Authors Note
I want to take a moment and say that even though this chapter is literally coming out the day after the previous one, I'd like to take a moment to ask everyone reading this to read the end coda, it's nothing to change the world it'll become clear why I ask this once the chapter has been read, Thank you.
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Episode 61: The Island
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"you've seen so much, you've been through more, it's time to wake up" said a voice, Dallas quickly dashed towards the nearest water in sight, even if it was a grey complexion he needed some water, he felt like he could die of thirst, suddenly something pulled him back to the sound of a chain clinking, he was pulled off his feet, he quickly reached his fingers forward towards the water, "I wouldn't do that if I were you" said a voice, Dallas turned and looked towards him, then he realised that he himself was muzzled, he grabbed at the metal mask and began to try and tear it from his face, but there was no success, "I would have moved you, but you weigh a lot, hence the muzzle" said the figure, Dallas looked at him, his hair was long with a mullet at the end, he had a baggy green shirt over a blue T-shirt over it, dark blue jeans and white sneakers, "here I can control almost anything, I can materialize anything" he said, then he looked towards the ocean, "anything I'm finished I throw in there" he said, before walking towards Dallas and sitting cross legged on a rock, "I can give you almost anything you want" he said as he smiled at Dallas, but in his deep and grouchy voice he simply said "Bolt cutters", the figure reached out and as if like being virtualized a blue wire frame of some bolt cutters, they gained detail as the dropped into his hands he moved towards Dallas and began to snap the chain link, Dallas quickly moved away, before looking at the sea, "I assume you know what'd happen if you entered that sea" said the figure, Dallas looked at himself, he wasn't wearing his Lyoko gear, he was dressed as he usually would, he quickly reached into his boot and grabbed his knife, before looking at the figure and saying, "chisel" before clicking his thumb against his middle finger, he sheathed his knife, as he was handed a chisel he then placed the chisel behind his muzzle and began to scrape at it before tearing through the lock as it feel off, he took in a breath as he felt his head feel free, he grabbed the mask and dipped it into the sea, the area that it touched disintegrated, he threw the remainder down onto the beach, "Digital sea" said Dallas as he stepped away from the figure, he noticed 5 towers, 4 stood overlooking the small beach, the other stood at the other end of the small island that they were perched on, "I learnt not to stick my hand in there, first time I did I lost these fingers" said the figure holding up his hand showing his pinkie and ring fingers missing, "where are we" he asked as he looked around, "Xanadu".
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Dallas was unsure how much time had passed, there was no sense of time, it just got darker and the two were sitting by the lone tower, he looked up noticing it had no aura, he looked down at the figure as he sparked a fire for the two,
"So who are you" asked Dallas raising his eyebrow, "I can fly like a bird not in the sky, who can always swim and always dry, I say good bye at night and morning hi, I'm part of you what am I" replied the figure as he handed Dallas an open tin and a fork, "A shadow" said Dallas as he dug the fork into the tin and took a bite before spitting it out, "sorry, should warn you everything tastes like dog food here" said shadow, Dallas put down the tin and the fork, "you're not a program" he said, shadow looked up at him, "what makes you say that" he asked, Dallas smiled as he looked at his sleeve and noticed he still had his weapons, he nodded, "you told a riddle, and you know what a food tastes like, a program wouldn't know that" said Dallas as he grabbed the fork and chowed down on the food again, "you get used to it" said shadow, Dallas put the tin down again, "so what is Xanadu" he asked the shadow smiled as he scooped up a handful of sand and dirt, "imagine an alpha stages of a video game" said shadow, he emptied this hand, "an area that was programed merely as a test device" he added as he brushed his hand empty, "so how are we here" asked Dallas.
