TW: traumatic childhood memories
Chapter 5: Skeletons
Orihime didn't see much of Ulquiorra on Tuesday. He had been busy and she had had another show with Shuhei and Peach Cobbler. It had been at a bigger venue during the day and it went well. She had been recognized by some people after the show and signed a few autographs. It still seemed funny to her.
The next day she didn't see Ulquiorra at all, apart from a kiss goodbye in the morning. She went out to lunch with Momo and did some window shopping with her. Apparently things between her and Shu were deteriorating. Momo was about to throw in the towel. Orihime smiled sympathetically and nodded, but mostly felt awkward and was glad when she left. She was just getting back to the hotel when she got the text from Kisuke.
- Hello, my sweet princess! How do you feel about french? I can pick you up at around seven. Where are you staying?
Orihime had a chuckle at the nickname; Kisuke had always addressed his birthday cards to her with that name when she was younger. She responded,
- Hello dear uncle, French is Fabulous. How should I dress? I'm at the Hyatt on 3rd.
A reply came a minute later.
- Nothing too fancy. Something like you wore the other night is fine.
Orihime smiled and got to her floor, then let herself in. "Oh," she said, surprised to find the room occupied.
Both of the men who were sitting at that small table looked up when Orihime entered. Ulquiorra had the decency to look guilty when Komamura turned a stern gaze on him. "I knew she was staying here. Whatever; if it keeps you focused and we don't have three more months of space cadet Ulquiorra," the band manager said. "Now, the event you're playing on Thursday night, you need to be prepared for this. We're looking at somewhere around five hundred people attending the concert. Maybe more."
Ulquiorra nodded. "I got it. I need to be captivating. Do we have a song or a set list?" He nodded when the guy produced a sheet of paper. Green eyes quickly scanned the words on page. "Wait, you're going to have me close this thing out with Hallelujah?"
Orihime raised an eyebrow. It seemed a strange choice to her, too. Generally bands closed shows with something more upbeat. It wasn't her place to say anything though, and she quietly slipped into the bathroom, leaving the door open though to listen.
"Ulq, do you know how many views that song has gotten on Youtube? No? A lot. We're looking at millions of views. People love it. They love you singing it," Koma answered.
"It's not even my song! Why can't I do one of the ones from the album? Why can't I do-"
"You made it your own."
Orihime smiled to herself in the mirror at Koma's comment. She couldn't agree more. She stepped out and pretended to busy herself on her phone, taking a seat at the desk on the far side of the room, but not before throwing a glance in Ulquiorra's direction long enough for him to see it, smiling and nodding, tipping her head in Koma's direction to indicate that she agreed with the manager's assessment.
He frowned at the redhead and then turned back to the band manager. "I think we should close out the show with something else, but if you think I should do that, I can."
Koma nodded. "I'll leave you two alone. Don't forget to be down at my room at six. You've got that bar to play tonight," he said as he got up and left, closing the door behind him.
Orihime watched the man leave and then looked back over at Ulquiorra. "Well, I'm not sure putting it at the end of your set is a good or bad idea, but I agree that you have made that song your own. Leonard Cohen may have written it, but Jeff Buckley owns his version, and you own your version. Nobody would disagree."
Ulquiorra sighed. "Orihime, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go back to being a nobody on the internet. I want to go back to the early days of me and you—like back in September—all I wanted to do was sing for Vega; for you."
She smiled at him. "Then quit. I mean, if this isn't what you want -if it doesn't make you happy- then don't do it. But if you're not sure, give it a day or so. Think it over."
"We still have a lot to wade through as a couple. I still don't know a lot about you, but it seems like you don't want to bring it up because your past deals with your aunt. I don't—I'm not sure what I'm trying to say but," he paused for a moment. Today seemed to be physically and emotionally taxing for him. He felt out of sorts with everything. "Are you coming with me to the bar tonight?"
"I'm not, I've got that meeting with Kisuke, remember? As for us and my past… It's not that I don't want to talk about it. It's that since we met in September, it's kind of been the Ulquiorra show. There was always some kind of issue to deal with on your end. There hasn't been a lot of opportunity, and honestly, there hasn't been a lot of interest on your end, for me to open up. I'm not saying this because I'm upset or whatever, I mean, you had legitimate issues. But everytime I would try to open up, either something else got in the way, or the timing was off, or we broke up." She stopped and starting walking the length of the room. "We do have a lot to work through. There is a lot you don't know. I feel like I know a lot more about you than you know about me. Much, much more," she laughed, thinking about all the time she spent at his dad's house, the things Nel said, the admissions he'd made, the journals, and stories from his friends in his hometown. He still didn't know her middle name.
