CHAPTER THIRTEEN: The shelter

Pansy Parkinson hated Theodore Nott the most.

When she was close enough, she pushed him with such force that he stumbled and would've fallen if he didn't catch the wall for support.

'You!' she hissed. 'You pathetic, two-faced, blameworthy hypocrite!'

Theo was looking at her in surprise, paralysed. He glanced at Blaise for support but found him merely staring him down with a poker face.

'How could you do that, Theo, how could you?!' she kept shouting. 'And to think, you knew all this time! Unbelievable!'

' – What?' asked Theo with a great effort to sound indifferent.

'You kept acting like... as if he didn't... and you didn't even... you should've stopped him! You're impossible! You didn't do anything, Theo, how could you not have done anything?'

'I –'

'And to think I thought you were just being trustworthy – I even regarded you as a friend!'

'Let me –'

'You were just – and to think that as a kid of Death Eater you would've known better and would've… But why didn't you do anything?!'

'Because he asked me to!' he bellowed, finally being able to break through.

'What?' she said with disbelief, her face only paler.

'You think you know better, huh, Parkinson? Don't act like you know how it is to be a Death Eater's child, because you don't.'

'I'm not, I'm saying that as one, you should've stopped him!'

'Oh, because it's so easy! Both you and Blaise and your pure-blood families who knew better than to get involved! You have no idea how it is!'

'Oh, please, do tell us,' jeered Pansy.

Theo's eyes became dark and distant, but he seemed to have calmed down. Parkinson, on the other hand, seemed to send strikes of lightning herself.

'Imagine having a father who killed countless people and – in addition – is particularly proud of it,' he said coolly, and Pansy frowned.

'And a father who doesn't care what'll happen to you because his priority is pleasing the Dark Lord,' he added.

Pansy regained her posture but was nonetheless less angry now.

'Let's go to our dormitory. Draco's stuck with Crabbe and Goyle, they'll be out for a while,' said Theo because they were still standing in the corridor, where they could've been easily overheard.

The other two followed Nott into the Common Room which, for some reason, was quite empty and they headed to the dormitories. Theodore shared a room with Blaise, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle, so they still needed to be careful in case they came back.

Their room was slightly different from hers but was also in Slytherin colours. Black bedding was contrasting with emerald-green walls and wooden wardrobes with silvery ornaments. Blaise sat on his bed while Pansy sat quietly next to Theo on his.

They were sitting in silence for a long while. Pansy desperately tried to remove any signs of crying, but the more she wiped her eyes, the redder they became. She gave up after a second.

'So...' started Blaise, visibly uncomfortable. 'Is it time for a bed-time story?'

'Read the room, mate,' Theo scolded him, trying to hide a small smile.

'I'm sorry,' said Pansy abruptly.

Both of them looked at her, startled.

'Wha – What?' mumbled Nott after a second.

'I'm not saying that again,' she crossed her arms.

'Well – thank you.'

Blaise looked at them as if they were both idiots.

'Didn't expect that.'

'Okay, so… I guess I just wanted to say it's not that easy…' started Theo.

'I want to understand,' said Pansy.

He just nodded.

'I'll try to explain.'

He was fidgeting for a while, clearly thinking about what to say.

'You know, when the Dark Lord first came to power, my father was his supporter for a while already. One of the earliest, actually. Fought in the first war, which you probably know. When my mum died, he… Uh… Well, it's hard to say he took care of me because he didn't. He didn't even care much about her death. And even though he didn't go looking for the Dark Lord after he'd been considered gone, he was still a rather… devoted follower. It wasn't so bad until He came back a few years ago. Haven't really seen dad since, he tries to make up for the lost time, so he kills mudbloods and muggles left and right, probably hoping he'll be in the inner-circle again. Not going to happen, if you ask me, but I suppose my point is, trying to compensate for anything to the Dark Lord is… complicated, to say the least. I'm honestly surprised Lucius Malfoy is still alive after what had happened in the Department of Mysteries. When I'd heard about it, I thought it was only a matter of time before he was found dead.'

'Why would anyone follow someone who can kill you for any mistake?' asked Pansy, but Theo just smiled indulgently.

'They strongly believe in him. Blindly. You know, that he'll free the world of muggles and that wizardkind will be ruling the world. He's their only chance at greatness. And, let's not forget, they made up their mind years ago, it doesn't matter what they think now. Getting out of this is suicide.'

Pansy closed her eyes as if this could help her wrap her head around all this.