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"The year was 2003, it was a time to be alive, I've been here so long I can't remember, I discovered the factory with a group of my friends, similar to you and Jeremie, we then shortly discovered the super computer, they were nervous, they were nervous as shit, but myself…, I turned on the supercomputer and instructed them to use the sequence to virtualize when I'd worked it out, looking back at it I'm surprised XANA didn't manifest or maybe it needs time, but them being scared they must have shut the super computer off mid process, I never made it to Lyoko, instead I was glitched here, they triggered a return to the past somehow, and forgot what happened to me, thus is where I've lived for I don't know how long anymore, then the supercomputer started again, and I began to watch you all, each and every one of you, I took an interest to you, as you died you were caught in the return to the past, you couldn't die" said Shadow as he threw his can into the water, "you've seen and watched our every move on Lyoko" said Dallas as he threw his tin into the fire, "indeed I have been, when you feel into the digital sea, I destroyed some of my own memory to save you" said shadow, Dallas raised his eyebrow "I no longer know much before my imprisonment" added shadow as he got slightly angry, Dallas stood up looking around "so what are those towers" he said pointing towards them, shadow stood up and said "come and see".
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"Dad I can't do this" said Dallas as he looked up at his dad with Liam sitting at the side laughing, "don't give me excuses, I know you can do it" replied his father, then everything froze, Dallas looked at Shadow as the two stood aside watching the events, "you were young, this early you started training" said Shadow, Dallas nodded as he sat down on a bench, he looked around at the trailer park, it was so long ago, the young Dallas that the two could see had short hair almost buzz cut like, he stood about 4 foot in height, everything started moving again, "okay punch it" said their dad, Dallas threw a right hand, it was week and uncoordinated, "no, no, you're left handed a southpaw, you need to learn to fight with it, don't do what others do" said their father as he grabbed Dallas and placed his palm against the knuckle, "the old man always insisted that I started from a young age" said Dallas, before he felt his chest, "whats the matter" asked Shadow, Dallas shook his head as the young Dallas threw his left hand, "That's it you gotta put all your weight threw it" said his dad, Liam shook his head and said "the shrimp will never get it", Dallas was frustrated as he threw more powerful punches, "that's it you got it" said their father as Dallas slowed down out of breath, "so these towers can show me my memories" asked Dallas, shadow nodded and said "yeah they show certain points from times in your life", Dallas nodded as time skipped forward "where are we now" asked Shadow, Dallas looked away "my last day at school" he said, Shadow turned and looked, Dallas was still stick thin and skinny, it was clear he was anorexic, but he was a foot taller despite being in his third year, "I'm surprised after three years of training" said Shadow, Dallas shook his head, "the old man taught me things, but he never let me put on the muscle to effectively use it" said Dallas as they watched, Dallas was being knocked into by everyone in the school yard, "watch it" said someone even though they'd knocked into him, then someone who was large stomached came over towards Dallas, the kid was the same age, although by looking at the two it'd be never clear, "give me your money" said the kid, Dallas didn't look at him, "leave me alone" replied Dallas as he tried moving away, but he was grabbed on the shoulder and found a serious mount of pain as the other kid began gripping him tightly "I said give me your money" he said angrily, Dallas didn't want to get violent but he was being pushed, "did you hear me you stupid son of a…" started the kid but he was stopped as Dallas slipped from his grip, he then pulled the arm down onto his shoulder, there was a loud snap followed by a scream by the kid, everyone around turned and watched as he turned and twisted the kids arm back, before jumping and kicking the Kid in the face the two toppled over, landing on their backs, Dallas smiled knowing that he'd managed to stop getting bullied.
