Undertones
By: WhisperedSilvers
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I know I be difficult
You know I be difficult
You know it get difficult too
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Arc Two:
stepping into the light
"This is the best," Rukia sighed into her sheets and rolled over her futon to look at Renji square in the eye, "I don't think I've felt this good in years."
"That's kind of sad," Renji snorted, he lifted his knee to rest underneath his chin and continued, "It takes Ichigo and a quick stab of his zanpakuto to put you into higher spirits? Lame."
She rolled her eyes, sitting up quickly – the world spun for just a few moments – and frowned, "It's my spiritual pressure, Renji. It's overflowing."
Rukia glanced down at her hands. Her energy was positively contagious, it was like she was bouncing—kind of hyperactive if she had to compare it to something. Like she was on a very, very long sugar rush and she didn't crash – at least not yet. After a somewhat long nap, she felt whole again, more alert, more aware and her redheaded baboon was just ruining the moment for her. It wasn't often, that she got the luxury of rolling around in bed, staying in, just relaxing – without worry, without a care in the world and just be.
It was a human thing, she had realized sometime later.
That didn't mean she couldn't indulge.
"I know, you're practically jumping," he shook his head, "How long are you going to stay in bed?"
"An hour or more maybe," Rukia replied thoughtfully, then she looked at him, "Why?"
Renji whined, "Because I'm bored."
She sighed long and hard, "Doesn't Nii-sama, have something—anything, for you to do?"
"Captain is in a meeting right now," he responded with a twitch of his eyebrows, "Ichigo's sudden arrival caused a lot of speculation, especially since he lost his powers," dropping his head to rest against the wall with a soft thump, he continued, "There's a lot of post-battle stuff that has to be handled, starting with reconstruction and all that fun stuff."
Rukia grimaced.
"Yeah, keep making that face," Renji twisted his lips, "You're going to end up looking like Head-Captain Yamamoto."
She scowled.
"Much better."
Rukia huffed, shoving her sheets off of her, she stood up and fixed her messy bob with her fingers, standing up she slipped on her sandals and demanded, "Happy?"
Renji bobbed his head, "Yep. C'mon, you need some food. Then I'm gonna kick your ass."
She glared, "As if."
After five pork buns, three riceballs, and two cups of iced tea, Rukia felt relatively normal. It was strange because she couldn't remember how it felt to be unbalanced, even with her reiatsu shredded—everything felt like a really, really weird dream.
"How do you eat so much?" Renji asked more to himself than to her and he wasn't really expecting an answer, but he got one anyway.
"The same way you swallowed those soup dumplings the other day,"
"They were good!" he answered hotly.
Rukia rolled her eyes.
Surveying the destruction of Koga Kuchiki's hands, got a lot more depressing as the day went on. There was going to be a lot of reconstruction, not just from the soul reapers, but from the civilians as well. Part of the blame fell on her, that was the one thing she couldn't disappear from. She, the troublemaking Kuchiki, who's soul was too pure for the world, who was the perfect host for the hogyoku, who's deranged uncle wanted that one, pesky, annoying shard that was tangled in her soul ribbons.
It's like she can't do anything without having some type of trouble following her.
"Do you have any news on what happened with…my uncle?" Rukia asked, her tone dropping into a dry drawl at the end of her question.
"Last I heard," Renji started, he scratched the underneath of his chin and walked beside her, "He disappeared into Hueco Mundo."
She nodded, "Somehow, I'm not surprised."
"What? So you could've predicted that he was going to, I don't know, fall back into Hueco Mundo?" Renji questioned her in disbelief.
"A man with a grudge, for that long, with this much planning involved, do you really think he would lay down and die so easily?" Rukia pointed out and then frowned. Amethyst orbs flickered over to a demolished stall on the western side of the capital, "He has something else planned. I don't know, but I have a feeling that this is a bit more complicated."
"You've been hanging around Ichigo way too long," he snorted.
"Give me a break, I haven't seen the midget in over the year," Ichigo appeared, quite literally, out of thin air. His reishi seemed to vibrate from his very being, orange hair marigold in the light, he rested his weight in his hips and turned to look at the duo with a strong, steady smile, "Hey, man."
