her arms and gave him a big hug. "I'm fine."
Armin happily snuggled with her. He was the cuddliest little bug. She'd only known him a few weeks before they met again when he was seven, but she'd missed him every single day. He was her dolly, after all. Oruo as a baby had cried and screamed and growled; Armin had just loved hugs and naps. Kuchel's eyes watered a bit when she thought of all the things she'd missed. Armin's first words and steps, his first midwinter.
Because Uncle Erwin wouldn't let Mama come see him.
Kuchel had spent a lot of time explaining to herself that Uncle Erwin had just tried to do what was right. But it was getting harder to believe.
"I wanna see Mama," Armin said.
"Me too."
"Oi." Oruo came over to them. He was scowling. "What's wrong?"
"We just want to see Mama." Kuchel looked away, and found Uncle Erwin coming over to them. Her stomach felt queasy. That hadn't happened before.
"Papa!" Armin ran over, and Uncle Erwin picked him up. "Can we see Mama? Please?"
"Of course. In about fifteen minutes. Does that sound good?"
Why can't we just go now? Why fifteen minutes?
Kuchel noticed Oruo staring at her. He was paying close attention. "What?" she snapped.
"You look weird."
"Thanks, jerkface." Her cheeks flushed. Oruo stomped with indignation.
"Not like that, yah dumbass!" He snorted and walked off to kick at the grass. Armin went over to probably give him a hug while Kuchel sat there and gazed at the earth. A shadow fell over her.
"Sweetheart. Is something wrong?" Uncle Erwin asked.
"Um. No." She hugged her knees tight. The king sat down next to her, grunting a little.
"My bones are old. Not like yours." He looked at her closely. "You can say anything. I won't be mad."
"Uh." She felt herself ready to start crying again. "I don't think it's okay for you to punish Mama. I want to know when Papa's getting here."
"Soon."
Kuchel glared at him. "That just means 'whenever you want', doesn't it?"
"Kuchel." He sighed and tried to stroke her hair. She moved away, and saw it hurt him. "You're one of the most important people to me. One of those who count the most."
"If you love me so much, why'd you keep me from seeing Armin?"
"It was complicated. Your parents and I—"
"I know you and Mama had sex," she said bluntly. He looked stunned. She rolled her eyes. "I'm old enough to know about sex, Uncle Erwin."
"Yes. Of course."
"So. Is that why Mama and Papa hated you?"
"Yes." Then he looked down and frowned. He frowned deeply. "Well. No."
"Huh?" Kuchel paid close attention. It felt for the first time in a long time that her uncle wasn't trying to pretend to be someone else in front of her.
"Your Papa and Mama wanted to be friendly again after Armin was born. We were discussing how he would split time between your mother and me. They were open to spending holidays at the palace, and having me at your farm whenever I wished. They wanted to share all responsiblities with me."
Kuchel felt dumbfounded. She'd known that Uncle Erwin stole Mama and Armin, but had always assumed it'd been because her parents weren't friends with her uncle anymore. That he'd gotten mad about it and taken them so he could see his son.
"Then why'd you take them?" she murmured.
"Kuchel." He rubbed his face. "There's so much you can't understand when you're a child. It's not because you aren't smart enough. You certainly are. It's because…" He shook his head. "There comes a certain point when you're an adult where you realize you don't have as many choices as you once did. You come to see that your chances for certain things are dwindling. When you're twelve, everything is before you. But when you're an adult, you can lose things and have no way of replacing them. It can make you depressed. I was very alone after your parents took you to that farm. I was unhappy. When Armin was born, he made me happy. Happier than anything ever had." He tried to stroke her cheek, but she pulled away. He looked even sadder. "But your parents didn't want to move to Mitras. That meant they'd have more time with Armin than I would."
"But you still would've had time."
He sighed. "This is the part where you're simply too young to understand. No, you're too young to feel what I'm saying. One day, you'll feel it."
This all sounded very confusing, but Kuchel was still processing the idea that her parents had wanted to be friends with Uncle Erwin again. She knew that Uncle Erwin had done the wrong thing when he took Mama, but it was a wrong thing she could understand. If her parents took Armin away, Uncle Erwin wanted him back.
But now it all got a lot less clear. She couldn't understand adults.
She didn't want to. They seemed so confused and unhappy.
"How's this war going to stop?" She sniffed. "Why can't you all just talk to each other?"
"When your Papa gets here, we can talk."
"When? When does he get here?" She knew she was whining now, and she hated it because she sounded like a baby. But she wished Papa were here. She didn't feel safe without him, even though she was one of the most dangerous people in the palace. Just because she was an Ackerman.
"Soon." Uncle Erwin stood. Kuchel knew that it was the End of the Talk. "Now come. Let's see your mother."
Kuchel and the boys followed Uncle Erwin to Petra's room. Kuchel held her breath for some reason when Uncle Erwin knocked.
"Come in." That was Mama's voice. Kuchel let out a big, relieved sigh. They opened the door and Armin and Oruo raced inside.
"Mama! Mama!" They sounded so excited. Oruo even lightly shoved Armin to get to Petra first, but their mother gathered the two boys close. Petra saw that Mama looked fine. She was wearing a pretty silk dress and make up. She didn't look hurt or anything.
Her stomach began to unclench. Maybe it would be okay.
"Oruo. Let me look at you." Mama cradled her brother's face. She picked him up onto her lap and hugged him hard. "My good little boy."
Oruo beamed. Armin stood patiently waiting his turn, but Kuchel saw that he was sad.
Then Mama put Oruo down and cuddled Armin. He giggled as she lifted him onto her lap with an 'oof.'
"Oh, you are going to be a big, strong man. Like your Papa." She petted his hair. Armin snuggled up in her arms.
Oruo looked dead inside. Kuchel sighed. He wasn't used to sharing Mama with another little boy. This would take some time.
"Mama?" Armin whispered.
"Yeah, baby?" She kissed his cheek.
"You're my favorite person in the whole world." He giggled with delight as she rubbed noses with him.
Kuchel heard a weird noise, like someone was hurt. Uncle Erwin was standing in the doorway, but the noise hadn't come from him.
Aunt Brigitta was there, beside Kuchel. She must have come in a minute ago. Kuchel frowned; her aunt looked like she was going to cry. Kuchel wrapped her arms around Aunt Brigitta. Her aunt flinched, then hugged and kissed Kuchel back.
But her aunt still trembled.
"Well, you're my little angel. When the midwife delivered you, she said that. You looked just like a beautiful angel."
"What about me?" Oruo climbed up the back of the chair and thrust his face between Armin and Mama's. Mama kissed his cheek.
"You are just like your Papa. You're perfect."
Oruo looked insanely proud.
"Perhaps we should let your mother rest some more, boys. You can see her after dinner."
Aunt Brigitta stiffened. Kuchel got that sick feeling in her stomach again. Why did Mama need to rest? Why couldn't she just come with them?
Why did she look kind of strange? She clutched Oruo hard, rocked him and kissed him. Uncle Erwin looked upset about that.
"Petra."
