Chapter Sixteen: Before

Moving is never fun. But it was easy since Emma didn't have a lot of things. When she was a kid, bounced from one foster home to another, this had been especially true. All she had was a backpack of this and that, and the clothes on her back. When she'd run from Storybrooke, she had only taken one backpack too, and it was only now when she had Henry, that she had more items to her name. Most of them were things she bought for him and had to then pack up. The moving truck had already taken most of her stuff to the new apartment and she was only packing up the few boxes left into her Bug.

"Road trip, road trip!" Henry exclaimed, happy to be on the move. Ever since Emma had decided to move back to Storybrooke, Henry had been so happy. She was happy that he was happy, for the decision hadn't come lightly. Sure, moving there would be better for Henry's developing relations with his other mother, but Emma was nervous. The place held so many regrets for her. And Regina was there. She knew Regina truly wasn't happy about this, about having Emma closer. Too many painful memories, and Regina had made it clear she had no interest in reconciling with Emma. Which stung, but was warranted.

Emma had to have left. She couldn't even provide a note saying she was, because too many other problems would arise and the whole reason Emma had left was so that Regina could continue her future. Get the education and job she needed. Emma was no one. All she had been good for was kicking a ball around on the field and even that hadn't been good enough to get a scholarship to college. Not that she had gone to college. She didn't have much of an education. Sleeping on the streets, trying to scrounge for food, would do that to someone.

When she and Henry arrive at Storybrooke, they go straight to their apartment. It's cheaper than her Boston one, newly refurbished, and bigger too. Their boxes are already there and now it's just a matter of unpacking them. Of unpacking her new life here, where technically, her future had been ruined and rewritten.

"I call the room facing the street!" Henry hollers out, taking a box of his stuff into his room and going to claim it. Emma chuckles and shakes her head at this enthusiasm. She'll have to take the other one then. She begins the laborious process of unpacking and putting everything up. She has the kitchen, the dining room, and her bedroom all set up within two hours. Henry is busy unpacking his half of the boxes when there's a ringing on their door. Emma isn't expecting any guests and she wonders who it could be. She'd told Ruby she was moving in, but she hadn't specified which apartment.

She opens the door and finds Ruby on the other end.

"I came to celebrate you moving in," Ruby said, holding up two bottles of tequila.

"How did you find where I lived?" Emma asked, letting Ruby in.

Ruby passed by her in a cool breeze, setting the bottles down on the new coffee table. "Best friend instincts."

"Bullshit," Emma rolls her eyes, closes the door and goes to sit on the couch by Ruby who has stripped off her jacket and tossed it over the back of the couch.

"Okay, fine," Ruby admits, "I went door to door on this street, looking for you."

Emma laughs. "They must have hated you! It's only 11!"

Ruby shrugs. "Whatever. Now, are we cracking these bad boys open or what?"

"Let me get the glasses," Emma says and gets them. The two of them talk for a little bit over sips of their tequila. It's nice talking to Ruby. Despite the years missing between them, it's like nothing ever happened. Ruby has forgiven Emma easily, something that Emma wishes Regina would do.

"So...about Regina," Ruby eventually coyly segues into their conversation about real estate. "How's that front going? You live closer to her now..."

Emma shakes her head at Ruby's suggestions. "No, I'm not here for her. I don't intend to do anything with her."

"Not even be friendly with her?"

"Ruby...that is long and gone-"

"Sure," Ruby snorts. "Regina really cared for you. And you really cared for her."

"We were teens," Emma says, a touch irritably. She's in no mood to discuss her ex-lover. "We felt like it was pure love because we didn't know better."

"But it was, Emma. There's such a thing as mates. And not just in the sense of mating, but in the sense that a pair find themselves perfect for one another. And that's what you and Regina could have been. When the two of you were together it was like nothing else mattered in this world."

Emma clenches her jaw. She doesn't want to confirm Ruby's words because she doesn't want to think on how true they are. "What are you trying to do, Ruby?"

Ruby tucks her legs under her. "I'm trying to get you to see that you're mates. You need her, just as she needs you."

