Detention. Funny, it was supposed to be this big dreadful thing; a punishment to be avoided. And sure, Edward would rather not be spending any more time in this horrible school than he absolutely had to. But detention at CCHS was held in the library, which was something close to a sanctuary for Ed. Not so many people questioned you when you had your nose buried in a book. Which, incidentally, was exactly what he had been instructed to do.

Edward glanced up from his textbook—math? He hadn't even looked, simply pulling one at random from his bag—to track the movements of the supervisor. Mr. Tucker was meandering aimlessly in and around the shelves, checking on the other miscreants tucked into various corners of the library. All the teacher had told them was that they had an hour of mandatory studying; their punishment was being forced to do work they were already meant to complete. Not that Ed was complaining or complying. After another week in classes, Edward had plenty of homework, but absolutely zero emotional energy to work on it. Hence the open book, designed to make him look busy.

That was something Ed had gotten quite good at last year. After what happened, he took to coming to the library any chance he got. It was a vast space, with plenty of scattered tables hidden by rows of bookshelves; in other words, a perfect place to disappear. In fact, it was exactly where Edward had gone that awful day…

Why wasn't he crying? Ed thought he should probably be crying at this point. There was a huge weight in his chest, a terrible pressure that in truth made him feel more like vomiting again than like sobbing. But nothing would come out. It was stuck, bottled inside, this most atrocious mix of shame and guilt and sadness and—

Edward stumbled, his breathing coming sharp and fast. He needed to sit down, or he was going to pass out. That would just be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it? To fucking faint like the pansy he was. Ed turned a corner, around another shelf, and half threw himself into the first chair he saw. With a shaky hand, he reached into his bookbag to grab his water bottle. His mouth still tasted like bile.

Maybe he should sleep. Maybe this was all a horrible dream. After all, the whole thing seemed entirely unreal. This…this couldn't really be happening. But Edward didn't really think that; he knew full well what he did to Winry was actual, and her revenge was just as tangible. It was just that a part of him wanted to stay in denial, to just go to bed and forget. Another part of him wanted to head up the maintenance stairs to the roof and leap off.

Would it hurt to do? It couldn't possibly hurt as much as this.

Ed let his head fall to the table, eyes shut tightly. He'd thrown his copy away, but that damn stupid poster was so clear in his mind that it might as well have been in front of him. Why was he even still here? Edward should have snuck out and gone home. A little distance would be good for him…but going home meant telling Izumi and Sig what had happened. And, fuck, how was he supposed to do that? How was he to tell his adoptive family about this…

"Brother?"

Alphonse's voice was so quiet, so delicate that for a moment Ed thought he was imagining it. But then he felt hesitant fingers on his back. "Brother, I'm here."

It was a good thing Al hadn't said, "It's okay," because brother or not, Edward would have slapped him. This was about the furthest thing from okay as was humanly possible. A dry heave ripped through him, but there was nothing left in Ed's stomach to expunge.

"I can't believe she did this…" Alphonse whispered. Edward's muscles clenched involuntarily. As little as he wanted to say it, he wasn't entirely surprised. Winry was a passionate person who didn't take well to criticism or offense. And, boy, had he offended her. Considering she was prone to fits when her tinkering was interrupted, it wasn't out of character for Winry to blow her entire lid at something like—like what he'd done to her.

What a pussy he was! He couldn't even say it to himself.

Though the hand on his back didn't move, Ed heard Al settling into the chair beside him. "Please, Brother, say something," his sibling begged. But what was he supposed to say? Edward was the guy who had his whole life planned out, but now…now, he couldn't even see ten seconds into the future. Every breath felt like it would be his last, like the knife in his gut would finally finish its work.

"I don't know what to say," Ed croaked. "I should have known better. I shouldn't have crossed her, and now I'm getting what's due."

"Brother, you can't really believe you deserve this? I mean, you really messed up, but…" Alphonse trailed off, evidently also at a loss for words. Then, after a few heartbeats, "You could have told me, you know."

Did Ed know that? In theory and hindsight, sure. Al was here, after all. Regardless of everything, his little brother had sought him out to provide comfort. But was easy for Alphonse to say Edward should have confessed to him. He'd not felt that feeling bubbling up, the slow and terrible realization that you're irreparably different. Al had never struggled to cover up his feelings, to lie to everyone and himself about what he wanted. Ed was thankful for it, really, that his brother had never had to be so afraid of his own desires.

"How could I have told you?" Edward muttered. "I didn't even want to admit it to myself, Al. I didn't—I don't want to be gay!" Unbidden, his voice broke as a solitary sob escaped. "All I want is to be normal. I just wanted to date Winry and make her happy."

"All you can be is yourself, Brother," Alphonse chided gently. "You didn't need to hide that."

A merciless, bark of a laugh erupted from Ed. "Obviously I did, Al. Every other guy in school thinks I'm a freak."

