CHAPTER FOURTEEN: The task

Pansy Parkinson hated feeling scared, she hated it even more than people. And she was scared all the time lately. She heard footsteps, which were surely Draco's, Crabbe's and Goyle's. She wasn't ready to have this conversation, and yet Draco was bound to lose it once he sees all three of them together, with serious looks on their faces. He'd know. She started to tremble but luckily managed to hide it successfully by sticking nails into her palms.

The door slowly opened, and Pansy could swear all three of them held their breath at this moment.

Draco appeared at the entrance but looked so devastated and tired that it took him a while to notice them. When he did, however, he looked around the room, frowning. His eyes fixed on Theo.

'What the hell, Nott?' he asked furiously.

'We were just chatting,' replied Theodore confidently.

'About?'

'Bezoar,' said Blaise with an expressionless face. 'Have you heard about Weasel?'

Draco didn't even look in his direction, ignoring him completely.

'That's likely,' he sneered. 'You told them, Nott, didn't you? Even though –'

'I didn't,' stated Theo calmly.

'Well, I don't believe you –'

'That's a shame, then. It seems like not only do you underestimate them but also me.'

'I trusted you!' bellowed Draco, pointing his finger at him. Crabbe and Goyle slowly backed out to sit on the bed to avoid Malfoy's fury.

'And there is no situation whatsoever under which I would've broken your trust.'

'Stop being so bloody eloquent!'

'He really didn't tell us, Draco,' whispered Pansy hesitantly.

'What're you discussing here, then?' he asked aggressively.

'We… did find out, though,' risked Pansy, watching Draco getting paler and paler by the second. He took a step back as though he wanted to run, but he stood rooted to the spot and just shot daggers at them.

'I told you to stay away from this!' he burst out finally. 'I told you a million times!'

He stormed out, leaving them petrified.

'I'll… just go after him,' said Pansy hesitantly and ran out of the room. She caught up with him at the end of the corridor.

'What are you doing?' he asked angrily.

'What are you doing? You didn't tell us, all right, but we found out either way, not your fault, so would you please just talk to us –'

'I'm not talking to you,' he said, disgusted.

'Of course you're not,' she jeered. 'That would've hurt your ego, wouldn't it, you'd feel less special –'

'Why are you doing this again?' he asked furiously, ruffling his hair.

'Because I don't know how else I should make you see that we are not your enemies! For Merlin's sake, Draco, we're just trying to help you!'

'I don't want your help!'

She rolled her eyes and raised arms in defeat.

'Oh, my, God. You're so stubborn! It's not like we are going to use it against you and you should know better Draco. We don't have to discuss it thoroughly, we just want to talk –'

'What for?' he asked aggressively.

'To help you! Can't you see what's going on with you?' she said, risking a step forward. 'Look, I know you're horrible at getting people to know you – the real you – but we already do. I'm not asking you to confide in us completely, I'm just asking you to talk to us so you'd feel better. About… whatever. Just don't shut us out again.'

'Shutting you out was the easiest way to get on with the task,' he said quietly.

'I know,' she replied, brushing the hair away from his eyes. 'But it doesn't have to be that way. We're there for you, and I'm there for you –'

He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her closer. She looked up at him in surprise.

'What are you –'

He cut her off with a kiss, but this time it didn't feel like he was just caught up in the moment. This time, he seemed very much aware of what he was doing. It was tender and affectionate, which utterly confused her.

'You're right,' he said after he slowly pulled away after a moment. 'I can… try. Let's go.'

He went back to the room, and Pansy followed him, barely being able to stand and absolutely bewildered. When they went inside the room, Crabbe and Goyle looked at him curiously. They didn't know his secret but still helped him in whatever he was doing. Unfortunately, Draco noticed their gaze.

'Out,' he ordered them, pointing behind him. Crabbe and Goyle listened to him reluctantly but didn't stop themselves from shaking their heads in disbelief.

'That's well-handled. Except, you know, horrible,' said Theo, smiling uncomfortably.

'I'm not saying anything to them,' responded Draco coolly. 'They do what I say, without asking questions and I intend to keep it that way. I have no control over what they say to other people. The less they know, the better.'

Blaise and Theo cleared their throats awkwardly.

'...Do you maybe have firewhisky stashed somewhere? Not sure if I can handle this sober,' said Pansy, after a long silence. She didn't mean just the conversation they were about to have, but both Theo and Blaise didn't have to know that.

'Asking Blaise if he has firewhisky is like asking Lockhart to stop talking about himself,' noticed Theo with a hint of a smile. 'Also, when you propose firewhisky to Blaise he makes almost the same face that Lockhart does when you ask him for an autograph.'