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At the time for Dallas it felt like ages, but as he watched it back it was only 30 minutes, Dallas looked at his younger self as he sat down in a classroom alone,
"This was the start of my isolation" said Dallas as he looked at Shadow, "what happened" asked shadow as Dallas rubbed his chest again, "the kid who attacked me, Reece I think his name was, turns out his family were a rich family from the nearby suburbs, they were saying their son would never start the altercation" said Dallas, he stopped as his dad entered the room and moved towards his younger self, "Dad I'm telling you he started it I only defended myself" said Dallas almost crying, he was expecting a backlash but he was hugged, "I'm proud, you didn't give in to someone who could have gotten away with bullying you" said his dad, Dallas felt his tears turn from anger to a mixture of sadness and happiness, "come on we need to speak to the principal" said his dad as he led him out of the class room, Dallas and shadow followed them, Liam stood outside the door as he looked at them, Liam had a tooth pick in his mouth, "it's gotten worse" he said as he spat it out, he opened the door to hear the shouting of Reece's father "THAT BOY ASSULTED MY SON, AND YOU'RE SAYING THAT HE DESERVES TO GIVE HIS SIDE OF THE STORY" he barked, Dallas looked at Reece his arm had been placed in a make shift cast, his nose had a massive bandage over it along with several other cuts on his face, Dallas huffed seeing the damage, the older Dallas laughed at the wounds, "what do you have to say" said the principal, Dallas stood up and said "whilst I admit that I did inflict the wounds you can see, I would like to point out he was the first one to lay a hand on me", Reece's dad stood up and shouted in Dallas's face almost spitting "THAT'S ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT STOP LYING YOU FUCKER, MY SON WOULD NEVER HURT ANYONE THERES NO MARKS ON YOU" he roared, the principal was standing for it "from the account that Mr Marshal has given, Dallas has MMA training for self-defence" said the principal as he looked at Dallas's file, "he also has no priors for violent behaviour, and numerous witnesses state that he wasn't the one to start the altercation" added the principal, but he stopped as there was a loud banging on the table, "IF MY SON IS CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTED ASSAULT I WILL SUE THIS SCHOOL AND I WILL SUE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE" shouted Reece's father, however Dallas's and Liam's dad wasn't standing for it, "considering you've no backbone I'll sort the situation out myself, I'm pulling my son out of school, both of them" he said, Liam and Dallas looked at him, "you're shitting me" said Liam, the principal looked at him, "so you admit your son is a violent psychopath" said Reece's father, as Liam and Dallas walked out their dad turned and said "there's a difference between running and walking away, this is the latter", Dallas and Shadow watched as the memory ended, "I suppose this is the end of this memory, you're fighting ability coming together" said Shadow as the two exited the tower, "yeah he made a decision, when people blame you for others mistakes that's something that hurts" said Dallas.
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The two noticed as it was night time, Shadow quickly set another fire next to the towers, he spawned another can of dog food for Dallas,
"I hope I don't become addicted to this stuff when I get home" said Dallas as he opened the can, "how did you feel being pulled out of school" asked Shadow, Dallas looked at him through the flames, "being blamed for defending myself, it's one of the most painful things I've ever been through, being blamed for my mistakes is one thing, being used as a scape goat for another's is a different pain entirely" said Dallas as he began eating the food again, but the night soon began to crack to dawn again, "I'm curious" said Shadow as he looked at the other towers, "My memories" asked Dallas, Shadow eagerly nodded, Dallas threw his can away as he stood up and joined Shadow as the two passed into the next tower, Dallas looked around recognising the place, his younger self was sitting on the porch with Liam it'd been two years since the two had been pulled from school
"Admit it, our future is bugger" said Liam as he had a bottle of J&B scotch in his hand, "what do you want me to say" said Dallas, then the two noticed as there was a car stalling noise, a 76 Oldsmobile delta stuttered along until it stopped almost opposite from them, "oh this was a good day" said Dallas, Shadow looked at him as they followed the others down the stairs, "why this day, why is this projected" asked Shadow, Dallas pointed as Sol stepped out of the car, "God Fucking Damn" he shouted as he popped the hood, "watch it, got a kid here" said Liam as he walked over, "whats wrong with her" he asked as the two looked down at the engine as steam emanated, "no idea, I'm literally about 2 minutes from my auto garage" replied Sol before he extended his hand "Sol" he said, Liam shook it and said "I'm Liam this is my little brother Dallas", Dallas nodded as Sol smiled, "I know I've just met you but I could do with some help" said Sol, Liam and Dallas looked at each other, "turn off the handbrake and we'll push" said Liam, Dallas smiled as he and Shadow watched from afar, "this was the time I learned not to be selfless" said Dallas as he watched himself push the car with Liam's help, the memory flashed forward, Dallas and Shadow watched as they were at the Auto garage, "thanks for your help" said Sol as he applied the hand brake, Dallas looked at the engine, "wish I knew how this worked" he said as he shook his head, Sol nodded and looked at the two, "the kid in school" he asked, Liam leaned against the car, "he got pulled out after being blamed for a fight" said Liam, Sol nodded, and walked over to Dallas as he looked down the engine, "you want a job kiddo" asked Sol, Dallas looked up before looking at Liam, "if anyone needs a job, it's that sob" said Dallas as he pointed towards Liam, "you need something to keep your time busy" said Liam, Dallas looked at Sol and said "I know fuck all about Cars", Sol laughed and replied "I can teach you, all you need to do is show up every day and get paid", Dallas looked at Liam before he extended his hand "okay" he said, Sol shook it, the memory ended "explains why you're a black thumb" he said as the two exited the tower, "yeah I learnt a lot from that man, I think it was because of me that he and my brother hooked up" said Dallas before smiling knowing his mistake led to some good.