"That happens when you stay at someone's house. I'm sure my dad shared all of the embarrassing stories and pictures." Ulquiorra got quiet. He didn't want to bring up the other things. "I'm restless today. There is a lot on the table that I don't want to deal with. I just want it to be me and you, but Koma says there is no way Espada will add you to my band."
She narrowed her eyes, but not harshly. She was trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. "Your dad didn't talk to me about you at all unless I asked specifically. He didn't want to upset me. As for Koma and Espada… You knew that before you signed. That's what you wanted at the time."
Oh. His dad was still the same old vault of memories that was kept locked tight. In some ways the son was like the father. Ulquiorra was very interested in Orihime but he didn't want to pry. Jon was like that. Maybe he needed to show Orihime how far he had come. "Hey, I am interested in you, but I don't like to ask questions. You know this. Whatever information you offered about yourself I've retained. I'm always curious and wondering about you, Orihime. Like, I want to know what drew you to singing and what your favorite color is. Do you wear jewelry, or is it just for gigs? Did you have any siblings?"
A bittersweet smirk appeared on her face. He really didn't know anything. "I sing because I liked it from a young age. My aunt pushed me to do it her way, but I still do it for me. I love music. It takes me far away from the things that hurt me, but it can also take me right back to the worst hurts if I want it to. It's powerful. It's the closest thing to magic that I think exists. My favorite color is white. I have never received any jewelry and feel that it is not something that one buys for herself unless it's part of a costume. I don't have any siblings."
"Is there anything you want me to know about you? Is there something you want to know about me? I mean, we have the rest of our lives to get to know one another, but some basic things are good."
She sighed heavily. "There is a lot I want you to know about me. There are some things you need to know about me. They are not easy for me to talk about though." She paused and swallowed hard. Now was probably not a good time, either. "I don't know if you remember, but I tried telling you a few times when we were going to visit your dad for the first time… I never was able to tell you everything, though."
He did remember. She had said that she wasn't a good person and it had always made Ulquiorra curious about what she had meant. How was Orihime not a good person? She had a heart of gold and was full of love. "If it's hard for you to talk about I don't want to upset you. You need to be on your game tonight with this meeting."
Her shoulders dropped. He was right. But once again, she had to be silent. It ate away at her. "Okay. Another time, then," she said softly, looking at the desk. "Occhi Verdi means green eyes," she uttered, somewhat distracted. That was also something she had tried to tell him on several occasions, but when she broached the subject, he had always changed it. She wanted to at least clean one slate.
"What? What do you mean Occhi Verdi means green eyes?"
"I mean it literally means green eyes. Occhi is eyes in Italian. Verdi is green in Italian. Jon named the shop after you because you are his entire world and I have been trying to tell you that for months and finally I did it. Pfew!" she said as quickly as she could and then leaned a hand on the desk, feeling like she did her good deed for the day.
"I'm my dad's entire world?" Ulquiorra's eyes darted from Orihime's face to the floor and then anywhere but her. Jon had named the coffee shop after him? He was the only one with green eyes except for his grandmother! His dad had hazelish eyes. His mother had blue eyes. Ulquiorra was the only one! "Fuck. I need to call and talk to him one of these days."
Orihime nodded and went to the closet. She had taken some time over the past two days to unpack her things into the closet and dresser in Ulquiorra's room. "You should. He misses you. I don't know why he clings to Steve, but before I had to leave your house, I said something to your dad about how he shouldn't feel bad about turning me out because he had to follow his heart. He told me you were his heart. Not Steve. Then he drank almost an entire bottle of cabernet."
Ulquiorra stood and walked over to where Orihime was, hugged her from behind, and buried his face into her neck. "Tonight can we talk about you? I want to hear whatever you want to tell me. I will listen to every word."
She nodded once. "If it's not too late and you're not too tired."
"I'm never too tired for you. We need to talk about this. Sleep can wait. You and I need this. We need to discuss this."
She sighed. "We do, but it's not the kind of conversation you want to have when you are tired or emotionally spent. It's, um… Well, for me, anyway, it can be upsetting."
Ulquiorra slowly turned her around to face him. "I'm here for you Orihime. If it upsets you, I will hold you and comfort you," he said. "That's what lovers do."
A pained expression flittered across her face for a moment. "I'm afraid it will upset you, too."
That made his eyebrows shoot up. What could she have to tell him that was so upsetting? "We won't know unless we communicate, right?"
"Right."
Ulquiorra kissed Orihime before he left for his gig. He walked to the floor below his and found Koma's room. Aaron and Ggio were already inside, laughing. It looked like Aaron had started drinking already. "Go slow tonight," Ulquiorra told the drummer as he picked up a beer bottle.
Koma came to the guy's rescue. "Ulquiorra, calm down. Aaron's getting into his headspace. You should do the same."