'Sorry' continued Theo. 'The worst thing about it is how hard it is to stay assertive. Probably impossible. Okay so making Draco a Death Eater might seem like a choice but only on the outside. Can you imagine what would've happened if he'd said no? His father was already on thin ice, sitting in Azkaban. I can't imagine how he would've got out of this alive. From what I've heard, his mother has put up some resistance, but she couldn't do much. It was eat or get eaten. Or in this case, kill or get killed.'

'The Unbreakable Vow...' recalled Pansy.

'What?' asked Theo, confused.

'His mother made Snape promise he'd help him. Or, something like that. He made the Unbreakable Vow. She's done everything she could.'

There was a moment of thick silence in the room.

'So I didn't do anything, because at this point nothing can really help him,' admitted Theo with sadness in his voice. 'I suppose he could try to appeal to the Order, but I doubt they'd help someone like him, especially since he wouldn't fight for them.'

'And his parents,' added Blaise.

'Yeah, that's a tough one. Even if Draco could get out of this, I doubt they would want help… I suppose Narcissa would, in the end, she's rather rational and cares for Draco more than anything, but Lucius… Even if he knew it'd better for him, he's in too deep now. He'd be signing his own execution. Although, if he was any less self-absorbed, he could do this for the other two.'

'Well, not everyone can sacrifice it all for someone,' noted Blaise.

'I guess. But it's family. And I reckon he'd do that if he wasn't so stubborn. He still believes they're gonna win. And if they do, well, then it's better for Draco to be where he is now,' sighed Theo.

'Why is it so unfair?' asked Pansy, hiding face in her palms.

'Nothing's fair. Life's not fair. But since we can't do anything about it, there's nothing to whine about,' noticed Theo, looking at their sad faces. 'We can only hope that stinking Potter will save the world, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows again.'

Pansy groaned.

'Save me, I don't think I'd survive if he became the hero for the second time.'

'Whichever side wins, we'll be the bad guys for not choosing the side. But let's be honest, sunshine and rainbows side will be more forgiving,' admitted Blaise thoughtfully.

'I agree,' nodded Theo. 'Look, I know it's hard, but I think the best thing to do is to go into hiding for now.'

'You mean… after the year's over?' asked Pansy.

'No, if we do that, then we're the runaways and if the Dark Lord wins – he'd say we don't share his beliefs, and we still need this argument to be valid in case he does. So we can't show we're afraid. I'm thinking about finding the place during the holidays and go into hiding when it starts.'

'How do we know it started?' asked Blaise sceptically.

'I suppose there'll be a battle here.'

'At Hogwarts?' asked Pansy, surprised.

'I guess. If Draco… If Dumbledore is killed, either the Dark Lord comes here to take over and… Excuse me for being sceptical, but I can't see McGonagall or Potter and his band just let it happen… Or, there's a possibility he lets Snape become the headmaster, and he comes here when he's already taken over the rest of the wizarding world.'

'That's… well-thought-out. And logical,' admitted Blaise with something that resembled admiration.

'I'm known for that, thanks.'

'Well, that's all very depressing,' sighed Pansy. 'Can we… Okay, don't use it against me later on. I know you will, but at least try, won't you? Can we maybe, possibly find a place to hide together?'

Theo and Blaise shared surprised looks.

'Of course,' agreed Nott finally. 'We can do it over summer. And when the time is right, we'll go there, I guess. I suppose if the battle takes place here, we'll be able to leave either way. What about your parents?'

Blaise snorted.

'What, you mean my supposed mother and who? Her eleventh husband? I think I've lost count. I don't care what she does. She's probably already out of the country, looking for her next husband and his money. I don't know.'

Pansy gave him a sympathetic look, but Theo just nodded.

'Pansy?' asked Nott.

'Well… I don't know yet. I have to find out what they think about it. During Christmas, they were talking about it a lot, but I'm not sure if they won't just stay put.'

'All right, then.'

'What about Draco, though?' she asked, trying to hide the pain in her voice.

Silence hanged between them, as everyone considered this inconvenient question.

'We can try, but –' started Theo finally.

'Yeah, I thought so,' she said in a strangled voice.

'We will try.'

'Okay. We should tell him, though, right? That we know?'

Theo nodded reluctantly.

'I suppose. But he's a drama queen, so I can't tell you how he'll react. You know, he can either get all McGonagall-on-Umbridge or Snape-on-Potter… So, you know, constant vigilance.'

Blaise and Pansy chuckled appreciatively. It would've been funnier if they didn't hear three pairs of footsteps going upstairs to their room. Pansy Parkinson felt heart hammering in her chest so fast, she could swear it would explode any second.