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The two looked at the next tower, Shadow placed his hand on Dallas's shoulder and asked,
"Is it getting too much for you", Dallas looked back and shook his head, "no I have a feeling these memories were chosen for a reason" he replied, the two stepped into the tower, Dallas's eyes shot open realising what the memory was, "No, no, no" he said as he fell to the floor, Dallas and Shadow watched as a younger Dallas and his father looked at Liam's corpse on a table,
"It's him" said their dad as he held his mouth, he turned away beginning to tear up, Dallas stood by his brother looking down at the corpse, "I'm sorry son, his death has been ruled a Suicide" said the coroner, he turned and followed the senior Marshal, Dallas looked down at his brother, he began crying, but his dad came back and patted him on the shoulder, "come on" he said as Dallas stood up, it was clear he was pissed off, "he didn't commit suicide" said Dallas as he got angry "he was stronger than that" he added as he walked out, "freeze the memory" said Dallas to Shadow, the memory paused and Dallas walked towards Liam's corpse with Shadow following him, the two looked down, "something bothering you" asked Shadow, Dallas nodded and said, "barely a few days after he was arrested for an alleged shooting and they already killed him", the two exited the memory and returned to the fire, Dallas felt the pain in his chest getting worse, his knee felt worse as well, he was handed another tin, "tell me" said Dallas as he looked at Shadow, "do you remember anything before you became trapped here" he asked, Shadow smiled and said "barely anything, one memory I have is off my girl her name Dorothy, she may have an old name, but damn she was one fine girl" Dallas laughed "by any chance she about 5'8 blonde hair, interest in medicine" he asked as he took a massive bite of the dog food, "yeah why" asked Shadow, Dallas laughed "she's the nurse at Kadic" he said, Shadow laughed "she never really left then, I asked her to wait for me, I guess she did" he said as he downed his can, he then noticed something was bothering Dallas, "there's something you're not telling me" he said, Dallas knew what he meant, "every time I think back to Liam, I'm always met with the last time I saw him, even though he was dead, his eyes were still alive to accuse me" said Dallas before he was about to cry, "we've got one more tower" said Shadow, Dallas looked at him and said "I need some rest".
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Dallas slept, but he was turning in his sleep, he quickly shot forward he was sweating but his chest pain was getting worse and worse,
"I should've warned you that sleeping is just like being empty inside" said Shadow, Dallas looked at him before asking "what are you, what are you really", Shadow stood up and walked towards the tower, "I'm what men love more than life, fear more than death or mortal strife, what dead men have what rich require" he said, Dallas flipped onto his feet, but his knee gave out almost instantly, "nothing" he asked, Shadow returned to him, "being here for so long, that's all that I am now" he said angrily, Dallas followed him to the tower, "this is the last one" said Dallas as he limped inside, he looked at his room from Kadic, "oh for fuck sake" he said as he looked at the room, it was nearly pitch black the only light was from the moon and the hall lights underneath the door, he then looked at Shadow, "what am I learning here" he asked him, Shadow shrugged his shoulders, Dallas noticed something odd his fingers were back, he looked at his younger self on the ground with a bottle of J&B scotch in his hand crying, "the day I learned to trust again" he said, "Honey I'm home" said Jeremie sarcastically, he noticed the light was off, he quickly flicked the switch, he then noticed Dallas crying at the end of his own bed sitting on the floor, "Dallas" he said as he walked over and crouched down to see he was half drunk with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, "Just leave me alone" said Dallas as he pushed Jeremie away, "What's the matter" asked Jeremie as he moved back towards him, "why am I bothering, I've nothing, my dad's dead, Liam's dead" said Dallas as he pulled his knife from his boot and held it to his arm, "Dallas that's not the answer you know that" said Jeremie as he tried grabbing the knife from Dallas's Hand, "Don't" said Dallas, his tears of pain quickly turned to anger before he threw the knife at the wall causing it to crack, "Dallas I promised a reason" said Jeremie, "stop, just stop the fucking