"Well, that's because Winry's made things a bit more complicated." That was a delicate way to put it. "I'm sure everything will calm down…"

The soft voice of Mr. Tucker broke Edward out of his reverie. Detention was over, and he was free to go home. Free to try to enjoy the weekend, like it wasn't just a two-day countdown to more misery. Alphonse had been wrong; nothing had calmed down.

Whatever. Edward tossed his textbook back into his bag, then slung it over his shoulder. For once, he was the first one out the library doors, eager as always to escape CCHS. Hadn't he read somewhere that being in a place where something bad had happened brought it to the forefront of your mind?

Ed should have switched schools, like Rupert had been smart enough to do.

Not that it would have been possible, he reflected as he sped down the mostly empty halls. Rupert's family had been wealthy and had simply placed him in a private school. Izumi and Sig could hardly have afforded that, nor would Edward have expected them to. And it wasn't like they could uproot their butcher's shop, their whole lives, to move for Ed to go to a different public school. No, he was stuck, and he'd always been stuck.

Upon crossing the threshold into the outdoors, Edward saw immediately that Alphonse, ever the perfect sibling, had waited for him. Ed had made it clear that Al was welcome to head home on his own, but it seemed that his brother was too nice to do something like that.

Or was he? A double take had Edward slowing down, then stopping entirely, his feet stacked unevenly on the stairs. Yes, Alphonse was waiting, but he wasn't alone. A girl Ed had never seen before was standing next to him, chattering away. Her hair was even darker than Izumi's, and worn in two plaits that bounced as she spoke, so energetic was her demeanor. And as for Al—he was smiling, laughing harder than Edward had seen him do in months.

Oh, he hated himself for the jealousy that bubbled up inside. Ed could no longer make his brother that happy, and part of him was furious that a stranger could do more for Alphonse than he could. On the flip side, Edward was so glad to see something making Al grin that he didn't want to interrupt them. A small voice inside wondered if he might be able to sneak around, walk home alone so that Alphonse could talk to his heart's content with this girl. Of course, as soon as the thought entered Ed's head, Al looked up and beckoned to him. His companion looked up as well, and Edward saw she had a dainty, round face with inquisitive eyes.

Feeling quite vulnerable at the idea of someone he was unfamiliar with judging him, Ed was slow to finish his descent and join the duo under the shade of a tree. When he was close enough, Alphonse began the introductions. "Brother! This is May, she's a new exchange student! May, this is Edward."

Blessedly, his name didn't bring about the dreaded flicker of recognition Ed had become used to. Instead, May smiled at him, bowing deeply. "It's good to meet you! Alphonse and I share a physics class, and he's been telling me a lot about the school. I'm from Xing, see, and it's very different there."

How different? Different enough for May to not care about who he was? Or had Al been hiding those parts of CCHS from her thus far? Edward's hand crept up to his braid, fingers playing with the free end, a nervous tic. "It's nice to meet you too, May. So you're a junior as well?"

The girl's grin widened, self-satisfaction evident in her tone as she replied. "No, I'm a sophomore! Back in my home country, science is considered the most important subject, so I tested well enough here to be placed in the AP class. I'm so glad, too—Al is the nicest person I've met so far!"

"Well," Ed chuckled, "that's not going to change. My brother's too sweet for his own good."

Glancing over at the person in question, Edward saw that Alphonse was blushing at the attention. "Hey, don't make me out to be a saint, Brother. May will be disappointed if you get her expectations too high."

Regrettably, Ed rather thought May was going to be disappointed anyway, through no fault of Al's. But when she heard about Edward's muddied past, her view of his brother would be tainted by association. Given how Alphonse's eyes kept darting to her, Ed thought he must be quite fond of the exchange student, and hoped the secret wouldn't come out too quickly.

"Anyway, May, I'm sorry to go but we ought to be getting home." Al's tone conveyed just how sorry he was. "But I'll see you on Monday!"

"See you then!"

May's chipper farewell echoed in Ed's ears, and in the silence between the two brothers as they made their way home. Finally, when they were halfway there, Edward dared to ask the question he least wanted to. "Al? You seem to really like May, huh?"

Alphonse kept his gaze locked forward, but couldn't hide the warmth in his cheeks as he answered quietly, "Yeah, I do. She's so smart, and pretty, and kind…"

Swallowing hard, Edward went on, each word that left his mouth feeling like a razor blade on his tongue. "So, what are you going to do when she finds out about me? It's—it's only a matter of time."

The faintly dreamy expression that had been lingering on his brother's face faltered as Al considered the question. Finally, he shook his head, and when he spoke he was resolute. "I'm going to hope she's a good enough person to see past the gossip, and to see who you really are. If she can't…well, she's not for me."

What must it be like to have such optimism? To feel so sure of yourself, and of what's important to you! Edward found himself choked up by Alphonse's unwavering support. Unable to find words, he just nudged his brother with his elbow. Al knew what he meant. Still, as much as Ed appreciated knowing Alphonse would always be on his side…his fervent hope was that May would be more forgiving to his faults than everyone else at CCHS, for Al's sake.