"She has a wife. I'm not going to ruin that for her! I'm not some homewrecker." Emma sputters, growing louder.

"I'm not telling you to do that. I'm just saying she's as unhappy as you are. I've seen her over the past ten years and I can just see it. She doesn't love Kat the way she loved you even if the two of you were young and not together for long."

Ruby's words threaten to make Emma hope. And hope is a most dangerous thing. She squashes it down. "None of this matters," she mumbles, chugging down the rest of her drink. "Nothing is the same anymore. I had my chance, and I blew it."

"It wasn't your fault," Ruby puts a hand on Emma's shoulder to comfort her.

Before Emma can comment further, the doorbell rings. She wonders who that could be now. She gets up, slightly stumbling under the weight on the drink on her mind and opens up the door.

She entirely does not expect to Regina on the other side, holding a basket in her hand.

"I thought a welcoming gift would be nice," Regina said as she and Emma stared at each other on the door step. Emma was aware of how inadequate she looked right now. Hair in a messy bun, gray sweatpants on, and a flimsy tank top. And she smelled of alcohol, her eyes a bit glassy. And Regina was here, looking like perfection. She had on a black peacoat, opened since it was a bit warmer today, revealing a blue shirt and tight black slacks underneath with kitten heels. She had on but a touch of lipstick and her hair was coiffed. She looked so good. "But I see you are busy partying." This last part was said with derision as the music from inside that Ruby had playing from her phone for this occasion, picked up.

"Uh, Ruby came to christen the new apartment," Emma fumbled. "You're free to come in."

"I hope you aren't exposing Henry to this sort of behavior?" Regina said, clearly not happy at that prospect.

"No, he's in his room, playing video games."

"He should be doing his work."

"We just moved today. He should have the day off, besides he's not officially enrolled in school until later this week."

Regina's nostrils flared. She was disappointed by this and Emma swallowed down the bitter resentment rising in her throat. Not all of them could be perfect. She had done fine handling Henry as a single mother. It hadn't been easy and she'd wanted to give up more than once, but it had happened and she'd made it. Henry was an amazing kid.

"Hey Regina, care for a drink?" Ruby asked, holding up the glass. Regina's eyes narrowed on her as she came in to set the basket down.

"No thank you, Ruby. Some of us actually have to get back to work from their lunch break." She turned to Emma to complete the interaction. "I baked some apple turnovers. I hope you and Henry can enjoy them."

"We will, thank you," Emma said, feeling awkward about this whole exchange.

"When you're done you can bring the basket back. But that is all." Regina is making it perfectly clear that she is only doing the perfunctory duty of greeting Emma to the town but after this, there should be no more exchanges between them. Emma understands it loud and clear. She nods her head, tight lipped and then Regina walks off.

"Man, you've been blessed with her baking. It's so good," Ruby says, already half of turnover in her mouth. She makes a moan of appreciation. Emma can't help but wish she was blessed with other facets of Regina- like her forgiveness. But she understands it won't be given to her easily.

Emma goes to take a turnover to Henry.

When she returns to Ruby its to chug more alcohol down so she can forget her emotions that Regina's arrival dredged up even for a little bit.

True to her word, Emma doesn't bother Regina. She doesn't greet her when they occasionally cross paths. She doesn't seek her out. Nor does she try to interest herself with her business. They only see each other where Henry is concerned. And that's fine because it's how things should be. But Emma can't help but long for Regina whenever Henry comes back with a hint of the alpha's scent on him from their long day out. It's eating her up inside. But she can't do anything about it, because Regina is married. And Kat is expecting. Still, that feeling inside chews her up, and she thinks, maybe if they could just be on good terms with each other, things wouldn't be so difficult anymore.

Surely Regina can't hold a grudge over silly things they did as kids. They didn't know better back then. Emma tries to tune into the conversation she is having with Regina.

"I talked to Kat, about our arrangement. With some...debate, we managed to come to an agreement. She said it was fine if I did that, every other week, because she understands a boy needs two parents. But she gave us a list of things we cannot do together," Regina took the list out. It was on colorful stationary. "We have to abide by this. Also, we cannot be out for more than three hours."