That was great advice, but his focus was currently getting ready to have dinner with someone from a competing label. What if this Urahara guy basically told Orihime to drop him or that he was deadweight? He would deserve it, but still… Ulquiorra knew he would chase after Orihime. "Are we ready for this gig?"
"So, you see, Orihime, I had initially hoped to sign both you and Mr. Hisagi. However, circumstances being what they are, given your relationships with him and Mr. Cifer, and given that you are my goddaughter, I think a different, how should I say, set of privileges can be afforded to you."
Orihime took a sip of her overpriced glass of sparkling water after swallowing an overpriced bite of deviled egg. "What are you talking about, Uncle Kisuke?"
"I mean, you are a young woman of connections and many talents. You are a classically trained soprano. We have a classical music division. You are a jazz singer and a pop singer and a rock singer. You are quite accomplished. I've looked up your aliases. You've been performing nonstop for the past two years. That's not including your classical recitals. I've watched your YouTube videos. All of them, including your Vega IV show. You've got what it takes. Now it's just a matter of deciding what you want to do. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of contacting your aunt."
Orihime nearly choked on a leaf of arugula. "You spoke with Claire?"
"Yes. I'm sorry to tell you that she was not exactly forthcoming, but she told me that you were cut off and more or less blamed your genetics. I'm sorry, Orihime. She is an awful woman. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to protect you from her."
Orihime rolled her eyes and took another bite. After she chewed and swallowed, she replied, "Well, the old bird has always had it out for me. At least I don't have to pretend to please her anymore. So you know I have no money, then?"
"Yes. I understand that you are ineligible for financial aid because of the trust your parents left you, so it's not financially reasonable for you to continue your education at this time."
Orihime nodded. "Yeah, I was working as a barista for a bit and then started recording with Shu. What's this all got to do with signing with Soul Society?"
"It doesn't, exactly. Orihime, I'd like to offer you a chance to get to know the industry behind the scenes; an opportunity to feel it out and see where you best fit before you get siphoned through a production machine. I feel responsible for letting that hag get you into a position where you were subjected to working with Sousuke Aizen. I understand you've joined a lawsuit against him for sexual harassment?"
Orihime's cheeks colored as she nodded silently.
"I knew of Aizen's reputation. So did your aunt. You should have never been put into that position. I should have been more involved in your life. I plan to be there for you going forward. I want you to come to LA and stay with me and my partner, Yoruichi. We have a pool house you could live in until you figure out what you want to do and we can take our time setting you up with the company. Would you please consider it?"
Orihime was honestly shocked at the generosity of the offer, and before she knew it, her eyes were watering and she needed to use her napkin to stop her makeup from running. "It's too much, Uncle Kisuke. I-"
"No, no, it's not enough. Orihime, Kenta was my best friend. I loved your mother like a sister. I owe it to them. I owe it to you. Please think about it. I'd like to have your answer by the end of the festival."
Orihime nodded. "I'll think about it. Thank you."
Once again, Aaron had gotten really drunk and they had to leave the bar earlier than planned. Ulquiorra frowned as the man dozed in and out of consciousness. "Koma, this is becoming a problem," he told the manager once they reached the hotel. "This is twice-"
"Ulq, don't worry about it. I've got my eye on Aaron. He's a good guy. Seen some shit and experienced some stuff. It's all right. I've got this under control. Aaron told me he was going to party a little this week. I gave him the green light. Go to your lady. I'll take care of him."
He wanted to protest, telling his manager that OIV wasn't just attached to him anymore but the three of them, but Ulquiorra turned and started walking away. No. He couldn't just stand there and let his band members get shit-faced when his fucking name was on the line. He whirled around and stalked back to the older man. "No, Koma. Obscuras IV isn't a group thing! It's mine. That's my name. I can't have them embarrassing me! Let them know if this continues they can and will be replaced. I can bring in some brilliant people to play different instruments."
While Koma was struggling to find words, Ulquiorra went into the hotel and used the elevator to go up to his room. He dug the keycard out of his pocket, entering the room. He hoped Orihime was there. "Hey?" he called out as he walked into the space.
"Hey," came the softspoken reply. Orihime had been sitting in an armchair near the window, looking out over what she could see of Austin, deep in thought. She turned her head slowly to face Ulquiorra. "How was the show?"
He stopped when he saw her. Something was going on. "Aaron got drunk again so we had to leave early before he started any fights. How-how did the meeting with Urahara go?"
"He made me an offer. It's very generous. I need to think about it. On the other hand it feels stupid to act like I need to think about it. Still, I need to think about it. I need to talk to you about it. It's not a record deal. At least, not yet."
A heavy sigh left Ulquiorra as he took his shoes off and then sat on the end of the bed. "What is it? Lay it out there. They want you to drop me? They want you to-What? You look like-I don't even know… conflicted?"