Renji punched him in the shoulder – as if he wasn't damn happy to see the substitute – scowling, he crossed his arms and huffed, "Hey man? You drop into the capital unannounced, save the day – but let's exclude the fact that I haven't seen you in years – disappear, and then, have the nerve to say hey man?"
Rukia snorted despite herself, "Is this what Karin calls a bromance?"
Ichigo scoffed, slugged Renji in his stomach and nodded, "Of course."
Renji made an odd sound, a sound that sounded vaguely like choking and a sharp shrill.
Rukia couldn't help but smile at the nostalgia of it all. The bickering mostly, both redheads were hot-headed and slightly maniacal in terms of reiatsu, but they meant well. She glanced over at the capital and wondered where her brother was or Hitsugaya for that matter. It was somewhat…strange that he didn't visit her as soon as her reiatsu bounced back to normal, not that she really needed him to visit her.
Hinamori was clearly important, she nodded to herself thoughtfully. She was, after all, in a coma. Despite, the awkwardness – it would never be the same – of their relationship, and the increasing uncomfortableness of their positions in the capital, it didn't seem like smooth sailing.
There were some bridges, that were never meant to be mended.
"Rukia," Ichigo's voice shook her out of her thoughts, topaz glimmered with something other than curiosity, "You okay?"
Rukia blinked, "I'm fine—wait, where did Renji go?"
He raised his brows, "A butterfly told him that Byakuya called him."
She stared, "Oh."
"Are you okay?" Ichigo sounded concerned, he placed a warm hand on her head, knuckles brushing along her temple until he found her forehead, "You're acting weird."
Rukia's eyebrow twitched and jabbed an elbow into his gut. Gritting her teeth in annoyance and partially in glee at the sound of his sharp gasp, "The only one who's acting weird is you."
"Oh yeah," Ichigo huffed and grabbed his stomach, wincing at the bruise, "You're back to normal, alright."
"C'mon," grabbing him by the v of his top, she pulled him downwards, and marched on, "We have a lot to do."
"We do?" he sounded out of breath and yanked himself free, "Dammit Rukia! You're choking me!"
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Rukia smiled sharply, "We're going to the reishi fall."
A pause, "What?"
She sighed.
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When you're ready, just say you're ready
When all the baggage just ain't as heavy
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"—then Karin was getting all pissy now that she's sixteen. She said that Jinta is only rough like that to show that he cares. I almost threw up right then and there. I thank God that Yuzu is the only sane one in the family, besides me of course, Dad is you know, still insane," Ichigo relayed on the grass below the willow tree, his fingers threading in the blades of grass.
"It's going to start getting worse when they start having sex, Ichigo," Rukia snorted beside him, her head above his, body in the opposite direction and she counted the thin branches above her.
He spluttered, "Why—Why? Why would you say that? Are you trying to hurt me?"
She grinned, "Why? Is it working?"
Ichigo rolled his eyes, "I don't want to think about my sisters doing that for a very…long time," he thought about it and shuddered, "Preferably when I'm dead."
She smirked, "I doubt it. if Jinta is as rowdy as he is now…"
"Goddamit Rukia!" he yelled, slapping his face with his palm just at the mental thought.
Rukia snickered softly, "Just think of Yuzu!"
Ichigo, apparently, was not having it. He grabbed her wrist with one hand and the other with his other hand—just as he was about to toss her into the Kobaruto no Toki, she used the weight of her body to flip over, switching her footwork with shunpo, she slammed the small balls of her feet into his chest and pushed him into the water.
Beads of water permeated the air, not just from the waterfall, but from the sputtering and aggressive movements of the redhead floating awkwardly in the water, and he stared at her flummoxed.
It was a testament to her will and strength, to not obnoxiously laugh at Ichigo and his dumbfounded expression, but more so, his hair, that was drooping like a dejected strawberry over his forehead and eyes.
But the current that slammed into Ichigo's leg that had him tumbling over sideways did it for her.
Rukia laughed loud and jovial at Ichigo's face, it felt like a weight fell off her shoulders, and the air was sweet and good—like nothing bad had happened and just everything felt good again.
"It wasn't that funny," he grumbled resting his head against the edge of the ground, but he smiled at the look of happiness on her face nonetheless.