"Come on, Siegfried." Aunt Brigitta took Armin's hand. He let her lead him out the door. "Why don't we play a game? A favorite game?"
"Um, okay," Armin said. Mama let Oruo go, then opened her arms.
"Kuchel, come here. I need a big hug from my big girl."
Kuchel was a little old for this, but she dutifully hugged her mother. Mama smelled like faded roses and…
There was a musty scent as well. Like she'd spent time underground, with dampness and no sun.
"You'll always be my baby," Petra whispered. She hugged Kuchel tight. "No matter how grown up you get, you're always my baby. I remember the minute I held you in my arms the first time. It was the best moment of my life."
Kuchel had to fight not to cry. "Mama, I'm sorry," she whispered. Mama kissed her cheek.
"It's all right, baby. Everything will be fine."
Then Mama kissed her cheek hard, and whispered two words right into Kuchel's ear.
"Protect Oruo."
Then Mama let go and waved Kuchel out of the room, smiling as Uncle Erwin shut the door. The boys seemed more or less fine with the visit.
Kuchel felt like the walls were falling down around her. What did Mama mean? Why Oruo? Why not Armin as well?
"Kuchel?" Uncle Erwin patted her head. "Are you ready to go back outside, sweetheart? Why don't you go with Auntie Brigitta? I'll catch up soon."
Kuchel gave a small smile, the best she could do. "Okay, Uncle Erwin."
She walked back outside with her aunt and brothers, but for the rest of the afternoon Kuchel never took her eyes off of Oruo.
Petra sat calmly as Erwin shut the door to her room.
"You did well," he said. She didn't get up or face him. She wouldn't do him that courtesy.
"You're still going to take me back below, aren't you?"
"Yes. Until, one way or another, this Historia situation resolves itself."
Oruo. Anger throbbed behind her eyes, but she remained utterly still.
"I suppose I should thank you for letting the kids see me here, like nothing was wrong." She smirked. "But you need to keep them quiet, don't you?"
Kuchel had to have understood. Please let her daughter have understood. But Kuchel worshipped Erwin so much, Petra feared it wouldn't be enough.
"I could very well turn Oruo back to human form with the power of the Founder."
"I won't let you take the opportunity to find out," she growled, clutching her skirt as he approached. Petra kept the king in her peripheral vision. She remembered being nineteen and in awe of this man. Any person who held Captain Levi's respect and admiration had to be close to a god. And she recalled seeing the two men side by side on top of a crumbling castle wall, gazing out at the sunset. The amusing height difference between them, but also the unspoken sense of closeness. Sometimes Petra would look at the two of them and almost feel jealousy.
She had never felt a moment's jealousy with Levi and any other woman. But Erwin Smith had threatened her somehow. In her naïve, schoolgirl way, she hadn't understood then.
But she knew better now. She had given Levi his children. He had chosen their family. And yet she knew that, when he came for her, the blow he struck to kill Erwin would kill some part inside of him.
"What are you thinking now?" he murmured. He was very close.
"That Levi's going to kill you."
"There's more." It wasn't a question. Fuck, how was he this perceptive?
Petra looked levelly into Erwin's face when he crouched before her. She made herself a statue. Untouchable.
"I've never understood what was between you," she whispered. Her mouth twisted into a bitter smile. "I mean, I think I understand you better now. After what Brigitta told me."
He did not look away or frown. He seemed, in some sense, relieved.
"And what do you think about that?"
"I think if you'd been honest about wanting to fuck him, we wouldn't be here right now."
Erwin shook his head.
"I told you before that it isn't about that. Didn't I? Yet a pedestrian mind can only ever reduce these ineluctable things to the simple exchange of bodies. Fluids. Is that what you think has driven me all these years? Hmm? Wanting him in my bed?"
"You can't tell me that's not part of it." She pulled away.
"And if that were the case, can you be so certain it's entirely one-sided?"
"Levi isn't…"
"He likes you, Petra. Does he hunger for women in general? Is he a man who casts lustful gazes across crowded rooms? Do you ever fear that he will stray from your side into the arms of another woman?"
No. The answer was a simple no.
"Levi loves you, not women. He has always been a man of particular tastes. He's picky. He loves you because you are what he loves. As am I."
"But…not like that."
"Why not? Can you assure me the thought's never crossed his mind?" Erwin cocked an eyebrow. "Growing up in the underground with a man like Kenny Ackerman, Levi likely had neither the time nor inclination to examine himself in such a way. Perhaps he doesn't even know his own truest nature."
"You're trying to manipulate me." She set her jaw. "This is what you do. You're trying to throw me off balance."
"I don't need to try." He stood slowly, looming over her. Petra stayed perfectly still, refusing to yield an inch. "Because you've already entertained these thoughts."
She'd been nineteen, watching the two of them on top of that wall. There had been closeness there, even without movement or touch. She had felt so isolated. Cut out from their world.
She still felt that alienation to this day.
"You don't understand." She sniffed. "I wouldn't give a shit if Levi liked both women and men. If he liked neither. No matter what he wanted, he chose me. He wants to sleep with me, not with you."
"And I don't care if he ever sleeps with me or not. Perhaps in a way it's something I want from him, but it's not what I need from him. Nor is it what he truly needs from me." Erwin narrowed his eyes. "Which begs the question, why are you still jealous?"
"I'm…" But she couldn't give voice to the lie. Over and over she had worshipped Erwin, trusted Erwin, feared Erwin, and envied Erwin. She had never loved Erwin, but there had been a few brief, horrible moments when she'd wanted him. And even on the night when they were in bed together, she'd pictured Levi on top of her, or alongside them. She'd imagined Levi enmeshed in their passion, living in the space between their bodies.
She'd fucked Erwin to summon Levi…because she knew Levi would come wherever Erwin called. In a way he would not come even for Petra.
God, her head hurt. She wanted to go to sleep.
"Because," she said. The words stuck in her throat, but it was like ridding her body of poison. She had to get the words out; she had to free herself. "Because I know that your death would haunt him more than mine. Even now, after two children and years together, I can't get rid of you."
Erwin sighed gently.
"At last," he whispered. "You know exactly how I feel."
The original plan hadn't worked, so the plane dropped Levi several miles away from Mitras's borders. He landed in an orchard and quickly removed his parachute. The late afternoon was slanting towards evening, and Levi watched the skies. At some point the airships would arrive. If Mikasa did her job properly.
Right now, Levi needed to make it to the capital and find Erwin. He was going to do what he did best: focus on a single task.
Levi. Thank you.
He pictured Erwin sitting on that box in Shiganshina, smiling at him with tears in his eyes. Even as Levi's heart had been breaking to say goodbye, he had been filled with pride. Joy, even. He had given this person he loved so deeply a gift.
And then he'd taken it away for his own selfish purposes.
Erwin. It's your fault, and it's mine. He made his way through the orchard as the sun was going down. He kept Petra and the kids at the back of his mind, tucked away like a treasure. But Erwin Smith dominated his thoughts as Levi moved forward. I made you a promise that day. Give up on your dreams and die, and I'll kill the Beast Titan.
