Chapter Seventeen: We Lost

A/N: There was some divide between if Emma should be with Regina or Graham during her heat. Some of ya are about to be right.

This isn't good, is Emma's first thought, because she won't be able to take care of Henry like this.

Normally one could take heat pills to dampen the effects of it, but this had caught Emma completely off guard because it wasn't supposed to happen now. She hadn't even made her typical arrangements to have a friend look after Henry. She took out her phone, wiping a bead of sweat that ran down her forehead. Fuck, she was hot.

Her clothing was uncomfortable on her, and she rubbed her thighs together. She needed relief, bad. Could she ask Graham? But he was at work today and there was no way she would have Henry stay at the police station for the day.

Ruby?

But no, Ruby was busy running a diner. It would inconvenience her to have Henry there for the full day or two.

The only option left was Regina. Because even though she was at work, Kat was at home and could potentially take care of Henry for her.

But Emma was wary about going to Regina for help. What if Emma's heat affected Regina? Or the sight of Regina on Emma's heat affected Emma? They would be put into another terrible situation. And it wasn't unlikely that it wouldn't happen. After all, Emma knew how badly her heats had affected Regina when they were but teens.

Emma grumbles and runs a hand through her hair. But she doesn't have much choice. She pulls out her phone to call Regina, figuring she'll just douse herself with enough perfume to mask her scent. It'll be a quick in and out.

No, talking. No interacting. At all.

She promises this to herself as the phone rings and Regina picks up.

"Emma, what is it?" Regina asks briskly, and not sounding happy at all to be interrupted from her work. It's only nine am but she sounds neck deep in work.

"Um, hi," Emma breathes out, feeling her stomach twist at even the sound of Emma's voice on the other end. Fuck, this is already not starting off good. She needs to speed through this. "Uh, could you, possible take Henry for two to three days?"

"Why?" Regina asks and if she notices Emma is breathing more heavily than usual she doesn't comment. "He's not scheduled to be with me for a while."

"I know. But my heat- it came out of nowhere or I miscalculated when it would come and-" she knows she didn't miscalculate it. She was always careful with it now. "-and, I need you to come and pick him up and take care of him."

"Oh," is all Regina says for a while and Emma wonders, what is she thinking? What is she feeling?

"Regina...?" Emma questions as the phone line buzzes.

"Sure, I'll be there. Just get him ready," she says, her voice sounding tight and then she hangs up.

With a sigh of relief, Emma throws away the phone and sinks a hand into her underwear. maybe she can manage to get herself off before Regina arrives. After hearing her voice, Emma needs some dire relief. Her eyes slip closed as she works her fingers in.

Regina hadn't been expecting a phone call from Emma before 10 am. The woman was not known to be an early riser. And she had expected even less to find out that Emma was in heat. As soon as Emma said that, it was like Regina's body was in the sauna. Everything was too hot and she started squirming in her seat uncomfortably.

"Can you pick him up?" And Regina balks at that. She wants to say no. She wants to say but stay the fuck away from me. But to say that would be to admit that Emma's heat has affected her, and Regina isn't supposed to be affected by it. Not when she has Kat. Not when she is mated.

Fuck, what is she supposed to do? She has to take Henry, there's no way Emma in heat can take care of him like this. She needs to be quick. Get Henry and go. Why is she even reacting this way so badly to Emma's heat? Then again, she always did when they were teens too. There was no way she could control herself. Other omegas in heat didn't bother her, didn't even float under her radar. But she could never resist Emma's siren call.

Sighing and preparing herself to face the temptation that is Emma's heat, Regina drives over to Emma's apartment, knowing full well this could be a bad idea. She should have asked Kathryn to do this, but Kat is fairly along by now. About seven months, and it would take a toll on her body to drive out all this way.

Besides, Regina's an adult now. She has more control over her self. She can resist the call of Emma on heat. They won't even have to interact long. They'll just exchange Henry and then Regina will be leaving. She keeps repeating this to herself so that she remains calm and centered, but once she gets out the car and walks up the stairs to Emma's apartment, she can feel a pit of fear opening up in her stomach.

