Author's note: Hello everyone! It's me again.
Here it is; enjoys!
Qwqs
Philosophic talk
'What happened? How could there be this particular situation?'
Yuzuru groans as he thinks back on what happened.
-o-O-o-
It all happened one day in afterlife.
As usual Haruka went on her business, helping other students moved on with Yuzuru by her side helping her.
The only exception was that…
…Nothing went as planned.
"Why don't you want to move on, Hanako-san?" Haruka asked when the girl said she would not move on from this place.
"B-but Haruka-san! You are also staying here right? Then I will also stay here with you! You are my first friend; I just can't leave you alone like that! You would get lonely, wouldn't you?! If you decide to move on, I will too. But if you don't, I'm also staying here with you!"
A clueless girl spoke affectionately; not really knowing that the only reason Haruka had decided to be her friend was to help her moving on. There was no affection in being her friend. Haruka was a cold and calculating girl like that.
But those words alone made Yuzuru feel headache.
Is he going to get another helper?
Just the girl Saigusa Haruka alone wasn't bad enough?
-o-O-o-
And so that is the situation at hand.
The girl, Hanako, also refused to move on.
As Yuzuru is about to resign himself to getting another helper, Haruka persists
"You can't stay here, Hanako-san." Haruka begins softly, "This place is for those with regrets or the people who still have things they want to do." Haruka speaks softly as if to comfort the girl.
"You have already got your wish, haven't you? You became friend with me, didn't you?" Haruka asks
Yes, the girl's regret is that she didn't have any friends back when she was alive.
After she has fulfilled them she should be moving on, but…
"But I can't just leave you here all alone! Hey, say, why don't we move on together?" The girl asks.
"…"
Haruka goes silent for a while before finally speaks.
"…I'm sorry, Hanako-san. But I just can't… move on yet."
"Why? Why do you decide to stay here? Why don't you want to move on with me?"
"…"
Haruka goes silent. It seems she doesn't want to answer the question.
"…"
"…"
Time passes in silent.
But Haruka still refuses to say anything.
"…"
"…"
Another 10 minutes passes, before Haruka finally starts.
"…It's because I have a dream."
"A dream?" The girl repeats.
"Yes, an important dream..." Haruka replies.
"What is your dream, Haruka-san? Why would you refuse to move on because of it?"
The girl asks the question Yuzuru wanted to ask Haruka,"Why she decided to stay here? Why didn't she move on?"
"My dream is to…" Haruka pauses, having second thought whether she should really say it or not, "…know the truth." Haruka confesses.
"The truth? What truth?" Hanako asks.
"It is..." Haruka paused again, seemingly really reluctant to say it, "…the truth of life"
"The truth of life…" The girl repeats, baffled.
"…It's kind of embarrassing to say it, but yes. To know the truth of life, that is my dream." Haruka replies.
"And what exactly does that mean?"
"Have you ever thought about why you were born? What is it that you were living for? It may sound philosophic, but I like to think about questions like that…"
"I-I see…" Hanako replies, not really understanding it. She is not the only one though. Yuzuru also does not understand it.
"…Anyway, that is my reason, so I can't move on with you yet. Not until I know a little more of this answer." Haruka continues.
"T-then I will not move on either, I will wait until you find an answer and move on together with you!" The girl said, determined.
"No, you can't do that, you have nothing you truly want to do here; you have to move on." Haruka scolds.
"B-but then, won't you get lonely?" The girl asks.
"It's fine. It is not as if I am all alone, I have Otonashi-san here with me." Haruka says as she turns to look at Yuzuru.
"So you don't have to worry about it and move on. Actually, I really want you to move on and not staying in this place just to wait for me." Haruka continues.
"I-if you really want me to move on then…" The girl replies.
"…Thank you Haruka-san," The girl begins, "for everything you have done for me."
Saying that, the girl disappears
-o-O-o-
Later that day, Yuzuru and Haruka are both in the student council room together. Haruka is reading a book she borrowed from the library when Yuzuru starts asking her questions.
"May I have a talk with you again, Saigusa-san?" Yuzuru asks.
Closing her book in annoyance, Haruka answers, "What is it you want to ask me, Otonashi-san?"
"Are you really meant it… what you said this afternoon?"
"What? Am I really meant it?! Do you think I was lying?!" Haruka counters
"Well, it would be a lie if I don't say, "Yes, I do." I mean, isn't playing around with other people your hobby?" Yuzuru retorts evenly.
As Yuzuru speaks, he reminisces about that time when the girl decided to quit the game to mess with him and also the thing about the NPCs playing pranks such as attacking his student council room.
They were all her doings.
So she couldn't blame Yuzuru if he really thinks that she was lying to get herself out of the shit and made Hanako move on.
"Thank you for your vote of confidence," The girl smiles as she says the words, sarcasms reek from it.
"…" Yuzuru stays silent at her sarcasm.