I fulfilled only half of that vow. I'm sorry. He clenched the hilt of his blade. Just a little longer.
"You may as well talk. This can't be an easy thing to bear," Erwin said as he stood before Connie. The young man had those iron rods thrust into the stumps of his legs. Blood kept flowing, as he was unable to fully heal. Connie's whole face and naked chest were soaked in sweat.
"What makes you think…I know where she is?" Connie gritted his teeth.
"Either way, it doesn't matter." Erwin remained pleasant and calm. "I've had an idea. If Historia isn't with us by the evening, I'll eat you, titanize Oruo Ackerman, access the Founder, and if it's impossible to revert the boy back to his original form I'll feed your mother to him."
Connie's eyes widened. Erwin saw the whites entire.
"No. Don't," he croaked.
"Well, I have no desire to kill the boy. Especially not if I'll need access to royal blood again. And your mother, kind woman though she is, simply is not of much use to the military. This is a war."
Connie turned his face away. He winced; the pain had to be killing him. Erwin knew that a shifter felt the pain, all of it. And never the mercy of death at the end.
"Why haven't you eaten me yet?" Connie hissed.
"Because I might still have use for you in this form."
Connie screwed up his face and glared at the king. Connie had always been simple, but there was a rudimentary wisdom in that simplicity. It was low, animal cunning, the way Sasha had. They could sense what more sophisticated minds could not.
Erwin saw some shards of wisdom in those eyes.
"You don't want to do it," Connie muttered.
"Do what?" Erwin was terse.
"Kill me. Hurt the kid. Rule the world. I don't know you the way the captain or lieutenant do, or Eren did."
"Aren't you Eren?" Erwin wondered if he could see the young man's iron will in Connie now.
"I haven't seen too many memories of you. But I know they're there. Point is you don't really want this." The man's face slackened a bit, and in that instant Erwin believed he really could see Eren Jaeger. That Eren Jaeger spoke the next words: "But you don't know how to let go of your obsession. You've never been able to let go. That's why you need Captain Levi to make the choice."
Erwin hurtled back across the years to that crate in Shiganshina with Levi kneeling at his feet. Ironic, the rightful king bending the knee. Yet Levi was not and never would be a king, nor landed gentry. No, he was a knight. A hero of old, terrible and beautiful in his single-mindedness. His refusal to bend his principles.
Yes. Erwin needed Levi to make the choice…
"Enough." Erwin sneered. "An hour before sundown. You live until then. Prepare yourself."
"See you, king." That rueful, sulky glance was Connie now. Eren Jaeger had vanished as soon as he'd appeared.
Erwin was in a foul mood as he strode back to the palace. He was supposed to spend time with the children, but he didn't want to bring dourness to their play. To collect himself, he called for his car and set out for the Tower.
Behind these impenetrable walls, his scientists were readying the hyperfusion assault. Erwin entered the large chamber, watched the Hizuran engineers and scientists as they calibrated the controls, Paradisian Guards standing watcg all around them.
"I didn't think to see you again." Kanada Azumabito had his coat off and his sleeves rolled. Nearing fifty now, wasn't he? They had met when the man was young. Time wore everything down. "Come to gloat over your triumph?"
Erwin could not kill Kanada for two reasons: as an Azumabito he commanded the engineers' loyalty, and he spoke fluent Hizuran. He was a much-needed translator for the hyperfusion team. But no one was so useful as to be invincible.
"Run me through the program again." Erwin ignored the jab. For now.
"Takeoff is set for Valle, Lundun, and Medre at 23:00 hours. Impact should be within five minutes of launch."
"And the ships are in position?" he asked.
Kanada sighed. "Yes. If required, all of them."
"Excellent."
The tragedy and comedy of it all was that Levi probably believed the hyperfusion arsenal was here, on Paradis. In reality, Erwin's battlecruisers had sailed off to different points around the globe over a week ago. To the untrained eye, they appeared to be normal ships of war. But they carried enough hyperfusion to decimate the planet in mere moments.
Paradis was the only safe place to be any longer. Provided Marley et al did not fire first.
Erwin didn't think Willy Tybur was ready to take that chance. Besides, even if he did, Paradis's destruction would signal the ships. They would deploy their cargo.
Not all of it. No, not even at Paradis's destruction. Erwin did not want a barren world of ashes as his legacy. But enough to make them feel the impact of what they'd done.
Willy likely knew that Erwin would not be so easy to defeat. He would not make a move like that.
So long as they remained in control of this chamber, they controlled the fate of the world.
Three cities, and tomorrow they will sue for peace. It will be over.
Erwin also held hope that it would not even come to the bombs.
Once he had the Founder, he could try to make the world bend without further violence. What if he could summon titans from every corner of the globe, control them perfectly so that they did not rampage…but only if the enemy sued for peace at once.
Erwin would not let his titans harm anyone if Willy and the others surrendered. Erwin would have the power of a god, then come here and tell them to shut off the countdown. No one else needed to die.
The hyperfusion was the last ditch effort. Erwin really shouldn't be wasting his time with Connie; he should just eat the young man. Unless Connie had been right that…
Connie was wrong.
"It may not come to all this, Kanada," Erwin said. "Hope and believe in a miracle, and it may yet come to pass."
"I have seen much that defies all natural law," Kanada replied. "But I do not believe anything miraculous can come from this island, or from you."
"The unbeliever is always thus," Erwin whispered. He laid a hand on Kanada's shoulder; the man flinched in evident disgust. "You are blind now. But soon you shall see."
Erwin left with everything in preparation and returned to the palace. When he found the children, they were outside on the south lawn. Kuchel was helping Siegfried turn cartwheels. Erwin smiled, the first touch of warmth he had felt all day. The children loved each other so much.
Kuchel's Ackerman instincts might very well cause her to cling to Siegfried. To defend him with her life, as her father had done for Erwin. That would be wonderful.
"How are these wild animals getting on?" Erwin asked, laughing as Siegfried took a tumble at the sound of his father's voice.
"Papa!" He flung himself into Erwin's arms. Erwin hugged his son close, and noticed Brigitta seated nearby. She had a book open but was reading the interaction between father and son. Erwin turned away from her.
"Um. I'm gonna show Oruo how to do a somersault," Kuchel said, then hurried away. Erwin sighed as he watched the child flee across the lawn. She was still unsettled by all this, and that was only natural. Tonight would be hard on her, but tomorrow she would see that everything Erwin did was in some part done for her. Her world would be truly at peace. She'd be a princess, given a kingdom to rule when she was grown up. Siegfried could not run the entire world, after all.
"Papa, can I talk to you?"
"Certainly." Erwin walked towards a nearby fountain, a hand on Siegfried's back. "What is it?"
"Is Mama still in trouble?" The boy looked at Erwin with Petra's soft amber eyes, and Erwin found real uncertainty in them.
"Of course not." He hugged the boy to his side. "She just needs to think a few things through."
"Will Uncle Levi really come here to live with us?" Truly, the child was too perceptive. In that way, he reminded Erwin of himself at that age.