Be strong, she reminds herself and thinks of the family she has at home, and not how good Emma will smell when that door opens. She knocks on the door and doesn't have to wait long to have it open. It's only open a crack, but the smell wafting out- the smell of Emma's heat, triggers memories in Regina. Memories of them, memories of what that scent meant.

It's like a string, pulling Regina to Emma. Tugging at her very heart. She stumbles against the door and if the chain lock hadn't been holding it only a crack open, Regina would have fallen right into Emma and kissed her. Luckily it's there, probably for the safety of them both.

Regina breathes heavily and tries to remember herself. One hand is clutching the wood of the door frame on the outside, the other curled uselessly against the door as her upper torso and face are twisted in towards the small gap in the door. Her muscles are bunched up and she has to remember how to breathe. How to think, on anything that isn't just Emma.

Emma looks similarly entranced but she shakes out of it first, taking a solid step back, trying not to breath as deeply to avoid Regina's scent. It's amazing how she's able to do that, and Regina's own lack of restraint has her scolding herself for being so weak.

She steps back too, holding her shoulders back, curling up her hand, letting her nails bite into the skin to keep her grounded with pain. "I'm here to pick up Henry." She has to clear her throat because her voice is husky.

"Right, Henry," Emma nods her head and closes the door. She doesn't unlock it, instead, allowing Henry to open it up and exit. Probably for the best. He wrinkles his nose up at her, schoolbag slung over his shoulder. "Why are the two of you acting weird?" he asks.

She offers him a watery smile. "Just...you'll understand once you get older, Henry. But not right now. Come on, I have some fun stuff you can do at home with Kat. I have to get back to work."

Regina doesn't know how she manages to drive Henry to her mansion with his belongings. Everything is a lust colored fog and all she can think about is how hard she is and how much distance she's putting between Emma and her, which her alpha side screams is wrong, totally wrong!

She tries to ignore it, gritting her teeth tightly.

Regina has never smelt Emma on her heat ever since she moved here, or even in any of their interactions prior to this when it was just those weekend trips. Regina knows once past the age of 25, heats and ruts die down a bit, not happening ever so often because the body becomes past the child bearing age for omegas and mated alphas or betas react to that decline with their own waning sexual needs.

Which means it's not odd that Regina hasn't seen Emma in a heat, even if she did have one, she probably stayed home before it happened for safety reasons. Regina knows, because she'd seen Ruby taking care of Henry for some days, and then Regina had to take care of Henry too on those random days.

Regina calls the office, saying there's been an emergency she must tend to. They don't question her, as she's the mayor anyways. Regina's hands shake as she texts Kat that she won't be coming back home today because she has to be out of town for work. It's a lie. The biggest fucking lie she's told Kat, right after lying to herself that she doesn't like Emma. No, she doesn't like Emma.

She craves her.

Intensely.

With a burn she's never felt for anyone else.

"Fuck," she curses as she gets to the hastily acquired hotel room and throws herself on her sheets. Her body is aching. Hot. Almost like she's in rut, but she knows she's not. She shouldn't be, and yet something in Emma triggered her like this.

She struggles out of her jacket, then goes to unbutton her shirt and pants and gives up halfway. She needs release now. She takes out her hard member and closes her eyes as she imagines it's not her hand that's doing all the work.

She strokes faster, and faster. It doesn't take long for her to come, spilling all over her hand and the sheets. And yet, she's still not satisfied.

She wants more. She wants Emma.

She bites down into the pillow and screams into it in frustration.

This shouldn't be happening. She should be over Emma already. But then why was her body screaming at her so loudly? Was it possible they were mates?

If that's the case, then Regina truly and well is fucked.

It took everything in Emma not to pull the door open all the way and lunge at Regina. Wrap her up in her arms so their bodies could slot together in a sweet ache. But, Emma was able to remember herself. Mainly because under Regina's alpha scent, she could smell Kathryn and it turned Emma off from her.

So, she pulled back and sent Henry out. Only then, did she go to her room and make a nest out of her bed. She shed her clothes like water, Regina's scent lingering in her nose. It sent a throb through her. A deep ache she never felt with anyone else.

Mates. She was certain they were mates.