Emma took the list, not even looking at it yet. "She's got you whipped." Emma makes a whipping noise. Regina scowls. "She does not. I love her, so I am willing to respect her wishes and keep her informed on what is going on."

This is a dig at Emma who sighs, tired of this sourness between them. "I know you're upset at me. But if you keep making snide comments at every chance you get, it's really not going to help either of us heal from the past."

Regina looks very much like she wants to argue but refrains from doing so. "I could try. But no promises."

"Good," Emma jerks her head. Tucks the paper into her pocket. "So, you still up for seeing the play with the kid on Thursday? Offer still stands."

"You didn't even read to see if it's on the list of acceptable-"

"It's a fucking play, Regina. We'll sit in separate rows if it bothers Kat so much."

Regina sucks in some air, taps her toes against the floor. Refraining from saying something, once more. "I can't go," Regina shakes her head. "Kat's got a meeting at the doctor's to check the baby and I'm going with her."

The lump in Emma's throat tightens. "Right. Never mind then, next time," she offers up a small smile. Everyone's moved on but her. Why can't she? Regina's having her own family, Ruby is running the diner until she gets enough money to leave, and what of Emma? Still alone, unable to be loved. Having thrown away her future as a soccer star all because of one mistake. A mistake not even she was responsible for.

"Emma..." Regina calls out when she sees the dejection Emma is trying to hide and failing to do so. It looks like Regina is making effort now. Trying, which is all Emma really wants. "I would love to hang out with you, as a...as a...a friend. We're both Henry's moms and," she pauses here, takes in a steadying breath, "and we might as well get along. I don't know what happened between us all those years ago, and I won't ask. I respect your right to privacy even if sometimes wondering about the past keeps me up at night. But, let's keep what happened in the past, and move on and try to be...nice to each other. For Henry's sake."

"For Henry's sake," Emma murmurs in an echo. Like a pledge they are making.

"So, I'll take you up on the offer of going to see that play. It is indeed something I'd like to watch. If you don't mind, I'd like to bring Kathryn along too."

Emma's rising hope plummets down. Of course, she shouldn't have expected it just to be the two of them alone. What had Emma even expected? That she and Regina would just be buddy buddy quickly? No, there was a decade of hurt between them, and Emma's traitorous heart needed to stop expecting anything more from Regina, even if she sometimes saw the way Regina looked at Emma, when she didn't think Emma noticed, like the world stopped and ended with her.

Emma had seen that look before, when they'd been together, so she knew unmistakably what it was. And it had always made her so warm all over, just as it had now whenever she saw it. But now...things were different. And she had to respect that. At least Regina agreed to sort of try and be friends with Emma whenever they did see each other.

Emma's fitting in well at the job at the sheriff's station. The work isn't nearly anywhere as dangerous as the one she used to have. It's mainly desk work, boring menial desk work, with the occasional call to break up a drunk fight at the local bar. Emma's worried she'll lose her figure from sitting behind the desk all the time. Which is why she spends so much time at the gym whenever she can. The gym isn't state of the art but it'll do. She can be alone with her thoughts here, plugging in an Ipod and just listening to rock music to pump her up. Things are just simpler, more peaceful, when it's her and the music and the burn in her muscles.

When she finishes up, she showers and then dresses, making it upstairs before her lunch break. Graham's at his desk. He notices her come in- she's the only person who has the past week. They haven't had anything to do but talk to each other and see who can fly paper airplanes the farthest. She enjoys spending time with him. He's handsome, and reliable. And kind.

"Give the bench press hell?" he asks her, because they've worked out together before and he's impressed with how much Emma can do. But she didn't run down criminals successfully for years without having kept a fit form.

He knits his arms behind his head as he watches her flex in the shirt she's wearing. Her biceps aren't that visible but they still strain against the fabric. "Bet I can beat you."

"I won't wager against you, Swan," he says affectionately. "I've seen how much you lift."

She sticks out her lower lip in a pout. "Ah, you're no fun."

"I can bet that I have bigger biceps," he said in an offer of appeasement and got up, flexing his arms. Emma rolled her eyes. They were bigger than hers, only because he was taller than her.