"I'd like that."
"But it may not happen?"
"Not if Uncle Levi refuses to accept that I am king." Erwin ruffled Siegfried's hair. "But don't worry. Sooner or later, he will."
"Is something bad going to happen tonight?"
Siegfried stopped walking. Now his words were not curious. They were accusatory. It took Erwin aback.
"Who told you that would happen?"
"Um." Siegfried scuffed his shoe in the dirt. "I don't remember."
"Siegfried Smith…" The boy flinched at his father's tone. Erwin would never scream at or hit the child, but he knew he had to maintain respect in the boy's eyes. "Did Mama tell you that?"
"No!" Siegfried was shocked at that. Erwin believed him. "Uh…will you be mad?"
"No." Perhaps.
"Auntie Brigitta said that you were going to do a lot of things tonight. Uh. That some of it would be real dangerous. That's all. Papa, are you gonna hurt people?"
After seeing the child with his mother, Erwin had realized something. Siegfried looked weightless and joyous in Petra's arms. His smile became brilliant, his laughter effortless. Erwin had never once seen Siegfried like that with him. Sometimes it was close, but never the same. The realization struck that Erwin's son…feared him. Even the way he looked at Erwin now was edged in wariness.
"I…" God, it hurt. Somehow it was a deep wound, deeper than if Siegfried had hated him. Why did his son fear him? Erwin had done everything he could for this little boy. Had it not been enough? Why not?
Even my son. I lost even him.
Erwin bottled his emotions, afraid he would lash out and confirm all Siegfried's worst expectations. He shut himself off from his son.
"I'm going to protect our home and family and friends. That's all. All right?" he asked.
"Okay."
Oh, Erwin and "Auntie Brigitta" would have words soon. Erwin clenched his jaw.
More than ever, he wished Marie were here at his side. She would have a sophisticate's understanding of the situation. She could have helped him.
But I killed her. I kill everyone I love, sooner or later.
Erwin realized then that it was better for Siegfried to be with his mother. Petra nurtured life; Erwin broke it.
He knelt before his son and hugged the child close. A lump formed in Erwin's throat.
"I love you, Siegfried. Always know that."
Siegfried mumbled something.
"What?" Erwin said. His son wore a strange expression: a frown.
"I said I want to be called Armin. I keep asking you and Auntie."
"Your name is Siegfried." Erwin was not going to deal with this horseshit. But his son pulled away. Never before had Siegfried appeared angry. It was shocking.
"That's what Mama named me."
"Your mother didn't have the right."
"Yes she did." Armin's chin quivered. "Kuchel says I lived with her and Mama and Uncle Levi up on a farm when I was born. Then you took me away!"
Fuck. He'd known this would come up sooner or later.
"Because they wanted to keep you away from me."
"Uh uh." His son's cheeks reddened with fury. "Kuchel told me you said they wanted to split time. They wanted to share me. Why didn't you let them?" Unhappy tears welled in the boy's eyes.
"Because…" But there was nothing he could say.
"I didn't get to see my Mama for so long, and I could have! You wouldn't let me! Why not?" Siegfried was shouting now. Erwin stood, looming over the boy, but Siegfried did not crumble. Perhaps there was some strength there after all.
"You do not speak to your father that way. If you do, you'll be separated from Kuchel and Oruo and you won't see your mother tonight." Siegfried paled at that suggestion. All his anger went away. He was on the verge of tears. "Now. Apologize, and it will all be forgiven."
Siegfried screwed up his mouth, and Erwin wondered for a minute if he would fight. But the child wasn't like his younger brother.
"Sorry, Papa." He stared at the ground.
"It's all right." Erwin ruffled his hair. "Why don't you go play with Kuchel?"
"Okay." Siegfried hugged Erwin, but it was out of duty. He was a boy who didn't want to upset the world's order. But that didn't mean he liked it.
Erwin watched his son walk away. His heart hurt.
Levi is a better father than I am. He'll be a better father to Arm…" His eyes widened. "To Siegfried than I could ever be."
But Erwin was self aware enough to recognize what had just happened.
Even after all these years, he knew who his son truly was. And who he was not.
And that was the worst part of all.
Willy entered his Valle office feeling exhausted. So he was surprised when he found Giulia seated upon his couch, looking entirely sober and properly dressed.
"Oh. What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I sent the children to the interior, along with your mother." She regarded him coolly. "I don't think any large city is safe right now."
"Wise." He loosened his tie and removed his coat. Willy went to the drink cart he kept, the one he used with increasing frequency. "Can I make you something?"
"I'm tryin' to cut back." She had one leg crossed over the other, and bounced her foot idly. Her high-heeled shoe dangled from her toes. Willy sat behind his desk with a whiskey.
"I'm glad."
"It's not for you. This isn't the best time to be sloshed, is it? With all the air raid sirens, the tanks, the battle cruisers." Giulia looked at him with real curiosity. "Tell me. How bad is it?"
He slumped in his seat. Right now, he was debating whether to fire on Paradis. What stopped him was the certainty that Erwin Smith had a terrible plan to counterattack. That, and the fear of losing Levi and Petra. They unified the Eldians in a way Willy could not. Their family and love was real. People responded to that.
He looked again at Giulia. Once again, Willy remembered the night he saw her. She'd been all of twenty-two, dressed in a gown of white silk with a flower in her hair. She'd hung on the arm of some swarthy nothing of a young man.
Willy had been spellbound by her.
He had danced with the young bride-to-be. Willy entirely forgot her sister, Serena, his intended. The girl, Giulia, had been so lively. So clever. So quick. Charming, funny, beautiful, everything he had ever wanted. His father had told Willy he would marry Serena in order to gain an alliance with her family, and Willy had accepted.
But now here was a woman he craved. A woman who would maintain the alliance his father sought.
Willy had walked home that night as if drunk and in a dream. His blood seemed to fizz in his veins. She was all he could think of. It was impossible to love this deeply and have it not be fate. Willy was, in every way that mattered, a prince. He was handsome, rich, deeply clever, and he flattered himself he was a good lover. Giulia could have a faerie tale, or she could marry a man who worked in a shoe shop. Willy was not just giving himself what he wanted. He was saving that girl from a lifetime of unhappiness.
He told his father of his decision. The girl's family had been hesitant to break her engagement, and apparently Serena had been devastated at such a clear rejection. Willy had formally apologized to her. It wasn't as if she'd loved him, though. Nor did Giulia, but he would make her love him.
With status, wealth, looks, charm, and sensual experience, he had every tool required to make her love him as he loved her.
The only moment he hesitated was when he received her letter begging him not to make her do this. Willy had sat up most of the night considering. No man ever wants to force a woman, but he also knew that she was too young to understand. He'd been twenty-seven at the time, convinced of his own age and experience.
He would make her unhappy now and give her ecstasy later.
He remembered their wedding night. Giulia in those days had been witty and vivacious but also dutiful. She trembled but didn't deny him when he took off her clothes. She didn't look too frightened when he removed his own robe. She and that boy Michel hadn't taken the final step together, which made Willy perhaps uncomfortably happy.