Rukia took a chance and sat on the edge of the fall, the water reaching up to her knees. Chuckles still racking her body, "You should've seen your face," she inhaled, and looked at him, "Anyway, tell me how it is that you're here?"
Ichigo shook the water out of his hair and rested his chin against his forearms, "Well, it's kind of a long story, but the gist of it was that Kisuke created a zanpakuto infused with reishi and just stabbed me with it," he shrugged, "Apparently, it took a while to put that much spiritual pressure in the zanpakuto because my reserves were so deep," he sighed, "Then, well Kisuke got word from Jushiro about what was going on since the first attack, he monitored the situation and then sent me here when he got word of the invasion. The zanpakuto I stabbed you with had an anti-wavelength."
Rukia stared and repeated slowly, "An…anti-wavelength?"
"It's kinda hard to explain," Ichigo said, "Your reiatsu and reiryoku was unstable, you can gain reishi but like, you couldn't use so it made your body kind of just felt wonky."
"Wonky?" she frowned.
He sighed, "Just go with it Rukia."
She looked exasperated.
"Anyway, the zanpakuto stabilized you and negated all the hogyoku's previous…remains," Ichigo said that last word with such malice that she very, nearly flinched.
"So, after I pushed the zanpakuto in, well," he pointed at her, "You feel good, then?"
Rukia exhaled softly, amethyst touched snow, and she replied honestly, "I haven't felt this good in a while."
Ichigo's face softened at that, clearing his throat he asked, "Anyway, how has things…been?"
She shrugged, "Not really much has changed here compared to The World of the Living," she wrinkled her nose, "I've been nominated to take my Lieutenant's exam. Captain Hitsugaya has…vouched for me."
"That's good," he said casually.
Rukia glared at him for his insensitivity and demanded, "What? No congratulations or wow, Rukia that's amazing! I know your dad taught you manners, Ichigo."
Ichigo glowered at her and sarcasm dripped from every word, "Congratulations Rukia, you're being appointed to a position that you're overqualified for."
And maybe it wasn't the way he said it, but the way he looked at her when he said it.
Overqualified.
Annoyed with herself and a little bit at Ichigo, she pulled her foot back and shoved it into his shoulder. However, as soon as the arch of her foot touched on his shoulder bone, Ichigo grabbed the small of her ankle and yanked her in the water with him.
Rukia gasped as bubbles swarmed her sight, her lungs squeezed and she bit the inside of her cheek at the sharpness of the cold water, she coughed, "What the hell, Ichigo!"
"We're even now,"
"How are we even?"
"You shoved me in first!"
"You grabbed me first!"
The duo bickered back and forth, taking turns ducking each under the water and Rukia took her time using kido. Snapping blue flares and fire at Ichigo who kept dodging obnoxiously while maintaining his position – quite beautifully if Rukia was being honest – and tumbling over the surface of the water.
A good three hundred feet away, another pair of shinigami watched the soul reaper and the human, childishly, naturally bond while they rested on a tree branch.
"Ichigo always did bring the best out in her," Rangiku mused aloud, laying against the trunk of the evergreen.
Hitsugaya who sat on the branch with his knee tucked underneath the backs of his thighs watched the scene with narrowed eyes and frown marring his plush pink lips. It was almost intimate, the way Rukia looked at Ichigo and the way she acted around him.
It was real.
She never looked at me like that…
Hitsugaya wasn't at an impasse, but he felt like everything he did wasn't good enough. Part of him was surprised, the quite type of surprise that sprouted up his forearms like vines and spiderwebs then would rest beneath the surface; both irritating and unsettling.
Rukia had a glass wall that encased her. A glass wall that was clear on one side and murky on the other and anything he did, he would not, could not, shatter that case.
Things started to change—everything started to change.
At first, he was not so very keen on starting anything with her—anything other than a strong friendship. Part of this – he grimaced here – this insecurity was solely based on his own musings and the fact that he wasn't exactly sure if he would be able to give her everything. And when he said everything, he meant everything. His attention, his devotion, his protection, his presence, his adoration—him. Most of these creeping, black thoughts came from her history.
What did she need?
What could he offer her?
What did she want?