"He's offering for me to live at his and his, I guess, girlfriend or life partner lady's pool house in LA and take some time to figure out what I want to focus on before I get "siphoned through a production machine"," she explained, using air quotes. "He said he's not interested in Shuhei as part of an act with me anymore. He likes my connection to you. He hates my aunt, although he admits my connection to her name could open some doors for me. He knows about the Aizen lawsuit. He's worked with him before. He said he feels responsible because he knew of Aizen's reputation. He thinks he should have been more involved in my upbringing. He confirmed that my aunt knew all about Aizen's reputation as well, and put me in his studio regardless," her nostrils were flaring as her right hand fisted. "She always…" she stopped and sighed. They weren't talking about Claire. They were talking about Kisuke. "Anyway, he wants to make sure I get started on the right foot in the industry, if that's even what I want to do. It just seems too generous."
"Didn't you tell me to be cautious? I'm not saying you shouldn't take the opportunity, but you should be wary of the people you're around," Ulquiorra said. Relief had taken root in his brain. "I wish I had someone that would show me the ropes before I just got plunked into this tank."
A half-smile tugged at the left corner of her mouth. "Yeah. He said that I could shadow him and Yoruichi once in awhile and that for cash I could do studio back-up vocals; said it would be a great chance to get some experience in the studio and see how people work and how I like the grind. I know I love rehearsals and performing, but this is a side of it that I don't know."
Ulquiorra stood up and walked over to Orihime. He knelt down in front of her and took her hand. "You'd be closer to me. The grind doesn't bother me. It's the partying and the way these people think others are expendable," he said. "I mean… I know we talked about it and you don't want to live with me."
Orihime squeezed his hand. "It's not that I don't want to. It's just… Your dad once told me about the "ballad of Ulquiorra and Nel", and warned me that he didn't want us to become "the tragic tale of Ulquiorra and Orihime". I don't want us to be that, either."
He closed his eyes and laid his head against her lap. "I don't want us to become that either. I've not spoken to Nel in months. I want to talk to you everyday. I want to kiss you. I want to see your smiling face. I don't want there to be this emotional divide between us. Without you..." Ulquiorra sighed. He wouldn't think about it. "I do want you out in California though. If you're out there we can at least hang out."
She put her free hand through his hair. "You talk like we wouldn't be us anymore. We'd still be us. We'd just have to put in a bit of effort, I think. We'd have some space to work out our kinks without taking it out on each other? That's my hope, anyway."
"Orihime, things changed between us," he said. "We went from online buddies to lovers in the space of a week, maybe a couple of weeks. Things changed. We didn't have a chance to get used to it. We could have destroyed each other with what happened and we almost did." Ulquiorra finally looked up at her. "If you do come out to Cali, we take it one day at a time. I just wish..."
Orihime's brow creased. "You wish what?"
He sighed. "I just wish that you were coming out there for me and not some promise of a career. It's selfish of me to think that but… I'm a selfish person."
She couldn't disagree with him. He'd proven that to be true over and over again. "I can perform anywhere. I told you that at your dad's house. Fame isn't what I'm after. I just want to sing in front of people. I'm not in it for a record contract and a lavish lifestyle and recognition and bitches and bottles of Bacardi," she laughed a bit. "California is as a nice place as anywhere to sing, I guess. But it wouldn't be as interesting to me if you weren't there."
Stretching his neck, he pecked her on the lips. "Then sing. If I can, I want to perform with you," Ulquiorra told her.
She smiled and nodded. It was more or less decided, she supposed. "Are you tired?"
"Kind of, but not really? I'm mentally fed up with this whole festival, but I promised you that we were going to talk," he replied. "That is if you're up to it."
She bit her lip. She didn't want to have this conversation when he was not into it. "I'm never going to be up to it," she admitted. "If you want to get to know my quirks or stats, that's an easy thing to talk about and fall asleep on. The rest… not so much. I need to know where to draw the line."
Ulquiorra pulled back and gave her a confused stare. "Why would we need a line?"
"Because," she was getting a little frustrated. "There are some things that have happened to me; some things I have done… They aren't pleasant. If you are not up to talking about things that will upset you, then I don't want to do it."
"Do we need a line? Orihime, it doesn't matter if it upsets me. This is about you. You know about my past now. If you've heard about me and Nelliel then you know about the unpleasant stuff. If you read my journals… I don't want you to get upset."
"I have to live with it. I'll be upset to talk about it, but it's nothing new for me. You'll be the first person besides Claire… and a school counselor and social worker, that I've told, though." She was stalling a bit. She wanted to give him ample opportunity to back out, and she needed to ramp up her courage.