He'd taken his time, made her climax over and over until he finally entered her. They discovered that night that they were very sexually compatible. In fact for several years, until their fourth child was born and Giulia made plain she wouldn't give him any more 'Eldian beasts', their lovemaking was sensational. Willy had been assured he'd made the right choice. When people had good sex, love was certain to follow.
Even when she hated him—especially when she hated him—they fucked like wild animals.
Over the two weeks of their honeymoon, he'd lavished presents on her. Every morning at breakfast he presented her with a new piece of jewelry. She had as many gowns as she wanted. He bought horses and carriages, shining automobiles, anything and everything she set her eyes upon and liked. He wanted to win her heart, and believed that this was the way. This, affection, and good sex would make her love him in return. And for a while, he thought it was working. For the first two years of their marriage, Giulia was always a bit unsure around him, but willing to please.
Then they returned to her hometown, and she went out to see that Michel fellow. When she came home, she wailed in absolute dismay and wouldn't look at Willy for two full days.
That was when he learned she'd been biding her time, waiting to find her true love again and run away with him. And Giulia had learned that her Michel hadn't been as true in his heart as she'd been.
She had never once even thought of loving Willy.
In fact, he learned then just how much she hated him.
That was the first time they had sex when they both were furious. They discovered it was pleasant, but she kicked him out of the room as soon as they were done.
After that, Willy learned to tolerate being in a marriage with a woman who openly despised him. Sex was the only intimacy they shared. And during her third pregnancy, she started taking lovers. As many as she could get. Giulia taught him to fear and loathe the sight of her.
She said it made them even.
Willy had hated her then, because how could she take and take from him and feel nothing? She was simply an idiot. A bitch. Cruel.
And then one night, after a ball when he'd been putting her to bed in her room, she'd wept and called for Michel.
She'd thrown herself facedown onto the bed and sobbed, begging for Michel to come to her.
And Willy had understood that Giulia did indeed know how to love. She just couldn't love him. She could never love him.
He'd thought that when you burned with love, as he had long ago, the other would reciprocate eventually. He'd been a fool.
And from then on, they'd each been a stone around the other's neck, making each other miserable with the knowledge that their lives were such an utter waste.
"Willy?"
"Hmm?" He blinked. Giulia looked at him, concerned.
"I said how bad is it?"
He set his glass on the desk and shut his eyes.
"Maybe you should join the kids in the interior," he said.
She didn't respond right away. He heard her get up, and then heard her at the drink cart. He opened his eyes and saw her fill a glass with seltzer water. She sipped daintily.
"I think I'm tired of running away." It sounded like she meant it.
"Well. I have a meeting with my generals in a few hours, but I'll be here until then." He looked at the ground, almost shy. Like this was their first encounter, not their millionth. "I was going to order out for lunch. Just the sandwich place around the corner. Would you like to join me?"
Giulia sat back down and drank her seltzer.
"All right," she said.
And that was all they said for a while.
Jean rattled down the road to Mitras, his knees pressed against Mikasa's. She sat opposite him, either lost in thought or speaking with Sasha. There was contentment on Mikasa's face when she was here, he realized. She needed to be home with them all.
With him.
Until last night, he hadn't known that you could experience ecstasy. He'd convinced himself that sleeping with Mikasa would be like sleeping with any other woman. But he'd been delightfully wrong.
Tasting her and touching her had felt like taking a drug. A good drug, one that gave a high but no crash. He'd liked holding her afterwards almost as much. When he'd curled around her to go to sleep, he'd drowsed for a while enjoying the warmth of her body in his arms. He knew he should rest, but this might be the only time he ever got to hold Mikasa Ackerman. He needed to make it last.
He was deeply in love with her. He had been for years. She was the one for him.
And he wasn't the one for her.
Even now, her love was still with Eren. She'd never kissed the boy or touched him, but the memory of him still held her captive.
If they survived this and if she chose to be with Jean, he would hold her the rest of his life while knowing that she would always love someone else more. Even if she came to love Jean, it would never be like Eren.
Could he stand that? Was that living a lie? Or if they both knew it and both accepted it, could it work? After all, Eren wasn't coming back. And if Jean devoted himself to her body and soul, if he gave her children, she might eventually realize Eren had been a childish infatuation. Maybe she'd come to realize that Jean had her real, deep love.
And maybe that would never happen.
But he needed her. Una was gone now, as was any other woman. Jean was an honest guy, in his own way, and he knew what he'd felt.
His entire world had shaken as he made love to her.
It was only and would only ever be Mikasa. If she wanted just his friendship, he'd live and die without taking a wife. Marrying anyone else would be torturous pretending. Sleeping with anyone else would just be a pleasant diversion.
Well, if I get my brains blown out tonight it won't matter either way.
"Jean?" Mikasa stared at him. Maybe she'd said his name a few times.
"Mmm?"
"We're approaching Mitras. You'd better get up front."
Ah, yeah. Jean was the head of this particular regiment. The plan was simple. Pull up to the Tower, request entry. Say the regiment had come to help defend Mitras against assault. They'd be let in, deploy, and then take over the place.
So easy, maybe no one would die. He'd like that.
Jean stared at Mikasa. He stared at that scar across her cheek. Eren had scarred her long ago, and still she'd loved him. Jean would only ever give her kindness. He had to hope that'd be enough.
"What?" Mikasa asked.
"Er. Nothing."
I love you. He'd said the words last night, several times. And when she'd been on top of him, riding his brains out, he'd said them and in reply she'd whispered oh god, Jean, oh I love you. Oh.
She hadn't said them since. He'd die to hear those words again.
Well. He shouldn't be thinking about this just before it was time to go.
"Remember. The Tower's hard to breach. Once we're in control, we sit tight and wait for backup. The point is to keep those bombs from going off. It's defense, not offense. Everyone clear?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Get ready."
He climbed over into the front, taking the passenger's seat. Twyla, the driver, nodded at him. He sat back as they came to the first checkpoint into Mitras. Getting through was easy.
He was Jean Kirschtein, for fuck sake. Number two in the running to be regent if Erwin died, until Siegfried grew up. Everyone trusted him. He'd never once gone against the king.
His stomach clenched as they rumbled down the streets of Mitras. There was a curfew in place, so only military vehicles were out and about.
Marco. What would you think of all this?
Marco had believed in serving the king. In knights and heroes and all that shit. Jean wasn't any of those things. He was practical. Afraid.
Human.
Mikasa, like Levi, was superhuman. Jean would always only be a mortal before a goddess.
But he didn't mind. He flashed on the picture he'd carried in his mind for years now. Him, growing older, relaxing on the balcony of a swank apartment while Mikasa played with their children inside. He'd spoil her, see to it she never had to work if she didn't want to. He'd give her all the ease and comfort that had long been denied her.
If they won, Levi would be king and he would give Jean a substantial reward. Money. Houses.
Mikasa. That is, if she wanted it. Levi wouldn't deny his cousin a marriage.