There was a certain type of kinship between the two of them, not just because of their icy nature, but a certain type of melancholy, of desire, of happiness that they shared; the same bleak, numbing pale-willow of snow that washed over them in settlement.
Was he willing to risk it?
Their friendship for the possibility of something…intimate?
No.
If you had asked them this a few weeks ago, his answer would've remained the same, because, for Hitsugaya, he did nothing by halves. If he was going to do something, he would do it and do it to the best of his ability; if it was the latter, he wouldn't even attempt to begin whatever it was.
Because he didn't want her to regret their relationship, he didn't want to regret their relationship when it did end, but there was one aspect he overlooked.
What if it didn't end?
Hitsugaya's jaw clenched as he looked at Rukia throw a fist at Ichigo's head, water splattering over her exposed elbows and catching the edges of dark strands.
That was something he and Rukia always did, he realized.
They were always looking for something to go wrong.
Now, after catching a glimpse from those blasted Menos, the pure, unadulterated sight of Rukia with their child, looking at him with those lilac-colored orbs of her's smiling like he is it, it made something inside his chest ache. The feelings that simmered to his throat, that swallowed him like a rising tide, that curled in his chest like a lick of fire, that enticed Hyorinmaru to grumble and seep beneath his fingers in peace.
There was no trace of doubt in his mind.
His reiatsu crackled.
Teal orbs blazed with a white fire.
Rukia was his.
Something fluttered in the background, white light, a crackling wind, and gentle pressure. It rummaged the reishi in the atmosphere and heat flickered over the sun. It was a cold warmth, one that seeped into your bones, but never settled.
"Toushiro?" Ichigo blinked, the fine hair at the back of his neck raised in warning and the air tasted faintly of snow.
Rukia stared at him, furrowed her brows and accused, "You've gotten better at kido,"
He rolled his eyes, "Isn't that part of reiatsu-sensing?"
Her lips thinned. In theory, reiatsu tracking was kido based, however, kido techniques went along the lines of hado and bakudo. The correct terminology was reiryoku-sensing, not reiatsu-sensing. Logically, sensing was much simpler than concealing. Having a higher spiritual pressure meant that it was easier to sense shinigami because of their wavelength, but that took time and training.
Captain Hitsugaya and Lieutenant Matsumoto materialized in front of the duo, reiatsu like a mask of wet air coating the back of her throat as she inhaled.
Rangiku settled on the back of her heels, smiling as she asked warmly, "Well, don't you two look cozy?"
Ichigo rolled his eyes, he replied dryly, "More like soaked,"
Steel blue eyes glittered.
"Rukia," Hitsugaya started, her name leaving his mouth with a thrill, and crouched low, "Should you be up and about so soon?"
Rukia blinked in surprise at his question, the awkwardness that she had expected wasn't there, instead, there was something that resembled bashfulness coming from her, she cleared her throat, "I'm fine. Captain Unohana cleared me two days ago."
"You didn't come to the barracks," he pointed out with raised snowy brows.
"Nii-sama wanted me to stay home," she shrugged and shook her head, drops of water ran down the sides of her cheeks and jaw, "He thinks I've had enough excitement for the week."
Hitsugaya almost smiled, "That's one thing me and your brother actually agree on," his fingers ran down the sides of her jawline, swiping over the streams of water, silk on heat, teal on lavender, and ice in snow, he said quietly, "You should take it easy."
Matsumoto's steel-blue eyes widened at her Captain's actions. Her fingers loose at her hips and her mouth parted at the gentleness in his actions. Ichigo's eyebrows raised, his neck tense at the sight before him, but he made no move to comment. Instead, he flickered topaz orbs to the dragon-bearing zanpakuto.
Captain Hitsugaya paid no mind.
Rukia stared hard at him, part of her in disbelief, because while Hitsugaya had a history of manhandling her, he was never so up-close and personal with her, and never once handled her with such achingly soft, gentleness.
But moreover, he was using her name – which although wasn't the first time – but the first time with such close company and that made everything a lot more intimate than she would have liked.
Hitsugaya never did anything without purpose, so when his fingers brushed over her lips and invaded her personal space—Rukia felt something inside, something inside of her shake.