Ulquiorra stood and pulled Orihime out of the chair, leading her over to the bed. "Sit and get comfy. I'll grab us some bottles of water and tissues, okay? If you want to talk about it, we can, or we can wait until you're in Los Angeles. We can use tonight to get to know each other through other stuff."
She sighed. He didn't seem to want to hear about it, but he kind of did. "We have to talk about it before I go to LA. It won't do any good for me to move out there and then tell you and have you decide that you don't feel the same way anymore after you know. It has to be here." She sat and waited for him.
He did as he said he was going to do and got them both a bottle of water and then he found a box of unopened tissues. Ulquiorra brought it all back to the bed and then sat down. He situated himself across from Orihime and waited. "I'm listening then," he said.
Orihime closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wanted to organize her thoughts in a way that would allow her to get the most truth out in the fewest amount of words, but still have it tie back to what he already knew about her. She decided to start there. "You know how you were really angry that I was able to tell off Ishida for touching me but not Aizen? There is a reason for that. And not just the one about my college funds getting cut off." She opened her eyes and looked at him to see if he had any reaction yet.
"Okay, what's the reason?" Ulquiorra asked. "It's not like you were trained to take abuse from older men but fend off guys your own age."
Her face fell. He wasn't going to believe her. Just like everyone else. She blew out her breath. If he didn't believe her, it really didn't matter. She would just put it all out there, then. "Okay. I was molested for a couple years. My aunt knew. She blamed me. She thought because I didn't say anything, it meant I wanted it. I was about seven or eight when it started. I still freeze up when someone who reminds me of him touches me. I know you don't believe me, but that's what it is," she blurted out then looked at her hands and bit the inside of her cheeks.
Ulquiorra felt like an asshole. He felt like a piece of shit. "No, I believe you. I'm sorry. I didn't know." Suddenly looking back on the incident with Aizen brought things into better focus about how wrong he had been in just leaving and making it all about himself. "I'm so sorry for leaving you after your concert. I'm sorry I assumed the wrong things."
Orihime had a lump in her throat but otherwise held it together. "The thing was, I thought I was doing the right thing. He kept praising me. He told me I was special and pretty and such a good girl not to tell mean old Claire. Sometimes it made me happy. Sometimes I went along with it for reasons other than fear. I told you, I'm not that good of a person," she closed her eyes and took another deep breath. "It wasn't until we had those "your body is changing" talks in school that I asked a teacher if it was okay to be touched that way by a grown up. Then the counselors and the social worker got involved. The police were called. My aunt told them I was making it all up. She liked the guy. She was angry that I would open my whore mouth and get him into trouble. He wasn't the last, either. I think I mentioned that another one died before too much happened," her mouth was just on autopilot now as she laid out one confession after another. "You once said I got into OSU on my own merit, and that the rumors about me must be based on jealousy or whatever. I don't think that's true. Claire would always advertise my "experience" to potential mentors. She told them that I was precocious. Curious. Willing. She told Aizen the same thing. I heard her on the phone. He probably bragged about it. They always do when they think they're untouchable." Her voice was bitter with betrayal as she described her aunt.
Orihime seemed to get lost in her thoughts after that, as her vision went inward, memories of that first man making her feel like a little girl again. She was disgusted with the memory of herself. "I should have known better."
"Orihime, listen to me. You are a good person. However, your aunt and those people she affiliated herself with are not good people. Forget about them and the past. That happening does not define you. Didn't you tell me that once? That things that happened in the past didn't define me? Look to the future," Ulquiorra didn't want her to go down a dark road, but he didn't know how to help her. "Your aunt is not a good person, and if I ever meet her again I will tell her how I feel about her. I apologize for leaving you that night. I am sorry for being a selfish prick. I guess- I might have known this about you had we just taken things slow instead of me sticking my dick in you. I'm sorry."
Orihime pursed her lips and shook her head. "You may have, you may not have. I don't know." She felt like there was something else she needed to say but it was eluding her. That's right. "Oh, yeah, you asked me why I didn't always like giving head. It wasn't Mr. Brazil. We didn't work out, yeah, but he was kind to me when we were together."
And he hadn't helped with matters when she attempted it the first time. How could Orihime even forgive him for being the asshole that he was? "We don't have to do it ever again. I'm an ass, Orihime. I still love you. I think you're good. You're the exact opposite of what your aunt says."
Orihime took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. She hadn't cried. That was good. She felt like she might throw up, but she hadn't cried. "I hope that's true. Sometimes I don't know."
He held his hand out to her before just pulling her into his lap. He hugged her tightly. "You are. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you if you weren't. I wouldn't have been holding onto the idea of us so tightly if you weren't. I know you in certain ways. You have a good heart. Just promise me one thing," Ulquiorra said to her.
Now the tears came. The release of letting go of hiding this part of herself from him was starting to settle on her. She couldn't speak except to suck down short breaths and nod.