That thought only made Jean focus more. Levi had to be king, both for the world's sake and for Jean's. If Erwin won, Mikasa would be killed. If Levi won, she'd live. There was only one option.
Jean made the decision not for the world, but for himself. He was not like Eren or Mikasa. He didn't need to be.
He just needed to live.
"Get ready," Twyla said. They pulled up to the iron gates of the Tower. A soldier approached them. Jean rolled down his window.
"Hey. We weren't expecting you." The man seemed wary, which was right. Though he did relax at the sight of Jean. This man trusted him.
Jean would kill him if he had to.
"Last minute change. My regiment and I are back up. Extra protection, just in case."
The soldier nodded. "If Levi shows. Yeah." He said Levi's name like the man was a ghost. A demon. Eh, maybe that was right. "All right." He made some hand signals, and then the gates began to open. "Pull around to the back. They'll tell you where to go."
"Thanks," Jean said. The vehicle began to move forward…
"Whoa, hold on." Another soldier got in front of them, arms extended to either side. He frowned. "Sorry, sir. But we can't allow anyone through without a full inspection of the vehicles. Gotta make sure there's no funny business." He shrugged apologetically. "You understand."
"Of course," Jean said. He really did. As the first soldier went around to the back, Jean shut his eyes.
"What do we do?" Twyla murmured. Jean knew exactly.
"Now or never, Mikasa," he said.
Levi stole a hooded cloak from a farmhouse's clothesline. He kept the hood up as he hit Mitras's borders. He remained in the shadows, noting that the streets were damn near empty and only patrolled by soldiers. Hmm. He'd have to figure out the best way to go about this.
The sky was at peak twilight, a dusky shade of blue and purple. Dammit, Mikasa should've been here by now. What if she wasn't? Did he go straight for the palace and Erwin, or did he try to find the launch site? Either way, a bunch of assholes were gonna die.
He couldn't be among them.
"Tch." He sneered at the thought of Petra and the kids seated at Erwin's table right now. Forced to do what he wanted.
He thought of Erwin forcing himself on Petra, and had to refrain from going berserk right there.
Find them first. Nothing else matters. Not the world. Not Marley. I need them.
He had allowed himself to need his family, and he could not undo that. He would let the world burn for them. He could never, ever give them up.
As Levi tried to assess the situation, sirens began to blare.
He hugged the corner of a building as multiple sirens screeched. He heard shouting, the tramp of many feet running here and there. Levi wondered if he'd been spotted. Shit.
But then, high above, he heard the drone of an engine.
Marleyan airships sailed overhead. And they would only be making a direct attack for one reason.
Mikasa. The brat had taken the missiles. Levi grinned.
Fuck, this all might actually work. Instantly, his job became easier. As chaos erupted in the streets, he effortlessly made his way towards the palace. He was stealthy, and quick.
Petra. Baby. I'm almost there.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Erwin snarled. Floch looked uncomfortable, one of the few times he wasn't smug.
"Majesty. Jean Kirschtein took the Tower. He's barricaded himelf and his regiment inside with the Azumabito engineers. They have control of the launch chamber. And…" Floch looked like he was perspiring. "Mikasa Ackerman is there. They say she has Azumabito warriors. Maybe hundreds of them."
Erwin continued to sit and think. He heard the droning of airships overhead. He knew that soldiers were currently parachuting into Mitras, and all over the island. And he could not launch his hyperfusion weapons. There was no way to do it outside of that control room.
Fuck. They'd probably destroy the system. He would kill Kirschtein, and Mikasa.
"Majesty?" Floch asked. Erwin shut his eyes. Calculations and possibilities flashed behind his eyelids.
"Floch. Take one hundred of the Guard and storm the Tower. Use your titan form. Whatever you have to do to regain control of the missile launch, do it. Do you understand?" He gritted his teeth. "Anything is permissible."
"Yes, sir." Floch sounded gleeful. He saluted, then went to carry out the order. Erwin sat back and ran his hands along his face. No use. He needed the Founder now. They could not wait any longer. He signaled for a servant. "Prepare Springer for transport. Bring me a syringe kit."
"Yes, sir. Should we…prepare the Ackerman boy?"
"No." Kuchel would only let Erwin near her brothers. He had to move quickly. "I'll deal with that. Just do as I say."
The servant left, and Erwin strode to the window. The palace grounds were still peaceful, but the sound of gunfire rattled even this exceptional calm. The sooner Erwin had the Founder, the sooner he'd turn every single one of the traitors into titans, let them loose on the Azumabito. Yes.
He just needed Connie. And Oruo.
The syringe kit arrived. Erwin took the needle and vial of spinal fluid. He prepped the shot; he didn't want to wrestle the boy while he tried to prepare. He'd inject Oruo as soon as they arrived at the pits, then take Connie out a mile or two, transform into only half of his colossal body, and eat the young man. Then it was a quick trip back.
I'm sorry, Oruo. Petra. Levi.
Erwin's hands trembled as he finished preparations. He placed the tip of the needle in a bit of rubber, and laid it back in the case. As he closed the lid, he heard commotion in the hall outside. Brigitta charged in. Her eyes were wild.
"Don't you dare." She coughed. "You bastard!"
"Go away, Brigitta." He signaled for someone to take her, but she slipped away from them and ran straight for Erwin. He caught her easily and held her off.
"You're not going to do it to him! I won't let you! I won't!" she screamed. She kicked at Erwin, who had finally had enough. He slammed her down onto the table, the case rattling beside her head.
"Would you like a trip to the pits as well?" he hissed. Erwin felt the world melting all around him. A cough bubbled in his throat. He choked it back. "Stay out of my way. Be ready to look after Siegfried and Kuchel."
"You can't! He's just a baby!" she shrieked. Brigitta tried to bite him.
He did not blame her for any of this. She was in the right. But he was out of time.
Erwin lifted her and nearly threw her into a waiting soldier. "If she keeps fighting, take her below to be with her sister." He pocketed the case. "There's only one way this ends well for you, Brigitta. Be wise."
She glared at him but did not fight. Erwin headed for the children's room. He had to stop in the hallway and double over as the coughing returned violently. He felt blood on his lips. It felt like his chest was on fire as he slumped against the wall. God, maybe this was it. The very end. Maybe he didn't have to do this heinous thing after all. He could merely slip away into death…
No. Siegfried needed this to be done. So did the world. This was Erwin's disaster, and he had to fix it.
He wiped his lips and hurried. He just needed Oruo Ackerman. And then the world was his.
Petra shouted and banged at the bars of her cell. She shook them until her teeth rattled. But no one came to check on her.
What was happening? She couldn't hear anything this far away underground, but she knew that the guard around her had all but abandoned their watch.
That meant something was happening.
Levi? Are you and Mikasa here? Fear seized her heart. Or is Oruo…?
Petra screamed and kicked. But no one came.
"It's okay." Kuchel sat against the wall, Armin bunched against her. Even Oruo let her hug him, though he did his best not to snuggle. Outside, guns and sirens were going off. Kuchel was scared, but also calm. She felt like she would know exactly what to do when the time came. "Papa will be here soon."