"I see the two of you are putting tax payer dollars to good use," came the sardonic voice accompanied by the click clack of heels on the floor.

Emma jerked around to see that Regina had arrived and she looked pissed. Pissed but hiding it. Failing to kind of do so.

"Uh madame mayor, sorry-" Graham stuttered. She waved her hand dismissively. "Save it," she said, voice cold. "Emma I need to speak with you."

"Right," Emma said and followed Regina over to the outside of the sheriff's office. She wondered what this could be about. Probably nothing good.

Regina surprised her when she pulled out two tickets from her suit jacket pocket. "Tickets, for the play this Thursday."

Emma stared at them dumbly before she took them, a bit taken aback by this. "You got us-"

"It seemed only fair to do that. You moved in not long ago, surely you might be short on funds, and theater tickets aren't cheap even if it's no Broadway. Kathryn and I will also have dinner before hand at the La Croix restaurant. We expect to see you both there, dressed nicely, and on time," Regina said crisply, before she straightened out her suit lapels with a concise tug and walked off.

"Um, thank you!" Emma remembered herself and called after Regina but the mayor was long gone.

It wasn't a date, but it almost felt like one, if that made sense. Anyway, Emma was nervous enough like she would be on a date, so maybe that's why it felt this way. She had dressed up in the red dress she loved so much because it made her standout. She curled her hair too, did her make up, and fretted that this would be too much. She'd even given Henry a little tux they'd rented out for this occasion.

"Ma, it's just dinner, relax," Henry said, which was easy for him to say, he didn't feel awkward towards Kat or Regina. But seeing him so calm did help her a bit. She took enough cash to pay for the expensive meals and then they were off. Regina and Kat were already seated so Emma and Henry joined them.

Kat was wearing a green dress that was off the shoulder. Regina next to her was wearing a black Maxi dress with golden touches to her makeup. She looked amazing and Emma's stomach twisted. She was filled with the urge to run her hands through Regina's hair, to taste her lips once more, and just-

She sat down and immediately began gulping down the water. Kat raised a brow at this. "Thirsty?" she asked.

"Mhm," Emma agreed, swallowing down the water. She had to keep herself cool and collected. Regina was sat in front of her, and she too seemed to take in Emma's outfit with too much care. Emma didn't miss the way Regina's eyes swept over her before flicking to the side shamefully. Oh this was going to be an awkward evening. She just hoped she and Regina could keep it together long enough that no one would suspect.

Luckily, Henry says the day. He jumps in, blabbing about this and about that. All their attention goes to him, which helps Emma from gawking at Regina more than she should. She does sneak glances in here and there and she notices that Regina's eyes flick away from her, as if looking at her too.

The only thing that bothers Emma more is looking at Kat. Because Kat is pregnant and she has the support and love of her mate to get her through this. Emma had no one. She wondered, would Regina had treated her this well too? She can think of thousands of sceanarios about this.

The meal is delicious or so Emma assumes. She is too nervous to really taste it, and too distracted to even notice she's eaten it until it's all gone. Regina pays for the meal, because of course she has to flex on them.

Alpha's, Emma thinks but secretly doesn't mind. It reminds her of the times Regina would always pay for any food or sweets Emma wanted when they used to date, because Regina had money to burn and was conscious of the fact Emma didn't have a hefty allowance.

They make their way to the theater and it turns out that they're sitting in the same row. Regina presumably next to Kat, with Henry as a buffer between Emma and Kat. But Henry surprises Emma when he pipes up. "I wanna sit next to Kat."

This catches everyone off guard, no one sure how to react for a good while. "Henry, are you sure?" Regina questions, coming out of the stupor first.

Emma pieces together his plan, and instantly is mortified. Why is he trying to do this? Doesn't he know they can never be what they once were? It's cute Henry wants Regina and Emma together, but it simply won't happen. It can't happen. Emma has to remind this several times to herself. Because lately she's gotten too hopeful. "Henry," she hisses under her breath and he shoots her an innocent look like he doesn't know what he's doing.