Why did fate have to be so cruel? They couldn't be together. If only Emma had gathered courage faster, would she still have been able to have Regina? To come back and be with her? But Emma had solved her problems by running. And now, the method had come to bite her in the ass.

It was too late for regrets. Her hand slips down between her soaked thighs and finds the button of her clit, circling around it eagerly.

Emma touched herself and touched herself until the touch didn't work for her anymore. By then, she was a panting, needing mess, gazing blearily at the clock and finding it was already this late. Still, her body felt raw, needing more attention. Needing something inside it that she didn't have.

She needed an alpha to knot her, but not just any alpha. Regina.

But she couldn't have her. So she did the next best thing. Emma sent out a text, knowing it wouldn't go ignored. Because she could trust this person. They cared for her. And she cared for them. And she wasn't blind. She knew they had some feelings for her. Besides, an omega in heat was way too tempting for any alpha to ignore unless mated. And last time Emma had checked, he wasn't.

She's not wrong. The text is hastily answered and she grins to herself, deciding to get up and shower, to take at least some sort of break. She's just finished scrubbing off when a knock on her door comes.

Emma rushes over to the door, flinging it open to find Graham on her doorstep. And he smells amazing. Never been more appealing than this moment now. He's showered from work too, and dressed in a flannel and jeans. He's left his beard scruffy and he's got a sheepish grin on his face, like he's almost sorry for intruding on her mid-heat.

"Hi," he says, eyes raking down only her towel clad form. There's no doubt he can smell the heat on her, even with her freshly washed skin. He swallows, eyes darkening as Emma's own darken in delight.

She takes him by the hand, leading to her bedroom. "Come on, sheriff. Show your deputy some new tricks." She's too aroused to be shy and it seems her words shake off his shyness too as he closes the bedroom door and strips off his shirt eagerly, throwing it haphazardly on the floor. She drops her towel in like and watches as his pants tighten.

Smirking, she tugs him by his belt loops to the bed.

"So...Regina?" he questions as they lay huffing in bed. He props himself up on his elbow and looks over at her. She flushes and punches him on the shoulder. Unfortunately, she'd had a slip up during sex, and she'd hoped he hadn't heard it, but he had.

"Stop."

"I'm curious. Since when did you have a thing for the mayor?" he quirks up his brows. He doesn't seem mad about this, which is nice. Most alphas would get pissed off if an omega mentioned another alpha during mating. But, he truly was a kind and gentle alpha. She felt a smidgen bad for using him like this.

"I have a son with her." She decides to just spill her biggest secret on this matter. He was bound to find out at some point or another.

His brows shoot up.

"It's complicated."

They shoot down. "Sounds like you need to work some things out."

Yea, she fucking knows that. Everyone under the sun is telling her this. "I know. Now, can you just fuck me again? I really don't wanna talk about it."

She rolls over to face him and he kisses her, before rolling on top of her.

Graham stays with Emma during the night of her first heat which is a great thing for him to do. He doesn't owe her it, especially because they're not a mated pair or even past lovers. But he cares for her, and it's clear in the way he leaves her a breakfast on the second day of her heat, before he goes to work. He leaves a note saying if she ever needs his services again, to give a call.

She smiles at his thoughtful note and then digs into the meal. She feels better today, so she might not be desperate enough for the heat of another in her bed. But, she also liked spending time with him, so maybe she might call him up to watch a movie or something.

Emma sends a quick text to check in on how Henry's doing, and then goes to shower, needing to wash the lingering remains of her heat away. She can't help but feel, happier. As if her future doesn't need to be as bleak anymore. And she wonders if it's because she's fully accepted and decided to live with the fact that Regina is her mate or because Graham came through for her and took care of her when he didn't need to.

She smiles throughout her shower and much of the day.

Winter turns into spring and somehow, that single night spent at the theater together had changed things for them even if they never admit it to each other out loud. It was like they had both realized the other was too important to continue avoiding, that they couldn't even avoid them if they wanted to. And so, they stopped trying to avoid each other, instead, they started doing lunches together, spending more time in conversation when they dropped Henry off at each other's place, and greeting each other in public openly.

Their strained relationship became cordial. But while their strained relationship became cordial, Regina's cordial relationship with Kat became strained. She didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones- Kat was in her eighth month so there must be a lot pumping through her. But they made her extremely suspicious of Regina's time with Emma.