The door opened. Uncle Erwin came inside with a couple of soldiers behind him. They waited at the door while Uncle Erwin smiled at the kids.
"Kuchel. I'd like you and Armin to wait right here and stay out of sight." He turned at Oruo and extended his hand. "Oruo, why don't you come with me?"
"No," Oruo growled. Uncle Erwin calmly reached anyway.
Kuchel shoved Oruo behind her and looked up at her uncle.
"Where are you taking him?" she asked.
"I need Oruo to help me with something. It's a very important job. When it's over, Oruo, you'll be a hero."
"What does he have to do?" Kuchel frowned. Uncle Erwin looked kind of anxious. Slowly, he knelt before her.
"You know how your grandfather was King Uri? How his family has a specific power in their blood?"
"Uh huh."
"Because you're an awakened Ackerman, Kuchel, your blood can't help me. But Oruo's still can."
Her brother growled; he hated being reminded that he wasn't as strong as Kuchel.
"So…what's his blood gonna do?" she asked. Armin bundled up next to her. He hugged her arm.
"It will help me unlock the power of the Founding Titan. When I do that, I can end this war. All that shooting going on outside? I can make it stop in one second. Like that." He snapped his fingers. "Everyone will be safe."
"But how can his blood help?" Kuchel would not let this go. She had to understand. Protect Oruo. Mama had said…
"You know how I'm a titan shifter?" he asked. She nodded. "In order to become a shifter, I had to be a pure titan first. So that's all I need. Oruo will be a pure titan for a few minutes—"
"No." She had seen pictures of pure titans. They were monsters that ate people. Oruo gripped the back of her shirt. "Mama and Papa used to kill titans."
"He'll only be that way for a few minutes. Then I'll give him a shifter's power and restore him to normal. Wouldn't you like that, Oruo?" Erwin spoke to her brother now. "You could have enormous power. More than anyone else in the world. Wouldn't that be good?"
"Uh…" Oruo sounded uncertain.
"But if he's a shifter, he'll only live like thirteen more years. Won't he?" Kuchel sheltered her brothers behind her. She glared at her uncle. "You can't!"
"Kuchel, when I have the Founder I will take away that stupid thirteen year rule. Oruo can live to be an old man, the same as I will. He'll save the world and gain an enormous amount of power. It just requires a few minutes. That's all. And then you'll both be a prince and princess, just like Siegfried."
"We already are princes," Oruo muttered. "Armin's not a real one."
Armin nodded helpfully. He didn't care about prince stuff. He just hugged Kuchel's arm. Uncle Erwin looked kind of annoyed.
"Your father doesn't want to be king. He was happiest when he fought in the army with your mother and me. He was happy to follow me. It can be like the old days again. Your father will be happy, and he won't have to fight my troops or me. Your mother will have her whole family together. You'll be rich, and powerful, and happy for the rest of your lives. I just need Oruo to be brave for a few minutes." He gently stroked Kuchel's hair. She let him. "All right, sweetheart? Just give me thirty minutes and everything will be fine."
Kuchel sat and thought. Oruo pushed himself against the wall when Erwin reached for him.
"No! Stop it!" he snarled, trying to bite Uncle Erwin's hand. Kuchel sat there, thoughts whirling. Her parents would be happy; her brothers would be happy; Oruo would be powerful, like he wanted. The world would be saved. Everyone would live.
Protect Oruo. Mama's whisper was in her ear.
Oruo struggled to get away from Uncle Erwin. Kuchel stood up. She only came up to the top of her uncle's stomach. She gazed up at him. He looked very softly at her. She knew that he loved her a lot.
"Kuchel, don't let him!" Oruo shouted. Her little brother was starting to cry, a rare sight. "I don't wanna be a titan! I don't wanna!"
"Kuchel." Armin tried protecting Oruo as the soldiers started to approach. "Kuchel!"
But she didn't move.
Protect Oruo. Save the world.
She had to…
"Okay," she said. Everyone stopped moving. "Okay, Uncle Erwin."
She smiled. Her uncle beamed and patted her cheek.
"That's my brave girl."
He'd hugged her and read to her when she was a baby. He'd sent her presents. He'd taken care of her when Papa was gone. She did love him.
She took his hand.
Kuchel wrenched the arm. She heard it break at the elbow. Before Uncle Erwin could even cry out, the kicked him in the kneecap and shattered it. He fell to the floor in almost slow motion while Kuchel spun through the air and delivered kicks to his ribs and face. His bones crunched, and his teeth flew out of his mouth. He went to his knees, and Kuchel grabbed him by the busted arm and then hurled him over her shoulder. Uncle Erwin screamed as he struck the floor so hard that she heard his back break.
Kuchel stood over him, tears on her cheeks.
"Fuck you," she snarled.
What happened next took maybe three or four seconds. Maybe less. But to her, it was all slow and easy.
The soldiers faced her. They took out their guns, but she did a spinning kick and got rid of both weapons. With a single punch, she sent one of the men across the room. She kicked the other in the groin; he fell to the floor and passed out.
"Come on. Hurry!" She called for her brothers.
Armin and Oruo rushed to her side.
"Ku…chel." Uncle Erwin gave a bloody cough. She didn't look at him as she led the boys out of the room.
In the hallway, another five or six soldiers waited. They all had their guns pointed at her.
Kuchel yelled for the boys to get back.
The big pink words told her just what to do. She somersaulted across the floor and broke ankles. She kicked guns out of hands and flipped overhead, caving in someone's ribs and demolishing someone else's nose. Kuchel did a backflip and planted her feet right in a man's stomach. He fell to the floor and gasped for breath. She didn't want to kill anyone, but she was fine with hurting them a lot. She rolled, punched, kicked, flipped, and in less than a minute all the grown ups were lying in a pile around her, moaning and crying.
Kuchel smiled at her brothers. Armin was astounded.
Oruo squeezed his eyes shut, bunched his fists, and made his face turn red. When his powers didn't awaken, he jumped up and down in fury.
"Oh come on!" he snarled.
"Let's go." Kuchel grabbed both boys' hands. "We need to find Mama, then we need to get out of here and look for Papa."
"How do you know he's even here?" Oruo snapped as she led them away.
"Trust me. I know it," she replied.
Levi watched Marleyans parachuting into Mitras by the dozens. He used the chaos to hurry for the palace. He didn't stop to try and grab a gun. All he needed were his blades.
Close. So close. He saw the palace in the distance, smoke rising up all around it.
Hold on, kids. Petra.
Erwin felt his bones knit back together. Finally, he was able to sit up. Getting to his feet was a nightmare, but doable.
"What's going on?" Brigitta arrived. She looked horrified as she beheld him. "What the fuck…?"
"Stay. In. Your room," Erwin snapped. He pushed past her and into the hall, bellowing for whatever soldiers were about. He nearly tripped over about a half dozen of them, mostly unconscious. Kuchel. That girl was incredible. But of all the times to become an angry adolescent…
Erwin strode forward, his bones healing with every passing second. He had the syringe. He would get Oruo one way or another. And he would win.