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All so convinced that you're following your heart
Cause your mind don't control what it does sometimes
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Rukia stared at her plate with disdain. Her fingers fisted in her kimono at her thighs, glaring at her salmon with a vengeance that she didn't know she had in her, as she tried to make sense of the situation; which sounded easier than done.
Hitsugaya and Ichigo had joined her Nii-sama and her family dinner.
Bizarre was a word that just didn't cut it.
Hell, even Renji, who was used to running patrols and security during this time sat next to her on her left.
She wanted to disappear.
"Rukia," Byakuya started, glancing at her from his right, he placed his chopsticks on the table, "Is the salmon not to your standards?"
She almost flinched and replied weakly, "Ah, it's not that, Nii-sama,"
He patiently asked, "Are you not well?"
To be honest, she felt queasy the entire meal, Hitsugaya who watched her from the corner of his eye, looked up, a hand on his rice bowl, and the other holding his chopsticks.
She swallowed and grimaced, "I seemed to not have much of an appetite,"
Byakuya nodded, "Captain Unohana had said the medicine would upset your stomach. Drink your soup and sleep early."
Unbeknown to Byakuya, Rukia had actually stopped taking her medication. It made her brain fuzzy, while it did help with the healing process of settling reiryoku and reiatsu – since it was practically bouncing off the walls – she felt herself wandering and out of touch.
She glanced at her miso soup and picked up her spoon. She could always vomit after hours if things got awkward or Renji would help her escape.
"I thought you stopped your medication?" Ichigo wondered out loud.
Byakuya's gray eyes sharpened.
She cursed Ichigo and his big, fat mouth.
She couldn't even kick him because of the traditional table.
Glaring at the orange-capped fool, she picked up her rice with her chopsticks and replied smoothly, "I'm not taking as much as I used to."
A lie.
A pretty lie, nonetheless.
And it didn't have to be a lie if she took it before she went to bed.
Ichigo winced at the ice in her eyes and apologized by pouring her more tea.
"You said Captain Unohana cleared you, Rukia," Hitsugaya interjected their silent conversation, chopsticks twirling in his udon, "Did she prescribe you more medication?"
"No," Rukia answered slowly, "She said to use the remainder of what I had."
Byakuya made a noise of approval, "You seem to be healing well, I'll send for Captain Unohana in the morning."
Rukia nodded politely and returned to her miso soup; she wished she had some gyoza to stab.
"Captain," Renji addressed Byakuya and reported, "Head-Captain Yamamoto finished relaying assignments to all squads as well as the unseated officers."
Rukia tensed minutely.
Hitsugaya's eyes sharpened and he twisted so his torso was proportional to the little Kuchiki.
"And?" he pressed with disinterest.
The redhead twitched under the scrutiny of his Captain and Captain Hitsugaya. He didn't exactly know how to word this properly, so he settled for the one way he knew wouldn't get him killed, clearing his throat he spoke: "Head-Captain Yamamoto is calling a meeting at dawn tomorrow to discuss the assignments and relocations of shinigami."
Hitsugaya stilled, "Relocation?"
Something inside Rukia leaped, locking eyes with Ichigo, she mouthed, "Relocation?"
It sounded like, considering the circumstances of the zenpo, that shinigami where being dispatched to the World of the Living to strengthen their forces in case another army came around. But from what Yumichika and Ikkaku had told her – from the brief run-ins they've had since they started assignments together – there have been no reports of zenpo appearing in the human world.
Assuming that, since Kōga was able to swipe in and out of kumons into Hueco Mundo, it would be just as easy to open a portal into the World of the Living. There had to be the possibility that the next army if there will be another army, might be in the human world. Head-Captain Yamamoto was not only cautious of such a possibility but pissed that this was a probability.
Renji began to flush underneath the new sets of eyes, he scratched the back of his neck and continued, "New patrols and rotations is my best guest,"
Rukia grimaced, but couldn't comment on his statement otherwise. The dinner passed surprisingly, civilized, she was sure that Ichigo or Hitsugaya would've said something that would've inadvertently provoked her brother, yet, there was something strange going in.
Ichigo refrained from baiting Byakuya, she thought that perhaps it was because there were shinigami posted outside the estate or that maybe, he felt sorry for him because his little sister was constantly getting into trouble.
Hitsugaya seemed content with his blatant ogling.