"You need to tell me if we do something that makes you uncomfortable. If giving me head makes you uncomfortable, then don't do it. But if it wasn't Mr. Brazil… Was it your mentors?"
"Just that first one," she whispered.
He wrapped his arms around her tighter and held her. "I'm sorry that happened to you Veggs. I'm sorry that you had to grow up around someone like Claire. You're free from her now. You can do anything you want." Ulquiorra kissed the side of her head. "I'm going to be by your side for it."
It seemed a bit bold of a declaration. He'd been making those all week. "Ulquiorra, what did you mean before?"
"When? What did I mean before when?" He asked pulling back from her. He wasn't quite sure what she was asking. The question had an ominous tone to it.
"You said there was an emotional divide between us. Then you started to say something like, if you were without me, but then you stopped. What did you mean?"
"I don't want what happened between Nelliel and I to happen to us. I don't want us to drift apart. I don't want to ever resent you for being in my life and getting close to me," he said in a soft voice.
She still didn't really get what he meant. He'd always told her that his relationship with Nel was very different than his relationship with her, so this sentiment didn't quite resonate with her the way it seemed to for him. "Well, I don't want to resent you either," she said after a pause. She decided to address something else before he completely steered to conversation back to himself again. "Anyway, you said you don't like to ask questions. I'm used to not having anyone to talk to, much less anyone who is interested in me apart from the ways I can benefit them. If you don't ask questions, I'm going to think you don't care or aren't interested."
Ulquiorra frowned. "I don't know what to ask. Like that assignment we did for that one class with those stupid questions, remember? Do I come up with questions like that? This is still somewhat new to me, Orihime; having a relationship and being attached to someone. Nel just spewed information at me, so I didn't have to ask." He sighed, wondering if this was how it was always going to be.
She shrugged. "I guess if you don't have any questions you don't have any questions. I don't know what you're interested in when it comes to me or to us. I mean, If I am curious I just ask, I guess." Her nostrils flared a bit. It stung that he didn't seem curious about her. He said he was, but when it came down to it, he only seemed interested in things that concerned himself. At least those were the things he took the initiative to ask about. "If you ever think of something, just ask. Don't worry about it." She sighed then, feeling a burning sensation behind her eyes. There was a building tension growing in her body; the stress of her confession was bad enough, but this discomfort on top of it was making her feel anxious. She looked at the door, wondering if a walk around the halls would help.
No. This wouldn't do. He was interested in her and them, but he just didn't know what to ask. He furrowed his brow as he thought of something to ask her. "Is there any part of your past or your childhood that you remember fondly? Like good memories?" Ulquiorra asked. He saw her gaze drift to the door and there was no way he was going to let her leave.
Her mouth twisted to the side. "When I was praised. When I got a pretty dress… When I went on a field trip for school and got to see a forest for the first time. I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties or sleepovers or anything when I was younger, and you know how warm and fuzzy Claire is… The only friend I had when I was younger was the sister of a babysitter of mine and things between us became confusing and weird… I really didn't have a lot of good memories until I got into high school and was able to flex my independence a bit more."
"Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid? Or a blanket? Or something that you would never give up?" Ulquiorra bit his lip thinking of the bat plushie that was stuck in a box somewhere in the attic of his dad's house. These were things he wanted to know about her and it seemed so silly.
"I have a set of hairpins. They're a kind of a light aqua-blue and they are shaped like flowers. They look kidsy and cheap but I am really attached to them. They were a gift from Kisuke, actually," she smiled fondly as she recalled finding the pins tucked into a birthday card. "I have them here, do you want to see them?" she offered, expecting him to laugh and refuse.
"Yes," Ulquiorra said, nodding his head. "Sometimes we grow attached to the silliest things but if they mean a lot to you… I want to see them."
A goofy half-smile broke her thoughtful facade and her cheeks colored. "Okay," she murmured, getting up and walking over to the dresser. She opened the top drawer and pulled out a small bag, taking out two small silver-colored hairpins. They really were cheap-looking. They had come from a ubiquitous mall chain store aimed at pre-teens that sold ear piercings, cheap jewelry, and accessories accented with hot-pink feathers. The blue part of the pins was just enamel poured into a depression on each petal. They had probably cost less than two dollars. They were priceless to her, though. She held them out to Ulquiorra. "Here they are," she said, kind of embarrassed.
He picked one up and held it up, examining it in the hotel's rather poor lighting. Ulquiorra's eyes went to her face and then back to the hairpin. Sure, these probably came a dime a dozen. They were loved though. "I bet you were a cute kid with these in your hair."
She blushed again and shook her head. "Fat kid, remember?"