"Well, you are correct about one thing though," The girl begins, "It is not unlike of me if I would lie just to get away from that situation. What with that girl anyway? Decide to stay here and all… Did she really think I became friends with her because I want to? If it was not because it would help her moving on, who would become friends with that kind of girl?" She rants
Her true color was shown before Yuzuru.
Yes, she is that kind of girl…
Yuzuru has a little trouble believing that such a person would do such a thankless job such as, "Helping other students move on" without any ulterior motives.
Maybe he should reconsider it again, whether he could let her be his helper…
"Hey! I know what you are thinking! Don't cut me out just because my reason for helping other students is not as noble as you!" The girl reads his mind.
"!" Yuzuru is shocked that the girl knows what he was thinking.
"Anyway, it may be hard to believe, but what I said this afternoon is all true. Unfortunately it was not my plan to blow that annoying girl off and let her move on. That is really my dream, the second most important dream to be exact." Haruka continues.
"The second most?" Yuzuru asks.
"Yes, since my most important dream couldn't be achieved here, the second one became my most important dream as of now." The girl responds.
"Knowing the truth, huh…" Yuzuru repeats the words, thinking that by doing so he would understand more about it; the dream of the girl name Saigusa Haruka.
"Is that really your dream? What do you mean by knowing the truth?" Yuzuru asks.
"…What do you know about Buddhism?" Instead of an answer, Haruka asks a question.
'Huh? Why asking this out of nowhere?' Yuzuru thinks as he still responds to the girl anyway.
"Umm… it seems like they believe in reincarnation, and that they are atheists?" Instead of a confident answer, Yuzuru answers tentatively.
"Half correct," The girl said, "They do believe in reincarnation, but they are also believe gods exist."
"Huh? They do believe gods exist?! B-but then why I have never heard of them worshiping any gods?!" Yuzuru confusingly says.
"Well, at first I thought the same as you; that in Buddhism, gods don't exist. But I actually got a chance to prove my knowledge wrong. Actually, in Buddhism, they believe gods exist." Saying those shocking words, the girl earns a doubtful look from Yuzuru.
"Are you messing with me right now?" Yuzuru couldn't help but voice his thought, as if her past conduct wasn't a good telling enough.
'She could be messing with me, and once I believe her, she would then surprise me with the words "Just kidding" If it is her, it is possible!'
Unknown to Yuzuru at all, she is completely serious!
"What? Why would I lie to you?! I see no reason for it at all! Anyway, will you continue listening to me or consider this talk finished?!" Haruka gets angry as she starts to pick up her book again.
"W-w-wait, W-wait, wait, I will listen!" Yuzuru cries out.
"Very well," The girl nods at Yuzuru before continue, "I will first tell you about all the realms in Buddhism's belief…"
And so, this surely would end up being a very long talk.
-o-O-o-
"There are all 31 realms in total; although some just classify them as 6 realms." The girl begins.
"Do you want to first start from higher realms or lower realms?" The girl asks.
"Any is fine," Yuzuru responds.
"Okay then! I will start from lower realms," The girl decides before continue, "The lowest of realm is hellish beings; there is no need to explain what it is, right?"
"Yes, there is no need," Yuzuru answers as he wonders what he would get from listening to the girl explanation of realms in Buddhism.
"The next realm is realm of animals, also no need for explanation." The girl continues.
"And after that is realm of hungry ghosts, those are ghosts who are always hungry or thirsty; they suffer quite a great deal."
"And lastly is the realm of Asuras, the realm of endless conflict between demons. These 4 realms are considered realm of suffering."
"I see." Yuzuru responds, not really understanding the point of her explaining those realms to him.
"And next is human!" The girl says cheerfully, "You and me are both humans, so I suppose I don't have to explain it."
"Yes."
"Next are the realms of Devas, I suppose I should explain what Devas mean to you first. They are a kind of divine being; you might call them gods in Buddhism's belief."
"I see, so gods that exist in Buddhism's belief are these so called Devas?" Yuzuru asks.
"Yes, it is. Let me tell you more about them." The girl continues.
"Devas are classify into 3 groups, I will just call them lower Devas, higher Devas, and highest Devas."
"There are 6 realms of lower Devas. Along with human, these 7 realms are realm of sexuality. The beings of these 7 realms still engage in sex and sensual things. So one could say the Devas in these realms are closer to humans than divine beings."
"I see." Yuzuru replies, to show that he was listening.
"Next are the higher Devas, these beings are above the lower Devas; they are also do not engage in sex and sensual things," Haruka begins, "They do not have any passions, although I suppose they still have their pride."
"There are a total of 16 realms for these higher Devas," Haruka paused before saying, "Anyway, how many realms have I explain so far?" She asks the question to check whether Yuzuru was listening to her.
Luckily, Yuzuru was really listening to her, "Umm… 4 realms of suffering, 1 human realm, 6 lower Devas realms, and 16 higher Devas realms, so all in all, 27 realms?"