A hysterical giggle bubbled in her chest cavity at the ridiculousness of her fleeting thought. Ogling. That was beneath him. She couldn't help but feel like something had changed, they were okay—they weren't fighting or anything, but there was still some tension – as Renji had eloquently put it – lingering. Her lips still tingled from the waterfall, his fingertips that brushed over her lower lip, the calloused fingertip and his aqua colored eyes radiating intent.
A shiver ran up her spine.
She didn't know how she convinced her brother to order her a futon, but that doesn't mean she's not going to take advantage of her fluffy, pillow-y cloud of a bed that rested on her tatami mat just opposite of her closet. Sometimes, there were days, where she wanted to lay in her bed, cocooned in her sheets and just hide from the world.
Rukia wasn't sure what god she pissed off in her previous life, but she would really like it if they set their eyes on someone other than her for a while.
Next, to the steaming pot of jasmine tea, that sat on a small wooden stool next to her futon, lay her medicine, herbs that should be stirred into hot water and drunk before nightfall. Rukia hadn't the need to take them, so she shoved the small parchment paper underneath her futon, and let it set while she stared at the ceiling.
"You know," Hitsugaya's voice vibrated, bouncing off the walls of her room, he materialized right next to her open window and leaned against the sill, tilting his head, teal orbs observed her, "I could tell your brother that you're refusing to take your medication."
"And I could tell Nii-sama, that you're sneaking into his sister's bedroom at night," Rukia replied nonplussed, but her stomach was twisting because what the fuck—there was protocol and then there was protocol.
And protocol, did not demand that any Captain – man or woman – show up, unannounced and unguarded in a noble's compound.
Especially the younger sister of Kuchiki Byakuya.
Because according to Renji, it was just plain suicide.
"You seem to have a point," Hitsugaya agreed, resting his zanpakuto against the windowsill, he walked a few steps closer to the futon, his tone took a turn to that of arrogance, "But you seem to have overlooked something."
Rukia lifted her chin, unafraid, "And what did I miss?"
Hitsugaya leaned in, so suddenly, so closely over her that a few pieces, of stubborn snowy strands, brushed over her eyelashes, and if she even blinked, she was sure that the movement would've caused their noses to brush. He murmured across her face, eyes nearly neon, "That I'm not afraid of your brother,"
She was having a hard time deciding if, at all, that this was the most appropriate time to breathe, she fisted her hand at the ends of her shirt and furrowed her brows, "I remember."
He leaned back and frowned, "Good."
Rukia sat meditative style, resting her weight from her knees at the inside of her ankles, pillows surrounding her, and her back flat against the wall. She licked her lips, "What are you doing here?"
In a bold move, an uncharacteristically strange move – she was sure she dreamed the whole thing – Hitsugaya shrugged off his captain's haori and crawled towards her, on her sheets.
Rukia stiffened, ice slipping, snow melting and repeated her question incredulously, "What are you doing?!"
"Checking up on you," he said casually.
"You don't have to crawl onto my bed!" a pause, "Actually, you don't have to be anywhere near my bed, at all!"
"This isn't really a bed, Rukia."
"I sleep here!"
"Obviously," Hitsugaya snorted, his lower back pressed into the pillows, head leaning against the wall as he sat next to her, skin untouched, but heat mingling, "How are you feeling?"
Honestly, Rukia was starting to get whiplash, not that she would admit that aloud anyway, instead, she pulled her knees to her chest and blew a few strands of hair that tickled her nose, "Fine—I've been fine."
"Then why aren't you taking your medication?" he accused.
It was the same fucking question; asked over and over again.
"I don't need them," she answered and then pressed, "Really."
Hitsugaya wasn't sure if he believed her.
Certain circumstances, to put it lightly, have caused Rukia to really look at the situation, not solely from her perspective, but from a bigger picture. In other words: what the hell was Hitsugaya up to? She was tired of it. This dancing and this game. Hitsugaya made it very clear, that he wanted nothing but friendship with her, and sneaking into unsuspecting innocent girl's room was pushing it.
Rukia's shoulders dropped and she inhaled deeply, "What are you doing?" she glanced over at him, eyes lavender, "No, really. What are you doing? Why are you in my room, checking up on me?"