'That, he does,' said Blaise happily as he rummaged through his wardrobe, pulling out two bottles with a golden beverage.

'I'm not discussing anything with you while drunk,' muttered Draco grumpily.

'Let's just think of it as a friends' gathering,' replied Blaise, pouring him a full glass, which he accepted grudgingly.

'Still. Whatever I could tell you, you already know.'

'Well, discuss it with us,' suggested Pansy, taking her drink.

'I just said I'm not –'

'Oh, would you stop,' Theo chopped him off. 'It's not the end of the world, you know. It will not fall apart once you talk to us.'

'That's what Pansy said,' he admitted, exasperated.

'I suppose it means we're right, then,' said Nott with a grin. 'Now, come on. Those two attempts just showed that you don't have any sufficient plan.'

Draco glared at him dangerously.

'I have a plan!' he bellowed. 'Just because I'm not sharing it with anyone...'

'What did you curse Bell for, then?' asked Blaise.

'It's taking longer than I expected, all right? I had to think of a plan B!'

'But why the rush, Draco?' asked Pansy. 'If you know it's a good plan, then why not wait –'

'Because. I – er – I'm not one hundred percent sure it will work, okay? I told Snape otherwise, hoping he'd piss off eventually, but…' Draco sighed, visibly calmer now. 'Well, he didn't.'

'Why don't you just let him help him?' asked Pansy desperately. 'He'd help you.'

Draco sneered, 'Right. He would, to constantly undermine me and eventually take –'

'Your glory?' said Pansy so coldly, that she could almost feel Theo shiver next to her.

'That's not what I –'

'That's exactly what you meant,' she interrupted. 'Do tell me, Draco, what exactly will be your glory? Killing our Headmaster or recognition in the army of the killers?'

Blaise kept shooting her warning looks, but she ignored him. Draco hid face in his hands and sighed heavily.

'It has to be this way, okay? If I tell myself –'

'But you don't. You actually believe that,' she said with a disappointment in her voice.

'Not… entirely,' he admitted. 'It's complicated.'

'Killing is complicated, you say?'

'Okay, I think we can all agree on the fact that killing is not good. But then, there are some circumstances which we can't change or do anything about them,' explained Theo hurriedly and Draco glanced at him gratefully.

'Well, I don't think so –'

'Pansy,' hissed Theo. 'We just got him back.'

She reluctantly stayed quiet and downed her glass.

'It's okay,' said Draco finally. 'Let's hear those questions.'

After a moment of silence, Blaise decided to go first.

'That Bell girl was Imperiused, wasn't she? But do you really think Dumbledore would've just opened and taken the necklace –'

'No,' he confessed. 'I don't. But I got the impossible mission, didn't I? Dumbledore, whatever his beliefs are, is one of the greatest wizards of our time and I just didn't know what to do, I panicked after my… main plan was on the verge of failing.'

'But Slughorn wasn't Imperiused, was he? He was supposed to give the mead to Dumbledore as a… a present?' continued Blaise.

Draco nodded.

'But Slughorn isn't very generous, is he? And I don't think Dumbledore would've fallen for that, either. He must've had –'

'I know that, too. It was… Well, it took longer and longer, and I was afraid I'd fail again.'

'But, what I don't understand is – why didn't you think this through? I mean, you're not exactly… impulsive,' noticed Pansy hesitantly.

'I guess I... I panicked. And well... you know. Failure is my boggart,' he stammered, averting their gaze.

'You have to succeed, though' whispered Theo gloomily.

'Yes,' he sighed. 'Or otherwise, me trying to save my parents or even just wanting to be – er – better, will fall to pieces.'

'So are you really doing it for your parents?' asked Blaise.

'I don't really have a choice, do I? It was supposed to be punishment for my father, but in the beginning, I took it happily. I was kind of oblivious, thinking I could do it. Now I'm questioning… basically, everything.'

'It's rather normal, I'd say,' said Theo, looking out of the window where it started raining terribly. 'It suddenly appears that your father was not right about everything.'

Draco nodded, 'Yeah, and it's not the worst. I think he's having a breakdown himself. Definitely, not helping.'

'Lucius Malfoy, a breakdown?' sneered Blaise, but Draco just glared at him.

'Afraid so. After his last failure, he might've seen that it's not exactly… easy to work for the Dark Lord. And now sitting in Azkaban – not a perfect place.'

'That's too depressive, just pour me more firewhisky,' demanded Theo, ignoring the furious look Draco shot him.

Pansy Parkinson had to agree, she's had enough as well, so she gave Nott her empty glass.