memory" said Dallas, then everything froze, he turned and grabbed Shadow by the throat, "now I've got some questions for you" he said as he limped carrying him out of the memory and throwing him downwards onto the cinders of the fire, "You brought me, now I know a lot of people they don't do shit for no reason, and you've done nothing to suggest you just wanted to save me" said Dallas as he rolled his sleeve up and grabbed his projectile launcher, Shadow just laughed and punched Dallas in the chest he fell forward, "well looks like me and you are going to depart on a bad note" he said, Dallas looked up at him, "you may think I'm working for XANA, you couldn't be more wrong" said Shadow, Dallas coughed up virtual blood from the punch, "I've been trapped here for too long, and you arriving, that's allowed me to leave" said Shadow as he kicked Dallas down, "that tower, that is the way back to Lyoko, but I'm incomplete" said Shadow as he tore open his shirt to reveal numerous wounds that showed an empty chest, "you don't need me, we can both leave" said Dallas, but this only warranted another kicking from Shadow, "are you a fucking Idiot, this is a beta map" he said as he extended his arms outwards, "this was never finished, I've spent my imprisonment here programing the towers to replay my memories but they never worked" said Shadow as he looked down at Dallas, "I turned my attention to the nexus synch, but by that point I was too eroded to exit, I had lost too much, and I sacrificed much more to bring you here" said Shadow, Dallas looked up and spat his blood at him, "why me, how do I fit into all of this" he said angrily, "at first I thought I could at least suffer with another being, but then I realised that I could drain your healing potential" he said laughing, Dallas realised that was the reason for his chest pain and his knee cap failing him, "trust me you don't want what I've got" said Dallas as he tried standing up, but he was kicked back down "I'll make that choice, you're my chance off escape, and once I'm gone you'll know death, you'll join those you got killed" said Shadow, Dallas was becoming infuriated "you fuck" he said, Shadow looked at his chest as it began to heal, "brilliant, not long now" he said, but Dallas suddenly snapped, only Jeremie truly knew what happened when Dallas snapped, he stood up suddenly his knee seemed inconsequential, Shadow laughed and threw a punch but Dallas grabbed his arm and twisted it snapping his arm at the shoulder, Shadow screamed in pain, Dallas then kicked out his leg, "what're you doing you stupid Idiot" asked Shadow as Dallas dropped on top of him and curled his fist, he then began pounding and pummelling his fist into Shadows skull, but it kept healing because of the shared ability, Shadow turned his head to the side and opened a window looking at the power drain, Dallas was only angered further and extended his blade and sliced off Shadows arm, causing him to scream in agony, Dallas grabbed the screen and swiped it backwards, his chest stopped hurting, he then smashed the screen, he then turned his attention back towards Shadow, who was still healing his face wounds, "I've absorbed enough to take you on" he said mocking Dallas, but Dallas extended the hook blade and smacked it into Shadows face and tore, Shadow screamed violently as the side of his head was snapped off, his skull was visible but his eye was gone, along with a chunk of his head, then he noticed something, "You fucking idiot, the island is collapsing" said Shadow, Dallas looked back as the Island either sank into the digital sea or raised into the air and disintegrated, he suddenly calmed down, his feral rage was gone, "you destroyed the screen, you've caused the memory to clear itself up you idiot" said Shadow, Dallas stood up crushing his knee with his hand, he looked at the Nexus tower, he grabbed Shadow, "I'm not letting you die here" he said, but Shadow tried pulling away, "are you crazy I've not perfected it, there's no guarantee you'll get back in one piece" said Shadow, Dallas looked at him and then at the Island as it destroyed itself, "this is our only chance of survival" he said, Shadow quickly placed his one hand on the screen on the tower, suddenly a door section opened and a white light appeared, "now you're gonna leave me to die like you did the others" said Shadow as the destruction got closer, "I'm not making that mistake again" he said as he pushed Shadow into the white light, he then followed him, the two screamed as they were engulfed, whilst left behind Xanadu disintegrated the earliest work on the super computer was destroyed.