Kat, looks delighted. She clasps her hands over her belly, smiling. All she's ever wanted is for him to like her and she is happy he's making an effort. "I wanna know more about my baby sister. I'm going to be a big brother to her. Or a big brother to my baby brother," he says and how can they say no to that? They can't.

And in this sneaky manner, Henry ends up sitting in between Kat and Regina, leaving Regina and Emma together. Emma feels wired. On edge. It's a strange feeling, one she hasn't felt in a long time. It makes the pit of her stomach electric and she tries to force the emotion away but she can't.

Regina for her part, looks cool, as if this doesn't inconvenience her. They sit down, Henry blabbing Kat's ear off about questions on the baby, and the lights go dark as the play is about to begin.

Emma tries to focus on it, she really does, but she can't but help be drawn to Regina. To look at her every reaction to the play. The way her lips quirk up in humor, the way she shakes her head softly when she disagrees on an action a character takes. And her scent. It comes in strong. Strong and heady and invading Emma's atoms with a fierce grip.

Emma clears her throat and tries to lean back into her seat. Tries to stop looking at Regina. She hopes the woman hasn't noticed her staring. She puts her hands on the armrest, accidentally bumping into Regina's arm that is also sharing it. The alpha looks down, frowns slightly and moves her arm, but not off. This close, their bare arms seem to skim with electricity, vibrating between the naked flesh.

Emma closes her eyes, tries to center herself. What is wrong with her? Why does this feel like so much? It's like everything is longing for Regina. It's something she hasn't felt in years, not since she was a teen and couldn't resists touching Regina, letting them claim each other in the most intimate of manners.

"Are you okay?" Regina's voice breaks Emma out of her inner thoughts. She's looking at her, gaze intense and Emma twists at the thought of just leaning over and kissing her. It would be so easy. But it would ruin everything.

"I'm...I'm fine. I'm going to go to the bathroom," she croaks out and leaves, to splash some water on her face. She lets the faucet run and stares into her reflection in the sink. What is she doing? She should be running from Regina. Shouldn't be pretending to be friends with her.

Not when her insides were screaming for her mate.

Mate. She thinks bitterly. Years ago she would have been delighted by this concept. She had always wanted a place, a home to belong to. And belonging to someone, well, that felt like being home, didn't it?

But now, know she wasn't delighted with having a mate, because all it did was hurt her.

Emma doesn't go back until the play is thirty minutes from being over. Regina looks at her questionably but doesn't ask, turning back to the play. When it's over, and Emma is blinking in the lights of the show, she swears Regina's scent has only gotten stronger around her, and she can feel her nerves coming alive to it, dancing under her skin.

"That play was awesome, wasn't it Ma!" Henry looks at her, smiling innocently up and she has to tell him what he did was wrong. And that he couldn't do it again. But that will be for later.

"Yes, it was...good," Regina murmurs, looking distracted by her own thoughts. Kat loops an arm through hers, smiling contently. Emma's hackles bristle at the casual touch. She tries to calm her jealousy down but finds it's not easy to swallow down.

"Thank you, for the tickets," Emma adds on and Kat looks at Regina sharply. Oh, what was the meaning of that?

"You bought their tickets?" Kat says and it sounds like a hurt accusation.

Regina barely registers this question. "Hm, I did. Thought it would be a nice welcome to this town."

"Well, good night. We'll be heading out. Henry, say good bye," Emma instructs, before she can witness the fight she senses is brewing in the air. Henry says goodbye and they leave Kat and Regina behind.

Emma is exhausted and she gratefully sinks into bed when she gets home, barely bothering to undress or take her make up off. Her dreams are fitful and she can smell Regina's scent in them, calling to her, making her whimper when she can't seem to find where it's coming from.

The excitement from last night catches up to Emma, proving to be too much. Because the next morning she wakes up hot, aching, and needing a certain alpha by her side. With a mute look of horror she sits up from bed, brushing back her strands of hair and breathing rapidly. She can smell it on her. Smell her pheromones in the air.

She's in heat.

A/N: Haven't mentioned ruts or heats in a hot minute. So, here we go.