Which should make no sense. To Kat's knowledge, nothing between them had ever happened for her to be worried about. As far she as she knew they were old acquaintances. Regina was in no mood to deal with Kat's jealousy or suspicions. Which is why she found herself, renting out a hotel room more often than not to spare from fighting with Kat over the same thing.

She knew leaving a pregnant omega was not a good idea, but honestly, she wasn't feeling very charitable to the situation. Mainly because of guilt. Because Kat was right. Maybe not romantically or physically was she doing anything with Emma, but emotionally, she felt she was cheating on Kat. Maybe such a thing didn't qualify as cheating but to Regina it didn't seem fair on Kat for Regina to be so emotionally invested in her new found friendship with Emma.

All they were doing was getting lunches together or talking to each other when they bumped into each other. Nothing really, in comparison to what cheating actually was. And during these lunches they talked and laughed and Regina hadn't felt this happy in so long. She had forgotten how annoyingly amazing Emma was at making her laugh and these ten years hadn't changed that. It had only made them more mature and better at witty banter and conversation. And Emma was a good listener. Whenever Regina would rant about the idiots at work or about Robin and his annoying fishy smelling self that liked to drop in on her unexpectedly, Emma had wise words of wisdom to impart, such as, "fuck those guys."

Regina really had missed Emma all those years. There was no one quite like her.

"Oh, you have something-" Regina had one day cut herself off when she noticed a black bruise under Emma's jaw. Before she could stop herself, she was touching it, as if her fingers could soothe the pain there.

Emma's face had quieted down at this, the smile slipping off of her lips as she allowed Regina to touch her. This felt like it was crossing so many invisible lines they had painted. "I'm fine. It doesn't hurt."

Regina looks into Emma's eyes, her sea green eyes, to see if she's telling the truth. The air between them grows still, their meals forgotten as they can both feel the pulse increasing int their veins and- Regina draws back when Graham's work man boots stomp into the office, causing the moment between them to burst.

"Oh, hi. I didn't know you did lunches in the sheriff's office," he said to the two of them.

"There's a lot you don't know," Regina says staunchly as she gets up. She needs to leave. She needs to be gone from here. She's made a mistake. One she swore she wouldn't, but she had. She was falling for Emma again. This wasn't even about desiring her on her heat anymore, because that had been different. This, this was truly the scary part: developing genuine feelings of care after she swore never to care again.

Regina was falling for her hard. And she couldn't do this. She couldn't do this to Kat. She collects her things with barely restrained motions. Emma is confused by all this. She doesn't understand why Regina is leaving. Had she done something wrong? But she can't find the words to ask, they freeze inside her mouth.

Regina gets up and leaves and Emma watches her go.

Graham does too, not understanding the mayor's weird manner. "Did...I interrupt something?" he asked, scratching behind his ear.

Emma shrugs, truly lost for once. "I don't know."

Regina screams. When she gets back to her office, she picks up one of the pillows on the couch and screams right into it. What the fuck is wrong with her? She can't have this happening. She's about to start a family with Kat! A family! Why is she falling for Emma again?

Was it because she had never been entirely over her and now that things had improved those feelings had only come back ten fold?

God, she's a mess. She needs to stop this. She needs to fix herself right now. But how? She doesn't know if she can. The only way would be to ignore Emma again but she doesn't want to do that because she enjoys Emma's company too much, and because she doesn't know if it would even make a difference at all to avoid her.

She pulls the pillow away from her face, feeling tears pricking at her eyes as despair fills her. Why couldn't Emma have stayed? Then things never would have been like this. Then Emma and Regina could have already been together, had a family, had a house. Been married.

Regina's inner alpha aches for what she could have had. For what she currently wants. Regina knows about mates, those pairs that are meant for each other and that will want each other no matter what. Is this it? Is this what is between them? Is this why it's so hard to not care about the other?

She crumples the pillow up in her hold. Why can't things just go back to normal? But, what exactly, ever was normal for them?

Now more than ever, Regina wishes she knew what had happened in the past between them. And, she's about to get the truth. So much of it, it'll leave not only her, but Emma reeling as well.