"Shhhh, no insulting yourself," Ulquiorra said handing the hairpin back to her. "Where do you see yourself or us in a year? Five years?" Since she had opened the box, he might as well satisfy his curiosity.
The blush on her face deepened, and she turned back to the dresser to return the hairpins to their home. "You mean, like, what I imagine in a general sense?"
"Yeah," he replied. "Is there another sense?"
She chuckled, "Well, some people are planners. Like, they know exactly what they are going to be doing next March fifteenth. I'm not that kind of person. I mean, in a year? It's hard to say because so much has happened in this week to kind of turn that vision on its head. I guess in California, maybe apartment hunting? I hope I'm not still camping out at Kisuke's after a year," she answered, then chewed on the remaining words, making them difficult to hear, "and I hope you are not living at your mom's then…"
Oh. Well then. "I like my mom's beach house. It has a studio and a pool and it's a prime piece of property. The only thing I don't hate is the drive. I wish I lived closer to everything," Ulquiorra said. "I liked the views of Malibu. The beach house sometimes has me feeling agoraphobic."
She turned around to look at him then. He had misunderstood. "I mean, it sounds great, but it's not yours. I don't know how established you'll be in a year, and I don't know if I'll be making caramel macchiatos or singing in a year, so maybe it's premature to say that. But in five years, I see us having... our own place?"
"Oh, yeah, probably, but for now… Living rent-free is pretty sweet," he said with a quick grin. "You still see us together in five years. That's good."
"Do you?"
"Of course, who else would I see myself with?"
She felt kind of silly, and very embarrassed and exposed, so her reply was somewhat ridiculous. "I don't know, some tall Russian named Natasha with blonde hair and long legs and connections to arms dealers? Sounds more exciting than me."
"That description sounds like my mother. No thanks," he said with a laugh. "I have other questions to ask you but they seem stupid. They seem… lame."
"Nope, no, I insist you ask every lame question you think of," she said quickly, eager to deflect the shame from herself.
"Okay, um, which would you rather have, wealth and be miserable or poor and happy?"
"Poor and happy. Easy. You?"
Ulquiorra shook his head. "I'm asking questions about you. We are not talking about me. I don't like talking about me. Um, any irrational fears or phobias?"
"Um… just Aizen lookalikes. And Michael Jackson. And clowns. And china dolls."
He tried hard not to smirk at her last three answers. "One of these days you're going to have to explain that."
"They're just creepy…" she said through a wide, teeth-baring fake smile.
"What did-" Ulquiorra started to say but then stopped. He wasn't sure how she would answer the question that had been burning in his mind.
"What? Ask, please."
"When I called you at the beginning of this month, what did you think?"
"You mean the call when you asked me to tell you that I love you?"
Ulquiorra nodded.
"I thought, thank god," she admitted, exhaling for emphasis. "It didn't matter that I kept telling your dad or Steve or Renji or Shu. I told them I loved you all the time, but it didn't help me. I needed to tell you. After that I felt like I could finally breathe."
His eyes felt like they were burning as Ulquiorra tipped his head back and blinked rapidly. He didn't want to cry, but her words evoked emotions in him. When he felt like he could speak, he said, "I had to know. I had to hear those words from you."
It was her turn to be curious. "Didn't you know? I always told you before. Did you think my feelings for you were shallow?"
Ulquiorra shook his head. "No, I never thought that. Once in a while I need affirmation that you do feel like that. I needed reassurance that I wasn't chasing after an empty idea. What do you appreciate most about me?"
She grinned. It sounded like a conceited question, but she knew that it wasn't. "Most? That's hard. I appreciate…" She was struggling with this one. "I think your vulnerability. You are brave enough to expose it, on stage and in your personal life. Most people aren't."
"I appreciate your honesty. I like how you are open enough to call me out on bullshit."
She chuckled. "Well, I apologize for when I am too blunt, but I'm glad you appreciate it."
He reached out to her and pulled Orihime close. "I can't think of anymore lame questions. I know there's stuff I want to know about you. It's been a rather odd day and all I want to do is hold you and tell you that I love you."
Orihime nodded and allowed herself to be pulled into him. "I love you too, Ernie."
The Obscuras IV concert was a success. Koma's estimate of people was lowball figure. There were around one thousand bodies in the park that night. Ulquiorra was a completely different person as he performed on stage. He could feel the crowd's energy and he fed off of it. He was charming behind the mic. He engaged with the audience. He kept looking to the front row, where Orihime stood.
Two hours later when it was all finished, Koma congratulated him on a job well done. He said he was proud of the group. Ulquiorra was proud of himself too, but he didn't care about his manager's praise. He wanted to hear what Orihime had to say.
He was hindered by his mother and Gin. They both told him that they expected big things from OIV. Twenty minutes later, he finally found the redhead.