He would save this world.
Levi barreled up the palace steps. A couple of enemies flew at him, but they both got his blade. He pushed into the melee of the grand hall. Guns were firing, people were bleeding. He dodged the carnage.
"Petra? Kuchel?" he shouted. Levi used his ODM to shoot down the hall and out of the line of fire. He came upon two soldiers. Instantly, he killed one and disabled the other. Holding the guy against the wall, Levi sneered. "Queen Petra. The kids. Where?"
"I…I…" The man squealed when Levi started to slice off his arm. "I don't know about the queen, but the king is taking the children to the pits! That's all I know!"
The titan pits…
Oruo.
"If I'm too late," he growled, "I will kill you and everyone else."
The man sobbed as Levi rushed to get to the palace grounds. The pits were mere moments away. He could make it…he could make it…
Oruo. Please, Kuchel, protect your brother.
Petra's voice had broken. She tugged at the bars uselessly.
"Someone! Help!" she screamed. It came out as a hoarse shout. Her babies. Were they in the fighting? Were they dead? She needed them! She'd happily die if she knew they were safe.
Petra straightened up when the door to the cell block opened. She clutched the bars. Levi? Please, let it be him.
"Hello? Levi?" she whispered.
"Petra." Brigitta hurried over, a ring of keys in her hand. Petra cried out in joy. Her sister fumbled with the keys, then finally slid the correct one into the lock. With a click, Petra was released.
"Gitta." She hugged her sister fiercely. "I love you. Oh god, the kids…"
"Erwin's taking Oruo to the pits. He's going to transform him." Brigitta's eyes were bloodshot. She looked half out of her mind. She grimaced; tears fled down her cheeks. "We have to go. We have to stop him. We have to…"
"Yes." Petra gripped her sister's hand tightly. "Let's go. Right now."
They hurried past a soldier with a bullet wound in his head. As they did, Brigitta let something fall from her hand and clatter on the ground. A gun. Her sister had killed someone to free her.
"Oh, Gitta," she whispered. Petra tried hugging her sister, but Brigitta fled the embrace. Okay. That was her first kill; no wonder she was so broken.
"We have to get to him. We have to get him," Brigitta kept muttering.
The women managed to get upstairs. It was pure chaos, but that gave them an opportunity to escape. Brigitta guided Petra along the lesser known corridors in the palace. Soon, they found the doors that led to the outside. Across the lawn, Petra saw the copse of trees where the pits were located.
"Come on!" She dragged Brigitta, then eventually let her sister go and raced ahead. She pumped her fists, practically tore across the earth. She could not be too late. Her baby would be safe. Oruo was going to be in her arms in mere moments. He'd never leave her again.
She'd die first.
Please, please let me be in time.
Petra sped into the trees until she came upon the pits. No humans were there. She slowed, listened to the guttural snarl of several titans. Frantic, she looked into one pit after another. Her heart ached when she saw Nile gazing up at her, gnashing his teeth.
She had to find a way to free him. But first…
She came upon the final pit, heart in her throat. She looked inside. It was…
Empty. Oruo wasn't here. Her knees were so weak with relief she nearly pitched forward and fell into the pit. Petra backed up, laughing. She felt delirious.
"He isn't here. He isn't. He isn't here…"
Then she heard a footstep behind her. Petra turned around.
Levi eventually made his way onto the lawn. Ahead, he saw the pits. He ran faster than he had run in his life, practically a blur as he sped for the trees. He would make it. He would be in time.
He had to make it.
Fuck. As he entered the trees, he heard a woman's voice wailing. His blood iced in his veins as he barreled ahead, tearing into the clearing where the pits were.
Brigitta was on her knees, head in her hands. She rocked back and forth, muttering and wailing. She was tearing out fistfuls of her hair. Levi hurried over, knelt beside her.
"Brigitta? What's wrong? What…?"
Oruo.
Levi went numb. Brigitta pointed ahead.
"Um. Um." Then she started laughing. She laughed until she screamed. She just kept pointing dead ahead at the pit.
My son.
Out of his mind, Levi crawled to the edge of the pit. Trembling, he looked down at the thing.
The titan wandered back and forth, snarling as it tore at the walls. When it heard noise, it looked up at him.
This titan couldn't be Oruo. It had brown eyes. The hair was red, not black. For a wonderful instant, Levi almost laughed.
The titan had brown eyes. Red hair. And he realized that there was an awful familiarity about the face.
Levi pulled away. He shook his head once, twice. No. That was wrong. It made no sense.
He looked into the pit again, and the titan roared. It bared its ugly teeth, raised its stumpy arms in an attempt to climb up and rip him to pieces. It slobbered like the dumb brute beast that it was.
It was…
"No. No." He started to pound his fist into the earth. Wake up. Just wake up. "It's not. It's not you. It's not!"
But Petra's titan howled and gnashed its teeth together.
How? How the fuck?
Levi pressed his forehead to the ground and screamed. He screamed until his body shook with it. He screamed as he thought of his wife with those beautiful doe eyes of hers, that smile. The way she kissed him, argued with him, tucked their kids into bed. The way she loved reading, and going to the beach and standing on the shore and letting the waves play around her ankles. She laughed. She made love to him.
And now she was that thing, all of her sweetness and humanity lost.
The titan roared again, wanting Levi to fill its belly.
He gripped the hilt of his blade. Thoughts flew like birds, shattered like glass. He was the world's greatest titan killer; this was his job. Kill the thing. That was his life, kill and kill and kill…
"How the fuck did this happen?" he roared.
Brigitta wailed as if in answer. Levi ran over, hauled her to her feet. The woman kept babbling some insane gibberish, her eyes lolling wildly about.
She was completely gone.
"Who did this? Who did this?" He shook her too hard, harder than he should. But Brigitta only made horrible faces and burst into tears. He let her fall to the ground, watched her lie there and sob into the earth. "Who did this?" His voice broke. He spoke to no one. "Who did this?"
Levi choked back a sob. His world was ending. Let the bombs tear the place apart, what'd it matter? He should just do his wife this mercy; she wouldn't want to live as a dumb beast. She'd want him to slice her nape. He touched his sword…
He snatched his hand away as though the thing had burned him. No, no, not Petra. He couldn't kill her. He couldn't live without her. He had to find another way. He…
Erwin.
The grief was so overwhelming that Levi's mind snapped under the pressure. He felt himself go dead behind the eyes. His mind quieted. There would be time to scream and cry later, when she was human again and in his arms. Later.
The king's term was almost up. He was the world's enemy.
Erwin. I brought you back for my child's sake. Now your death will be for my wife.
Your end will have meaning. I swear.
Levi left Brigitta behind as she sobbed. At that moment, he didn't care about her. He didn't even think about his children. This task was very simple.
Find Erwin Smith. Maim him. Bring him here. Feed him to Petra.
And then, when his wife looked at him with her human eyes, a shifter's tears on her face, only then would he grieve. Only then would he be a man instead of a monster. He would restore Petra's humanity, and his own as well.