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"Dad" asked a younger Dallas as he looked at his father, "yes son" he replied as he put down his book and pulled the young boy onto the sofa, "why do you train me to fight" asked Dallas, "the world is a rough place and it will beat you down if you let it, it's what those tags stand for, stay your blade from the flesh of an innocent, only fight when you need to, never against someone you don't have to, defend those who are close to you" said his dad, Dallas's eyes shot open, he felt himself falling in the white void, the light was close to blinding him, he looked around to see if he could spot Shadow, but he was nowhere in sight, "why am I remembering that now" he said to himself as he felt his descent speed up, suddenly he stopped falling, but he didn't hit a ground, he screamed as if he was being torn in two, the only words he could hear were "defend those who are close to you", he began to lose consciousness as he felt himself fade away into nothingness…
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On the Desert sector Adam shot forward on his bike, he'd abandoned the tower at XANA's request,
"Left here, it shouldn't be hard to miss, even for you" said XANA, Adam rolled his eyes as he stopped, he looked down at a massive white void that sparked lightning around said void, "what the fuck is this shit" said Adam, as he looked at the void, suddenly there was a blinding flash as if a figure was thrown from it, but it was too out of focus for Adam to see, "I hope you're seeing this" he said as XANA was monitoring from his eye view, suddenly there was a bigger flash, this one came with a knock back that threw Adam and numerous rocks that were light enough backwards, the sand blast was see able for half the sector, Adam stood up again, "I hope you saw that" he said as he ran back towards it, "it's gone" said XANA, Adam jumped down to where the white void had been, "this can't be right" said Adam as he placed his hand on the ground, "you never had any info on this before" said Adam, XANA angrily replied, "I must have never witnessed this before now", Adam shrugged his shoulders and said "great, is there anything else you're not telling me", XANA dully replied "yes, something I had to keep from you and Evelyn to make sure that the info didn't pass into our enemy's hands but now it's crucial that you know", Adam looked up at the sky as he heard XANA say "it's time we began the X-800 Program"…
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Authors note
yeah another short one but I feel this is a quality over quantity with this chapter, its meant to explore the feelings of guilt and remorse that I believe a lot of people don't recognise, because whilst some people write it off as being Ludacris and stupid when they see it, some people do find it difficult to move on from an issue, this is where my depression stems from, that inability to move on, and I will proudly admit that this chapter my not be the finest I've ever written myself, but I will defend my reasoning for this chapters themes.
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Actually I want to go deeper into my reasoning for such themes, I've mentioned before that a major reason for the hold up of this series is my on-going battle with depression, and a I've had people say there is no reason for me to be depressed, and the person who specifically said that to me became one of the biggest reasons for my depression, she lied to me and cat fished me so she could have a better life, I know that happens to a lot of people, but my point is I can't really talk about this because of that reason, but since around the publication of Nightmare I've struggled with a worse depression than I'd ever experience before hand, because I realised that the pain that others had inflicted on me and the mistakes I'd made weren't leaving me, I'm going to be a hundred percent honest the character of James Norris and the characters that attacked Kadic in a subsequent chapter are based off of those people who caused me to be depressed, that was my revenge to them a way to try and move on from what they did to me, but one thing I can't move on from was I projected what they did to me onto others, and even though the person I did it to forgave me, I can't forgive myself, which is the theme explored here, Dallas can't forgive or let go of the death of his brother or his dad, and that's something he has to live with, albeit it's more of an extreme than my reality, but the message is still there its tackling the pain that a mistake is, and I feel I'm gonna alienate a lot of people with this speech so it's a risk I'm gonna take, because in the end it's just the apology of a mad man for what might not even need apologising for, thank you for reading this extra section and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.