"Wow! Look at you! My big successful rockstar!" she cheered as she cut through a group of people and launched herself at him. "That was amazing!"
"Hey! Oof," he grunted as he caught her, his arms tightening around her. "Thank you. I just did what you said to do. I was charming. I felt the crowd out. I tried to keep it all upbeat."
She kissed his cheeks and then his lips and smiled at him. "I knew you could do it. You made it look easy."
Ulquiorra grinned at her. It was amazing how much she believed in him when he didn't share the same sentiment. He didn't know if he could perform live in a concert setting. "I need to take you on tour with me. I'll tag you as my emotional support Vega," he joked.
She snickered and rolled her eyes. "As long as I don't have to wear a reflective vest." She smiled at him then, looking into his eyes and shaking her head slowly, one of her hands raising into his hair and curling into it a bit. "Look how far you've come in such a short time. You're a shooting star. Brilliant. I hope you're proud of yourself, because you should be."
"I am proud of myself." He leaned into her hand, letting his face rest on her arm. "Everyone is telling me I did a good job. I only wanted to hear that from you."
Her heart melted. "You did a good job, Ulquiorra." She smiled wider and her eyesight got a little blurry and her cheeks got a bit rosy, but she maintained her composure. "What do you have to do after this?"
"Nothing, I'm free until ten tomorrow morning; interview," he explained.
"Do you want to pretend you're just a normal dude and go catch a show? You could get changed and we could sit on a towel and watch somebody play something that sounds suspiciously like Dave Matthews Band?" she asked with a chuckle.
His grin got wider as he nodded his head. "If he starts playing number forty-one, I'm bouncing," Ulquiorra said.
"Haha, same. Do you have a trailer or something to change in?"
"Nope. I did bring another t-shirt though," he said as he led her to the backstage area. Ulquiorra found Aaron and Ggio near their equipment. He nodded at them. "I figure it's time for some introductions. Aaron, G, this is Orihime."
Both men nodded and mumbled a hello to her.
"Hi guys," she said with a grin and a small wave. She wasn't exactly bothered by the lack of interest on their parts; she hadn't expected much.
"Eh, Ulq. We're going to this party, we would invite you and her along but-" Aaron said but was cut off by the shorter bass player.
"Underage," Ggio stated. "Wouldn't want you to hit the tabloids for getting caught drinking."
"It's fine guys. We have that interview tomorrow, so try not to get too smashed," Ulquiorra said as he grabbed his guitar case and his bookbag. He opened the bag to fish out the clean t-shirt and took off the one he had on. He shook out the black t-shirt and put it on, turning toward Orihime. "We can go sit down somewhere, if you want."
She nodded and took his hand, leading him away from the main stage to a smaller side stage she had scoped out earlier. It was just a grassy spot, and the woman and man on stage were dressed in ethnic hippy clothing, playing an acoustic drum and a guitar and, indeed, singing Dave Matthews knock-off songs. Orihime turned her face towards Ulquiorra and laughed before kneeling down, pulling thin towel out of her large purse to sit on, not wanting to stain her white sundress. She also had a wrap in her purse, which she pulled out and put over her shoulders, offering a side to Ulquiorra as he sat beside her.
He shook his head as he sat down beside Orihime and put his stuff between his legs. "This is... I feel like I should be smelling patchouli incense."
"Right?" she giggled. "I kind of want to take my shoes and bra off and become one with nature."
"I'd pay to see that, but not here," Ulquiorra said, giving her a side-eyed glance. "So, tomorrow..."
"Yeah? What time are you leaving?" she asked, the smile falling from her face slowly.
"My plane leaves after yours. I got you a ticket back to Ohio which lands in Columbus. I figured you'd want to get there before Hisagi does and throws all your shit to the curb," Ulquiorra said.
Orihime raised her eyebrows. "I hope he wouldn't do that. Honestly, I feel like I should wait for him to show up to go inside though… I wouldn't want him going through my apartment without me, you know? It seems invasive. Anyway, maybe I can give good old Ivan a call and be a third wheel with him and Grimmy for a day or so until Shu gets back."
Ulquiorra gave her an unimpressed look. "You never know with jilted would-be lovers. He probably wants to kick my ass for stealing you away."
She smirked at him. "If memory serves, you kicked his ass. Poor Shu. He is sweet," she said in a pitying tone, then added, "when he's not trying to stick his tongue down your throat."
A rude snort left Ulquiorra and he didn't bother to hide it. "He better not try to do that again to you. Next time I'm not going to be that nice. Next time I will give him a front row seat to his own funeral."
Orihime leaned into him and put her mouth near his ear and hummed, "Mmm, I like it when you defend your territory. Very manly."
"You're mine and I'm yours," Ulquiorra said, kissing her forehead. "Let's enjoy the rest of this hippy parade."
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