"Correct," Haruka nods before continue.
"And the last 4 realms are the realms of highest Devas, these Devas do not have physical form or location, and they dwell in meditation on formless subjects." She pauses before continue.
"Both the higher and highest Devas are said to have a very long life, their unit of life is not years but eons."
Yuzuru nods at her words in understanding.
"Well, I suppose that is the end of the explanation, any questions?"
"Yes, just one. What the point of you saying all that? Are you a Buddhist?" Yuzuru asks.
"Well, don't be too hasty, I'm getting to that." Haruka calmly responds.
"And after I said all that, do you know the difference between gods in Buddhism and gods in other religions?"
"That is…" Yuzuru has to admit, he doesn't know anything, even after he listening to all that.
"…*sigh* I will just tell you the difference." Haruka waits for a while before sighs exasperatedly after confirming that Yuzuru do not know the answer.
"Unlike in other religions' belief, Gods in Buddhism are not omnipotent or omniscient, and they all still die in the end, however how long their lifetime is." The girl explains.
"I see!" Yuzuru exclaims
"Well, even gods still die. That goes well with one of the three marks of existence in Buddhism's belief: everything doesn't last forever, don't you think?" Haruka urged Yuzuru for a comment.
"What are the three marks of existence?" Yuzuru asks.
"Oh, I have to tell you about that first, huh?" She murmurs.
"Fine; the three marks of existence are Dukkha: There is suffering everywhere, Anatta: The lack of true self, and finally, Anicca: Everything comes to an end someday, or you could say nothing can last forever."
Yuzuru nods once to tell Haruka he is listening.
"I will not explain in details what the meanings of the terms are; they are quite difficult to understand. So for now, let omit it."
"Okay."
"Anyway, unlike gods in other religions which are omnipotent, omniscient or immortal -undying. Gods in Buddhism are just a kind of temporary beings that will be death someday."
"I see. So do you believe gods exist?" Yuzuru asks.
"No. Unfortunately I'm also an atheist."
"I see." As Yuzuru is about to ask her the next question, she continues.
"…Although, if I have to be honest, the concept that the gods do exist, but are not that powerful and will also die someday is not that unacceptable in my opinion as an atheist. It is just that they are other beings that exist beside humans and animals"
"So, are you a Buddhist?"
"No, I'm not. I am not in any religion unfortunately." She replies.
"…But If I have to choose a religion, Buddhism is not that bad…" She says as she looks down at a ground.
"I see." Yuzuru nods.
"Any other questions?" She looks up from the ground and asks Yuzuru.
"Yes, what is the point of you saying all that?" Yuzuru asks.
"Oh, I suppose I didn't tell you about that yet, right?"
She pauses for a moment before continue.
"About my dream… like Buddha who found the four noble truths, I also want to know the truth of life too. Although it may be a bit different from Buddha's purpose of escaping from suffering, I still want to know more about the truth of life. I can't just move on and forget all about this dream before that." Haruka says with determination in her eyes.
"It is a far-fetched thing, isn't it? My dream, that is…" Haruka concludes.
"And what is the meaning of that talk about realms?" Yuzuru continues.
"Oh, that, huh? I think it would be useful to you someday, so I decided to explain to you about it." She responds.
"And how would it be useful to me?" Yuzuru continues asking.
"Who knows? One day you might actually have a talk with a god. So knowing information about them from the belief in Buddhism should be helpful to you?"
"And how am I supposed to have a talk with a god?!" Yuzuru roars.
"Oh, don't play dumb. Don't think I didn't notice you were looking at an invisible thing on your left ring-finger. Although I don't know what it is, isn't that a supernatural thing? Since I can't see it, that is."
"!" Yuzuru goes silent in shocked.
'So she knows about it, huh?' Yuzuru thinks to himself.
"I will have you explain yourself and tell your story next time, but for now…" The girl pauses, "…I have a book to read." She says that and then indulges herself in the book once again.
Yuzuru watches her carefully as he thinks, 'There is more to this girl than meets the eye.'
Finally done writing this chapter!
As I said before, this story has a spiritual genre, so it would be kind of wrong if there are no philosophic beliefs involved in the story.
And since I am also a Buddhist, it would certainly be wrong if I didn't add my own belief into the story.
So how was it? Is it interesting, the philosophic talk about Buddhism?
By the way, for those thinking what the point of writing about the realms is and all that, I would answer that I have my purposes. It will be related later in the story.
A little spoiler: who knows, it may come in handy when Yuzuru or someone in the story finally has a chance to talk with gods ^^
And about gods… I believe it would be unreasonable if they do born but do not die. If that was really the case, there should be a lot of gods, and they will only be increasing in number since no gods are death. So Buddhism's concept of gods (Devas) goes well with my own belief.
Anyway, that is all.
Please read and review!