Part of her, the rational part of her, didn't really know what she was saying, because her words sounded like rambling and well, she was rambling.
"Because you're important to me," Hitsugaya replied bluntly.
Sode no Shirayuki curled around her, ice stemming in ribbons—though visible to only Rukia herself, she whispered into her ear, "He speaks of the truth—Hyorinmaru is rumbling."
Obviously, that didn't make her feel any better.
But why?
Sode no Shirayuki smiled knowingly, "Can you not see the desire in his eyes? You are no fool, Rukia. Ask him."
The question, that she wanted to ask was: "Why are you here and not with Momo?"
That question, it burned the back of her mind like a blue fire that refused to be snuffed. Jealousy was an ugly and weak thing, at times it was necessary, yes, it allowed you to get under someone's skin, seeping and settling like a stubborn cold. But it kept questioning, it kept you wondering—it kept you hesitating. Certainty was never, an acceptable answer and perhaps never would be because just like those flashes, the future was never certain.
Instead, she asked with fingers grasping at her white, cotton sheets, "Captains don't sneak into their subordinate's room, much less a lady," her eyes sharpened, "Right, Hitsugaya?"
His pink lips, a stark contrast against his tan skin, smirked, "How do you know—that I never visited Lieutenant Matsumoto's quarters?"
Because captain or not, Rangiku would never allow a man – no matter who it was – near her personal space without any type of rebuke.
"Because I know you," those words left her mouth without her consent, etched in honesty and resonates within the thin walls of her room.
Hitsugaya's eyes blazed blue and then softened; "What do you know of your uncle?"
Rukia blinked at the non-sequitur, furrowing the brows she inquired, "My uncle?"
"Did your brother tell you anything after, well," he glanced over at Hyorinmaru and finished his question, "The attack?"
"Just that he disappeared into Hueco Mundo," she replied, fingers brushing her jaw self-consciously, "That's it really bad and that security would have to be heightened because there is a possibility that we may receive another attack."
"That is true," Hitsugaya nodded and he decided to drop the news without any real warning, "Your brother gave his consent for you take the Lieutenant's exam."
Rukia's mouth parted and then snapped shut. She looked at him incredulously, fingers lost in her sheets, and she asked, "He gave his consent?"
He huffed, "Did I not just say that?"
She stammered, "Yes, but…"
"He never wanted you to take the exam," Hitsugaya nodded at that, his shoulder brushed her's, "I thought about that too and then I talked to Ukitake."
Amethysts orbs glittered curiously under the bright flame of the oil lamp.
"He said that he wanted to protect you and if you became a Lieutenant that you would be sent on more dangerous assignments," he explained and rolled his eyes, "Your brother is not as apathetic as you believe him to be."
And the words were bitter and dry as it escaped her lips, "You do realize, that he would've allowed me to be executed if Ichigo didn't come?"
It wasn't fair to him, that much she knew, it wasn't fair to herself. But it's not like she cannot stop thinking about the fact that, if it wasn't for Ichigo, she would've been long gone and, by her brother's approval too. It stings and it still hurts, but she doesn't tell her brother. Rukia would never tell her Nii-sama, that she still felt like—like she doesn't even know what to call this.
Bitterness settled into her like a second skin.
"I wouldn't have let him," Hitsugaya said fiercely, teal blazing and snow scattering. Fingertips brushing down her jaw and a thumb settles on her lips. The rough callous caught her bottom lip and he whispered against her mouth, "But you know that, don't you."
It was a statement, not a question.
She had found out later what he was doing during that time, there were whispers, of his investigation, of his disgust at the situation, at the unjust and immoral practice of law. She had heard and Renji had confirmed it then.
But she knew.
She knew as much as the ice in her bones and the lilies that bloomed in her heart.
Rukia knew.
.
.
.
We'll change the pace and we'll just go slow
You won't ever have to worry,
You won't ever have to hide
You've seen all my mistakes
So look me in my eyes
.
.
.
note1: This took far too long to write. I'm not going to lie, this fic is getting harder and harder to write. Now it's just wrapping things up and putting everything away in their respective place.
note2: What will Hitsugaya do now, that he's seen the flASH? HM? Idk.
songs used: take care — Drake ; garden — SZA
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